Even The Strongest (Under Reconstruction)

by An Ordinary Riceball

In which Goku has been traumatized in one of the worst ways imaginable and Vegeta is left to pick up the pieces. VENT FIC because I went through basically the same thing and needed an outlet. Trigger Warnings For Rape, Self-harm and Suicidal Ideation. VEGEKAKA. Set in Super. Major OOC in first chapters for trauma and drug side effect reasons. Have fixed some stuff in ch. 1-3

6. Moving Forward (The Trial)

Story: Even The Strongest, Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball.

FML, this took, what, three months to update? I'm so sorry y'all. I wanted to finish the entire trial process for this and rewrote this chapter about THREE TIMES so that's why it took so long, ahhhhh.

As always, I find myself perpetually UNHAPPY with how it turned out, and hate it horribly, but will post anyways despite how apprehensive I feel.

Honestly, I dunno if I'll update again after this. Maybe if people want it enough, but this has been so difficult and time consuming for me to write(this was probably the hardest chapter I've ever written for any story, because I'm not a prosecutor, I'm not a defense attorney, I'm not a person in the justice system and I'm sure as fuck not a doctor. I was merely trying to reenact everything to the best of my ability and alter things for Goku's story and I'll tell you it wasn't easy at all, so I apologize sincerely for any inaccuracies.

Also, Whis and Beerus are so hard for me to write for some reason, exploring a softer side to them as I did in this story. In general, I had a shit ton of trouble with this chapter, I just want to scream and cry and throw things right now because it sounds bad to me.

BTW fun fact: Japanese Vegeta can sing well, so that's one of my headcanons for this story, that he usually just chooses not to. :)

watch?v=qY7CcxQLUBM or search up Vegeta's cooking hell and go to 2:04 in. He has such a pretty voice. :')

This chapter I wanted to end on a super good note, which it sorta does but I also wanted to tackle some issues I thought of, so it's not completely perfect. Especially with the justice system for male victims of sexual assault and rape not being as good as it should in my opinion.

I should say that the court in the db universe for this fic is a mix of western jury and Japanese Penal Code. Most of it is stuff though that I'm basing this more off my personal experience and already had enough trouble writing this as is.

Penal Code on Sexual Crimes

Article 176. (Forcible Indecency)

A person who, through assault or intimidation, forcibly commits an indecent act upon a male or female of not less than thirteen years of age shall be punished by imprisonment with work for not less than 6 months but not more than 10 years. The same shall apply to a person who commits an indecent act upon a male or female under thirteen years of age.

Article 177 (Rape)

A person who, through assault or intimidation, forcibly commits sexual intercourse with a female of not less than thirteen years of age commits the crime of rape and shall be punished by imprisonment with work for a definite term of not less than 3 years. The same shall apply to a person who commits sexual intercourse with a female under thirteen years of age.

Article 178. (Quasi Forcible Indecency: Quasi Rape)

(1) A person who commits an indecent act upon a male or female by taking advantage of loss of consciousness or inability to resist, or by causing a loss of consciousness or inability to resist, shall be punished in the same manner as prescribed for in Article 176.

(2) A person who commits sexual intercourse with a female by taking advantage of a loss of consciousness or inability to resist, or by causing a loss of consciousness or inability to resist, shall be punished in the same matter as prescribed in the preceding Article.

...

Also, although for my own personal case it took about two years before I had a trial, but, in this, the time goes by much faster because I had to keep coming up with stuff to pass the time which wasn't easy.

One last thing, I used a partial scene from the manga future trunks arc where Goku and Vegeta played video games haha some may recognize it, some may not.

TRIGGER WARNINGS for this chapter:

Self-harm(personal experiences), Disordered Eating(personal experiences), background homophobia(partially personal experience based on religious homophobia I saw from some of my own family members, and other stuff altered a bit for this story), and talk of Suicide(kinda personal experiences). This has some really heavy content, no rape flashbacks like the last one exactly, but still beware of content, cuz, shit, it's dark.

Also some *slightly* sexual content in this one? And lots of kissing hehe

Also, the beginning of this chapter kinda had a rushed start because I wanted to get Whis involved.

ONTO THE CHAPTER I guess? (Please be kind to me) TwT;

…

It wasn't uncommon for Goku and Vegeta to rip each other's clothes when they were sparring, such things were inevitable due to how rough of fighters they were. As such, hiding things like injuries from the other for too long wasn't always possible because of the off chance that it would be discovered.

Vegeta knew he shouldn't have been surprised, he shouldn't have. But all this time he had been hoping it wasn't true, trying over and over again to push the thought to the back of his mind.

So to say that he felt like he had been stabbed in the chest with a knife when he first saw the lacerations on Goku's leg would be putting it lightly. And much to his dismay it wasn't just cuts either. There were scars too, ones that had to be at least a month to two months old, and even newer ones. The very sight of it tore him apart because it confirmed the suspicions he had had; That Goku had in fact been hiding things from him.

"Kakarot… Your leg… It's…" He had accidentally widened an already existing hole in Goku's zubon while they were scuffling on the ground, and that's when he saw them on his inner thigh.

"That's uh… I'm sorry… I got upset again and…" Goku stammered, immediately looking away. A common statement, really. But how else could he explain himself?

Vegeta wanted to say something, but no words would come out. Swallowing a lump that had formed in his throat, he traced his thumb along one of the cuts that had reopened, staining the fabric of his glove with the other man's blood. One of the cuts had reopened.

He had seen Goku's blood multiple times before, but there was always something different, something that, even now, he couldn't fully stomach about it when he knew it was from a wound that the Saiyan himself had created on purpose, not for training reasons but simply to cope with his trauma.

Goku's face turned slightly red as Vegeta's fingers brushed against his inner thigh. The sensation of being touched there made his skin crawl.

He felt vulnerable.

He didn't like it.

Not because it was Vegeta, but because that man had touched him there.

"Well, this is… unexpected." Whis interrupted both of their thoughts. He bent down next to Vegeta to get a closer look at Goku's wounds, the ones that Vegeta had been so intently focused on.

"Whis!" Vegeta jumped slightly, startled.

Goku remained glued to his spot, looking at both of them nervously.

"...Goku, have you been hurting yourself?" Whis's tone was calm, but the question was blunt and to the point. It was hard to tell, but he almost looked unnerved.

Realizing his mentor had figured out what the wounds were from immediately, the Saiyan allowed his bangs to shadow his eyes, too ashamed to formulate a response.

Vegeta averted his gaze. "Yeah... He's been… doing this for at least a couple months now…"

Goku couldn't help but feel a sting of betrayal when Vegeta said that, but he knew there was no use hiding it anymore.

"I see…" Whis replied. "I did notice he's been scratching himself rather frequently lately, but I hadn't realized it had gotten this out of hand."

As he said that, he pressed his thumb against the skin next to one of Goku's cuts, moving his leg outward slightly. Goku turned his head away, once again blushing awkwardly at the contact. He knew there was no ill intent behind it, but he really didn't want to be touched there anymore. These injuries had already attracted enough attention from Vegeta.

"Some of these appear to be quite deep too…" Whis noted, before retracting his hand, maybe because he had picked up on Goku's discomfort. "Did something happen to cause you to do this?"

"It's…" Goku couldn't say it.

"...Kakarot, would you mind if I told him…?" Vegeta asked after a moment. "He may be able to help you, or at least give you some kind of suggestion…"

Vegeta didn't want to betray Goku's trust in him, but this matter had reached a point that he honestly didn't know what else to do. Any advice could help.

"...Okay…." Goku murmured.

After a long time, Vegeta answered Whis's question. "...A couple months ago, some bastard… raped Kakarot… He's… having trouble dealing with it."

…

"Ah, so that's what it is…" Whis mused after Vegeta had explained the whole story. There was no judgment, it was only a simple statement of observation. "Yes, that would certainly explain his aversion to physical contact. It's been limiting his movements when he spars… Hm… Although I can't stop him if this is how he's has chosen to deal with all of this, I do think it would be wise for him to find other methods to channel out his feelings, preferably ones that don't involve harming himself."

Vegeta opened his mouth to respond but Goku cut him off, "I've tried, Whis, I swear I have, but nothing else is working anymore…"

"...So you say. But tell me. What about this do you think helps you?" Whis asked.

"It's… a whole lotta stuff… I'm not really sure how to answer that…" Goku pulled his knees up to his chest. He thought he had had an answer before, but it turned out that was only part of it.

"I need you to at least try, Goku…" Whis almost seemed impassive yet gentle at the same time.

"...I guess it… distracts me somehow." he finally admitted, relaxing a bit. "That way... I don't have to see him anymore… I mean… even if I don't… always understand the stuff goin' on inside my head… I don't need to… cuz the pain… it's… something that I do understand... and it… takes me away from that…"

He was sure in that moment that he was going to be judged or looked down on. In hindsight, his explanation sounded so stupid to him.

Whis said nothing of the sort however, urging him to go further. "Takes you away from what exactly?"

"...Like the memories… and the nightmares… and also…" the last part of Goku's answer was extremely vague.

"Also…?" Whis inquired.

"...It's just… Nothing feels right anymore... My body… and everything else… It's not… how I want it to be… So… even if I can't… change anything…, at least I have… some sorta control… over the physical pain… God, this probably sounds so stupid…" Goku covered his face with his hand, pulling at his bangs in frustration as he rested his elbows against his legs.

"Well, I wouldn't say it's stupid… On some level, I suppose it even makes sense somehow…" Whis assured him. "This 'control' you speak of… It's your way of reclaiming ownership over your mind and body; ownership which you feel was stolen from you when he violated you, isn't it…?"

"...Yeah…" Goku gnawed at the inside of his cheek. "I didn't know how else to put it into words..."

"Well, from what you've described, it sounds like some form of dissociation to me… Perhaps you could try holding ice?" Whis suggested.

"Ice…?" Goku inquired with some uncertainty.

"Mhm." Whis confirmed, leaning in towards him with a smile. "Believe it or not, it can actually be quite painful… How about this? The next time you feel like hurting yourself, I want you to go to the kitchen. There's a bunch of ice in the freezer, so feel free to take as much as you'd like."

Goku was quiet for a second, before looking down with a troubled expression. "I dunno… You really think it could work?"

"If it doesn't, there are always other options as well, such as harichiryou, or acupuncture. I hear it's actually super popular back on earth." Whis said. It was clearly meant as a joke, though Goku didn't pick up on that fact.

"Ha..ri." Goku tested the first part of the word in his mouth, a look of distrust suddenly passed over his face. "No way, I hate needles!"

His cheeks puffed out, gaining some amusement from both Whis and Vegeta alike over that.

"Alright, alright... No needles for now. Jokes aside, I think it would be best if we put the rest of your match with Vegeta on hold for now. I can already tell that you two aren't going to be in the right state of mind until this matter is settled. I imagine Vegeta also has a lot that he wants to say to you as well. As for your wounds, however…" With a wave of his staff, Whis healed the two Saiyans, their wounds gone in an instant. Only Goku's older scars remained. "There. All healed."

Goku couldn't help but feel shame when he heard Whis's decision to postpone their match. He covered his face with his hands, pulling at his hair.

"...I'm… sorry… I'm sure you must be disappointed in me right now… about what happened… between me and… that man…" He trailed off with some bitterness which was directed at himself.

"...Wait, what? You think I'm disappointed in you over that? Nonsense… Why would I be…?" Whis asked, a bit confused.

"It's just… I can't believe I was stupid enough to trust him. I took pills from a stranger. What sane person does that? He could have killed me and I didn't even…" Goku trailed off.

"Well, it may be true that you could have used better judgment about some things," Whis didn't deny it. "but, regardless, that man is responsible for his own actions, Goku. After all, did he not explicitly ignore you when you asked him to stop? That was his choice. You share no part in that."

Goku wanted to take some encouragement from his words, but it was nearly impossible when the doubts had already started plaguing his mind.

Whis was quiet for a moment before glancing back towards Vegeta, who had reached a hand up to touch his partner's shoulder.

"In any case, I have a few errands I must attend to. I'll leave you two alone for now." Whis said simply, before glancing at Goku one last time. "But Goku…?"

"Huh?" Goku gazed up at him.

"...No matter what you may seem to think, your body is still yours. What that man did to you hasn't changed that… And I'm pretty sure your dear Vegeta feels the same way." The angel smiled softly, giving the implication that he already knew about their relationship, which they hadn't bothered to announce to anyone yet.

Neither Saiyan cared to address it, however, as Vegeta was more focused on Goku's well-being and Goku was more focused on the other stuff Whis had said, not even knowing how to respond to all that.

But Whis was right. Vegeta did feel that way. He had made that abundantly clear to Goku on multiple occasions, so why did Goku constantly feel otherwise, like he was unclean?

Because, in Goku's eyes, he was.

Unworthy.

Of everything that Vegeta had offered him.

But that couldn't be further from the actual truth of the matter. Vegeta loved him, so much more than he could express with words alone. There was absolutely nothing that could push him away from him, least of all his body or what it had been through. Or what he had been through.

Vegeta wished Goku could understand that, but, unfortunately, he knew why he couldn't, and it tore him apart.

"Hey… I want you to go back to the bedroom…" He instructed, caressing Goku's cheek. "We'll talk there…"

"Okay." Goku said, his hair falling in his eyes as he got up and did as told.

It wasn't long before Vegeta got up and started to leave as well.

"You know… The injuries on Goku's leg just now weren't exactly shallow. " Whis spoke up, stopping him in his tracks. You might want to keep a closer eye on him."

Vegeta immediately turned his head away at hearing that, his eyebrows contorting with frustration. "...Yeah, I know… I'm starting to realize that…"

…

A few minutes later, Vegeta found Goku hidden inside of a blanket on his bed. Except he wasn't lying down, no, he was sitting up.

"Pretending you're a ghost, now…?" The prince asked with some amusement, getting on the bed with him.

"No…" Goku denied. "It's just… easier to concentrate this way."

"You look ridiculous…" Vegeta scoffed, but didn't linger on it, assuming it to be some sort of comfort mechanism for him. "Mind if I join you…?"

"Oh, uh-" Goku cut himself off when the blanket was lifted and he was greeted with the face of his lover. He turned red as their noses were only inches apart. "Alright…"

Vegeta pulled the blanket over them both so only they could see each other now. It was a bit cramped but neither of them particularly minded it.

"How are you feeling…?" Vegeta asked after a long silence. "I know Whis healed you and all, but still…"

"I'm alright… I've just been thinkin' about some stuff, is all…" Goku said with some hesitance.

"You, thinking…? That can never be a good thing." Vegeta tried to pass off his concern as a joke, a frown forming on his face when he received no response. He urged him closer. "Come here, I want to know what's going on in that head of yours…"

After a moment, Goku crawled on top of him. For some reason or another, his assumption was that Vegeta wanted him to sit on his lap. That wasn't exactly what Vegeta had in mind, of course, but he wasn't complaining, as long as he could hold him.

"It's… just some dumb memories… and… the nightmares…" Goku had his hands resting on Vegeta's shoulders, but was avoiding his gaze. "They keep getting worse…"

"Worse how…?" Vegeta inquired.

Once again, Goku didn't respond.

"Hey, look at me… Did you do that last night?" Vegeta caressed his cheek in an attempt to get him to face him.

Goku knew somehow even without it being said that Vegeta was referring to the recent cuts on his leg that had just been healed by Whis.

"...Yeah… It happened when I was in the bath…" Goku said. "I started remembering stuff again…"

"Do you want to tell me about it…?" Vegeta asked.

"...He… hit me… in the face… with his… thing… multiple times… And called me a bunch of names… I'm not… really sure what all of it meant… but…" Vegeta could tell it was related to Goku's trauma, but his vocabulary had been fluctuating a lot recently when he was referencing sexual stuff, as he'd often go from having no filter at all one day to not being able to use any sexual language the next.

This was one of those latter times, but truthfully, some part of Vegeta actually preferred it this way, because the Goku he knew wasn't the type of person who would have spouted out stuff like whore or dick so flippantly. Goku was immature in many ways, yes, and he certainly wasn't the most modest in his language, but he also wasn't particularly vulgar; Likely one of the many other reasons that Allan's behavior had made him so uncomfortable. It might have been acceptable if it was a willing participant who was actually into that. But Goku clearly wasn't.

"It was… humiliating… I felt like… an animal. Like I wasn't… a person to him… Like I was…" Goku's voice cracked, he didn't even know how to word it.

"A slave...?" Vegeta knew that feeling all too well. It was the only way to describe it when you had your individuality stolen from you; to be somebody else's plaything, and made to do whatever they told you to no matter how humiliating it was. When you were told that your entire purpose in life was to satisfy another; that your body wasn't your own, but somebody else's to do as they pleased to.

Goku clutched tighter at Vegeta's shoulders as he bowed his head, offering the smallest of nods. He didn't know if that's the way such a thing could be described, others had probably had it far worse than he did. It was only four hours, but a mere four hours that had somehow managed to break him for months.

"I'm sorry… You didn't deserve to be treated that way… by anybody…" Vegeta wasn't sure what else to say that he hadn't already. "...And if I could go back and take it all away somehow, I would…"

"...Hey, Vegeta…?"

Vegeta looked up at him. "Hm?"

"...Do people… actually do those sorts of things…?" Goku wanted to know. "In normal sex, I mean. Chichi never did. I know she wasn't a guy and all, but still… She was always… gentle with me… and said nice stuff about me… I wasn't… good at it, but I always… tried to do the same with her so she… wouldn't feel bad either…"

"Well… Every… relationship is different…" Vegeta tried to find the best way to explain it. "Some people are… into that…, but… not everybody is… and that's alright… It's just a matter of trust… and finding what you're comfortable with… But what he did to you… It wasn't consensual either way, so… I can understand… why it scared you so much."

"...If we… ever have sex… Will you… promise…" Goku faltered, almost afraid to continue. "not to do those things to me…?"

At this point, he still wasn't ready for that, and he didn't know if he'd ever be, but he had to ask anyway. To know for sure, and hear it from Vegeta himself.

"I promise, Kakarot…" Vegeta assured him. "I would never do anything that made you feel unsafe with me… You know that…, right?"

"Yeah…" Goku's response was barely above a whisper. Without any warning, he broke down in tears, his shoulders trembling. He tried to wipe the tears from his eyes but failed to stop them. "I'm sorry… I don't… know why I'm crying…"

"You've been traumatized, that's why…" Vegeta didn't even hesitate to wipe them away. "It's okay…"

Softly, he continued to caress Goku's face, brushing some of the hair out of his eyes. His gaze was filled with so much worry, but so much love at the same time. He wanted to express that concern somehow, to convey the intensity of what he was feeling.

Words alone couldn't, so he chose to show it in the only way he knew how to at the moment. Slowly - ever so slowly - he leaned upwards, capturing Goku's lips with his own. The kiss was soft, but it was enough to let the other Saiyan know just how much he meant to him.

Goku closed his eyes, feeling his face heat up at the contact. He soon pulled away, bashfully lowering his head in response.

Vegeta took in the sight with fondness. Before all this, He had never realized just how shy Goku could actually be. But he adored it, seeing the other Saiyan's cheeks burn bright red because of him. He wanted to pull that side out of him more often.

Much to his heartbreak, however, Goku started crying even harder after that, burying his head against Vegeta's chest.

"Kakarot…" Vegeta breathed painfully. He wrapped his arms around him, desperately wanting more than anything to alleviate his pain, but not having a clue what to do.

In that moment, Goku felt so small in his embrace, and fragile, like a single wrong touch could break him.

"...Sometimes… I feel like… you'd be better off without me…" Goku choked out amidst stifled sobs.

"What…? Hey, don't say that… I would not." Vegeta tightened his hold on him slightly, rubbing his back. He didn't know what he meant by 'without him', but he didn't like the implications. He could only assume that Goku was referring to suicide again, the urges that had been eating away at him for so long now. He had to get his message across. "I told you, I've already lost you once before and I refuse to go through that again."

"It's just… No matter what I do anymore… It's like I'm still there… and I want it to stop… I want it to go away… all of it…" Goku clutched at the fabric of Vegeta's uniform so tight that his knuckles turned white from the pressure.

"I know…" Vegeta's eyebrows contorted.

"I want to die..." The words struck Vegeta like a knife.

"I'm sorry…" His voice was strained, as he was quickly losing faith in his abilities to console him. Ignoring the hair in his face, he kissed his lover's crown before resting his cheek against his head. "I really wish I could help you, but I'm not sure how…"

"It's alright…, you've already done enough for me as it is..." Goku pulled back. "Just being with you… It makes me so happy, I couldn't possibly ask for anything else…"

"...You know I care about you… I don't always show it, but I do… so if… something happened to you, I…" Vegeta couldn't even finish his sentence.

"I'm not gonna kill myself…" Goku argued weakly, despite having said that he wanted to die just a few moments before. He was no longer crying but he was still sniffling.

"You keep saying that… but you could still end up doing so by accident…" Just barely, he was keeping himself from breaking down all together. "Don't you see that? You're putting yourself in danger every time you choose to pick up a blade to hurt yourself with…"

"I'm always… super careful about it, though. And I never… cut myself too deep." Goku said.

Upon hearing that, Vegeta was at a loss. What was he supposed to say anymore when some part of Goku didn't even want to stop?

How is he even rationalizing this?

"You deserve so much better than this…" He pulled back, gently grabbing Goku's arm. Slowly, taking note of the insecure expression on his lover's face, he began to run a thumb under the fabric of his arm bands, slipping them off of him one by one.

The skin was now exposed, revealing dozens of scars on his wrists.

Vegeta could feel Goku shiver under his touch as he traced a finger along the largest scar he saw. It was on his left arm, the place he cut the most.

The truth was Goku hated his scars. They were ugly to him, but something he had started to consider to be a necessity to survive.

A bashful flush formed on his face when Vegeta lifted his arm and pressed his lips against his wrist.

"I really do wish you'd rely on me more often… when you're feeling that way…" Vegeta didn't know how many times he had said that, but he didn't care. "Because it hurts me too… every time I see more of these scars on you… just knowing I wasn't there for you…"

"I don't want to bother you..." That wasn't the first time Goku had said that either. Even so, Vegeta was long since used to it by now.

"You're not, though… not by asking for help, you're not… I've told you…" He let go of Goku's wrist, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him closer. He then brought his other hand up to Goku's cheek. "We're partners, you moron. We're supposed to face these things together…"

"I know, but... it's not like I can call for you every time I get stressed out about something… Besides…" Goku faltered. "I don't… like talking about that stuff, and the pain… it shuts my feelings up, so that way I don't have to…"

"But you know that's not healthy…" Vegeta said with concern over his sense of reasoning.

"I don't care…" Goku muttered. "It's easier this way…"

"That's what I used to think too…" Vegeta ruminated. "Not about self-harm, but something similar… I thought it would help me feel better… but… all it was doing was turning me into a person I didn't recognize anymore… and I didn't… want to live like that, or allow some… habit to control me, so I stopped. And one day… I hope you'll be able to as well…"

"I'm not… as strong as you are…" Goku looked away.

"You say that, but you're still alive, aren't you…?" Vegeta pointed out. "Even though you said you wanted to die…"

"Maybe, but that's only cuz of you…" Goku sheepishly ran a finger over Vegeta's shoulder. "You make me wanna keep fighting…"

Vegeta blushed slightly at hearing that, flattered.

"Well… I suppose I should take that as a compliment then, shouldn't I, Kakarot…? Apparently, I must be doing something right…" He smirked with an affectionate gaze. His smile, however, soon faded. "Still… I want you to try to explore other coping mechanisms. Like the ice that Whis suggested…"

"I don't think that'll work…" Goku said. "Nothing else has…"

"Well, that's not a very positive way of looking at it." Vegeta lightly scolded him. "You won't know if you like something unless you try it…"

"But I have been trying…" Goku argued weakly.

"You've tried a few." Vegeta corrected him. "But you can't give up on all of them just because one option doesn't work the way you want it to… Do you get what I'm saying…?"

"Yeah… I guess so…" Goku said.

Vegeta could tell by his tone that he was only saying that to placate him, but decided pressing it wasn't a good idea.

"Good…" He kissed him gently. "Now… We should probably start heading down to the kitchen soon. Or we could walk this off a bit until it's closer to time to eat. What do you think?"

"...Actually… Why don't you go on down without me? I'm not really hungry right now…" Goku said.

"You're not? But you're always hungry." Vegeta teased slightly, in a way to mask his concern. "Are you feeling sick or something…?"

"Yeah, sorta." Goku dismissed. "You mind… maybe saving me some? I might eat it later…"

"I see… I'll have Whis set you aside a dish." Vegeta offered. "How does that sound?"

"Mn." Goku uttered in response.

"Alright. In the meantime, I want you to try to get some rest." Vegeta instructed. "I can tell you're exhausted."

"Kay..." Goku got off of him, moving out from under the blanket they still had on top of them, laying down on his side.

Vegeta took some time to spread it over Goku, tucking him in.

Seeing as Goku had already closed his eyes to sleep, he leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

Goku uttered something akin to another okay, causing Vegeta to smile fondly as he once again moved some hair out of his face.

He must have tired himself out due to crying.

Vegeta stood up and started to leave, but faltered when he made his way to the door, remembering Whis's warning.

He ran a shaky hand through his hair, letting out a breath he didn't know he had been holding back. Taking one last look at the resting face of his lover, he tried his best to fight off the voice at the back of his head telling him to stay.

…

Whis was in the kitchen when Vegeta finally got around to heading there. Before then, he had wasted some time walking around the building to clear his head.

"Oh, Vegeta." The angel looked up when Vegeta sat down at the table. "Is Goku not with you?"

"No, he said he wasn't feeling well." Vegeta muttered.

"Is that so? How odd…" Whis mused. "He's never missed a meal before…"

"Yeah, well… If you can, just set some aside for him. He said he'd eat later when feels like it…" Vegeta replied.

"I see. I'm putting a container with his name on it in the fridge right now." Whis responded.

Vegeta chose not to comment.

After a few minutes, the angel came back with a couple large bowls, handing him one alongside a spoon. "Here, Vegeta."

It appeared to be some sort of stir fry with a large array of meat and vegetables. It smelled nice, but Vegeta wasn't in the mood to mention it.

Vegeta dipped his spoon into the food and started to take a bite.

"Mind your manners." Whis scolded him. "You forgot to say thank you for the meal."

"Tch, fine… Thank you for the meal. There, are you happy now…?" Vegeta grumbled, finally beginning to eat.

Whis smiled, before sitting down next to him and doing the same.

Vegeta could only assume Beerus was sleeping again, the reason for his lack of appearance.

"...Are you going to tell Lord Beerus…?" He asked. "About… the stuff with Kakarot, I mean…?"

"Well, that is part of my job, yes." Whis said simply. "If Goku has been hurting himself in his home, I think he'd like to know that."

"I see..." Vegeta couldn't help but feel a bit of anxiety at that.

"...Just in case you're wondering, Lord Beerus isn't the type of person who would judge somebody over something like that, so I honestly doubt you or Goku needs to worry about what his reaction will be…"

"...He's… always worrying that people are going to think less of him if they find out… Especially me… It's like he needs my approval for everything, even over his own body…" His eyebrows contorted in frustration as he covered his face with his hand. "This trauma… It's destroying him… He wasn't… like that before…"

"Well, I don't think it's just the trauma… when it comes to you, that is…" Whis commented. "Goku has always valued your opinion with high regard, likely even higher than you realize yourself. When you're angry… or upset about something, he does notice it, even if he doesn't always know how to respond to it… It upsets him too, but Goku represses such things, it's how he's always dealt with stressful situations before now. I bet you never even realized that, did you?"

"...There are a lot of things I failed to realize before…" Vegeta admitted in a solemn tone. "I just can't believe it took some bastard violating him to make me see what was right in front of me…"

…

Dinner went by rather smoothly overall. Once Whis and Vegeta had had their fill, Whis left Vegeta in charge of washing the dishes, which he did so dutifully, before making his way back to the bedroom.

Goku was still laying down, but he had turned over towards Vegeta's side. Goku opened his eyes upon hearing him enter the room.

"You're still awake?" Vegeta noted, joining him in the bed.

"Yeah, funny story. I couldn't seem to fall asleep." Goku laughed a bit. "I…"

He blushed, trailing off into silence when Vegeta pulled him into his arms, brushing his lips against his forehead.

"Sorry, you don't mind me holding you right now, do you?" Vegeta asked.

"No," Goku said. "I'm okay with it…"

"You were… about to say something just now, right…? What was it?" Vegeta wanted to know.

"It's nothing." Goku smiled softy. "Don't worry about it…"

He didn't seem to be lying.

"...Kakarot…" Vegeta hesitated, shyly averting his gaze. "Do you… mind if I kiss your neck some…? I'll… stop if it makes you uncomfortable…"

His voice was filled with uncertainty. He then looked back into his eyes, searching for any sign of discomfort. Under normal circumstances, he'd have just gone for it, but, more than anything, he didn't want to risk potentially crossing over a line that his partner wasn't okay with.

"Alright…" Goku blushed in response.

Vegeta couldn't be happier when he agreed. He slowly leaned in, closing the gap between them. Their faces burned even brighter as they closed their eyes, eagerly allowing their tongues to collide as they deepened the osculation. Vegeta quickly started to become much more bold, making sure to explore every crevice in Goku's mouth before he finally pulled away, taking in the sight of Goku's reddened cheeks.

A strand of saliva then followed him while he passionately worked his way to the other man's jawline in a tender trail of kisses.

Vegeta's lips are so warm…

Goku's heart was racing a mile a minute, causing him to feel a little dizzy.

Careful not to scare him, Vegeta adjusted his position to where he was now sitting on top of him.

Hastily, he allowed his lips to make contact with Goku's neck, soon finding himself sucking at the skin, the sensation causing Goku to start giggling.

Vegeta's eyes widened, pausing for a moment. The corners of his lips curved upwards in realization. "Kakarot, are you ticklish?"

"N-No…" Goku denied, bashfully.

"Oh, but I think you are…" Vegeta purred into his ear in amusement, more than ready to exploit such a weakness. "What was that just now…?"

"It was… um…" Goku trailed off, not able to finish the sentence.

"Hm…?" Vegeta once again nibbled at his skin, taking full satisfaction in hearing him laugh again.

"Okay, fine, I am a little, but I can't help it…" Goku pouted, looking away. "My neck is… really sensitive…"

"Well, it's certainly nothing to get embarrassed about…" Vegeta smirked. "Maybe I like hearing you laugh… Especially after all that crying you did earlier…"

"Veget-Ah…" Goku's breath hitched as Vegeta's teeth suddenly dug into his neck, harder than before. It wasn't enough to draw blood, but it was enough to leave his mark and say that he was his. Nobody else was allowed to touch him.

That being said, it was a bit hard to take seriously since Goku kept giggling, but his laughter was adorable as hell to Vegeta, so he couldn't complain too much.

Feeling heat rise to his cheeks, he chose not to tease him any further about it, content just listening to it.

After a short bit, Goku actually started to find it surprisingly relaxing, more so than he'd ever thought possible. What was better, Vegeta seemed to know how to do it just right, his tongue working miracles in the process.

He turned his head to the side to grant Vegeta better access to his neck, an offer which Vegeta readily took him up on.

"Someone's needy… You really like this that much?" Vegeta asked with some amusement, finding extra pleasure in the sound of the contented sighs escaping Goku's mouth, knowing they were all because of him.

"...Yeah, it feels… nice… Just… try not to bite me too hard, okay?" It was embarrassing talking about this out loud with him for some reason.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle." Vegeta assured him, before taking that as permission to continue where he had left off, littering his neck with hickeys of various shapes and sizes as if his skin were a canvas.

Hesitantly, Goku started to brush his hands against Vegeta's sides, but, as if on instinct, Vegeta stopped him.

"I'm sorry, I'd… rather not be touched right now." He spoke, barely above a whisper, taking Goku's hands into his.

He rarely did.

But Goku was okay with that. As much as some part of him wanted to touch him, it was pretty clear that this was what Vegeta felt the most comfortable with right now, and, if that's what he needed to feel safe, then Goku didn't want to tread on that.

"A-Alright… I love you…" His voice was weak and insecure as Vegeta intertwined their fingers above his head. That was the first time he had told Vegeta that since they had gotten together. In fact, this was the first time either one of them had said that to the other.

Vegeta faltered, unsure how to respond to hearing such an intimate statement from him at first.

In that moment, just as it had many other times, his father's voice suddenly echoed in his head, reminding him all over again that he would have never approved of him having such a relationship with another man, because it went against nature - went against his ascribed role as an heir to carry on the royal bloodline - but, quite frankly, Vegeta didn't care. As far as he was concerned, he himself called the shots now, and what Vegeta wanted was to be with Kakarot, so he would. It was as simple as that.

Still, Vegeta had never been one who could say such words so easily. Even with Bulma, he had usually preferred to let his actions speak for him instead.

So that's what he did.

Leaning in, meeting his lips once more. Surely, a kiss would be enough to get the message across, right?

"...I've been thinking…" He said. "We should go somewhere…"

"Go somewhere? But why…?" Goku asked, misunderstanding what Vegeta was talking about. I think we're just fine where we are…"

Down deep, he had wanted more than anything to hear him say those words to him as well, but he couldn't tell him that. Doing so would be selfish of him.

"No, I meant like a d-date, you idiot..." Vegeta corrected him awkwardly, a blush forming on his face. Goku could be so oblivious sometimes. "Somewhere back on Earth."

"...Ohh… Uh…" Goku paused for a moment as the realization hit him. "Sure, I guess we could..."

"You guess…?" Vegeta noted, apprehensively. "Do you not want to?"

"No, sorry, that's not what I meant… I mean I'd like to… But…" It was so rare for Vegeta to willingly suggest anything like this. Goku wasn't even sure what to say. "Only if it's something you want to do… You and I both know this isn't exactly our sort of thing… "

Truthfully, he didn't want to be on earth right now, but if it was only a day, he didn't mind it so much, especially if it was with Vegeta.

"It's fine. I wouldn't… offer it if I wasn't interested." Vegeta gazed off to the side.

"Ya got something in mind, then…?" Goku asked. "I'm no good at planning stuff."

"...Well, there is… a fireworks festival coming up in a couple months. The one for new years. Why don't we go to that…?" It wasn't that Vegeta particularly cared about the traditions of Earth, most Saiyans didn't really celebrate holidays - but he had to come up with something. Besides, festivals usually had good food, so there was that.

"Alright…" Goku paused, grinning tiredly. "I guess it's a date, then."

"Yeah. It's a date, Kakarot…" Vegeta smiled softly, pecking Goku's cheek.

Goku closed his eyes at the contact, exhaustion finally starting to kick in as he dozed off.

His armbands were still off, so Vegeta soon found his attention wandering back to the scars and blemishes that were covering Goku's wrists; marks he had tried so hard to ignore while he had been kissing him.

Those marks served as painful reminders of all the times he had failed to be there for him, or hadn't been there because Goku didn't trust him enough to come to him.

"I don't want to bother you…"

As he traced his thumb over some of the wounds, his shoulders began trembling.

Why does he always say that?

Kakarot could never bother me over something like this… Never... I just wish he'd realize that…

"I want to die."

Tears welling up in his eyes, he buried his head against Goku's chest, moving his hands back down to clutch at the fabric of his gi.

Under normal circumstances, Goku dying would mean retaining his body and going to the otherworld or King Kai's planet to train more, but Goku could always do that anyways, so Vegeta knew fully well by now that that wasn't what Goku had in mind this time.

And knowing that hurt more than he could express with words.

I'm trying my best to do everything I can for him.

Am I simply not good enough?

No, of course I'm not.

He needs medication, and a therapist, but he doesn't want that.

"Those wounds on Goku's legs just now weren't exactly shallow. You might want to keep a closer eye on him."

As Whis's words echoed through his head, he let out a sob.

He's not wrong… If I had been watching over him like I should have, then he wouldn't have been able to hurt himself. But what the hell am I supposed to do? I can't be with him all the time…

Damn it…

Vegeta had never dealt with a situation like this before so he wasn't always sure what to do. He highly doubted he was handling it the way many others would have, but he had to keep trying.

It's my responsibility to look after him. Kakarot is depending on me.

If something happens to him, I won't be able to forgive myself for not taking better care of him.

Vegeta painfully observed the sleeping expression of his lover, pressing his lips against his forehead before laying down next to him and taking off his gloves.

I have to find a way to keep him safe.

He had to. Even if it meant taking away all the sharp objects he owned…

…

The next morning, Vegeta did exactly what he had decided he would, not only looking through Goku's bag and taking out two knives he had found, but locating everything in their bathroom and bedroom from razors to knives, and even a hard plastic comb that had been snapped in half. He then ran his fingers under Goku's obi to check around for anything at all.

"Fuck." He hissed when he suddenly felt a sharp pain on his index finger. Retracting his hand, he realized he was bleeding. "What the hell was that…?"

Holding the tip against the blue fabric of his clothes, he then used his other hand, more carefully this time, to fold back Goku's obi. That's when he discovered the culprit.

A razor blade?

Then this must be what he used to cut his leg with…

Letting out a shaky breath, he tried his best to calm his nerves, before flipping Goku over slightly to make sure there was nothing else that he was hiding in his obi. Fortunately, all that was left was his putty and one of his cubes. After that, he took some time to thoroughly feel around the outside of his gi, not wanting to reach his hands inside of Goku's clothing without his knowledge or consent.

Gathering everything he had found in his hands, he brought it all to Whis, asking him to put the stuff somewhere that Goku wouldn't be able to get ahold of it.

Instead of bringing the stuff elsewhere, however, Whis opted to simply provide Vegeta with a key and metal box that had a padlock on it.

"Here, you should be able to fit everything in this. Keep it locked when you're not around, so that way only you can access the stuff inside, otherwise Goku will need the key to get into it." The angel had explained.

Even though Vegeta didn't know how much good it would do, he thanked him anyway. If there was the slightest chance it would deter Goku from hurting himself somehow, it was worth a shot.

Once he was done with everything, he left the box in the bathroom, knowing he would have to wake Goku up. He looked down at the sleeping Saiyan, who was now stretched out across the bed, one arm hanging over the side of the mattress and the other hand resting on his chest. The quilt was a mess and one of the pillows was lying on the ground.

A faint beam from the morning sun illuminated Goku's face, bouncing off his skin.

His mouth was wide open, drool draining down to the side of his cheek, but even the saliva wasn't enough to keep Vegeta from finding himself drawn to the sight.

How can somebody be so obnoxious yet enticing at the same time?

He may be an idiot, but I guess he's my idiot now…

"Kakarot, wake up. It's morning." He announced.

Goku didn't respond. No surprise there.

Funnily enough, Vegeta and Goku were polar opposites when it came to sleeping.

While Vegeta was a light sleeper, who would sometimes wake up at the smallest sound, Goku was a heavy sleeper who could sleep through nearly anything, although not to the level of Buu of course.

"Come on, don't make me repeat myself." Vegeta shook him by the shoulder.

After a second, Goku seemed to stir somewhat, but kept his eyes closed. "Five more minutes..."

"No. Not five more minutes." Vegeta kneeled down in front of the bed so he was at eye level. "We both know you'll just go back to sleep if I leave you here."

"I will not…"

"As if you haven't countless times before?" Vegeta mocked. "Hurry up, I need to make up the bed, you've messed it all up."

"Hey, you can't just put all the blame on me. You were here too..." Goku groggily retorted.

"Maybe, but I don't toss and turn in my sleep like you do. Look, you even threw a pillow on the floor." Vegeta argued, as he picked it up.

A moment of silence passed by with no response and Vegeta could tell that Goku was starting to doze off again.

When Vegeta saw words alone weren't going to get through to him, he initially considered just kicking him off the bed, but that's when a devious idea suddenly crossed his mind.

Reaching out towards Goku's stomach, he grazed his fingers over the fabric of his shirt, tickling him.

"Vegeta!" Goku bursted out laughing, grabbing Vegeta's hand. "Stop that!"

"Are you going to get up now…?" Vegeta purred into Goku's ear as he continued.

Goku was apparently too stubborn to say yes, so Vegeta intensified his attack using both hands now. "I said… are you going to get up now?"

"Fine, you win, okay?! I'll get up! Just stop it already!" Goku had tears rolling down his cheeks from the intense laughter. He was trying to fight against it but was failing.

"That's what I thought." Vegeta scoffed as he drew his hands back and saw Goku finally crawl out of the bed. He immediately got to work on fixing things up.

Goku, of course, didn't look very happy. "I hate you…"

"You know you don't mean that." Vegeta wasn't fooled for one second.

"No, but you're still a jerk." Goku sulked.

"Stop whining." Vegeta scolded, straighting out the sheets. "It's your own fault for not getting up when I told you to."

"There are other ways to wake somebody up that don't include tickling them…" Goku retorted with a sour facial expression.

"Like what? Would you have rather me kicked you out of bed?" Vegeta tossed the fallen pillow on the bed, approaching him with a smirk. "Because I could certainly make arrangements for that in the future. I've done it before, after all."

"I don't understand you, Vegeta… Why are you so mean to me all the time…?" Goku groggily mumbled, when Vegeta hugged his waist.

"Oh, mean, am I…?" Vegeta raised an eyebrow, looking up at him. "And here I was just about to propose we go back to that restaurant you seemed to like so much at some point. But if I'm as awful as you say I am, then I guess I'll have to change my mind, won't I?"

"Wait, wait wait, I take everything back… I'm sorry." Goku apologized immediately. "I wanna go with you when you go! Please? Can I?"

"Hmph, alright, Kakarot… I'll forgive you." Vegeta said with a smirk. "But only on one condition."

"Condition…?" Goku inquired with uncertainty.

There was a hint of mischief in Vegeta's expression. "You have to give me a kiss first."

"A kiss…?" Goku blushed.

"You heard me." Vegeta said, looking at him with some expectancy. "What? Don't tell me you're getting shy now. We've kissed before..."

Despite his words, however, there wasn't any pressure.

"I know, but… okay." Goku agreed after a moment, leaning down and kissing him. It was only for a few seconds, but it was better than nothing. He quickly pulled back trying to hide the flush on his face. "How's that? Was that alright…?"

He normally wouldn't have had such a hard time with it, but being put in the spotlight like that made it overly awkward for some reason.

"Almost… But I've got something better for you." Vegeta said, as he cupped Goku's chin. He didn't hesitate before recapturing Goku's lips.

"Now I want you to go take care of your business and make sure you brush your teeth." He instructed after the broke the kiss.

"Alright." Goku replied before heading to the bathroom.

Vegeta stayed close to the door, waiting for him to finish.

"Hey, Vegeta? Where's the razor at? I can't seem to find it." Goku peeked his head out of the door.

"What do you need it for?" Vegeta wanted to know.

"I… need to shave my arms." Goku said.

"Oh, let me in, I'll get it for you." Vegeta stepped inside of the room, grabbing the box and unlocking it with the key which he had put in his uniform, pulling out Goku's safety razor.

"I probably should have mentioned this before, but… from now on… all of the sharp objects are staying with me…" Vegeta said in a low voice. "Also… I found your razor blade earlier… Was that what you used to cut your leg with?"

"...Yeah… Sorry…" Goku lowered his head in shame.

"It's fine, but, from now on, if you need anything, you come to me and ask for it, you don't mess with this box. Are we clear on that?" Vegeta asked.

"Mhm…" Down deep, Goku understood why Vegeta was doing this. But it was still a bit upsetting that he didn't even trust him with simple tasks like shaving anymore.

"Good… Alright... I'm going to trust you to return this to me when you're done but I will not leave your side until this razor is back in my hand. Here…" Vegeta said with some sternness as he handed it to Goku. Upon receiving a small 'kay', he watched in silence as Goku shaved, making sure he didn't try anything. 'Safety razor' or not, it could still be used to hurt himself if he wanted to.

"I'm done." Goku said after a few minutes.

Vegeta felt a wave of relief pass over him when Goku finally gave it back to him. He slipped it into the box and locked it back up.

"W-What are these?! Vegeta, you left marks all over me…!" Goku exclaimed as he stood in front of the mirror. He rubbed at his neck in embarrassment, wanting to cover them up.

"What, don't tell me you just now noticed them." Vegeta mocked with amusement.

"Well, yeah, sort of…" Goku admitted, flustered. "I hadn't checked the mirror before. People are gonna think you hurt me or something…"

"I highly doubt that." Vegeta said.

"But my neck is all bruised, what else would they think…?" Goku seemed a bit frantic.

Vegeta paused. "...Kakarot, don't you know what a hickey is?"

"A what…?" Goku asked.

"A hickey…" Vegeta was stunned, when Goku stared at him in confusion like he had never heard the word before. "No way…, you really don't know, do you…?"

"No, not exactly, anyway…" Goku said, awkwardly. "Could you maybe explain it to me?"

"...Well, a hickey is something that forms from an intense suction on your skin. Bulma, she often… liked to call them… love bites." Vegeta's ears heated up, his voice growing quieter with the last words.

Why am I even having to explain something like this…?

"...Love… bites…?" Goku was flustered as the words left his mouth. "But if that's true…, then won't Whis and Lord Beerus… know you've been kissin' on me…?"

Down deep, some part of Vegeta realized he may have gotten carried away, as hickeys were often perceived as the aftermath of something sexual, but he refused to make any apologies for it.

"So? Is that a bad thing? Maybe I want them to know." He smirked as he approached him, slowly reaching up and embracing him from behind.

"This…" He dug his teeth into Goku's neck just as he had the night before, causing the man's face to turn bright red. "is my way of laying claims on you. That way everybody will know that you belong to me now…"

He moved upwards, purring into his ear in a teasing manner, "Besides, you've been marked by royalty... You should be honored..."

More than anything, Goku needed to know that he was wanted right now, so telling him to hide his marks wasn't an option. Vegeta wanted them to know. He wanted to show Goku off to the entire universe just to say, "Hands off. He's mine."

"Fine, but I wanna mark you as well…" Goku said, turning around and leaning down towards his neck.

"W-What? Now, just hold on!" Startled, Vegeta pushed him back, blushing furiously as he denied him access. "You will do no such thing. We have chores to do."

"Oh come on, that's not fair, Vegeta…" Goku pouted. "Why do you get to bite me, but I can't do the same to you?"

"Because I said so, that's why, now get going." Vegeta replied simply, causing Goku's expression to turn even more sour than before.

"...Jerk." Goku wasn't happy at first, but reluctantly pranced off in response, his mood quickly shifting back to normal almost immediately after.

Vegeta followed after him, eventually taking the lead.

…

Goku and Vegeta soon found themselves surrounded by a pile of fish bowls.

Vegeta had to keep watching Goku out of the corner of his eye to make sure he was cleaning them well enough. It seemed that he could do decently enough if he actually tried, although there were a few that Vegeta himself had to go back over, because unlike Goku, who would be content going half way with stuff like this, Vegeta had a keen eye for remaining grime and wouldn't rest until it was perfect.

A fowl odor had filled the air, which Goku didn't hesitate to mention, as always.

"Man, it really stinks in here… I wish we had some air freshener…" He grumbled.

"Stop your complaining already. You should just be glad we don't have to do this sort of thing every day…" Vegeta muttered, as he finished scrubbing down the one that he was holding.

"Yeah, I know, but still… It's troublesome enough doing it as much as we do." Goku said. "I like being here and all but the chores are always such a hassle."

"You're such a baby…" Vegeta was long since used to hearing Goku complain, so he eventually tuned it out.

At some point, Whis peaked his head in through the door. "How's the fish bowls coming along, boys?"

"Oh, hey, Whis!" Goku looked up, smiling.

"We should be done shortly, we're almost-" Vegeta started to say. In that moment, however, he was cut off by the sound of shattering glass. He looked beside him to see that Goku had dropped one of the bowls by accident.

"Oh, crap, I shattered it…, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to break it!" Goku stammered. "I-I swear it won't happen again…! So please… don't be mad at me, or make me go back to earth over this, I'm begging you…"

Vegeta glanced up at him upon hearing that. It wasn't the broken bowl that bothered him, it was the expression on Goku's face. He looked terrified.

Over a fish bowl? No, Whis isn't the type of person who would lose his temper over something like that when he could just as easily fix it…

This has to be something else…

So what could have Kakarot so afraid like this?

This was more than just an apology, it was along the lines of a mental breakdown.

"Goku, I'm not mad at you and nor am I making you back to Earth. I have the ability to repair stuff, remember?" Whis approached him, but Goku wasn't all there.

"Look, I'll even clean it up so that way you don't have to…" Goku trembled, as if he hadn't even heard him.

Vegeta's stomach dropped when he saw him reaching out for the glass shards.

"Hey, don't touch those." He instinctively grabbed his hand, panic causing his heart to pound in his chest like never before. "It's okay… Whis already said that he'd fix it, so just… try to calm down… It's not the end of the world."

After a second, Goku's tears subsided as he watched Whis do his magic, reverting the fishbowl to its previous state.

"There. Good as new." Whis beamed, now holding it in his hand.

Unfortunately, Goku still seemed somewhat out of it.

"Now… mind telling me what that was about…? Kakarot…" Vegeta asked with concern, forcing him to face him.

Despite his efforts, however, Goku stubbornly continued refusing eye contact. Something was definitely off.

"It's… not important… I'm sorry, Whis… I… I really screwed up…" Goku said.

"You don't need to apologize. I'm fully aware that accidents happen. All that matters to me is that you do your job to the best of your ability." Whis then looked at the other Saiyan when he got no response. "I'll leave this matter to you, Vegeta. I trust you have it handled?"

"Yes." Vegeta affirmed.

Whis smiled before making his exit.

Vegeta let out a sigh, turning his attention back to Goku, who clearly wasn't in the mindset to do much of anything and needed a bit to regain his previous vigor.

"I'm going to put these back on the shelf. For now, I just want you to relax." He instructed, gathering several bowls in his arms, before floating up into the air and laying them out neatly across the top shelf.

He repeated the process multiple times until all the cleaned bowls were off the floor.

There were only five left now that needed to be scrubbed down, Goku had just started working on one of them. Vegeta sat down next to him to deal with the others.

After a bit, Goku finished his, putting the fishbowl beside them. "Hey, Vegeta? I need to go to the bathroom."

"...Well, whatever, just try not to take too long…" Vegeta told him, distracted.

"I won't…" was Goku's only response as he left the room.

Instead of going to the bathroom, however, he headed towards the kitchen, his head spinning. He was desperate to calm himself down; to breathe again.

He couldn't tell Vegeta the real reason that he got upset. That it had reminded him of all the times he had broken things; all the times he had been insulted and yelled at for it. He couldn't say that that was what he was afraid of.

He didn't even know how to explain it.

That 'mistakes' like that didn't ever fly with her.

He had to be better.

All of this over a stupid fishbowl…

Why is my chest hurting so much?

I gotta calm down.

Vegeta had taken away his blade and knives, so he couldn't use those anymore.

So his only other option was to find some elsewhere. When he finally reached his destination, he immediately shuffled through the drawers and found what he was looking for.

A knife. It had a sheath on it to not only protect the blade but more so because of how sharp it was.

Separating the knife from its cover, he crouched down on the floor, facing the drawers and held the blade up to his wrist, fully prepared to slice into his arm.

Or so he thought.

All of a sudden, a pang of guilt hit him.

No…

What's wrong with me…?

Vegeta trusted me to go to the bathroom.

If he finds out I lied to him, he's gonna be mad at me.

I can't do this…

Not now…

After a long moment of hesitation, he put the knife back in the sheath, and just held it there, taking in a deep breath.

"Goku?" Whis's voice spoke out from behind him, startling him.

Goku didn't even have a moment to properly formulate a response, so without thinking, he immediately shoved the knife into his boot and jumped up, turning towards him.

"O-oh, hey there, Whis." He stammered nervously. "What's up?

"I should be asking you that. I thought you were supposed to be doing chores." Whis's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Well, uh, you see… I was sorta taking a little break, but I promise I'm gonna go and finish them up right now, so I'll see you later, okay? Bye!" Goku nervously ran off before Whis could even reply.

When Goku was gone, Whis opened the drawer, which was slightly ajar, to discover the missing knife. "Ah. So that's why he was here… Perhaps I should have locked them up, after all..."

…

That day, Goku backed down in the middle of his sparring match with Vegeta.

It wasn't that he wanted to, but the physical contact was just too overwhelming for him. He was having trouble focusing.

A fairly common occurrence nowadays, not the backing out of a fight thing, but being reminded of his trauma in the midst of combat.

Even Whis had been able to tell that his fear of physical contact had been inhibiting his movements.

And the worst thing about it was that it was the littlest of things that set him off sometimes.

His hair being pulled.

His arms being grabbed.

His legs being touched, as well as other places like his chest and backside.

As they exchanged blows, Goku had tried his best to ignore the flashbacks running through his head, wanting more than anything to keep his focus on the physical pain brought forth by the punches that Vegeta had managed to land on him. And, for a while, it worked, it grounded him.

But all of that came to a crashing halt when Vegeta happened to brush a hand across the fabric resting over his tail scar. For whatever reason, the area was unusually sensitive today as it had been for a while now, so the contact had completely caught him off guard.

Vegeta was so distracted by the heat of the battle that he didn't realize the reason why Goku had left himself open for attack.

So he acted without hesitation, kicking his feet out from under him and knocking him off balance. Grabbing his wrist and neck, he slammed him into the ground from behind.

The sheer impact knocked the breath out of him, causing him to cough up blood.

"Come on, Kakarot. Don't tell me this is all you've got." Vegeta chastised him, keeping his hold on him and preventing him from getting back up. "I know you can do better than this."

Goku dug the fingernails of his free hand into the dirt, clenching his fist. "Look, I'm trying, okay…? But…"

He trailed off in frustration.

Vegeta was quiet for a moment, before letting go of him.

He then stood up, folding his arms authoritatively. "Get back on your feet."

"What?" Goku looked up at him.

"You heard me. I said get up." Vegeta told him.

Goku slowly did as told, his bangs shadowing his eyes.

"Now. I want you to come at me again. And don't hold anything back this time." Vegeta said.

"...Wait, Vegeta…" Goku fidgeted with the fabric of his pants.

"What now?" Vegeta asked, when he saw that Goku was refusing eye contact again.

"It's just… Can we… stop this…?" Goku struggled to ask.

"You want to quit? Why? What for?" Taking a step towards him, Vegeta reached a hand up towards his face. "Kakarot-"

He cut himself off when Goku tensed up.

"It's nothing…" Goku turned his head away. "But would you mind not touching me right now…? Please…? You can spar with Whis or something."

"...Yeah, but…" Vegeta slowly began to realize it was trauma related and pulled his hand back. "Are you sure you're alright? If you need me to stay with you right now-"

"I'm fine," Goku assured him. "I just need a moment…"

Vegeta didn't like the way that sounded.

"...Then… I want you to go and rest by the tree over there… at least until you've calmed down some." Vegeta said.

"Can't I just go back to our bedroom instead…?" Goku asked.

"No." Vegeta knew fully well what that potentially meant and couldn't risk it. Even though he had gotten rid of the weapons in their room he couldn't take any risks. "I can't have you wandering off right now… We both know what happens when you get like this."

"I won't do anything, though, I swear." Goku said.

"...You've told me that before, remember…? And then I found cuts on your leg…" Vegeta argued.

"Yeah, but this time is different." Goku insisted. "I can just use one of my fidgets if I get upset, like you wanted me to."

"You said they didn't work for you…" Vegeta muttered.

"Well, sure, they don't work as much as I'd like them to, but they're better than nothing, right?" Goku tried to rationalize it. "Come on, please?"

Vegeta truly wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but something told him it wasn't a good idea. "And you don't… have any sharp objects on you?"

Vegeta disliked having to be in the position to ask such a thing, but he knew it was necessary to ensure his safety.

"No." Goku's response was weak.

"I see. Then-" Vegeta was about to open his mouth to let him go, but a voice caught his attention.

"No? How odd. I explicitly recall seeing you slip something into your boot earlier, Goku." Whis quipped, causing Goku to jolt. His eyes narrowed. "What was it again? Ah yes, that's right, I think it was a knife. You would do well not to lie to him."

Vegeta immediately turned an accusative gaze at Goku in disbelief. "A knife? Again? What the actual hell, Kakarot?!"

Goku edged back at his harsh tone, somehow feeling betrayed by Whis for ratting him out.

"Take off your shoes right now." Vegeta ordered, in a bit of a lower voice, but remaining stern.

"But it's not-"

"I said now."

When Vegeta gave a command like that, it was impossible for Goku to disobey, so reluctantly he did as told, not saying a word.

Sure enough, Whis was right, Goku had a knife in his shoe.

A knife.

And one that Vegeta recognized all too well. He reached out and snatched it from him.

Multiple thoughts ran through his head at once, trying to process it. Goku had asked to use the bathroom earlier. He must have gone to the kitchen instead.

"Damn it, is this really what you want?! I can't even take my eyes off of you for two seconds without you trying to find something else to hurt yourself with…! What's worse is that you lied to me about it!" Vegeta snapped, a pain-filled expression on his face.

"It's not like that, okay?" Goku finally retorted, startling him. "I didn't… even do anything with it… I mean, I was going to, but… I stopped myself because I knew it'd upset you again and I didn't want to do that… I just… never had a chance to put it back up… so…" Goku bowed his head in shame, causing a pang of guilt to rise inside of Vegeta's chest.

But for some reason or another, Vegeta was too prideful to simply apologize this time. Of course he was. So instead of dropping it like maybe he should have, he continued the argument.

"Oh, yeah, sure, that's real convenient for you to say now, isn't it? But tell me, why should I believe you when you keep turning around and doing the exact opposite of what I've told you to?! Does your life honestly have this little value to you?!" Vegeta shouted, exasperated.

"...I… Look, I'm... sorry, okay…?" Goku stepped back at realizing just how upset Vegeta was at him over this. His throat burned. "I already know I screwed up, like I always do, just please… don't yell at me…"

Vegeta's eyes widened slightly, feeling worse than ever.

"You really think you're bothering me by asking for help?! Goddamn it, you idiot, I wouldn't be here with you right now if I didn't want to be! Haven't you realized that by now? The only thing that's bothering me is the fact that you've been hurting yourself. And now you decide to use my box cutter?! Why do you keep doing this? Surely, you can't believe this shit is actually helping you! This isn't healthy! It's foolish!"

"I know that! I just… I'm sorry, okay? Please… don't be mad at me…"

Their conversation from months before flashed through his mind, making him realize he had repeated the same mistake again.

God, I'm such an idiot. How could I even say that to him…?

"Kakarot-" Vegeta started to reach out a hand towards Goku, who once again tensed up at the close proximity.

"That is quite enough, you two." The angel scolded, smacking the prince on the head with his staff.

Vegeta flinched, but down deep, he knew he probably deserved that.

"As I'm sure you're aware by now, fussing at him over this isn't going to make the situation any better, Vegeta." The angel said. "I think you owe Goku an apology."

Although Whis had a seemingly neutral stance on many things, he could be strict and stern when he wanted to be. He'd even scolded and corrected Beerus on occasion.

"...I'm… sorry… I shouldn't have said that…" Vegeta finally pushed back his pride enough to do as told. He wanted to say more, but the words wouldn't come out.

Whis then turned his gaze to the other Saiyan, whose expression had softened somewhat at hearing Vegeta's apology. "As for you, Goku… I'm going to be keeping all of the sharp objects under lock and key from now on. So if you need anything, then you are to ask either Vegeta, myself or Lord Beerus for it. Do you understand?"

His instructions were very similar to the ones Vegeta had given him this morning about the box, but there was no way of getting around this one.

Although it was hard to understand why Whis was putting his foot down over something like this despite having said previously that he wasn't going to get involved or try to stop him.

Was it because Beerus wouldn't have been too happy if he found out that Goku was potentially using their knives on his planet for such a thing?

Was it to protect the sanctity of their home?

Or maybe it was because on some level, Whis did care about Goku.

Who was to say?

They weren't about to ask. Especially not Vegeta, because, whatever the reason, this worked out in his favor.

"Mhm..." Goku knew he was in no place to argue.

Vegeta gave a shaky sigh before passing the knife to Whis, keeping his head turned away. "Here, take this… It's yours, right…?"

"Thank you." Whis took it, before looking over at Goku, who started to walk off. "Hold on a moment, Goku. May I ask where you're going?"

"...I'm gonna go and sit by the tree… like Vegeta told me to do, earlier…" Goku mumbled.

Vegeta briefly met his gaze as the other Saiyan walked off.

"Are you sure you don't want to go after him? He does seem pretty upset." Whis observed.

"I shouldn't. If I try to talk to him now, I'll just make everything worse. I need some time to calm down first…" In that moment, part of Vegeta had suddenly started to wonder if Goku's issues today were because of him.

Of course, something had upset him earlier as well, but even things as simple as being kissed and bit on the neck could be triggering or overwhelming for somebody with sexual trauma, so, as far as he knew, it could have been a mix of reasons why.

These doubts had been actively plaguing the back of his mind since the very moment he had asked Goku for permission to do it.

Did I go too far?

Or do something that scared him?

Maybe he was just too afraid to say that he wasn't comfortable because he didn't want to hurt my feelings…

So is it possible that him grabbing a knife was partly my fault then?

Could that also be… why he backed down during our sparring match earlier?

Because of the physical contact?

He has seemed a bit tense…

Damn it…

The questions consumed him.

"So I take it you're choosing to spar, after all?" Whis interrupted his thoughts.

Vegeta didn't hesitate to give his answer. "Yeah."

…

Goku slid down against the tree, watching from a distance as Vegeta sparred with Whis.

"I can't even take my eyes off of you for two seconds without you picking something up to hurt yourself with… What's worse is that you even lied to me about it! Does your life honestly have this little value to you?!"

He covered his face in his hands to calm his nerves, remembering how angry Vegeta was. Tears welled up in his eyes.

How can it mean anything more?

Everything about me is wrong…

If it wasn't, then none of that would have happened in the place.

I wouldn't have been so stupid.

Everybody says I play around too much…

That I drop my guard too easily…

That I'm too trusting.

They're all right about me.

I do…

I've always been that way.

Even against Raditz… Piccolo could tell he was lying, but I wanted to trust him.

He was supposed to be my brother.

My family.

Then he attacked me anyway, even though I was gonna let him go.

He said he'd leave another time too, right before Piccolo killed us.

Sometimes, I almost wonder if he was telling me the truth.

But he said I was stupid for believing him the first time, so why would the second time have been any different?

He was lying, right?

Yeah, he had to be…

Then again, how could I know?

I don't recognize those things…

That's why the same thing has happened with Frieza too… and not just once, but multiple times. All because I let my guard down around him.

Whis had once said that Goku and Vegeta would make a great team if they actually worked together, and maybe it was true in some ways.

Vegeta had had to come to his rescue and cover his ass so many times he'd lost count and so often because of the same mistakes that he somehow failed to learn from.

All I've been doing is holding him back…

And now Whis says he's going to lock up the knives because I can't control my emotions anymore…

Vegeta too…

Maybe he was right to get angry…

I know he's just worried about me…

But everything hurts… I just want this pain to go away…

I can't even do the things I enjoy anymore without being reminded of him…

I used to be stronger than this…

Able to handle things better…

So why can't I just suck it up and move on?

I feel like everything around me is falling to shit.

I already lost Chichi…

But I don't want to lose Vegeta too…

I can't…

Not because of something like this…

I need to apologize…

As that thought hit him, he suddenly felt some drops of water hit his head.

Goku paused for a moment.

Is it… raining?

It rarely ever rains here.

Although it wasn't too much of a surprise. Beerus's world did have an ecosystem. It had clouds and plants too. So obviously they needed water.

Over time, the rain began to pour down heavier and heavier until he was soaked.

Despite, that he didn't mind. He disliked thunder(he always had), but he found the sound of rain by itself to be calming. He pulled his legs against his chest, resting his forehead between his knees.

"Hey…" A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts.

Goku uncovered face to see that Vegeta had knelt down in front of him.

"How are you feeling…?" The prince asked, his expression softer than it was earlier. He too was soaked by the rain. "Any better…?"

"Some, I guess…" Goku could only imagine the reason why Vegeta wasn't sparring with Whis anymore was because of the weather.

"You sure…? You can be honest with me, you know… If you aren't, then just say so… I'm not going to judge you…" Vegeta said.

"... Honestly, I feel like crap right now." Goku finally admitted.

"Yeah, I figured as much… I went overboard earlier… I'm sorry…" Vegeta mumbled.

"It's okay…" Goku assured softly. "You were just… worried about me, right…? If anything, I'm the one who should be saying sorry right now… I went and grabbed a knife when I told you I was going to the bathroom… I lied to you… so I get why you're upset… "

"Regardless, the way I reacted earlier was wrong…" Vegeta said. "I should have been praising you…"

"Praising me? For what?" Goku tried to blink the liquid out of his eyes.

"You didn't hurt yourself… even though you had the opportunity to…" Vegeta glanced away. "I'm proud of you for that…"

"I thought you didn't believe me…"

"Well, I was lying... I said a lot of shit I shouldn't have…" Vegeta replied.

"So then…" Goku uttered, awkwardly. "You're not… still mad at me…?"

"No, not at all." Vegeta took Goku's hand into his own, kissing his fingers in a slightly flirtatious manner. "How could I possibly stay mad at you…, Kakarot…?"

Goku blushed at the gesture.

"I guess we both screwed up then, huh…?" He murmured, with a small smile.

"Yeah…" Vegeta said. "Still… I do… have one question, though, and I want you to be completely honest with me. That means no holding back for my sake." Vegeta said.

"What is it?" Goku met his gaze with hesitation.

"...It's about… last night… I didn't… make you uncomfortable, did I?" Vegeta wanted to know. "Even… something as simple as kissing, or physical contact… I know it can be hard sometimes, so I thought… maybe… I had scared you somehow… That that was why you… took Whis's knife… and why you were so tense earlier… You even… dropped out of our sparring match… You've never… done anything like that before, aside from that day that you were…" Vegeta trailed off. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if any of this was because of him.

"Hey, it's nothing like that… You haven't done anything wrong… It's just… there's something I need to tell you." Goku's voice became uneven, preparing himself for the risk of never being forgiven. "And I want you… to promise that you won't be disappointed in me…"

"Of course. You can tell me anything…" Vegeta insisted.

Goku swallowed, allowing his hair to fall in his face. His voice was barely audible and his shoulders were trembling. "I think… I need to stop fighting for a while… I don't want to, but… it seems like… when I'm… exchanging blows with people, with you, all I can think about is him, and I want it to stop…"

Vegeta was stunned for a moment by the confession, not even knowing what to think at first. Some part of him almost wanted to scream no.

And, in the past, he might have called him a coward for making such a seemingly rash decision, or said something along the lines of, "So that's it? You're just going to give up?! Let this one man destroy you?! You can't be serious right now! Where is your honor? Your Saiyan pride?! You make me sick!"

However, this was no rash decision. Because Goku loved fighting, more than anything else. But this had been building up and escalating for months, and as things stood now, Vegeta knew he was nobody to talk, because he too had stopped fighting once, after Goku died.

He had no place to interfere.

Besides, his feelings for Goku had nothing to do with him being a fighter. Just as he had fallen for Bulma, who was but a mere scientist. So to say that such a thing would not only be unfair to Goku, but also cruel.

No, if he truly cared about Goku as he claimed he did, then he had to accept this decision, as painful as it may be.

Leaning forward, he cupped Goku's chin and kissed him - so tenderly - if only to reassure him that everything would be okay.

"I understand…" Fingers running through his hair, he embraced him. "If that's really what you need right now… then I'll support you…"

All Goku could do in response was break down in tears, for what he was sure was the thousandth time over the past few months.

…

Goku still hadn't touched his meal from the night before. He couldn't. Even thinking about eating right now made him sick. But this wasn't the first time. He hadn't been able to comfortably stomach much of anything lately, partly because of the nightmares, but a mix of multiple reasons.

Although his appetite fluctuated a lot, he had always tried to eat before, but because of that, he would often find himself regretting it afterwards. It was like he was like he was losing control again, and he hated that, just like when Vegeta offered to take him back to the restaurant he liked so much.

That's why he chose not to go to the kitchen, because he knew how tempting the food would be.

His body was supposed to be the one thing in his life that he could do to what he wanted. Yet he had no control over his body when that man raped him; When he got erect against his will.

Even if Vegeta and Whis had taken away his knives, at least he could control what went into his body now.

Or so he thought. Vegeta had different plans apparently.

"Kakarot, wake up. I brought back some of the food that Whis made. I think you might like it." Vegeta found himself standing over a resting Goku, who had chosen to skip dinner yet again. His hands were full, between the cup of water he brought back and the container of meats and vegetables, so he used his foot to get Goku's attention, shaking his shoulder.

"Huh?" Goku turned over to look at him, still feeling tired.

Vegeta held them out for him to take. "Here. Sit up. I want you to eat this."

"I told you I'm not hungry." Goku murmured.

"I know, but you can't function on an empty stomach. It's only going to make you feel worse." Vegeta said.

Goku sat up, readily taking the water, but still wouldn't touch the food.

As he drank from the cup, his hand was trembling. If it was any worse off, Goku probably would have dropped it. Actually, he almost did, so Vegeta had to help brace his hand under it somewhat.

"Look at yourself. You're shaking." Vegeta scolded lightly, before pressing the food up to him. "Come on, I'd rather you not pass out on me because your blood sugar got too low…"

Saiyans had a larger appetite than humans because they metabolized food much faster. Therefore, that meant they also needed to take in more calories to not only maintain their weight and survive, but also to keep up their energy. This was especially prominent with Goku. He had had issues before with near about collapsing if he didn't eat anything by a certain point.

Because of this, Vegeta knew fully well that going without wasn't an option the other Saiyan could afford for long.

And yet, despite his tremors, Goku stubbornly refused the food. "It'll just make me sick."

"What-Sick? How? Like you'll throw up?" Vegeta pressed, slightly concerned.

"It's… not important. I'll eat later…" Goku gulped down the water, handing him back the cup. He forced a smile. "Here. Thanks…"

"Alright, fine… but I'm still expecting you to eat something tomorrow." Vegeta caved. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Vegeta dismissed himself, returning the cup to the kitchen and washing it off.

When he returned, Goku had already laid back down to go to sleep. In the end, Vegeta crawled in the bed next to him and pulled him into his arms, deciding not to put any further pressure on him despite knowing fully well that Goku had no intentions of actually eating.

…

The next day, Goku's tremors got noticeably worse as another wave of hunger passed over him after they had finished clearing the lawn.

And it wasn't just his hands and arms this time, it was his legs too, but he tried to ignore it at first.

"Man, this stuff really causes you to work up a sweat, doesn't it?" He wiped his brow. "Then again, I did fieldwork like this a lot while I was with Chichi, so I'm kinda used to it by now. Oh, hey, didn't you say we were gonna be sweeping the trees next?"

"Yeah." Vegeta confirmed. "We should probably go ahead and start heading there now, but we need to get the brooms first."

"Alright." Goku said, before he and Vegeta flew off, then gathering what they needed.

As Vegeta focused on the task at hand, Goku continued chattering up a storm about anything and everything that popped into his head, mainly out of nerves from the otherwise silence between them. Vegeta never had been one for casual conversations.

""You know... It does seem kinda strange to sweep trees, dontcha think? Back on Earth, we'd never… hav'ta do something like this…" Upon reaching their destination, Goku suddenly felt light headed, almost losing his balance and falling backwards. "Woah…!"

"Hey, be careful." Vegeta scolded, wrapping an arm around him to catch him by his waist.

"Whoops, guess I kinda lost my balance for a moment there." Goku giggled, standing back upright. "Thanks for catching me, haha."

"Yeah, whatever… Idiot…" Vegeta scoffed, before letting go of him. "Here, take your broom."

Goku grabbed it and almost immediately got to work. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before another wave of light-headedness hit him.

Pausing, he clutched his head to fight off the stars invading his vision.

The lightheaded feeling quickly began to intensify, however, his sight starting to fade to black. Once again, he almost lost his footing, but managed to catch himself this time.

"Damn…" He knew his body was asking him to sit down, but he couldn't.

Come on, I have to keep going. There's only a few more tasks and then I can rest. I can't… disappoint him…

"Kakarot…? What's wrong?" He could hear Vegeta ask. But his voice was muffled along with the rest of his surroundings.

"'s nothing… I just… need a moment…" Goku slurred.

It was at this point that it got to be too much. His legs gave out and he collapsed, the broom falling out of his hand and on the ground beneath the tree.

"Kakarot…!" Vegeta's heart skipped a beat at the sight. He rushed over in a panic. "Are you okay…?! Hey, talk to me…!"

"Sorry… I got a lil dizzy… Not… feeling well…" Goku was barely responsive, but he was conscious.

"...Listen, I'm taking you back to bed. I don't know what's going on, but we're going to figure this out." Vegeta lifted him in his arms, rushing him to their bedroom and laying him down on bed.

Feeling how hot Goku was, Vegeta ran to the bathroom, taking some time to run a clean rag under cold water.

He came back and rubbed it around his face to wipe some of the sweat off of his face, neck and even his chest, a place he would have never touched otherwise without Goku's consent.

He said he was feeling dizzy.

Is it because he's not eaten anything…?

Shit…

Goku started to close his eyes, but Vegeta wouldn't let him. Not yet.

"Kakarot, hey, I need you to keep your eyes open, so I know you're still conscious." He was desperate to keep Goku's attention.

After a moment, Goku lulled his eyes back open, slowly. They were half lidded, but it was a better confirmation than none. "I'm… sorry, Vegeta… I really screwed up…"

"It's okay, I'm going to go and get you some food and water from the kitchen…" Vegeta said, folding the cold rag and placing it on Goku's forehead. "I'll be back in a few minutes…"

"Mn."

Vegeta couldn't tell by the sound what he meant, but he was more focused on retrieving the food.

He went to the kitchen, picked up a random pack of crackers and some sort of fruit that resembled an orange in many ways but was purple, bringing them back to the room with him alongside some water. Surely, they would be better than nothing.

Vegeta sat criss crossed on the bed next to him, making no hesitation to peel the fruit. He then ripped it in slices, putting one up to Goku's mouth. "Here, try this…"

Goku turned his face away, rejecting it.

"Kakarot, please… You don't have to eat a lot, but starving yourself like this is out of the question. Do it for me…?" Vegeta encouraged softly.

After a moment, Goku hesitantly complied, doing as told. His eyes lit up a bit as he swallowed the fruit, a cold sensation hitting his stomach when the juice of the fruit went down. The taste of it, whatever it was, was a perfect mix of sweet and sour.

Vegeta felt some relief as he watched Goku eat it. He smiled softly. "See? It tastes good, doesn't it?"

"Mhm…" Goku uttered.

"You want some more?" Vegeta offered with fondness at his expression.

A small nod.

Slice by slice, Goku finished it off.

Vegeta moved the peelings to the side. "I'm going to give you some crackers now. I want you to eat some of these as well…"

"Kay..."

After a moment, Vegeta continued to feed him until half the pack was gone, at which point Goku pulled away and adamantly refused, "Please, no more."

"Then you don't have to." He then gave him the cup he had. "Here… can you try to drink some of this? It's water."

Goku swallowed it all down, only then realizing just how thirsty he had been. "I feel sick…"

"It's probably because you haven't eaten properly the past couple days." Vegeta said.

"No, it's not that…" Goku argued. "It's just… everytime I do… it… makes me wanna throw up…"

"It-What…? Kakarot, how long… has this been going on for..?" Vegeta had to take a moment to process what he was even saying.

"A few weeks," Goku paused. "I think…"

"A few weeks…? Why didn't you tell somebody…?" Vegeta asked, taking the cup from him.

It was a bit frustrating to know. Goku's way of taking action was letting his feelings bottle up then make rash decisions seemingly out of nowhere like this to "fix" the issue. Such as suddenly going without food for three days in a row to so it nearly caused him to faint.

"I didn't... think it was important to mention." Goku said.

"Of course it's important, you idiot. You're depriving your body of what it needs to function because of this. I would think at least one of us ought to know that." Vegeta insisted, reaching out and stopping him from turning his head away. "Hey, look at me, if it's… the food that's bothering you, then I'm sure Whis could help find you something else that would be easier for you to stomach… There's no reason you should have to go without."

"It's… not just the food, though…" Goku mumbled. "I... always feel bad for some reason."

"And why do you think you feel bad…?" Vegeta asked, patiently.

"I dunno… I start… thinking about… that stuff, when he made me…" Goku couldn't even say it. There were many other reasons as well, but he couldn't mention them.

"I understand…" Vegeta replied gently, as he ran some fingers through his hair, already having an idea of what he was referring to. "Still… I want you to try to hold it down, alright…? I'll talk to Whis later and see if he can come up with something. I'm throwing these peelings away."

Vegeta brought them to the bathroom, tossing them into the trash and washing his hands to get rid of the sticky feeling.

After Vegeta came back, he stayed with him, quietly playing with his hair until Goku's tremors had finally died down.

"It looks like you've stopped shaking, at least. That's a good thing." Vegeta commented, breaking the silence.

"Yeah…" Goku smiled softly. "I'm really sorry… I feel like I'm holding you back again…"

That was yet another time he had apologized over this.

"You're not holding me back… I came here for you…" Vegeta assured him, caressing his face. "Listen, I'm about to go and finish up the chores now… Will you be alright if I leave you here?"

"Yeah…" Goku repeated.

Vegeta's chest clenched. "If you need something, I want you to come to me… or call. You can use telepathy, yeah?"

"Mhm."

"I'll leave the rest of these crackers here for you, so you can eat them if you get hungry."

"Kay."

Leaning down, Vegeta pecked him on the cheek. "I'll see you later…"

Tired but hopeful eyes stared up at him. "Mn. I love you…"

…There were those words yet again. And yet again, Vegeta didn't know how to respond.

Goku said that far too easily.

Just as Bulma had.

He swallowed, cupping his chin and kissing him much like he had done so the day before. "I want you to get some rest. You're welcome to come join me if you start to feel any better."

"kay…" Goku said, secretly feeling a bit insecure at the fact that Vegeta still avoided saying that to him, a voice in the back of his mind telling him that he wasn't good enough.

He tried to ignore the stinging feeling in his throat, because Vegeta had been doing everything for him, and taking care of him, so, even if he wouldn't say the words, he proved it through his actions.

Or that's what the rational side of Goku's head said. But the voices at the back of his mind were anything but.

They told him a much different story; That Vegeta was starting to get tired of this - of him. That he was only pretending to be nice; pretending to care about him.

It told him that Vegeta would eventually find him to be too much to handle and leave him.

Goku didn't want that.

In that moment, he wanted to reach out and ask him to kiss him once more, to feel his arms around him for some kind of reassurance that Vegeta loved him as much as he loved Vegeta.

But no words would come out. Instead, Goku simply watched in silence as the other Saiyan left the room.

…

Vegeta made his way to the kitchen, washing the cup under the sink and returning it to the appropriate spot.

He then made fast work in finishing up the rest of the chores.

…

"Where's Goku? Is he still feeling unwell…?" Whis asked, when Vegeta finally approached him for training.

"Yeah... Actually, Kakarot won't be fighting again for a while. But enough about him. He's not the one you should be focused on right now." Vegeta pointed a thumb at his chest, deflecting the conversion. "I am…"

"Oh?" Whis raised an eyebrow with a small smirk, before dropping the subject. "Then you may come at me whenever you'd like, Vegeta..."

Vegeta drew in a breath, closing his eyes to gather his thoughts.

If Kakarot can't fight right now, then that means I'll have to cover for the both of us…

More than anything, I need to focus on getting stronger, so I can protect him. My family as well.

They're all counting on me…

And I will not let them down…

Finally preparing his fighting stance, he took a moment to look for any openings. Of course, there weren't any, because it was Whis he was up against. But he knew he had to start somewhere. So, in the end, he advanced towards him regardless.

…

Once Vegeta was done sparring with Whis, he finally decided to ask him about his concerns regarding Goku's appetite.

"A liquid diet?" Whis seemed a bit surprised as the subject was brought up.

"Yeah…" Vegeta said. "…He says he's been… having trouble keeping his food down."

"I see…" Whis pondered it. "Well, I might have something, yes. But it isn't really something I recommend by itself. Do you think he could handle some light soup?"

"Maybe…?" Vegeta mused. "I guess he could try that."

"Wonderful. I'll have something prepared for him tonight." Whis beamed.

"...Thanks." Vegeta replied.

For a moment, nobody said much until Whis broke the silence again. "Oh, speaking of which, I couldn't help but notice you left quite the bruises on him before. In the future, you might want to be less obvious."

Vegeta's eyes widened slightly, a blush covering his face when he realized the angel was referring to the hickeys on Goku's neck. He immediately looked away. "...Tch, whatever, Kakarot is mine, so I'll bite him wherever I please. The rest of the universe can go to hell for all I care."

"Oh my, how scary…" Whis held a hand up to his mouth with clear amusement. "Is that your way of marking your territory, then…?"

"Yeah, that's right..." Vegeta offered a smug smirk of his own. "So that means hands off."

…

"Here, take these. I had Whis make them for you." Vegeta later found himself in the same boat as the day before, bringing back dinner for Goku in hopes that he would eat.

"What are they?" Goku wanted to know.

"Vegetable soup and a fruit shake." Vegeta said.

"A shake…?" Goku inquired, eyeing him curiously.

"Yeah, and it's all natural too!" Vegeta grinned at hearing that his lover's interest had been piqued, crouching down in front of the bed so he and Goku were at eye level. He held it out for him. "You want it?"

Goku gave a small nod before sitting up. He was distrustful at first, but took a sip of the shake.

"How does it taste?" Vegeta asked after he swallowed.

"...It's… good." Goku admitted shyly.

"Yeah?" Vegeta's smile softened as he watched him slowly drink it all down. He held out the container of soup. "You think you can eat some of this too…?"

It was a small serving, but would be better than nothing, slightly more than the bare minimum.

"...I can try." Hesitantly, Goku took it from him. For a long moment, he stared at it with uncertainty, using the spoon to stir the vegetable bits around. Although it was mostly broth, he couldn't help but feel anxious about it because of the vegetable parts in it. But he knew Vegeta was expecting him to eat something solid, so, pushing aside his reservations, he finally took a bite of it. It tasted delicious, but there was no surprise there. Whis was an excellent cook.

Still, he couldn't fight off the feeling of guilt for eating. On one hand, he wanted to be upset because he felt like his control had been taken away, but, what he hated even more than losing control was the idea of Vegeta worrying about him, so he ate it all.

When he was done with everything, he wordlessly handed the cup and container back to Vegeta, who placed them on the dresser, before sitting down next to Goku on the bed.

"Come here." Vegeta invited Goku into his arms. After a moment, Goku scooted towards him, accepting it and resting his forehead against his chest.

"I'm so proud of you…" The prince whispered into his ear, affectionately petting the top of his head.

Goku's heart leapt at the praise, his ears becoming red, which didn't go unnoticed by Vegeta. "Hey… Can you… kiss me some more…? Like you did the other day?"

Vegeta paused, his own cheeks heating up in response. He gave a small devilish grin, brushing his lips against Goku's neck. "I'd love to…"

…

That night, when the food had settled, Goku was once again plagued with the familiar sense of shame for giving into his hunger, the familiar feeling of bile rising to his throat as his body screamed at him to get rid of it, reminding him of what had been shoved into his mouth by that man.

It was more manageable than other times, but it was still frustrating.

Tears in his eyes, he sniffled, trying to tell himself to fight against it, to keep it down as Vegeta wanted him to.

Vegeta happened to be awake, so he heard it. He didn't know what Goku was crying about, but he wanted to comfort him. Pulling him closer, he planted a kiss against the back of his upper shoulder, hoping it would provide some sort of comfort. "Something wrong…?"

"No, it's nothing..." Desperate for Vegeta's warmth, Goku turned around so he was facing him, tightly hugging him back. With hesitation, he pressed his lips against Vegeta's neck, timidly creating a small suction on the skin.

Vegeta blushed at the contact, but upon feeling Goku's body trembling in his grasp, he chose to allow it. For whatever reason, he could tell that the other Saiyan needed this right now.

…

"Hey, Whis?"

"Oh, Goku, what is it?" Whis looked up with surprise as he saw Goku approaching him in the kitchen.

"I was… wondering if you could replace my wrist cuffs." Goku sheepishly lowered his head. "I want some that are black instead of blue…"

"Well, I suppose I don't mind, but… why are you asking?" Whis wanted to know.

"It's just… These ones stain too easily, and I don't like it." Goku explained.

"I see…" Whis mused. "Here… Will these work?"

After a moment, he conjured up some black armbands, giving them to him. They were slightly longer than Goku was used to, but he was happy all the same.

"Oh, wow, these are perfect! Thanks a ton, Whis!" he smiled, after pulling them on.

"It's no problem, Goku. I'm glad you like them. By the way, I'd like it if you could join us for dinner later." Whis said.

"A-Alright." Goku stammered unintentionally. "I guess I'll come back later, then…

"Before you go, there's something you should probably be aware of." Whis stopped him, right as he was about to leave.

"What is it?" Goku asked.

"I've informed Lord Beerus of your current situation." Whis said. "So he's aware of what's going on."

"O-oh…" Goku's heart skipped a beat as he heard that. "He's not… angry, is he…?"

"No, he's not angry, Goku... The truth is… Just between you and me…" Whis whispered into his ear. "He's actually quite worried about you."

"He is…?" Goku asked in a low voice.

"Uh-huh." Whis smiled. "But don't tell him I said that."

Goku's eyes widened slightly at hearing his words, but his expression softened.

"...U-um, Whis…?" He felt his face heat up at the sudden awkwardness of it. "I was... wondering if maybe… I could help you… cook something…?"

It seemed out of nowhere because Goku was just about to leave moments before but finding out Beerus would be speaking with him later scared him. Maybe helping to make dinner would make the impact of whatever Beerus wanted to say less severe. Plus, even more than that, the idea of Vegeta getting to enjoy something he had helped make excited him.

Whis's eyes widened, before the corners of his lips curved upwards. "Of course you can… I could use the extra hand in the kitchen. Come on."

…

Goku was good at following specific directions when instructed, so he had no problem doing everything Whis told him to. And a large portion of the ingredients they had were surprisingly ones Goku recognized from Earth, so it was easy for him to sort through what was what.

"You mind if I make some tonkatsu?" He asked after skimming through the stuff they had at their disposal.

"Sure, go right ahead. Just be careful not to start a fire like Vegeta did." Whis warned, stirring his pot.

"I won't-Wait, Vegeta started a fire…!?" Goku burst out laughing, somehow able to picture it.

"Yes, it was shortly after the first time he came here." Whis didn't laugh but even he looked amused. "He got the bright idea to try to impress me so I would do more training drills with him, and I'm sure you can guess how that turned out."

Goku was barely able to breathe at this point.

…

"There. Everything is done now. It appears that I'll have to go and rouse Lord Beerus again." Whis said, once they had finished cooking. "In the mean time, you should probably go ahead and get Vegeta as well."

"Yeah, I'll do that." Using his Instant Transmission, Goku teleported himself to Vegeta, who he only realized a moment later was in the bathroom.

"Vegeta, I wanted to-Ah… Um…" Goku's face felt like it was on fire upon seeing that Vegeta was standing naked in the shower. When their eyes met, he quickly turned around, trying to hide his embarrassment. "Sorry, I'm just… gonna go stand outside…"

Vegeta let out a sigh, his ears blazing red as Goku left the room. "...You're such a moron… Can't you learn to use the door like a normal person…?"

"Oh, come on, Vegeta… I said I was sorry… I didn't know you were gonna be taking a shower…" Goku retorted sheepishly as he leaned against the wall.

It wasn't like he hadn't seen Vegeta naked before, so why was it so awkward now? Was it because they were together now?

"Well, now I know how Bulma felt…" Vegeta muttered, somewhat irritated, as he turned off the water. He too was in a similar boat. He wasn't exactly shy, but because their relationship was intimate now, it did make him feel vulnerable for some reason and he didn't like that. It had been especially uncomfortable because of it being coupled with the fact that Goku was fully clothed at the same time. "Maybe you deserved to get hit in the head with a shampoo bottle, after all..."

"Don't be that way, I swear it was an accident… I didn't mean to." Goku really didn't want Vegeta to be upset with him over something like this if he could help it.

Vegeta let out a sign, before drying himself off and getting dressed.

When he left the room, he made no hesitation to send Goku a death glare, pointing a finger at his chest. "Accident, my ass. In the future, do not teleport to me unless it's an emergency or I will kill you. Are we clear?"

"You don't mean that…" Goku puffed his cheeks out, looking slightly distressed by the threat.

"...Oh, but I do…" Vegeta teased him, deviously. In the end. There was no way he could stay mad at that face. He cupped his chin, causing Goku to blush even harder at his swift change in his mood. "Now what do you want, huh…?"

"It's just… I was gonna tell you that dinner was ready, and… I sorta helped Whis with the meal this time. He even let me make some Tonkatsu, so I was really hoping you could try some…" Goku fidgeted shyly.

"Is that so? Well then…," Vegeta moved closer, kissing him. "I'm

looking forward to it."

Goku returned it, before pulling back after a moment.

"I'm still a bit nervous, though…" he admitted.

"About what?" Vegeta wanted to know.

"Well, apparently, Whis, he um… He told Lord Beerus… about everything… He says he's worried."

"I'd think that was good, though, all things considered, wouldn't you…?" Vegeta asked.

"Yeah, I know, it just… surprises me, is all… Cuz deities…, they aren't really… supposed to… you know…" Goku trailed off, not really sure how to put it.

Vegeta was thrown at a loop upon hearing Goku even imply such a thing.

"...Well, it may be true they aren't allowed to interfere with some things," Vegeta ran his hand up his chest to his neck, before looking him in the eye again. "but they do have feelings…"

And it wasn't just that. The truth was Beerus and Whis had made exceptions for them multiple times. Obviously, they had some leeway or Earth would have been destroyed by now and Trunks wouldn't have been sent to a timeline he'd have an actual future in. On some level, they did do what they wanted, even if they claimed it was just about the food.

Goku, on the other hand, wasn't sure what to think when hearing this.

Had his trust in people really been botched this badly?

"Maybe, but... You mind if we go the long way…?" Goku scratched his cheek, anxiously. "I kinda need some time to prepare myself first…"

"Fine by me… Do whatever you need to…" Vegeta assured him.

"Thanks, Vegeta…" Goku smiled.

Vegeta affectionately pinched his cheek. "Stop thanking me, already, clown..."

…

When Goku and Vegeta returned to the kitchen, Beerus was already there.

Goku kept his head bowed as he sat down in his chair, Vegeta soon taking a seat next to him.

An uncomfortable silence settled in the room now that everybody was present. Goku started rubbing at his upper arm on instinct, from an angle that Vegeta didn't catch sight of. This rubbing quickly turned into scratching.

After a long time, Whis suddenly broke the silence with a cough, which was clearly aimed at Beerus.

At that point, it seemed like Beerus was left with no choice but to speak.

"Goku, I know I'm a Destroyer God and all, but I would appreciate it if you stopped looking away from me. This is actually quite rude, don't you think?" Beerus had his elbow on the table and was resting his cheek in his hand. His eyes narrowed uncomfortably when he saw the blood forming on Goku's arm.

"A-Ah, sorry, Lord Beerus…" Goku said awkwardly. "I'm just… really nervous right now…"

"Nervous? Now what's there to be nervous about?" Beerus asked, as Whis placed a large bowl in front of him, which was filled with meat and a stir fry, alongside some of the Tonkatsu that Goku had made. Still, Beerus didn't touch it. Proof that he was more focused on Goku right now.

"I dunno… I'm just…" Goku paused. "afraid that you're mad at me because of this… or that you're… gonna send me back to Earth or something… I don't wanna be there right now…"

"I'm not angry at you, Goku… And if you go back to Earth, then that's your decision. I'm not going to force you to do anything. Whis, stop him..." Beerus hissed, unable to stomach watching him hurt himself any further.

"Yes, My Lord..." Whis placed a bowl and cup in front of Goku before grabbing the Saiyan's hand and prying his fingers away from his arm with ease.

Goku tried to continue, but the grip was too strong. No surprise there.

At the same time, this grip was a reminder of how weak he had been that day; of that man.

A lump formed in his throat, his hair falling in his face.

"Goku…" Whis spoke gently, keeping his hold on his hand as he sat down in the empty seat next to him. Upon sensing his discomfort, he loosened his grip ever so slightly. "I believe he asked you to look at him."

"Yeah, I know, it's just…" Goku's voice cracked.

"Please forgive him. He… sometimes has trouble with eye contact, especially when he's stressed out like this..." Vegeta explained hastily. "He's not doing it to be disrespectful."

"I see…" Whis pondered it, before glancing towards Beerus, "Lord Beerus?"

His expression seemed to lean more towards telling Beerus to let it go and be understanding of Goku's predicament.

Fortunately, he was.

"Yeah, it's fine, let him be, Whis." Beerus gave a small wave of his hand. "I wouldn't want to make him uncomfortable. That being said, I'd like to know why you've stopped fighting, Goku."

"...It's… cuz… when people touch me, I keep getting flashbacks… from… the things he did to me… And they've… been getting worse… The nightmares as well… So I thought… pulling away for a while… might help some…" Goku said. "You don't… think that makes me a coward, do you?"

"No, not at all," Beerus assured him. "I fully understand the need to get away from something that's triggering for you. Although I do think it would be rather unfortunate if a talented fighter such as yourself were to give up on what you enjoy all together because one man couldn't keep his hands to himself or respect your boundaries, so I really hope you'll consider coming back to it one day."

"Yeah, I want to, I just… need some time first…" Goku insisted.

"Well, as long as you haven't lost your fighting spirit, I suppose that's all that matters." Beerus shrugged, before smirking as he glanced at the Saiyan prince that was sitting next to Goku. "Besides, I still have one Saiyan I can always play around with in the meantime if I happen to get bored…"

Vegeta glanced off to the side, choosing not to comment. If feeding Beerus's boredom would protect Goku and their home, then so be it.

"Lord Beerus, would you mind passing me my staff? I'm going to heal his arm." Whis said.

"Yeah, sure. Here." Beerus reached beside him and grabbed it, before holding it across the table for Whis to take.

The wound was soon gone along with the blood.

"There. All healed." Whis beamed, before letting go of his hand.

"Thanks, Whis…" Goku said.

"It's no problem, Goku…" Whis assured him, before retrieving his own bowl of food and drink. In the end, he chose to stay in the seat next to Goku presumably in case Goku tried to scratch himself again.

Goku's food was different solely based on his choice, but nobody questioned it since they already knew.

"Now… Enough about all of that." Beerus dismissed the conversation, breaking apart his chopsticks. "Let's all eat."

…

Beerus was overly pleased with the meal. If something tasted good to him, he didn't hold back from commenting on it. Whis's food was excellent, of course, but Goku's cooking was no exception.

"Say, Goku, what did you call these things again? They're delicious." Beerus asked, after scarfing down yet another one of the pork cutlets that Goku had made.

"Oh, uh, that's Tonkatsu. They're a type of pork cutlet, it's made using boneless pork loin…" Goku explained, nervously scratching the back of his head.

"Well, if you want my opinion, Whis should have you cook with him more often." Beerus eyed him curiously.

"I don't know anything about that, but… I'm just glad you like it, Lord Beerus…" Goku said, bashful at the compliment, but he was more focused on Vegeta's reaction. He did seem to be gorging his down so maybe he could take that as a compliment. Then again, Saiyans would eat almost anything whether they liked it or not.

"Believe me, if I didn't like it, I'd have probably destroyed you by now." Beerus said, but it seemed to be more of a joke. Though they could never be sure with him.

Whis commented with some amusement. "You know, I am sort of curious what Vegeta thinks about all of this since he's the one Goku really made the Tonkatsu for."

"Hold on, I'm what now?" Vegeta looked up upon feeling Whis's and Beerus's eyes on him. Goku, however, was now avoiding his gaze. Vegeta really didn't like being put in the spotlight over a matter such as this one, but he already knew that nobody would be satisfied until he gave an answer. He turned his head away, his cheeks flushed from embarrassment as he muttered a response. "...They taste… fine, I guess…"

Goku's heart fluttered in response at the compliment, but neither he nor Vegeta said anything to each other for a while after that.

That was until Goku eventually found himself gazing back at the food in front of him with some apprehension.

"Eat, Goku." Beerus's voice cut him off. "I'll have you know I don't take very kindly to food being wasted on my planet."

"Oh, uh, r-right… Sorry…" Goku murmured. The idea of stomaching anything right now scared him, but he knew he had no choice at this point. He had to eat or Beerus wouldn't be very happy about it and he didn't want to risk making him angry.

So, much to the visible relief of everybody in the room, Goku ate.

But even the small amount, he felt like it was too much for him.

Once again, he wanted to throw up.

…

Over the course of the next couple weeks, Vegeta started catching glimpses of burn marks on Goku's wrists after he'd taken baths. And despite all the sharp objects that he knew of having been locked away, he couldn't help but get the uncomfortable feeling that Goku had somehow found another object to hurt himself with.

Even so, he didn't have the heart to check, or to watch him bathe, because, in Vegeta's eyes, that involved breaking the set boundaries they had established. He couldn't cross that line, he just couldn't, no matter how much probably should have - to ensure Goku's safety.

…

Vegeta didn't always comment on the new marks he saw. What more was there he could say that he hadn't already? He was sure it was starting to annoy Goku, being told the same thing over and over again, that he could come to him, so, feeling like a broken record and not knowing if it was the right approach, at a certain point he stopped mentioning it. As long as Goku didn't have any known access to sharp objects, and wasn't hurting himself right in front of him, Vegeta tried his hardest to focus more on just spending time with him and letting him know that he was wanted. He needed Goku to know that, more than anything.

And yet, even now, Vegeta still couldn't bring himself to say those words.

He knew it was unfair to hold out like this, but for some reason or another, the more those words left Goku's mouth, the harder Vegeta found it to finally push past his reservations and just spit it out already.

Was it pride? Vegeta didn't know. Down deep, he wanted to say it to him. But for some reason or another, he kept telling himself that it didn't feel natural.

Goku never asked why, of course, but Vegeta could tell it was hurting him every time his statement of love went unreturned.

And it did, but Goku didn't complain, even if there were times his throat burned with unshed tears because those were the words he needed to hear.

Just three words. So why wouldn't Vegeta say them?

Am I not good enough?

He must be getting tired of me.

Is he going to leave me, after all, then?

I guess I can't blame him if he does.

There are still things I haven't been able to give him either.

Maybe that's why.

These were thoughts that ran through his head often nowadays.

But he was too nice to say it, he didn't deserve to, it would make him ungrateful.

So he had to bottle up those doubts and keep them locked up inside, just like he did everything else.

Because he wanted to give Vegeta the space he needed.

He couldn't force him to say something he didn't want to say or to feel something he didn't feel.

So even if Vegeta chose to break things off with him in the end, he tried to tell himself he would be okay with that, because all he wanted was for Vegeta to be happy.

But then if that was true, then why did the thought of Vegeta leaving him and finding somebody else because of this hurt so badly?

Goku only realized then just how selfish he was.

…

The night before New Years Eve, Goku had another nightmare, and it was probably one of the worst ones he had had since the beginning.

Because this wasn't a dream about that man.

No, this one was about Vegeta.

And it was absolutely ridiculous.

It's not even real.

Vegeta wouldn't do that sort of thing to me…

So what am I crying for?

I feel betrayed over nothing.

With frustration, he continued to wipe away his tears.

I couldn't move.

Stumbling out of bed, he could hardly breathe. His chest was hurting like crazy.

His first thought, however, wasn't to go to the bathroom like he usually did. Instead, he chose to take a walk out to the lake, so he could be alone.

When he left the room, he had to lean against the wall for support, gasping for air. Due to the panic attack, he could feel his arms becoming numb and tingling. Almost like the circulation in his body was being cut off. After a while, he found himself outside.

He could have sworn that he heard a voice, but, due to the mix of the memories and his mental state, he was too out of it to respond or perceive it as real. He wanted nothing to do with anybody right now.

For a moment, he ignored it, until Whis appeared in front of him, startling him.

"Goku, I believe I just asked you a question." The angel said, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Sorry…, what…?" Goku slurred, struggling to look up at him.

"I asked you where you're going." Whis paused, before brushing a thumb across his cheek. "And are you crying?"

Goku flinched at the touch.

"No, it's… nothing." He sniffled, wiping away his tears again, frustrated that they kept falling. "I'm just… taking a walk."

"...I see." Whis pondered it. "Well, just… try not to fall, alright…?"

"Thanks... I-I'll be careful…" Goku's voice was low, barely above a whisper.

Whis watched quietly as Goku walked past him. There was a glint of uncertainty in his eyes, but in the end, he turned back around, going his own route.

…

The place Goku found himself at was at the lake. Thoughts and images swarmed through his head.

The feeling of betrayal wouldn't leave him.

It's just a stupid dream.

It wasn't real.

Vegeta wouldn't do something like that, to me or anybody, he told himself yet again.

So why is this bothering me so much?

Maybe because it reminded him of his own weakness.

His naivety.

It was somebody he trusted.

What's wrong with me?

Why am I dreaming about something like that?

Arms pinning him down.

A cold smirk.

A voice telling him to shut up; to stop struggling. Saying some of the same things as that man did.

A hand covering his mouth to stop him from screaming.

He could barely move. But he had cried out for him to stop.

Multiple times.

Only for his sobs to be silenced and ignored.

I want it gone.

In that moment, there was only one thing going through his head.

The urge to bleed.

To hurt.

…

Vegeta woke up late in the night to find the bed space next to him empty. He decided to wait at first, like he always did, but when Goku didn't return after a certain amount of time, he finally decided to check the bathroom.

"Kakarot…?" He knocked on the door.

No answer.

Opening the door, he found that it was empty. Goku wasn't there.

That's when it suddenly dawned on him.

He couldn't feel his ki.

Goku was either suppressing it or something had happened.

Where could he have gone…?!

Think… Think…

The memories of seeing the cuts on Goku's wrist and leg - the burn marks - flashed into his head, causing him to fall into an immediate panic.

No, he wouldn't…!

Slipping on his boots, he ran for the door, calling out Goku's name once he got outside. Upon not receiving an answer, he flew around a bit to see if he could find him.

"Kakarot!" His heart pounded in his chest. He knew he might have been overreacting, but he didn't care. With things as they had been, one would be wrong not to worry.

A few minutes later, he spotted the familiar outline of Whis, flying over to him.

"Whis!" He shouted. "I need your help! It's Kakarot, I can't seem to find him! I… Please, I need you to tell me where he is!"

The truth was Vegeta hadn't searched everywhere, but having Whis locate him would be better than searching the whole planet aimlessly.

"Well, I did happen to see him a short while ago, but…" Whis faltered. "He didn't mention where he was going... Hold on a moment."

Whis sighed, before he used his staff to locate Goku with ease. When he did so, however, There was a noticeable shift in his mood that even Vegeta was able to pick up on. "Oh my."

"What's wrong?! Did you find him?! Is he okay?!" Vegeta demanded, in a frenzy.

"Well, he's by the lake, but he appears to be unconscious. You should probably-" Whis started to say, but Vegeta had already flown off before he could finish his sentence.

Unconscious?!

Shitshitshitshit!

Vegeta made his way towards the lake as fast as he possibly could have.

He didn't know how much time had passed because he was focused on one thing and one thing only.

Being with his lover.

When he reached his destination, there he saw him. Goku was laying on the ground in front of a tree.

"Kakarot!" Vegeta landed by his side, inspecting the damage.

Blood was everywhere. All over his gi, on his wrist and even in the grass.

"Kakarot, can you hear me?!" Vegeta shook his shoulder. Goku was unconscious but at least he was breathing.

Pulling him into his arms, he reached into his uniform, fumbling around for what he was looking for. "Shit, where the hell is that Senzu bean… I know I had one left… Damn it… Of all the-There it is."

Once he found it, it slipped out of his hand, because he was shaking so badly due to nerves, but he didn't care.

He hastily wiped the dirt off of it, taking it into his mouth and chewing it up. Not having a better idea in mind, he leaned in, delivering it to Goku through saliva in the same way he had seen Trunks do with Mai.

He could only hope it didn't cause him to choke.

Fortunately, after a moment, Goku began to stir in his arms. Vegeta watched with relief as Goku opened his eyes.

"Vegeta…" Goku tensed up a bit when Vegeta's hold on him became a borderline death grip. "Can't… breathe… You're hugging me too tight."

"You idiot…! Do you have any idea how worried I was about you…? I swear to god, Kakarot, if you ever do anything like that again, I will kill you with my own two hands…" Vegeta couldn't even control himself anymore, he was actually sobbing now, just from the relief of seeing Goku awake again. He loosened his grip somewhat, but his body was still shaking.

"I'm sorry… I didn't…" Goku murmured, feeling worse than ever at the sight.

That's when the realization dawned on him. Liquid formed in his eyes all over again, and he immediately tried to sit up, looking around frantically, as if he were trying to find something.

"Hey, it's okay… You're alright now… Stop that..." Vegeta said, keeping him in his hold, afraid that he was going to kill himself with the way he was acting, especially after what had just happened.

"No, let go of me, you don't understand… I need it to stop... Please, Vegeta…" Goku begged.

"Need what to stop? Hey, look at me. What are you talking about?" Vegeta tried to get him to face him, but Goku completely refused to cooperate. He wasn't thinking straight at all.

That's when Vegeta's eyes caught sight of what Goku was looking for; something that he was trying to reach out towards.

A shard of white glass. Specifically, one that appeared to be from one of the cups in the kitchen.

That's what he's after?!

Vegeta wordlessly held him back in disbelief.

Surprisingly enough, however, it was Whis who grabbed the shard, just in time to keep Goku from getting his hands on it. He had arrived only moments before to witness their scuffle.

"I'm sorry, but I really don't think you need this, Goku..." he said, now holding it in his hand.

Upon seeing that, Goku stifled a sob, knowing fully well that he had already lost at this point. So his next instinct was to scratch himself, and he almost succeeded had Vegeta's hold on him not been as strong as it was.

"That's enough, Kakarot. You're to stop this at once." Vegeta said, sternly, his voice cracking.

After hearing that, Goku finally listened.

"Now, I want you to tell me what's going on… Did you have another nightmare?" Vegeta encouraged, leaning him back against the tree.

"...I don't want to talk about it. I just want it to go away…" Goku choked out.

"You keep saying that, but you still haven't told me what you mean by that…" Vegeta said, not sure at this point what Goku was referring to. Clearly something had upset him, and this didn't seem to be his usual nightmares.

"Do you think it's possible he's referring to the memories?" Whis suggested after a bit.

"I thought so too, but I don't know… This seems different somehow… Whatever it is is really bothering him." Vegeta said, with uncertainty.

Whis sighed, as he kneeled down in front of him, catching his eyes. "Goku, I'm going to have ask that you be more specific. We can't help you unless we know what's going on."

His words were similar to Vegeta's, but slightly different.

"I can't…" Goku refused. "I'm afraid to. It's Vegeta... I don't want him to be mad at me…"

"You think I'll be mad at you-For what?" Vegeta was becoming more and more concerned by the moment. He now knew this had something to do with him and he needed to know why.

"It's nothing… I just… need to…" Goku refused to give any coherent answers, continuing to fight back in an attempt to dig into his wrist.

Vegeta was completely at the end of his rope now. He could see that Goku wasn't going to listen to reason, so he did the only thing he could think of. "I'm sorry… But I can't let you hurt yourself…"

With the usage of ki rings - Something he had wanted to avoid at all costs for something like this except as a last resort - Vegeta restrained him completely.

Only then did Goku finally stop struggling, his arms and wrists now bound at his sides. He lowered his head, his bangs shadowing his eyes.

"Do you want one of your fidgets? I'll let you hold one." Vegeta offered, trying to come up with something. Even if Goku said he didn't like using them often, it was better to offer it to him than nothing.

"No, I don't want them." Goku's shoulders trembled as sobs continued to escape his lips. His breaths were uneven as he once again started gasping for air.

Vegeta swallowed, sitting back as he placed the putty beside him. "Then what can I do? You've got to give me something to work with here."

"I don't know, okay…? I don't understand this anymore than you do…" Goku finally admitted.

This left them at a stand still.

"Look, it's true that I might not understand this entirely, but I am trying to, so… I just want you to trust me…" Vegeta was finally starting to snap from the heartbreak of almost losing him and it was showing.

"I do trust you…, but there's nothing you can do to fix this, or me…, even I can't…" Goku trailed off, clutching his fists so tightly that his nails dug into the palm of his hand.

Vegeta lowered his head, his shoulders shaking. He felt like he had been defeated.

Whis sighed. "...Goku, I know I offered this suggestion to you before, but I'll ask you once more. Would you like to try holding ice? I think it might help you…"

Goku sniffled, thinking about it for a moment. "I-"

"Yeah! Let's do that, okay?" Vegeta added, desperate at this point.

"Mn." Goku uttered with uncertainty, not seeming too happy about it.

When Whis produced a small bag of ice from his staff, he handed it to Vegeta. "Here, Vegeta. I'll let you handle this…"

Vegeta grabbed it, pulling out one of the ice cubes and placing the rest beside him.

"Kakarot, I'm going to move your arm now, alright?" He turned Goku's wrist over and pressed the frozen substance against the area where he had previously started scratching himself. He didn't care if it numbed his fingers or hand, if there was the slimmest chance it would help his lover, then the pain was worth it.

Surprisingly enough, Goku's breathing seemed to regulate, his tears slowly coming to a halt as the ice melted bit by bit on his skin.

"There… Is that helping any?" Vegeta inquired softly.

"Mhm." Goku nodded sheepishly. The cold sensation actually managed to ground him somewhat and keep his focus more on that than on the memories.

"See? I told you it would, didn't I?" Whis smiled.

"Yeah…" Goku said. "It doesn't… get rid of the urges completely, but I guess it does… help some…"

"Well, I'm glad to hear it, Goku…" Whis said, before looking at Vegeta as he stood up. "...Vegeta, may I have a word with you?"

"What is it?" Vegeta got up, his hand lingering on Goku's arm for only a moment longer before realizing that Whis wanted him to follow him. He handed Goku the bag of ice. "Here, hold this. I'll be right back."

"Wait, Vegeta… What about the… ki rings…?" Goku started to protest in a low voice as Vegeta walked off after Whis, but Vegeta didn't hear him. He couldn't help but feel a bit dejected, but, in the end, he forced himself to revert his attention back to the feeling of the ice in his hand.

Once Whis and Vegeta were far enough away to talk privately, Whis spoke back up.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I said to keep a closer eye on him, Vegeta."

"Yeah, I know. I screwed up, okay? You can lecture me later." Vegeta muttered. "But what else can I do…? It's not like I can be with him all the time… There has to be some other way…"

"Well, I suppose you have a point…" Whis mused. "...Not that I have an issue with him being here, but if you want my advice… Perhaps it would be best if Goku returned to Earth for now. You two have friends there that can help care for him when you are unable to, such as Bulma."

"But he doesn't even want to be on Earth right now…" Vegeta argued weakly.

"Be that as it may, it's possible you might not be left with much of a choice in the matter. If you want Goku to get the support he needs, that is…" Whis said. "Besides, are there not also other options such as medication or doctors that could help him with this?"

Vegeta almost wanted to protest further, but, deep down, he knew the angel wasn't saying any of this to be cruel or judgmental, he was absolutely right. Even if Goku didn't want to be on earth right now, he needed constant surveillance, and, as Whis had mentioned, medication until all of this could be sorted out. "...I understand… We'll go back tomorrow."

"...Oh, that's right. You had a festival you were planning on attending, didn't you?" Whis ruminated.

Vegeta gazed away, a downcast look on his face. "Yeah…"

…

"It appears he's fallen asleep." Whis noted with some amusement when he and Vegeta came back to discover that Goku had dozed off.

"I swear… He's such a child…" Vegeta had said that so many times before, but his expression was soft as he kneeled down next to him, caressing his lover's sleeping face.

He looks so peaceful…

After a moment, Vegeta broke the ki rings on Goku's wrists before lifting him into his arms and holding him tight - like his life depended on it.

Not caring that Whis was watching, he kissed his forehead. "I'm taking him back to bed…"

"That is probably for the best, yes." Whis said simply. "But before you go..."

Vegeta looked up at him, a bit surprised when Whis used his staff to clean the blood off his and Goku's clothes.

"We wouldn't want you tracking blood through the house, would we?"

"...Thanks... for… helping." Vegeta mumbled, before flying off immediately after. He had no idea how Whis would have responded, but he didn't care. He was more focused on Goku.

…

Vegeta brought Goku to the bedroom and laid him down in the bed.

Tears obstructed his vision as he spread the covers over them, watching him sleep.

"Vegeta…" Goku said in a low, groggy voice, starting to shake. "I-I'm sorry… I know I scared you… I was so upset at the time that I wasn't thinking about anything else and-"

"Shh… It's alright now… You're safe… That's all that matters to me..." Vegeta kissed him, fingers gently running through his hair and tucking some of it behind his ear.

Goku pulled back, slightly flushed, but still visibly anxious. "Y-You're not mad at me? I swear I won't do it again, so please… don't leave me over this… You won't, will you?"

"No… No, Kakarot, I'm not going to leave you…" Vegeta assured him, before urging desperately for an explanation. "Still… can you at least… tell me why? Surely, you must have had a reason, right? So please… Help me understand…"

Goku knew he owed Vegeta this much, after everything he had just put him through.

"...It was… another nightmare… But it was… about you… and I… I don't know why… It wasn't even real… but it still hurt… so much… I was so scared… yet I know you wouldn't do something like that to me, so why? Why am I having dreams like that…? I want it to go away…" Goku covered his face with one of his hands, to hide the tears.

Vegeta's eyes widened, his heart breaking as he finally realized why Goku was so afraid of him being mad. Because the nightmare he'd had was about him. Was it because they were together now? For him to be having such a dream must have meant that there was some part of Goku that still didn't trust him.

Was this a hint that he had stepped over a line somehow without knowing it?

"I… I'm sorry… I hadn't… realized… Tell me," Vegeta said, frantically. "if I've done anything that's made you feel uncomfortable… or unsafe with me, I swear I'll stop, and I'll never do it again… I would never knowingly hurt you, or scare you..."

"It's nothing like that…, I told you before, you haven't done anything wrong…" Goku insisted. "This whole time you've been nothing but kind to me… and I do trust you. Maybe that's why… I'm having dreams like this… because… some part of me… is afraid… of that trust being broken…"

"But you know I wouldn't… I would never do something so horrible to you… or anybody for that matter… That man was a monster."

"Yeah, I know that… You're better than him… I know you are… Way better…" Goku said, cupping his cheeks in his hands, hesitantly kissing him.

Vegeta returned it, before hugging him tighter. "...I… love you, Kakarot…"

Upon hearing those words, Goku felt a warmth well up in his chest.

"Haha…" his voice cracked. "You finally said it to me… I was worried you weren't going to… or that you didn't… feel the same way as me..…"

"Of course I do. Even if I don't always say it… I do…" Vegeta's expression became painful as the other man trembled in his arms. He cursed himself for being so stubborn before. Those words had meant more to Goku than he even realized.

Yet, some part of it hurt to think about because, in the end, words were just words. Somebody could easily lie to him with such words then hurt him anyways. That was the harsh reality of the universe.

People lied. Even Goku knew this fact, he had seen it with Raditz and multiple others. Just like he witnessed it with the man who raped him.

Still, for some reason or another, he wanted to trust Vegeta. He wanted more than anything to believe that Vegeta wouldn't lie to him.

And Vegeta saw that.

But Goku's sense of trust now was a fragile thing, easy to break.

So Vegeta would do everything he could to protect and salvage that.

"...Listen. There's something we need to talk about…" Vegeta swallowed, continuing to run his fingers through Goku's hair. He thought about Whis's warning, and knew he had no choice but to do as he had suggested, but for some reason or another he didn't even know how to broach the subject. And yet, he knew he had to be upfront about this, Goku needed predictability instead of having something sprung on him. "About what happened… earlier… I've decided… that we need to go back to earth for a while…"

"Earth? But why?" Goku quickly started to become upset. "I don't want to live there anymore… I can't…"

"I know… It's only temporary." Vegeta held his face affectionately, wiping away his tears. "We're going to get you a doctor, Kakarot... One that can make some of this pain you're feeling go away..."

"But I don't need a doctor... All I want right now is to be away from there, away from him, and everything else… Please, Vegeta, don't make me stay there anymore…" Goku practically pled.

"I promise we'll come back here, as soon as we get you on some medication… and know that your feelings are at least manageable. As things are, this trauma is destroying you…" Vegeta uttered with a heavy chest.

"...So... We can really come back after I get some medicine?" Goku looked at him with uncertainty.

"Yes, we'll come back. But… also there's something else… I need you to know…" Vegeta began, hesitantly.

"What is it…?" Goku asked, nervously.

"From now on… I can't… allow you to be alone anymore…" It took everything Vegeta had in him to say it. "That means… when you… bathe… or use the bathroom, or anything else… somebody will need to be with you at all times…"

Goku didn't respond, but Vegeta understood why, this wasn't pleasant for either one of them.

I have no idea what I'm even doing anymore… but what other choice do I have…?

"I'm sorry…" Vegeta's voice was weak. "I'm not… doing this to hurt you, or scare you. I'm only… trying to protect you, and I can't… risk something like this happening again…"

"...I don't… want you to see my body…, not after what he did to me…" Goku knew that Vegeta wasn't doing this out of ill intent. He was only laying a rule like this down so he couldn't hurt himself, but that didn't mean Goku wanted to accept it. Especially not the idea of Vegeta looking at his body when he bathed. "And the scars look terrible… You'll think they're disgusting…"

Disgusting.

There was that word yet again. A slightly different context maybe, but in the end it all boiled down to the same thing.

Approval over his body.

Approval which meant everything to Goku.

Despite Vegeta's own trauma, he had no real idea how to console him right now. He was attracted to him, but that didn't mean he wanted to objectify him.

What am I supposed to say?

When is he going to realize his value to me? That he's so much more than his body?

"Your body… is the same to me as it's always been…" He said. "It's like I told you before, you're… a beautiful man, Kakarot, and scars aren't going to change how I feel about you, regardless what form they may take… Do you know why?" Vegeta flipped up his wrist cuff, kissing his wrist. "It's because these scars… They represent your struggle to survive… They're physical proof of the battle you've been facing - The one that's been raging inside of your head for months now, maybe even years. But you don't have to fight that battle alone anymore… Because I'm here with you and I'm willing to do anything I have to to help you beat this. But I can only do that if you're willing to accept my help… So… will you? Please…"

After hearing his words, Goku was quiet for another long moment as he looked into Vegeta's eyes, desperately searching for any sign of judgment or ulterior motives. He found none. "...Okay…"

"You'll… really… do it…?" Vegeta asked.

"...Yeah… I know you… just want what's best for me, right…?" Goku replied, barely audible.

And Vegeta did, but despite everything, this still felt wrong, like an invasion of privacy.

But as much as he hated to admit it, this was the most logical approach he could take to a situation like this.

Meeting Goku's lips with his own, he looked into his eyes with a tender gaze. "You're so strong, you know that? And brave too…"

"You're always saying that about me…" Goku blushed slightly.

"That's because it's true… You are strong. You're one of the strongest people I know." Vegeta said.

"Still… What happened earlier-"

"What happened earlier is irrelevant." Vegeta interjected. "What matters is that you get back up and keep fighting, no matter how many times you screw up… You understand…?"

"...Mhm…"

"Good…" Vegeta replied, rubbing the top of his head in a petting notion. "Now get some sleep. We have a date to go to, so I want you fully rested when we leave tomorrow."

I can't sleep tonight… But that's okay…

Making sure he's safe is the only thing that's important to me right now.

…

The next day, it didn't take long for Vegeta to have regrets about their date.

Not regrets about spending time with Goku - No, he could never regret that - But a festival?

What in the world was I even thinking, inviting him to something like this?

Person after person bumped into him, testing his patience bit by bit.

This crowd is unbearable!

"Cotton candy, you say? Oh my, how creative. It's fluffy like cotton, but the taste is divine! It even melts right in your mouth."

"Right? I thought you might like it."

And then there was Beerus and Whis.

Of course they had to come upon hearing there was food. This ultimately meant he had to pay for theirs as well because Bulma had chosen not to come. Fortunately, he had loads of money to spare on his card, essentially unlimited funds, but that didn't make this any less irritating.

Damn them. This was supposed to be a date between me and Kakarot. I didn't come here to be some chaperone.

"Darn it, not again… I keep aiming too low."

Vegeta looked over to see that Goku was preoccupied by a dart challenge. He walked over next to him.

"Let me try. I'll show you how it's done." Vegeta reached out towards his hand.

"Just give me a bit. I can do this." Goku retorted, not wanting to share.

"There are multiple darts, you ass. Don't hog them all." Vegeta snatched a few out of his hand before making his aim. Surprisingly, he hit a bullseye on the first try. And the second. Just barely the third.

"Woah, you're pretty good at this, Vegeta." Goku said in amazement. "How'd you do that?!"

"It's easy." Vegeta scoffed. "All you have to do is aim higher than you actually want to hit."

Goku tried again, his eyebrows furrowing in frustration when he missed the shot again. "Well, now it's too high!"

"You're hopeless." Vegeta scoffed.

"Hey, Vegeta, wanna see who can catch the most goldfish?" Goku suddenly asked with a grin, already having found another stall to preoccupy himself with.

"Goldfish scooping? Isn't that considered to be for children?" Vegeta deadpanned. If this were regular fishing, that'd be one thing, but normally he only saw kids doing kingyo sukui. Then again, he didn't keep up to date with Earth's customs.

"No. Adults can enjoy it too." Goku corrected him, pouting a bit.

"Of course you would say that. But fine." Vegeta caved, paying the stall keeper for two poi and bowls.

The truth was, he couldn't pass up the opportunity to compete against him. They may be partners now but, as far as he liked to tell himself, they were still rivals even if Goku wasn't training at this current time.

The two stood next to each other at the fishtub, positioning their poi into the water to get a fish. Goku managed to scoop two into his bowl before his thoughts got interrupted by the voice of some kids next to him. They appeared to be arguing.

Momentarily, Goku forgot that he was in the middle of a game. He turned his head back to realize his poi had broken.

"Aw man, I left it in too long…!" Goku cursed under his breath.

"Well, well well." Vegeta gloated, having gathered four goldfish in his bowl. "I guess that means I win this one, Kakarot."

"Yeah, I kinda got a little distracted a bit there." Goku laughed, scratching the back of his head. "Here, uh, do you maybe want mine? I highly doubt Chichi would like it very much if I suddenly dumped them on her and Goten to take care of."

"Keep them. I have no need for fish. Our cat would probably end up trying to eat them anyway. I'm putting mine back in." Vegeta said.

"Alright." Goku said. "I guess I'll put mine back as well then."

They then went another round which ended up being a tie at three each.

It was after that that Vegeta was called over by Whis.

Not wanting to drag Goku around with him every time Beerus or Whis called him over, Vegeta let him stay there. They were in public, so he thought it would be okay.

Goku was left alone. He looked away, catching sight of a Takoyaki stand, his stomach growling at the sight.

It just had to be one of those times that his body was acting against him again, betraying him.

Man, those look delicious…

But they're 1,500 Zenni for a tray of six…

He bit his lip when he saw the stall keeper meet his eyes.

It's not that I don't have enough, but… what's the point of wasting the little bit I do have when it could be used on something more important?

I need to hold off…

"Something catch your eye?"

A voice stopped him from walking off. It was Vegeta.

"Oh, uh…" Goku looked up at him, before shaking his head and turning away again. "No, it's nothing…"

He was avoiding his gaze, a guilty expression on his face.

"Bullshit." Vegeta folded his arms, leaning in towards him with an intense stare. "There's something you want, isn't there? And judging by the direction you were staring at, I'll bet it's those Takoyaki, am I wrong?"

"..." Goku couldn't bring himself to answer.

"Well? Spit it out already." Vegeta urged him.

"I mean… They do… look good…" Goku admitted, barely above a whisper. It was a surprise that Vegeta even heard him. "but I don't really have a lot of zenni on me right now… I'll just… wait until I can eat something later…"

"What? Now just hold on a minute, you idiot…" Vegeta grabbed his hand to stop him from leaving. "What part of I'm covering all of your expenses are you not understanding?"

Goku was quiet for a moment.

Vegeta sighed a bit. "Look, I'm fully aware of your current financial situation, so it would have been cruel of me to invite you to somewhere like a festival if you couldn't afford the stuff you wanted. That's why I'm paying, So you don't have to."

"Is this… really okay, though? You keep buying me stuff and I…" Goku mumbled. "I don't have any way to pay you back right now..."

"Kakarot…" Vegeta placed his hands on Goku's face forcing him to meet his eyes. "Do you know what I really want right now? What would mean more to me than money, or anything physical?"

"What…?" Goku asked.

"For you to stop worrying and just enjoy yourself." Vegeta emphasized. "That's what this date is for, so forget the stupid zenni already. Do you want Takoyaki or not?"

"...Mhm." Goku finally admitted in a low voice.

"Hmph. See, now that wasn't so hard, was it…?" Vegeta scoffed a bit, before he let go and bought a couple trays from the stall keeper.

It couldn't be helped. Chichi had always been unpredictable in whether she'd buy stuff like that for him or not. She always talked about the importance of saving money. Not that he could blame her for it. In comparison to Bulma's family, they weren't exactly rich.

Vegeta then handed one to Goku, "Here."

"Thanks, Vegeta..." Goku took it from him with a small smile.

"Yeah, whatever." Vegeta mumbled.

As they ate, they walked beside each other, neither one of them saying much for a while, instead opting to observe the surrounding crowd. There were some people walking around with masks.

When they finished, they threw their trays into the trash.

Vegeta later brought Goku to a stall selling ikayaki and sake.

He bought a stick of ikayaki for both of them, as well as some sake for himself.

"Here." He said holding one of the sticks out for him.

"Thanks." Goku said.

"You want a drink?" Vegeta offered.

"I really shouldn't… Chichi says that that stuff is bad for me, and I don't really like the taste of it, so I usually try to avoid it." Goku fidgeted, afraid that Vegeta would tease him or something for choosing to avoid it.

"Suit yourself." Vegeta took a sip of his, not caring one way or the other. If Goku didn't feel comfortable drinking, then it was fine if he didn't.

Vegeta had been drinking since the time he was five, so this was normal to him, even if he didn't drink as much as he used to, for multiple reasons.

At some point, he had told himself he needed to cut back, not liking how susceptible it made him. It couldn't be helped by the fact that he had grown up witnessing people in the Frieza Force behave like wild animals when under the influence.

But right now, he told himself he needed this. Just to wind down a bit.

Over the course of the next hour, the two Saiyans competed against each other in numerous other games, Goku finding himself particularly drawn to katanuki.

"Hah! I win again, Kakarot…" Vegeta had just carved out a perfect rabbit from his candy board for the sixth time versus Goku who had only managed to carve out two.

His speech was slightly slurred and his face flushed from the alcohol, but he did genuinely seem to be enjoying himself, so Goku couldn't complain too much.

That, of course, didn't mean he wasn't salty about messing up yet again.

"I don't get it. Why does mine keep breaking…? What am I doing wrong?" He pouted with frustration, looking at his umbrella which had just snapped in half.

"You're fucking terrible at this." Vegeta laughed a bit, feeling drowsy.

"I wanna try again." Goku said with resolve as he ate the broken candy board and grabbed another.

"Sure, if you actually think you can do it..." Vegeta jeered.

"Just wait, this time I'll get it for sure." Goku vowed.

Vegeta didn't bother to pick up another one this time, he was more content just watching Goku squirm over this. It was too amusing.

Goku was secretly confused as to how Vegeta had even been able to carve so many candy boards so perfectly despite clearly being somewhat drunk. Shouldn't it have messed with his coordination?

Distracted, he accidentally pricked himself with the thumbtack he was holding.

"Ow…!" He hissed in pain.

"Hey, be more careful…!" Vegeta scolded him, a bit concerned when Goku drew back. He grabbed his hand to inspect the damage. It wasn't too bad but there was a bit of blood.

"Need a bandage?" The stall-keeper offered.

"I'm good…" Goku said.

"Here, I'll give you one anyway just in case." The man handed him it to him anyways.

"Oh, uh, thanks." Goku replied, before opening it up. Vegeta took it from him and carefully wrapped the bandage around Goku's finger to catch the crimson liquid. It wasn't that Goku was helpless, Vegeta just figured it would be easier to have assistance when a person was putting a bandage on one's own finger, hand or arm. Besides, he had pretty much gotten used to tending to Goku's injuries at this point, so it was inevitable. "Great. Now hurry up and finish that candy board already, so we can go somewhere else."

The sight of the thumbtack was suddenly making him feel uneasy. Anything sharp that made Goku bleed did. Was he just being over-protective? He didn't know. He never really got this way during sparring matches unless Goku had one of his panic attacks.

"Okay…" Surprisingly, Goku actually got it right this time.

…

In wanage, Goku got a slightly higher score than Vegeta. Vegeta huffed a bit but didn't say too much.

Despite Goku's original desire not to spend any money, he ended up buying a black necklace with an obsidian spearhead pendant on it. "Hey, Vegeta, I want you to have this."

"A necklace? There's no way in hell I'm putting that thing on." Vegeta muttered, folding his arms. "Wear it yourself."

"Oh, come on, ya gotta try it on." Goku said. "I bought it just for you."

"I said no." Vegeta retorted.

"Please? For me?" Goku begged.

"Oh, now you're guilt tripping me over jewelry, is that it?" Vegeta deadpanned. "Well, it's not going to- Hey!"

Goku had already unclasped it, reaching around his neck to fasten it.

"Just hold still a moment. I'm almost done." Goku said, grinning when it was around Vegeta's neck. "There."

"I hope you know I'm going to take this off later…" Vegeta grumbled bitterly, feeling ridiculous. That's when the realization crossed his mind. "Hold on, did you just say you bought this?"

"Yeah…" Goku confirmed, seeing no problem. "Why?"

"Kakarot…!" Vegeta snapped in disbelief. "You couldn't even afford to buy yourself food earlier, but then you went and bought me a necklace? Let me guess, you spent all the money you had on this thing too, didn't you…?"

"I… Sorry…" Goku turned his head away, slightly hurt by his outburst. "I just… wanted to get something nice for you, after everything you've done for me… I didn't… mean to make you angry."

Vegeta pulled back, feeling a pang of guilt for yelling at him. This had obviously meant a lot to him.

"...Look, I'm not… angry. It's just…" He sighed, moving closer and hugging him, knowing he couldn't just leave things as they were. "You didn't need to get me anything… Still… Thanks. It's just my style..."

He had to say something.

"Really?" Goku smiled softly at hearing that. "...I'm glad you like it…"

…

"Look, Vegeta, it's a cockatiel!" Some time later that night, Goku found himself running off towards a woman who was showing off her bird.

"Hey, hold on a minute, Kakarot! Damn it all…" Vegeta had to run after him, only then realizing just how off balance he was the moment somebody accidentally bumped into him.

He almost lost his footing, but caught himself just in the nick of time. He clutched at his head, trying to fight off the wave of dizziness that passed over him.

I sometimes forget just how strong sake can be… I thought I'd have better control than this…

When he reached Goku's side, Goku was already petting the cockatiel's neck. The cockatiel was clearly enjoying being scratched.

"Is this a boy or girl?" Goku asked out of curiosity.

"It's a boy." The woman said with a smile.

"Ohhh, he's really cute. What's his name?" Goku wanted to know.

"It's Yuuichi." The woman looked over at Vegeta who was eyeing it. "Would you like to pet him?"

"Uh, no, I really shouldn't." Vegeta said, with uncertainty. As far as he was concerned, animals like this were unpredictable.

"Come on, Vegeta, he won't bite. He's really friendly. See?" Goku encouraged him.

"Well… if you're sure…" Vegeta took off one of his gloves and hesitantly reached out towards the bird. Yuuichi bent his head down so he could pet him on the back of his head.

"His feathers are so soft…" Vegeta noted aloud.

As he realized that, he became more bold in petting it.

"Hey, I've been wondering about something. What's the big feather that sticks up on the top of his head for?" Goku suddenly asked.

"That's called a crest. It's used to communicate with other cockatiels, and even frighten away other species when it feels threatened." The woman explained.

"What's it mean when it goes back like that?" Goku took notice of the way his crest was moving back as Vegeta pet him.

"A cockatiel will put his crest back for one of two reasons, either it's happy or angry. He's happy right now."

"Can he talk?" Vegeta retracted his hand, but was still curious.

"Can you say pretty bird?" The woman asked, looking at Yuuichi.

"Pretty bird." Yuuichi mimicked, before receiving a treat.

"You wanna sing for me?" The woman encouraged him.

Much to Vegeta and Goku's amazement, Yuuichi started singing some sort of catchy tune after that.

"You've trained him well…" Vegeta complimented when several children suddenly ran up, wanting to play with Yuuichi.

"Thank you. He can be a handful, but he's a fast learner, so…"

"I see…" Vegeta pondered it.

"Thanks for letting us pet him." Goku smiled.

The woman beamed as they started to leave. "It's no problem."

…

"Would you like some ice cream?" Vegeta later asked, when they passed by a stall selling many frozen items, including sherbet, gelato, and even snow cones. He didn't want any himself, but he had to offer it anyway.

"Uh, sure. If you don't mind." Goku looked at Vegeta, a nervous expression on his face. He couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed in himself for not only putting him out like this, but also giving in and eating so much today.

But it was a one time thing, rationalized.

Once this was over he'd go back to his normal diet of avoiding anything that wasn't mostly liquid.

"Not at all." Vegeta assured him, before leading him to the stall. "What kind do you want exactly?"

"Vanilla is fine." Goku decided after glancing at the flavors and items for a second. If he actually tried to decide on something, they'd be there all day.

"Alright. Just give me a moment." Vegeta said.

Goku stood back, taking a seat on a nearby bench as he waited for him to buy it.

When Vegeta came over, he handed him his ice cream, sitting down beside him.

"Thanks…" Goku made no hesitation to start eating it.

"Hmph…" Vegeta crossed his arms and legs as he always did, but leaned back this time, watching him. He certainly seemed to be enjoying it.

"Is it really that good?" He asked with some amusement. He hadn't got any because he wasn't in the mood to eat an entire cone.

"Yeah, do you want to try some?" Goku offered, holding out the cone.

"I'm fine." Vegeta turned it down. "You eat it."

"Alright then. But don't say I didn't offer you some." Goku said, before he continued eating it.

"I wasn't going to." Vegeta muttered simply.

At some point, Vegeta's eyes became drawn to Goku's tongue as it flicked in and out of his mouth across the ice cream.

He swallowed, feeling as though the very sight of it was some sort of torture in itself, especially when he saw some of the white substance melt and drip down Goku's chin.

Just barely, he forced himself to turn away.

Damn it all…! Why does he have to lick it like that? No, it's not his fault… He's just eating ice cream…

He mentally cursed himself, turning away, bouncing his leg.

Stupidstupidstupid just get out ofmyhead already.

"Vegeta? Hey, what's wrong?" The prince jumped, startled when Goku placed a hand on his forehead to feel his temperature, leaning in to where their faces were only inches apart. "You're burning up and your face is all red. Are you not feeling well?"

Vegeta swallowed, the contact and close proximity surprising him, but softly took hold of his hand, trying not to blush even harder. "No, it's nothing. I'm just drunk, you idiot… Now let go of me."

In that moment, Vegeta felt like crap for letting his mind drift. It could be said that Goku still had a certain innocence about him when it came to these things, so there's no way he could have known.

"You sure? We can always go to a doctor or something if you need to." Goku offered, completely oblivious and slightly concerned. "I'm sure there's some around here."

"I said I'm fine. Just eat your ice cream already…" Vegeta grumbled, avoiding his gaze, before covering his face.

God, I'm terrible… I shouldn't be thinking about those things… What the hell is wrong with me…?

"Well, are you sure you don't want some?" Goku smirked, as he offered his cone again. He really didn't know when to lay off. "I really don't mind sharing."

"It depends, Kakarot. Wouldn't that be kind of like an… indirect kiss…?" Kissing wasn't exactly what was on his mind right now, but Vegeta opted to tease him some anyways.

"A… k-kiss…?" Goku stammered, blushing at the thought, simply because the subject had seemingly come out of nowhere.

"Yeah, that's right. That's what it's called, anyway." Vegeta taunted, inching towards him with a devilish smirk. "When couples share food, they say it's actually quite romantic. But tell me, what do you think about all of that…? May I?"

He wasn't usually the type who ever flirted much, even with Bulma (since she always seemed to have the upper hand with him), but, with Goku, it somehow felt natural to him and it was certainly well worth it if it meant he got to see such flustered expressions on his face.

Except he intentionally mixed up his his body language this time, to throw him off.

"...Huh? W-wait, Vegeta… People are watching." Goku leaned back slightly, but remained glued to his spot. When he heard 'kiss', that's exactly what he was thinking, and Vegeta wasn't making it any easier to know what his intentions were. "We shouldn't…"

Goku's heart pounded in his chest as he tried to gather his thoughts.

Is Vegeta really about to kiss me? Right now?

Not that I mind, but… this is all so sudden, I…

He nervously closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself.

"Shouldn't what…?" Vegeta took a bite of his ice cream, completely breaking the suspense. Even though he preferred chocolate, the flavor was surprisingly pretty good and intense despite it being so basic. "Hm?"

"Huh? I-it's nothing." Some part of Goku was relieved, but another part of him almost felt as though he had been toyed with. "I just… I thought you were going to… Sorry… Forget I said anything, okay…?"

He was stumbling over his words right and left. Vegeta could tell he was anxious.

"Oh?" Vegeta's smirk intensified. "Let me guess, you thought I was going to kiss you, didn't you…?"

"No. Well, I mean. Look, it's not my fault you started mentioning something about an indirect kiss…" Goku weakly argued. "You confused me…! With the way that you were acting, I couldn't tell if you were talking about the ice cream or me anymore."

Well, that was certainly one way of putting it.

"I see... Well, do you want me to? To kiss you, I mean…" If Vegeta weren't drunk, there's no way he would have been this openly brazen right now, even if it were just to mess with him."

"I…" Goku was unsure how to even react to that.

"Don't worry, I'm joking... I already know that sort of thing is embarrassing for you. Heh, it's embarrassing for me, too…" Vegeta admitted. "I just… really wanted to tease you a bit… Sorry… I didn't scare you, did I…?"

"...N-No, not really… I'm just not used to seeing you act like this is all…" Goku laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Wow, that alcohol must have really done a number on you, huh…?"

"Maybe… I admit I have been a little out of it… You mind if I rest my head on you for a while?" Vegeta asked, not wanting to overstep his boundaries.

"Uh. Okay… Sure, I guess I don't mind." Goku said, a bit awkward, but not opposed.

Vegeta then leaned the side of his face against the other man's chest as if it were a pillow, mumbling something beneath his breath containing the word 'soft'.

Goku's cheeks turned even pinker in response. It didn't take much to realize that he was referring to his pecs.

He didn't respond to that. Instead, he was quick to change the conversation. "You know, I'm kinda surprised you stayed here as long as you did. Usually you'd have left by now."

"I just might if you don't shut up about it." Vegeta scoffed.

Goku giggled, but he could tell he had no intentions of doing so.

Another brief silence.

"Come to think of it, they'll probably be shooting off fireworks soon…" He said.

"Mn." Vegeta uttered, tiredly. The mix of alcohol and lack of sleep were finally starting to catch up with him.

After that, Goku slowly finished off the rest of the ice cream cone he had been eating, allowing Vegeta to rest against him.

Once he finished, he felt the sudden urge to hold Vegeta's hand. His fingers were only centimeters away from Vegeta's when he started to debate if this was even a good idea.

What if Vegeta gets mad at me? He doesn't always respond very well to this sort of thing.

I know we've held hands before and all, but this is different.

Still…

Chichi used to do it with me sometimes, so… maybe I could with him too…?

Swallowing, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Despite the uncertainty he was feeling, he finally moved his hand over and acted on the temptation.

Vegeta opened his eyes in response, feeling a warmth enter his chest when he saw that Goku's hand was resting on his. Just this once, he decided to let it slide, intertwining their fingers.

For a long time, they just sat there, neither saying anything, Vegeta too tired to and Goku too awkward to.

In that moment, Whis approached Vegeta, asking for him to come with him again. "Vegeta, can you come here for a moment? Lord Beerus wishes to speak with you."

Vegeta cursed beneath his breath. He knew he had no choice but to get up.

"Stay here. I'll be right back." He mumbled, exhausted, before walking off and leaving Goku by himself. Maybe he wasn't using good reasoning, but, once again, he tried to tell himself Goku would be okay.

Despite being told to stay, however, Goku soon found himself following after Vegeta until he suddenly felt a hand touch his backside.

"'ey."

He looked to his side to see a middle aged burly man with a mustache and beard.

"That yer boyfriend?" The man asked, slurring his speech. He was holding a bottle of whiskey and his breath stank.

"Yeah, why?" Goku stammered nervously, not liking how his hands started roaming around his body. How could somebody even do something like this so casually in front of others?

"Jus' wonderin'. 've seen ya 'round before, at the martial arts tournament. Son Goku, yeh…?"

"You know me?" Why am I just freezing up? Move. It should be so simple.

"Yer pretty good."

"Thanks…"

"Hey, wanna ditch that guy'n come back with me for a while to my place?"

"I think I should stay here. There's actually something I need to talk about with him about." Goku came up with any random excuse he could to get the guy to lay off. He knew fully well now what going to a stranger's place meant and he didn't want to go through that again.

"Can'that wait?" The man asked. "You can talk to'm later."

"I don't know, I don't think he would like it if I went behind his back like that…" Goku said.

"'s fine. He doesn'hav'ta know if y'dun'tell 'm." The man argued. There's no telling how many drinks he had had, he wasn't using logic at all. Of course Vegeta would know.

All of a sudden the man, started hugging against him and trying to urge him to follow. "Come'on, I live right down the road. It'll only be for a lil'while."

As he said that, he tightened his grip on his butt.

"…I don't feel comfortable with this." What's wrong with me? I'm a lot stronger than he is. I could easily fight him off if I tried, so why aren't I?

And why has my tail scar been so sensitive lately? I haven't felt this way in years…

Goku spoke out several more times in hopes of getting him to leave him alone.

Unfortunately, the man refused to take no for an answer. At some point, he started becoming more forceful and aggressive.

"I'm sorry, I really don't have time for this. Maybe some other time?" His voice was weak.

He didn't actually have any intentions of actually doing anything with him, but he didn't want to make him angry. Lying and dismissing himself politely was the best option he could come up with.

Still, the man refused to stop. The physical contact was suffocating to Goku, he felt like he was about to collapse. Flashbacks ran through his head as he shut out his surroundings and, in that moment, Goku completely froze up, actually about to cave and go with him.

That's when a voice spoke up interrupting them.

"I believe he said he wasn't interested in you, human."

It was Beerus. He was eating a stick of Dango and had just approached them, soon followed by Whis and Vegeta.

"You bastard! Get your filthy hands off of him!" Vegeta made no hesitation to punch the man in the face, sending him crashing into several stands and causing them to collapse. "Kakarot is mine, you hear me?! Nobody's allowed to touch him, especially not some scum like you…!"

"Wait, did he just say his? Are those two a couple or something?" Beerus quipped, watching them, as he stood back further towards Whis.

"Oh my, are you really just now figuring that out, My Lord?" Whis asked with a smile. "I thought it was pretty obvious they've been together for a while now. I've even seen them kiss a few times now."

"Is that so…? Well, I knew they had gotten closer, but I didn't realize it was something romantic…" Beerus pondered it. "How fascinating…"

With that thought in mind, they turned their attention back to the two Saiyans.

"Wait, Vegeta!" Goku had just barely managed to pull Vegeta off of the man, whose face was busted in and bloody, hugging him from behind. "You've got to stop! Please… Don't do this…"

"Why shouldn't I?! That piece of shit was harassing you- If I hadn't stepped in when I did, then-"

Vegeta fumed when he saw the man get up and run off screaming, his shattered alcohol bottle left behind. "Coward! Get back here! I'll kill you!"

His mind was so fueled with rage that all he could see was red. The way the man had touched him was completely unforgivable in Vegeta's eyes.

Goku kept his hold on him, knowing if he let Vegeta go now, he would probably kill the man. "It's okay now…! Just let him go. He's not bothering me anymore…"

Vegeta reluctantly complied, but turned his gaze to the crowd that was watching it, glaring at them. "You all saw what that piece of shit was doing to him, how uncomfortable he was, yet not a single one of you thought to step in to stop him?! What's wrong with you people?!"

"Why's that our problem, huh? A true man should be able to defend himself…" Some guy suddenly sniggered.

"Yeah, how 'bout try teaching yer boyfriend to stand up for himself, then maybe that wouldn't have happened."

"You know what his problem is? He's spineless!"

"He almost went with him too! It's pretty obvious he wanted it. I bet he actually likes getting dicked in the ass, submissive faggot."

The voices went on, chuckling following. Most of them were teenagers, but, despite their age and immaturity, Vegeta was on the verge of killing every single one of them, his anger reaching its peak.

The final string holding Vegeta together snapped when somebody spouted out, "Go kill yourself, faggot."

That's where he lost it.

"That… DOES IT!" He let out a loud roar, allowing his energy to leak out around him. He almost entirely ignored Goku's words telling him not to kill them.

Screams were heard everywhere as he sent a ki blast into the ground, creating a small crater near some of their feet. It didn't hit anybody but it was enough to shake them with fear. "Get the hell out of my sight right now, or, so help me, I will END each and every single one of you!"

They immediately did as told, scurrying off in an instant.

Goku could feel his heart pounding in his chest, a wave of lightheadedness passing over him.

"Vegeta, I need to… sit down…" he strained to speak, gasping for air.

"Kakarot, what's wrong?" Vegeta immediately turned around, focusing his full attention back to his lover.

"Can't… breathe…" Goku trembled as he clutched at his chest, a dull pain shooting through it.

"It's alright, I've got you, I'm right here." Vegeta immediately felt all of his anger subside when Goku collapsed in his arms. Due to the odd position, he had to kneel down to the ground, to get a better hold on him. "I need you to try to breathe slower for me. Can you do that?"

Goku didn't respond. He couldn't.

Shit. I've got to do something. If he stays here, he's only going to become more overwhelmed.

"He's having another panic attack. I'm taking him somewhere else." He took out his card and offered it to Beerus and Whis. "Here, purchase whatever you want with this."

Whis grabbed it. "Vegeta, wait."

"What is it now?" Vegeta asked impatiently.

Whis waved his staff, and all of a sudden a bag of ice dropped into his hand, which he then tossed to Vegeta. "Take this with you."

Vegeta thanked him before lifting Goku in his arms and flying off.

"You know, I'm actually kind of surprised you spoke up for him a few minutes ago, My Lord." Whis said.

Beerus couldn't deny it, but had to play coy. "...Yeah, and so what if I did? I just think some people should learn to keep their hands to themselves. It's disgusting."

…

"Everything is going to be alright now, I'm bringing you somewhere quieter, okay? For now, I just need you to breathe." Vegeta spoke as softly as he could manage, holding Goku in his arms. Goku was now crying.

"...When… When he touched me, I just… I froze up again… like I always do and he…" he gasped.

Vegeta's eyes contorted with pain when he heard the words the other Saiyan was trying to say.

"It's okay… You're safe now..." He assured him, ignoring the world as it passed them by. "He can't hurt you anymore..."

After a few minutes, he found a nearby park away from the festival and flew down to a tree which he leaned Goku against.

Goku began again. "...When he started touching me, it was like it was happening to me all over again, and I couldn't… I couldn't move… It…"

"It took you off guard, I know. It's okay… Your reaction was normal… He had no business putting his hands on you like that." Vegeta said, reaching up and to move some of his hair out of his eyes.

"...The stuff they said about me, I…" Goku clawed into his wrist with frustration.

"What they said about you was wrong, Kakarot… Ignore them… Hey, stop that…" Vegeta had to grab Goku's hand to stop him from scratching himself. But, much to Vegeta's frustration, it seemed like Goku was intent on doing just what he wanted him not to. He moved around where he was facing Goku and could get a better grip on hand. He held it down tightly to his lap. "...Would you like to hold some of the ice that Whis gave us? That helped you last night, right?"

"Mn." Goku gave him no real response.

"Here, try it." Vegeta took out a few pieces and handed them to him.

He watched with some relief as Goku held them, finally seeming to calm down some.

After they had melted, Goku asked only one question.

"Can you… hold me?" He could only hope that Vegeta would be okay with it.

"Yeah, of course…" the Prince did so without hesitation, wrapping his arms around Goku's neck in a gentle embrace.

Goku felt himself melt in the warmth, slowly reaching up and hugging Vegeta's waist. The prince blushed slightly at that, but he didn't mind.

Another silence settled between them, Goku trying to gather his thoughts again, Vegeta giving him the time he needed.

"What should we do about the stands that got destroyed…? I'd feel kind of bad about it if we just left it like that." Goku said.

Honestly, Vegeta had no desire to mess with it, considering plenty of those stall keepers also saw what was going on and did nothing. But saying that wouldn't help the situation.

"Forget that, I'll pay them back later." Vegeta dismissed his worries, briefly looking up when he heard the sound of distant crackling. "Are you still interested in seeing the show?"

"Yeah, I guess so. But I don't really want to go back there right now… Not after what happened…" Goku mumbled.

"Then hold still." Vegeta said, with a tinge of mischief.

"Vegeta, what are you-?!" Goku's face turned red, startled when the other Saiyan picked him up bridal style yet again and flew into the sky. He eventually pouted. "You don't have to carry me, you know. I can still fly."

It wasn't that Vegeta hadn't carried him like this before, but this time was different.

"Stop whining, idiot. And focus on the stupid fireworks, already." Vegeta scolded him, stopping in mid air when they were close enough to the area to get a good view.

The truth was he just wanted an excuse to hold Goku longer, but he couldn't say that out loud.

"..." Goku paused for a moment, still slightly bitter. Fortunately, he relaxed after a bit, deciding to just go along with it. Being in Vegeta's arms like this did feel kind of nice. He gave a small smile, before resting his head against his chest, the lights illuminating his eyes and face.

Vegeta observed him with a gentle expression.

Gods, why the hell is he so beautiful…?

"Can you see them okay?" He asked. "We can always go higher if you need me to."

"It's alright. You don't have to do that." Goku assured. "I can see them just fine. Hey, Vegeta…?"

"Hm…?"

"What's a faggot?" Goku then looked up at him with curious eyes, he looked slightly troubled. "That's what one of those guys called me, right…? I was wondering what it meant."

Vegeta's heart skipped a beat when the word left his mouth.

"That's… not a word you need to know…" His expression was painful as he spoke.

Damn them, he should have never been exposed to any of that.

"He said I was… submissive… that I wanted that guy to…" Goku lowered his head in shame.

"Who cares what he said? Whether… you are or not… it… isn't an excuse… to do that to somebody…" Vegeta buried his face in Goku's hair. "I'm sorry, Kakarot…"

"For what?" Goku asked.

"I failed you... I wasn't by your side when you needed me." Vegeta's voice cracked. "And not just that, but… our date was ruined... I… wanted this to be special… for just the two of us, but…"

"What are you talking about? This is special. Normally, you'd never suggest this sort of thing, so just knowing you went out of your way like this for me… It really means a lot." Goku smiled, reaching up and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "Besides, you beat the crap out of that guy. If not for you, I…"

He didn't even need to finish the sentence.

"Still, that sick fuck groped you… I…" Vegeta argued back, his voice shaking.

"You couldn't have known that he would do that." Goku pointed out, not wanting him to blame himself.

"Maybe not, but… I wish I had killed that bastard when I had the chance…" Vegeta growled.

"It's alright. It would have caused us a lot of trouble if you had. Just… In the future, let's decide on something quieter, okay?" Goku said.

"...Oh? I'll bet you're thinking about a certain steakhouse, aren't you?" Vegeta practically read his mind, the corners of his lips curling upwards.

Getting his mind off of it probably was for the best.

"Maybe…" Goku hesitated, shyly running a finger across Vegeta's vest. "Their food is pretty good."

"Is that so? You really liked it that much, did you?" Vegeta's smirk widened.

"Yeah… I can't help it… Ya really won me over back then…" Goku admitted.

"Well, it looks like we'll have to go there pretty soon, after all, then, won't we…, Kakarot…?" Vegeta purred, before pressing his lips against Goku's, more than satisfied to receive another blush from him.

"Mn. Sounds… great…" Goku closed his eyes when the other man's tongue entered his mouth, bracing his hand against Vegeta's chest and clutching at the fabric.

…

By the time Whis and Beerus met back up with Vegeta, Goku had fallen asleep in his arms.

"You're still planning to stay here on Earth, correct?" Whis asked, after he had handed Vegeta back his card.

"Yeah, I'm going to see if Bulma can find him a doctor. One that could help him with these issues he's been having..." Vegeta said.

"Well, just be sure to keep us updated, will you? I want Goku back on his feet as soon as possible so I can spar with him again some time." Beerus said.

Vegeta's focus remained most on Goku's sleeping face. "That's what I was planning on."

Not for Beerus of course, but all the same.

"In any case, I think it's time we should be leaving, Whis." Beerus yawned, placing a hand on Whis's shoulder. "I'm in long due of a nap right about now."

"Yes, My Lord, as you wish." Whis said simply, before offering Vegeta a small smile. "Vegeta? If you could, let Goku know we said we hope he feels better, will you…?"

"Yeah…" Vegeta replied in a low voice.

Whis and Beerus took off only moments after, leaving Vegeta alone with the sleeping Saiyan.

…

"Therapy? Oh, so you finally decided to take me up on my offer, after all." Bulma smirked when she heard Vegeta's request.

"...I'd… rather not, but he needs medication... It's… the nightmares… They've been… getting worse and I think it has something to do with me since we're… together now… He could have died last night, Bulma… There was… blood everywhere, it was all over him, and all over me. Please, I need you… I can't do this alone anymore…" Vegeta was visibly shaking, and tears were forming in his eyes.

Bulma's eyes widened slightly at hearing that. She could tell he was putting every bit of his pride aside to do this. Getting up, she hugged him, careful not to wake up Goku, who was still in his arms. "Hey… It's alright… We're going to get him help… Listen, there's actually a place I have in mind. I'll call them first thing tomorrow morning and have them schedule an intake, okay?"

"Alright…" Vegeta said.

"That being said… This could take a while…" Bulma paused, not sure how to approach the subject. "So… Under… most circumstances… Like in the case of an employee self-harming or showing risks of suicide, I would usually suggest to have them admitted to a hospital for a psychiatric evaluation, but I'm not so sure Goku would respond very well to something like that, since he could easily leave if he wanted to."

"But why a hospital? What can they do? That's for physical wounds. This is different." Vegeta muttered.

"Well, not exactly…" Bulma corrected. "It's like this. When somebody is admitted to the ER for mental health reasons, they're put into a separate unit entirely where they won't have access to sharp objects or anything that would pose a threat to their safety. A therapist at some point would have a talk with him, and then decide where to go from there. If Goku was, say, deemed at a risk of hurting himself, he would eventually be transferred to another place, which would be a mental facility. There, they could get him on some medication, and even help him find other outlets to deal with stress."

"Then... how long would he be in there for?" Vegeta asked. He had no intentions of admitting him right now, but he wanted to consider all possible options in case things got out of hand.

"It all depends. Due to lack of beds, it can take up to several weeks before a facility can take in new patients, but when they're admitted, unless it's as a resident, I'd say it would be anywhere from a few days to a month or so. As long as Goku behaves himself and doesn't keep trying to harm himself, he likely wouldn't be in there any longer than a week or two."

Easier said than done.

"..." Vegeta faltered. "What about visitation, then? Could I… see him while he was there?"

"Well, yes, but visitation is limited, so you wouldn't be able to be with him all the time. Most facilities have it set up as either once a day or once a week. Phone calls are limited as well, but that has much more leeway, depending on the facility. In the adult units, people are usually allowed to use the phones whenever, but they'll cut them off during groups and at night."

"I see…" Some part of Vegeta felt like it was wrong to think about, considering how much Goku hated hospitals, but if they could get him on medication sooner, that would theoretically be for the best.

The problem was, as Bulma had mentioned, Goku could leave whenever he wanted. And not only that, but Goku was by no means weak, if he had another incident like last night, then Vegeta wasn't so sure they would be able to hold him off, even with sedatives. It was better he stay with somebody he trusted.

And not just that, but the idea of putting him under the constant surveillance of doctors who would likely have to watch Goku bathe or shower wasn't an idea that Vegeta took very kindly to. He highly doubted Goku would either.

Such a task was something Vegeta himself would be more than capable of handling.

"I can tell you're nervous and I understand why… If I'm being honest, this is probably something you'd do better to talk with Goku about and see what he thinks, because unless he's willing to cooperate, then I don't really think that would be a good option for him."

"I have to agree. Even so, I do know he needs constant surveillance right now regardless." Vegeta finally admitted. "And I can't provide that for him by myself. Do you think you could help me? Be with him when I can't, I mean… You're one of the only people I could trust with this."

"Yeah, sure, I guess I don't mind… But I do have a job, so you'll have to stay with him at night." Bulma said.

"I know, that's what I was planning on…" Vegeta swallowed. "And, as for now, I'm going to hold off on hospitalization… Hopefully, if we're lucky, then it won't have to come to that."

"Well, in any case, you should probably get him to bed for now… We'll have to catch up on everything some other time." Bulma told him.

"Yeah… I'll do that." Vegeta said simply, before thanking her and going back to his room to lay Goku down in the bed.

He went back to the bathroom, changing into a loose tank top and sweatpants.

He scoffed a bit when he remembered he was still wearing the necklace that Goku had put on him. Despite that, he didn't bother taking it off. He didn't have the heart to, just knowing that Goku had spent basically all the money he had on it.

Upon returning to the bed, he caressed the other Saiyan's cheek, laying down next to him as he observed his sleeping face.

If only things had gone differently today. Why I ever thought a festival was a good idea is beyond me…

At least he got to watch the fireworks with me, but still-

"Vegeta… What time is it…?" Goku's groggy voice suddenly interrupted Vegeta's thoughts. He was obviously still tired.

"It's past midnight…" Vegeta said. "Listen, I've talked to Bulma… She's going to schedule you to be seen by a doctor, although it may be a while, so we'll just have to wait things out for now."

"Kay." Goku murmured.

"Also-" All of a sudden, Vegeta felt Goku's fingers brush against his chest. He was playing with the pendant from the necklace he had given him.

"That necklace looks good on you. It matches with your eyes." Goku said with a loving gaze.

"Moron. We both have the same eye color." Vegeta said softly.

"Yeah, but there's something different about yours…" Goku murmured.

"Oh? And what would that be, Kakarot…?" Vegeta inquired.

"Dunno. I can't explain it." Goku replied shyly. "They're strange."

"Strange, huh?" Vegeta smirked. "Well, I would certainly hope you mean that in a good way…"

"I do…" Goku gazed up at him shyly. "I really like your eyes."

"I like yours too…" Vegeta brushed a thumb over his cheek. "They're kind. The opposite of mine."

"Yours can be kind too sometimes… A lot of times, in fact… Like the way you look when you hold Bulla… Or me… And when you smile… But also…" Goku felt his cheeks become warm as he looked down. "I really like it when you get serious too… and fight for the people you care about, or even when you get all competitive… I just… don't like it when you get angry at me, or sad, or when you worry about me… Cuz I don't always know how to deal with those things… You know… I've been told before… that I don't really understand people… or the way others think… And maybe they're right about me… But… it's not… that I don't understand at all… Just that… I have a hard time… knowing how to respond to certain things… Some people think… that I lack empathy cuz of that… That all I care about is fighting… But… martial arts… is the only way I really know how to connect with people…"

"Even so, that doesn't mean you lack empathy…" Vegeta traced his fingers across Goku's jawline down to his neck. "Your response is to internalize things even if it appears on the outside that you don't care sometimes… Me…? I do the opposite… I lash out at people and destroy things. If anything, I'm the one without empathy…"

"Hey, that's not true…" Goku argued weakly.

"Isn't it, though…?" Vegeta ruminated, a saddened expression. "I've killed people before… and wiped out countless civilizations in the blink of an eye. When I die, I'll be going straight to hell for all the things I've done… I've even been there before, so I would know..."

Half the people he had killed, he didn't even have any regrets about. It was more of a surprise that Goku could even love a person like him.

"Still… You're changing… You're not like you were back then…" Goku's ears turned red when he felt Vegeta's hand resting over his heart, which was racing a mile a minute.

"You're wrong. I still kill people… I'm not merciful like you are…" Vegeta argued.

"Yeah, but… you usually have reasons for that… Besides… there are also times I've seen it was necessary, like with Frieza… and others…" Goku said.

"All the same… There's nothing I could ever do… to atone for my sins… or the sins of our race. I have blood on my hands, Kakarot, more than you could even imagine. Like all the Namekians I killed back on Nemek. Those are things I can never take back. So compared to me… You're one of the most empathetic people I know… Or you wouldn't… keep sparing- enemies like how you spared me… And you wouldn't have forgiven me either. If anything, you're too empathetic."

"Heh. You really think that's really any better…?" Goku avoided his gaze.

"Well, it certainly beats all the crazy shit I've done." Vegeta replied with dry humor.

"Maybe, but… It almost seems like most of the people that have attacked Earth or hurt our friends were all connected to me somehow… Plus a whole lot of them ended up later becoming my allies. So I dunno… Doesn't that kinda make me a bad guy too?" Goku mused in a low voice.

"No, Kakarot, you're not a bad guy…" Vegeta said. "Just as I'm not a hero."

"I never really considered myself a hero either, though." Goku thought about it. "I'm just some dumb guy who likes fighting."

"Heh, I don't really know if anybody is truly a hero. We all have our own reasons for fighting." Vegeta said. "Especially us Saiyans."

"...Hey, Vegeta…?" Goku's eyes darted around, anywhere but at his partner. "Are you… really sure… you're okay with this? With me… not fighting, I mean… I expected you to get angry or something, or tell me I was a coward for it. I did quit, after all."

"And so did I for a while. After you died fighting Cell… That's why I'm in no place to judge you for that. I would be a fool to." Vegeta could sense that he was nervous. They both were, the close proximity was something that they had gotten fairly used to by now, but because of their pasts it made things awkward at times. "Besides, look at Bulma, she was never a fighter, either, yet I still fell in love with her."

"...What happened… between you guys, anyways?" Goku wasn't sure if it was an appropriate question, but even Bulma hadn't given anybody many answers. "You never really… told me about it…"

"...We just… decided we were better off separated… Well, mainly me. But the decision was ultimately the same from both ends..." Vegeta explained, vaguely.

"Yeah, but didn't-you loved her, Vegeta, so why…?" Goku probed.

"It's… not important… Sometimes, people… They just don't work out, and that's alright." Vegeta said simply. "At the very least, it wasn't anything like what was going on between you and Chichi…"

"...It was… really hard with her sometimes… cuz I care so much about her, ya know? But… it's like… one minute she can be the nicest person ever and then the next… something will set her off and she starts… she starts screaming out of nowhere… And the things she says about me... I just… couldn't… deal with it…"

"You shouldn't have to. To be married with somebody who makes you feel bad about yourself… Sorta seems unfair to you, doesn't it?" Vegeta pointed out.

"Well, it's not like I can hate her or anything. She is a good cook." Goku smiled softly. "She's strong too, and she's always looked after Gohan and Goten when I wasn't around or able to. Plus…, she didn't… constantly put them in danger like I have… She's a way better parent than I've ever been."

"You're not all bad." Vegeta mumbled. "I've made a lot of mistakes too… With Trunks. It seems to run in the family... I wasn't particularly close with my father, either. I respected him as a warrior, of course… But looking back now, I realized he was wrong… about a lot of things… That's why… when we had Bulla… I decided… I didn't want to screw up again, like I did before. Or like how he had screwed up with me."

"Heh, I don't remember my parents… or their faces… My brother… he told me… that the reason I was sent here… was to kill all the people on Earth. But I dunno if that's true…" Goku ruminated.

"...You know… Raditz sometimes talked about your mother." Vegeta recalled.

"He did…? What was she like?" Goku asked, gazing at him with curious but tired eyes.

"...Her name was Gine... She was kind… but also stubborn… a little like you… But she wasn't really cut out as a fighter, so she became a butcher instead and worked at our meat factory…"

"Huh… Is that so…" Goku thought about it. "And what was your mom like…?"

Vegeta paused for a long moment, a small smile resting on his face. "She was a proud woman, and incredibly feisty too. Even my own Father couldn't handle her completely. If I'm being honest, she was probably the most terrifying woman I've ever known, even more terrifying than Bulma…"

"Scarier than Chichi too?" Goku asked.

"Definitely." Vegeta said.

"You know... It kinda reminds me of you sometimes, though… You're feisty too... That's something I really like about you." Goku said, and Vegeta couldn't help but get the feeling it was some strange attempt at flirting. But that's when Goku's expression became much more tender. "Especially when you get all passionate and start giving speeches about your pride… If not for you, I… I don't think I would have been able to accept where I came from, or being called Kakarot. I was ashamed of it… knowing the things our people did… And then finding out what happened to my grandfather…"

Tears started working their way to his eyes again.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of…" Vegeta once again gently wiped them away when they fell, before tracing some fingers along his cheek. "The sins of our race… The only person here that bears any responsibility for that is me. You're innocent, Kakarot. So you shouldn't be made to feel bad about being a Saiyan just because of what others have done. You're not like them, or me. You're different. And about what happened to your grandfather too… you couldn't have known… So please… try not to beat yourself up about that so much..."

"...He's… the closest thing that I ever had to a parent growing up and I was so young when he died… Maybe that's why… I don't really know how to be a good father, not like how Chichi wants me to be, anyway… I guess I just wasn't cut out for it… Cuz… there's still so many things I'm learning, even now..." Goku said.

"There's a lot of things I'm still learning too… It just takes time." Vegeta said.

"Still… You do really good with Bulla." Goku offered.

"Well, I try my best… but I don't think I'll ever be perfect." Vegeta mumbled.

"None of us are. We've all made mistakes. Just trying our best… that's really all we can do… Just like you're trying your best with me." Goku said. "Yet all I've been doing is making things difficult for you."

"You're trying your best too. I can tell…" Vegeta wrapped his arm around Goku's waist, pulling him closer to kiss him.

Goku closed his eyes, returning it. "...I love you."

"I love you too…" Vegeta said, in a low voice.

He still found it somewhat awkward to say, but he knew that Goku needed to hear it.

Goku's chest burned in response, before he embraced Vegeta's neck, "I'm gonna go back to sleep now… kay…?"

"You do that… Just let me know if you need anything..." Vegeta said.

They were in an awkward position but neither one of them cared.

Goku uttered a small sound akin to a confirmation, eventually dozing off.

It would be another night without sleep, but Vegeta could deal with that.

…

Some time later, Vegeta found himself absentmindedly scrolling through his phone out of boredom.

He didn't use his phone often, but it sure as hell beat doing nothing.

It wasn't long before he was dragged into watching random videos and other stuff out of sheer boredom, even occasionally scrolling through more articles on how to deal with a situation like Goku was going through.

At some point, around 4 am to be exact, he felt Goku shift on the bed beside him, draping a hand over his chest. Actually, before this, he had been moving around quite frequently, but, this time, Vegeta heard him sniffling.

He was crying in his sleep. Vegeta turned on his side, rubbing his hand across Goku's head and brushing the tears away in hopes that it would calm him down. Unfortunately, despite his attempts, Goku eventually woke up in a panic anyway.

When he saw Vegeta's hand, he jolted slightly, pulling in on himself, stifled sobs escaping his lips.

"Kakarot, it's just me… I'm not going to hurt you…" Vegeta soothed, pulling his hand away. "Another nightmare, was it?'

"It was… again…" For a long time, Goku looked like he wanted to say something more. In the end, however, no words came out. All he could do was helplessly cling to Vegeta.

"It's alright… you don't have to say…" Vegeta gently played with his hair, pecking the top of his head.

"Vegeta…? Do you… really think meds could help me…?" Goku said after a long time, looking up at him like his answer meant everything.

"Well, I do believe…" Vegeta hesitated, knowing fully well there were no guarantees. "that we at least have to try."

"But what if they don't…?" Goku asked. "What if they make everything worse…?"

"Then we stop them immediately and have you put on something new. You can't allow yourself to lose hope just because one medication makes you feel a certain way… Trial and error."

"...Mn…" Goku curled up in his arms. "Well… I just… hope you're right about this…"

Not much was said after that and slowly, he drifted back off again, leaving Vegeta to once again watch after him.

…

The next day, Vegeta found himself training in the gravity chamber, as he always did when he needed to let off steam or just to stay in shape. The room was currently set to two hundred times gravity and he had worked up a sweat, some minor injuries here and there covering his body.

Goku watched him with some level of excitement. Vegeta's movements were always so graceful when he was training alone, swerving in and out of the way of the lasers with ease, even taking the attacks head on at times.

And so nimble. The exact opposite of how he was during battle, where he was always tense and uptight. It was when he trained by himself that Vegeta truly let loose. Even though it was practically intangible - because Vegeta would never spar with him that way - it was still a sight that Goku had come to love watching.

But there was one constant Goku found himself thinking whether Vegeta was training by himself or fighting an opponent.

"Man, Vegeta's so awesome..."

He couldn't keep his eyes off of him.

His face flushed in embarrassment when the other Saiyan's gaze suddenly met his.

Vegeta looked away almost immediately, but secretly took some pride in the fact that Goku was watching him with such adoration.

…

After a long time, Vegeta turned off the artificial gravity and training bots, approaching Goku with a smirk and folded arms. "You sure like to stare at me a lot, don't you, Kakarot? Did you really think I wouldn't notice?"

"Ah, sorry…" Goku had to lower his head, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. "It's…"

Vegeta sat down in front of him, bracing a hand on the floor as he leaned in and cupped Goku's chin. "May I…?"

Goku nodded, blushing.

Vegeta then pulled Goku's face towards his and pressing their lips together.

He trailed off when Vegeta traced his thumb down his cheek.

A moment of silence settled between them, before Vegeta observed him with an intense, but fond, expression. "...You're cute when you blush, you know that…?"

Another kiss.

"You're blushing, too..." Goku pointed out, suddenly feeling weak in the knees.

Vegeta made him weak.

"And so what if I am…? All of that's your fault." Vegeta muttered.

And another.

"My fault…? How is it my fault…? You're the one who started this, Vegeta. You finish it." Goku retorted.

"Fine then. I will." Vegeta huffed slightly. "But don't say I didn't warn you…"

He almost immediately pinned him to the wall in a kissing match. His sweat drenched body was pressed against Goku's, both of their faces quickly becoming red from the heat of the battle in each other's mouths.

Vegeta for the most part was winning, but Goku wasn't complaining. It was a satisfying feeling for both of them, Vegeta being the more assertive one and Goku letting the smaller Saiyan have his way with him. It somehow just felt right to them.

At some point, Goku pulled back, out of breath.

"Wait, Vegeta… we shouldn't… be doing this here." He said, bashfully, arms wrapped around him and fingers running through his hair. "What if somebody sees us?"

The truth was he actually liked how passionate the other man was getting. He was just shy - And Vegeta knew this.

"Let them." He told him bluntly as he turned his focus to Goku's cheek, traveling down to his neck. "We're just kissing…"

The only reason he was actually brazen enough to say that was because nobody was watching.

"Mn… still… Shouldn't this sort of thing be done in private…?" Goku mumbled.

"We are in private…" Vegeta pointed out, before smirking. "But alright. If you insist. Let's go back to our room and continue where we left off, shall we?"

"Okay." Goku said.

Vegeta started to lean in towards him one more time, but was stopped by the door opening.

"Um, Mr. Vegeta, sir…" It was one of the staff. A woman in her mid twenties to be exact.

"What do you want? Can't you see we're busy?" Irritated by the interruption, he glanced over his shoulder, glaring at her.

Goku looked away, flustered at being seen like this.

"I'm sorry, it's Ms. Bulma. She's having an issue with Bulla." The woman said, visibly uncomfortable at noticing the position the two Saiyans were in.

"With Bulla? What's wrong?" Vegeta quickly became concerned, but he didn't move from his spot.

"Well, she has a fever, so she won't stop crying. Ms. Bulma said she wants to see you."

"...Tell her I'll be there in a minute." Vegeta said before the woman excused herself. When the door was closed again, he let out a sigh, running fingers through the soft strands of Goku's hair. "I'm sorry, it looks like we'll have to finish this later, then…"

"It's fine." Goku said understandingly. "Your baby's important too, right?"

"Yeah…" Vegeta swallowed, staring into his eyes for what seemed like an eternity until finally he claimed his lips one last time - softly - before urging Goku to come with him.

…

Bulla's face was pink from the flush due to the fever and her breathing was erratic amongst her crying. When Vegeta entered the room, Bulma had never been more relieved to see him.

"There you are." She was elated. "Do you mind looking after Bulla for a while? I need to run to the pharmacy and grab some more medication. Nothing I've given her has worked so far. At the very least, you might be able to get her to relax some until I get back."

"...Yeah, sure…" Vegeta gently took Bulla into his arms.

"Keep an eye on her temperature." Bulma instructed, leaving a thermometer on the shelf. "If it gets any higher than 104, then she'll have to go to the hospital."

With that said, Bulma exited the room, leaving Vegeta and Goku alone with the crying baby.

Vegeta sat down on the floor near the crib. Goku seemed uncertain what to say, wanting to give him space to deal with his daughter. But he did sit down next to him.

Vegeta started rocking her in his arms in hopes it would distract her from the pain. But unfortunately for him, none of his usual methods seemed to be working.

"You wouldn't happen to have any ideas on how to stop a baby from crying, would you?" Vegeta asked, giving in enough to ask him for help. He knew fully well that if Bulla kept crying, it would only make her fever worse.

"Well, when I was little, my grandpa used to sing to me sometimes. He wasn't very good at it, but it did help me relax some when I had headaches." Goku said.

"Sing…? You can't be serious right now…" Vegeta trailed off. "No, I won't…"

"Why not?" Goku tilted his head. "Nobody else will hear you outside of me and Bulla." Goku rationalized.

"That is not the issue here…" Vegeta muttered, his face burning red. "It's… embarrassing."

"Well, if it helps you feel any better, I honestly can't sing worth a darn, so I'm sure you'll do just fine." Goku laughed a bit. "Come on, do it for me. I really wanna hear you sing."

Vegeta's eyes widened for a moment when he heard that part, a conflicted expression forming on his face. He gnawed at the inside of his cheek with apprehension.

It's only Kakarot… And Bulla… Nobody else…

"...Damn it-Fine, but you had better not tell a single soul about this, you hear?" Vegeta's gaze was more intense than Goku had ever seen before.

"I won't." Goku grinned.

Vegeta drew in a deep breath, slowly calming his nerves. After a long silence, he started to sing.

Except this would be far different from the time at Bulma's birthday party. Much softer. The tune was similar to that of a lullaby, gentle and relaxing. Goku's heart melted at the sound.

The words, meanwhile, were in another language, one that Goku somehow instinctively recognized even if he didn't understand the words of it.

This song… It must be Saiyan…

I wonder what it means.

Before he realized what was even happening, tears welled up in his eyes. He clasped a hand over his mouth to stifle his sobs.

Why am I crying…? I feel like I've heard this before. But where…?

Vegeta gazed back up at Goku, letting his singing come to an immediate halt when he realized he was crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, worriedly.

"I don't know… I just started crying all of a sudden…" Goku desperately tried his best to wipe away the tears in his eyes. "Your voice is so pretty. I didn't know you could sing like that…"

"I can, but I usually prefer not to..." Vegeta replied vaguely, looking away with a downcast look on his face.

"Hey, it looks like singing did the trick, though. She stopped crying." Goku pointed out, even though his voice cracked.

"You're right…" Vegeta seemed surprised when he saw that Bulla had closed her eyes. "Get the thermometer. I'm going to check her temperature."

Sniffling, Goku got up and did as asked, handing him the device.

Vegeta placed it in her ear, measuring it.

When it beeped, it read 102. He then placed it back down beside him and continued to hold Bulla in his arms. At some point, he could feel his own eyelids becoming heavy. He really needed to sleep soon, but he couldn't until Bulma came back. Not just because of his baby but because of Goku too.

For a while, neither one of the Saiyans said much of anything. Vegeta continued to check Bulla's temperature, absentmindedly keeping his eye on Goku, who had started playing around with his Rubik's cube out of boredom. If there was one thing Vegeta had learned about Goku, it was that he was surprisingly dedicated when it came to solving puzzles. He wasn't particularly fast, but when he actually started one, he refused to put it down until it was completed.

Goku's eyebrows were furrowed as he continued to twist the thing around.

He looks so focused.

Vegeta could tell that he was obviously becoming frustrated, but at the very least he appeared to be enjoying the challenge. He found the sight somewhat intriguing to watch.

Eventually, Bulma returned with medication.

"Thanks for watching her for me." Bulma said, lifting Bulla out of his arms when he stood up.

"Yeah, it's no problem…" Vegeta replied. "Oh, by the way… Did you ever call them? About Kakarot, I mean. The doctor."

He didn't want to rush her, he knew that she had a lot going on, but he did find it important.

Goku paused at hearing his name mentioned.

"Yeah, I called them this morning." Bulma said. "They've scheduled him for an intake on the 17th."

She then moved closer towards him and lowered her voice. "But also… They said that if there's any kind of emergency in the meantime, they recommended he should still be brought to a hospital."

"I see… Thanks. Kakarot-" Vegeta looked over at Goku, who looked distressed. He had only heard bits and pieces of what she had said, but he did recognize the word hospital.

"I don't wanna go to a hospital…" Goku said, interrupting him.

"Calm down. We're not sending you to one." Vegeta said.

"You're… not? Then what were you guys talking about?" Goku asked. "I know it had to do with me. I'm not stupid."

"It's-" Vegeta didn't even know how to broach this.

"Listen, Goku." Bulma decided to take the initiative on this one to explain it to him. "When people are… dealing the same things you've been going through, like urges to hurt themselves, they're often sent to a… place where they can get help…, from doctors who understand their issues and are able to put them on medication. People who could even help them find other outlets to channel out their feelings. It was only a suggestion, but nobody is making you go. Okay…?"

"...Mn." Goku still didn't seem too happy, but he didn't argue against it any further.

…

Vegeta and Bulma exchanged a few more words with each other before Vegeta decided he needed to sleep.

"I'm starting to get tired. I think I should probably go and rest for a while. As for you…" He looked over at Goku. "I want you to stay with Bulma until I get some sleep. You'll be fine, won't you?"

Even though some part of Goku didn't want Vegeta to leave his side right now, he didn't want to argue or break Vegeta's trust, so he decided to do as told. "...Yeah…"

Yet he was clearly insecure.

In that moment, Vegeta placed a hand on Goku's head and kneeled in front of him so they were at eye level again.

"Look, all I want right now is for you to be safe… This isn't anything personal. You know that, right?" Vegeta needed to know that he understood that he wasn't abandoning him.

"Mhm." Goku offered a small nod.

"Bulma… Are you really sure you don't… mind?" Vegeta asked, somewhat hesitantly. "Letting him stay with you, I mean…?"

"Of course not." Bulma smiled, although she was somewhat preoccupied by her baby. "It's not like this is the first time, after all. He practically lived with me when he was a little boy."

"You hear that? You'll be just fine. Now behave yourself, alright?" Vegeta instructed sternly, but his tone was affectionate.

Goku was quiet for a moment, but he nodded once more.

Vegeta then turned to Bulma but remained in the position.

"If he starts scratching himself, try having him hold ice. It should help ground him." He instructed, brushing some of Goku's bangs out of his eyes. "And he likes puzzles too, so if he gets anxious, then find something challenging to distract him with. I'm sure you have stuff around."

Goku didn't know what to think as he listened to Vegeta's instructions to Bulma. He didn't even really register what her response was, but his primary concern was Vegeta leaving his side. He had somewhat tuned out what he and Bulma were saying until:

"I'm going to bed now. I'll see you later." Vegeta said, awkwardly kissing him on the cheek. Normally, he'd never do something like that in front of others, but he knew that Goku needed it as some sort of reassurance that he wasn't abandoning him.

"Yeah, later…" Goku watched as Vegeta left the room. All of sudden, Bulma's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"So tell me, Goku… What's it like being with that prince of yours?" She joked, smirking when Vegeta had left the room.

"My prince…?" Goku considered the words on his tongue, not entirely sure what to think of saying that in such a context.

"Well, that is what he calls himself, isn't it?" Bulma pointed out. "The prince of all Saiyans. So that would make him your prince as well."

"Yeah, but calling him that feels weird. It'd be like if he suddenly started calling me 'Goku' or something. Then again, he did stick me with some stupid nickname right after we got together…"

"A nickname, huh?" Bulma's eyes narrowed, a mischievous grin resting on her face, making it obvious she wanted all the details he would offer.

"Just… promise me you won't tell anybody." Goku said.

"I won't." Bulma said, but the tone in her voice suggested otherwise. "But what's this nickname he gave you?"

"It's… Carrot Cake." Goku's voice suddenly became lower than usual. "He said my mouth tasted like carrots when we first… kissed."

Bulma immediately burst out laughing. "Wait, are you serious? Vegeta actually called you that? That's so unlike him."

"Would you stop laughing at me?" Goku pouted. "He only calls me that to mess with me."

"Well, in all fairness, your Saiyan name does sound a lot like carrot." Bulma pointed out, wiping some tears from her eyes that were from laughing too hard. "Maybe you should give him a nickname too, to get even with him."

"Like what?" Goku pondered it.

"I'm not sure, but nicknames will come naturally. I'm sure you'll think of something eventually." Bulma said. "Still… You never answered my question."

Goku's face turned red but he smiled, yet there was a tent of sadness in his eyes as he spoke.

"I… really like being with him. He makes me so... happy… but… I sometimes… wonder if… maybe he would be better off with somebody else…" He looked away.

"What? Goku, you can't actually believe that…" Bulma seemed a bit upset by his confession.

"I keep causing trouble for him…" Goku curled in on himself, clutching tightly at his upper arms. "He didn't even get to sleep the past couple nights because of me."

"Now hold on. Vegeta made that choice himself because he wants you to take care of yourself." Bulma had just put Bulla back in her crib, before walking over and sitting down in front of Goku.

"Yeah, but what's the point if all I do is drag him down with me?" Goku averted his gaze.

"Well," Bulma said, nudging his shoulder. "try to imagine what you would do in his situation."

"Me…?" Goku found it hard to imagine Vegeta ever resorting to such a coping mechanism, but if he had, then... "I'd… want to do everything I could for him… to help him feel better…. The idea of him hurting himself like I have would really scare me…"

"So in this theoretical situation, would you think he was a burden for needing someone to help him…?" Bulma challenged.

"No, of course not… I…" Goku paused. "I just wouldn't… always know how to help..."

Bulma smiled in response. "Then there you have your answer."

Only then did Goku start to realize her point.

…

Goku had an issue with touching things too much. Bulma made it a point to tell him to stay away from her equipment. Of course that didn't stop him.

Goku continuously asked questions, constantly peeking over her shoulder out of some minor curiosity as she tinkered with the machinery, even if he didn't understand anything about it. So it shouldn't have been a surprise when he accidentally breaking one of her propellers.

It was easily replaceable, but that didn't make it any less irritating.

"What's this button do?"

Bulma looked up at some point, panicked when she saw him near one of her recent projects. "Don't touch that!"

It was at this point that she knew Goku had to be kept distracted. If only her father were here, then he could at least keep him occupied.

"Okay, look, Goku. I get you're anxious, but I can't have you destroying my stuff." Bulma laid her foot down, voicing her frustration.

"I'm sorry, Bulma. I didn't know…" Goku said, lowering his head. He couldn't help but feel bad.

"It's alright, I just want you to be aware." Bulma sighed a bit, before reaching into her desk and grabbing a couple cat toys, one that was a laser pen and the other including a stick that had a ball connected to a string. She handed them to Goku. "Here. My father's out right now, so why don't you go over there and play with Scratch for a while? He looks lonely."

"Okay." Goku took the toys and did as told, walking off to fool around with the cat for a while.

He absentmindedly pointed the laser at some of the walls to get Scratch to chase it around, which he did so for a while, but cats are finicky so it wasn't long before he lost interest in it.

After that, Goku was left to his own devices again. Bulma didn't want to be bothered right now, so his only choice was to try to be patient.

Easier said than done.

He tried to distract himself with the Rubik's cube, but that only managed to keep his attention for so long.

The memories once again began to invade his mind. It was like he was reliving that day all over again, consumed by the feeling of that man on top of him; holding him down..

And that's when he saw it - A broken glass shard, lying underneath some strange machine.

Goku didn't even think twice before moving towards it and picking it up.

"Goku, what are you doing down there? I can get you a chair and desk if you'd like, that way you won't have to crawl around on the floor anymore." Bulma suddenly offered, catching him off guard.

She didn't seem to notice the shard.

"Oh, uh… Sure." Goku said, nervously.

Bulma smiled. "Come with me. There's some in the room down the hall."

…

"...By the way, Vegeta said you like puzzles, right?" Bulma later asked after she had found him a small fold up desk and chair, which he was seated in. "I think I have a 500 piece one in my desk if you're interested. It might be kind of boring, but-"

"That's fine…" Goku cut her off, surprising her.

"You want it?" She asked.

Goku nodded, secretly fidgeting with the glass shard.

"Alright. Just give me a second, I've got to find it first." Bulma said, fumbling through her drawers, before finally locating it. It had the picture of a dog on it. "Ah, there it is. Here, this should help keep you occupied, right?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Bulma…" Goku murmured.

"It's no problem, but, listen..." Bulma could sense that he wasn't feeling too well. He seemed wound up. "If you happen to start having any kind of bad thoughts, then I want you to let me know, okay?"

Another nod.

People told him that a lot, and Goku responded how they wanted him to. Said what they wanted him to. But did that mean he would actually ask them for help when he got upset? Probably not.

Still, maybe the puzzle would help, after all, he rationalized, so he was willing to try.

Bulma smiled fondly as Goku took the box from her, sitting it down on the desk and spilling out the pieces.

The urges were still there of course, but somehow, he was able to force himself to redirect his focus to what was in front of him for now, slipping it into his obi.

He told himself he would save the glass shard for later.

…

Over the next four hours, Bulma occasionally had to go back to check on Bulla to feed her and make sure her fever had went down, before eventually taking Goku with her to the cafeteria to eat. Goku told her he wasn't hungry, so she didn't press it. Vegeta hadn't mentioned the stuff about Goku's disordered eating to her, most likely because he had been too exhausted to think of it.

…

That night, Goku was about half way done when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, working on a puzzle, are you?"

Goku looked over to see that Vegeta was standing beside him, gazing over his shoulder with some interest. He had the smell of shampoo coming from him. Clearly he had just taken a shower, but the odor was nice.

"Yeah, Bulma gave it to me." Goku said, as Vegeta watched him fill in the spaces.

At some point, Vegeta picked up a puzzle piece, placing it into the correct spot. Goku originally seemed a bit upset because he wanted to solve the puzzle by himself, but he let it slide. "Here, try piecing the edges together first. It's a trick I learned some years ago. It should help you."

"You think? I guess I can try." Goku, with Vegeta's assistance, started searching around in the pile for all the remaining edge pieces he could find, slowly filling them in one after the other.

"Woah, you were right, Vegeta. This is a lot easier." Goku noted.

"See? I told you." Vegeta smirked.

The two then slowly solved it together, Bulma even joining in a few times here and there.

Once they were finished, Goku put the puzzle back into the box, thanking Bulma for letting him use it.

"Alright, now that that's taken care of, I think it's time you go and take a bath." Vegeta said.

"Okay…" Goku grinned as he was led out of the room by Vegeta. "Bye, Bulma."

Bulma held up a hand as they left, but she was primarily distracted.

"Have you had dinner yet?" Vegeta asked, looking up at Goku.

"No, not really, I wasn't hungry at the time." Goku said.

"I see… I haven't eaten since earlier so we'll probably have to go down to the kitchen later…" Vegeta replied.

Goku highly doubted he could stomach anything at all right now, but didn't mention it.

…

Vegeta then had Goku pick out some clothes that he could change into after bathing.

Neither one of them were particularly looking forward to this so they didn't say much. Goku was afraid for obvious reasons and Vegeta couldn't help but feel queasy about this. Even if he knew that it was the only way. Even if he fully understood it.

"You do… remember what I told you before, right…?" He lightly brushed a hand against Goku's arm as he entered. Even bringing it back up caused a pit to form in his stomach, apprehension and discomfort obvious in his tone. "I'm… coming in with you…"

"I know…" Goku knew he had no place arguing or complaining about this.

Despite that, when he actually went to undress, he had to stop almost immediately. But it wasn't because he was embarrassed, it was because only then did he remember the glass shard he had picked up and put into his obi earlier. How was he supposed to hide it? Vegeta would want to wash his clothes after this, and bringing the shard into the bathtub with him was out of the question because Vegeta would see that too. So basically he would see it either way.

"Hey, uh, can we uh… maybe do this later?" Goku asked.

"No we may not… You know how long clothes take to wash and dry. Besides, I'm not getting into bed with you smelling like Bulma's lab." Vegeta hadn't intended that as an insult towards Bulma, of course, but her laboratory had a distinct odor to it that came from the usage of chemicals, and different kinds of metals. It was practically unavoidable.

The fact was he didn't want to be reminded of his ex wife while he was kissing Goku, such a scent would make that impossible.

"Yeah, but…" Goku trailed off.

"But what…?" Vegeta briefly glanced away. "I'm not going to get any weird ideas from seeing you naked if that's what you're worried about."

"That's… not…" Goku was unable to explain himself.

That's when Vegeta noticed the way he was clutching at his obi.

"Hold on, are you hiding something…?" He recognized that face.

"No…" Goku denied.

"Liar." Vegeta said, slightly hurt. "Come on, show me. I promise I won't yell at you this time..."

"You won't…?" Goku asked, with some distrust.

"No… I won't..." Vegeta approached him.

After a long moment, Goku finally reached into his obi and held out the shard, allowing his head to bow in shame.

When Vegeta saw the glass shard, his eyebrows contorted slightly but he couldn't allow his emotions to show too much. He grabbed it. "Where did you find this?"

"It was under one of Bulma's machines." Goku said. "She didn't know."

"What the hell was that woman doing?" Could have been a thought he might have had, but it was quickly gone, because he knew fully well that Bulma was a busy woman. She couldn't keep her eye on him every single second. Still, at the very least she did need to keep her lab cleaner so there wouldn't be a chance of broken glass laying around so freely But that was a topic for tomorrow.

"...I see... I'll throw this away later." Vegeta placed a hand on his shoulder as a means of reassurance. "We can discuss all of this with her some other time. For now, I just want you to focus on taking a shower."

"Okay…" Goku said.

Despite Vegeta dropping it, this brought his mind back to his other concern as he played around with his obi.

Just knowing they were in a relationship now caused him to feel an extra sense of vulnerability at the thought of being naked in front of him again.

Vegeta was somebody who he was supposed to be intimate with, somebody he was supposed to be able to trust. Vegeta had even said he wouldn't do anything weird to him. But trust could be taken away in a single instant.

Still, he had to undress, he knew this. He had no other choice. Saying he didn't want to bathe again wouldn't fly.

Feeling Vegeta's gaze on him, he swallowed, finally undoing his obi and slowly working his clothes off. Once he had stripped, he had never felt more exposed in his life than he did in that moment.

Vegeta had seated himself on the stool next to the bathtub, crossing his arms and legs. He tried to keep his gaze from wandering, but it was almost impossible when he saw the marks on Goku's legs. They were everywhere.

His beautiful body, covered in scars. And so many of them…

Why? He doesn't deserve this.

After a few minutes of preparing the water, Goku stepped inside. He first started off by scrubbing his legs after that, but with the silence in the room, the negative thoughts started to take hold of him all over again. Because he had held back earlier, the urges were twice as strong now. Even questions about what medication would do to him. Questions if he was eventually going to have to see that man again. And other things ran through his head. Vegeta had taken away his shard, so he was left to use the only thing he had at his disposal. The rag.

He repeated the same process over and over, harshly rubbing it into his skin until it had become red.

At some point, Vegeta started to realize what he was doing.

He was trying to create a burn mark, just like he had done on the evening of the assault and dozens of other times as well.

"Kakarot, hey… Let's not do that." Vegeta rushed over to his side and grabbed his hand to stop him, knowing that if he didn't, it was guaranteed to escalate. Tightening his grip on both his hand and on the rag, he slowly worked his other arm around Goku's neck, leaning against him in an embrace. He couldn't care less that he was wet or naked. "...Do you need to talk…?"

Goku was tense at the contact at first, mainly because of the fact that his body was exposed, but he soon sniffled, shaking his head.

"Then do you want me to keep holding you…? I thought it might help ground you." Vegeta didn't want to risk making him uncomfortable.

After a long moment of hesitation, Goku nodded.

Vegeta's eyes softened at seeing that. "Alright, just let me know when you need me to stop."

Goku closed his eyes, trying his best to focus on Vegeta's warmth to distract himself from the storm inside his head. It's just Vegeta, he told himself, the person he loved and trusted. Not that man.

This was okay.

Slowly, he found himself relaxing as he focused on one thing only. His partner. The sound of Vegeta's breathing. His warmth. His heart beat. His scent. How safe and secure he felt in his arms.

No longer was he worried about anything else. Vegeta's embrace often seemed to have that effect on him.

"I think I'm… feeling better now…" Goku finally said. "Thanks… For stopping me…"

Vegeta pulled back. "Don't mention it…"

Some part of Goku almost wanted to ask him to hug him longer but he couldn't say that, he didn't want to make things any more awkward between them than they already were.

"Hey…" Vegeta started working the rag out of Goku's grip. "Do you… mind if I wash your back…?"

Even though suggesting such a thing had Vegeta's face burning up out of embarrassment and his voice was weak, he still didn't feel too comfortable with leaving Goku with the rag just yet.

Goku was a bit startled at first by the suggestion, but didn't say too much, offering a low response. "Alright…"

Upon receiving a confirmation, Vegeta moved in closer and grabbed a bottle of body wash, squeezing it out onto the cloth.

He mixed it into the fabric and began scrubbing Goku's back.

Goku was suddenly a bit tense, but this wasn't the first time Vegeta had washed him, so he wanted to trust him.

Everything went smoothly until the other man accidently brushed the rag across his tail scar.

Goku hissed at the contact, reflexively gripping at Vegeta's shoulder in response. His face was red, as if he had had some sort of visceral reaction to it.

Goku had never looked more vulnerable. It was something Vegeta couldn't possibly bring himself to tread on.

"I'm sorry." He apologized instantaneously. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I don't get why it's so sensitive all of a sudden… It was like this yesterday too… When that guy touched me…" Naturally, there was a slight difference in how he felt about it this time, solely because it was Vegeta who had touched it, but he still found it inconvenient.

"Saiyan tails can be strange like that, even after being cut off. Still, it's… probably nothing… So try not to worry about it too much. I'm going to wash your hair now, alright?" Vegeta softly kissed him behind his ear.

"'kay…" The gesture caused Goku's heart to leap.

Upon receiving permission, Vegeta then squirted some shampoo into his hands, mixed it with some water and began lathering it into Goku's hair, allowing the strands to become slick.

Goku closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations of Vegeta's fingertips gliding across his scalp. He quickly found himself lost in the pleasure.

Vegeta blushed a bit when he saw the tranquil expression on Goku's face. He looked like he was about to fall asleep. Obviously he was doing something right for him to be so relaxed.

He briefly ran his hands under the water and grabbed another rag. "I need you to tilt your head back."

Goku did as asked, allowing Vegeta to place the rag over his eyes. Vegeta then filled up a cup under the faucet, slowly pouring the water over Goku's head.

He repeated the process multiple times, the warm liquid trickling down to Goku's neck and rinsing his scalp until Vegeta was certain all the strands were soaked and thoroughly free of suds.

After that, Vegeta reached for a towel and proceeded to dry Goku's hair with it.

"There, that should be clean now. I'll let you take care of the rest." Vegeta said.

"Thanks." Goku mumbled shyly.

"Yeah, whatever..." Vegeta briefly placed a hand on his head before moving back to the same spot as before.

Goku finished the rest of his bath rather quickly after that, making sure to give his legs and the other parts of his body a good scrub - but not too hard, before taking a moment to rinse off under the shower and unplugged the drain.

Vegeta handed him the same towel from before, awkwardly glancing away. "Here. Dry yourself off."

Goku did so, ruffling his hair with it in the process as be stepped out.

"You're getting water all over the floor. At least stand on the bath mat." Vegeta scolded him.

"Oops. Sorry." Goku laughed nervously.

"Idiot…" Vegeta watched as Goku began to pick up the clothes. He then folded the towel over the shower curtain rod.

In the meantime, Goku finished up and pulled on his pajamas. He had to use another pair of arm bands because he didn't want the chance of anybody else seeing his scars.

"Alright, I'm done." He followed Vegeta out of the bathroom with his gi in hand.

"Good. Come with me, we're bringing your gi to the laundry room and then we're going to eat." Vegeta said.

Yes, Goku still chose to wear a gi. Even if he wasn't fighting currently, it was something important to him. No other outfit could compare.

Goku followed after him and did as instructed. Vegeta watched as Goku put his clothes into the washer. He then dumped in some detergent and set up the washing machine, noticing Goku couldn't figure it out.

Once they were done, the two headed to the dining hall. Vegeta had them fix him up with a plate containing the same thing Bulma had had earlier. Goku declined what they had offered. Again.

Some of the staff members were staring at them. Vegeta noticed it but sent them a death glare in return, causing them to look away. Goku, on the other hand, was another matter. He liked to pretend such things didn't bother him, but it did. And the worst thing was he recognized that look, it was the same way some of the people at the festival had looked at him. After the incident with that guy.

Did they know? Or was this about something different? Something he wasn't aware of?

He didn't know what he had done to upset them so much, but whatever it was must have been bad. It made him feel insecure and reminded him all over again of the things he wanted to forget.

"Here, I had them make you some vegetable soup. Do you think you could handle this?" Vegeta held out a styrofoam soup bowl with a plastic spoon. In his other hand he had his own tray of food.

Goku's response was too low for him to make out, but he took the bowl anyway.

"I think we have some protein shakes in the other kitchen. Let's go there." Vegeta pressed a hand against his back to urge him to come with him.

The staff members had to look away from Goku at that point, they were too afraid of Vegeta to cause any trouble with him around.

After making their way to the private kitchen, Vegeta led Goku to the fridge, pointing out the protein shakes. "I want you to pick out one of these. We have chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla… Which one sounds best to you?"

Goku didn't respond.

"Kakarot." Vegeta spoke back up.

"Oh, uh…" Goku paused for a moment. "I like strawberry…"

"Strawberry, it is. Here." Vegeta handed one to him, before grabbing himself a can of coffee and closing the door.

Goku followed Vegeta to one of the tables, but he wouldn't touch his food, even after Vegeta had started eating his own.

Vegeta finished his off fairly quickly, throwing it away after he was done. He still hadn't finished his coffee, but was more focused on Goku.

"What's the matter?" He observed. "You're being quiet again."

"I-It's nothing. Don't worry about it. I'm just feeling a little tired is all." Goku lied with an awkward laugh.

In the end, Vegeta didn't push it. "You haven't touched your soup…"

"I'm not hungry…" Came the usual response. But his body was trembling, so he definitely was hungry.

"...You know you've got to get something on your stomach or you'll just collapse again…" Vegeta took the bowl from him, opening the lid and setting it aside. He then scooped up some of the soup with the spoon, and held it up to Goku's mouth. Goku vehemently turned his head away, avoiding it with a wimper.

"Come on, Kakarot… Do it for me…?" Vegeta urged painfully, moving it towards him again.

Fortunately, Goku obeyed this time, taking it into his mouth. For some reason or another, it seemed like the "for me" often did the trick.

Slowly, he chewed the bits up and swallowed, before accepting another spoonful. And another.

"That's it. You're doing good." Vegeta praised him, smiling softly.

With hesitation, Goku ate about half of the bowl, finally looking down and deciding he had had enough.

"Think you can drink some of your shake now…?" Vegeta picked up the bottle and shook it up, opening it up for him. Not because Goku couldn't, but because he wouldn't.

After a moment, Goku accepted it from him and began drinking it, slowly.

In the meantime, Vegeta took several more sips of his coffee.

Goku watched, curiously. "How do you even drink that stuff…?"

"What, you mean coffee?" Vegeta shrugged. "It's fine to me. The caffeine helps keep me awake."

"I tried it a long time ago, but I thought it tasted bitter." Goku mumbled.

"Most likely what you had was black coffee, not all of it's like that." Vegeta said.

"You mean there are different types of coffee?" Goku asked.

"Well, it mainly just depends on how it's made." Vegeta explained. "If you flavor it with creamer, it can actually be quite sweet. By itself, it's more of an acquired taste."

"Huh…" Goku wasn't sure how to respond.

After a while, Goku handed the bottle to him. "Alright, I'm done."

"Oh, you drank all of it. That's good." Vegeta tossed it into the trash can that was behind him, before closing Goku's soup bowl. "We'll save the rest of your soup for tomorrow, that way you can warm it back up and eat it then. Does that sound alright with you?"

Goku gave a small nod.

"I'll go put it in the fridge." Vegeta got up, leaving Goku to himself. He returned a moment later, finishing off his coffee before throwing it away. "Come with me. We need to move your clothes over to the dryer."

Wordlessly, Goku got up and followed him.

…

After finishing, Goku and Vegeta found themselves walking down the hall to hear the sound of a TV blasting. It was coming from one of their living rooms. As it turned out, Trunks was playing a video game.

"Don't you have school tomorrow?" Vegeta asked, upon coming into the room.

"Yeah, but I need to finish this level first." Trunks said.

"What are you even playing?" Vegeta wanted to know.

"It's Spyro 3." Trunks answered, slightly distracted as his father approached him. "I've been stuck on Mushroom Speedway for the past hour now. I already completed the Time Attack part but they want me to race the butterflies as well so I can get an egg, but I can't get above second place."

"Here. Let me try." Vegeta offered.

"Uh sure, okay." Trunks was a bit surprised, but handed him the controller.

Vegeta sat down next to him, letting him give him a basic rundown of the rules.

Unsurprisingly, of course, he ended up failing almost immediately. He got to the third ring before being knocked off course when he went through the star.

And it happened multiple times.

"Geez, you really suck at this, Dad." Trunks mocked.

Okay, that one struck a nerve. Yesterday, he had been mocking Goku for not being able to do a candy cutting game, but now his son was lecturing him for not being able to get a stupid flying dragon through a ring course?

"Shut up. I'll get it eventually. I just need some practice." He growled, blushing when Goku snickered at his pleight.

For a long time, nobody said anything. Vegeta was primarily distracted because he kept losing. He was becoming frustrated quickly and it was obvious.

"Little shit, think you'll get in front of me, will you? Well, I'll show you!" Vegeta growled at the screen. He intended to flame the butterfly but he accidentally pressed the wrong button, which led to him sinking. "Damn it, how the hell do these people actually expect you to beat this? This is ridiculous!"

"Well, uh, I'm gonna go to bed now… Goodnight, dad." Trunks got up, nervously, knowing fully well that when his dad got angry over a video game, there was no pulling him away from it until he succeeded. He just hoped he didn't get it in his mind to break or blow up the PlayStation instead.

Vegeta uttered something along the lines of a go ahead, but still wasn't all there.

After Trunks left, Goku moved over closer, laying his head on Vegeta's lap, using it as a pillow.

Vegeta adjusted his arms somewhat but otherwise didn't mind.

Slowly, he was finally starting to get a hang of the controls. He was actually in third place now unlike the other times that he had failed in 5th or 4th place.

"I love you." Goku knew those words came out of his mouth a lot, but he couldn't help it. He really liked saying that to him.

"Yeah, I love you too." Vegeta was too preoccupied by rounding a corner to headed towards a star to truly focus on what he had just said.

Goku felt a fuzzy warmth enter his chest as he wrapped his arms around him and hugged closer.

It took a while, but Vegeta finally ended up in first place.

The options showed up once more with retry or quit.

He wasn't sure if he was supposed to press quit, but didn't some of these games have an autosave function?

When he pressed quit, it showed a depiction of a dragonfly named Sparx talking to Spyro.

"Wow, you've won first prize!"

An egg appeared on the screen with the name John and cracked, a baby dragon popping out of it.

Trunks mentioned something about an egg. Was this it? Probably… I'll just leave it as it is.

Once the egg and baby Dragon were gone, Vegeta decided to switch out of the game to another one.

"Hey, Kakarot, let's play this game." He said. "Here take a controller."

"The racing one?" Goku sat up, accepting the one Vegeta handed to him. "Last I checked, you were terrible at games like that. Besides, you barely got through the Spyro one just now."

"Heh, just you wait, Kakarot. I've practiced this one since we last played."

…

Vegeta had, in fact, practiced.

But what good was that when he still continued to let his emotions dictate his actions in the game?

He was more focused on pushing Goku off the road instead of actually completing the course and driving properly. But what was especially worth noting was his speed.

"I refuse to let you beat me at this!" Vegeta shouted, crashing into Goku. "Hahaha!"

And sure, he actually did manage to get ahead. Except, right after, he found himself unable to stop himself from running into a giant boulder.

Goku didn't even hesitate to call him out for it.

"Vegeta, I told you before you need to slow down on your turns!" Goku scolded. "That's why you keep crashing."

"Dammit!" Vegeta cursed, holding his controller in a death grip.

He had already lost too much time to catch up which was why Goku ended up winning yet again.

Vegeta barely held back his frustration as Goku crossed the finish line, victorious once again. He had practiced this game time and time again, and yet he still couldn't seem to beat Kakarot at it. It was humiliating.

"Hey, I'm kinda getting bored of this. Can we play something else or watch some TV or something?" Goku asked, a bit awkward.

"Fine…" Vegeta begrudgingly caved, putting their controllers on the charging docks. He picked up the remote, randomly started flipping through the channels until he came across some sitcom, which he decided to leave it at.

Goku soon laid back down, once again resting his head on Vegeta's legs.

Vegeta absentmindedly played with Goku's hair and watched with fondness as the other Saiyan slowly dozed off. At some point, he got up, carrying Goku back to the bedroom after retrieving his clothes from the laundry room(Yes, somehow he managed both, just barely.) He then laid the other man down and covered him with blankets, soon joining him in bed.

After that, he just laid there, keeping Goku in his arms. Much to his relief, this night ended up being one of those rare nights that Goku didn't wake up crying from a nightmare.

…

The following week went about the same.

During the day, Goku would stay with Bulma in her lab and, at night and in the mornings, Vegeta would watch over him and even bathe him sometimes.

Goku had been nervous at first about the change, but slowly he got used to the routine.

Vegeta never touched him strangely or did anything that made him uncomfortable. Even when bathing him, he was gentle about it and respected his boundaries as much as he possibly could. Goku liked that.

Vegeta had had a talk with Bulma about the glass shard Goku had found, after which she began to make an extra effort to verify that there weren't any sharp objects freely lying around the house or in her lab.

…

Vegeta and Bulma had both been actively encouraging Goku to explore various different coping mechanisms.

Some worked, some didn't.

Such as writing on himself with a red marker, which actually seemed to make the temptation to see real blood worse.

He did sometimes like slapping his wrist with a rubber band, which helped curb the urges to a certain level.

Occasionally, he'd do more puzzles or draw some, anything to keep himself occupied.

Not that he felt it could really benefit him since he still couldn't do the things he actually enjoyed right now due to the overwhelming fear of the memories that seemed to consume him every time he fought.

Vegeta had started carrying cups of ice with him into the bathroom in case Goku had a panic attack.

Sometimes, Bulma would have him take a walk with her outside. She knew he needed the extra support and her father, now also having some idea of the situation, took over to fill in in her absence when he got upset, or even watching over Goku himself when he or Bulma needed to use the bathroom.

It was a lot but, together, they managed.

Goku's aversion to food, however, was a different matter entirely.

There were nights that Goku would forcefully throw up everything he had eaten, with Vegeta helpless to watch and listen to. Other times, he wouldn't eat anything at all. Although it was subtle, he could tell just by lifting him at times that Goku was starting to loose weight.

Vegeta knew he was being selfish, but he couldn't stand watching him wither away like this. At the same time, he didn't want to come off as if he were forcing him to do anything, because he did understand the logic of what Whis had said, that Goku's self-harm - and indirectly his disordered eating as well - were his way of gaining control when he felt like everything else was out of control.

After all, the food wasn't just making him sick. He was actually afraid of it, a physiological manifestation of his trauma. That's why his appetite fluctuated. That's why, sometimes, he could eat with no problem, like at the festival, while, other times, he'd either starve himself, eat just enough to survive, or purge the things he did eat.

And some part of Vegeta understood it, from the vague bits of what Goku himself had said. He had had a man's dick shoved down his throat against his will to the point he had thrown up multiple times. He wanted control over what went into his mouth, control he hadn't had over his own body when it was aroused by that man fingering him. He was hurting, so badly so that he'd hurt himself even more just to get the false sense that the mental pain he was feeling was out matched by the physical one. That he was winning the battle, because he was the one who decided what caused him pain.

Vegeta tried to ask Bulma for advice, but all she could really do was point him to different treatment facilities and tell him that it would be up to a therapist to discuss those things with him.

However, she did get the chefs in the cafeteria to continue making a variety of different types of soup and protein shakes for Goku, so he wasn't consuming the same thing constantly. Even though it wasn't a lot, it was a better alternative to him starving entirely. It helped.

All anybody could really do was just work with him to the best of their abilities, because it was up to Goku himself to make that decision.

…

On the 16th, Goku was greeted by two women and Fran.

As it turned out the other two other women were his prosecutor and her assistant, who introduced themselves as Sarla and Harl. They tried their best to familiarize themselves with him by asking a bit into his personal life, his living situation, his family, and even how he had been doing since the assault.

They asked about his hobbies and seemed especially interested in hearing that he was a martial artist, telling him they'd have to watch one of his sparring matches with Vegeta some time, if he decided he'd like to go back to it at some point, but he wasn't sure if they were actually being serious or not.

"We want you to know that he is in jail." Sarla eventually said.

"So he's been arrested, then?" Vegeta asked.

"Yes, he was arrested a month ago." Sarla gave a confirmation.

Vegeta felt a wave of relief pass over him upon hearing that.

"Actually… Do any of you recognize this woman?" Sarla pulled up a picture on her phone of a younger lady who appeared to be unconscious in a bed, showing it to them.

"No, I don't think so. Who is that?" Goku asked.

"That's what we've been trying to figure out. We think it's highly likely she's another one of his victims…" Sarla explained.

There were bits of the conversation Goku tuned out after that upon realizing that his rapist had likely targeted others as well. His mind went blank until Bulma spoke up.

"And what about the trial?" She asked. "Is there going to be one, or do you know yet?"

"As things stand, we're hoping he'll go with a plea deal so we can avoid that route. But we're not sure yet. He could still refuse."

"Trial…? So I… might have to see him again, after all?" Goku couldn't bring himself to feel any sort of comfort knowing this. Multiple questions were already running through his head.

Vegeta looked over at him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Much to his dismay, Goku pulled away from him. He heard the prosecutor say something, but he ignored her, getting up and pacing around a bit.

Sarla and Harl decided to leave after that, not wanting to overwhelm him any further. It was clear he wasn't handling this well.

Some part of Goku had already figured this was coming, but hearing it said out loud brought back all the fears he had been trying to push to the back of his mind for months.

I don't want to see his face again.

Goku bit his hand, trying to ease his nerves. But it wasn't enough, so he started rubbing at his arm instead.

"Kakarot." Vegeta moved towards him once more, but this time with caution, not wanting to scare him.

"I don't want to see his face again." Goku spoke his previous thoughts out loud.

"I know…" Vegeta murmured.

"There's still so many gaps in my memories… What if I screw up and forget something? They'll will probably try to say that I consented…" Goku rubbed at his arm, desperately.

"Kakarot-" Vegeta repeated his name.

"What if he tries to start something with me? Or says something? Maybe my memory isn't good enough…? Or the videos… All of this could end up being for nothing. What am I even doing…?" Without even realizing it, Goku had already started tearing into his skin. Before this, he'd told himself he'd stop but it seemed like every time his feelings got to be too much, he ended up relapsing all over again.

"Kakarot-Babe, you've got to calm down. You're overwhelming yourself. Why don't we focus on one thing at a time?" Vegeta was too concerned and focused on Goku's mental state to really think about the fact that he had used a pet name towards him in front of Bulma. At the same time it came out sounding surprisingly natural so it was barely worth mentioning. "Is it okay if I hold your hand?"

"No…" Goku's voice cracked, as blood had started forming on his nails.

His tone felt like a knife to Vegeta, but he knew it wasn't personal. And yet…

"I understand that you don't want to be touched right now, but we can't let you hurt yourself…" He said. "So what do you want to do…? Do you want one of your fidgets? A marker? Ice? What…?"

"We could even take a walk or do a puzzle…" Bulma quipped. "Or you could draw again."

"Ice is fine…" Goku mumbled, popping a rubber band that he had against his wrist.

"I have a cup of ice on my desk, I'll go get it for you..." Bulma ran off for a moment only to return with a white styrofoam cup of ice.

She and Vegeta watched as Goku took out a few pieces and squeezed them between his hands.

"Feeling any better?" Bulma asked, after a bit.

"Yeah, I guess…" Goku looked down a bit, still seeming somewhat troubled. "...Mn… Actually, Vegeta…? I need to go pee…"

A small blush rest on his face as he said that.

Vegeta's eyes widened a bit, but found it slightly amusing. "Alright, come on…"

…

When Goku was done, Vegeta led him back to his room to give him some time to cool down a bit.

"I'm sure this is hard for you," He eventually spoke. "But if you need to talk about anything, I'm here."

"...I just… I don't want to see his face again..." Goku had said that earlier as well, yet Vegeta understood his need to repeat it.

"I'll come with you." Vegeta offered. "That way if he tries anything, I'll be sure to knock his teeth in."

Goku laughed a bit. "I'm pretty sure you'd get in trouble if you did that. It's like.. contempt of court or something."

"I don't care about that. I'd gladly get arrested just to have the satisfaction of beating the shit out of the bastard who did that to you..." Vegeta mumbled, before smirking. "Hmph, not that they'd have anything on me, of course. I'd easily break out."

Goku's smile soon faded. "I can't… help but be nervous about this. I mean… What if I screw up and forget stuff? Even now there are still many things I can't remember. I can't stand this…"

"You'll do fine. I'm sure of it… Just try to remain calm and tell them what you do know. Nobody's expecting you to remember everything." Vegeta took Goku's hand into his own in hopes that it would ground him.

Goku relaxed somewhat after that, even though he was clearly still anxious. "...If I were different, then none of this would have happened in the first place… I keep… messing up and…"

"Shh, hey, don't say that…," Vegeta lightly scolded. "This sort of thing could have happened to anybody. It's happened to me too, remember…? You're not alone…"

"He implied… that he had been with somebody else before… some girl… who he said… loved sex, but… she couldn't… orgasm." Goku said in a low voice. "I thought… considering what happened to me, it might have been the same situation, but… Maybe I did and I just… don't remember it…"

"Kakarot, I… look... regardless of how your body reacted, it doesn't mean you enjoyed it…, or that you wanted it. When you're… in a situation like that… The body… It does what it wants to. That isn't always… something you can decide, or control… Do you get what I'm saying…?"

"...Vegeta…? When you were… raped… Did you…?" Goku's voice was weak. He didn't want to upset him.

"Orgasm…? Yes… I did…" Vegeta confirmed with a sense of vulnerability as he did so. "Multiple times, in fact… That's why… You shouldn't… blame yourself… because it isn't your fault."

Slowly, Vegeta traced his thumb across the scratch marks from earlier. The touch caused Goku to turn his head away, feeling exposed, as he knew the other Saiyan's gaze was locked onto the marks. Vegeta placed a kiss behind his ear. "Tell me, is there… anything I can do for you? To make this easier…?"

"...Can you… just hold me for a while?" Goku adjusted his position so he could bury his hand against Vegeta's chest.

"Yeah, of course…" Vegeta rested a hand on his back, rubbing it softly.

"I feel like you deserve somebody better than me…" Goku mumbled, causing Vegeta to pause for a moment. "Somebody who can-"

"Kakarot, no, look at me… Look into my eyes." Vegeta moved around and gently cupped his cheeks, lifting his face with a loving yet stern expression. "From the very moment I agreed to be with you, I agreed to take on all of you. That includes all of this as well. Because I didn't just want you as a warrior, I wanted you as a person."

"Still…" Goku swallowed. "Don't you… want somebody who could actually function like a normal person? Somebody… who doesn't have all these issues that I do? Maybe… one who could even have sex with you?"

"No, I don't care if you're not normal. All I want right now is for you to ignore those blasted voices in your head already…" Vegeta objected. "The only one you should be listening to right now is mine, and what has my voice told you, huh...?"

"That I'm… perfect to you… Every part of me is." Goku's voice cracked.

"That's right… and nothing is going to change that, you hear me…?" Vegeta affirmed, gazing down a bit. "Look, I'm not always… good at expressing how I feel about some things, but… You do… have a place with me… You know that, right…?"

Goku was speechless at first, but after a moment he gave a small nod.

"Yeah…" He uttered, barely above a whisper as he laid against his chest once more. "Thanks… Vegeta... I wish I could pay you back somehow..."

Vegeta smiled, closed his eyes. "You don't need to owe me anything..."

"...Hey… Vegeta…?" Goku's tone was uneven, as he spoke up again after a while.

"What is it…?" Vegeta inquired.

"Can you… sing to me…? The song that you sang before…" Goku sounded nervous. He didn't know if Vegeta would agree to it, yet it had been so beautiful. Just one more time, he wanted to hear it again.

Vegeta was speechless for a moment. It was the last thing he had expected him to say. He wasn't sure how to even respond.

"Please? For me? Just one song, I won't ask for anything else…" Goku added, looking at him with gentle eyes.

"...You really want me to that much…?" Vegeta asked, an uneasy feeling in his chest.

Goku nodded.

"...Okay… But only for you…" Vegeta said.

After a long moment, he sang again.

Goku closed his eyes, visibly relaxing at hearing the familiar melody once more. It almost sounded sad in a way, and lonely. Even so, Goku tried not to think too hard about it, entranced by the sweet sound of his lover's voice.

When Vegeta was done, he kissed Goku once more, sheepishly meeting his gaze. There was a tinge of self-doubt in his expression. "How was that…?"

"Mn… I really like it when you sing…" Goku said. "It calms me down…"

"It does…?" Vegeta found that hard to believe.

"Yeah. A whole lot, actually…" Goku admitted.

"I see…" Vegeta replied shyly. "Then… In that case… I guess I wouldn't mind… doing it more often… if you really need me to…"

…

Goku had always hated doctor's offices almost as much as he hated hospitals. So when he stood before the clinic on the 17th, he was less than thrilled at first. That was until Bulma led him and Vegeta inside the building. The lobby was comfortable, with plush couches and a large television screen in the corner of the wall that showed a nature documentary in progress.

The office environment was quiet and there were no strange smells or noises.

Slowly, he started to feel a bit less nervous.

"I want you two to stay here, I'll be back in a moment." Bulma told Goku and Vegeta, before she walked over to the receptionist, who was sitting at her desk behind a window.

Goku sat down a few chairs over from an elderly lady who was watching the TV. Vegeta sat down next to him. Neither one of them had said much to each other for a while now and they couldn't bring themselves to start. About fifteen minutes later, Bulma came back over.

"Okay, everything's done on my end. I'm going to be covering the cost of Goku's appointments since he doesn't have any kind of insurance. Would you mind filling this out for him?" She handed Vegeta a clipboard with some papers and a pen.

"Yeah, sure." He took them. Everybody knew Goku didn't like messing with paperwork if he could help it and some of the things on it he probably wouldn't be able to understand anyways.

"...Anyways, do you want me to leave you here or should I just wait?" Bulma asked. She was well aware that Goku and Vegeta could fly and Goku had his instant transmission, but she decided to offer anyway.

Vegeta waved a hand slightly. "Go on. We'll be fine, I actually know this area."

"Alright then, I'll see you later." Bulma replied. "Good luck in there, Goku."

Goku averted his gaze slightly. "Thanks, Bulma."

Bulma smiled sweetly at him before making her leave.

When she left, Vegeta began filling out the address and name information, before looking at the birthday. "You wouldn't happen to know your birthday by any chance, would you?"

"Not really…" Goku sounded guilty. "Sorry, is that bad?"

With the mix of being sent to earth as a small baby and his amnesia, it was no surprise that Goku didn't remember.

"No, it's fine. Hold on, I actually think I recall Raditz mentioning it once. What day was it again…? In Earth time, it was…" Vegeta thought for a moment. "April… 18th… Age 737. You're 42. How much do you weigh?"

The extra time spent in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber would overcomplicate things so he didn't even want to mess with that.

"136 pounds, last I checked…"

That all but confirmed Vegeta's suspicions. Goku was usually somewhere in the 150-160 pound range. Still, he didn't comment on it. "And you're 5 '9', right?"

"Five nine what?" Goku tilted his head, a bit confused.

"Your height." Vegeta clarified.

"Oh, uh… that's… Five feet and… nine inches, yeah." Goku took a moment to respond. "What's your height, Vegeta?"

"I'm… 5 '5'." Vegeta answered, somewhat hesitant.

"Yeah, that makes sense. I did notice you seemed kind of short." Goku grinned with a giggle. Not as short as Krillin, though.

"Hey! I am not short…!" Vegeta retorted defensively. There was a tinge of insecurity in his voice as he continued with a small blush. "Besides, even if I were, why does it matter how tall I am…? There are more important things than somebody's physical characteristics…"

"I know, but still… If I'm being honest, I actually think it's kind of cute." Goku smiled, noticing that he seemed to be sulking.

"Oh, so you just wanted to mess with me, is that it?" Vegeta's face turned even redder upon hearing that. He pointed a finger at him. "Well, just remember that in comparison to a lot of people in this universe, you're also short, Kakarot."

"Hehe, well I guess you got me there." Goku admitted, with a sheepish grin. "Piccolo is way taller than us."

Vegeta was quiet for a moment at realizing that Goku didn't seem to care much about his own height. Vegeta tried not to, but it did still bother him from time to time.

"Tch. Whatever." He averted his gaze to the forms once more. "Let's just get back to answering these questions, idiot..."

He then moved onto marital status, checking it off as divorced. "Do you have any drug allergies?"

"I don't… think so… Minus whatever that guy gave me." Goku said.

"Those aren't really allergies, though." Vegeta corrected him. "He doped you up on muscle relaxers and likely other stuff. I'll just put that as a no for now."

That's when the questionnaire started asking about previous medical history.

Asthma, Diabetes, Osteoarthritis, Rheumatoid Arthritis… What even are all these…? To be honest, I highly doubt he'd know either.

The next questions started asking about sex related stuff. Vegeta felt a pit rising in his chest, worried that they would be touchy.

"They want to know… Has there… been a decrease in your level of sexual desire or interest?" He had a feeling about what his answer would be but, he forced himself to ask anyways.

"...Maybe? I'm not really sure how to answer that." Goku struggled to find the right way to explain it. "Because of what happened, I'd say yes, but then again, my feelings on sex just… change a lot. They always have, even before all of this stuff."

"How so?" Vegeta asked, wanting to understand him better in case this topic came up at a later point as well.

"Well, it's like this… has there… ever been some kind of food that you might like okay sometimes but then not care it for at all other times? That's kind of like how sex is for me. I'd usually rather just train or… Sorry, using food as an example might have not been a way to explain it, uh..." Goku grew a bit flustered.

"It's fine, I understand… Heh, using food as an analogy is actually pretty creative." Vegeta reassured him. "I'm the same way, but for me it's more about the physical contact than sex itself. It just feels… suffocating to me sometimes."

"I think Chichi mentioned something about it a long time ago. She said my sex drive was… low somehow. She wasn't mad at me or anything, but… apparently it's not… normal? I don't know." Goku said, drumming his fingers against the chair between his legs.

"What, you mean your libido? Kakarot…, you know it's… okay… to not care about that stuff all the time, right…? That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you." Even though Vegeta did experience sexual attraction, his sex drive itself wasn't all that high either, at least not as high as Bulma's had been. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that they were Saiyans, he wasn't sure. But, in the end, it wasn't something he cared to think about much. It was what it was.

"Mn." Goku uttered in response, not saying anything further.

At first, Vegeta was uncertain how to proceed but he could tell this topic was upsetting to Goku, so he decided to avoid asking any more questions on that.

"In the past month, did you ever think that you would be better off dead or wish you were dead?"

That would be an obvious yes.

"Have you ever deliberately cut, burned, or injured yourself?"

Another yes.

"Hey, I didn't know you were left handed." Goku noted out of nowhere with some fascination.

"I thought you would have noticed it by now." Vegeta was a bit confused by his interest. Even Bulma had seemed somewhat intrigued at finding out. Was it really that uncommon?

"Yeah, well, I don't really see you writing often and I never paid much attention before." Goku admitted. "I'm right handed myself. But you probably already knew that."

"I did." Vegeta said, simply, holding up his left hand and creating a bit of a weak fist. "Most Saiyans… were actually ambidextrous, so I had to spend extra time training my right hand to make up for it. That way, I wouldn't be at a disadvantage when I was in combat."

There was a solemn expression on his face as he said that, like he was remembering something.

"What's ambi…de…?" Goku tested it. The word sounded so big to him.

"Ambidextrous." Vegeta repeated. "It means you can use both hands equally."

"Ohhh. That makes sense." Goku mused. "By the way, that reminds me. During some of our sparring matches, I've noticed you seem to hold your left arm a lot and it's always the same spot too. Did you… by chance ever get hurt there or something?"

"...Yeah, it was… Frieza. A long time ago, he… did something to it, and it never… completely healed after that." Vegeta explained with apprehension. Had it really been that obvious? Apparently so. "So when I'm in battle, the old injury occasionally acts up again."

"I see... That's… I'm sorry that happened to you..." Goku mumbled.

"Yeah, well, it's not important… I try not to focus on it." Truthfully, Vegeta did often wonder if fate was laughing at him with the number of times his left arm had been knocked out of commission by enemies, but his past with Frieza wasn't something he liked reflecting on, so he was quick to dismiss the subject. "In the past two weeks, have you been less interested in or less able to enjoy the things you used to enjoy most of the time?"

"Maybe? I… dunno how to answer that…" Goku almost wanted to ask Vegeta what exactly Frieza had done to him. However, upon hearing the question Vegeta had just read aloud, his focus was completely diverted and he became anxious.

"It's like… I still wanna fight and all, but… because of what happened… It…" Goku trailed off, unable to finish that sentence.

"I understand." Vegeta already knew what he was getting at and had no intentions of pressing it. "What about sleep? Any trouble falling asleep or staying asleep?"

From what he could tell he, did just fine sleeping, but that was still something Only Goku himself would truly be able to answer. He had only been truly observing his for sleep for about seventeen nights, that wasn't really enough to say a lot.

"Yeah, sometimes." Goku said. "It's usually when I wake up from the nightmares, I often have trouble getting back to sleep after that."

One by one, Vegeta had him answer each question to the best of his ability without pressuring him to talk about things he wasn't comfortable with, but neither one of them knew how to answer everything, so it was impossible to complete the form in its entirety, but it was better than nothing. "They need your signature. Here, do you mind signing this?"

"Okay." Goku took the pen, doing as asked. "Man, your handwriting is so neat compared to mine..."

"It's not anything that spectacular, is it…?" Vegeta scoffed.

"That's not true, I actually really like it." Goku said.

"...Thanks, I guess… Stay here, I'm going to bring this over to the woman behind that desk." Vegeta got up, heading over to the window and handing the woman the clipboard and pen.

She thanked him and told him it would be a bit.

Vegeta returned to his seat, sitting back down next to Goku.

For a long time, neither one of them said anything.

…

A man named Kali did Goku's intake.

Kali seemed fairly nice, but Goku felt like he was being patronized the whole time for some reason and didn't particularly like it, but he knew he needed to press through it for Vegeta.

"So can I ask what brings you in today?"

With the encouragement of knowing Vegeta was there with him, Goku finally answered. "...Well, a few months ago, I was… raped. I've been.. having a really hard time dealing with it…"

…

A lot of the questions Kali had for Goku were questions that Vegeta had already asked him to fill out the papers with, alongside many other things about his medical history that he had no knowledge about, as well as stuff about his family situation, his stressors, and some minor details about the rape.

It went on about an hour before Kali was finally done with most of his assessment.

"Aside from medication, what exactly do you hope to get out of these services?"

"Learning… how to process this, I guess… There's so many things I don't understand… about what happened… And things… I can't even remember. I'm afraid to talk about it…"

From that point on, Kali explained what the treatment options were, went through Goku's goal plans and other things before saying that he would have the receptionist schedule Goku an appointment to see a psychiatrist sometime in the next few weeks and that therapy could be talked about eventually as well if he needed it, although their current priorities were getting him on medication first.

Goku thanked him, leaving the room with Vegeta, who hadn't said much the whole time but had been listening. This had been Goku's appointment, after all.

The two headed to the lobby and walked back up to the desk.

"Do you have a preference for morning or afternoon?"

"Af-" Goku was about to speak but Vegeta cut him off.

"Morning, if possible." Vegeta said.

"There's a slot open on the 28th at 9:30am. Will that work?" The receptionist offered.

"That's fine." Vegeta affirmed.

The receptionist then wrote up an appointment card and handed it to him.

"I'll hold on to this." Vegeta glanced over at Goku and led him out the door. "Left up to you, we both know you'll just lose it."

Goku couldn't even deny it, he had lost their senzu beans before.

He followed him out the door, sticking to his side like glue. "Hey, Vegeta, are you going back home or…?"

"Let's walk around a bit." Vegeta urged him to follow.

"Okay." Goku replied as they walked along the sidewalk.

This area was right in the middle of town so there was a shopping center close by and a lot of other places. At some point, they came across a vending machine containing drinks that was at the end of a street corner. The machine had the option to use a card.

"Want a drink?" Vegeta offered.

"I guess I am sort of thirsty." Goku admitted.

"Pick one." Vegeta told him.

"That one is fine." Goku pointed out a red sports drink.

Vegeta pressed some buttons and it wasn't long before the sports drink and a can of coffee popped out.

He handed Goku his, opening his own.

"Thanks." When he started drinking his, he realized he was much thirstier than he originally thought he was. He ended up gulping down over half the bottle in one go.

"Hey…" Vegeta uttered, catching Goku's attention as he looked away. "You did… well in there."

"You think so? I'm still really nervous about this stuff." Goku admitted.

"That's understandable. Most people would be in your situation. All that matters is that you pressed through. I'm proud of you." Vegeta praised him, causing Goku's heart to flutter.

"You might not be saying that if they had tried to stick me with a needle." Goku murmured with a small smile.

"Maybe." Vegeta smirked as he drank his coffee. "But I still think you'd do fine. You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for."

Goku couldn't say it, but some part of him disagreed with that.

…

A little while later, Goku found himself skipping stones at a nearby riverbend.

Vegeta sat close next to him, observing in silence as the pebbles bounced across the surface of the water. Relaxing against Goku's shoulder, he himself occasionally threw some as well, but more so absentmindedly. "Hey… Once all of this is over, what do you think about finding a place to stay, with me…?"

"What, you mean like move? But why?" Goku was flabergasted by the suggestion. "You have everything at capsule corp."

"Well, it's not like… I'll be leaving entirely." Vegeta rationalized. "I just… I want a place that we can call ours. Just the two of us."

"Isn't that the sort of thing that couples are supposed to do after they get married? At least… that's what Chichi told me." Goku pondered it.

"Not always… or… It doesn't… have to be." The thought of marriage had been the furthest thing on his mind, yet now that Goku brought it up, he suddenly felt a bit awkward.

"Oh." Goku replied simply. If there was any disappointment from his end, Vegeta couldn't tell. "Well, I'm fine with whatever you wanna do, Vegeta."

"You mean you want to…?" Vegeta looked up at him with some hope.

"Yeah, sure. Why not? It seems to be important to you, so I'd be happy to.…" Goku grinned.

His response seemed so casual, but as long as Goku was okay with it, then that was all that mattered.

…

When it came time for Goku to meet his Psychiatrist, who was named Raymon, he found that the man was surprisingly nice. Due to the concerns Vegeta and especially Goku had, Raymon clarified from the start that his goal wasn't to dope Goku up on medication but to minimize the amount that he was to take.

He deduced that Goku's primary issues right now were the nightmares and panic attacks he was having and in the end, he decided to try him on something called Desyrel at 200mg alongside the suggestion of melatonin. Goku, of course, wasn't thrilled but didn't say much in front of the doctor.

Vegeta took care of the prescription, getting it filled at the pharmacy right after. He also bought a bottle of melatonin simply by suggestion.

…

Unfortunately, when it came to Vegeta trying to get him to take his medication that night, Goku adamantly refused at first.

"Kakarot, please… You need to take this." Vegeta had a cup of water and the pill in his hand. Goku had had no issue with taking the melatonin, probably because it was in gummy form and looked like candy to him, but the pill was another matter entirely.

Goku turned his face away. "No, I don't trust it..."

"Well, that seems a little soon to make such a decision, wouldn't you think? Now tell me, why don't you trust it…?" Vegeta humored him, sitting down next to him. "Hm?"

Goku's response, however, was one he couldn't have possibly accounted for.

"It… looks like something he gave me… I-I know it was a white pill, just like that one…" Goku rubbed his arm, desperate to calm down.

"I… wasn't aware…" Vegeta wasn't sure how to proceed on this one. "But still… Even… if it were, he had you on a bunch of other pills as well. This is only one, and the doctor told you this might get rid of your nightmares, so don't you at least want to give it a try…?"

"I'm afraid…" Goku said.

"There's nothing to be afraid of. This medication is only there to help you rest." Vegeta assured. Although was hard to say, because he did understand Goku's reason for hesitation.

"But it'll knock me out." Goku muttered. "And I won't be able to…"

"Listen to me..." Vegeta soothed. "I promise that I won't allow anything to happen to you… You just have to trust me. And trust the doctor. Everything is going to be okay, and if you don't like it, then we'll ask him to put you on something else."

After a long moment of thinking it through, Goku hesitantly took the pills and chased them down with some water.

"Good..." Vegeta placed the cup on the dresser, joining him under the covers. He relaxed an arm around him. "Just let me know if you start to feel strange, alright…?"

"Okay…" Goku said, hugging against him, but didn't say much else. About thirty minutes later, the medication finally kicked in and Goku started to become drowsy.

He yawned, his eyes half-lidded as he turned over onto his back, silently gazing off to the side.

Seeing Goku's neck in that moment, something stirred inside of Vegeta. He briefly traced some fingers over his skin and moved forward, kissing him not too far beneath his ear. He gently sucked at the skin, enough to leave a mark, but refused to do anything further than that.

When he pulled back, Goku gazed up at him, too tired to respond. He soon closed his eyes, dozing off.

He looked so serene.

And vulnerable.

To think that some sick bastard had taken advantage of Goku when he was like this, it was just… imperceivable.

At the same time, Vegeta knew from personal experience that there were people who were depraved enough to go to such lengths. This entire event had served as an all too harsh reminder of that.

Vegeta laid against his chest, focused solely on the sound of Goku's heartbeat, and making sure he was resting properly.

…

Several hours later, he felt Goku shifted under him.

He tried to get up, but almost tripped, barely awake.

"Kakarot, hey, be careful…" Vegeta jumped out of bed, in just enough time to catch him. "Where are you going?"

"I needa use the bathroom." Goku slurred.

"Then here. Let me help you. You're going to end up falling." Vegeta kept his grip around Goku's waist, holding the man's arm over his own shoulder to provide support.

With Vegeta's assistance, Goku made his way to the bathroom and did his business. They returned a few minutes later, Goku immediately laying back down on the bed without bothering to cover himself. Vegeta pulled down Goku's shirt so his stomach wasn't exposed anymore and spread the blankets over them once more. Goku was quick to fall back to sleep.

At some point, Vegeta found himself startled when the Saiyan suddenly crawled on top of him, most of his weight resting on his chest and stomach.

"Hey, what are you…?" Vegeta started to speak, but a moment later, he heard him snoring.

So that's it. He must have moved in his sleep.

He embraced the sleeping man with an fond expression, brushing some hair out of his face and trying to ignore the drool dripping from his mouth. He was actually quite used to this by now.

…

About a week later, Goku confessed that the medication they had given him had been causing him intense nausea and vertigo, so at Vegeta's suggestion, he had the psychiatrist change it to something called Ziprasidone, which Goku didn't respond well to at all.

The tremors were unbearable, which ended up leading to a minor 'dispute' between Vegeta and the psychiatrist, who wanted to put Goku on another medication to counteract the tremors instead of switching him off of it.

"Are you not hearing him? He just said he doesn't want more mediation." Vegeta had laid his foot down. "What he needs and wants is another one entirely that doesn't cause him him to shake like this in the first place! Besides, he's already made it perfectly clear that whatever you have him on right now isn't helping him feel any better."

The doctor, not wanting to go against or argue with him, then decided to try Goku on a medication called prazosin. This one caused him arrhythmia and blurred vision, so it too had to be stopped.

In the end, Raymon finally switched him to Catapres.

Goku almost refused to take it entirely this time because he was so tired of everything failing and causing him bad side effects. Vegeta just barely managed to convince him to go through with it.

As it turned out, it was also a blood pressure medication, so it did cause him occasional balance issues and dizziness, but as long as he didn't move around too much when under its influence, he was fine and seemed overall content in the long run. He still had nightmares from time to time, but it helped without some of the other side effects he had experienced.

The one issue with this was, for some reason or another, he kept waking up after getting about four hours of rest and not being able to get back to sleep. So after some working around it, Raymond had him split a higher dosage between two different pills, 0.2mg when he went to sleep and 0.2mg when he woke up and needed to get back to sleep. Because of this, he would often end up sleeping until early afternoon, but, much to Vegeta's relief, it seemed they finally had the nightmares managed for the most part.

…

Goku still wasn't talking about many things, but he had been trying to work on turning to his coping mechanisms more so than before, even relying on other outlets.

He had been clean for over three weeks now, which was the longest he had went without hurting himself in a while.

Quite frankly, Vegeta had never been prouder of him.

So he decided at this point that maybe it was about time to give Goku back some of his freedom.

…

"So I've been thinking about it, and I've decided…" Vegeta began one night, running his fingers through his hair. He seemed to do that a lot. He couldn't help it. Goku's hair was just so soft and fluffy. "I'm going to allow you to go wherever you want again. But, in exchange, you must promise me something."

"What is it?" Goku inquired.

"You will allow me to continue checking your body regularly for injuries and if you so much as get the urge to hurt yourself or even start to, then you're to come to one of us or call somebody immediately. Do you understand?"

"But what if I still relapse…?" Goku looked down, uncertain. "I'm afraid you'll get mad at me…"

"No, I won't..." Vegeta swore. "I just want you to communicate with me and not hide anything. Deal…?"

Goku was quiet for a long moment before nodding. "Okay."

Vegeta pulled him close, kissing his forehead. "Good. That's all I ask of you."

…

It wasn't all that surprising that word of Vegeta's relationship with Goku had spread.

Certain people didn't like it.

But despite that, nobody spoke of it around Bulma or Vegeta out of fear of incurring their wrath, yet Goku was a different matter entirely. He was seen as an easy target for harassment just because of how friendly he seemed.

"Is it true that you're dating Vegeta…?" It was some lady who first confronted him. He'd seen her around before, she always seemed to have some sort of chip on her shoulder, and many of her coworkers didn't particularly like her either.

"Yeah. Why?" Goku wasn't sure why it was their business, but he saw no reason to hide it.

"...Holy shit." She said. "So you are gay."

"I'm what now?" Goku looked confused.

"Gay. Homosexual. It means you like men, Goku. Don't tell me you really don't know what that word means." Even Goku could tell he was being mocked by her tone. "Hell, I'll bet that's the real reason your wife left you, isn't it? You were cheating on her with him. That would explain why he was always going off as well."

"Cheating?" Now Goku was irritated. "Of course not, I wouldn't do that! And nor would Vegeta."

"Oh, sure you wouldn't." She clearly didn't believe him. "A lot of gay men hide it from their wives."

"Okay, first off, I'm not gay. I like both men and women the same, or at least… on some level, I guess?" Goku honestly didn't know how one would label his feelings, and quite frankly he didn't care to. "But even if I were, why does any of that matter? What difference does it make whether I like men or women?"

He did know that not all guys liked men, sure, but from the way she was acting about it, it seemed like it was something horrible to her.

"What difference does it make?" The woman was clearly aghast at his admission. She stepped forward, jabbing a finger at Goku's chest. "It's unnatural."

"Unnatural how?" Goku's eyebrows furrowed.

"Because it's a sin against against God! Against nature." She sputtered, getting right in Goku's face. "Men and women were made for each other. The thing between your legs… Do you even know what that's for?"

"You mean my weiner?" Goku asked. "That's for going to the bathroom and having sex with with people."

"Not people, Goku. Women. Your penis was made to go into a woman's vagina. Didn't you have parents to teach you this?"

"I don't know… I don't really remember my parents. They died when I was just a baby and I was sent here…" Goku said in a low voice.

She paused for a moment before scoffing. "Well, that sure explains a lot."

"Look, buddy, the point is men are supposed to be with women." A man suddenly quipped. "Our bodies were designed to have sex with women so they can bare our children. A man can't do that with another man, and a woman can't do that with another woman. Because we weren't made to."

Goku was quiet as he heard his words. "What does being able to have kids have to do with anything?"

"Because we're supposed to go forth and multiply." The woman said. "You're both men, fully capable of putting seed into a woman, one who would bear your children, ones who already have. You can't do that with him."

"So? I don't really see what difference that makes. We could still always adopt if we wanted a child that badly. I mean my grandpa adopted me, and I turned out just fine…" Goku said.

"Oh my god, you really don't get it, do you…?" The woman sounded exasperated.

"No, I don't, because you're not making any sense." Goku retorted.

"Look, all you need to know is this. The life you're living is wrong. God hates homosexuality, and bisexuality or whatever you want to call it. It's an abomination."

"Gosh. You know… that sure doesn't sound like a very nice god." Goku muttered.

"What? How dare you?!" The woman was clearly outraged by his response. She leaned in, getting so close that she was breathing in Goku's face. "Don't you care about your own children? They shouldn't be exposed to that! It's not normal, it's disgusting."

"Hey, can you back off? You're getting too close." Goku was trying to stay as calm as possible but she was in his personal space. "We don't do that stuff around our kids. And, besides why would some god care if two guys like each other, anyway? We're not hurting anybody."

"Not hurting anybody? Of course you would think that. You've been brainwashed by society to think that sodomy is normal, you queer!" She spat with venom, slamming a hand into his chest.

"Hey!" Goku backed up, not wanting to be in the middle of a conflict like this.

"Queer!" She repeated. Everybody around her had grown silent. "I'll bet you two have been grooming your sons too, haven't you? Just like the majority of your kind do. Your wife was right to leave you!"

This was a point that she had crossed the line. People were starting to circle around them now; A couple even began to record the confrontation on their phone.

"What?!" Goku was completely stunned at the fact that she could even draw such an accusation. "I… How can you even-"

Again.

"Queer!"

And again.

Goku's back was now pressed against the wall.

What the hell is wrong with this woman? I've never seen somebody act this way before.

Chichi and I have gotten into arguments before, sure, but it was never over something this stupid. She's insane…!

"Hey, leave him alone! He hasn't done anything to you!" All of a sudden, a voice stopped her in her tracks. It was Trunks, who had apparently overheard the commotion.

"Hey, isn't that Ms. Bulma's son?" Somebody whispered.

"You shouldn't be acting this way. I'm telling my mom about this!" Trunks snapped.

Goku didn't care to stick around after that, not even for a second. He pulled away from the grasp of the woman, who had kept pushing him back against the wall, and walked past Trunks without a word.

Goku clutched at his chest, trying to ignore the pain shooting through it from the oncoming panic attack. Just barely, he managed to keep his breaths even.

Placing two fingers on his forehead he teleported to Vegeta.

What he didn't expect was to appear right in the line of one of Vegeta's ki blasts.

"Woah!" He stumbled back, blocking the attack with his arms. Since he was in base form and had fallen behind on his training, however, it was able to leave some decent size injuries.

"Kakarot?!" Vegeta's eyes widened.

"Ah... Sorry…" Goku grabbed at his chest once more. So much pressure, he could barely breathe.

"You idiot! You need to be more careful…" Vegeta scolded him with growing concern as he moved over closer, dodging a beam from one of the bots. "So what, did you come here to watch me train again? Not that I mind, but-"

"Not now, Vegeta... Maybe later… I just… needed to get away for a bit… from that…" Goku said in a low voice, his bangs shadowing his eyes as he walked over to a random edge of the room and sat down against the wall, his mind already taking him into numerous directions.

Except this time, he didn't hurt himself, he refused to. He just curled in on himself, pulling his knees against his chest and burying his face in his arms.

Watching him, Vegeta found it was completely impossible to continue focusing on training any further when his lover was right there in front of him clearly suffering for some unknown reason.

He had to be there for him.

After turning off all the training bots and the artificial gravity, he walked over and sat down beside him. Well, more like behind him since Goku was leaning sideways against the wall.

"Did something happen…?" Goku felt arms working their way around his waist, hugging him from behind and snapping him out of his thoughts. Slowly, the smaller Saiyan left a trail of kisses down the nape of his neck, breathing into his ear, "You can talk to me, you know..."

"I told you it's nothing." Goku gnawed at the inside of his cheek before he dismissed the conversation. "I'm fine…"

"Bullshit." Vegeta saw through it immediately. Obviously you're not fine, or you wouldn't be sitting on the floor right now, looking so damn pathetic… So what is it, already? Really…"

"Vegeta…" Goku's shoulders shaking. "Do you… think it's okay for us to be together? I… Some people… think it's… wrong… for two guys to like each other. It's apparently unnatural or something…"

The truth was the woman's hostility had affected him more than he wanted to admit.

"Unnatural? Now who the hell told you that…? I'll beat the living shit out of them if I have to." Vegeta growled, not liking that people were snooping into their private business.

"It was… one of the staff members… She started screaming at me and saying some strange words I've never heard before…"

Vegeta could only assume it was some slurs again or something of the sort.

"Ignore them. They don't know jack shit about us." He said with a scoff. "As long as we're happy together, that's the only thing that's important…"

"..." Goku couldn't bring himself to respond. He was too distraught and trying to wrap his head around Vegeta's words versus the other woman's.

Not liking how quiet Goku was being, Vegeta moved around so they were facing each other. He gave Goku a reassuring squeeze on his shoulders before kissing his forehead. "I mean it, Kakarot. Don't listen to those bastards, you hear me? They only want to bring us down and hurt us…"

"...For the first time in months, some part of me actually wants to live again… And that's… only because of you..." Goku choked out. "So then... how...? How could any of this possibly be wrong if being with you makes me feel so happy…? I don't understand it."

"That's because it's not wrong…" Vegeta tenderly stroked his cheek where some tears had started to fall obviously due to his anxiety and nerves. "We're not hurting anybody, are we? We're two consenting adults minding our own business, so they should as well… This bond we share… It is real… just as real as any other… So, please, you can't doubt yourself… nor us. Okay? I won't allow anybody to take this away from us."

Some part of him knew what Goku was going through. Even he himself had been there before. But he was confident in his sexuality. He knew exactly what he wanted - who he was attracted to - and he would make no apologies for that.

"A long time ago, I… My father… He tried to get me to agree to marrying some older woman I wasn't interested in… It was a distant cousin of mine. He said I was to eventually impregnate her so I could carry on the Royal bloodline. I refused to, of course… Mainly because I didn't want to set my limitations to just girls, if the age gap and the fact that we were related wasn't bad enough to me… But also… If I were to marry somebody… I wanted it to be somebody I could actually tolerate. Naturally, he didn't like that… the idea that I was interested in other guys as well. It disgusted him…"

"So what did he… do?" Goku asked with some hesitation.

Vegeta let out a small laugh, but it wasn't from amusement. "He punched me, and told me never to bring it up again. In all fairness, I suppose it's not… unusual for kids to have some sort of disagreement with their parents every now and then, is it…?"

"That's…" Goku paused, trying to think of some way to respond. It was a lot to process.

"Awful?" Vegeta finished plainly, with a downcast look on his face. "Heh, well, in all fairness, our people aren't exactly known for being saints, Kakarot, least of all my father…"

"Yeah, but you were a child…" Goku argued weakly.

"Perhaps… but what other choice did we have…? Our population kept declining, so… the only way to deal with that was by creating more babies. So in some ways, I understand it, even if I don't agree with it… But even then, it was partially his own fault… He'd have people killed for the stupidest of reasons, and others he'd banish or send off on missions that they'd have next to no chance of surviving. He not only exiled my brother over his power level, but then he turned around and sold me to that bastard Frieza as some… bargaining chip. His own sons." Vegeta suddenly realized then that this was starting to go off topic from the original subject, into a much darker territory he thought he had left behind.

"Vegeta… You know… how you… said you had been… raped…? Was that… before you were handed over to Frieza, or… after…?" Goku wasn't sure if Vegeta would be okay answering that and didn't want to put any pressure on him.

"..." Vegeta was quiet, his body growing somewhat stiff at the question. He gazed away. "It was after… I was… seven when it first started… I… I'm sorry, this got off topic…"

"No, it's okay." Goku replied a bit awkwardly. "If there's something bothering you, you can always talk to me about it. I don't always know what to say about some things, but… I will… listen…"

Vegeta bit his lip, but once again decided to change the subject. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to talk about those things.

"...You don't need to worry about that other stuff… The only thing I want you know is this…" Leaning closer, he briefly pressed their lips together. "There's nothing wrong with us being together, even if we are both men. Anybody who tries to convince you otherwise doesn't know what they're talking about… It's like I said before, as long as you and I are happy, that's all that matters… Y-you are, aren't you…?

Even if Goku had said he was, Vegeta had to make absolutely certain. As much as he loved him, he could never force him to be with him if he didn't want to.

"Yeah, of course I am. I told you that already…" Goku said in a soft, reassuring tone.

"Then stay with me…" Vegeta tightly pulled him into his arms, resting his chin over his shoulder.

"Okay…" Without a second thought, Goku returned the hug.

Goku was about to speak up but right as he did, the door opened and Bulma stepped in.

"I am so sorry, Goku. Trunks just told me what happened. That woman had no business talking to you or treating you that way. She didn't hurt you, did she?" She walked over towards him.

"I'm fine, Bulma… She did hit me, but it didn't hurt. I just didn't like that she was getting all up in my face like that when I hadn't done anything to her. She started prying into my business out of nowhere and then she accused me of cheating on Chichi with Vegeta, that was the reason we broke up… I tried to tell her I wouldn't do that but then she started saying that liking another guy is…" Goku murmured. "She said it was unnatural and wrong and she even… accused me of… touching Gohan and Goten… I would never do that…"

"I know." Bulma sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "This isn't the first time she's caused trouble like this. Some of the others have complained before because she kept starting shit with people. I just fired her and I'm going to call a meeting later to discuss this because some people still apparently have no idea exactly what a no discrimination policy means."

Even as Bulma left, Vegeta didn't say anything, he just continued to hold Goku in his arms, barely containing his rage towards the unnamed woman who had caused such a mess. If Bulma hadn't let her go, then he'd have had a word or two to say himself.

…

That evening, Vegeta found himself showering yet again, but the last thing he expected was to hear a knock on the door and for Goku to call out to him.

"Hey, Vegeta…?"

"What do you want, Kakarot?" Vegeta asked.

"Can I… bathe with you?" Came the meek question, one he could barely even make out for the water running and wouldn't have been able to if Goku hadn't cracked the door open.

At first, Vegeta was speechless, but knew he had to give some sort of response.

"I don't… mind… but are you sure you're okay with that…?" He asked. Sure, they had bathed together before, but not since the assault.

"...Well, I did sort of get used to bathing around you, so… I thought that… maybe… I'd like to do that again... I understand if you don't want to, though, I should just… go…" Goku said, preparing to leave. He knew that Vegeta had gotten really upset the last time he came into the bathroom while he was bathing, back on Beerus's world, so he wasn't sure if he was crossing over a line or not.

"No, it's… fine… Come in." Vegeta glanced out of the curtain to see Goku enter the room with a small blush, nervously holding his change of clothes against his chest.

After a long moment, the Saiyan finally put them aside and began to strip himself of his gi, avoiding his partner's gaze entirely, as if he felt like he was doing something wrong somehow.

When Goku stepped into the shower, he immediately turned away so his back was was facing him. For some reason or another, he couldn't bring himself to look at Vegeta's body now without feeling guilty or dirty about it.

He didn't deserve to.

This wasn't mentioning the ever persisting shame he felt over his own body, self doubts, which were hitting him full force all over again.

Why did I think this would be a good idea? I feel so stupid right now...

"What's the matter with you…? First you ask to bathe with me, yet now you can't even look at me? I swear… you're such a mess." Vegeta said with affection.

Goku's ears heated up a bit when he felt lips against his back.

"Do you want me to clean your back…?" The prince offered.

Goku nodded.

"Then sit down." Vegeta adjusted the shower, before sitting down behind him. "I'm going to wash your hair first, is that alright with you?"

"Mhm." Goku sat down on the surface of the bathtub.

As Vegeta grabbed a shampoo bottle and began lathering some of the substance into his hair, Goku closed his eyes, relaxing at the contact like he always did.

Once Vegeta was finished, he moved onto Goku's back. He was careful to avoid his tail scar, not wanting to repeat the same mistake as before, but making sure to thoroughly soak his skin in suds.

"Do you… mind if I wash your back too?" Goku asked, when Vegeta began to rinse him off. "I'd like to, if that's okay."

"Well, alright, but surely you must know by now that you can't do that if you're turned away, right?" Vegeta teased lightly.

"...I know." Goku said, before slowly moving around so they were facing each other each other.

Vegeta had his elbow on the side of the tub. He smirked at him when their eyes met. "See, now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Don't tease me… This stuff is embarrassing…" Goku sulked.

"Embarrassing? Why…?" Vegeta frowned slightly. He knew it wasn't about Goku's body this time, because he seemed to have mostly grown comfortable with being naked around him when he was bathing, so Vegeta could only assume it had to be more related to the fact that he himself was naked. "Is it… because of him… Or…"

"I dunno... I think it's… just cuz we're together now…" Goku said. "I felt like this around Chichi too sometimes."

"So what? You think I'm going to call you a pervert or something?" Vegeta taunted.

"No, of course not! That's-" Goku shivered at the word and the way Vegeta said it.

"Relax. I'm only joking." Vegeta assured. "All the same. There's nothing wrong with finding a partner attractive, you know. You don't have to feel ashamed for looking at me while we're bathing..."

"I… It's not… like that… I mean I… do like you… I just… I don't know how to describe it… I think you're pretty and all, and really really handsome too, but… I don't… get turned on… by looking at you… like Bulma probably would have…" It was a strange and hard confession to make, he could only hope that it wouldn't offend Vegeta. Immediately after, he tried to explain it further. "But it's not just you, I-I've never felt those things… Not even for Chichi either, so I-I don't want you to think I don't like you cuz of this, cuz I do, I just-"

"Kakarot…" Vegeta interrupted him, sensing how frustrated he was getting over this. "You don't need to explain yourself to me. I kind of already figured all that out by now just by being with you."

"Y-you did? And… you're… okay with that?" Some part of Goku had always felt bad for not being able to be attracted to him or Chichi in the same way they had been attracted to him. He wanted to, but it just wasn't how he operated.

"Yeah, of course. It's just part of who you are. As long as you do have feelings for me, I don't care what form they may take. Although…" A devilish grin made it's way to Vegeta's lips, as he brushed a finger across Goku's chest, creating a circle. "If you could… I'd like you to repeat what you said just now."

"What I… said?" Goku inquired.

"You said I was… pretty… and something else. What was it?" Vegeta knew what he had said, but he wanted to get a rise out of him.

Goku's face flushed bright red. He lowered his head embarrassment. "I said… you were… pretty… and… really… really… handsome too…"

"Mn. Tell me more." Vegeta moved closer, kissing his neck.

"Vegeta…" Goku whined, not liking to be asked to say such things out loud.

"What?" Vegeta stared at him lovingly.

"I'm no good at these things…" Goku pouted.

"I know, but still, I want to hear what all you have to say about me…" Vegeta said with some expectancy. When he saw Goku was too bashful to give a response, however, he decided to humor him. "What's your favorite thing, then?"

"...My… favorite thing? That's uh… Y-your hands…" Goku sputtered out.

"My hands…?" Vegeta faltered, somewhat confused. That was the last answer he had expected to hear from him. "What about my hands…?"

"...They're… strong, but… they can also be gentle too… like when you hold me… and touch me… I really like that." Goku mumbled.

Vegeta didn't know how to respond to that at first, especially considering how such a statement could have been taken if he didn't know Goku better than he did.

He pressed his palm against Goku's chest, where his heart was pounding rapidly. "...So… you like it when I touch you, huh…? Then… how's this…?"

Goku timidly averted his gaze as Vegeta's hand moved downwards. He shielded his stomach, giggling at the ticklish sensation. "Hey, cut it out…! Now you're makin' it awkward."

Vegeta smirked softly when he saw the smile on Goku's face. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself… I really like it when you laugh."

"Liar. You just wanted to mess with me." Goku sulked.

"Well, that too." Vegeta admitted with a small chuckle.

"Jerk." Goku puffed his cheek out in that annoyingly adorable way that Vegeta loved more than anything.

"All the same… I…" Vegeta then reached back up and lifted his chin between his index finger and thumb, causing a look of confusion to pass over Goku's face.

Goku almost thought Vegeta was going to kiss him, but he wasn't sure.

Vegeta, however, retracted his hand, bashfully turning his head away and clutching at his arm. He looked self-conscious.

"I don't… mind… t… touching you… or holding you… As long as you need me too… If it… helps, I mean… N-Not that I mind, anyways, I just…" He paused, his voice shaky as he ruffled up some of his hair due to his nerves. "Damn it, I'm probably making this even more awkward than it already was right now, aren't I…? I'm sorry…"

"No, i-it's alright… I get what you're trying to say…" Goku didn't want him getting frustrated with himself over this. "Heh, I guess this is… a little strange for both of us, huh…?"

"It sure seems that way, doesn't it?" Vegeta admitted, finding a small amount of humor in the situation. His smile, however, soon faded.

"...Hey… About… what you said before." He felt his ears heating up, struggling to speak. "You're… pretty too…"

"Vegeta..." Goku's heart fluttered in response to being called pretty. Vegeta didn't give such compliments often.

Both of the Saiyans were a fiery mess after that, so Vegeta shoved the rag against him and turned around, knowing he needed to avert the conversation. "Come on, I thought you said you wanted to wash my back, didn't you? So do it, already... Idiot…"

"Oh, uh right… sorry…" Goku giggled. He took the rag and squirted some lavender scented body wash into it, before pressing it up against Vegeta's neck.

After a second, he began to scrub it into his skin, working his way down and making sure that his back was thoroughly soaked with suds.

In that moment, the fact that they were both naked together suddenly wasn't as intimidating to Goku as it had been before.

…

"Say, Goku, are you planning to get Vegeta a gift for White Day?"

"White Day?" Goku looked with confusion at Bulma who was sitting across the table from him. They were in the dining room. "Isn't that for guys to give gifts to girls? At least that's what Chichi told me. Valentine's day was the opposite, I think… Actually, I considered getting him chocolates that day, but I'm not a woman and Vegeta ain't either so it seems strange to me. How would that even work for us…?"

"Well…, I guess I can understand your confusion, but I think you should just do what feels comfortable to you." Bulma advised. "Hell, even I've received chocolates from other women on Valentine's day. Likewise, some guys I know have given gifts to other men on White Day. It's not anything abnormal."

"Oh, I see… But what should I get him then?" Goku mused.

"Well…, if you want my advice, I'd suggest getting him something with dark chocolate, that's actually Vegeta's favorite." Bulma whispered slightly.

"Dark chocolate, huh…?" Goku thought it over, before blushing a bit. "Could I maybe bake him something, then? Like cookies…?"

"Yeah, cookies are quite common, So if that's what you want to make for him, then I say go for it." Bulma grinned.

"Also, I kinda wanna get him some kind of gift too but I really don't know what he'd like…" Goku said.

Bulma thought about it. "Well, Vegeta may grumble about it, but he's really not all that picky about the gifts he receives. Just try getting him some flowers or a stuffed animal or something. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. And even if you can't think of anything, what I think he'd probably want more than anything is just for you to be by his side."

Goku wasn't sure what to think of hearing that at first. The suggestion she made sounded absolutely ridiculous. A stuffed animal?

Would Vegeta really be okay with something like that? Chichi always liked those things… But Vegeta would probably just call it childish...

Then again, Bulma said he'd probably accept anything and she was married to him… So… maybe it would be alright, after all…?

…

Before coming to Earth, Vegeta never cared to celebrate any kind of holiday, he still didn't, in fact. Not really anyways. He found it so pointless. But if there was food involved, Vegeta might make an exception sometimes.

So when the mention of White Day left Bulma's mouth, he already knew what she was insinuating immediately. He didn't like it, but in the end, she won.

Of course she did. She always did.

Unfortunately, just like Goku, Vegeta wasn't an expert when it came to picking out gifts either. Outside of a fancy milk chocolate bar, nothing felt suitable to him.

Technically speaking, Goku was a relatively simple person, so he'd probably be content with anything he got.

But Vegeta didn't want it to be just anything.

He wanted it to be special.

He could propose the steak house again, since they still hadn't had their date, but considering Goku's recent issue with food, he didn't know if the option would be well received right now.

In the end, all he could think to do was leave the option up to Goku, and let him choose for himself what he wanted.

…

White Day

Vegeta found Goku sitting on the floor of the Gravity Chamber that evening.

He was starting to think that this was Goku's favorite spot to just sit, because it seemed like he had been coming here a lot.

"Hey…" Vegeta muttered.

"Hey, I-" Goku started to speak, but was cut off when a chocolate bar was shoved in his face.

Goku looked up to see that Vegeta was avoiding his gaze with a blush.

"Here… It's… White Day, right…? Bulma said I should get you chocolate… So I did." The prince muttered. "I don't… really have any gifts for you or anything though, since I wasn't sure what you'd want, but I guess we could… do something later, if you'd like."

Goku paused, before taking the chocolate.

"Thanks… Actually…" He then buried his face in his arm in embarrassment, holding out a small stuffed bear of some kind and a small baggy, which had his cookies in it. "I got you some stuff as well… But I… was worried you'd think it was stupid…"

"Of course I wouldn't. Did you make these?" Vegeta's expression softened as he sat down in front of him and took the gifts from him, not commenting on the bandages he had noticed on Goku's fingers.

"Yeah… um… Bulma said you liked dark chocolate, so I decided to bake some cookies for you… I hope you like them okay." Goku said.

Vegeta took one out and bit into it. "This is good."

"You mean you really like it?" Goku asked.

"Yeah, I do…" Vegeta finished it off, before laying the cookie bag beside him. "So did you… make this too?"

This time he was referring to the small stuffed bear that Goku had given him. The stitching wasn't by any means of the word perfect, but the object was at least recognizable.

"Mhm, I-uh sorta asked Chichi to teach me how to sew some. I'm still nowhere near as good at this stuff as she is, though, so I kept messing up and pricking my fingers, haha…" Goku explained, laughing a bit.

At realizing that, Vegeta grabbed Goku's hands, caressing his fingers.

"So that's why you… These injuries, then…" he was almost at a loss of words. "They're because of me, aren't they…?"

"What? Don't say it like that. I just… I thought you wouldn't take it seriously unless I went through the effort of making something for you myself." Goku said. "Then again, maybe making a bear was stupid after all. You're not really the type of person who seems to care about that sort of thing..."

"No, it's… cute… Thanks." Vegeta muttered, his cheeks becoming flushed. "But I still haven't gotten you your gift… What do you want? We could go somewhere, like the restaurant we went to before, or-"

"Just… kiss me…" Goku said, moving closer to him.

"That's all?" Vegeta faltered, having expected something more.

"Yeah… Are you… okay with that?" Goku wanted to know.

"Sure… Whatever you want to do is fine with me, Kakarot…" Vegeta was a bit surprised when Goku actually took the initiative to close the gap between them.

As they deepened the kiss, however, Vegeta couldn't help but get the feeling that something was off about Goku's behavior. He was much more receptive than usual. Well,… receptive wasn't the word he was looking for. Rather, he was bolder in his actions than usual, as if he was forcing himself to go through the motions but wasn't actually into it, at least not fully.

He tried to tell himself that he was just his imagination since Goku was the one who had initiated this, but his suspicions became more pressing with the next words that came out of Goku's mouth.

"Hey, we should take this to the bedroom… Can we?" He suggested, tightly embracing Vegeta's neck with his arms as Vegeta kissed him again.

"You want to…?" Vegeta asked, desperately wanting to believe that Goku wasn't doing what he thought he was.

"If you don't mind…" Goku replied with a nod.

"Alright, hold still…" With that confirmation, Vegeta lifted him up and carried him back to their bedroom.

After tossing both of their items onto the dresser, he laid Goku down on the bed, once again claiming his lips and tongue in a battle for dominance, one which he quickly won as always.

That was until Goku's hands started to wander aimlessly around his waist, eventually sliding up into his shirt. When his hands rubbed against his pecs, Vegeta's breath hitched slightly at the contact, a bright blush forming on his face. He could feel the intention behind it and knew exactly what Goku was trying to do, even if he wasn't particularly skilled at it.

"Kakarot, wait…" He swallowed, taking his hands into his own from outside his tank top as he tried his best to fight off the heat rushing through his body.

"What is it…?" Goku asked.

Vegeta looked at him with apprehension. "Are you… really sure about this?"

"I don't know…" Goku admitted. "But this is something you've wanted for months now, right…? I wanna make you happy… Besides, I am… sort of in the mood."

"Sort of…?" Vegeta's heart ached at hearing that. "Kakarot… that's not… enough… If we… do that, it needs to be something that you want. Something that you're ready for… And you're not right now… I can tell…"

As he spoke, he reached up and traced his fingers along Goku's jawline. "You're just afraid… that I'm going to leave you… aren't you…?"

"I'm sorry… It's just…" Goku tried to blink away the liquid fogging up his vision. "You're always… doing things for me… and taking care of me…, and I can't even…. do one basic thing now… Something that every normal person is able to. But if doing this… would make you happy, then I…"

His voice cracked as he frantically tried to rationalize it.

"No, your body isn't some… transaction to me… I will not take advantage of you like this." The words came out harsher than intended. He felt an immediate pang of guilt when tears began streaming down Goku's cheeks, sobs escaping his lips.

"Hey… No, no, no, shh… please… Don't cry…" Using both hands, he desperately wiped away his tears, but they kept falling. "Kakarot…"

Vegeta felt a lump form in his throat, wondering if he had said the right thing. Maybe Goku had taken his words as a rejection of his body?

What else was I supposed to say?

Shit…

I've got to fix this… but how?

"Hey…" Hugging him tight, he whispered into his ear. "Do you mind… if I let you in on a little secret…? Between just the two of us..."

Goku became a bit quieter, signifying that he was listening.

"The truth is… I'm also nervous about that stuf… Having sex with you, I mean…" Vegeta said.

"You are…?" Goku was surprised to hear him admit something like that. He sniffled.

"Yes, I am… I… haven't had slept with another man in years, and the last time was…" Vegeta averted his gaze. "Well, it wasn't… consensual, so… I don't want… to risk hurting you, the way he hurt me…"

"...You won't, though…" As Goku spoke, he reached up and traced his fingers along Vegeta's jawline, his chest burning as he offered himself to him. "I trust you…"

Vegeta swallowed at hearing that, feeling ashamed of himself when blood suddenly rushed to his groin.

He would be lying if he said he didn't want to touch his skin or feel his body in his hands; to be able to admire those special parts of him that Goku kept hidden from the world and everyone else. To mark him in all the places he hadn't already and even communicate to him through such an act just how much he loved and cherished him.

More than anything, his body yearned for him.

But he could never cross over a line that Goku wasn't completely okay with. And the very idea of him forcing himself to endure something like that for Vegeta's sake? It was out of the question.

If there was to ever be a first time for them, then he needed it to be perfect.

He shook his head. "No… I don't want you to give yourself up for my sake. We should wait a while, until you're truly ready for this. Until we both are…Can we…?"

"...Yeah, alright…" Goku said.

"Heh, I've got a better idea, anyways…" Vegeta smirked, wanting to lighten the mood.

"What is it…?" Goku inquired.

Vegeta leaned in again, intertwining their fingers and pinning his hands against the bed with a small smirk. "Just let me kiss you some more…"

"Okay." Goku blushed.

So he did.

…

A couple months later with no progress on the therapy situation - partially because Goku himself still didn't want one and subtly diverted the subject anytime it was brought up - his prosecuting team wanted to show his around the court room.

The room was smaller than he'd have liked. It felt cramped. Maybe that was just because he was anxious. The whole experience was nerve wracking, even though he had Vegeta with him. Some faces he recognized, a couple he didn't. And some things, certain conversations he blocked out.

There was a man named Alex who introduced himself as Goku's advocate. He seemed pretty nice.

Everybody on his team was nice. They spoke to him with understanding and compassion, so there was a small amount of reassurance there. They even had the detective go up just to show him what some examples of the trial would be like.

However, the biggest concern on his mind was what the defense would say and he knew that couldn't truly he answered until the day of the trial itself.

He was sitting in his designated spot in the room between Alex and the prosecutor's assistant, Harl, as Sarla and Fran prattled on about something.

"Do you mind if I hold my hand on you? I thought it might help ground you some." Alex could tell he was getting upset, placing his palm on his back.

Goku knew he didn't mean any harm by it, but he didn't like this at all. He didn't want anybody except for Vegeta touching him there or really anywhere.

Still, he didn't want to be seen as rude, however, so he couldn't say anything.

That was until Alex's hand brushed against his lower side, due to rubbing his back, which caused him to jump slightly at the contact. Whether it was because he was ticklish or out of sheer discomfort, Goku wasn't sure - he assumed it was both - but he was on the verge of saying something.

Vegeta beat him to it. He was sitting in the seat behind them, not liking the sight. "Hey, he doesn't like being touched by people he's not familiar with. I'd appreciate it if you'd stop."

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't aware." Alex apologized, letting go immediately.

"Kakarot, here." Vegeta said, placing a hand on his shoulder and handing him a fidget referred to as a wacky track. Another one Bulma had given him.

Goku took it, turning it into different shapes to keep himself calm.

Vegeta took this opportunity to hug him from behind.

Slowly, Goku's breathing regulated at the contact. But only because it was Vegeta, only because this was his lover.

After he had calmed down some, Sarla looked back at him, offering a small smile, "Goku, would you like to take a seat up in the witness's chair just to sort of get an idea of what it's like?"

"Yeah, okay… I guess I could." Goku's response was apprehensive, but he agreed to it.

"You can do this. Remember what I've told you." Vegeta said softly, before letting him go up. It wasn't an actual trial right now, but he knew he needed active encouragement throughout every step of this process.

When he sat down in the chair, which had wheels on it and a soft seat, he felt his anxiety start to consume him once more. He kept his head lowered, feeling all the eyes in the room on him at once. There was a microphone attached to the desk in front of him.

I know this isn't the actual trial, but…

Just being here like this… It's…

Goku reached up, nervously pulling down some of his hair to cover his peripheral view and twisting it slightly in his fingers.

An empty seat.

That man will probably be sitting there one day.

I don't want to see his face again.

"I'm afraid that he'll try to start something with me." Goku mumbled.

"I honestly don't think that will be an issue, and, if he does, it will only look bad on him. We'll have plenty of cops on guard right next to him, so if he does try to attack you or something, they'll stop him." Sarla assured him.

"I was wondering about the defense attorney. What kinds of things will he ask?" Goku wanted to know.

"Oh, that's a good question. I'm glad you asked. What the defense attorney will do in a situation like this will be one of two things. Either he'll try to either deny the situation happened entirely, which he's very unlikely to do at this point, or he'll try to say that you consented to what happened, which simply isn't true. We know you didn't want it. You've told us that, multiple times. So if he asks something like, 'Isn't it true that you consented?' Then you just say no. You have only one job here. And that's to tell the truth."

"I've occasionally seen stuff on TV where defense attorneys often get really um…" Goku trailed off, trying to find the right word.

"Confrontational?" Sarla finished.

"Yeah, I think that's it... I'm a bit scared that he'll say something mean to me." Goku said.

"So I've met him before, and he seems like a fairly nice guy, so I highly doubt he's going to get rude with you. Most trials aren't anything like what you see on TV."

"They're not?" Goku seemed surprised.

"No, court proceedings are usually much quieter." Sarla confirmed, before going on to explain a bit more about the seating and certain roles of the people in the court.

That's when she asked if she could do a mock direct examination with him.

He agreed to this as well, but he barely held himself together.

The questions started out simple. They were about his hobbies, past work experience(in which he mentioned fieldwork), before eventually going into more personal matters like his falling out with Chichi which led up to the topic of how he had met Allan, and eventually the assault itself.

"And after he gave you his pills, what happened next?"

This is where he started to lose it.

He didn't even think of using his coping mechanisms, he couldn't.

"I um… Well, he had me try the pot, but I didn't like it because it made me choke and I couldn't breathe. I tried to give it back, but he pressured me to try it a couple more times I think it was, uh… I was still coughing, so he had me take another sip of the drink before pulling me in his arms… He was laughing before then, and I um, was too, but it's just cuz I was nervous - I laugh sometimes when I'm anxious. Anyways, I noticed I had started to feel sorta tired, and… what was it…" Just barely, he managed to continue with his story, but found himself digging into his wrist all over again, for the first time in a while, and due to the stress of the situation, he kept losing his train of thought and forgetting what he was saying. "Oh, when he pulled me into his arms, and I-I froze up… That's when he… began to take off my clothes. He pulled off my uwagi, and snapped at me… told me… to untie my obi, s-so I did… I had… never really been in a situation like that before, with somebody ordering me around like that, so I… wasn't really sure how to react… I mean I've had… sex before, but this was… different somehow, because the other times were with somebody I knew… and felt comfortable with. After that, he pulled off my zubon and started… touching me..."

"At some point, did you express discomfort with this?" Sarla asked.

"Y-yeah, I-I even told him that I wasn't comfortable with it… That I didn't want to do that…" Goku murmured, squirming his legs around. Blood was caking his nails, but because of the desk surrounding him, nobody could see it right now. He knew that Vegeta wouldn't be happy, but he couldn't help it. It was the only thing stopping him from having a full on panic attack.

"And did he listen to you?" Sarla asked.

"No. He kept… ignoring me… and told me to relax my legs… At some point, he started… sticking his fingers… inside of my… butt… He said I wanted his… thing… inside of me… because I was… erect… My memories are fuzzy but he kissed me too… and started taking pictures of me or maybe he was recording me, I don't know." Goku wanted to throw up. He didn't want to talk about this. Not in front of all these people.

Vegeta's stomach clenched as he listened to him talk.

"Did you consent to having those pictures taken?"

"No." Goku choked out.

"And what else did he do?"

"He…" Tears welled up in his eyes. "stuck his… penis… inside of me…" Goku bounced his leg, before raising his voice slightly. "I told him I didn't want him to, that I wasn't comfortable. I told him, and he said he wouldn't do anything, b-but he did it anyways…"

"When he did that, did it hurt?"

"Y-yeah, a whole lot actually." Goku replied, shakily. "I even shouted because of the pain I was in. I told him it hurt, and he asked if he was crossing a line, but no matter what I said… he kept going anyways and said that I was the… perfect fit because I was… tight… He also knew that I was in pain, because later on he said he didn't know why it hurt me so bad."

He was shaking once again, barely holding himself together.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you, Goku. Did he stick his penis anywhere else?"

"Yeah, uh, there were these times he had to go to the bathroom, which was right next to his… bedroom. He kept pulling out of me and going to wash himself off… and uh…" Goku lost his train of thought for a moment, too nervous and realizing that he had diverted the topic slightly, but, fortunately, Sarla didn't seem to mind.

"Can I ask you what was washing off?" She asked.

Goku was quiet for a long time, but finally he spoke back up. "...It was… poop."

His face turned red at the sheer humiliation of having to say such a thing out loud.

"Of course it was..." Sarla replied in a low, understanding, voice.

"I was still feeling really weak, but I tried to get back up and pull on my clothes. He came back in before I could, though, and pushed me back down on the bed… and told me not to go. After that, he… made me suck his… penis… and balls. I was… having a lot of trouble breathing because he kept shoving it too far into my throat, and I ended up… throwing up… several times. He used his pants to wipe it off my face before… fussing at me and calling me a bunch of names… he told me to… to record myself… and said… t-to smile for the camera… I was… crying. I kept telling him I needed to go, but he wouldn't let me, he kept saying he needed to cum first, to record me swallowing it, so he could have me… watch it on the TV with him… Finally, I said that I had an appointment… and would come back in a couple hours so he… let me go after that. I'm sorry, my memories are all jumbled right now…"

"It's okay, you've done fantastic." Sarla assured him. She had a few more questions to ask after that, but, after a few minutes, concluded that that was enough for the time being.

The first thing he did when he returned to the other seats was crash into Vegeta.

"Kakarot…! Hey, what's…" The hug was a bit strong and sudden for him to know how to react to immediately. He started to push Goku back, but upon seeing tears in his eyes and feeling him shaking, he enveloped him in an embrace, allowing him to rest his face against his chest. "It's alright now… You did great…"

Hearing some of the new details he hadn't heard before had rehashed his anger towards Goku's rapist all over again, but it soon subsided, his overwhelming concern being Goku's mental state.

For the moment, he even chose to ignore the blood on Goku's wrist and nails. Giving him some time to calm down was all that mattered to him right now.

After Goku had calmed down some, Alex and Harl bandaged his arm before Sarla soon approached him again.

"Do you have any questions for me?" She wanted to know.

"Do you think… you could eventually have somebody play the role of a defense attorney, so I can… get a better idea of the sorts of things he'll be asking?" He requested.

"We can certainly do that." Sarla said. "Would you like to plan for a mock cross examination the next time you come here?"

"Yeah, if you could. I'm still really nervous about all this, so…" Goku gazed away. "I kinda wanna know what to expect."

"That's completely understandable." Sarla replied. "You know, though, in all the time I've been working here, I've never had somebody ask me to do something like that before. You're really brave."

This surprised Goku. He wasn't really sure how to respond other than nervously mentioning how much he wanted to be prepared again.

In the end, they agree to meet again in three weeks.

…

The said three weeks went by much faster than Goku would have liked.

This time, the process was similar although there was another man who introduced himself as Damian. He was supposed to be the one to play the defense attorney.

So once Sarla was done with her direct examination, Damian did his cross examination.

Naturally, Damian didn't have all the details about Goku's case, but he did do his best to replicate what a cross examination might look like based on what Goku said himself and stuff from his file. Goku somehow found that it was easier to reply to his questions than Sarla's.

"So when you laid down on the ground, the defendant approached you and offered to help you by letting you rest at his place for a while, correct?" Damian asked.

"Yeah… But he didn't mention anything about wanting sex." Goku replied.

"And at that time, did you happen to tell him that you were suicidal…?" Damian questioned.

"No… Although I did mention the argument I had had with my ex-wife, and what she said to me…" Goku murmured.

"Would you agree that you have a lot of thoughts that you don't always speak out loud?"

"Yeah, sometimes…" Goku admitted.

"So he wasn't aware that you were having thoughts about killing yourself then, right?"

"N-no. Probably not…" Goku gnawed at his lip.

"Okay. So when you arrived at his place, did you go straight to his bedroom?"

"Y-yeah. I was still feeling nauseated from the heat, so I just wanted to lay down."

"He then made you a sandwich and gave you a drink to help you feel better, is that correct?"

"Yeah."

"Did anything seem odd about the drink?"

"No, I don't think so…"

"You know the difference between right and wrong, right?" Damion asked.

"Yes…"

"And you said that he pressured you to smoke his pipe, the marijuana. He didn't force you to, correct?"

"...No. Although he did keep pushing it back at me even though I was choking."

"He didn't force you to take his medication, he just handed them to you, is that right…?"

"Well, I didn't really know what muscle relaxers were for. He mentioned something about stress relievers too, but… He just said they would help me feel better. I didn't think they would… do that to me…" Goku started twisting his hair again, a habit he'd recently picked up on, which Vegeta didn't like, but he couldn't help it. "I just figured they would help my stomach somehow. I guess there may have been some thought that it wasn't a good idea, but I wanted to trust him and I wasn't really thinking about it… He said he was a nice guy, so I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt…"

"So…" Damion had to pause, looking over his notes briefly. "Between the time frame that you took the medication and before he pulled you into his arms and started kissing you, can you remember what your conversation looked like?"

"I can't… really remember a lot of it…, Except… sometime after he made me take the puffs of the… pot…, he asked me something about sex… which struck me as kind of odd, but I was already sort of out of it by then… I said that I… don't… usually enjoy sex unless I've known somebody for a long time and that even then it's… not something I like doing all the time… He told me that it was… because I hadn't been with the right person yet, that my ex-wife… probably didn't know how to make me feel good… Later on... after he started kissing me, he started touching me, he um… he said that… I would… feel something when he was inside of me… and he thought that I wanted to do that… because I was erect… I… tried to explain that it was just my body's reaction… but he wouldn't listen…"

Upon hearing this, Vegeta was once again on the verge of going straight up to the jail house and killing the monster himself at this point. Keeping himself in a proper position, he clutched his arms, so tightly his knuckles were becoming white.

What a sick bastard.

Sexuality and sex drive aren't things to be changed by anybody, and nor do they need to be…

Not a single person had the right to make that decision for him.

"After he started putting his fingers inside of you, I know you said that he told you to relax your legs, but he didn't hold you down, did he?" Damian asked.

"He-actually, he did. Well sorta anyway. When he told me to relax my legs, he started pressing himself against me at some point so I couldn't move." Goku explained.

"Oh, in your record, it didn't say that he did." Damian had to take a moment to process the new information. "Did you have your phone on you at the time?"

"No."

"...That's all the questions I have." Damian finally said after mumbling something to himself, as if deep in thought.

In the end, everybody was proud of how well Goku had done, all things considered.

Even Damian said he had done well.

…

Over the course of the next few months, Goku continued coming back to prepare more.

The question of the man's DNA eventually got brought up, by Vegeta. To see if they had it.

Fortunately they did, and in that way, Goku was lucky, because in many cases it wasn't always possible to preserve DNA evidence from a sexual crime, especially depending on how much time had passed and other factors, like if one had drank fluids or showered after the assault. Not that DNA was always necessary for cases like these, but it could certainly help a lot. To avoid the possibility of the Defense Attorney outright denying it happened.

As it turned out, the man had also deleted a large portion of data from within a certain time frame, but fortunately, they had managed to recover bits and pieces of certain photos and videos. They even had records of his search history which included stuff about sexual assault and directions on how to permanently delete videos, which he had apparently failed at hiding.

Not only that but he had even searched up porn containing minors. Any guilt Goku might have felt over reporting him was gone after finding that out.

…

As it turned out, the charges Allan was currently being held for was Quasi Forcible Indecency: Quasi Rape.

Seeing the simple usage of the word quasi left a bitter taste in Vegeta's mouth, that it wasn't regarded as actual rape and would have a less severe punishment than such, primarily because Goku had been drugged and was nearly unconscious, which made no sense because realistically, that should have made it even worse.

Of course, the very fact that Goku was born male would have prevented Allan from being charged with actual rape in the first place, but Vegeta thought that was also bullshit.

If Vegeta had his way, he'd kill him to avoid the embarrassment of a trial all together and the prevent the risk of him getting out after a short amount of time, but he knew Goku's stance on this, so he had no choice but to comply. Still, in his own opinion, that 'law' needed to be changed.

And yet this wasn't the prosecuting team's fault, they had no say so in that stuff, so there was no reason to take it out on them.

Vegeta watched from his seat as Goku went through yet another mock trial process, this time in front of a group of people who were supposed to be playing the role of the jury.

Goku was doing everything he could, and fighting against every bit of anxiety he had to go through with it. Despite that, it didn't stop him from hurting himself again.

Still, Vegeta was so proud of him; he had been encouraging every step of the way since the beginning of all of this.

That's what pushed Goku forward and made him feel like he could truly do this; what made him want to do this.

…

Alex made plans with Goku to buy him some clothes that he could wear in the week of the trial.

"You shouldn't have to buy your own court clothes." He had said. "That's why I'm here, to help you prepare for this and get you anything you may need. How do new clothes sound? Are you interested?"

"Yeah, who knows, this might actually be good for you, Kakarot." Vegeta added.

"You think? Well, I guess I could." Goku had an attachment to his gi despite not fighting anymore, but he knew Chichi would have expected him to wear something more proper for the occasion and apparently these people did as well, so he decided to take him up on his offer.

…

Shopping for new clothes went by well enough, although Goku himself didn't have much of an opinion on most things. There were, however, certain outfits he rejected solely because he didn't like the texture or fabric of it or if he felt they were too constraining. But he made some decisions in the end.

Alex also took Goku out for a meal afterwards, not that he ended up eating much.

It was at this point that Goku was then given a subpoena to appear in court.

…

On the first day of the trial, Goku ended up putting on a white dress shirt, a black blazer and tie as well as some blue jeans.

"Those look good on you." Vegeta had his arms folded, standing at the bathroom door with a small smirk. He himself had on an unbuttoned yellow dress shirt with a white tank top, blue skinny jeans and black boots that matched the pendant Goku had given him, which, begrudgingly enough, he still continued to wear to this day. "If I didn't know any better, I'd almost think you were about to go to one of Bulma's business meetings or something."

"I feel ridiculous." Goku muttered, despite feeling flattered by what he could only assume was a compliment. "Chichi used to get me to wear these sort of things all the time for stuff at Gohan's school, Goten's too. I usually just prefer to wear my gi, though. It's easier to move around in."

"I know, but try to bear it. This will all be over before you know it." Vegeta reassured, approaching him.

"It sure doesn't feel like it." Goku muttered. "I feel like I'm going crazy."

"It's going to work out." He tried to comfort him as he had other times, recognizing just how stressed he was.

"I really hope you're right." Goku replied. "But what if all of this ends up being for nothing? I heard somewhere that only two percent of sex offenders like him are actually convicted in the end."

"Regardless," Vegeta breathed, some part of him understanding the concern, and trying his best to push past his own doubt for Goku's sake. He reached up and gently hugged Goku's neck. "you can't lose hope. You have to stay strong, no matter how fruitless it may seem. I won't allow you to just give up after we've come all this way. I'll be right here with you."

Goku smiled softly. "...You really are the best, Vegeta."

"The best?" Vegeta returned the gesture. "That's my line."

You're braver than I ever was.

"I love you…" Goku tightened his grip on the smaller man.

"...I love you too… Just remember your part, okay? What did I tell you before?" Vegeta moved back so he had his hands on Goku's shoulders, holding them tightly for security. He looked him in the eyes with an intense gaze.

"To tell the truth?" Goku responded after a moment.

"…That's right. That's all you have to do." Vegeta said.

"What if I mess up?" Goku murmured.

"You won't." Vegeta said.

"I'm afraid I'm going to forget stuff..."

"I told you before, as long as you can remember the majority of it, you'll be fine. Don't allow his lawyer to intimidate you. Don't allow him to intimidate you. If he tries anything, the police will stop him. And if they don't, then I will." Vegeta vowed.

Goku was unsure, but he ended up nodding. "Okay."

After a moment, Vegeta kissed him. It was soft, but filled with the love and affection Goku so desperately needed and wanted right now.

…

The first day was just jury duty, so there wasn't a lot to be done on Goku's part. That being said, it wasn't any easier walking into the courtroom that morning.

He had to once again see the face of the man who had been haunting him in his nightmares for so long, the person who had destroyed him and his ability to trust in others. He was terrified. No matter how many times he had prepared for this day, he still wasn't sure how he would be able to handle himself, if he would be able to.

As they approached the court room, He quickly found himself unbuttoning his shirt slightly, and loosening his tie, as it suddenly felt more constraining than he'd have liked, especially knowing he'd have to wear such clothes all week.

"Don't worry. He's not there yet. We'll let you know when he comes in. Come on." Harl whispered before he and Alex led Goku into the room and over to his seat. They had gotten him some extra fidgets that he could play around with while he was there, including a fidget spinner.

Vegeta was already sitting in the seat behind him.

The two watched in silence as the people around them interacted. Goku bounced his leg up and down, and drummed his fingers on his knees, playing around with his fidgets, anything to avoid having another panic attack.

Briefly, Sarla introduced Goku to the defense attorney, a middle aged man named Berg. Berg didn't say much outside of a formal hello. He did offer to shake his hand, which Goku surprisingly found himself accepting, if only to be polite. Afterwards, the lawyer walked off again and Goku didn't pay him much mind.

Finally, Harl tapped on his shoulder. "Okay, he's coming in. He's allowed to wear normal clothes for this so you won't see him in prison attire."

Goku didn't respond but kept sparing glances at the doorway they said he would be coming in from. A minute later, that man - Allan - entered the room, sitting down next to Berg but surrounded by several cops.

Allan was a well-built man, but was a lot older looking than Goku had remembered. His hair had a slight tent of brown in it, although it was mostly gray now. Goku barely even recognized him.

Allan didn't look his way, so Goku was able to quickly turn his attention elsewhere.

Vegeta, however, took in every single detail about the man. He had to have been at least in his sixties. There were bags under his eyes and his face was starting to wrinkle slightly from age.

So that's the bastard who hurt Kakarot…? How repugnant.

No, his thought wasn't about his age, it was about the smug uncaring expression on his face. He gave the air of somebody who simply thought he was above consequences.

That being said, at such an age, he should have known better than to do what he did.

It would be better for everybody if I just put him down now. Obviously, he's not going to change.

Without even thinking, cold fury completely consumed his mind now that he was faced with seeing the man who had defiled his lover and the best friend had ever had. He started to get up, only one thing on his mind.

Revenge.

He wanted to murder the man who had caused Kakarot so much torment.

His scars.

His panic attacks.

The nightmares, all those times he woke up in the middle of the night crying and tore his body to pieces because he didn't know how else to deal with the pain.

The reason he keeps starving himself.

His fear of being touched, of being loved.

All of that was because of that monster.

…I'll make him suffer for what he did…

My Kakarot… I won't ever allow him to hurt you ever again.

Right as he got up and was about to started to walk off towards Allan, however, a hand grabbed his. It was Goku's, the man's grip more firm than ever.

At that moment, their eyes met.

"Let go of me."

It was one of those times that Vegeta had no choice but to use telepathy again.

"Don't do this, Vegeta..." Goku's eyebrows furrowed in response, already fully aware of what he was planning.

"Why shouldn't I? He hurt you. And he's probably done it to others as well. Your prosecutor even said that, remember?"

"I know that… But killing him isn't the answer…"

"You're forgetting something… I'm not like you. All of this will be over if I just-"

Vegeta started to resist, but Goku strengthened his grip even further.

"No, stop it, Vegeta, please."

Upon hearing his plea and seeing the pain in Goku's eyes, Vegeta's breath hitched, a lump forming in his throat. He wanted nothing more than to do away with that man right then and there, at the very least hurt him, and break every bone in his body, but Goku didn't want that. Of course he didn't.

After a long time, the prince gritted his teeth to fight off the tears in his eyes before finally sitting back down.

Truthfully, he could use telepathy in that moment to speak to Allan if he had wanted to, to give him a threat that would knock the fear of death into him, but he begrudgingly chose not to. Kakarot would probably figure it out if he did.

…

Jury duty was extremely boring and the process dragged on for hours, as each person introduced themselves one by one, talking about their careers and confirming if their availability would be an issue. Sarla and Berg asked each individual questions, and various people they had to replace due to uncertainties about whether or not they would be able to be impartial when making their judgements. Most of the potential biases were based on the simple matter of this being a sexual assault case, but also other factors to be considered like not only Allan's age, but suicidality and mental health issues as well.

When lunch time came around, the jury made their exit, followed by Allan and Berg.

Alex and Harl then gave Goku the option to go to the break room to take an hour to himself. Alex chose to make an order for pizza so Goku would have something to eat.

Vegeta, meanwhile, ended up going to the room with Goku with the permission of Harl and Sarla. He sat down next to Goku on the couch, neither one of them saying much of anything at first.

"Thanks for earlier…" Goku mumbled after what felt like a long time. "For not trying to kill him, I mean…"

"Yeah, well… I probably would have if you hadn't stopped me… But… I highly doubt you would have forgiven me if I had, so… I didn't… want to risk what we've built… for that… I just… I can't forgive him for what he did to you, Kakarot… I refuse to." Vegeta clenched his knees. "Do you think I'm selfish for that…?"

"No…" Goku hesitantly grabbed his hand. "It's just cuz you care about me, so…"

Vegeta allowed himself to return the gesture, before slightly diverting the conversation.

"...How do you feel, anyways?" Vegeta asked. "You just saw the face of the man who raped you, so surely it must… bother you, right…?"

Goku looked down at the ground. He hadn't met Allan's eyes once today so was an answer to that even possible? "I'm not sure… It's kinda weird… Some part of me is still afraid of how it's going to turn out, but… another part of me is like… I… don't really care about it… about him. The more I looked at him, I… I don't know… I've spent all this time worried over seeing him again, yet now I barely feel anything… How does that even make any sense? Is it cuz I hardly recognize him or because he's much older than I remember? I just… don't know. Even when it was happening, I didn't… really look him in the eyes much… I couldn't…"

Vegeta listened to him ramble with some understanding of what he was saying. He himself could never feel such neutrality towards the faces of his own rapists, but victims could react any number of ways when they came back in contact with their assaulters after so much time, depending on the situation and who it was.

And yet, he could tell that, down deep, Goku was getting more upset about this than he wanted to let on, maybe even more than he realized himself.

"You were also drugged, so it's understandable that you don't recognize his face very well… And regardless of how you feel right now… It doesn't make your experience any less valid…" Vegeta said.

"To be honest, I'm more afraid of how I'll feel when I actually get up on the stand." Goku pondered it.

"I'm sure you'll do just fine…" Vegeta replied in a low voice, rubbing his thumb over Goku's hand.

"Thanks… " Goku leaned closer, a small blush rising to his cheeks. "Vegeta, I… I wanna… k-kiss you…"

"W-what, right now, you mean? But we're- Oh, what the hell…" Vegeta gave in almost immediately despite how sudden it seemed.

However, right as their lips were about to meet, Alex came into the room, holding the pizza.

Vegeta quickly pulled back before he saw anything. Goku was slightly upset by the interruption, but he didn't want to let it show.

Alex decided to leave the room afterwards so Goku could be alone with Vegeta, who didn't even hesitate to scarf down some slices for himself. Goku, on the other hand, didn't touch it.

They hadn't bothered explaining the situation to him.

"Are you not going to eat any…?" Vegeta asked.

"No, I don't… think I can stomach it right now." Goku said after a long moment.

Vegeta frowned a bit, trying to think of what to do. In the end, he knew he couldn't force him, so he decided not to push it, instead just opting to eat a couple more slices for himself before closing the box. "I'll just leave the rest here in case you decide you want some later. Tomorrow, we'll bring something different that you can actually handle."

"Okay." Goku's response was barely above a whisper.

In that moment, Vegeta hoped more than anything that this whole fiasco would be resolved by the end of the week and that Allan would be locked away.

…

The rest of jury duty still continued to drag on and was actually post poned to go into Tuesday morning.

Tuesday, however, was also the day that Goku had to speak on the stand.

"You only have to do one thing. Just tell the truth."

Both Sarla and Vegeta had told him this. He had practiced for it multiple times. But it didn't stop him from being stressed out.

That morning, Goku ended up having another relapse again and he wound up with a box cutter like before. But this time, after creating several slashes in his wrist, he lost his nerve. Vegeta had told him to call for him, had pled for him to ask for help so many times.

So that's what he did.

"Vegeta…? I need help…" He cried out.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Vegeta wasted no time bursting in the in through the bathroom door. He rushed over as soon as he saw the blood and what Goku had in his hand. "Kakarot…"

He took the box cutter away immediately, Goku making no attempt to stop him.

"I'm sorry. I messed up again." Goku murmured.

"It's alright now." Vegeta didn't fuss at him. Instead, he just sat beside him and pulled his lover into his arms. He hugged him and practically smothered him in kisses, for what felt like hours, as if his life depended on it, because it some ways it did. After all, Goku was depending on him to guide him through this, and he couldn't be prouder that Goku called for him this time. "Do you want to talk about it? If not, I'll just stay here, until you're feeling better…"

He knew he asked that question a lot, but it was necessary all the same, no matter many times this happened.

"...What if he gets away with it…? What if his lawyer says that I consented and they believe him? I'm so scared right now…"

"It's going to be okay." The prince said to him, trying his best to offer reassurance and comfort, the kind that he actually needed. "All of this will soon be over."

But they both knew that what he said wasn't entirely true. It never was. The memories would still continue to haunt him. Trauma like this didn't just go away, but it would at least fade over time and become more manageable. It already had somewhat.

…

Sarla's opening statement rehashed all sorts of feelings Goku had been trying to forget.

"He lured him to his apartment, gave him his prescription drug pills, and after Goku was hardly even responsive, the defendant proceeded to strip him, and sodomized him, both anally, and orally, for four hours. Goku, at this time, he had just divorced his wife, and was still having an incredibly hard time dealing with the arguments that still often arose between them. He left his house that day with plans to commit suicide. Goku was emotional. He was vulnerable, and he was in pain. The defendant saw this and he took advantage of that. He took advantage of his trusting nature. He drugged him, and then assaulted him, over and over and over again."

Goku didn't know why, but as she had started talking, he suddenly pulled himself into his shirt, as if he were ashamed, wanting more than anything to hide his face from the eyes around him, people in the jury and others.

His shoulders shook, his breath hitching as he failed to stop the tears from falling his face, stifled sobs escaping his lips one by one. He felt so small, and the court room felt even smaller.

Everybody in there knew. They were judging him. They had to be.

"It's okay… All of this is on him. Nobody else." Vegeta whispered, embracing him from behind. His hold on him was firm yet comforting. Goku melted in his warmth, but was still shaking.

Goku had no response. He could feel Vegeta's heartbeat against his back which was pounding in his chest a mile a minute.

Unlike Sarla, Berg chose not to do an opening statement.

Krillin was one of the first ones to be called to the stand, but, due to how stressed out Goku was getting, Alex and Harl suggested he step outside for a while, so he ended up missing what was said.

It was probably for the best. Goku hadn't even wanted ones like Chichi or Bulma coming, so he had asked them not to. There was something uncomfortable about the idea of this stuff being talked about in front of or by too many familiar faces. It made him feel vulnerable and he didn't like that. Vegeta was the rare exception. The one person that he actually wanted to be in there with him. The one who had been by his side throughout every step of the way.

In many cases, the defense attorney was allowed to stop witnesses from talking with other witnesses or seeing what was being said, to keep their testimony uninfluenced, so in some ways he was lucky that Vegeta had been permitted to be in the room with him.

Goku couldn't be more grateful for that.

…

When Goku came back in, Fran went up to testify.

Goku had apparently been a bit more out of it than he had remembered because she had a video recording from that night. His voice in it was groggy and noticeably slurred, at least compared to how he usually was.

Fran testified that his behavior that night was very different from all the other times she had spoken with him and confirmed that she could tell that he was under the influence of something. There were certain parts of their conversation he just hadn't even remembered. In fact, as it turned out, him not responding much was exactly why she chose to wait until some days later to interview him.

Vegeta had certainly noticed it from fairly early on, but hadn't bothered commenting on it. Overall, he had been far more concerned about the rape, suicidal thoughts and the self-harm at the time.

Whatever the defense attorney asked Fran, Goku tuned this part out. He was too overwhelmed to fully concentrate and some of the conversations between the attorneys and the witnesses were boring to listen to, he didn't even understand some of the things they were talking about, and there were so many words he didn't recognize.

He just wanted this to be over.

…

Once Fran was done being cross examined by Berg, everybody was dismissed for lunch, Goku was told he'd have to go up afterwards.

Alex bought burgers, but Goku refused to touch them. Vegeta had fortunately thought to bring soup and a protein shake with him, though, so, thankfully, Goku did at least eat a few bites of something this time even if it wasn't a lot.

Vegeta did everything he could to offer him reassurance again, to tell him that it was going to work out. But some part of him suddenly wondered if he was saying that for himself or for Goku.

…

When Goku finally took to the stand, he found that he was surprisingly calmer than expected. He was still nervous, of course, but Sarla was understanding.

Most of the questions she asked were the same ones she always did, the ones he had practiced with, before she finally finished her direct examination off with, "How has this trauma affected you?"

"I'm… afraid of… being taken advantage of again, so… even… with the person that I like, I-It scares me…" Goku trailed off after that, not wanting to say anymore. How was he supposed to put that into words?

There were so many other things he failed to mention. Like nightmares and the self-harm. He was too upset to think of it at the moment.

…

After Sarla was done, Berg took his turn on asking Goku questions.

Fortunately, he wasn't rude.

There was even a point where Goku got super stressed and Berg told him, "I know this is hard for you to talk about, so you don't have to go through the whole story…" which actually surprised a lot of people.

Although he was briefly scolded by the judge to keep things at specifically yes or no questions, he only really asked a few.

"You've said before that you've done a lot fieldwork, correct? Growing vegetables and picking weeds, mowing the lawn, etc, yes?"

"Yeah, I had to sometimes, for my family." Goku said.

"So you are capable of holding up a job if you try to, right?"

"Y-yeah."

"And you're a martial artist too, correct? Like you've been trained to defend yourself if somebody were to try to hurt you?"

"That's…" Even if he had been drugged, Goku felt a pang of guilt and self doubt with that one. He couldn't deny it. "Yes…"

"When he gave you the sandwich, do you recall him kissing you on the hand?"

"I…" Goku paused, his ears heating up out of humiliation, feeling a bit guilty that he had forgotten. Some part of him wanted to deny it, deny how stupid he had been, but he couldn't bring himself to now that it was brought up. He did now. And he had mentioned it once before, in his interview with Fran. "Vaguely? I remember something about it, but… I thought he was just being friendly, at least that's what I wanted to believe, anyway. I mean… Isn't that something… anybody can do? I don't know… I don't really understand those things…"

"Do you remember helping him untie your obi?" That too was something Goku had forgotten to mention in Sarla's direct examination, but Berg didn't hesitate to ask about it.

"Yeah um…" Goku rubbed harshly at the bandage on his wrist, reopening it and some of the cuts, causing blood to seep out. "He started snapping at me and told me to untie it, so I did… Even though I was uncomfortable with it."

Berg mumbled something to himself, before finally replying, "That's all the questions I have…"

…

Vegeta was called to testify next.

Most of the first questions had ended up being about Goku's behavior the day of the assault and the side effects of the drugs.

But then it got into some more personal matters.

"In all the time that you've been with Goku, would you agree that he often tends to confuse romantic and sexual gestures with that of somebody being friendly? Or that he has trouble picking up on certain social cues that others would have no trouble recognizing?"

"Yes, I would actually." Vegeta said. "He doesn't… perceive those things in the same way others do. Somebody could be flirting with him and he wouldn't even realize it. That's why, if he heard, "you can come rest in my bed", he would assume it to be exactly what he said, rather than an invitation for sex. Even if somebody kissed him on the hand, that too might be perceived as, as you put it, a simple matter of being friendly, unless it were with a romantic partner like myself."

"I've noticed before in some of the interviews that Goku has expressed some uncertainties about his abilities to stand up to people when in a situation like that. If somebody was making advances on him that he wasn't comfortable with, do you think he would be the type to fight back?"

"No, I don't…" Vegeta trailed off for a moment. "From what I know of him, he usually freezes up and shuts down when he's in a situation that he's uncomfortable with regarding intimacy. He might say something, but if they ignored him, chances are he'd be more likely to hurt himself before he even thought of lashing out at another over it."

"You were aware of the strained relationship between him and his ex-wife Chichi, right?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me a little bit about that?"

"It… wasn't healthy… It still isn't…" Vegeta hesitated. "When they're… around each other for too long, they often get into arguments, over just about anything. She yells at him and sometimes…, he retaliates by yelling back… But he doesn't deal with conflicts like that very well, so he broke it off."

"...And how would you say he was coping with that? The divorce, I mean? Or did you notice anything?"

Vegeta reflected on it, trying to give the best answer he could provide. "He'd… often come to my place to get away from it all, so I could tell it bothered him, but he isn't really the type of person who would talk much about what he's feeling. If he was suicidal, he'd bottle it up then act on it in the spur of the moment. He did the same thing in the past." Of course the last statement was vague, but Goku knew what he was referring to, that he still regarded what Goku did after Cell to be suicide. Because he could have come back but chose not to. He chose to stay dead. And Vegeta wasn't wrong about him bottling things up either.

He had thought about those things for a while. His sacrifice against Cell just happened to make that possible. The perfect opportunity.

"How do you think this experience has affected him?"

Vegeta had a mouthful for this answer.

"He has scars that will never go away, nightmares that wake him up and haunt him at night. I worry, constantly that he's going to take his own life, because he's told me before that he wanted to die. And he's… always afraid of being taken advantage of, of… having sex… Always questioning mine and everybody else's motives and talking bad about himself. He even has to take medication now because of this, and the self-harm… the nightmares… even the panic attacks… I will never forgive that monster for what he did to him… Kakarot was innocent and bastard destroyed him. I don't think he'll ever completely heal from this…"

Vegeta found himself crying yet again, in front of everybody. His voice was mixed with anger, frustration, helplessness, sadness and everything else in between.

After that, Sarla then handed it over to Berg, who chose not to question him.

…

Sarla, Harl and Alex praised Goku and thanked Vegeta for being a part of it, but it almost didn't feel real to Goku, that what he had been dreading for months was finally over for his part.

That night, even as Vegeta told him how well he had done yet again, kissing him everywhere he saw skin, Goku had a really hard time accepting his words, thinking constantly about the ways in which he had messed up, and all the things he had either forgotten to say, or things he could have done better.

…

Something that Goku hadn't even realized until it was brought up by Sarla was that Allan was apparently a counselor, which added an certain level of horror to the situation since he had probably picked up on the fact that Goku was vulnerable right from the beginning and intentionally took advantage of it.

"She told you to kill yourself? What a bitch… I swear, this is a fucked up world. Fucked up people. I have a counseling degree, if you ever need to talk to somebody."

It was shortly after making that discovery that he recalled Allan's words to him. Words that Goku had forgotten, but Allan had only said to gain his trust; to manipulate him.

It hurt, because Goku had wanted to trust him, without even recognizing the danger of the situation he was putting himself into.

In the end, it was this very revelation that brought back Goku's distrust of doctors all over again.

…

Over the course of the next couple days, there were others who came up on the stand, ranging from DNA analysts, the nurse who had taken his rape kit, as well as people who worked with hair and even other stuff like data from phones, and some guy who knew how to clear up audio.

His blood and urine samples were brought up too, which provided proof that he had been given four different types of medication. Only one was still in his bloodstream, one that he recognized. It was Desyrel or another name for it being Trazodone. The others, meanwhile, showed up in his urine as Quetiapine, Fioricet, and Doxipine. Two of the medications were listed on the prescription bottles as they weren't even being supposed to be taken together.

Goku only realized then that his suspicions had been right. Trazodone was the first medication he had been put on a while back. It was also one of the medications that Allan had given him. A sleep medication.

…

That evening Goku was told to decide if he wanted to see the videos the next day.

Goku didn't have the answer to that. Did he want to relive it? Did he want to be in the same room as people as they listened to him being taken advantage of, see how vulnerable and weak he had been? He wasn't sure, but some part of him didn't like not knowing, or straight up having chunks of his memories gone.

Vegeta didn't want him to relive that. In his eyes, there was no reason for Goku to have to go through that again. But at the same time, he wasn't sure what the appropriate response to such a situation was, so he left the decision up to Goku for the time being. And to be fair, Goku himself never asked him what he thought so he wasn't put into such a position of advising him against it.

…

On Friday, they were to play the videos from Allan's phone for the Jury.

Goku had been asked by Harl if he wanted to come into the courtroom or stay in the backroom while they were being played.

Because Goku still hadn't made a decision, Harl told him he'd come get him later, to stay with Alex and that he could see the video later in private. He, of course, didn't realize that they were lying to him, so he chose to stay for what felt like hours, during which he actually ended up falling asleep in the process of waiting.

It wasn't until after the videos had been played that they came back to get him and told him the truth.

When Goku was brought back to the courtroom, he kept his head bowed. He was ashamed. Disgusted in himself. He knew they were as well. They had seen it. They knew now just how weak he was.

Vegeta was disgusted, yes. He was sick to his stomach. But not at Kakarot. Never at Kakarot.

At that man- no, that filthy scum who dared call himself a human being.

Vegeta refused to believe he was one. No actual person could be that twisted.

The things he said, and the things he did were on a level of depravity that Vegeta had only seen from a select few individuals throughout his life, all others paling in comparison.

Goku's voice had been so weak and barely audible, he was even crying, telling him that it hurt, yet that snake hadn't had the slightest shred of remorse and even mocked him.

His lover had been hurt, so so badly, and treated like an animal, a play thing, a mere sex object that had had his free will torn from him, his pride trampled on.

The prince of all Saiyans was livid.

His screams of pain. His tears… I can only imagine how scared he must have been. Wanting somebody to stop it, but too afraid to call out. He could have been killed.

That bastard could have killed him…

Fingernails were embedded in his arms as he just barely maintained his cool.

Despite the bile rising to his throat and the tears in his eyes, he told himself he had to remain strong. He had to, for Kakarot.

…

When Sarla concluded her case and all the witnesses she had. It was up to Berg to put forth his witnesses.

Except he had none, at least none that chose to testify in the end.

Allan was given the option to, but chose not to.

Vegeta was revolted by the simple fact that after everything Allan had done, he was too much of a coward to say even anything or face the prosecutor, but defendants were usually encouraged not to testify and had no obligation to, so he supposed it couldn't be helped.

Not that the bastard even had a case. Ever since the videos were played, he had been noticing certain members of the jury and others in the room sending Allan disgusted looks.

They knew.

They all did.

…

At long last, with all the evidence now given to the jury, Sarla went through with her closing statement, which was very similar to her opening one, the only difference being that she added details on the proof they had and why Allan's actions should be considered to follow under the charges he was accused of.

Next up was Berg, who hadn't had an opening statement. Goku could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he began.

He started off by saying that Goku seemed like a smart person, capable of making decisions for himself, capable of holding up a job, therefore by that logic, capable of picking up on other people's intentions and knowing what he was doing when he chose to follow Allan, chose to take his pills and drugs, and chose to be there. He even said that because Goku was a martial artist, he should have been able to fight back and defend himself if he wanted to.

He made an effort to point out the fact that Allan had no way of knowing that Goku was suicidal, then even proceeded to turn it on him to say that there wasn't enough evidence to prove that it wasn't consentual, that Goku had lied about it being rape.

Goku began to lock up at the statement.

"Why would he make it up? I don't know. People have a lot of reasons to do something like that. But consider this. His ex wife, you've all heard about her by now from both Mr. Son himself and even the cop who has known him since they were children. From what we've heard, she doesn't really seem like a very pleasant woman, and I'm sorry that he has had to deal with that. Nobody should be told to commit suicide or verbally abused in such a way. But where does that come into play here? I have a theory on that. As we all know by now, Mr. Son had just had a huge argument with her, one that left him so hurt that he even considered taking his life, but for some reason or another he chose not to. He sits down on the ground and then the defendant, Mr. Allan, approaches him. Mr. Allan hears that Mr. Son doesn't feel comfortable returning to his own home, and feels bad to hear what he's been through, and out of the kindness of his heart, he offers him a bed to lay in, feeds him and gives him a drink. Him and Mr. Son smoke pot together. Mr. Son is feeling lonely because he is still hurting over the divorce with his ex-wife and the arguments they had. As such, he seeks comfort in another man, and chooses to have sex with him to fill a certain void left behind from his divorce."

"None of this shit he's spouting is true, and everybody here knows that. Ignore him." Vegeta could see Goku trembling from his anxiety.

"What better way to gain his ex-wife's sympathy and to get her off his back than to claim he was raped?" Berg continued.

Goku had started digging into his scalp to the point it was drawing blood. Alex and Harl saw this and was about to intervene, but Vegeta beat them to it.

"Kakarot, stop that. You can't hurt yourself. Use one of your fidgets… Listen… Everything he's saying is wrong." His eyebrows furrowed. "That man is lying because he has to come up with something. He has to because it's his job to defend that bastard, but I highly doubt that even he believes the words coming out of his own mouth…"

"That doesn't mean I condone the language Mr. Allan used, no." Berg said.. "But this trial isn't about his language. Understand that these are very serious charges that will follow him for the rest of his life no matter where he goes. In the videos, we never heard Mr. Son say no. He said he wasn't comfortable, that he didn't think he wanted to do it. To do what? That could mean many things. He willingly followed him to his apartment, he consented to smoking marijuana with him, he consented to taking the pills he was given, Mr. Allan certainly didn't force him to do any of this. Everything Mr. Allan told him to do, he did it, willingly. Mr. Son consented to being there. And he consented to having sex with him."

Vegeta kept Goku's hands and fingers tight in his grip, gritting his teeth as Berg continued to give his case. The lawyer went into some more bullshit reasons as to why the videos weren't enough proof of it being nonconsensual, that there were missing parts, changing the context of Goku's words and even lying about Goku's tone and mannerisms when they had been blatantly obvious that he wasn't enjoying what was happening to him; when it was obvious that he was barely conscious at points.

In the end, his argument was that it was two consenting adults, who knew exactly what they were doing and that Goku was the bad one for using his good will against him.

How somebody could pull something like that out of their ass after all the evidence they had seen put forward was beyond Vegeta.

After Berg went into the definition of quasi forcible indecency and tried to find a way to alter it to his own benefit, he finally concluded his closing statement.

The jury was then sent to a backroom to conclude their decision.

Goku sat in his seat, more anxious than ever. He was no longer clawing into his head, but Vegeta had chosen to embrace him as he had so many other times that week.

"You're so amazing, Kakarot. You stood your ground and pressed forward no matter what happened. I'm so proud of you."

Vegeta was proud of Goku and he would say that as many times as he had to.

But Allan was another matter entirely. Vegeta already had it in his mind that if this didn't work out, then he would kill the piece of shit without hesitation.

It took about thirty minutes before a unanimous decision was made.

They had found him guilty and were soon sent out of the courtroom, given permission to now speak to one another about the case and whatever else.

The judge then gave Allan a sentence.

That sentence was ten years. Ten years for a crime that would have likely received a much longer sentence had Goku, one, not been drugged and two, if he had been female. (Yet, even then, many of those cases didn't always go to trial, succeed in the end or get a good sentence either, because the justice system was flawed.)

Berg attempted to get that sentence reduced even further by bringing up Allan's age and saying he had never done anything like this before, that his record prior to this was clean.

Sarla interjected, stating that Allan had completely denied knowing Goku three times until he found out they had his DNA. She went on to explain that he also had recordings on his computer of other victims. In one of the videos was a woman even, one who was naked and completely unconscious as he was pinching her nipples.

After this, the judge kept his sentence and stated that Allan was to never approach Goku or his family or make any attempt to contact them ever again.

When everything was over, the judge spoke to Goku briefly and said only one thing:

"Mr. Son, I want you to know that was very brave of you."

Goku could only smile sheepishly in response.

One of the bailiffs had even said that Goku was a hero, but Goku didn't really feel that way considering that Allan would get out in ten years and could continue doing what he wanted. Whether this went down on his permanent record or not wouldn't change that.

…

As a reward for making it through the trial, Alex bought Goku tacos this time. Goku ate a few bites of one but discarded the rest. There were a lot of other tacos left over which he gave to Vegeta and said Trunks and Bulma could have them if they wanted them.

Goku then proceeded to ask Sarla if he could look at the videos or the video transcript after all, but, much to Vegeta's relief, she said no because the stuff had already been put into evidence.

Whether that was entirely the truth or if they were just trying to protect him, Vegeta didn't know, but in this case, he found a lie preferable to him seeing or hearing those videos.

…

Krillin finding out about the sentence was to be expected, considering his position. Bulma found out through Vegeta. Chichi and Goten found out through her.

Goku, on the other hand, had been staying in Vegeta's bedroom constantly. All he wanted to do was sleep anymore and the medication hadn't been helping his fatigue, but it beat having the panic attacks and nightmares all the time, so he couldn't complain too much.

…

Krillin tried to come and check up on Goku. He wanted to see how he had been doing because it had been so long.

But when he knocked on their bedroom door, however, he was surprised to find that it was Vegeta who stepped out.

"What do you want?" Vegeta asked, after exiting the bedroom and closing the door behind him. He folded his arms, leaning against the wall.

"Well, I-I came to see how Goku's doing. Do you mind if I speak to him for a few minutes? It won't be long." Krillin said.

"I'm sorry. He says he doesn't want any visitors right now, so you'll have to come back some other time." Vegeta replied simply.

"Ah… I see." Krillin looked away. "He hasn't been responding to any of my messages, so I've been really worried about him… How is he… feeling?"

"He's been… He's not… doing well…" Vegeta finally struggled to admit.

"So is he… still having those thoughts, then? The ones of suicide?" Krillin wanted to know.

"Yeah." Vegeta confirmed in a low voice.

"And… the self-harm?" Krillin pressed with unease.

"Yeah." Vegeta repeated. "He's on… medication now, though, so the nightmares are at least somewhat manageable..."

"Well, that's one positive, I guess…" Krillin pondered it. "Just… let him know I said I miss him, would you…?"

"Right…" Vegeta looked away Krillin soon dismissed himself and walked off. He let out a sigh before entering the bedroom again.

Goku was on the bed with his arm hanging off the side of the mattress, piecing together a puzzle which was on the floor. "Is Krillin gone…?"

"Yeah..." Vegeta sat down next to him in the bed, playing with his hair. "He's really worried about you…"

"I know… I saw all the messages he sent me." Goku reflected, putting in one of the corner pieces to the puzzle.

"You should talk to him… and some of the others as well." Vegeta suggested.

"I dunno what to say, especially since it's been so long. I still need some more time." Goku said.

"I understand…" Vegeta pondered it.

"On the last day of the trial…" Goku started again after a while. "The detective… She told me something… She said that… If I hadn't thrown up when I did… then I might have been knocked unconscious… like the woman from the video they mentioned was. I mean… some part of me already knew that, but… still… He could have killed me…"

That had been gathered more than once, but the severity of the matter wasn't something to scoff at or take lightly.

"Maybe, but it's best not to think about those things too much…" Vegeta said. "They'll just upset you… What's important is that you're safe now, right…?"

"Yeah…" Goku uttered in response. "But in ten years, he'll get out again… It's not fair..."

"No, it's not. It's complete bullshit… The system needs to be changed. Still… When he does get out, if he ever starts causing you trouble again, just let me know and I'll be sure to deal with him myself…" Vegeta mumbled.

"I wanna move…" Goku buried his face in his arms. "Somewhere far away from here."

"What, you mean like another planet or something?" Vegeta seemed a bit confused.

"No, not that far…" Goku said. "Just… Another city or something."

"I see…" Vegeta pondered it. "Well, whatever you decide, Kakarot, I'll support you. I'll even have Bulma help find us a place. We can go where you want."

"What about your gravity chamber, though?" Goku asked.

"I'll have her make me a new one." Vegeta said.

"Another capsule, then?" Goku turned around, looking up at him.

"Yeah. Something like that. She can make repairs on it when I come back to visit." Vegeta said. "For now, though, I think you should focus more on getting better. I want you to start training again too… But only when you're ready to. That decision is yours to make, nobody else's..."

"Hey, I've been thinking…" Goku murmured.

"About what…?" Vegeta glanced over at him.

"I'd… like to go back to Lord Beerus's world if possible…" Goku said.

"...Kakarot." Vegeta wasn't entirely sure what to say to that. "Are you… really sure that's a good idea? I mean, you still don't even have a therapist yet."

"So what? I don't need one. The medication is helping me just fine. Besides, if something happens and I get upset again, I can just talk to you or…" Goku clearly wanted to say something but for whatever reason he stopped.

Vegeta begged to differ, able to tell that Goku still had many unresolved issues that he didn't want to confront or talk about. He sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get him to finish that sentence, and nor could he sway him. Seeking out therapy needed to be something Goku decided for himself. "Alright, if this is really what you want… then I won't stop you…"

"Thanks…" was all Goku said.

…

The next time Whis came out, Bulma ended up taking him out for lunch again.

Goku sat in a nearby chair, one that he had been told to sit in by Vegeta. He wasn't all there. He ignored his surroundings. Anxious. Depressed. So many different emotions under the sun.

Fear of judgment.

Because the last time he had been there, he caused Whis a whole lot of trouble and possibly almost died.

Vegeta said something, but he wasn't paying attention. In all honesty, he felt like crap. And the one thing that had been dragging him down the most was the fact that, even to this day, there were still gaps in his memories, things he didn't even remember. Things he would probably never remember.

He'd lost that chance after they locked away the evidence.

…That's when it hit him.

Whis had powers. He could show him. Or bring back his memory. Everything he had forgotten. Everything that was said and done to him. Everything he himself did.

I have to know.

…

"Are you boys ready?" Whis asked sometime later, holding a carry-out box. Fortunately, Bulma had been kind enough to supply him with enough food to share with Beerus as well so Goku and Vegeta wouldn't have to come up with something.

"You mean we can finally go now?" Goku asked, excitedly, before Vegeta even had a chance to respond.

Whis smiled. "Mhm."

As Goku grabbed hold of Whis, the angel then spared Vegeta an unreadable glance. "Are you coming, Vegeta?"

"...Y-yeah…" Vegeta said, approaching him and doing the same as Goku had, placing a hand on Whis's shoulder.

"Hold tight now." It was only a second later before Whis warped off.

…

A day later, and Goku still hadn't asked Whis about showing him what happened. He didn't really know how to broach it or ask about it. Did Whis really have such a power? He should, shouldn't he?

"Goku, I believe I just asked you a question. Don't make me repeat myself."

"H-huh?" Goku looked up to see Beerus staring at him with curious but expectant eyes. "Sorry, I kinda got distracted there for a moment, uh…"

"I asked how you've been doing." Beerus gave in and asked again anyway.

"I'm… okay, I guess. It's just… Ever since the trial, I haven't really been feeling all that great…" Goku paused, gaining a look from Vegeta. "Actually… Whis…? There's kind of a favor I have to ask of you."

"What is it, Goku?" Whis asked handing him a bowl and a spoon, which the Saiyan took after a moment.

"I… want you to show me… what happened between me and that man… The one who raped me." Goku said.

A stiffening silence settled between everybody in the room as those words left his mouth. Even Beerus seemed taken aback.

"Kakarot…" Vegeta had to take some time to process what Goku had just requested of Whis. He looked away, mumbling a response. "Listen to me… The things that monster did to you…. and said... There's no reason whatsoever that you should have to go through that again… Any of it."

Goku was just barely starting to move forward. If he were to relive that trauma, there was no telling what he might do. Vegeta refused to take the chance of another relapse.

"...I can't stand this… Even now, there are still so many gaps in my memories, things I can't remember." Goku felt tears well up in his eyes. "I need to know…"

"I have to agree with Vegeta on this one, Goku." Whis admitted. "Although I won't stop you, since it is your body and all, but-"

"You're not to show him anything, Whis." Beerus sharply interjected.

"...But why not?" Goku looked genuinely upset by this.

"Because… Knowing everything that happened may very destroy you. Can't you tell? It already has." Beerus's eyes narrowed, before grabbing Goku's wrist and pulling off his wrist cuff to reveal some fresh cuts that not even Vegeta himself had even been aware of before now. "Your body is covered in hundreds of scars and cuts like this that you created because you couldn't handle it."

"Still, I have a right to-" Goku started to argue back, which was so rare for him, especially against somebody like Beerus, but it was proof of the pain that he was in. At the same time, he was playing with fire due to the simple fact that Beerus was a destroyer god.

"Stop this right now, Kakarot." Vegeta snapped sternly, causing Goku to tense up.

Goku was quiet for a moment before lowering his head. "...I'm sorry, Lord Beerus…"

Much to Vegeta's relief, Beerus sighed, letting go of his hand. "...Yeah, whatever. Just eat your soup, already. And Whis? I want you to heal his arm."

Goku had no response when he was handed back his wrist cuff.

"Yes, My Lord." Whis replied simply, approaching the Saiyan and doing as told.

When Whis took Goku's hand, Goku turned away, guilt passing over his face as his wounds disappeared.

Whis then leaned down towards Goku, catching Vegeta's attention as he whispered something into his ear. "Just so you know... Lord Beerus didn't say what he said just now to be mean. He was trying to protect you. And if I'm being honest about it, I don't really think that's something you need to see either."

At hearing that, Goku's expression softened.

Once Whis had returned to his seat, Vegeta picked up the wrist cuff that Goku had put aside, gently slipping it back on the man's wrist. "Here…"

"Thanks…" Goku responded.

Vegeta observed him with some hesitation. "Hey… Are you going to be alright?"

Goku looked down at the armband that was covering his arm again. "...Yeah… I'm okay now. Don't worry about it."

Vegeta couldn't help it. With Goku, he had to worry. He always had to.

Still, he felt a wave of relief pass over him when he actually saw him eat.

He almost hadn't expected him to after what had happened.

…

"Lord Beerus got super mad at me earlier…" Goku said that night as they laid in bed. "I kinda feel bad now."

Vegeta, who had his back to Goku, responded. "He shouldn't have grabbed your arm like he did, but I'm sure he had his reasons for not wanting you to see that stuff, just as I do."

"...Whis said that he was trying to protect me…" Goku said. "I don't like making people worry about me so much. Chichi used to a lot as well… She still does sometimes… Just like you do…"

Another pause. Vegeta was quiet.

"I wanna get better and I'm really trying to…" Goku rubbed his wrist. "But it feels like no matter what I do, there's always something that sets me back somehow. A lot of stuff that I don't talk about with others… I feel like I'd just be a burden."

"I don't know what the others think, but you're not a burden to me, so don't say that…" Vegeta mumbled. "If you want to talk, then talk, already…"

"...I still haven't… forgotten what happened at the festival, with that guy. The one who groped me… and tried to pressure me to go with him. Every time… somebody touches me there now, I freeze up. I dunno if it's my tail scar causing it, the trauma, or just because I'm… as stupid as people say I am… but I'm always afraid of going through another situation like that… You guys were there that time to stop him… But… what if you're not in the future… and I go off with somebody after all… like what happened with him…" Even now, he still refused to speak that man's name. "I don't… want to go places anymore. Yet even at capsule corp, some of the staff there hate me, and they always give me strange looks. I guess it's because I like men… That's why that one woman got so angry at me, she called me something… I think it was… 'queer'? I imagine it must mean something like 'faggot' does…"

Vegeta's gut wrenched when he heard him use the word faggot so flippantly. He had tried to keep him from knowing but somehow he had figured it out anyway.

"A lot of people think I'm an easy target for saying that stuff to… and I guess it's true, that I don't always stand up for myself when people are saying mean things about me… but it does… hurt sometimes… I try not to let it get me down, but… it's super hard, ya know…?" Goku had to stop when he realized he had started scratching himself. "Sometimes… I even think about Raditz too… and how he lied to me… That I was naive enough to trust him… Just like I've trusted so many others and got hurt because of it. I even let down my guard around Frieza as well, multiple times… I'm starting… to think… that maybe I should get therapy, after all. Maybe then… people wouldn't have so many issues with me all the time."

"Now what do you mean by issues with you…?" Vegeta turned back around and sitting up slightly, anchoring himself on his elbow. "Maybe it's true that you've made mistakes before, sure, but you're not crazy… or insane or anything like that. You just need some help, because you're in pain. That's all…"

"You know… That man… he was also a therapist… That's what they said… That's what he said too. That I could… talk to him..." Goku clutched at the fabric of the bed, trying to calm his nerves.

"Not all doctors are like him, though." Vegeta argued weakly.

"I know… I'm just… I'm afraid of being judged… There are so many things they wouldn't understand about me." Goku looked down, uncertainty passing over his face. "I mean… I'm not even human… If they hear I used to be able to transform into some giant ape and killed my grandpa, they'd be terrified. Or they wouldn't take me seriously anymore."

As much as Vegeta hated to admit it, he had a point.

"...We'll… figure it out. For now, I just want you to get some rest…" Vegeta twirled Goku's hair in his fingers. "Deal?"

"Alright..." Goku nodded. "Good night."

Vegeta moved the hair aside and kissed him on the forehead, causing Goku to become as red as a tomato.

"Yeah… I…" Vegeta lowered his voice, suddenly feeling shy. "I love you…"

Goku's eyes widened slightly, but then he reached out, hugging him tightly to show just how grateful he was to him. "I love you too, Vegeta…"

Another silence.

"You know… You keep… telling me to rely on you, but… when it comes to your own pain, you never really talk about that stuff with anyone. It kinda worries me sometimes…" Goku considered his words for a moment. "Even if our experiences are different in some ways… What happened to you… It also happened to me as well… at least on some level, and… I get it… Still… I've realized… that it does… help some, to talk about it, so…"

"...Those memories…" Vegeta averted his gaze. "They're not something I like thinking about… Knowing just how weak I was back then… It's humiliating…"

"Didn't you… say you were a child when it started…?" Goku recalled.

"...Yeah…" Vegeta admitted after a long moment of silence. "When I was… in the Frieza force… There were… people there… who were much stronger than I was… and I guess… they needed somebody to take their frustrations out on, so they chose me... It first… started when I was about seven… and it continued… for over thirteen years… But then… there was this day, they decided… to get extra rough with me… and I just… snapped, because of the pain I was in..."

"What did you do to them?" Goku pressed gently. Whatever all had happened to Vegeta was apparently so traumatizing he could hardly even speak of it. Goku knew now that it was multiple people, but Vegeta still refused to give any names.

"...I killed them, Kakarot…" Vegeta's voice cracked. "I blasted their bodies until there was nothing left of them… What other choice did I have…?"

"It's… okay. You were just… defending yourself." Goku said.

"I had to…" Vegeta clutched the fabric of Goku's gi.

"I know…" Goku managed, knowing fully well that asking him for their identities was out of the question. "The ones that you killed that day…, were they the only ones who did that to you…?"

"No…" Vegeta replied, shakily. "There were… a few others as well… I just… It disgusts me… Just knowing that this blasted universe is filled with people like that... Ones who will trample over the wills of others until they destroy them. But I am not some animal, or plaything for people to screw around with… I'm a Saiyan, Kakarot…"

"Yeah… You are… And you're one of the strongest people I know…" Goku touched his cheek, a pained look on his face. "Like really strong… How'd you… even put up with that for so long…?"

"Well…, if I let one thing like that break me… then I wouldn't have survived… I simply endured what I had to…" Vegeta said.

Goku swallowed, as the reality of it all set in, and he did the only thing he could do - He hugged him, moving his hand to the back of his head to stroke his hair, which was soft and silky to the touch. "...You're really amazing, Vegeta… I know I told ya that before and all… But I mean it…"

Vegeta relaxed in his embrace, resting against his chest. "...Thanks, but I should be telling you that. You did something I never could have. Standing up… in front of all of those people - anybody for that matter - and admitting that I, the prince of all Saiyans, had been raped…? I wouldn't have been able to do that… Not like you did…"

"Still, if not for you encouraging me when you did… I wouldn't have been able to either…" Goku admitted, spooning him.

Vegeta smiled a bit, relaxing in his arms. Usually, he liked to be the big spoon, but he could accept this for now. "Heh, I guess we make a pretty good team, after all…, don't we, Kakarot…?"

"Yeah, maybe Whis was right about us…" Goku couldn't even deny it. He laughed a bit. "Hey, we should try fusing again sometime… You think…?"

"Idiot. You talk too much. Go to sleep already."

…

A/N: So yeah uh anyways. I apologize if certain stuff is rushed. This was hard for me to revisit. Once again, I have no idea if I'm going to be posting more. Maybe, if people really want me to, but I've been devoting basically every hour of every day to this haha and this one took forever. I struggled hard with it, so I really hope somebody enjoyed it, and would love feedback.