I woke up when the sunrise got around to filling the inn's window, the light stabbing at the back of my eyelids. A mature adult would have gotten up around then, as much as they might not have wanted to. Would have gotten out of bed, gotten dressed, faced the day and all of that.

Me, as a rather immature twenty-seven year old, simply groaned, burying my face more into my straw pillow. The motion, or maybe the petulant noise, disturbed the woman currently spooning me. She let out a childish sound of her own, promptly pulling me back against her front so that she could use me as a shield against the sunlight.

"...ngh." I winced at the brightness once more attacking my closed eyes. "Merrill..."

"...no... lethallan." Came her own mumble. "Later."

Licking my lips, I managed to find my voice a bit. "Roll over. Sunlight."

I felt her chest heave in a tired sigh, the arm wrapped around my waist slowly pulling away. We both twisted around, hiding from the distant nuclear reaction, fixing the thin blankets as best we could. Then it was my turn to slide an arm around her slender waist, and nuzzle against the soft hairs on the back of her neck.

There was a pleased little noise that I tried to ignore as her breathing began to slow, my own following suit as we began to drift off once again.

Naturally, some bastard starting hammering on our door right around then. It wasn't anything like a polite knock either. It was full on fist slamming into the wood hard enough to make the whole damned thing rattle on its hinges.

I'm not sure whose groan was more petulant that time, but I was the one who found my voice first. "Fuck off!"

A deep voice called back, "Get your skinny ass up! Captain's orders!"

I considered that, then amended my statement. "Tell Isabella to fuck off!"

"She said you'd say that." His chuckle was loud enough for me to hear it through the door. "Said to tell you there's a crisis and to get your ass up anyway. I've got a letter you're supposed to read."

...well shit.

Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to open my eyes. The back of Merrill's head greeted me, a view that shifted as I pushed myself up to a seated position. My Dalish sister of choice curled up a little at the absence of my warmth, tugging the sheets more tightly around her. Patting her once on the shoulder, I twisted around, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

The inn we were staying in wasn't Wycome's best. Our room was pretty small, and not nearly insulated enough for the fairly mild winters of the Free Marches. Even in a long sleeved shirt and breeches it got very chilly at night, and it was cold enough that I grimaced when I got up.

Not the best inn, like I said, but the owners didn't ask questions. That had a value all of its own these days.

The cool floor was as unpleasant as I expected it to be under my bare feet, but I gritted my teeth and dealt with the discomfort. I didn't head for the door right away either. Just because I recognized the voice outside didn't mean he was actually here on Isabella's orders, or that there weren't Tevinter assassins waiting out there with him. Or Qunari ones. Or Antivan Crows who were taking their pay from either of those two to get rid of a few pirates who were screwing up their naval trade.

Reaching down, I grabbed the hilt of my sword from where I'd propped it against the bed, drawing the weapon in a single motion. The sunlight glistened on the steel, catching on the anti-magic runes that Meredith had arranged for the slender, duelist's weapon to be covered in. While they wouldn't do me much good against a regular opponent, it had saved my life against several 'Vint mages over the past year.

A quick roll of my neck and loosening of my arms had me mostly ready when I got to the door, my left hand tugging the lock free.

The door opened to reveal the only Vashoth in Isabella's crew. His name was Asler, and he was the primary helmsmen aboard the Lovely Siren. He was also better than seven feet tall, and built like a battleship. About the only thing small about him were his horns, which were almost dainty compared to the rest of him.

He grunted on seeing me, holding out a letter, not at all bothered by the steel in my hand.

He'd have answered the door in the same way, if our roles had been reversed. That was the kind of life you learned to live when you lived with pirates for more than a year. Paranoia about literally everyone became ingrained in you real fast if you were smart. If you weren't, then, well, your life wouldn't end up lasting all that long.

Bloody Thedas.

"Thanks." I said, taking it. "Where is she?"

"Downstairs." He rumbled. "Making tea. Says to read it first, then come down."

I nodded, he nodded, and then I shut the door in his face and locked it again. There was another low chuckle through the wood, then the sound of his heavy footsteps lumbering down the hall and to the stairs.

Turning around let me see Merrill slowly pushing herself up as well, shaking the blanket loose.

Two years hadn't really changed my lethallan. We'd both filled out a little thanks to an improved diet in our time with Hawke, then promptly turned that weight into lean muscle when we'd taken up with Isabella. About the only thing that had changed were our hair cuts; I'd ditched the horse-mane look I'd never liked in favor of a tomboy's pixie cut, while Merill had let hers grow out a little more.

"Who is it..." A hand covered a yawn, "...from?"

Glancing down, I read the outside. "From Varric, to Isabella. Well, this isn't going to be good if she says it's a crisis."

A quick tug pulled the letter itself out of the envelope. Tossing the latter onto the small dresser, I unfolded the longer piece of paper and settled in to read. I felt my lips pressing together almost at once, my teeth clenching not long after.

"...that bad?" Merrill asked softly, clearly noticing my expression.

"It's not good." I said, eyes still roving over the words. "Shit. Of course he had to find a lead on Bartrand in the middle of winter."

She sat up straighter at once, eyes wide. "Elgar'non. He found his brother?"

I finished reading, shaking my head. "No, just a lead, but he claims it's a solid one. He's taking Anders and Fenris, heading northeast of Kirkwall to check it out, and wants us to meet him closer to Markham. Here, you can read it."

Walking over, I passed the letter over, watching as she quickly took it in. Slightly crooked teeth appeared, nibbling at her bottom lip. "Oh. Are we going to go help him?"

"I don't see how we can't. It's Varric, and it's Bartrand." I replied. "But you know how Isabella feels about going into the Waking Sea during winter. I can't imagine her wanting to go anywhere near Kirkwall until the storms stop in the spring, if even then. That coastline has bad memories for her."

Not that I really blamed her. That narrow sea got rough come the winter months, not helped by ice building up around Ferelden's ports. This was very much not the time of year to go sailing anywhere south of Wycome, which is why we'd actually been planning on going back north soon. Back up to Rivain, to see about picking off a few more Qunari convoys near that coastline, then diving back into the chaos around Sehernon for a bit.

Where it was, you know, warm. Call me weak if you want, but I'd learned the hard way that a Ferelden winter was at least as bad a Pennsylvania one. Except, you know, Ferelden didn't have silly things like central heating. Or snow plows.

Merill chewed on her lip some more. "So... what are we going to do?"

I put my hands on my hips, thinking about it for a few moments.

There wasn't any choice about going. I might not have seen Varric in more than two years, but he was still my friend. I wasn't going to leave him to deal with his brother's whole situation without me. Especially because I honestly couldn't see how Bartrand would still be alive at this point. Not after... fuck. It had to be about three years close contact with the Red Lyrium Idol.

The awful memory of touching that thing assaulted me, as it always did when I thought about it, making my breath hitch for a moment before I could push past it.

No. Bartrand would be insane, dead in a ditch, or he'd be a pillar of red lyrium by now. Either way Varric was going to need as much support as he could get when when found his brother's corpse. Or, in the more likely scenario, he'd need our support to get over yet another failed lead.

Even if he wasn't my dear friend, it was the smart thing to do regardless. The last thing Thedas needed was someone as important as Varric Tethras being upset and unstable going into the crisis years that were coming up.

Logic and emotion, Spock and McCoy, were in alignment there. We had to go help, as unpleasant as that trip would be at this time of year.

"We go overland." I said finally. "Dip into our coin and buy a few horses or ponies, plus enough supplies to make it that far."

Merrill squirmed a little, "We can't carry the Eluvian on a pony, lethallan."

Right. That was also a problem.

Without the distractions of Kirkwall, and with the Dalish clans in Ferelden far more enthusiastic about getting a functioning Eluvian than her own clan had been, Merrill had made a lot of progress in our time there. She'd gotten more done when we'd 'liberated' a couple of Tevinter books on old Elven magic, once Isabella had translated a few sections for us. It was still inert, we didn't have the password to turn it on, but we were pretty sure it was as functionally repaired as it was going to get given her relative knowledge on the thing.

It was also damned big and heavy, and lashed down in a cabin on Isabella's ship.

"Right." It was my turn to chew on my lip, trying to think my way through that. "Well, I think we both know that Isabella's not leaving her ship. Not to go that far inland. She'd keep it safe."

My companion looked skeptical, something reflected in her voice. "Lethallan. I do love Isabella, but she really doesn't like the Eluvian. If someone broke it I don't think she'd be that upset. What did she say it looked like?"

I sighed, "The creepiest bit of furniture she'd ever seen. Point taken. You could-"

Her glare sharpened, and I adjusted before I could finish suggesting she could stay with Isabella while Fiolya and I went to help Varric.

"-I mean," I corrected myself, "We could have Fiolya stay to protect it."

A little huff told me I wasn't forgiven, but she nodded once. "I would trust her. She knows how important it is to the People, and to getting you home."

The old guilt writhed around inside of my chest. It was a pain that had gotten steadily worse instead of better the farther along Merrill had gotten with her project. The more often I heard her hopes of using it to get me home, of getting every Elf we could find to go with us to my now mythical homeland in the far north.

I still hadn't found a way to tell her even part of the truth. I had no idea how. How could I? How could I tell her, after this long, that her Eluvian couldn't take me home? That I wasn't just 'not from this continent', that I wasn't from this world at all? That I'd been born Human, and had no idea how I'd ended up an Elf when I'd been yanked her? I'd tried to sound as skeptical as possible whenever I could, but she always countered with that I couldn't know for certain that there wasn't an Eluvian near my homeland. Which was true enough that I could never really offer a counter-argument. For all I knew there was an Eluvian on Earth, and that was how Humans had gotten here to begin with.

But that was a one a trillion shot at best, and I knew it. Merrill didn't. And she wouldn't take the truth well, not after so many years together. Years I'd never told her just where I'd really come from, where I was trying to go. Especially because...

"Yeah, she does." I mumbled, shaking my head, pushing those thoughts aside. "Come on. Let's get dressed, and go see what they think. Maybe Isabella will have a different idea for us to run with."

She nodded, rising to her feet as well. The two of us pulled open our packs, yanking out thicker clothing, getting our boots out, that kind of thing. Dressing didn't take that long, mostly because we were adding layers to what we were already wearing. Merrill added a belt with a few knives on it at the end, while I buckled my sword on to my hip.

Repacking, we picked up our bags and Merrill's newest spear-slash-staff, one with actual lyrium hidden in its core, then headed out into the inn proper.

Other guests were starting to wake up, but we were still among the first to head downstairs.

There we found Asler sitting with several other members of the ship's crew, munching happily on toast, their table not-so-coincidentally protecting the approach to the one Isabella was sitting at in the corner. She wasn't alone, Fiolya was with her, both of them sipping from lightly steaming cups of tea.

Two more of the cups were already down, and clearly waiting for us.

I took in the pair of them as we walked over, reflecting on how they'd changed over the last two years. Not really physically, although Fiolya had gained a final half inch of height or so, and let her dark hair grow out into a short style similar to mine.

No. Their changes were all in how they moved. Carried themselves. Spoke.

The Isabella of Kirkwall had always been on edge. Perfectly aware that she was a hunted woman. Always carrying the weight of her lost ship, her dead crew, on her shoulders.

The new Isabella was free of that tension, of that pain. She was more relaxed. Her smiles more genuine, her laugh quicker to come out.

Still terrible at flirting that wasn't hilariously blatant though, something I never ceased to tease her about.

Fiolya was similar. The pain of what her parents had put her through would never entirely go away, but a year with Hawke, and now more than a year with Isabella, had given the teen role models who she'd done her best to learn from, to emulate. There was a quiet confidence to my squire that left her bolder, quicker to speak up and argue, to jump into the kinds of scraps we always got pulled into.

"Morning." I said, pulling out a seat for Merrill, letting her settle in before I took the one to her right. "Thanks for the tea."

Isabella yawned around a sip of her own, "Figured you'd need it after Varric's letter."

I sighed, warming my hands around the cup. "Yeah. I know what you're going to say, but you know I've gotta ask anyway."

"I know." She said, her voice gentle but firm. "I'm not taking the Siren into the Waking Sea before Cloudreach. Not even for Varric. I can help you get some horses or a wagon to head inland to meet up with him and the boys, but I won't be going with this time."

It was exactly what I'd expected her to say, but it still depressed me.

Merrill was my lethallan. My sister of choice, if not of blood, but Isabella was... I wasn't sure what to call Isabella. My dearest friend? My partner in crime? My trainer in the ways of medieval piracy?

All of that. She was all of that. Splitting away from her was going to be as depressing as it had been the last time we'd parted, when we'd all left Kirkwall.

I tried to cover it up with a bit of teasing. "What if I finally let you take me to bed?"

Her lips curled on the sides. "Oh sweet thing. If that happened you'd never go back to Varric. He'd never be able to satisfy you like I could."

Fiolya and Merrill both giggled, and I couldn't stop a mild blush. "You were saving that one, weren't you?"

"Maybe." Isabella smirked. "Got your ears to redden, didn't it?"

It certainly felt like it had. I sipped tea to try and recover, which gave my squire an opening to speak.

"We'll have to leave right away to make it to them." Fiolya said, setting her cup down. "And I don't think we'll be able to take a wagon. It would be too slow, especially how many roads are probably washed out right now."

Merrill and I shared a quick look, waging a silent battle over who would tell her. My lethallan promptly pulled out her saddest expression, making me duck my head, yielding.

Fiolya noticed, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "What is it, my lady?"

Another sip of tea fortified me to say it. "We can't leave the Eluvian unprotected."

The teen blinked, then summoned up a ferocious scowl when she realized what I meant. "No. No, no, no! You're not leaving me behind!"

Isabella was pouting right alongside her, though her expression was directed at Merrill, clearly knowing who was really worried about the mirror. "Really, kitten? You don't trust me to keep it safe for you?"

Merrill shifted in her seat. "You've never come to look at it since that one time. If someone snuck into the cabin and broke it, would you even notice before we got back?"

The pirate pursed her lips. "It's hardly my fault that it's so... creepy. Can't you do something about that before you leave?"

"I don't think so." Merrill replied, taking the question seriously. "From what I read in the Tevinter books, the Eluvians just have that kind of effect on non-Elves. I think that's why the Magisters stopped using them to talk to one another. They were too unsettling to keep around."

"Could you, I don't know, drain it or something?" Isabella tried. "Like how Maeve puts her magic into and pulls it out of the Dream-Catchers?"

A shake of her head. "It draws its power straight from the Fade. I'm still not entirely sure how, but you'd have to break it again to stop it. It shouldn't affect the crew though. Just so long as they don't go into that room. Or if they're Elves."

Isabella considered that, sighed, and then admitted. "Then no. I probably wouldn't notice if someone broke it. I like to think I'd check on it a few times, but that thing makes my everything stand on end when I look at it."

Lifting her little chin in triumph, Merrill turned to Fiolya whose pout was only growing more severe.

"Please, da'len?" Merrill asked, pleadingly. "You know how important the Eluvian is to the People. What we can do with it, as soon as I find the key."

Fiolya shook her head. "So why don't you stay with it, keep working on it, and Maeve and I will go help Varric."

"I'm not leaving her." Came the quick response. "Every time I leave her she gets hurt."

I huffed. "Not every time."

"Yes, lethallan." Merrill gave me an absent pat on the arm, not so much as looking away from the other girl. "Fiolya, please."

My squire squirmed a little at desperate tone, then jumped a bit in her seat in time with a quiet thump. I flicked my eyes to Isabella to see her poker face firmly fixed in place, but I was sure she'd just stomped on the girl's foot.

I fought the urge to glower at her, knowing exactly what she was up to. Knowing why she wanted Fiolya to let Merrill and I go off together, without anyone else.

"...fiiiiiine." Fiolya turned the world's into the world's longest groan, slumping back. "I'll stay behind and keep the Eluvian safe, but you owe me! You really owe me!"

Merrill beamed. "Of course I do, and I'll make it up to you. Promise."

The girl mumbled something, picking up her tea again. Isabella rubbed her shoulder, grinning. "Come on. Won't be so bad to spend a couple months with me, now will it? We'll do a few pub crawls with the crew, maybe sail a bit up the coast and find some sunlight. Think about how miserable these two will be in the rain and snow."

Fiolya perked up a little. "That will be nice, I guess. How long do you think you'll be gone, lady?"

Bringing my cup to my lips, I gulped down some more of the hot liquid, buying myself some time to try and do the math.

"Varric says they'll be waiting for us west of Markham, at the base of the Vinmarks." I mulled it over. "We'll take the coastal road to Hercina, then cut west to Markham, try and find him from there. Really wish his letter had more details in it, because I don't know where he'll want to go from there. Isabella, how long of a trip you think that would be?"

"A couple weeks." She replied. "Depends on which direction you go from there."

And how long it would take to find Bartrand, or whatever was left of him, or however long it would take Varric to give up chasing ghosts.

I tapped a finger on the table, thinking about it. "Figure two months to be safe. I'm not going to ask you to stay in Wycome that long, and the seas should start clearing up by then."

Isabella frowned at that. "You're not saying you'll go back to Kirkwall?"

"I don't especially want to." I admitted, "But it's the obvious place to meet up again once we're done out in the countryside. We can stay at Varric's place, keep our heads down, and let Fiolya visit her old friends for a bit when you get there."

Said squire smiled. "I'd like that."

Doing some more math, I nodded again. "How about we plan on meeting in Kirkwall by Summerday? We'll spend the holiday there, meet up with old friends, then get out before the place can drag us into too many of its crazy problems. If Varric drags things out we should only need to be in the city for a month or so."

"Mmhmm." Isabella made the hum sound skeptical. "And when you get dragged in anyway, sweet thing?"

"We still leave as quickly as possible." I said bluntly. "I don't want to get caught in that tinderbox of a city when it explodes again, so please don't be late coming to get us."

She held her hands up, "I won't, we'll be there. I promise."

"Thank you." I replied. "So. Sounds like we've got our plan. Merrill and I will load up on supplies, find some horses, and plan on leaving at this time tomorrow. Are you staying on shore or heading back to the Siren?"

Isabella tapped a finger on the side of her cup. "We'll stay ashore one more day, give you a proper send off party tonight. We'll see you off in the morning, then I'll probably sail a bit north to see what fun there is to be had one more time. Then we'll linger until the seas clear, and meet you in Kirkwall."

Merrill smiled, "One last party sounds wonderful. You'll both stay safe, won't you?"

"We'll be fine, kitten, don't worry." Isabella grinned, sliding an arm around Fiolya's shoulders, drawing the younger woman against her side. "I'll keep this one safe for you. Maybe get her a proper pirate's tattoo like she wanted."

I chuckled at the girl's embarrassed expression. "So long as it's classy. Don't let her get you drunk first or you'll sober up to find a pair of tits drawn in ink somewhere you'd rather they not be."

"I would never!" Isabella squawked.

"You would." Fiolya and I said in unison, making Merrill descend into giggles.

Isabella tried to pout, but her smirk quickly ruined the effect, leaving us all to laugh. We bantered more over our tea, eventually getting around to ordering a proper breakfast. It was a meal we dragged out with even more conversation, talking about everything except for the fact that we would soon be parting for three months.

Three months wasn't much by the standards of Thedas... but this world had a way of ruining our plans in the most spectacular way possible.

I could only pray that we'd deal with Varric's quest quickly, get in and out of Kirkwall with a minimum amount of chaos, and then flee back to the tumultuous safety of the high seas.

Where, all too soon, Merrill would get her Eluvian working, and...

...and I would have to be there when she realized that it couldn't bring me home.