Kain woke the next morning to find Rosa in the kitchen, preparing porridge into two bowls. At the sound of his approach, she looked up, and Kain knew by her puffy, red rimmed eyes that Rosa had recently been crying. Perhaps she had never stopped.
Rosa sniffled once, then twice, and for one tense moment, Kain thought she might burst into tears. But after several shaky exhales, she regained her composure, then offered him a warm bowl of porridge.
That's my girl, Kain thought, surprised by both the thought and his own sense of pride. But she was his, he realized; his Rosa, who might wince at a scrapped knee, but would never let it slow her down, or keep her from rejoining their adventure. His Rosa, who was tough but sweet, sharp witted but still kind.
"Where's your mother?" Kain asked, before he shoveled a spoonful of too hot porridge into his mouth. He breathed out his open mouth, trying to cool the food off before it burned his tongue.
Rosa watched with amusement, as she took the time to slowly stir her own porridge, more effectively cooling it off. But her expression turned somber again as she pondered his question. "I don't know," she said with a shrug. "She left early this morning, before I could ask."
Kain had more questions, but before he could voice them, a knock sounded at the door. Both he and Rosa jumped up from the table, then made a mad scramble to reach the door first. Rosa beat him, by virtue of her smaller, swifter size, and yanked the door open.
Cecil stood on the other side, fidgeting with his sleeves. When he saw the door open, Cecil straightened into the correct posture. "I came to offer my condolences," he said formally, his words stiff with rehearsal.
"Your what?" Kain asked, already scowling at Cecil from over the top of Rosa's head.
"My..." Cecil started, then paused, shaking his head. "I mean to say, I'm sorry about what happened." He looked at Rosa and his expression softened. "I never knew my parents, so I can't even imagine how painful it must be."
"You're right," Kain answered before Rosa could. He nudged her aside easily, taking a step between her and the door, blocking Cecil's view of her. "You couldn't possibly understand, and you shouldn't try." He felt Rosa's small hands tugging at him, yanking at his arms and shoulders to pull him back, but Kain had the size and weight advantage and held steady; he heard her grunting with genuine effort. "This is a family matter, if you don't mind."
"But I wanted to tell you-" Cecil started, but whatever words he might have said were lost as Kain closed the door.
"Why are you being such a jerk?" Rosa demanded as Kain turned around.
"Why are you so eager to have him around?" Kain countered, feeling suddenly hurt by her interest in Cecil.
"He seems lonely," Rosa said simply, as if that explained it all. Rosa, who had learned a simple Cure spell from her mother's books so she could soothe their well-earned scrapes and cuts; she was the always smiling girl, easily finding the person having the least amount of fun and doing her best to cheer them up; the girl with compassion deep in her bones, collecting broken things to bring to Cid, begging him to give them new life and purpose. This was Rosa, who found the loneliest boy in the kingdom and wanted to be his friend. How could Kain expect her to be otherwise?
Kain sighed, cursed himself for being so soft, then reluctantly opened the door.
Cecil still stood on the other side, his shoulders deflated with defeat, head hanging slightly. At the sound of the door opening, he perked up, looking hopeful.
"Do you want to come in?" Rosa asked, pushing the door open wider.
Cecil appeared stunned for a moment, then grinned wide as he stepped through. Then, seeing Rosa's red and tear-stained face up close, he remembered why he was here, and looked appropriately somber again. "I'm... really, really sorry," Cecil muttered as he passed them both; to Kain's surprise, Cecil sounded sincere and genuine, without the stiffness of rehearsal.
"Thanks," Kain muttered back, then closed the door behind them.
Rosa led them both back into the kitchen, where they all stood for an awkward moment. Rosa tried to discreetly wipe her damp eyes with her sleeve, but only succeeded in smearing the unshed tears across one cheek. Kain and Cecil watched each other, the first warily, the second curiously.
"What did you come to tell me?" Kain asked, remembering Cecil's cut off words.
"Oh!" Cecil remembered as well, his face lighting up. "The castle servants are preparing chambers near mine. Said it was for the Highwind boy." Cecil's head tipped curiously as he asked, "Do you have family coming in for your father's service? Can I help them get settled?" At the resulting confusion on both Kain and Rosa's faces, Cecil continued, "... or is it for you?"
"No," Rosa said quicky, now clutching Kain's arm tightly. "He's staying with us."
Kain remembered his father's last words to him, how important it was for Kain to see the Farrells as family. And now, despite the worst circumstances, Kain was finally achieving his dream: to be part of their family, to live with them, to be close to Rosa always. He took Rosa's hand in his and squeezed it; the reassuring gesture eased some of the worry in her eyes. "I'm staying here," Kain echoed and was rewarded with Rosa's smile, which made his heart feel lighter.
"I must have misheard," Cecil said, sounding dejected.
The door at the front clicked open again, and Joanna Farrell stepped inside. She looked tired and worn, the lack of sleep evident in the dark smudges under her eyes. At the sight of her serious expression, Kain's stomach dropped. "Perhaps you should go," Kain said quietly to Cecil.
"No," Joanna interrupted, joining the children in the small kitchen. She inclined a nod to Cecil in acknowledgement. "Please stay, Lord Harvey," her tone was stiff and oddly formal; Kain had never heard her sound so serious before. "This conversation affects you as well."
"How so?" Rosa asked, clutching Kain's arm tighter.
Joanna closed her eyes, drew in a deep breath, then opened her eyes again, looking directly at Kain. "You are now a ward of the crown," she said quickly, the words tumbling out of her. "Once you reach your majority, you will inherit the funds and titles from the Highwind estate. But until then, the King will manage your assets and provide for your care."
There was silence in the kitchen, as each child slowly absorbed the information. It was Rosa who first understood, asking quietly, "Does that mean Kain will live at the castle, and not here, with us?"
"Yes," Joanna breathed the word with a sigh; Kain was not sure if it was sadness or relief. She looked to Cecil next. "You are also a ward of the crown, as I understand it?" Cecil nodded in reply, and she continued, "Then you will be important to Kain as he navigates this new phase of his life. You'll essentially be raised as brothers."
Cecil couldn't help but smile and Kain immediately hated him for it. "No!" Kain shouted, surprised by the force of it. "I want to stay here!"
Joanna stood in silent thought, looking between the three children. Kain pulled Rosa in closer to him, and as they held each other, Joanna decided. "Rosa, why don't you take Lord Harvey to the garden and show him around? Kain and I need to discuss this in private."
"But Mama-" Rosa started, clinging stubbornly to Kain.
"Go," Kain said gently, disentangling himself from her. "We will talk it all out, I promise."
With several reluctant looks back, Rosa finally led Cecil out of the house, through the back door and into the garden. Kain could hear her soft voice through the door but not the words. Kain felt a strange new concern about them being alone together.
"Let us talk as adults," Joanna said, drawing his attention back to her. "Kain, you cannot stay here with us."
"Why not?" Kain asked, unable to keep the whine out of his words.
"For many reasons," Joanna said, folding her arms across her chest. Her face was neutral, in a tight mask of control. "Most of which cannot be explained, not now, perhaps not ever. But you must know that this is for the best."
Kain felt a tickle of tears in his throat and swallowed hard to chase it away. "But..." he started, but his voice was unsure and watery, and brought unwanted tears closer to the surface. He clenched his jaw tightly, stubbornly sure he wouldn't cry.
Joanna saw the struggle, and Kain was surprised to see tears of her own fresh in her eyes. "Damn you, Richard," she whispered, not to him but herself. She closed her eyes, causing the tears to spill off her lashes and down her cheeks. She made no move to wipe them away but held a hand to her heart. She took several deep breaths like this, then opened her eyes to look at Kain again. "There was so much your father had left to teach you. But he's not here anymore, so now it must be like this." With the heel of her hand, she wiped her cheeks. "You must go and find new friends, and they will be closer to you than Rosa."
"We can't even be friends?" Kain was outraged now, his sadness traded for anger. "Why are you doing this to me? What did I do to you?" Joanna didn't answer, but Kain saw more tears in her eyes. "Why do you want to keep us apart?"
"Because!" Joanna surprised them both with the forcefulness of her reply. "Because..." she continued, more quietly, "Rosa needs friends her own age. Friends who are girls. You need friends who are boys."
"That's a stupid excuse," Kain said with a sulk.
"It is the way of the world," Joanna said softly. "You will understand more when you're older." When Kain said nothing in reply, Joanna turned away, staring down at the floor as she spoke. "Cecil will escort you back to the castle. He's as alone as you are. Perhaps you can find common ground in that."
Kain thought about running out back to the garden, to tell Rosa of Joanna's demands, and knew it would be more painful to leave Rosa that way, with her heart wrenching sobs, pleading with him to stay. The thought of his back to her while she cried made his heart ache in a strange way.
Instead, he slipped past Joanna, out of the house, and into the cold day outside.
While Kain did go to Baron Castle, he did not report to his new quarters or wait for Cecil to return. Instead, Kain headed toward the military wing, and found himself outside in the training yard, where clustered groups of young recruits practiced their drills.
While the castle was largely new to Kain, this was at least familiar territory – he'd been here often with his father, watching as Richard walked a new set of recruits through the basic maneuvers. Kain had been practicing since he could stand, following along with their movements, holding his own wooden sword.
Now, though, Kain watched as he came upon the squad of dragoons, all outfitted in their draconic armor. They stood in pairs, each facing the other, practicing with real weapons in hand. Kain saw the care and thoughtfulness that went into each movement, each dragoon striving hard to break through their opponents' guard but holding enough back to pull away if they did.
There was a somberness, too, hanging heavy over the dragoons, all silent save the clink of armor and weapons as they moved and the occasional chime as weapons connected.
"Kain..." said a familiar voice. Kain turned to see a dragoon outfitted in green armor, his helmet pushed back to show his face: Albert Hawthorne, Richard's second in command. He approached Kain carefully, and Kain immediately resented the pity plain on Albert's face.
"Don't," Kain said abruptly, stopping Albert's words before the dragoon could speak. Kain turned back to watch the other dragoons still in practice. He saw how they angled themselves, to watch the exchange between Albert and Kain while still sparring. He knew of their desire to speak of Richard and to offer their sympathies, but Kain found he had no stomach for it. There were more important things, now. "You will take command?"
Albert looked surprised at the question, then allowed himself a small smile at the corner of his mouth. "Yes sir," Albert said. "Despite yesterday's events, today must continue."
"Of course," Kain nodded, knowing Richard would want the Dragoons to continue their greatness without him. It was a horrible realization that the world could go on so nonchalantly without Richard in it. Kain stuffed away the resulting messy emotion to deal with later and forced himself to focus on the new dragoons in the yard before him. "There are fewer recruits this year," Kain remarked.
"Yes," Albert agreed with a sigh. "With the Red Wings expanding their fleet, there's less interest in specialized troops."
"What was my father doing about it?" Kain asked. "And what will you do, now?"
Albert didn't reply, allowing silence to fill in the space between them. Kain looked aside to Albert, to see the dragoon watching Kain intently. It was when their eyes met, serious and somber, when Albert finally spoke, "I will hope for more who wish to find their glory in the skies. The question remains: do you, too, have the desire for the wind in your blood?"
Kain's heart leapt greedily at the fantasy of himself outfitted in his own specially crafted dragoon's armor, with its intimidating draconic helm. Not just any dragoon, though, Kain wanted to be the best one, as his father was. He thought of Joanna's odd judgment of him and if proving himself as a dragoon would be enough to redeem him in her eyes. Then, he reasoned, she wouldn't try and keep him and Rosa apart.
"I do," Kain said quietly.
"Come back tomorrow, first thing in the morning," Albert said, unable to hide his growing smile despite his grief. "You may be too young to start formal training, but there's still much you can learn."
"I'll be the first one in the yard," Kain promised.
After leaving the dragoons to finish their daily training, Kain reported to a guard and explained who he was. The guard brought him to Baron castle's steward, who escorted Kain to his new quarters, giving Kain an informal tour as they walked through the castle.
Kain's quarters were located within the southwest tower, somewhere in the middle levels. It was a modest room, bigger than his own room back home, but nicely furnished. A large bed sat against one wall, paired with a desk, a small table, and a wash basin. A freshly swept hearth had been prepared, with firewood stacked beside it.
The steward had explained Kain's schedule, with some of his time still spent with the other children, learning beside them, but some days would belong to private tutors. In lessons alongside Cecil, Kain would get the privilege of a royal education and upbringing.
Kain had remembered Joanna's words, raised as brothers, and felt suddenly queasy. The steward left Kain behind, encouraging him to take his time to explore the castle and its grounds, with a promise that Kain's belongings from his house would be delivered tomorrow. On his own again, Kain did leave his room to explore, but definitely not the ground.
Kain found a staircase leading upward and climbed up to the tower's top level. There was only one door at the top floor, and Kain found it unlocked as he tested it. Peering inside, he found a large, spacious room, with similar furniture to his own. This room was lived in, however, with a pile of books on the desk and fresh clothing laid out on the bed. The bed sat against the wall, beneath a large window and Kain wondered how this person slept with the bright moonlight in their eyes every night.
Kain approached the bed, and climbed across it, not mindful of his dirty shoes on the linens. He fussed with the windows' latch for a frustrating few seconds, and then it finally clicked open to the cold afternoon outside. After testing the ledge with a grunting push of his hand, Kain guessed that it was stable enough to take his weight. Climbing out the window, Kain clung tightly to the outer stone wall, finding purchase for his fingers in the irregular stone shapes, while his feet barely fit on the narrow ledge.
Kain peered up, trying to spot another handhold in the stones. He found one, then another higher up, then more in an irregular line all the way up to the roof. With the confidence and bravery found only in stubborn ten-year-old boys, Kain reached for the first stone, then, as he pulled himself up, he also pushed off with his legs to propel upward. He scrambled up to the next stone, then pushed off with his legs again. One by one, Kain climbed the wall. He reached the roof's edge and heaved himself up and over with a final grunt of effort.
Once on the roof, Kain stood with stable legs, despite the downward slant. From his high vantage point, Kain could see the castle and its entire grounds, including most of the road leading down into the city. He looked around the lower rooftops and saw a path he could easily follow, taking him across all the castle's buildings.
The wind tugged insistently at his clothing and ruffled his short blond hair, threatening to cover his eyes, and Kain felt an unexpected pang of grief – his father had always cut his hair, who would do it now? Kain remembered the gentle pressure of his father's fingers as Richard moved Kain's head one way or another, the gentle snick of scissors with each cut, the sudden fear as Kain felt the whisper of cold metal against his scalp, and then the inherent trust he had in his father to keep Kain protected.
Alone except for the wild winds, Kain began to cry.
The day passed and the sun shifted in the sky, slowly sinking down to the western horizon. At some point, hollowed out by his tears and aching grief, Kain curled up on his side and drifted off into an exhausted sleep.
Kain came awake abruptly, mired in confusion as to where he was. Slowly, he gained his bearings, shivering in the now chilly wind. He was beginning to gather himself up, to prepare for the downward climb, when he heard a nearby grunt. He inched over to the roof's edge, where he had climbed up, and peered down.
Cecil clung to the wall, hanging by the handholds Kain had used himself to climb up. He was shorter than Kain, not just by virtue of his younger age, but by his build. Kain was long and lanky, with most of his height in his legs, while Cecil was broader across the shoulders, with a longer torso. Despite his disadvantage, Cecil had managed up most of the wall, but struggled to reach the last stone between him and the roof's edge.
"Kain!" Cecil shouted out, in a mix of panic and relief. Cecil reached up, stretching his fingers out as far as they could go, still inches too short for the last stone grip. Kain reached down and grabbed Cecil by his wrist. "Help me," Cecil croaked out.
For one terrifying moment, Kain considered letting Cecil fall. The inexplicable urge rose from a dark part of himself he did not know existed before now. It would be far too easy to pass this off as accidental, as an unfortunate consequence of childhood adventure. With vivid clarity, Kain saw Cecil plummeting away - from Kain and any role in Kain's life, and his broken, twisted body on the ground below. Without Cecil, perhaps King Odin might consider another orphan as the heir and Kain could be even more than his father had originally hoped. He wondered how glorious it would be for the Dragoons to have their own on the throne. Would Joanna hate him so much, then? Would anyone ever stand between Kain and Rosa again?
But then Cecil looked up at him and Kain saw the trust in Cecil's eyes, the belief that Kain would hold tight and never let go. It was the same trust in Rosa's eyes, and Kain thought of her sorrow if something were to happen to Cecil. Rosa, who would always want to help, no matter how difficult it might be. Rosa, who would look at him with both horror and disappointment if she knew what he pondered now.
With the decision made, Kain gripped Cecil's wrist tighter, and yanked Cecil up and onto the roof. Kain fell back, and Cecil landed soundly on top of him, in a mess of sprawling limbs. With an arm on either side of Kain's head, Cecil pushed himself up, and looked down at Kain below him. "Thanks," Cecil said, cracking a grin.
"Get off of me," Kain said with a grunt, pushing at Cecil's shoulders. Cecil rolled aside, lying flat on his back now, staring up into the sky. The sun had started its descent in earnest, painting the sky in countless shades of reds, pinks, purples, and oranges.
"It's nice up here," Cecil said with a pleased sigh. "You've been here less than a day and you've already found a secret in the castle."
"Hardly a secret," Kain grumbled in reply.
"It will be nice to have someone to explore the castle with," Cecil continued, ignoring Kain's surliness. "I'm still trying to memorize the layout. I keep getting lost."
He seems lonely, Rosa implored Kain from his memories.
I am lonely, Kain answered back. Why hadn't Joanna seen and recognized that? How could she take away his one friend? And how could Rosa ask him to be better than those around him?
Dragoons don't make excuses, Memory-Rosa reminded him, and Kain knew that she was right.
"Do you see that low roof over there," Kain sat up and pointed in the distance. "If you follow that one, you could reach it from the training yard, if you had a ladder."
Cecil sat up as well, and scooted closer, to better follow the line of Kain's gesture. Their shoulders touched, and Kain was surprised to find the nearby warmth of Cecil's body made the cold seem less urgent. "It looks like they connect," Cecil said excitedly. "You could travel the whole castle by roof top."
"Exactly," Kain replied, but his mouth felt dry, the word tacky on his tongue.
"I bet the Chief Engineer's workshop has a ladder we could borrow," Cecil offered helpfully.
"No," Kain said, shaking his head. "He's as grumpy as a Goblin. We'll ask Cid, the Chief's first apprentice. He's much nicer and won't mind as long as we bring it back."
When Cecil didn't reply, Kain looked back to find Cecil staring at him. Cecil was suddenly a strange creature again, his eyes oddly lit in the dimming sunset. Cecil studied Kain a moment longer, then finally spoke, "I hate the circumstances that brought you here." Then, his serious expression softened as he smiled faintly. "But I'm glad you're here now. It's nice to finally have a friend."
"It is," Kain agreed, ignoring the uncertain flip flop of his stomach. "Let's head back," he suggested, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.
"Will you go first?" Cecil asked. "In case I slip?"
"I won't let you fall," Kain said, quick in his reassurance. He felt guilty about his earlier fantasy, a new shame burrowing into his already complicated feelings about Cecil. The idea of deliberately hurting Cecil suddenly gutted him; he told himself it was because of Rosa and how she'd feel. "I've got you," Kain offered Cecil a smile, and was rewarded by Cecil's relieved look.
Together, with Kain first and Cecil second, they descended back down the wall, through the window and back into the room within.
"The maid is going to have a fit," Cecil said, looking forlornly at the muddy mess on the bed.
"This is your room?" Kain asked incredulously.
"Yeah..." Cecil answered, sounding sheepish, and Kain wondered if Cecil would always have better than him, and if Kain would ever stop caring about it. Sensing a new tension between them, Cecil shifted awkwardly.
"Do you like being the heir?" Kain asked quietly, and by the resulting surprised expression, Kain knew it was the first time Cecil had ever been asked.
"Well..." Cecil started with a faraway look that Kain had begun to associate with Cecil. "Some things are nice. I have anything I want or need, and the King takes care of everything for me. But..." Cecil trailed off, looking suddenly guilty.
"But?" Kain prompted.
"But sometimes," Cecil continued, emboldened by Kain's support. "Sometimes I wonder who I'd be without the King telling me what to do. He says, you will learn this, and I learn it. He tells me where I am to live and I go. Soon he will tell me who I am to be, and whether that's the next King of Baron or not, I don't even know yet. But I must do it anyway."
"So you always do the best that you can," Kain concluded, feeling a new sympathy for Cecil. "Because you worry if you do it poorly, the King will throw you away."
"Yeah," Cecil agreed, a sadness echoing in the single world.
Kain and Cecil stood together in the melancholy silence, both staring at their feet. It was Cecil who finally broke it, to quietly ask, "Do you want to try and find Rosa with me, tomorrow?" Cecil grinned with an uncharacteristic mischievousness. "I thought we could go to her house, maybe, sneak her out and you two can show me around Baron."
Kain instantly lit up with the idea of getting to see Rosa again. He hadn't considered just disobeying Joanna and seeing Rosa regardless, and Cecil's suggestion made him realize just how easy it would be to circumvent Joanna. "Yes!" Kain exclaimed and saw joy on Cecil's face in response.
"And we'll go together?" Cecil asked, not fully believing Kain.
"Together," Kain affirmed, and somehow the idea of being friends with Cecil seemed not as terrible as before.