3 months later
"Oh my god Case so you're like huge now?", Ashleigh says. "I wish I was there".
"Noooo", I object with a laugh. "Ash you can't be huge at 20 weeks. I'm just noticing a bump the past few weeks or so. What they say about popping over night is actually kinda true".
I'm at my parents house in Chicago right now, packing a bag so I can drive with Rusty back to Cyprus to get the rest of my things.
Admittedly, I'd been kind of stupid last spring and had just wanted to get out of there and back to Chicago so I could schedule an abortion. But… of course that's not what happened.
I'd tried to go to the appointment, say goodbye to this nightmare. Rusty had even gone with me got support and to drive me home after. My mom offered but she ended up having a big thing at work come up on the day, and as it happened Rusty was actually much more comforting. He knew the situation well, and he didn't judge me for not being able to go through with it. I was really thankful for him that day.
He hadn't tried to change my mind when I ran out of the clinic when they did a preliminary ultrasound and I got to see it again, the baby. I was 8 weeks at that point and I actually saw what sort of looked like a baby. I mean, in Cyprus when I saw the baby it was so early that it just looked like a bean. But… when I laid there and saw that it actually looked like a baby, that it grew from the last time I saw it, I just couldn't do it. I started to cry and ran out into the waiting room, grabbed a confused Rusty and left.
Rusty didn't even ask me what happened until we got back home. I was too busy silently crying all the way home. I looked out the window at the familiar sights from my childhood while I thought about raising a baby here by myself.
So… I was stuck with the baby. But it wasn't all bad, in fact I was getting used to it. And I should stop calling it an it now that I knew it was a girl. At my appointment a few days ago they'd asked if I wanted to know the gender and of course I did. I was so excited when they told me it was a girl, it just seemed all the more real. And I had secretly hoped it would be a girl. I really felt like since I found out she's a she I can bond with her even better. Even though she's not gonna be here for a while.
"I can't believe it's a girl!", Ash gushes. "This is so awesome Case, we can dress her up in so many cute outfits!"
"Yeah Ash", I laugh sarcastically. "I took one for the team and got pregnant just so we can dress her in cute outfits".
"And I love you for it", Ash laughs. "Also we can still do the friends raising a baby situation if you're up for it".
"I love you for that Ash. But… I think this is something I have to deal with. I'm the one responsible for this… well along with Cappie".
"That's not a name I've heard lately", Ash says cautiously. "You're going back to Cyprus, does that make you think of him?"
I wanted to tell Ash that actually everything made me think of him, this was not a new development in my life, it's just how it was. Every time I thought about what was growing in my uterus I felt a twang of guilt and sadness.
"No… not really. Well I guess a bit since I have to worry about running into him. If only the baby had waited like one more week to start showing", I sigh and look in the mirror, lifting up my top to look at my small bump.
"If he sees you do you think he'll know you're pregnant?", Ashleigh asks.
"I don't know, at this point it could just pass for bloating or weight I've put on", i shrug. "But… people might also be able to tell, I don't know".
"Just go with the put on weight thing", Ash suggests. "Like freshman fifteen but after you've already graduated".
I laugh then.
"Okay Ash, that's my story if anyone asks".
"Well good luck Case. I'm gonna try to book a flight one weekend soon and come to Chicago! Even though we're not gonna raise her together, I'm still her godmother and I've gotta see your bump", Ash says.
"Aw that would be so awesome. You have no idea how boring it is here", I say and sit on my bed which creaks as soon as my body weight hits it. This bed, and really my whole childhood bedroom, felt really small now that I was 22. "Ash I still have Hello Kitty posters on my wall, it's like a time machine back to bra stuffing days".
"Do a room makeover Case!", Ashleigh laughs then.
"I'm going to, I've gotta get a corner ready for the baby, a crib and changing table and stuff. It's gonna be crowded but at least I have somewhere to stay with her", I sigh. "Even if my parents hover over me everyday here".
"I'm sorry", Ash says sadly. "But at least they'll be there to help you with the baby when she's born".
"You're right. There's so many things I still have to get for her, and my mom knows better than me, so we're gonna go shopping. Thank god I've had this reception job at her office so I can pay for stuff", I say.
"Good for you Case. I know you can do this!", Ashleigh motivates me.
"Love you Ash! Let's talk when I get to Cyprus, I'll let you know if Rebecca is turning ZBZ into Nazi Germany yet when I get there", I joke and me and Ash laugh.
"Fingers crossed being in love will soften her a bit", Ash says referring to her relationship with Evan.
"Yeah hopefully", I laugh.
"Case?"
"Yeah?", I say cautiously, worried she's going to bring up Cappie.
Her and Rusty were both pretty mad at me when I told them I wasn't going to tell Cappie. Especially Rusty. Ashleigh got over it but Rusty still barely talks to me and it makes me sad. I know Cappie is his friend but I wish he could understand that I just didn't want to be hurt any further. Telling Cappie wouldn't change anything. I'd still be here raising her, and I'd probably be alone, since Cappie isn't going to leave Cyprus anytime soon and I had to be here, in Chicago.
"If you do see Cappie, promise me you'll give him a piece of your mind? For me, at least. So he knows what he's missing out on", She says and I smile.
"Maybe I will. I'd have to gather the courage to do it and that's only if I run into him", I say.
"You can do it Casey, you already have the courage, I know you do", She says softly.
"I'll let you know what happens Ash", I smirk. "Talk to you later, love you!"
"Love you".
I hang up then and go back to zipping up my suitcase. We had to leave in a few minutes and I knew the car ride would probably be less than a fun little sibling road trip. Rusty had been icing me out for weeks.
Once my bag is packed I start to carry it downstairs. It was heavy. What can I say? I'm a girl, and a major overpacker.
"Here I got it. You shouldn't be carrying that Case", I hear him and I didn't even realize he was up here. He speaks coldly to me, but I appreciate that he's being kind to me at least.
I look back to see him.
"Thanks Rusty", I give him a small smile.
"I'm just doing it for the baby Case", He mumbles.
It was the first time he'd spoken to me in a while and I didn't want it to be the last. I wanted him to talk to me again. I never thought that I would miss him so much even though he was here in the same house.
Rusty carries my bag down the stairs. Just barely, if I'm being honest. He only weighs a bit more than me. And probably not much more now that I've gained a bit of weight from the baby.
I walk down the stairs as Rusty starts to carry the bags to the car.
"Take care of yourself honey", my mom hugs me.
"I'll be fine mom, I'll be back in two days", I give her a smile.
"Okay, eat healthy when you're gone. Babies need healthy food to grow".
"I will mom", I laugh. "Tell dad I say goodbye".
My dad was at work right now, but he'd already told me last night that if I need him to he can still give Cappie a piece of his mind. I still politely declined his offer.
"I will", Mom smiles and Rusty comes back inside to say goodbye too. "Now Russell, make sure you be nice to your sister".
"I am nice", Rusty shrugs.
"I know you are, but I miss seeing you two get along, you really got close the past few years, and Casey needs you right now".
"But mom, she's keeping one of my best friends in the dark about being a father. And I just… I'm stuck in the middle! Because I want to tell Cappie", Rusty says, upset, and he looks at me.
"I know, I'm sorry Rusty. But… this is the way it's gonna be, okay? It's not your secret to tell", I say to him.
"Whatever", Rusty shakes his head. "Let's just get going Case".
So we do. And the awkward car ride commences.
Rusty offers to drive first which I'm thankful for, because I can already feel the anxiety starting to boil up within me. As much as I didn't really want to be in Chicago back at my childhood house, at least it was safe. I wasn't sure I was ready to face everything and everyone back at Cyprus. Especially now that I looked slightly pregnant. I was wearing a really flowy dress and had packed airy, large tops and dresses in hopes that they would hide my pregnancy. I'd even had to buy jeans a size and a half up the other day because for the first time since those two lines popped up, I couldn't button my jeans. And everything became very real. This wasn't just a cruel joke, this was an actual baby that was growing everyday.
"Casey?", Rusty breaks my train of anxious thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"If you see Cappie, don't you think… don't you think he might suspect?"
"Well I've already thought of that, and that's why I've packed really baggy stuff. Not to mention, I probably won't even see him anyways. I doubt he'll seek me out. He thinks I'm going to GW and… he didn't seem to care much to say goodbye in the spring", I say, a twinge of anger in my voice.
"If I talk to him… I know I can convince him to talk to you Case", Rusty says to me.
"Rusty…", I sigh. "You shouldn't have to convince him. If he wanted to, he would. And he obviously doesn't care much. In fact, knowing Cappie he's probably spent all summer chasing after other girls".
"I know he cares, Case", Rusty says. "You don't know him like I do".
"Yes I do Rusty", I argue. "And even if he still cares, he's doing a really bad job of showing it".
"But if he knew about the baby! If he knew he would be there for you, one hundred percent", Rusty says, and looks over to me.
I don't say anything now, I just think.
"I don't know if he would", I say quietly. "And why take the chance? I don't want him to come around and treat me well just because I'm pregnant".
"You should take the chance because it would mean you could make a real family Case", Rusty says, intently. "At least do it for the baby".
"Rusty me and her are a family", I put my hand against my belly. "And I know it doesn't seem like it to you but… you, mom and dad and me… we're her family".
"But so is Cappie", Rusty still stands his ground.
"Genetically, yes", I sigh. "But otherwise… you knows. He wouldn't want this. I know him. I'm doing him a favour not telling him".
"So you think just because he loves KT and doesn't want to graduate yet that he would just abandon his daughter?"
"It would just be too much for him Rusty, I know him even better than you, and I know that he… he's better off at CRU without the weight of this", I say, looking out the window now.
"You have to know that's not true", Rusty argues still.
"Well… we'll see. You'll see him tonight… you tell me if he's matured. If he can handle this. Or if he even still remembers my name", I say and tears threaten to strain my voice. "I don't… I can't talk about this anymore".
I really don't want to cry today, not in front of Rusty.
So I put the radio on and some stupid pop song starts playing but neither me nor Rusty dare to change the station. We just sit in our pain, in our disagreement of each other's choices and we look at the highway around us, the cars quickly passing us by as we make our way out of Chicago.
"Well Case after about 50 bathroom stops we're almost there", Rusty sighs, annoyed.
"Sorry that I have a baby inside me who makes me have to pee every hour", I roll my eyes at him. "You should try it sometime, it's no picnic".
"It's fine", Rusty says, softer now. "At least you didn't throw up in the car".
"Thank god. I would've if you'd have brought those gross dried meat sticks you and the KTs always eat", I say, my face contouring into disgust just by the thought of it. "If I even picture one I want to hurl".
"I kept the snacks bland so the car would be okay for you", Rusty says from the passenger seat, and I turn off onto the exit for CRU.
"Well", I say. "You ready Rus?"
"Probably more ready to be here than you", Rusty scoffs.
"Well as long as I wear loose clothing, stay away from parties and strip clubs, Doblers, and the beer section in the grocery store, I'll be fine", I say sarcastically alluding to places Cappie could be.
"Whatever Case. You're making a big mistake… but… it's yours to make", He shakes his head.
"Yes it is", I say matter of fact, thankful he finally gets that it's my life and my baby's life and I get the final say.
When we reach Rusty's apartment building we start to get the suitcases out of the car. Rusty had way more than me because he was staying the year.
"You can go upstairs, I'll get the bags", Rusty offers.
"I can still roll stuff Rus", I say, wanting to be independent. "And you have an elevator here. So I'm good".
I start to roll my suitcase into the building when I bump into someone.
"Oh I'm sor-"
I realize who it is then. Dale.
"Oh my god", he moves his glasses up his nose, looking flustered. "I knew junior year would be my year".
"What?", I say.
"Nothing", he shakes his head. "It's good to see you Casey".
His eyes then shift down to my stomach and by reflex I put my hands on my waist, trying to hide it.
His eyes go wide, and then he looks back up at my face.
"I'm just… gonna bring my suitcase upstairs", I smile awkwardly.
"I'll go help Rusty", Dale says. "I saw you guys pull in from the window. It's good to have you here in our apartment Casey".
Although it's a little weird he's been staring out the window looking for us, I welcome the kindness Dale usually offers me, even if it's laced with awkward comments.
"Thanks Dale", I say. "I appreciate you letting me stay, it'll only be for two nights".
"Stay as long as you like… seriously", He looks at me like a love sick puppy.
I sort of knew about his crush. But he wouldn't still have it once he finds out I'm pregnant. Out of wedlock… Something Dale would not approve of.
"That's so kind, thanks Dale", I give him one last smile before moving towards the elevator with my pink suitcase.
Once I get upstairs I use the key Rusty had given me and get inside. I look at the couch, well futon, where I'll be sleeping.
Well… here I am. Back in Cyprus.
Even with the stressful changes I was going through I felt like a weight had been lifted off. Because I truly felt like Cyprus was my home. And I was finally back where I felt like I belonged. Where it really did feel more like home than the place I grew up. I felt at ease. I knew it wouldn't last for long though.
I frown with a sigh and slump down on the couch, tired from the day, physically and emotionally.
Well… get ready for judgment, awkwardness, and avoiding Cappie at all costs, I think to myself.
A/N: hi guys!! don't worry Cappie is going to find out in the next chapter. I know it's been like 7 chapters now haha. but I love drama! but don't worry, this is a ship fic, so there will be lots of romance and sweetness.