AN: This is the last of the chapters I've previously posted and now edited so now I'll be updating soon again, once I start writing it all up and getting things posted. Hope y'all like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or it's characters. All I own is my ideas.
Chapter Three: Family Dinners
Clare followed Adam up the stairs, her bags in tow behind her. Suddenly it felt like someone punched her in the gut and she stopped right at the top of the stairs. This caused Adam to stop and turn back to look at Clare and Drew to stop dead in his tracks, nearly bumping into Clare. Clare took in a few short, deep breaths and held tightly to the railing. "I can't breathe." she spoke quietly, her voice wavering.
The Torres brothers looked back and forth between each other and Clare as she struggled to catch, to calm, her breath. After a moment the pair of boys moved Clare's luggage and guided her to sit on the top step. Adam sat beside her, taking her hand in his. "Clare it's okay." he replied, rubbing circles against her back.
Clare turned to look at him, "Okay? How is any of this okay Adam?" she exclaimed, dropping her hand from his grasp and waving it around wildly. "This isn't okay. None of this is remotely okay. I'm sixteen. I've barely started my junior year and I'm pregnant. How could I let this happen?" she bemoaned, covering her face with her hands as she took in a shallow breath, feeling hot tears pricking at her eyes. "My parents hate me. Dad can't even look at me anymore and Mom...she took it better than him at least? But neither of them want to be associated with me now that I'm...having a baby. They just turned their backs on me, like that." Clare snaps her fingers together, looking at her best friend with a confused and hurt expression, her eyebrows creased together. "How could they do that? Give me that kind of ultimatum? I knew they wouldn't take it well but...Daddy just took my keys and told me no daughter of his would be raising a child out of wedlock." Clare paused, biting her lip. All her emotions were bubbling below the surface and she couldn't bear to think of what might happen.
"Harsh." Drew commented, looking at Clare with some sort of pity in his eyes. He didn't know her well enough to call the girl a friend, but she was his brother's best friend in the whole world and that made Clare okay in his books. But the older teen was still processing everything he just heard. All he'd really known about Clare was that she came from a super Catholic home, had an older sister in some African country building schools or something, that she was in all the smart classes, and that she was dating Eli.
Clare turned to face Drew and just shrugged his comment off, but Adam on the other hand was glaring at his brother. Adam shook his head, turning his attention back to Clare who he then asked, "What about Eli?"
Clare wiped her eyes and sighed, "He took it about as well as my parents did. But his suggestion was an abortion." Clare replied, a venomous tone to her voice as she said the word. Turning her attention to Adam she spoke again, "He just...kept calling the baby a problem. A problem that we had to deal with. That we could deal with before my parents even got home." Clare explained, glancing down at her hands once more. Adam and Drew shared an angry look, but said nothing as the curly haired girl continued to tell them what had happened. "He got so...frustrated, Adam. He was mad and irate. Did he expect me to be so willing to get an abortion? He knows my beliefs! He knew my beliefs when we were dating...which I guess we're not anymore. Why would it be so hard to talk it over? But his first suggestion was to get the "problem" fixed. He didn't even want to talk about it. And when I told him I didn't...couldn't go through with an abortion, not even because of my beliefs but because of my feelings and everything, he practically stormed out. He wants nothing to do with me or this baby. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? I can't do this alone. I don't even know what I want. Adam I'm so scared. I'm so scared that I'm making the wrong choice. That I'm losing my parents, Eli, everyone. What will people think? How can I do this alone? How could the people I love most just drop me like that?" Clare rants, practically sobbing as she shakes her head. Her hands had begun to shake while she was talking, and her leg was bouncing on the step. She seemed anxious and sad while she spoke.
"That's not true. You're not losing everyone. You'll always have me." Adam replied, leaning over and wrapping his arms around Clare in a tight embrace as the girl cried on his shoulder. "Give your parents time, Clare. I'm sure...well, I hope, they'll come around. I don't know, but I don't see them being mad at you forever. Though given what you've told me, the Edwards family seems to be full of people who can hold a grudge." the boy teased, gently nudging Clare. He hoped the comment would help lighten the mood. He couldn't stand to see his best friend upset. And as worried he was for Clare, he was angry at Eli for doing what he'd done. Leaving Clare just like that. It didn't sound like the Eli Adam was best friends with. In fact, it didn't sound like anyone Adam would want to be friends with. "And did you see my mom? She loves you! I'm sure she's thinking of adopting you into the family already. So you have us. Mom, Dad, Drew, and I."
"Yeah, Clare. I mean, Adam's always going on about his best friend so I feel like you already live here. It shouldn't be so hard to get used to you actually living here." Drew comments, offering the girl a grin which she returns with a small smile of her own.
"I'm warning you now, Clare, get ready to be waiting for hours for the bathroom. Drew takes longer than a girl to get ready in the mornings." Adam says with a laugh.
"Hey!" Drew exclaims. "Do you think these good looks come naturally? It takes time to get my hair to look like this." Drew says, pointing to his head with a proud smirk.
Adam makes a face, but still smiles. "Yeah, hate to break it to you bro, but it could use some work." At that comment, Clare cracks a smile and laughs a little and then the Torres brothers feel a little better. Turning his attention back to his best friend, Adam stands up and holds out a hand for her. "Ready to see your new room?"
Clare nods halfheartedly offering a small smile and takes her friends hand as she stands back up. She puts a hand on her luggage and walks with Adam down the hallway to the guest room. She'd been in the Torres house enough times, but had never stayed over night. Mostly because her mother and father wouldn't allow it. Even though Adam was her best friend, he was still a boy. But she'd been in the guest room before. It was at the end of the hall, closer to Drew's room and the bathroom. She couldn't say she really remembered it much, though. Most of her time at the Torres house was spent either in the basement or the kitchen working on a project, homework, or watching tv.
Adam opened the door to the guest room and Clare walked in, glancing around the room. There was a small closet in one corner and a gray bed frame that matched the nightstand and dresser. It looked neutral, but still neat, and at least it was a bed and a place to sleep. Clare couldn't find anything to complain about. She was more than thankful to Mrs. Torres for letting her stay in the house. "It looks cozy." Clare commented, going to sit on the bed and looking back at the Torres brothers in the doorway.
"Mom wanted to do more with it but never got around to it. Maybe she'll let you decorate it or something." Adam said with a small shrug as he looked around. Glancing at the two bags, purse, and backpack Clare had with her Adam raised an eyebrow, "Do you need some help unpacking?" he offered with a bright smile.
Clare shook her head, "No thanks. I just grabbed the essentials, really. I should be fine unpacking myself. Actually, I think I'd like to do that now if you two don't mind." Clare asked, tilting her head to the side and looking at the brothers. They stood there for a moment in the doorway before nodding their head, apologizing, and walking away from the room. Clare followed them to the door and glanced around before shutting it. She turned around and leaned against the door, looking at the room.
It was much different than her room at home, and didn't really feel like home. In fact, the room was so bare it reminded Clare of a hotel bedroom than a guest room in a house. It felt too clean and unused, though the only guest bedrooms she'd stayed in before were at her mother's parent's house and they were just old bedrooms of their children slightly remodeled. Clare always felt it weird to be staying in the bedroom her mom had when she was a kid, since the walls and stuff hadn't changed much over the years. But this was different. The girl stared at the walls for a long time, trying to convince herself that they felt like home. Because they were. Or would be, technically speaking she still had to unpack.
Maybe that's why it was feeling weird.
Clare walked back to the bed and heaved the larger bag onto the bed, unzipping it and looking inside. She took out a picture frame that sat on top and placed it on the nightstand. It was a picture of her and her family during one of the Easter Egg hunts at her cousin's house. They looked so happy that Clare didn't want to leave it behind at the house. As angry and hurt as she was by her parents choices, and her sister's vanishing act, she wanted to remember the good times and everything. Next Clare unpacked her clothes, which for now all went into the empty dresser drawers. She would hang what needed to go in the closet later. Right now Clare just wanted to get the basics done and unpacked so the room felt a little more homey to her.
After almost an hour Clare had everything she packed up set up around the room. School books were on the shelf of the nightstand, pictures on the various spaces around the room, and all her clothes put away. She sat back down on the bed and closed her eyes for a minute.
"Kids! Dinner's ready!"
Clare jumps up from the bed and opens the door, walking down the stairs behind Adam and Drew to greet Mrs. Torres in the kitchen.
"Smells good mom." Adam comments.
"I'm starved." Drew says, taking a seat at the set table and beginning to scoop out servings for himself.
Clare stood awkwardly at the table for a moment before taking an empty seat and sitting down. "Where's Mr. Torres?" she asks, as Drew passed her the bread.
"Omar had to work late at the office. But don't worry, I called him while I was making dinner and he's on board with everything. Of course we'll have to sit down and discuss everything once he gets home. Possibly tomorrow, since it's Sunday and he's off. But for now you should know you'll be taking on a part of the household chores with Adam and Drew, and your curfew is ten on school nights and eleven on weekends, just like Adam. Like I said, we'll need to discuss things more in depth when Omar gets home to figure out everything else, but you're welcome to stay with us Clare for as long as you need." Audra explains, helping herself to some of the food and then passing dishes down the table.
Clare nods silently appreciative of the gesture while Adam just looks over at Clare with a smirk that screams 'I told you so'. Clare shakes her head at him and goes back to eating her meal. Though she wasn't as hungry as she thought she was when she sat down, what she went through today seemed to drain her emotionally and affect how she was feeling. So she kindly ate what she could and then waited for everyone else to be done with their plates.
"Mrs. Torres, I was wondering, I was going to go to Mr. Simpson's house tonight. His daughter's in town with her husband and I haven't seen them in a long while. If it's okay, I could probably get him or his wife to drive me back later." Clare asked. Drew turned his head to her with his mouth open, confused as to why she was going to Principal Simpson's house no doubt.
Audra just smiles and nods her head, "Of course that's fine Clare. Just be home by curfew and call if you'll be late or need a ride. Drew, when you finish eating would you mind driving Clare over?"
As Drew nods his head, finishing up what's left on his plate. Clare shakes her head, "Oh, no it's not a problem. Drew doesn't need to drive me, I can walk." she explains. She didn't want to bother Drew and wasn't sure how he would feel having to drive Clare over to Mr. Simpson's.
Audra looks at Clare sternly. "It's getting dark outside. Drew can drive you, sweetheart. It's not a problem." she says as she goes back to eating her meal, signaling the discussion is over.
Clare leans back in her chair and just shrugs her shoulder, seeing no need to fight with the woman. When Drew finishes he stands up from the table and grabs the keys from the kitchen counter. Clare waves goodbye and follows the elder Torres out the front door and down to Mrs. Torres' car. Once inside Clare tells Drew the address and sits back as he pulls out of the driveway.
"So...how do you know Mr. Simpson's daughter? I didn't even know he had a daughter!" Drew asks, glancing at Clare out of the corner of his eyes as he drives toward the address Clare told him.
"Emma used to know Darcy. They were...friends? Friendly is maybe a better way to put it. There was, uh, definitely some drama involved... But, anyway, Emma was best friends with Manny who was a really good friend to Darcy. And, actually Emma wound up marrying Spinner, who used to date Darcy. I haven't seen them in a long time, not since after their wedding. So I'm excited to go see them." Clare explains, a hand on her stomach as she looks down in anticipation. She's unsure if she should mention it tonight to Mr. Simpson, knowing that Emma and Spinner will both be there. Would it be better to get it over with and explain it to him in a non-school setting that she's pregnant now or wait a while? She wasn't sure. But she knew she wouldn't be telling Mr. Simpson if Connor was going to be there too. That was not a conversation Clare wanted to have, especially with Connor.
Drew keeps quiet for the rest of the drive and eventually pulls up in front of the Simpson-Nelson house within a few minutes. Clare hops out of the car, thanking Drew and waving goodbye before walking up the steps.
"Baby Edwards!" she's greeted by the blonde girl before she can even ring the doorbell. "I saw you pulling up. Is that your boyfriend Dad told me about? Eli?" Emma asks as she pulls Clare in for a hug and then walks her into the house, closing the door behind her.
Clare bites her lip and shakes her head. "Actually that's Drew. He's my best friend Adam's older brother." she explained, walking into the kitchen with Emma to greet Mr. Simpson, his wife, their son Jack, and Spinner. "Hi everyone! I'm glad you called and told me you were coming to visit. It's been forever." Clare says, walking over to Spinner and giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek and taking a seat at the table beside him. Everyone greets Clare with smiles and a wave. "So how long are you guys in town for?" she asks, turning her attention back to Emma.
"Well, actually it all depends on how my interview tomorrow goes." Emma says with a bright smile. Mr. Simpson seems to be grinning from ear to ear and so does Mrs. Nelson, so Clare takes it they've already been told the news.
"You know I own The Dot now, technically I share it with Pete. He owns the club completely, but last year we bought The Dot and he's been managing it from site while I come in every once in a while and help out. Em's got an interview tomorrow and if she gets the job we might be moving back to town for good." Spinner explains, smiling over at Emma.
"Oh my God, that's so exciting! I'm so happy for you guys." Clare squeals with a bright, giddy smile. She'd known Spinner when he was dating Darcy, though not too well, but she'd seen him around a lot and gotten to know him better over the years still. And with Emma having been friends with Darcy, at least in some capacity, Clare had known her too. "You think you can convince Darcy to move back from Africa?" she asks, a little bit teasing but also somewhat serious. It was a day like the one she was having that made Clare really miss her older sister being close to home. They weren't amazingly close, but Clare knew Darcy would have been there for her during what she was going through now.
Spinner laughs and so does Emma, but Emma looks at Clare a little concerned. "So how are things with you? You're a junior now, right?" the blonde asks.
"Yeah, Mr. S tells us you're dating some guy named Eli? When do I get to meet him and make sure he's not bad news?" Spinner asks, raising an eyebrow at Clare. Emma nudges him gently with her elbow and gives him a look.
"Yeah, I'm a junior. I'm taking all APs, and I'm in grade 12 AP english and grade 12 AP science too." Clare explains with pride. She'd always been best when it came to school, and proud of it too. Emma and Spinner nod along as she talks. Mr. Simpson's sitting at the table too, half listening as he focuses on Jack playing in the other room. Mrs. Nelson is working on getting dessert ready for everyone. Clare continues with a small shrug, "But actually Eli and I kinda...broke up. Today." she admits, looking down at the table.
"Oh no! What happened?" Emma asks, reaching over to hold Clare's hand with a comforting smile on her face.
"What did he do? Should I go beat him up or something?" Spinner asks, looking at Clare with worried eyes. He's only half serious, but he makes a note to ask Mr. S more about this Eli kid later once Clare's gone home.
Shaking her head a little too quickly Clare nearly shouts, "No!" After a moment she's calmed down. "No, I...you don't need to do that."
"Clare is everything alright?" Mrs. Nelson asks, setting a bowl of fruit and ice cream down on the table.
"Yes, everything's fine! Why would you ask that?" Clare asks, serving herself some of the fruit, but after taking a bite of a strawberry she feels a little sick and pushes the plate away from her. Before anyone can say anything else Clare stands up from the table. "I actually should be heading out now. I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer." Clare apologizes, going to hug and kiss Spinner and Emma goodbye. "Make sure you guys tell me what happens." she says. Hugging Mrs. Nelson goodbye Clare thanks her. "Tell Connor I said hi. And I'll see you at school on Monday Mr. Simpson!" she says and waves goodbye, walking out the door before anyone can ask her anything else.
As soon as she's out of the house Clare feels awful. She knows she shouldn't have acted the way she did, but in the moment she was so torn on telling them all the truth or keeping her secret just a little while longer. Clare walks down the street and arrives at the playground she used to visit as a kid. It's empty now, but she takes a seat on the swing, rocking herself back and forth. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." Clare admonishes herself, shaking her head as she rocks back and forth in the sand. It was late, and dark, but all Clare could pay attention to was how guilty she was feeling. Guilty for running out of the Simpson-Nelson home like that, for burdening the Torres family by staying with them. For her parents, for Eli. Too many thoughts were racing through her mind.
Was she being selfish?
Could she even raise a child on her own?
What was she thinking? Dragging Adam and the Torres family into this mess?
Clare got up from the swings and started pacing around the playground, thinking out loud. "I'm sixteen, I can't do this on my own. But I'm not on my own, I have Adam and Drew and the Torres'. Is that fair though? I mean, Adam's my best friend, and Eli's. But Drew and Audra and Omar? They don't deserve to have me in their house, taking up space and everything. Oh God, and Eli. What am I going to do at school on Monday? I'll have to explain to all my friends that Eli and I aren' together anymore. How am I supposed to do that? I can't tell them why! I can't tell them I'm pregnant. What would they say? Oh my God, oh my God." Clare exclaims, stomping her feet on the ground as she takes a seat on a bench off to the side in the playground. "I'm losing it. I don't even know what I'm going to do. Or say. I want this baby. Is that crazy? Is it crazy to think I want to raise this child on my own? At sixteen? Can I even do that on my own? I mean, without my parents support. Or even Eli. Eli...I can't believe he left me. I don't know how I'm going to do this without him." Clare groans, falling back on the bench, laying down, continuing her monologue. "And I was so rude, running out of there tonight. What do they think is wrong with me? I mean, obviously I need to apologize to them. I feel awful. But I don't think I could have stayed there any longer and talked without telling them what's really going on. And I don't think I'm ready to talk about what's really going on. I didn't even want to tell my parents, and look how that turned out. Maybe it's best to just keep it a secret until later. I won't be showing for a couple of months, right? I've got time to tell people. Right?" Clare asks, yawning the final question she asks to herself as her eyes close.
AN: I hope to have this updated within a week or two, and not let it fall to the back of my mind like it did before, unfortunately. I've got muse to keep writing the story so I don't see it being a problem. Hope you liked the chapter!
Thanks for reading, don't forget to review!