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Thank you for reading.
Chapter 34 – Raye
Serena was having a pleasant morning to herself while shopping for her dress for the wedding. As she stared at her options, she tried to decide what style she was going to go for to elope in. She smirked to herself and decided that it would have to be sexy and a pale blue to bring out her eyes.
That decided, she walked into the dress boutique and started looking around for a dress that would be perfect. Darien had convinced her to use his credit card for everything that she needed to purchase in the next week. She had smiled and kissed his cheek for his comment that everything that was his would be hers too soon enough.
She paused for a moment while looking through the racks. She then considered the thought that their relationship had become one of equals ever since they got back together. While that was true now, that hadn't been the case before the breakup. She acknowledged they were a better couple now; she just wished it didn't take that horrible breakup to make that happen. It had happened though, and she was glad they both learned something from it.
She returned to looking through the dresses and pulled out a dress in a beautiful shade of blue that would come to her mid thigh and had a beautiful sweetheart neckline. Perfect. Now, she just had to see how it looked on her.
She went into the changing room, looked in the mirror, and teared up. She had found it. She found the dress she was going to get married in. She then managed to find the perfect pair of heels to go with the dress. She went to the cash register and handed over Darien's credit card. She could barely contain her excitement.
She then exited the store and walked to her local dry cleaners. She wanted her new dress pressed and perfect for Saturday, and she was thrilled it would be ready after five the following day.
She exited the dry cleaners and almost literally ran into Raye. She froze and stared at her, not knowing what she should do. The day had been so perfect, and now she had come face to face with the person that was bringing the biggest heartache into her life right now. She straightened her shoulders and readied herself for the confrontation. She quickly decided that she had handled worse and came out on top. She could handle Raye.
Raye looked unsure of herself for a second and then rallied. "Well, if it isn't the princess herself. Where's your entourage?" She made a point of looking around. "I thought they had nothing better to do than follow you around and agree with every inane thing you have to say."
"Hello, Raye. How have you been?"
Raye scoffed, "I've been wonderful. I'm so glad I'm not expected to follow you around like the others and act like the sun shines out of your ass."
Serena sighed, "You do realize it's only you who is invested in this fight, right? I don't want to fight with you, and I want you back as my friend." Here, Serena paused and decided she would push Raye to realize how she felt. "You have all this anger, and not one of us even thinks about when you aren't around and making a nuisance of yourself. Only you are invested in any of this. And you, where are your friends? Do you even have one? We all would have remained your faithful friends if you hadn't decided to turn on me. It has to hurt that they chose loyalty to me over following you in your hatred of me. The crazy part is that I never made them pick sides. That was your decision to push them into picking, and now you're left with the consequences of it not going the way you wanted it to. Nothing you say to me can hurt me anymore; do you know that? You've already succeeded in hurting me, I despair that I have lost your friendship. So, congratulations. You won there. Move on from this and get a life, or come back and learn to be our friend again." Serena paused and said, "I just got engaged. There was a time when that would have meant celebrating with you. I'm sad that I've lost that."
Raye stood there as Serena walked away, and she didn't feel the need to get in the last word this time. Serena was hurting over what she had done, and it didn't bring as much satisfaction as she had expected it to. Maybe because Serena was right, and she didn't have any friends anymore. She was lonely, and she hated it.
Raye returned home, picked up her sword, and felt it hum and vibrate through her whole being. This time, she held on and didn't set it down right away when it began to feel warm. She slowly felt drawn towards the sword and sleepy. Her eyes drifted shut, and she let them close for a few seconds before opening them and being startled that she was looking at a vast beautiful field filled with wildflowers.
There was beauty all around her as she slowly circled around and surveyed her location. The birds were chirping, and the clouds were perfectly fluffy and white against an amazingly blue sky. She felt the sun warm her as she noticed the sword still in her hand, glinting in the sun. She then stood there and waited. And waited.
Nothing was happening.
She stared at her surroundings and huffed. She really wondered what Serena thought this was supposed to teach her. She set down her sword at her feet and closed her eyes. She was ready to be out of this beautiful place and back home. She closed her eyes and then slowly opened them.
She was still there. She couldn't figure out what was happening. She had put down the sword and nothing had happened; how was she going to get home? She began to pace, and time slowly passed.
"Hello." She heard from behind her and spun to face the person who had spoken.
"Finally! I've been waiting at least thirty-five minutes for you. Where am I, and who are you?" She demanded.
"You were waiting twenty-three minutes and forty-three seconds exactly. What's your hurry?" The man asked.
"I have better things to be doing than waiting around for you, and I asked who you are." Ray said imperiously.
"Oh, this won't do. This won't do at all. What right do you have to demand answers from me?"
"I'm Princess Raye of Mars, the rightful Sailor Mars. I am the owner of that sword." She pointed at the sword laying at her feet. Surely since the sword brought her there, it must be known to this man standing in front of her.
He drew her attention back down to where she had pointed and asked, "What sword?" At her feet, the grass was now bare. The sword was gone, and she gasped.
"How am I going to find my way back home now without the sword?" Raye fretted.
The man shook his head, held out his hand, and showed her the sword was in his grasp. "Do not fret. Here is the Sword of Mars."
"How did you do that? And what the hell is your name?" Raye was growing impatient with the man.
"Raye, you're asking all the wrong questions." He lifted the sword and pointed it at her heart. "Your heart has grown calloused. Tell me why that is."
Raye looked annoyed. "Like I would tell you anything! You haven't even told me your name. You have no right to know what's going on with me."
"That's too bad for you then that I already know everything. I just wanted you to think about your actions." He told her. He turned and began to walk away.
"Wait!" Raye yelled. "What are the right questions?"
He paused and turned to look at her. "Ask yourself what caused your heart to be so calloused."
Raye huffed and looked at the sword. "And then you will give my sword back?"
"You cannot really possess this sword. It's the Sword of Mars, and it belongs to no one but him."
"But, it was given to me." Raye insisted. She wanted it back, she didn't like to share her things.
He looked at her and held out the sword to her. "Feel the edge, but be careful."
She touched the edge and felt that it was very sharp. "How is that possible? It was dull when I got it."
"It's because I am holding it. If I handed it back to you, it would be dull again. You aren't ready to wield it, and it knows that." He brought the sword back down to his side.
"So, what do I have to do to get it to be sharp?" She asked.
"I already told you that you need to be asking the right questions." He stepped towards her and stopped within arm's length of her. "Are you ready to stop resisting, or are you going to waste my time like you have wasted your own?"
"I don't know why my heart has grown calloused. I'm not even sure it's calloused like you say it is." She admitted to him.
"Do you love anyone other than yourself?" He asked her, frankly.
"Yes! Of course, I do. I love my grandfather!" She grew defensive.
He laughed in her face and shook his head, "You love him because he always says yes to you and gives you your way. You don't truly love him. When is the last time you even spoke to him about anything that didn't involve how you were feeling or what you wanted?"
"Don't talk about things that you know nothing about!" She stomped her foot and glared at him. "I talk to him all the time!"
"My question stands." He waited.
She thought.
Her face looked pained and she continued to think about his question. When was the last time they talked about something not directly involving just her? … There had to be some time lately when that happened. "I just can't think of a time when I'm on the spot like this."
"I can leave and give you time. I really don't mind." He paused. "Or, I can give you the answer. It has been six months two weeks four days one hundred fifty-seven minutes and three seconds exactly. You noticed he was struggling to catch his breath, and you asked if you could help him with his chores for the day. You did. He was grateful for the help."
"Surely it hasn't been that long!" She racked her brain to prove him wrong.
He sighed and stated, "It has been that long, and you haven't noticed he is ill. He's afraid to tell you because he loves you too much to worry you. His heart is enlarged, and he worries about dying and leaving you behind." He shook his head.
"I would have noticed if he was sick!" She insisted.
"You're selfish. You haven't noticed."
"No!" She really wanted him to be wrong about her and about her grandfather.
"That's where you start."
"What?" She was puzzled by his statement.
"Your grandfather is your first step to finding your way out of your selfishness. Go to him. Help him, and for once, don't make it all about you." He drew the sword and looked at it. "Take my sword with you. The next time it calls out to you, pick it up, and let it bring you here."
"Wait! You are Mars?!" She exclaimed, surprised. "What else do I need to do?"
"Yes, it is my sword, and when I call it, the sword will come to me. As for what else you will need to do, it will be a difficult process. You have not acted like a daughter of Mars for a long time now. By your fighting and creating discord, you're acting more like a daughter of my grandfather, Chaos. My father, Jupiter, destroyed him for good reason. He brought utter confusion into the world, and that does not aid in the cause of war. Sons and daughters of Mars rely on discipline. That is what causes us to excel in battle. I'm ashamed of your actions. You, who should serve Serena just as I served my father, Jupiter. We are both parts of a whole, and I am not made less by my role in this universe. Neither were you."
He began to fade away as the sword appeared in Raye's hand, "Doing your designed part brings dignity. Right now, you're only bringing shame upon yourself." And then he completely faded away.
Raye blinked then found herself clutching her sword and standing in the middle of her room with a single tear tracking down her face. She placed the sword back in the spot she had designated for it and then exited the room in search of her grandfather. She was still reeling from her talk with Mars.
By the end of the evening, she was laying in bed weeping. Her grandfather was really sick and dying, and she had no one she could call. She was feeling very alone. For the first time in a while, she admitted Serena would have known what to say to her.
She didn't notice the sword twitch in its spot. Nor did it dawn on her she was still thinking only about herself.
