Journal Entry #26. Thursday, July 14, 2018. Harley Keener.
It has been a few days since my sister Emily had been mysteriously poisoned by a dart. She's been in the hospital ever since. I heard she's doing okay and that she's in stable condition. I don't know exactly who or what poisoned Emily. Emily just got released from the hospital a few hours ago. Right now I'm in the backseat of the Cooper van, listening to EDM music on my iPod Shuffle, or as I like to call it the iPod Kerfuffle since i don't really the name Shuffle. It's a little known fact that I have a penchant for making puns out of common names i don't particularly like in an attempt to make the names sound cooler. For example, I don't particularly like the word mini. It's a stupid word, mini. It's short for minituare, but I like to call the word mini fini. I know finituare isn't a real word, but at least it's better than the word mini in my opinion.
That's why I like to change the names of nouns and adjectives in an attempt to make the word sound better in my opinion. It may not always make sense to some people, but hey. Not everything in life has to make sense. Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that some things may not make sense in life. There may be a brand name that sounds so nonsensical that you'll start to wonder if the name is even real or just some made up word. Take medicine names for example. Oh god. Medicines are the king of nonsensical names that no one in their right mind would think are sane. You have some normal sounding names like Tylenol, NyQuil and Xanix. Then you have some truly absurd medicine names that are so out of left field, you'll start to wonder if the people who came up with those names were high on drugs when they came up with the name of the medicines.
For example, there's this diabetes medicine that's an insulin that has a name called Tresiba. What kind of a name for a diabetic medicine is Tresiba? That doesn't sound like the name of a type of insulin. Tresiba sounds more like a street name or the name of a remote village in the Philippines than a name for diabetic insulin. I wouldn't be surprised if the makers of the medicine borrowed the name Tresiba off some street name they saw or some city they visited and used that name for their diabetic insulin medicine. It doesn't sound like a medicine name. It really doesn't. I've never known anybody who has taken a medicine named Tresiba, let alone heard of the name Tresiba before. That's what I mean about prescription medications being the king of nonsensical names. Could you imagine walking into your local Walgreens or CVS and asking the physician if they've got a medication named Tresiba or Trelegy? They'd look at you like, The hell are you on?
That's why I hate whenever a new medication commercial airs on TV. You'll never know what sort nonsensical name pharmaceutical companies will come up next for their new medications.
Harley Keener stopped writing in his journal. His right hand was starting to get tired of writing all that much in his journal. He was in the Cooper Van with Sly Cooper, Bentley, Murray and his little sister Emily. They weren't really going anywhere special. Harley was softly lip synching to the Daft Punk song Get Lucky. Harley put his journal to the side. He looked at his sister Emily. Emily Keener had long blonde hair with bangs. She was Caucasian like Harley. She wore glasses over her eyes. Her eyes were green. Emily looked to be around eleven years old. She wore a purple shirt.
Harley debated whether or not he should tell Sly and his friends about the tragedy that had fallen upon the people of his world. They probably wouldn't believe him even if he tried to explain what happened to half the people of his world. Who would ever believe that such a thing could actually happen in reality? That half of the Earth's population would suddenly disintegrate into dust in an instant without any explanation. Bentley would probably want to know who or what caused half the population of his world to disintegrate into dust. Harley wouldn't know how to answer Bentley's question as to who or what caused the genocidal event that happened in his world because he didn't know who or what caused half the people of his world to disintegrate into dust unexpectedly. Who would be insane enough to think it'd be a good idea to decimate half the world's population all at once?
Harley reached into his bag and pulled out his white PlayStation 1 Slim model console with the LCD screen attachment. The PlayStation 1 Slim model (also known as the PSOne) had a LCD screen to play games on. It had an AC adapter to play with it, as the console had no room for an internal battery inside of it. Harley set the PlayStation console aside and dug through his bag to fish out some PS1 games. The PS1 games Harley brought him were: Final Fantasy VII, Resident Evil 2, Dino Crisis, Family Fued and Crash Bandicoot. Harley liked the fact that he could easily play his PlayStation 1 games on the go using an AC adapter. Harley got his PlayStation games out of his bag. He had Final Fantasy VII, Silent Hill, Spider-Man 2: Enter Electro and Crash Bandicoot. He took out the AC adapter that plugged into the cigarette lighter in the car that was used to plug into the PlayStation console. He handed the AC adapter cord to Sly.
"Could you plug this into the cigarette lighter port in the van? I need it to play my PlayStation?" Harley asked Sly.
"Sure, bud." the raccoon said to Harley. He plugged the AC adapter cord into the cigarette lighter port in the van. Harley took out Final Fantasy VII, his favorite game of all time. He inserted one of the discs into the console. He closed the lid on the console and turned on the power on his PlayStation console. The game started up. Harley then started to play a few levels of Final Fantasy VII.
A few moments later, Harley's BlackBerry cell phone rung. The remix of the theme song of the Disney Jr. cartoon: Little Einsteins started to play on his phone. That was his ringtone for his phone. Little Einsteins was one of Harley's favorite cartoons growing up. He loved the Little Einsteins theme song. He liked the theme song so much, he decided to have it as his cell phone ringtone. Harley paused his game and reached into his pocket for his BlackBerry cell phone to see who was calling him. It was his Aunt Miranda from Minnesota who was calling him. Harley wondered why his aunt was trying to contact him for. Harley answered the phone.
"Hello?" Harley said into the phone.
"Harley? Where are you and Emily? I've been ttying to call you for ages. I'm here to pick you and Emily up from your house and bring you and her over to my house in Minnesota." Harley Keener's aunt said to her nephew. Harley suddenly remembered calling his aunt the day before he and his sister Emily were sucked into the world of the Sly Cooper games. It had been a week since half the population of his world was disintegrated into dust. Harley and Emily both lost their mother unexpectedly and unexplainably. Harley and Emily had to do everything themselves. Harley had to do everything himself. He had to clean up around the house, try to learn how to cook food for the first time, attending online school via his laptop. It was starting to get a little too much for Harley to handle. That was worse than what Cinderella had to go through with her step-family.
Harley had felt bad for Cinderella and the gruelling work she was forced to do for her step-family. At least Cinderella had a fairy god mother to make things easier for her to handle. Harley and Emily didn't have a fairy god mother to make things easier for them to handle. They were getting tired of living by themselves for a solid week. Harley called his aunt Miranda from Minnesota to see if he and Emily could live at her house in Minnesota with their half blind epileptic cousin Lucas.
Harley and Emily wanted to wait until the next day to start packing their things to go to their aunt's house. They started packing their things to go to their aunt's house. Harley decided to take a break from packing his things to play a few levels of Sly 2 on his PlayStation 2. It was pouring rain outside. There was also thunder and lightning outside. Harley haven't played the Sly Cooper games in a while. He wasn't as interested in playing the Sly Cooper games as he used to when he was younger. The thing that intrigued Harley about the Sly Cooper games was the fact the games plots felt like they were from some action movie. Harley had always wondered what it would be like to be in the Sly Cooper games for himself. It was the perfect opportunity for Harley and his sister Emily to go from their world to the world of the Sly Cooper games. Half the people he knew and loved had vanished. Harley had nowhere else to go, no family he could live with except for his aunt and uncle in Minnesota, although he really had no desire to go live with his aunt and uncle in Minnesota. In a way he was kind of glad that he and his sister were sucked into the Sly Cooper games. At least he'll have people to look over him.
"Shit. How long have you been waiting for me?" Harley asked his Aunt Miranda.
"A few days now I've been waiting for you. Where are you?" Aunt Miranda asked her nephew. Harley didn't know what to say to his aunt. He couldn't tell her he was in the Cooper van with Emily, Bentley, Sly and Murray. She would never believd him. If he did try to explain to his aunt that he was in a van, his aunt would start panicing, worried that Harley was being kidnapped by strangers, even though it couldn't ben further from the truth. Harley decided to lie and say that he was at his friend Perry Winkle's house.
"I'm at my friend Perry Winkle's house." Harley lied to his aunt.
"Ok. Hope you're having fun over at your friend's house." Aunt Miranda said to her nephew. Harley hung up the phone.
"Who was it that called you?" Emily asked Harley.
"Aunt Miranda called. She wanted to know where we were at and if we were ready to go to her house." Harley said to Emily.
"Why would your aunt want you and your sister to go live with her for?" Bentley asked Harley. "What happened to your mom?"
Harley was afraid that Bentley would eventually ask about what happened to his mother. Harley wasn't if he really wanted to tell the turtle about what happened to his mother along with half a billion people of his world. Who would believe him if he told anyone about the fact that his mother along with half the population of his world were disintegrated into dust? Nobody would've believed him. Everybody would think it was a fake. Harley wasn't if he wanted to tell Sly, Murray and Bentley about the genocidal event that had plagued his world. Would they believe him if he told them?
"You sure you want to know what happened to my mother?" Harley asked Bentley.
"Yeah. I'm curious to know what happened to your mother that was so bad that you and your sister have to live with your aunt?" Bentley inquired Harley.
"Alright. If I do tell you what happened to my mother, do you promise that you'll believe every word I'm about to say to you guys. That you won't try and say that it's fake or that I'm making all of it up?" Harley said to Sly, Bentley and Murray.
"Yeah. We'll probably be able to believe what happened to your mother." Bentley said.
"We'll believe your story too as well." Sly said to Harley. "If you don't want to tell us about what happened to your mother, that's fine."
Harley hesitated for a few minutes. He was starting have second thoughts about telling the Cooper Gang about what happened to his mother along with half the population of his world. He decided he might as well get it off his chest.
"If somebody were to tell you that their mother along with half the population of their world was disintegrated into dust, would you believe they were insane?" Harley asked Bentley.
Bentley didn't know how to answer Harley's question. His question seemed so unbelievable to him. He didn't know whether to say yes or no to Harley's crazy question.
"I don't know. I would think that they were insane. Half the population of Earth wouldn't just disintegrate into thin air." Bentley explained to Harley.
"What if I were to tell you that's exactly what happened to half the population of my world? That my mother along with half the entire population of my world were disintegrated into dust inexplicably all at once, all over the world." Harley said to Bentley. The turtle was speechless by Harley's statement. He didn't know whether to believe his story as true or not.
"How did that happen? How many people were disintegrated?" Bentley asked Harley. The human boy took out his journal, flipped it over to a new page and wrote down exactly how many people were disintegrated in his world. He wrote down the entire population of Earth which was 7.26 billlion on the top of the page, how many people were disintegrated (3,831,000,000) on the middle of the page and how many people were left on his world on the planet Earth (4.3 billion) on the bottom of the page. Harley tore the page out of his journal and handed it to Bentley. Bentley read the data Harley had put down as to how many people had vanished in his world. He was astonished by how many people had vanished in Harley Keener's world. He couldn't believe that many people had simply been disintegrated into thin air.
Harley's cell phone rang again. It was his aunt Miranda calling him again. Harley answered the phone.
"Hello?" Harley said into the phone.
"Harley. Why did you lie to me about where you were. I called your friend Perry to see if you at his house with him or not. He said that you aren't in his house. I want to know where you and your sister really are." Aunt Miranda said to her nephew, upset at the fact that Harley had lied to her about where he and Emily were at. Harley didn't know what to say. He didn't want to say to her that he and Emily were in a van in a video game, as he knew she would freak out. At the same time, Harley didn't want to risk lying to his aunt about where he was again.
"If you really want to know where me and Emily are at, we're in a van inside a video game." Harley said to his aunt.
"What do you mean you and Emily are inside a van inside a video game?" Aunt Miranda wondered.
"Go up into my room and turn on my PlayStation 2. After you do that, there should be a game in there called Sly 2: Band of Thieves. Go to the end of Episode 4. Tell me if you see me there." Harley told his aunt. His aunt was a bit skeptical about what Harley had told her to do. Why would her nephew be in a video game. In Harley Keener's house in 2018, Harley Keener's aunt Miranda went upstairs into Harley's bedroom like Harley had instructed her to do. She turned on the PlayStation 2 console.
"I turned on the PlayStation 2 in your bedroom. Now what?" Aunt Miranda said to Harley.
"Grab the controller and wait for the game to start up." Harley said to his aunt.
"Ok. Are you sure you and Emily are inside a van inside this Sly Cooper game?" Aunt Miranda asked Harley.
"Yes." Harley said. Aunt Miranda waited for the Sly 2 game to start up. The Sly 2 game started up. Aunt Miranda pressed the start button. She was taken to the episode select screen. Aunt Miranda looked at the game. She saw that it had anthropomorphic animals inside the game. She selected the fourth episode: Jailbreak. She started the episode up. What she saw next on the screen would defy explanation for her. Aunt Miranda saw her nephew Harley and her neice Emily inside the interior of a van. Harley Keener looked like a cartoon character. He was sitting next to a turtle with glasses and a pith helmet on his head. Miranda Keener couldn't believe what she saw. Her nephew Harley along with her niece Emily were inside a van in a PlayStation 2 game with anthropomorphic animals in it. She didn't know what to do. She hung up the phone.
Back in the Cooper Van Harley was shocked He slowly realized that he may never see his mother or his aunt ever again. That he may never be able to return home to his own universe ever again. It was like Harley and his sister Emily were destined to be in the Sly Cooper world possibly forever.
"Hey Harley. How did you and your sister end up in the Museum of Natural History back in Cairo?" Sly asked Harley.
"I don't really know how me and Emily ended up inside the museum in Cairo." Harley said. His mind started rolling back to the moment where he and his sister Emily left their world and wound up in the Sly Cooper world. It was pretty shocking, to say the least.