Chapter 3

I groan and stretch as I am awakened by the buzzing of my phone. I reach over and pick it up off the nightstand, giving a small sigh when I see the name on the phone. I can't exactly be mad that she's actually reaching out…but does it have to be now? I finally hit answer and pull the phone to my ear, "Hey sis."

"Ty, save me," Alyson answers. I can't tell if her tone is sarcastic or sincere. I smirk though, remembering the text Avi sent me before bed.

"How's my sister, the church goer?" I say with a chuckle. I still can't believe Avi talked Alyson into going to church with her. Well, she did get Chloe to go…maybe she's just that persuasive.

"If you breathe a word of this to Tessa, you're dead meat," Alyson says. That was totally sincere.

"Good thing we don't talk to her anymore," I say, still keeping a sarcastic tone. "This would be a great reason to track her down. She would love to hear about this."

"I swear, Tyler," Alyson grumbles. "I do not need her reaching out to me and sending me Bible verses every day until the Rapture."

"Relax," I say with a chuckle, "I don't think even that would get her to show her face after what Tom did."

"I hope you're right," Alyson says. "I don't want to do this." I hear a twinge of desperation in her voice.

"Hey, it's okay," I say, my voice immediately taking a calm tone. "You've got this. You're the social butterfly between us. I'm sure you'll meet some of Avi's friends and hit it off. Or who knows, maybe church will help. Avi says it helps her and she swears by it."

"Maybe," Alyson sighs, still sporting a lack of confidence. "Well, I gotta go, Avi's calling for me."

"Alright, call me after service and let me know how it went," I say, wishing I could talk longer to her. "Love you."

"Love you too," Alyson replies. The line goes dead and I let out a sigh. "She sounds a little better," I whisper to myself. "But she's not the one to dread social situations like that." My head snaps up as I hear a door slam shut. I hear footsteps near the bedroom door as Michael pokes his head through.

"I woke up at four this morning, drove to our fishing spot, caught dinner for the week, and came home and you're still not out of bed?" Michael says, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry, it was a long night," I say with a sigh as I let out a yawn.

"Have you heard from Aly?" Michael asks as he comes and sits next to me on the bed.

I nod, "She actually was the one to wake me up. Avi's dragging her to church and she wasn't a fan of the idea."

"Alyson Ronan going to church?" Michael says, practically astounded. "Oh Tessa would have a cow with that! No one made more jokes about church or the Rapture than Aly did. What'd you tell her?"

"I told her just to try it," I say, "meet some of Avi's friends at the very least. Or who knows…maybe it will help. Avi told me that church helped her. Maybe it would help Alyson. I'd be okay with anything if it would help her at this point."

"How did she seem?" Michael asks, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"A little better I think," I say. "She sounded so insecure though. She's usually the social butterfly. It just sounded so out of character for her."

"Hey, give her some time," Michael says. "We don't know what all is going through her head but we know it's a lot and she's being thrust into a whole lot of unknown with two people who she knows well but hasn't spent a whole lot of time with. I think you two made the right call on getting her out of here to heal but it's going to take time and an adjustment period to get there." He gently rubs my back.

"I hope you're right," I say as I lay my head on his shoulder. "I'm just worried about her."

"As any good brother should," Michael says, resting his head on top of mine. "But those two girls love you both fiercely. They're going to do everything they can to help her. They won't let anything happen to her." He gives me a soft kiss on the top of the head.

"What would I do without you?" I ask, gripping his hand.

"Starve for one thing," Michael says laughing. "Which speaking of, you have fish to clean."

"Way to ruin a moment," I groan with a sigh. "Why does it always have to be me who cleans them?"

"Hey, I caught them and I'm going to cook them," Michael says as he stands up. "The least you could do is clean them." He winks at me as he walks out of the room calling out, "I'll get the cooler out of my car!"

"You're a killjoy!" I call out as I roll my eyes and follow him out of the room.

I tap the end call button and slide my phone back in my pocket. I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to gulp down the feeling of dread that had started to rise up. This is why I don't talk about how I feel…even suggesting it, I think to myself. I hear Avi call my name again and I take a breath, letting the familiar numbness wash over before turning around.

"Aly!" Avi calls as she walks up to me. "There you are! Church is about to start and I wanted to introduce you to my people before they have to go on stage!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I say, trying not to groan. I gulp, trying to keep any dread from rising up again. Avi leads me into the sanctuary and to the back row where Chloe is sitting and talking to three other girls.

"Hey, we were just talking about you!" Chloe says, looking at me with a wink.

"Guys, this is Alyson," Avi says, putting a hand on my shoulder.

A girl about my height with chin length brunette hair smiles and waves, "I'm Ashley! It's so good to finally meet you! Chloe and Avi talk about you all the time."

"Do they now?" I ask, raising an eyebrow as I look over at my cousins.

"Only good things of course!" Ashley says with a chuckle.

"I'm Amber," a girl about Ashley's height with longer blonde hair says. "I'm Ashley's sister."

"They're the pastor's daughters," Avi says. "They also sing on the worship team. The guy with the electric guitar," Avi points to a taller guy on stage getting in position for the service, "is Amber's husband."

"And I'm Kaley," the last girl, shorter than Avi with dirty blonde hair about Amber's length, says, "I've been good friends with Amber, Ashley, and Avi for a while now. I don't sing though but my husband is the one playing the drums…if you can see him in the drum cage."

"Nice to meet you all," I say with a numb smile.

"I guess it's time to go up there," Ashley says. "We can talk more after service!" Ashley and Amber walk up to the stage while Avi and Chloe sit in the row in front of Kaley.

"The married ones get the back row while us single folk have to sit a row up," Chloe says with a chuckle. "I promise you, it's not as bad as you think it will be. Just stand when they tell you to stand and sit for the sermon and you should be fine!" She gives me a small smile that I return but it doesn't touch the empty numbness I feel as service begins.

I breathe a sigh of relief when service is over. Chloe was right, in theory it wasn't as bad as I thought but the gnawing dread in my stomach wouldn't leave. I'd crawl out of my skin and run away if I could, I think to myself. I keep my fingernails in my palms as Avi drags us up to Amber and Ashley's parents; the pastors of the church. I take a breath, trying to numb the dread away to no avail.

"Pastor Dave, Mrs. Tammy, this is Alyson," Avi says as I walk up slowly behind her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Pastor Dave, a taller man with thinning salt and pepper hair, says as he shakes my hand. "I'm glad you could join us today!"

"Oh, Ashley told me you came today but I was afraid I missed you!" Mrs. Tammy, a shorter woman with mid length curly hair, said as she reaches out her hand to shake mine. I take hers and shake it as she says, "It's good to meet you! How are you related to Chloe and Avi?"

"Biologically, I'm Chloe's cousin," I answer. "Our mothers were long lost half siblings. But I just adopted Avi as my cousin too." I look over at Avi who gives me a smile.

"Well, I'm glad you were able to join us today!" Mrs. Tammy says smiling. "We were going to go out and grab a bite to eat if you'd like to join us?"

I whip my head around to look between Chloe and Avi. Chloe nods her head as Avi says, "I don't think we have anything going on if you'd like to go, Aly?"

Every fiber of my being screams to say no. I know I should want to go; I know I would normally want to go, but everything in me feels otherwise. But with feeling nothing but dread and numbness, the habit of going with my rational, what I know I would normally think or feel, kicks in as "Yeah, sure," comes flying out of my mouth before I realize what I've done. Dread fills my stomach but I dig my fingers into my palms and smile. My mind fades out of the conversation but my eyes follow their moving mouths as if I'm following along. I walk out of the church with Avi and Chloe to the car not entirely sure of what's going on.

We arrive at the restaurant with a whole group of people and are finally seated. My mind is still faded out, barely aware of my surroundings as I stare at the menu. An empty numbness finally washes away the dread as I take a deep breath and allow myself to think again. The waitress comes by to grab our orders and I zone back out again as conversations happen around me.

"Alyson?" Avi calls and breaks me from my empty mind. I meet her eyes and notice her almost worried expression.

"Sorry, I must have zoned out," I say nervously.

"You're fine," Mrs. Tammy says. "I was just asking where you were from?"

"Oh, Alaska," I answer. "Specifically, a tiny town called Delos Crossing."

"That's so cool!" Ashley says. "Alaska is so beautiful! Have you lived there your whole life?"

I nod, "Born and raised."

"What family do you have up there?" Amber asks.

"Just my twin brother and my uncle," I answer. "My mom lived there too but she died when I was 11."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," Mrs. Tammy says. "Was your father never part of your life?"

I chuckle, "That's a long story, but no, he was never a father to me. My only father figure is my uncle…who technically isn't my father but just a close friend of my mom's who adopted me after she died. He just asked me to call him 'uncle' instead of 'dad'."

Mrs. Tammy nods, "How did you get in touch with Chloe and Avi?"

"I wanted to see if I had any biological family left out there besides my brother," I say. "We had uncovered some stuff when my brother and I finally went back to our old house to clear it out. I found out who my grandfather was but he had passed away so they connected me to his daughter, Chloe's mother."

"That's so cool!" Mrs. Tammy says. "I love hearing stories of people finding long lost family members! So how long are you going to be in town?"

I freeze for a moment before Avi pipes in and says, "We were planning on her staying through the summer unless she gets sick of us beforehand." She gives me a wink and I breathe a sigh of relief. The waitress brings out our food and the conversation dies down a bit as we eat. I zone out again, the dread creeping back in as I try desperately to hide it. Why won't it just go away?

I grumble in frustration as the call goes to voicemail yet another time. "Why aren't you answering?" I ask aloud, feeling uneasy as I hang over the balcony of our apartment.

"Ty?" Michael calls out as he walks outside. He shuts the door behind him and stands next to me. "You get ahold of Alyson?"

I shake my head, "I've called like five times now and everyone goes straight to voicemail."

"Have you tried calling Chloe or Avi?" he asks. "Maybe her phone is dead?"

I shrug my shoulders as I pull up Avi's contact and dial her number. After several rings, a disgruntled, "Hello?" sounds off from the other end.

"Hey Avi," I answer as I put the phone on speaker. "It's Tyler."

"Oh hey!" she says. I can still hear her panting a bit as she says, "Sorry, we are working in my classroom and I was trying to get out the door in time to answer. I get just enough service inside the classroom to get the call but not enough to answer it unless I step out the back door."

"Is that why Alyson didn't answer her phone?" I ask, breathing a bit easier.

"Probably," Avi answers, "she's here with us and we didn't hear a phone go off until mine if you just tried to call. Did you want to talk to her?"

"Yeah, but before I do," I start. I hesitate before asking, "How is she?"

"She's acting okay," Avi says. "I feel like there's more going on in her head but she hasn't said anything. But she seems a lot better based on her actions."

"That's something right?" I ask, not sure how to take what Avi said. I glance over at Michael who seems a bit uncertain too.

"I think so?" Avi says. "I feel like if she would just talk it all out, we'd make better progress."

"Maybe I could try?" I say. "I know she told me that what happened with our mom gave her nightmares but that's all she's ever said to me."

"You could try," Avi says. "But don't push her, we're at the school and I'm not sure this is the best place for a heart to heart."

"Okay," I answer.

I hear some shuffling before Alyson's voice comes over the phone, "Hey Ty."

"And Michael!" Michael almost shouts into the phone.

"Hey you!" she says. She almost sounds happy, I think to myself.

"How's my favorite sister doing?" I ask.

"Busy!" she answers. "Avi's been putting me to work in her classroom, getting stuff put together and hanging things. We're getting a lot of work done at least!"

"Well good!" I say. I hesitate before adding, "You sound better!"

"I'm actually enjoying this," Alyson says. "I didn't think I would but I've enjoyed helping Avi put together her classroom. It's given me a creative outlet where I don't have to come up with all the resources for."

"I'm glad you're enjoying it!" Michael says. "Everything else going okay?"

"Yeah, Chloe has been up here Mondays through Thursdays but Avi and I have been hanging out some," Alyson says. "I've come up here and helped Chloe some too. Just been keeping myself busy…or rather Avi and Chloe have been keeping me busy."

"Are you sure you aren't so busy that you're just shoving everything down?" I blurt out. Michael shoves me and I look up at him and mouth, "She can't be shoving everything down and expect it to go away".

A pause settles over the room. I almost assume the line went dead before Alyson almost growls, "I'm fine, Tyler. I'm not something you need to constantly worry about or protect. I'm fine."

"I'm sorry," I say, genuine regret in my voice. "I just want to make sure that-"

"Was there anything else you needed, Tyler?" Alyson asks with a growl to her tone.

"N-no," I say confused, "I was just calling to check in."

"Well, I have to get back to work," Alyson says. "I'll talk to you later."

"Alright bye. Love y-" The line goes dead before I can finish my statement. I hang my head and I can feel Michael's eyes on me. "Please don't say it," I mutter.

"Then why did you do it?" Michael asks. "Asking questions like that is just going to make her clam up. She's like a turtle. You may be able to coax her from her shell but any sudden moves and she's right back in again."

"A turtle?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Do you get the analogy?" Michael asks, rolling his eyes.

"I do," I say. "But a turtle?"

"If you ever tell your sister I compared her to a turtle," Michael says, "I'm throwing you from this balcony." I roll my eyes as I let myself get lost in thought.

My eyebrows furrow as I hang up the phone. That familiar gnawing guilt and dread creeps back in as I try taking breaths to let numbness wash back over. God, Tyler, why did you have to bring this up? I think to myself. I dig my nails into my hands, gritting my teeth in an attempt to go numb again. Why isn't it going away? I ask myself as I reach under my sleeves and claw at my arms. Finally, after my arms are burning red, numbness overtakes the dread. I breathe a sigh of relief as I walk back into the classroom.

"Did you get lost out there?" Avi asks as I walk back in. "Or did Tyler just miss you that much?"

I roll my eyes as I hand her back her phone, "So what's next?"

"Well," Avi says, taking a breath and looking around the classroom, "I actually wanted to know…" She walks over to a bag in the corner of the room and pulls out a sign that reads "Cinema; Always Showing" with a blank canvas underneath the words. "I was thinking of putting something on here so where it would say 'always showing hard work, respect, responsibility', stuff like that. Would you like to brainstorm something for that and maybe sketch it out to paint on the canvas while I do some organizing and planning?"

"Sure!" I say, sounding excited. She smiles and hands me the canvas and I grab a pencil from the bucket on her desk and sit down at the round table in her room. I let out a sigh. This is something that's totally up my ally…why don't I feel excited about it? I brush away my thoughts as I begin to sketch.

A couple hours later, the sound of the key sliding into a door handle is heard and the classroom door opens and Chloe walks in. "How are my two favorite people doing?" she asks with a smile.

"Trying to learn third grade curriculum," Avi mutters as she stares at her laptop. "You'd be surprised how different it is than fourth grade."

"I think you told me about that," Chloe says. "Something about how third grade is still learning to read and fourth grade switches to reading to learn?"

"Yep," Avi says. "That fourth grade slump is real."

I look up from what I'm doing and tilt my head, "How did you know that?"

"Isn't living with a teacher fun?" Avi chuckles. "You'll learn all the teacher terminology soon too, Aly."

"Depends on your definition of fun," Chloe says with a smirk. She walks over to me and asks, "What are you working on?"

"Avi asked me to finish off the canvas on this sign with some stuff she always wants showing in her classroom," I answer. I hold up the sign and ask, "What do you think? It's only a sketch now, but I have some ideas how to paint it and add your theme colors and-"

"Oh my gosh," Avi says, her mouth wide, "I love it! How'd that just come out of you?"

"An artist's brain I guess," I shrug. "You can talk about when grades learn to read or read to learn or whatever all that stuff is and I can draw. I think they're both creating art in some way." I give a small smile.

"I can't wait to see what the final product is!" Avi says. She looks at her watch and then up at Chloe, "Are you off now?" Chloe nods and Avi looks at me, "Are you at a good enough stopping point to stop for the day and grab dinner before heading home?"

"Yeah, I'm done with the sketch, it just has to be painted now," I say, setting the sign down and standing up. "Besides, I'm starving! What's for dinner?"

Chloe chuckles, "You're speaking my language! I'll eat anything so you two decide while I lock up and I'll meet you out at the car!"

"Sounds good!" Avi says as she grabs her keys and purse and I follow her out the back door where she pulled her car around. I feel a genuine smile appear on my face. Hey, my depression welled up and I was able to calm it down and get through the rest of the day…maybe I am getting better. Maybe I can do this.