Kain dreamed again.
It had a certain clarity, like the previous night's dream, telling Kain he was witnessing the dead's memories again. He watched, bodiless and drifting, as two men strode through Baron Castle toward the Infirmary wing. At first, Kain could make out only a few stray words of their conversation, but as he became more aware, he caught the thread of it.
"And little Rosa is eight now?" the first man asked, his features crystalizing suddenly in the lens of the dream. Kain immediately recognized a younger Albert Hawthorne, his face not yet lined from years of concerned leadership.
"Yes," said the second with a now familiar smile: Roland Farrell. "She's getting cleverer by the day. I fear I won't be able to keep up soon."
"Isn't that the way with daughters?" Albert remarked with a laugh.
They rounded the corner to find Joanna and Richard further down the hallway, standing together in close conversation. Neither heard their approach, nor looked over to see them. Richard had a few papers in his hand, crumpled in his tight grip.
This is my father's memory, Kain realized with wonder as he recognized Richard.
"Richard, please," Joanna said, her voice low in a hiss. "This isn't the time or the place to discuss this." She turned to walk away in the other direction, toward the infirmary, but Richard grabbed her by the upper arm.
"Then when?" Richard asked, tugging hard on Joanna's arm to pull her back, his fingers digging sharply into her skin. "You would rather ignore what's happened?" He pushed her roughly into the wall, holding her pinned there; there was a wild fury in Richard's eyes that Kain had never seen before. "You would rather pretend it never happened?" he asked, holding the papers up to her face, gesturing aggressively. "Because I fucking can't, Joanna."
Joanna, although wide-eyed in fear, found her voice, "What do you want me to say? How can I change the truth? The past is what it is, and you must learn to live with it, as I have."
"It could be different," Richard said, softening his grip on her arm, his voice now husky as he murmured beside her ear. "We could make it different, how it should have gone between us, from the beginning. We cannot change the past but we could change the future."
Joanna remained stiff against the wall, not coaxed by Richard's softer tone. "I'm making the same decision you made for us all those years ago. This is for the best."
"I chose wrong, Joanna, you must see that for both of us. With everything that's happened, can you go really go on playing happy wife?" Richard asked, brushing his fingers lightly on her shoulder, as if he could wipe away the red imprints of his fingers indented there.
"You have your son," Joanna said gently, placing her hand carefully over his, squeezing. "And I have my daughter. Can you not be content with that?"
"What the hell is going on!?" Roland demanded. Both looked up, with Richard jumping back from Joanna to put proper distance between them. Joanna looked relieved while Richard fumed again with anger. He stormed past both Albert and Roland, checking Roland hard with his shoulder as he passed.
Looking furious, Roland started after Richard, but Albert caught Roland by the arm, halting him. "I'll handle this," Albert insisted. "Go see to your wife," he added, when Roland didn't move. Reluctantly, Roland turned back to Joanna, allowing Albert to pursue Richard. Both dragoons disappeared beyond the blurred edges of the dream.
Yet still, Kain's awareness lingered on, mercifully allowing the scene to continue despite Richard's departure.
"You want to tell me what that's about?" Roland asked, his voice still hard with anger.
"Do you really want to know?" Joanna asked, her voice a whisper, new tears standing in her eyes. "You'll regret asking," she added, sounding sad and solemn.
I want to know, Kain implored from his dream self.
You'll regret asking, Joanna repeated, this time taunting.
Roland said nothing, his face surprisingly neutral and controlled despite his previous fury. Joanna buried her face in her hands, her words muffled between her fingers. "Will you really make me say it?" She looked up from her hands with wet cheeks. "This terrible secret between us that we pretend is not there. Must we name it now?"
"Do... Do you still love me?" Roland asked, sounding unsure. "Do you still want to be with me?"
"Yes!" Joanna answered quickly, a new hope blooming through her tears.
Roland looked surprised at her answer, then shook his head. "Then, it does not need to be said. I..." he hesitated, then asked, "What of the children?"
"They don't need to know," Joanna said with a sniffle. "If you and Richard can agree to leave this alone."
Richard pulled Joanna into his arms, holding her delicately, as if might shatter in his embrace were he too passionate. "I… understand," he said cautiously.
But I don't... Kain protested as the scene began to fade to white.
Kain woke to dawn's light, spilling over the mountain's eastern side. At some point in the night, Rosa had gone and retrieved the remains of her white mage robes, laying it out across them as a makeshift blanket. Between the weighty fabric and Rosa nestled up beside him, sharing warmth, the cold of the mountain did not seem so bad.
Rosa was still sleeping, her breathing even and steady. She lay next to him, her head on his shoulder, her arm thrown possessively over his chest, her fingers in a loose grip on his opposite shoulder, as if she feared him slipping away unnoticed. His arm around her back kept her pressed to his side, his hand resting lightly on her bare hip.
Kain closed his eyes again and tried to hold on to the moment awhile longer. If only things could stay exactly as they were right now, then maybe Kain could be truly content for the first time in his life.
For a while, the world let Kain have his wish, until Rosa's soft voice broke the peaceful silence. "We cannot pretend to sleep much longer," she said with regret.
Kain's stomach dropped, knowing the moment was passing, as was inevitable with all such moments. "Perhaps," he murmured, not yet opening his eyes, and not loosening his embrace of her. Rosa didn't move either, just as unwilling to let this go. Somehow, knowing Rosa struggled too was a comfort. "I'm not ready for this to be over," Kain admitted, quietly, reluctantly opening his eyes again.
"Me neither," Rosa said as she shifted, propping herself up with her elbow on the ground, looking down at him. "Danger is like alcohol," she stated, without preamble. "It gets into you and makes your blood run hot, inspiring you to say or do things you might not normally do." She looked up at the entrance of the safety ward, her eyes going distant and unfocused. "The older mages told me it's not uncommon for romantic affairs to start on dangerous missions. Something to do with the vulnerability of risking your life and needing to be close to another person."
"That's a pretty speech," Kain remarked. "What are you trying to say, exactly?"
"I'm trying to say..." Rosa, who was usually never at a loss for words, hesitated. She looked back to him, drew in a deep breath to steady herself, then continued, "How you feel right now might not be how you feel when we step off this mountain." Kain opened his mouth to protest, but Rosa spoke over him. "And that's all right. Circumstances change. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that we should wait until we're safely back in Baron before we discuss what happened between us."
And to see if Cecil survived, Kain thought but did not voice it.
"Once we leave the safety ward, we need to worry about surviving and nothing else," Rosa said in the face of Kain's silence. "I need to stay focused. Can you do this, for me?"
Can you do this? Cecil reminded Kain of his promise, now angry and outraged.
"I can," Kain said, feeling a new pit of guilt settling in his chest.
Rosa shifted away from Kain, then stood from the shared bedroll. Kain averted his eyes, feeling suddenly embarrassed; he could hear her moving around, and the rustle of her clothing as she dressed.
"I..." Kain started as he sat up, still avoiding eye contact with Rosa. He cleared his throat, then started over. "I had another dream about our parents."
"Did you?" Rosa asked; Kain was grateful she leaned into the subject change. "What happened?"
"My father and your mother were discussing something heated," Kain hesitated, risking a glance toward Rosa. She was fully dressed in her archer's uniform and fixing her hair into a quick braid.
"What about?" Rosa prompted, not glancing up from her fingers as they worked.
"I'm not sure," Kain replied. He saw his discarded clothing on the ground and decided to risk standing up, moving quickly as Rosa seemed distracted. "But your father and Albert came upon them, and it seemed like..." He hesitated as he pulled on his pants, trying not to feel cold in the chilly morning air. "Do you think it's possible something happened between our parents? Something... romantic?"
"Do you mean to suggest that my mother and your father had a torrid affair?" Rosa asked, sounding amused.
Kain looked Rosa's way to see that she watched him openly, not carrying the same sense of embarrassment that Kain had. If she had any judgment about his nudity, he could not read it in her neutral expression. "I don't know," he muttered as he shrugged on his shirt, feeling relieved to be back in his clothes. "But there's something, I'm just not sure what it is."
"You could ask my mother," Rosa suggested.
Kain gave a short, humorless laugh. "You want me to ask a widow if she ever strayed from her marriage bed?" He shook his head. "If it were possible, she'd hate me more than she already does."
"Then ask Albert instead," Rosa offered next. "If he was present, he could confirm if the event actually happened, and you can go from there." She began packing up their supplies, being deliberately cautious as she handled each potion. "And if not, it's just a strange dream you had on a strange mountain."
Kain pondered her idea for a moment, then found himself nodding. "I think I will."
"But first," Rosa said with a nod toward his laid-out armor. "We need to get back to Baron."
Kain went to the armor and considered it for a long moment, feeling a growing reluctance deep in his bones. Rosa came up beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked over to her and she offered a brilliant smile, easing some of the trepidation Kain felt.
"Back to Baron," Kain echoed. And Cecil, the thought bubbled up, unbidden. A surge of new guilt followed, and he swallowed hard to chase the taste of it away. He turned to Rosa, then, feeling inspired, snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her to him.
"Kain!" Rosa exclaimed, but did not fight the close embrace, settling in against his chest. "We need to be serious."
"You said once we leave the safety ward," Kain said, as he reached up behind her back, loosely griping her braid. He lightly tugged, pulling her head back. He leaned in, brushed his lips against her exposed jaw and murmured, "Give me an hour." He relaxed the hold on her braid, allowing her movement of her head again, straightening back up to look at her.
Rosa inhaled sharply. "We don't have time," she said tightly, turning her head from his. But then she placed her hand over his heart, feeling it pick up in speed, hammering hard against her palm. "Twenty minutes," she said, shyly glancing back his way. "You don't have the stamina for an hour," she remarked, suddenly grinning.
"You wound my ego," Kain said with feigned hurt. "I'm betting I do," he said, leaning in again closer to her. "Prove me wrong," he challenged, kissing her before she could reply.
To Kain's delight, Rosa did.
Afterward, they dressed for a second time. The morning sun was well up on the horizon, mocking their lost time. Rosa packed up their supplies while Kain put on his armor, both working in thoughtful silence.
"Ready?" Rosa finally asked the dreaded question, as she stood by the entrance of the safety ward.
Never, Kain thought but instead said, "Ready."
Together, his left hand in her right, they passed through the glowing blue barrier of the safety ward. Once fully on the other side, Rosa pulled her hand away. She reached for an arrow from her quiver, while Kain unsheathed his lance, holding it ready. With one last longing look back at the only place Kain had ever known a moment of contentment, they left.
It would be the first of many regrets in Kain Highwind's life.
The first leg of their journey was relatively easy. They followed the trail of decaying corpses left behind the day before, some burned by fire or holy magic, others with their heads bashed in, but all rendered finally dead, freed from their terrible unlife. While a few monsters had wandered in overnight, they were dispatched easily. For the most part, however, the way was clear.
For a few hours, it gave Kain time to think. They moved through Mount Ordeals as silently as possible, not speaking to each other for fear of being overheard by any lingering monsters. He thought about the dreams of his parents, and what they might be trying to tell him.
Had Richard felt about Joanna the way Kain was feeling about Rosa now? Had their friendship blossomed into something more, behind Roland's back? And with Richard's abrupt death, was Kain's resemblance to his father too much for Joanna's guilty conscience to bear?
Your presence pokes at a wound that will never heal, Joanna reminded him.
Is that wound a broken heart? Kain wondered but had no answer.
Things became more difficult as they came to a new lower elevation, past where they had cleared the previous day. They encountered more monsters now, in larger clusters, making them difficult to single out to quickly kill.
Rosa, as she had warned, was intensely focused in battle. She fired off arrows with deadly accuracy and she used her Cure spell to soothe their injuries, but mostly to burn up the undead. Their terrible shrieks broke the eerie silence of the mountain, echoing off the cliff faces.
Kain struggled to keep up with her, taking point to draw the monsters' attention to himself, trying to draw the brunt of their attacks. But still, too often, they were focused on Rosa, pursuing her doggedly without concern of Kain's attacks. She was a holy beacon on a mountain of darkness and death, how could they ignore her? How could he?
Their meager supplies did not last long, with Rosa strategically using their Potions to ease their injuries when the need was not so urgent. By the late afternoon, as they approached the cave that led to the lowest elevation before the mountain's entrance, Rosa used the Ether, reluctantly draining its contents. She closed her eyes, swaying uncertainly for no more than a few seconds, then her eyes snapped back open, and she righted herself.
"Are you well?" Kain asked, putting a hand on her shoulder to steady her.
"Yes," Rosa murmured, inhaling slowly. "I can do this."
Kain wasn't sure if she was trying to assure him or herself, and who needed it more. Either way, it didn't matter – they pushed on.
They could hear the crackle of the immense fire before they saw it, as they descended the last set of stairs, then followed the curving path around the final bend.
"Thank goodness," Rosa breathed a sigh of relief as it came into view, huge and leaping, stretching with greedy arms of fire toward anything that might be within reach. The fire was a firm barrier between the mountain and the distant forest beyond it, blocking entry to any who tried to enter or leave.
Together, they approached the fire barrier, and Rosa began to dig through her bag for the Ice Rod. Heat rippled through the air, warming Kain's chilled body thoroughly, until he began to sweat in his armor. The roar of the flames was so much that neither Kain nor Rosa heard the scuffle of dragging footsteps behind them.
Rosa lifted the Ice Rod, arm poised, then let out a startled yelp. Kain turned to see a Revenant, the strongest of the known undead on Mount Ordeals, assembled by a terrible concoction of death magic and the dying's regrets. It stood behind Rosa, wearing the shredded robes of a Mysidian white mage and brought its clawed hand down in a swipe across her back. Rosa shrieked, and in her surprise dropped the Ice Rod.
Kain drew up his lance to strike, only to have something hard and strong swing at his head, rattling hard within the metal confines of his helm. Dazed, Kain slowly turned to face his attacker, a Zombie, in time to take another fist to the face, sending him stumbling backwards toward the flames.
Too close to the fire, his back became uncomfortably hot, the metal armor starting to sear his flesh. Kain let out an involuntary howl of pain, before charging forward, away from the fire and into the attacking Zombie. Together, they fell. While the Zombie had the strength advantage, imbued with its unnatural dark power, Kain had the size and weight advantage, and easily found himself on top, pinning the Zombie beneath him.
Hearing Rosa's desperate cries behind him, Kain punched the Zombie, its decaying flesh and bone soft under his gauntleted fist. Kain found himself filled with a desperate fury he had never felt before, and would have kept punching, but Rosa screamed, a full-throated, terrified sound that would haunt Kain's nightmares for the rest of his life.
Kain stood, fist dripping with rotting blood and viscera. He watched with horror as the Revenant, hunched over Rosa's crumpled body on the ground, leaned in, teeth open, and chomped down on Rosa's shoulder, then tore away a chunk of flesh in a savage, bloody bite.
Rosa did not move, still as a grave.
Roaring with outrage, Kain charged at the Revenant, knocking the monster off Rosa. The Revenant was considerably stronger than the Zombie, however, turning its teeth and claws on Kain now. He was lucky to have his armor, the enduring metal taking the brunt of the attack. Kain lifted his lance to strike but was surprised to find the Revenant swinging a clawed fist at him. It struck him on the side of the head, rattling his skull within his helmet, sending Kain staggering backward. The fire reminded him of its violent presence, making Kain's back painfully hot again.
Caught between the two dangers, Kain hesitated. The Revenant did not, heedless of the immense danger the fire posed, throwing its body awkwardly at Kain. Without thinking, acting only on instinct, Kain flexed his knees and Jumped.
It was not a high Jump, only enough to ride the busy currents of hot air upward and out of the way. Confused, the Revenant stumbled too far forward and was immediately engulfed in fire, its terrible cries of pain abruptly lost to the flame's greedy roar.
Kain landed soundly next to Rosa, falling to his knees beside her. "Rosa?!" he called, shaking her shoulder. When she did not respond, he rolled her over, finding her not conscious, her eyes rolled up into her head. He yanked off his gauntlets, then, with shaking hands, felt Rosa's neck for a pulse, and watched her chest for breathing.
When neither came, panic began to set in, making him tremble now, as he frantically dug through Rosa's bag, desperate for any remaining Potion, hoping against hope that she had saved at least one. When his fingers finally closed around a cool glass bottle, he murmured a prayer of thanks.
Meanwhile, the dirt below Rosa began blooming red, as she continued to bleed from her neck, back and shoulder wounds. Kain scrambled to uncork the Potion. He propped up her head, then carefully opened her mouth. Trying to be gentle but struggling with his shaking hands, he tipped the Potion over, sloshing its liquid contents into her slack mouth. Then, Kain waited, holding his breath, praying to anyone who might be listening.
Please... he pleaded.
Rosa sputtered suddenly, filling Kain's heart with joy and relief, then coughed wetly. Kain hurried to kneel behind her, arms under her shoulders, propping her up off the ground. She wheezed, then seemed to catch her breath. From his vantage point, illuminated by the orange glow of the fire behind them, Kain now saw her back. Both the fabric of her tunic and the skin below had been shredded to ribbons, so bloody that the remaining fabric and strips of skin were soaked through and clinging. Rosa moaned with pain, doubling over on herself.
"You need to Cure yourself," Kain said, circling around to her front, taking her shaking hands in his. "Rosa, look at me. You need to do this."
Her eyes were wild with pain, unfocused and blurry. She struggled to concentrate on him, her skin pale and damp, her lips white and thin, her whole body trembling in shock. But finally, she did, her eyes blinking hard to stay on him.
Kain felt the build of magic around her, then realized her mouth was moving soundlessly, casting too quietly for him to hear. As the Cure spell rippled through her, Kain watched as the blood flowing from her back gradually stopped, the open gashes reluctantly sealing closed.
"That's my girl," Kain murmured encouragingly, pulling her into his arms, Rosa going willingly. She collapsed against him; her body was suddenly boneless, unable to hold herself up any longer. He saw her eyes roll up again, and knew she swooned from sheer exhaustion, having spent all her stamina and magical reserves. He caught her and eased her carefully back down to the ground. He was relieved to see her chest steadily rising and falling with each breath.
Leaving Rosa to uneasily rest, Kain walked up and down the line of the fire barrier, considering it. He could attempt to use the Ice Rod but wondered at the wisdom of it. Rosa couldn't move yet, and at least the fire kept them protected from any wandering monsters from the nearby forest and provided heat and light. With any luck, it would also deter the undead from the mountain, if Kain and Rosa could be quiet enough not to tempt any again.
Kain set up the bedroll and carried Rosa to it, settling her as carefully as he could, mindful of her still-healing wounds. He attempted to clean the blood from her back and shoulder, but found with the dirty bandages, he only made things worse.
Lance in hand, Kai took a defensive position in front of Rosa, daring any monster to come close.
Alone except for his worries and anxieties, Kain waited.
Hours passed, the sun continuing to move toward the western horizon, threatening another night in this terrible place. Kain alternated between watching Rosa and the mountain before them, both with worried eyes, not sure what to expect from either.
He struggled most with his intense guilt, for failing to meet any of his many promises, to Cecil, to the King, to Rosa, and most importantly, to his own father, to be a good man. He couldn't protect Rosa the way she needed him to, the way Cecil had asked him to – the way Cecil would if he were here himself.
Kain watched Rosa's now steady breathing, remembering how delicate and frail her breath seemed in her chest when he thought she might not draw another. He knew, objectively, that this was the same woman who had stood between him and danger, protecting him from the onslaught of undead, wreathed in holy magic and fury. But now, watching her, the steady rise and fall of her chest, her uniform torn and bloody, her brow knit with tension as she uneasily slept – he found could not reconcile two conflicting images of Rosa.
Kain worried what was next to come; Cecil's waiting disappointment at Kain's failure to protect Rosa, from the dangers of the mountain and from his own greedy grasping. What would Rosa's life be like if she and Kain were together? Could he ever truly protect her, even if they were on the same missions? And how different her life might be if she were with Cecil instead, who could elevate her to Queen, keeping her safe and protected within the might of Baron. What could Kain ever offer that wouldn't pale in comparison?
How you feel right now might not be how you feel when we step off this mountain, Rosa had told him, knowing Kain's conflicted heart better than he realized.
Eventually, finally, miraculously, Rosa stirred, groaning as she did. Kain went to her, watching her with concern until she opened her eyes.
"I feel like hell," she said, her voice hoarse, but the sound of it was a balm to Kain's worry.
"You look like hell too," Kain remarked, gesturing to her back. "But you're alive," he added, grinning despite himself.
Rosa, seeing his expression, smiled herself. "I guess we both are."
In the distance, on the other side of the fire barrier, a familiar voice called out, "Rosa! Kain!"
"Cecil!?" Rosa and Kain exclaimed at the same time, looking at each other in stunned surprise, Kain's heart skipping a beat. Rosa scrambled to get the Ice Rod from the bag, but Kain's hand on her wrist stopped her. She looked up at him, confused.
"When the barrier comes down," Kain said softly, "Cecil will be there waiting for you." Kain hesitated as he looked over her; she still looked so fragile, pale from her blood loss, still magically drained and spent. His heart twisted in his chest, with guilt for how he didn't protect her, regret for his own selfishness, and in fear of what he was about to do. "You should go to him."
"What?!" Rosa asked, sharp in disbelief.
"You're right," Kain continued, trying not to let his emotion bleed into his words, but sounding strangled, nevertheless. "I'm stepping off this mountain and my feelings have changed. Be with Cecil. He's the better man for you."
"Rosa!" Cecil shouted over the flames, his desperation and want like a knife to Kain's guts.
"Don't do this to me," Rosa pleaded, her eyes filling with tears. "Kain, please. I love you."
"You love him too," Kain insisted, trying to ignore the pain in her voice, closing his eyes so he didn't have to look at her. "And so do I," Kain admitted, finally putting oxygen to the secret he'd carried with him from the day he'd met Cecil. "This is what's best for all of us," he said, opening his eyes again, blinking away his own tears.
"I'm picking you, why can't you pick me?" Rosa demanded, crying openly now. "For once, pick me."
"KAIN!" Cecil shouted, eliminating any further doubt Kain had about his decision.
Kain took the Ice Rod from the bag, pushing it into Rosa's hands. "Use it."
"Don't..." Rosa begged, full of anguish.
"Use it!" Kain yelled, surprised by the sudden surge of anger, deep within him. Why was she making this harder than it had to be?
Startled, Rosa jumped back, her sorrow and despair quicky replaced with her own anger; her brow furrowed, her mouth creased in a thin frown. "I hope you remember this is what you wanted," she said, the words tight in her throat as she pointed the Ice Rod at the fire barrier.
A Blizzard spell exploded around the fire, effectively dousing it, sending drifting smoke up into the sky.
On the other side stood Cecil and several Red Wings soldiers behind him. The visor of Cecil's helm was pushed back, revealing his face and his wide-eyed relief. "You're both safe!" he cried out in joy. He started toward Rosa, startling her as he engulfed her in a sudden embrace. "When I thought you might be..." Cecil hesitated, unable to finish the dreadful thought. "There are so many things I regret not saying, not doing, not telling you..."
"Cecil, I..." Rosa started to say, but Cecil cut her off as he kissed her, mistaking the tears on her cheeks for relief and joy. The Red Wings soldiers cheered behind them, and Kain knew this was the start of their fairy tale romance, made bigger and grander as the tale of their tender reunion spread through Baron.
This was both what he wanted and dreaded, Kain realized, paralyzed by both sides of his selfish heart. Kain looked aside, unable to bear the sight of them together any longer.
Unfortunately for Kain, it would be the first of many.