Chapter 14: First glance
Chapter 14: First glance
"How many is that now?" Angela asked glancing at the new scar at the back of Bella's left arm as she put her sweater back over her head.
Bella hadn't been back for about two weeks, Sam had apologised profusely for Paul via text message and had told her to come back when she was ready.
"I've lost count to be honest." Bella murmured in an attempt to relieve the tension.
"Bella," she started, "you only get hurt around them."
She sighed, "It was an accident, we were fine for over two months, Angela."
She gave her a stoic look, "He basically lured you to the top of a cliff, goaded you into jumping down from it and failed to mention that it was so high, most of his jacked-up friends don't even jump from it."
Bella blushed slightly in response, "I know, I know. I shouldn't have done it."
"For the record, I'm still blaming him more than I blame you."
Bella smiled guiltily, she couldn't tell her that, yes Paul had goaded her but her final decision to jump had been made once she had seen Edward's shadowy-self glaring down at her like she was a petulant child.
"Why do you keep hanging out with them?" Angela asked, leaning her head against her hand, "Do you even like them?"
"I like some them." Bella shrugged, "Leah and Emily are always nice, and Leah's brother Seth is nice too."
"What about Jacob? Is he still acting like a dick?"
Bella laughed, "No, he went back to his usual self a couple of weeks ago."
"Took him long enough."
Bella smiled, wishing she could tell her friend everything, just for once.
Later that night Bella kept thinking about the reservation, she didn't know if she wanted to go back but knew it would probably be the right thing to do for everyone. She sighed as she closed the fridge and started cleaning the kitchen. Charlie wouldn't be home for another few hours, so she was making yet another lasagne when something rang in her head, making her head snap up. The backyard was getting dark eerie, the sun had gone down about an hour ago.
She put down the knife in her hand with shaking hands, placing both of her hands on the counter in front of her so she could peer out the window better, frowning as she tried to stare into the vast darkness of the tree line, freezing when she swore she noticed something, someone move at the edge of the backyard. She wondered briefly if it could be Jacob or one of his friends, but squashed that thought when she realised they wouldn't be watching her in their humans forms.
"Hide." Edward's voice whispered from behind her, she swore she could almost feel the faintest brush of cold hair as he whispered, making her turn around just a tad too fast. His shadowy-self was staring down at her with panicked eyes and a clenched jaw. His eyes flickering from her face to the window behind her.
She reached for her phone in her back pocket when the person, placed a hand against a tree and took a step closer, their pale skin almost lighting up under the faint moonlight. Her heart started pounding when she didn't recognise the man standing at the edge of the garden. She shakily rang Jacob's number whilst running upstairs, moving to the window in Charlie's room to get a better view, praying he wouldn't have moved but knowing full well that if he wanted to, he would be inside of the house within mere seconds. For the first time she was mostly aware that she was running faster than should have been possible for any other human. Her heartbeat slightly elevated, her eyes wide and her grip on the doorknob so firm it groaned with frustration.
She tried to sum up the facts in her head before she reached her phone, she could tell it was a man, staring at her with a smug smirk on his face. He had short, brown hair and seemed almost ridiculously tall as he cocked his head in her direction as if he was mocking her. She swore she could notice his red eyes from Charlie's bedroom window even though he was way too far away.
Her phone rang a few times before Jacob picked up, her hands shaking and her palms tingly with cold sweat.
"Bella, I'm glad you finally called. I wanted to ask you if-"
"You need to get here, now!" She hissed into the phone, panic clearly noticeable in her voice. She didn't want the vampire in the backyard to hear her. She eyed Edward's form, hovering close to her now, almost as if he would be able to jump in and save her from whatever was going to go down. She wondered if she was ever going to see his form again when she wasn't panicking, in danger or emotionally unstable.
"What's going on?"
"There's a vampire in the backyard."
"What?! Do you-"
"I don't know who he is, I've never seen him before all I can tell you is that he's just standing there, he has red eyes and he's just staring at me through the window."
"We're on our way." He panted, already running, shouting for everyone else to join him. "Don't go to him, don't let him in."
"Do you really think I'm just going to let him in? If he wants to get in he would just rip-"
The phone turned off at that point.
"Jacob?" She murmured, her heart pounding painfully in her chest, her palms feeling sweatier. "Shit." She cursed taking a few steps back to turn off the light, although she knew he could still see her perfectly fine even without the lights on, she could also still see him without a problem. His smirk mocking her, waving at her.
Her hands were shaking but she refused to let him out of her sight. Making herself believe that if she could still see him, everything would be okay, he couldn't hurt her if she could still see him standing at the back of her yard. He wasn't moving, which was good, so far.
She felt like she was going to throw up and cry at the same time when she could sense the wolves were near. Since when can I sense they're near? She wondered, her own voice sounding frantic in her mind whilst a sigh of relief escaped her as the man froze with fear and darted between the trees, being followed by a hoard of giant, angry wolves. One of them, Leah she realised, turned around to eye her through the window. Moving her head down in an almost comforting nod, before chasing after the rest of the pack.
Once they were all out of sight, she waited a full thirty seconds before she ran into her room and collapsed against the door in a heap of panic. Hands shaking, chest heaving, heart pounding painfully and hot tears streaming down her face. She clasped her head between her hands and gasped for air, she felt like her chest wasn't getting enough air. I'm having a panic attack, she realised.
Edward's shadowy form crouched down in front of her again, his eyes softer than she had seen on his shadow-form before, his hand clasped together as he looked at her with intense eyes. "Breathe."
She grabbed her phone and dialled Angela's number with shaking hands, whilst never breaking eye contact with him. She didn't know whether his presence was helping her or making the pain in her chest worse. The always present crack between her ribs aching more and more as he kept looking at her.
"Hey Bella, what's up?"
She gasped a few times before answering, "Angela, I need you tell me what to do when you have a panic attack."
"Are you okay, Bella? What's going on? Do you need me to come over? I can-"
"Angela," she interrupted her, "please just tell me what to do."
"Are you sitting or lying down?"
"Sitting."
"Try to slow down your breathing."
"How do I do that?"
"Try to breathe in slowly through your nose, and out through your mouth. Try to count to five whenever you breathe in and out. Closing your eyes might help too, although I guess that depends on the person."
Closing her eyes, she realised she had still been looking at him the whole time. Once her heartbeat no longer felt like a sledgehammer banging against her already bruised ribs, she opened her eyes again. Right about the time someone knocked on the front door. The noise ringing in her head like she had been pressing her ear against the front door downstairs. Is this what it was always like for them? She wondered.
"Don't open the door, Bella." Edward said sternly. Her eyes flashing open, he was now standing in front of her bedroom door as if he could block her from going downstairs, as if she couldn't see the door behind him right through his shadowy form.
"Shit," she whispered as she grabbed the phone from the ground and got up with a grace she didn't realise.
"Bella? Are you okay, what's going on?"
"I need to go, I'll explain everything later." She needed more time to come up with a believable lie and didn't know whether to go downstairs and open the door or not. Although she wondered if a blood-thirsty vampire wanting to kill her, would actually politely knock on her front door.
"Okay. Take care of yourself Bella."
"Bella, it's okay. You can open the door now." Jacob's voice sounded from downstairs, Edward stared at her disapprovingly as she closed her eyes not wanting to see what would happen if she would walk through him.
"Have you ever had a panic attack before when thinking about Edward?" Angela asked with a disbelieving look on her face. Bella almost blushed with embarrassment, realising exactly how lame her excuse was but she couldn't think of anything else that wouldn't sound completely unbelievable.
"Not really, I guess it just kind of hit me."
"What"
"How I'm probably never going to see him or the rest of his family again."
"You're better off without them anyway."
"Am I?" Bella murmured. "It's been a while since I've been as happy as I used to be back then."
Angela smiled sadly, "I know."
"Anyway, I'm feeling much better now. I'll be fine from now on." She said, trying to hide her shaking hands and the gnawing feeling in the bottom of her chest.
"If you ever need help, you know you can call me right?"
"Thanks Angela, but I'm pretty sure the panic attack was a one time thing."
"I'm not just talking about panic attacks, whatever you need. Okay?"
"Okay."
Jacob's embrace had been tight and warm when she'd opened the door for him with shaking hands. "It's okay, you're okay." He said when he felt her heart pounding against his chest, noticing how cold she felt in his embrace.
"Did you get him?" she mumbled against his bare chest.
He laughed and slightly pushed her back, his hands on the top of her arms. "Did you really think one little vampire could escape all of us?"
"Did he say anything?"
"He didn't say anything, just ran and screamed like a baby once he realised we were just as fast as he was."
She glared at him.
"We tried to get him to talk, but he wouldn't say anything."
"Do you think he was a lone wolf."
"Interesting choice of words." He smirked looking down at her.
"Jacob!"
"We don't think so." He said tensely.
"What do you mean?"
"We could smell other vampires on him. We think he has a clan. Or whatever you guys call it."
"Well, I don't call it anything since I'm not a part of anything."
Jacob glanced down and nodded sadly. "I never thought I would say this, but I kind of wish you were too now."
She smiled sadly as a few tears escaped her eyes again, a sour feeling in her stomach. "Thank you for coming so quickly."
"We're always just a call away, you do know that right?" He said as he guided her down to sit in a chair.
"Even Paul?" She asked jokingly.
He laughed loudly, "Even Paul."
"I've gone absolutely insane." She murmured to herself, laying on the floor of her bedroom, her arms spread out to her sides, staring at the slightly off white colour of her bedroom ceiling.
Edward's form hadn't gone away this time. He always disappeared once the challenging or dangerous situation had passed. But he was leaning against the windowsill, always somewhere present ever since the mysterious vampire had shown up.
She figured she couldn't tell anyone, feared their mocking glances or declaration of insanity. So she had spent the past couple of days in her room, only coming out to go to work and keep up appearances for Charlie.
"I'm so sick of this." She groaned, wiping her face with her hands. She hated feeling this way, hated how tears made their way to her eyes whenever he appeared in front of her. She hated how heart skipped a beat, and her a painful aching anchored itself between her ribs when she saw him.
I'm nineteen years-old for crying out loud, how long am I going to continue obsessing over him. But it was difficult not think or obsess over him when all she could think about was him. He was everywhere she went, literally these last couple of days. She kept seeing him all the time.
She looked at him whilst going through her internal monologue, he tilted his head at her like he could hear her inner struggle.
"I'll always be here, Bella." He murmured.