AN: Happy New Year, readers, depending on where you're at in the world! I'm posting this a little before my own New Year because I've been sitting on this chapter for a bit and wanted to get it out for you all now, instead of waiting to post it on the first of the year. I hope this chapter has been worth the wait for all of you, because I've been working hard to get a few chapters ahead of myself for this story so I can work on some other ideas that have been bouncing around my head. You can read more about that at the end of chapter author's note!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or it's characters, just this idea.

Warning, please note that this chapter has a mention of Clare's sister Darcy's past storylines that may be triggering to readers. While I don't go into any detail about those plots themselves and I stay with more backstory for Clare's past. If this may be something that triggers you, the section begins with "Going into the doctor's office is weird" and ends with "despite all the preventative measures you take."

Chapter Eight: Appointments and Arguments

The weight that's been lifted off of Clare's chest now that she's told her two best friends, now that Alli and Jenna know everything, it's immeasurable. She feels practically invincible, and she's confident that she can truly and truthfully get through it with everybody by her side. The Torres family, her own mother, Alli and Jenna. Sure, there are more people who need to know what's going on eventually, but Clare isn't going to tell them until there is something more concrete to tell.

It's the end of the second week of November when Clare's first appointment with the OBGYN that Audra set up comes up, but it's during school hours. Audra and Clare drop Adam and Drew off at the front of the school building and then they're driving off to the doctors office. Clare goes over everything in her head, both from what Audra told her and the research she'd done of the doctor herself. Clare was always the type to over prepare for just about anything and everything, including new doctors appointments. Despite Audra's assurance that Clare would love the doctor, as it was someone in the practice that Audra had been going to for years herself, Clare still needed to learn that for herself.

The looming grey office building built up the anxiety bubbling in Clare's chest, and she turns her gaze directly to her hands in her lap that she's been wringing nervously since the beginning of the car ride. Clare's bitten at her lip nervously so much the past couple of weeks that she's begun to leave a mark, and while she's acutely aware of this every time she glances in the mirror and sees the smaller darkened red spot on her lower lip she cannot stop the nervous habit either.

A sigh next to her turns Clare's attention away from her fidgets, while Audra places her hands atop Clare's and gives the teenager a reassuring smile. "Clare, it's going to be fine. I promise. I can come into the room if you'd like, or we can call your mother and she can be on a conference call with us while we're in there?" Audra's not sure how she can offer the teenager the best comfort, but she's hoping that she can offer some sort of solace to the younger girl in this moment.

Nodding her head Clare looks at Audra, "Can we call my mom together after the appointment? Maybe when we have all the news?"

"Of course we can, I told your parents when the appointment was in our emails." Audra explains, pulling back and looking at Clare.

Her face falls a bit, shaking her head as she can't help the tone of voice as she speaks, "So he knows?"

"Yes, he does." Audra answers. While her and Omar have known what's going on both from talking with Clare's parents as friends, and as Clare's guardians, she's also heard a lot of things happening from Clare's perspective too. "Don't worry, he knows that you'll answer him when you're ready."

"What if I'm never ready to talk to him again?" Clare replies, turning to look at Audra as she wipes at her eyes and sighs. "I mean it, Audra. He held me and Darcy to these high standards, everything he raised us to be...and he's been breaking those commandments he expected us to follow? How could he be so furious with me when he was going behind all of our backs to do worse things?" It's not the first time Clare's said this to anyone, even to Audra, but it's been on her mind a lot. She's talked it through with Adam, Alli and Jenna, and even written it into emails Darcy's left unanswered thus far, but still Clare has yet to find an answer.

While Clare's spoken to her mother a couple of times on the phone the past week and a half and has been keeping in touch through texting as well. She's sent a few email updates to her sister Darcy as well, but has yet to hear back from her, which isn't new but still stings especially when everything feels as though it's crumbling around Clare's life. She hasn't answered her father's phone calls, or read any of his emails or text messages yet. She's not ready to, given how angry he had been when they found out about Clare's pregnancy, for him to have been lying and cheating for years, Clare can't think about everything going on right then.

Audra gives Clare another smile and nods her head toward the door, "Let's go inside and get this over with and after we can go grab some lunch before I drop you back off at school for the rest of the day, okay?"

Taking in a deep breath, Clare turns back to look at the looming building again and nods her head once more. "Okay. I can do this." Clare whispers mainly to herself as she opens the car door and steps out of the Torres van before looking to Audra and walking into the building by her side.

Going into the doctor's office is weird, Clare can't remember ever going to the doctor's office without her mother save for twice.

The first time was shortly after Darcy's rape, when Clare still didn't know what was going on and Darcy was in the hospital after her attempt, Clare had overheard some things and had found her way to a local women's clinic. She didn't know what was going on with her sister, but wanted to talk to somebody who would listen to her and she knew better than to worry her parents further when they were already dealing with so much. She had gotten an appointment with a nurse at the clinic who had spoken with Clare and listened while Clare rambled worriedly about Darcy. It wasn't something Clare talked about with anybody else, because it was such a private matter for her older sister to handle on her own but it had affected Clare too.

The second time she'd gone back to the same women's clinic she'd gone to as a child after Alli had slept with Johnny their grade nine year. She'd had a long conversation with a nurse about getting herself on birth control and what everything might entail, and had decided to do it. With all that had happened with her friends and with her sister, Clare's own anxiety worried about herself. Even though she had no plans, at that time, to have sex with somebody, she wanted to be prepared just in case. So, that's why she'd gotten on birth control in the first place. Except, when it had come down to it, she'd gotten an infection and been on antibiotics and that had affected the pill's effectiveness. And the condom not being a clear effective preventative for pregnancy too.

Clare feels like she's literally the point zero one percent of every statistic that they tell you about when you're told about getting pregnant despite all the preventative measures you take.

Audra points Clare to a chair in the waiting room while she goes to the front desk to check them in for the appointment. Taking a seat, Clare looks around the room. There's a whole lot of different people in here, people ranging from different stages of pregnancy as well as someone who has a small child with them too. It's overwhelming and Clare doesn't know how else to feel, shaking her head she looks down at her feet and clicks her heels together, sighing as she counts in her head to calm herself down.

One, two, three, four. The number of people in the waiting room other than Clare and Audra.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine. The number of months in a typical pregnancy.

Ten, eleven, twelve. The number of grades in school.

She's about to continue with her counting and calming her breathing when Audra takes the seat beside her and places the doctor's form in Clare's lap. "I would have filled it out myself, but I don't know the answer to all the questions, Clare."

Clare nods her head politely smiling as she takes the pen off the clipboard and shrugs, "It's alright." she comments before beginning to fill everything out on the form, answering the typical doctors questions. There's a few specific questions about the early stages of pregnancy on the form as well that Clare's got to answer as well, filling them out and feeling bad that her stages of research has included them but she hasn't done so much as to actually do more in her life with them. In fact, she's not entirely sure how far along she is, though she figures that she can't be more than a month or two.

When she's done filling out the form Clare hands the paperwork back up front and she's almost automatically called back right into the office. Audra looks to Clare, but Clare shakes her head with a shrug of her shoulders. She knows she needs to do this bit alone. and told to change into one of the gowns. Immediately going into the room, Clare is handed a gown and instructed to put it on. She does so, folding her clothes down onto the spare chair on the seat and then she waits.

And waits, for what feels like a long period of time. She wishes she'd kept her phone in her hands when she put all of her things to the side. But now she knows the minute she goes to grab it the door will open and the doctor will come in.

And waits, still. She's doing her best to keep her eyes away from the clock on the wall. Instead her eyes are looking at everything else in the room. The diagrams and the charts talking about pregnancy, as if Clare hasn't done her own research already and her brain is filled with this information on top of her own school work.

Finally, the door opens and the doctor walks in. The woman looks like she's around her mother's age, and she holds out her hands to greet Clare. "Hi Clare. I'm Doctor Meredith Tyler, I'm sorry if you were waiting long."

Clare shakes the doctors hand back and smiles, "Oh, it's fine. I'm just nervous and I put my phone down and didn't want to pick it back up in case you came in and risk seeming rude and then I'd have to toss it and if it broke..." Clare bites her lip and makes a face, scrunching her nose and covering her face as she sighs. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling." she lets out a nervous laugh and shifts her position on the seat.

The doctor nods her head, taking a seat on the swivel stool and moving to Clare. "It's perfectly normal to feel nervous Clare. I have your chart right here, but I'm going to ask you some more questions before we get started if that's alright?"

"Of course."

Doctor Tyler is typing away, filling out the form on the sheet in front of her to make sure Clare's file is up to date with what's written on the information form in front of her. "When was the date of your last period? You said here that you're not sure, but could you maybe give me an estimation of time?"

"Oh, uh, maybe two...two months ago? I'm not sure. I'm usually pretty regular, but when exams and everything come up and stress I can get a bit on edge and my body tends to be off." Clare shrugs her shoulders as she speaks and sighs. "I think it's two months though. I'm sorry I can't be more precise. I'm usually better at these kinds of things, keeping track. I'm usually very very organized." Clare admits with a nod of her head.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Clare. Don't worry, I'm going to take some bloodwork, and I can try to do an ultrasound but it might be too early to see anything so don't get your hopes up for anything." Doctor Tyler explains with a reassuring smile on her face, nodding her head as she continues typing. "Have you been taking any medication recently? It says here that you were on a birth control pill."

"I stopped when I thought there was a chance I was pregnant." Clare nods her head. "But I take a multivitamin every day. Is that something I should have put down on the form?"

"That's good to know. Have you been taking anything for the baby's health? Like a prenatal vitamin or folic acid?"

"I looked into it, but I haven't gotten any yet. It's been a bit...it's been kind of hard, not the pregnancy, but the emotional stuff, and I haven't really had the opportunity to go out and get everything just yet." Clare admits, shaking her head.

"I'll say that you should definitely go and get something as soon as possible, today if you can. It's important to start taking these things as soon as possible. I see here you've got your emergency contacts listed here, that's good." Doctor Tyler gets up from her chair and washes her hands in the sink getting ready to draw blood. Walking back over to Clare, she smiles as she moves the sleeve of the gown up and begins to prep her arm. "Pregnancy can be hard, and while it's important to stay healthy with your body by doing exercise and taking vitamins is only part of the equation Clare. It's just as important for the baby that you stay healthy mentally, so you need to make sure that you have a good support system around you and make sure that you have someone that you can talk to about all of this."

Clare nods her head at the comment, "Yeah, thank you. I know. I've been all in my head about this. My boyfriend, my...ex-boyfriend, the...the father of the baby, when he found out it wasn't good. And I've been doing my best to avoid him since then, but I've got my friends I can talk to. My parents, well, my mom too. But she's out of town now, so I've got my best friend's mom as a stand in for now." Clare explains, doing her best to look away from her arm while the doctor takes the blood. Clare then holds the cotton ball in her arm while the doctor grabs some medical tape to put on it.

"I'll be right back, and we'll try to see if we can get an ultrasound done for you." Doctor Tyler smiles, patting Clare's arm lightly before leaving the room for a few moments.

It's a few minutes before the doctor is back, with a sheet of paper in her hands and she looks up at Clare. "Okay, so we won't have the results from the bloodwork back for a couple of days, but I can tell you now that you are certainly pregnant." She says as she comes back in, holding the sheet of paper out to show Clare the results, pointing out the numbers to show her how she knows. "Slide back on the chair and we'll see if we can tell how far along you are with an ultrasound now."

Clare leaves the doctors office with a feeling in the pit of her stomach. This is real. As real as it had been to her the minute she'd seen the test turn up positive in her hands, holding an ultrasound photograph in her hands was even more real. Not that you could see much of anything in the photograph, eleven weeks along she's told, but she can't make anything out without the arrow pointing in the direction of where the baby is. The size of a brussels sprout or a fig or even a strawberry supposedly, what google tells her when she looks it up. She's got an appointment for three more weeks down the line, same time.

"I have to tell Mr. Simpson now, don't I?" Clare asks Audra as they're looking through the drug store while they wait for their food to be ready.

"You're going to have to eventually, Clare. I think it might be better to tell him now than waiting around until it's too late to hide any longer." Audra explains, picking up what they need and going to the counter with Clare by her side.

"I know, I'm just worried. He was one of my favorite teachers before he became principal, and I've been to his house." Clare explains staying behind and letting Audra take care of everything at the counter. She knows her parents have sent the Torres' money to help with costs for everything considering Clare and her own predicament. "I'm worried that he's going to look at me differently or that it'll become a big thing and I don't want it to be this big thing. I want to still be in school and not have everybody know. So far nobody knows. Well...nobody who I don't want to know, at least."

Audra and Clare leave the drug store together and Audra nods her head, "I know it's difficult, but you're going to have to realize that sooner rather than later it's likely that everyone is going to find out."

Clare sighs biting her lip and thinking for a moment before nodding her head and replying, "I know. I know."

"Let's get our lunch and get you back to school, alright?" Audra says, putting an arm around Clare and smiling as they walk back into the restaurant.

It was nice to sit in the restaurant and relax for a bit with Audra and not worry about anything that was going on elsewhere. Clare knew that everything needed to be explained and her worries would either come true or be squashed down with everything that would come from it all. But she needed to figure out how to do it all. Clare didn't know what to do, or how to do it. She'd even managed to keep herself away from Eli in school, which was fairly easy considering their only shared class was Grade 12 AP English, and otherwise she could avoid him in the halls. She'd even made Adam, and everybody else who knew, promise to keep her living at the Torres house a secret from him.

Getting back to school, Clare was ready for the second half of the day. She waited on the steps before the lunch bell would ring and thats when it happened. What she'd been avoiding since everything.

Eli walking back towards school with Imogen and Fiona on either side of him, all of them laughing at some joke or something. But Clare can't get up off the steps and into the building fast enough. As she makes it to the door she can tell that he's spotted her, and she already hears him calling her name.

"Clare! Clare, hold on. Bye, I'll see you guys at the drama club meeting later. Clare wait, I need to talk to you." Eli's voice is out of breath and Clare's rushing through the school door to try and get away from him, but as she gets inside his hand is on her arm and she stops mid-step to turn to look at him.

"I think we both made where we stood clear the other day, Eli. I have nothing left to say to you." Clare explains with a bitter tone to her voice, shaking her head and wriggling her arm out of his touch. She does her best to keep her voice down as to not get the attention of every other student in the halls during the lunch period who are beginning to file back in and get ready. "Let go of my arm, Eli."

"No." Eli says firmly, his grip tightening on her arm briefly while Clare winces and he drops his hand down to attempt to hold hers. "Please, listen to me Clare."

"I have nothing more to say to you Eli." Clare says. She's doing her best to keep her emotions in right now. She doesn't want to be around Eli. "You broke my heart with what you said and how you said it."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Eli rushes to speak, his face falling when he realizes Clare's dropped his hand and his gaze has fallen down to his hand between their two bodies. Eli doesn't know what to do to make things right, but he knows that he wants no part of what Clare's decided and that won't change. But he wants Clare, he's always wanted Clare. "We're soulmates, Clare. You and me. You have to see that."

"Eli, if we were soulmates. If I believed that was such a thing,"

Eli cuts Clare off, his brows furrowing together at her words, "What do you mean? You believe in soulmates. You do. We do. We are." Eli scoffs, shaking his head at Clare with a sigh, rolling his eyes at her. It was clear from his stance, from her body language that he didn't believe her. That he didn't want to believe her, and he continues to explain that to her while he speaks, "You read classics. You love those stories, Clare. Those great love stories of the ages. You believe in those books, right? In their love stories, in those soulmates. In the romance. We're just like them!"

"Eli, we're not a fairytale, and we're not like some classic romantic love story we've read. And if you'd let me finish what I was saying, I don't know what I believe in right now. But I believe that I know what's best for me." Clare explains with a shrug of her shoulders, blinking to avoid the heat in her eyes threatening to pull tears.

Eli's voice raises as he looks at Clare, shaking his head, "That's not good enough! That's not fair!" His voice is loud enough to draw attention to the pair fighting, but neither of them look at the crowd they're drawing.

Clare keeps her voice calm, nearly whispering to avoid people overhearing, as she looks at Eli, "What's not fair is me dealing with this alone because of everyone who I thought loved me leaving me high and dry because of a choice I'm making." Clare clears her throat and takes a step back, still looking at Eli. "Leave me alone, Eli. For good. We're broken up for a reason."

"We're not finished!" Eli reaches forward and grabs Clare's arm, tugging her toward him.

AN: Thanks for reading this fic, as always! Sorry for the sort of cliffhanger, but like I said earlier I've got a few chapters written and I'll be posting on a regular basis so you won't need to wait too long. Also, taking a break for a bit definitely helped me get a couple of chapters ahead in the writing for the story, so I'll be posting fairly regularly once the new year hits and then I'll probably also be adding some new stories too. I've got two Clare centric stories, one is a future Clew story and one is a Klare story. Let me know in the comments/reviews if there's anything you're thinking about for the upcoming chapters of this story or questions about my other story ideas.