It hurt. The pain was so tremendous, so heartwrenching that it was impossible to breathe or even to think. It felt as if someone ripped out the most important part of her being, leaving only the gaping hole instead.
It wasn't a physical wound, no, it was way worse.
The sense of loss was too overwhelming. Perhaps, it would be way less painful just to die herself.
Barbara woke with a start, desperately gasping for air, her eyes darting madly through her surroundings. A familiar bedroom made her calm down a bit, yet the horrible pain still lingered in her mind.
A dream, no, a true nightmare. It was weird how the woman couldn't even remember what it had been about despite waking in the midst of it.
The reality tried to make its way into her mind. She was in her bed, with Jim cuddling by her side like a small kitten.
Oh yes, Barbara had remembered now - yesterday there had been a huge fight with James because of their son, and she had kicked him out. As Jim had overheard more than needed, he was too distressed, so the mother had let him fall asleep by her side.
As for the nightmare… Well, having that one made no sense at all. More likely, her son would have ended with some of those after his traumatic experience, but her?
"Mommy?" apparently, she moved too much as Jim had woken up looking at her groggily.
"Yes, sweetie?" Barbara ran her hand through his hair affectionately. No matter, what had happened, they were still together. As long as it stayed the same, she was sure to pull through the most troubles.
Jim's small hand suddenly reached her face and wiped off something.
"Are you crying?" his voice was full of genuine worry.
Crying? Her? Yet, her son was right - the woman suddenly noticed tears streaming down her cheeks. Most likely, those remained from that horrible nightmare.
It was too irresponsible to show the boy such a weak side.
"I'm alright," Barbara smiled.
Jim didn't believe even for a second:
"Is it because Daddy left?"
"No," the mother pulled her son in a tight hug. "Your father has nothing to do with it".
Whatever had caused that unpleasant nightmare, the daughter of Gunmar knew for sure it wasn't related to James in any manner…
Surprisingly, it started to look like the most of problems solved themselves without any complications. James had spent the night after their fight in a hotel. He tried to approach Barbara after some days passed (luckily, Jim was at his pre-school), but the woman gave him the cold shoulder, so in the end, he just took most of his possessions of the house and left.
In a way, Barbara was amazed that she could treat her husband so civilly - after all, her hatred hadn't gone anywhere and probably even got stronger. Somehow, she would still prefer that man dead. Most likely, it was because her cold reason had won the inner argument - James's violent death would bring too much attention and thorough investigation. Modern police wouldn't be satisfied with some excuse Barbara could fabricate and as a family member, she would end as the first suspect. Not to mention that her son would end in the midst of all of that. She couldn't traumatize the kid even more.
So Barbara had to be satisfied with a divorce and the man in question out of her life and as far from Jim as possible. The woman didn't think that her husband would demand shared custody or something - after all he believed that his son was switched places with some monster.
Of course, there was some uproar among Lakes' common acquaintances. Barbara had received a great share of calls demanding details about their breakup. Well, it actually made a lot of sense - their household had always been a great example of a happy family, and the divorce most likely felt out of nowhere to everyone else.
Surprisingly enough, James kept the reason for their break up a secret, which made him the guilty party by default in most friends' eyes. On the other hand, it wasn't like he could share his findings of 'monsters' with anyone. That may have landed him in a psychiatric ward. Most people simply didn't believe in the supernatural.
Another unforeseen thing Barbara had learned from those calls was that James had quit his job and made some plans to leave Arcadia altogether. That was strange, to say the least, but the woman couldn't care less. If he wanted to go away, it would mean fewer chances for him to hurt their son more.
Who could imagine that it turned out to be another horrible miscalculation?
Barbara would never be able to forget that day. Ironically, it was Jim's fifth birthday - an event that had to bring so much happiness to her boy. Even the weather was up to no good, with a horrible storm raging outside. However, the mother still hoped for a wonderful evening after picking up her son from his preschool. The poor kid needed some good emotions - after his father left, the boy couldn't stop blaming himself for that. The woman hoped that some wonderful cake (of course, bought one, there was no way she would make it worse with her non-existent baking skill!) and watching his favorite cartoons together would make him cheer up a bit.
Yet...
"Mr. Lake took Jim. Haven't he told you?" the innocent surprise on the caretaker's face felt like a heavy slap to Barbara. She didn't even stay to listen to anything else that girl might have wanted to tell as she rushed back to her car.
To everyone else, it probably had looked like the loving father wished to spend some time with his son, a wonderful birthday surprise or something. Hell, even Jim himself most likely had believed that his daddy wanted to make peace, perhaps, even come back.
Barbara knew it wasn't true. James had deluded himself in believing that the child in his house wasn't his son. He could only see a despicable monster and who knew what he was going to do to the kid. The mother couldn't even imagine where the man was going to take Jim - she was on the verge of forgoing all the common sense, turning back into her true form and trying to track them by scent, no matter how impossible it was with heavy rain washing away all the trails.
The luck was on her side - when she drove close to her house, she saw James's car parked near the garage door. For a second a vague hope that the man had abandoned his obsessive delusion crossed Barbara's mind, but she cast it away, for the time being, running up to the front door.
There was no light in the windows - that fact alone made her heart stop. If everything was peaceful, wouldn't it make more sense to turn on the lights?
The woman charged inside - and was met by empty rooms. In a mad dash, she ran through both floors only not to see anyone. Was she mistaken? Had James took her son somewhere else?
Some weird noises broke her reverie and her gaze fell on the door to the basement. Next moment Barbara burst through it hoping that she wasn't too late.
Even in the dim lighting, it was impossible to miss the tall figure of James passing furiously across the basement with a bat in his arm and cursing half audibly. He looked not in his right mind, disheveled and with some deranged fire in his eyes. There were also some scratches on his face. It was as if he had just fought some wild critter or something.
But the woman's attention never lingered on him for too long as her glance fell on a small shape crouching on all fours, clearly on defense and trying to scare off the offender with growling. That was the very image of a feral cornered small animal. It was so surreal that Barbara failed to recognize her own child at first, but then it clicked, bringing the horror of the entire situation to her mind.
James somehow managed to terrify her son to the point where the poor kid just had to abandon any human norms of behavior. Instead, he latched desperately into the deepest corner of his mind, finding some trollish defensive instincts there. Fight or flight - that was probably the one. As escape had been unavailable, the boy decided to struggle, even though it was hopeless from the very start. With his size, there was no way he could inflict any serious damage to the grown-up male. Nevertheless, the scratches and disheveled clothes were the proofs that Jim put everything in his attack.
That was enough - the mother pushed the man away, running to her boy and scooping him up in a swift motion. The next second, she felt a sharp pain in her arm - still in panic and not able to tell friend and foe apart, Jim buried his teeth in her wrist. But was that ache even important? It was nothing compared to her boy's soul wounds. She used her other hand to stroke his hair tenderly.
"Shhh, sweetie, it's ok, mommy is with you now," the woman whispered lovingly noting, that Jim's frantic trembling calmed down a bit. Some more seconds later, he also let her wrist out.
"Barbara! What the hell are you doing?!" James yelled furiously after recovering from the initial shock. Honestly, the mother had forgotten about his existence for a moment, but now he just had to remind her about his presence. Jim started growling again as soon as he heard his father's voice.
"Me? What are you doing?" her tone was even, but she felt the genuine rage boiling inside. That was a pity that she hadn't another pair of arms - she could use those to strangle bastard on the spot.
"You must be nuts! Haven't you seen that yourself? This thing is definitely not human! I nearly made it show its true form! Why have you interfered?"
His angry tirade meant nothing, falling on deaf ears. In her mind, Barbara had given James a death sentence already and wouldn't stop at executing it. The bastard could try to run to the end of the world - she would never let him escape, even if it was the last thing she would do.
"Move," she commanded in a tone that used to absolutely terrify her enemies all those centuries ago. Even though the woman didn't look that menacing or dangerous in her human form, James shut up right away and stepped aside. Perhaps, some sixth sense told him about the possible danger.
Barbara passed him on her way out of the basement, still holding scared Jim close to her chest. Her son was the main priority at the moment, so she went upstairs to his room, hoping that familiar surroundings would help him to calm down.
It seemed it was the right decision. Without any doubt, her little boy was mentally drained and exhausted after all he had gone through. The moment Barbara put him gently on his bed and covered him with a blanket, Jim finally managed to close his eyes, and his frantic heartbeat eventually slowed down.
It was nearly impossible to believe that anyone could fall asleep so fast.
Of course, no. It was more like passing out because of mental strain.
The mother hated to leave the boy alone even for a second, but there was another thing she had no right to delay anymore.
If James was that obsessed with monsters, she would gladly show him the one.
The daughter of Gunmar felt shockingly numb at the moment - it reminded her of the old times when she had been eliminating her father's enemies. The woman had always been wondering if she had changed after experiencing so many fleshbag things. It seemed that in the end, she was still the Herald of Doom. Or maybe it was that the situation simply required her to be Barverra the Atrocious from the past. In any case, she gladly leaned to that darkest aspect of her personality.
She had a vial with the antimagic potion in her pocket, so shifting to her true form was a matter of seconds. Yet, the female decided to delay it for some time and judge the situation first.
Yes, that was her forte - to be a methodical and precise killer, the one fueled by an ice-cold rage. The one playing with a prey, yet never letting it escape. Yes, she was going to hunt that night without thinking of the consequences.
Perhaps that cold and cruel determination made Fortuna give the woman her blessing. James hadn't left the house. No, actually, it didn't even look like he was going to do that. Quite the contrary, he was sitting on the sofa as if waiting for her to appear.
Maybe that night the man had totally lost his mind, letting paranoia and hatred to posses his mind entirely. Or he had been crazy initially. Perhaps, he also had some ridiculous plan that would make no sense.
Barbara didn't know or care to start with. She just stared blankly at the person she once at least respected and only saw a pathetic lump of flesh.
Something that disgusting had no right to voice its opinion.
"Barbara," James sighed with an obvious relief after noticing the redhead. "You're not hurt!"
Why should she have been hurt? It was quite difficult to refrain from a merciless jeer. The bastard just continued to be ludicrous.
"Have you hit Jim?" the mother asked blankly. She didn't need the answer as she had already learned it herself.
The only one truly hurt in the entire household stayed upstairs at the moment. Moreover, the damage poor kid had gotten wasn't only the mental one. The mother had seen some fresh bruises on his body. James had held the bat when she broke into the basement. It was obvious how exactly he had used that one. At least he hadn't hit hard enough by that point - not that it made him less of a criminal.
"How many times have I repeat? That thing isn't Jim! Beating it was necessary," the man replied without showing any kind of remorse. "As if the monster would ever show its true nature if I only threatened it".
"I see," Barbara's voice probably had reached the coldness of Antarctica by that point. It was genuinely astonishing that James was ignorant enough not to notice the clear murderous intent flying in the air. She was more than sure that anyone else would have been running for their life a long time ago.
Somehow the man simply made everything too easy, too boring.
"Now that you've seen something that hideous and despicable, how can you protect that monster?" there was some genuine surprise and disbelief in his voice as if he expected a way different reaction from her.
What a pathetic fleshbag.
During the entire conversation, the woman was walking through the room slowly in an attempt to position herself right behind the unsuspecting prey back. Right now, she finally ended at the most convenient spot. A glance to the left confirmed that there was a heavy vase in the close vicinity. That would do perfectly.
"You are right. Today I've witnessed something truly repulsive and disgraceful," Barbara drawled before knocking the man down with a vase.
James fell down like a marionette with cut strings. But that would be only the beginning of his doom...
Some part of Barbara still couldn't believe what she had managed to pull the previous night without being caught. Probably she needed to thank the horrible weather that kept everyone inside and hid suspicious noises.
After knocking James out, the woman dragged him into his car and drove into the forest. She abandoned the vehicle in an unsuspicious location and finally used the potion to turn back into her true form. Afterward, it was a piece of cake to carry an unconscious body into her secret cave.
Probably it would be the best just to break the man's neck and forget about the bastard for good, however, that would never satisfy the Herald of Doom's rage.
Never let anyone who has offended the Gunmar's kin escape without proper payment.
That was one of her father's rules - the one she wouldn't ignore. Not after everything that her son had gone through.
Barverra drugged her prisoner for now and then worked on restraints. She had some chains in her cave just in case she would ever take a captive. Who could imagine that they would have some use?
The daughter of Gunmar didn't worry that James could escape. The chains were strong enough to restrain a mature troll. A simple fleshbag wouldn't be able to break from something like that.
Leaving the bastard alone in God-knows-where was a part of the planned torture. Barbara wanted him to experience some terror and despair first. Later she would proceed to more physical methods, but for now, she just left.
There were some matters regarding covering the entire situation. Times had changed significantly. It was impossible to handle someone's death as easily as decades ago. There would be an investigation in any case, which could cause too much commotion. Unless...
Unless James Lake Sr. would never be proclaimed dead.
Yes, that could be the right answer. Besides, wasn't her husband helping her unknowingly? He had plans to leave Arcadia, so it would be easy to fabricate the story where he had actually left. The reason? Another woman would fit perfectly into the narrative - some of their shared friends had already assumed it was the reason for the Lakes' break up.
Barverra smirked, and after giving it some thought, decided to go back home in her true form. It would be faster, and she needed to cool down a bit...
Jim's mental state had been his mother's biggest worry. All that shock and terror he had gone through, had clearly reduced him to the feral state. What if it was permanent? What if her dear child wouldn't be able to live among humans anymore?
Why was she even thinking about that?
They would go into hiding together then. Most likely, teaching her son troll ways would be inevitable, no matter how much Barbara wanted to prolong their peaceful days.
That would be a lonely way to live, the one without any allies or friends. Well, Barverra had already experienced that after her father's fall. At least, this time, there would be Jim together with her. She didn't need anymore.
Nevertheless, in the end, all those thoughts turned out to be pointless. When Jim had woken up the next morning, he didn't remember the entire day before. For better or worse, his fragile mind had shut down all of the painful memories.
It hadn't magically erased the trauma. There were obviously lingering remains of the previous night's terror, ones that the boy didn't fully comprehend himself. His sleep was plagued by nightmares for a while.
That alone made Barbara's determination to make James pay stronger.
She had spent three days without visiting her prisoner. Meanwhile, the woman was working on the cover story. It wasn't that difficult to contact her old associates who always helped her with ids before. Well, the payment they asked for this time was shamelessly high, but it wasn't like Barbara had the luxury to act stingy right now, not to mention that she had accumulated enough costs through all the decades.
That took care of James's disappearance - some forged proofs that he moved to a different state, disposing of all of his stuff remaining in Arcadia and later some fabricated stuff to pull off the divorce. Those associates surely knew their craft - Barbara suspected that they also worked with changelings regularly. Who else would need help with covering their tracks?
The only thing left was the culprit himself, so the woman finally decided to visit the captive. Three days would be enough, not to mention that she left him without any water or food. Well, her cave was quite damp, so the man could probably lick some water droplets condensing on the walls, but that would be just a delay of inevitable. More waiting might have resulted in the death out of hunger or dehydration. That would be an easy escape.
The daughter of Gunmar came to the cave in her human guise. Yes, her true form was way more terrifying, but she wanted James to realize why he ended in his current predicament to the full extent. There was a huge difference between abduction by a mysterious monster for whatever reason and punishment for hurting his own son. Besides, throwing some hope for a possible escape and then crush it was appropriate mental torture. How many times had she done that in the past?
It went much like Barbara predicted - the captive certainly tensed the moment he had heard someone entering, but his relief was immense after recognizing her.
"Bar...bara," he rasped weakly. "It's you... Please... help..."
It was quite ludicrous that the man hadn't suspected his wife at all. Shouldn't his last memory before losing consciousness have been about their conversation? There had been three full days for thinking about possibilities, yet James hadn't shown even a shadow of suspicion.
Amusing.
The old long-buried cruel part of the Herald of Doom seemingly awoke, ready to play with the unaware victim. She wanted him to learn the full extent of despair - Jim most likely experienced a lot of that trying to escape from his unhinged father. It was the time for payback.
Goblins paid ten times more. Barverra was going to surpass even that.
"Oh, dear," she faked a genuine concern kneeling by his side. "Here, have some water!"
The woman brought a flask to her prisoner's lips. She took that one with her specifically for providing him with some water. As for food... Well, he still could go without any for a while.
"What has happened?" Barbara asked, still playing her innocent wife role.
"That monster," James scowled. "It knocked me down and took here... Or maybe it got some help from its kind... I was too careless, so they realized the need to shut me up... Good thing that you've managed to escape, Barbs... Now, please, find the way to open these chains..."
The daughter of Gunmar barely refrained from a sarcastic laugh. It was just bizarre - had the bastard spent three days dead set that his capturer was Jim without trying to consider other possibilities? She was the most suspicious one. Wasn't she the one to side with her son, never showing any fear at his obviously inhuman behavior? She had been close at the moment of James's blackout and now could enter the supposed monster lair easily. Everyone would see that Barbara was too shady, to put it lightly.
That was disgustingly pathetic.
The woman stood up slowly and reached for the antimagic potion in her pocket. There was no need to prolong the charade. She had been fed with that already.
"You know, James, I need to apologize," she started slowly, picking her words. "You've been right all the time. There's a monster in our house. A cruel, ruthless, vindictive one. A hideous creature that'll never let you go once you've pissed them..."
"Barbara, it's not a good time for that," the man interrupted her, starting to get nervous. "We can talk later - now we need to escape before that thing returns".
"Haven't I just told you that there is no way to escape?" she smiled innocently. "Besides, I'm one hundred percent sure that we have all the time in the world to talk".
The captive gulped. Perhaps, in the end, he had finally started to connect the dots.
"What do you mean?" he asked in utter bewilderment. It seemed that the man still refused to gasp the reality completely.
"Never mind, it's nothing important," the dismissive wave of the hand was the only reply James got. "What really matters is that you've been mistaken about Jim".
Her voice grew unbelievably sweet by this point. The captive stared at her in fear.
Barbara continued:
"You see, Jim is simply a lovable little boy, a bit awkward in following some social norms because of certain circumstances... Besides, he really loves his daddy, and that neglecting and hostile attitude you showed to him lately hurt my son greatly..."
"Barbara, what the hell you..."
"Shut up, fucker," she sent him a death glare dropping her pretense at once. "You certainly have no idea how much you've screwed".
Now James got genuinely terrified.
"Who are you?" the whisper was hardly audible. That was the perfect reaction - the bastard had to learn the feeling of betrayal from the one he trusted and loved. The daughter of Gunmar was going to make him go through all the things he had done to her son.
"So mysterious - sometimes so keen, yet so slow right now," she drawled, playing with the vial in her hand. "Your biggest mistake is that you've got the monster wrong. Jim has never been the most dangerous in our family. It's me".
"Wha...?" the change of James's expression, when Barbara crushed the vial and transformed, was simply priceless. There was a momentary realization, then brief denial, ending with utter despair.
"Surprised, eh?" the female smirked, bringing a sharp claw close to his carotid and even drawing some blood. "Oh, believe me, my darling, you have no idea what true monsters are capable of. If you think that the impure from your childhood - whatever her name - was bad, I have some really bad news for you".
She waited for a response, but apparently, the shock turned out to be too much for her captive, leaving him unable to produce any coherent phrase.
That was seriously maddening.
"So you're only brave enough when confronting someone who can't fight back?" Barverra growled. "You should have guts to face repercussions if you decide to harm my child, fleshbag!"
She stomped on his leg hard, fully enjoy the sound of breaking bones and the howl of pain her prisoner let out. The fragment of bone broke through the skin - the female troll didn't hold back at all.
Ironically enough, the open fracture snapped James out of his shocked state.
"Please, let me go!" he whimpered, trying to drag his body away. "I'll just leave and won't tell anyone what has happened here!"
Did he seriously try that? Did he actually hope for at least some mercy?
"Just tell me one thing, my dear," Barverra crouched near her captive, grabbing his hair forcefully and looking right into his eyes. "Did Jim ask you to stop that night? Did he beg you not to hit him?"
She didn't need the answer - the sheer horror in the man's gaze told her the full story.
"You've brought it on yourself. If you had just disappeared from our lives altogether, I would let you live even though you made Jim cry. The Herald of Doom has her honor, after all. You deserved at least that as my token of gratitude. Thanks to you, I have my precious child in my life".
James perked slightly after hearing that.
What a hopeless fool.
"But, unfortunately, you crossed the line, my dear," her voice turned ice-cold. "Do you seriously expect getting away after harming my son? That's simply hilarious. Right now, you cannot even dream about having an easy death - believe me, I know enough about fleshbag physique to inflict as much pain as possible without killing you. Oh, I bet you'll start begging me to take away your life quite soon!"
How many nights had she come to her prisoner to punish him for his sin? Six? Seven? Perhaps, even eight? It was quite difficult to count as Barbara could swear she wasn't fully in her sound mind, turning into the true vindictive fury. It seemed that at some point James had gone insane because of torture as well, but it didn't matter that much anymore. Those were nights straight out of the nightmare.
And at the daylight, the woman played the role of a heartbroken wife, abandoned by her husband. Inventing some random lover story was basically a piece of cake, and most acquaintances bought it.
Actually, not all of Barbara's distress was fake - after all, the mother was still worried sick for Jim's mental state. What if he just faked not remembering anything about that horrible night? But, no, that couldn't be possible, her son was too young for thinking out something like that.
He wasn't a liar, unlike her.
Nevertheless, he definitely couldn't let the sadness of his father's absence go. The woman could see him expecting James to return. Yet there was some contradiction there as well. Every time someone brought up the matter of Mr. Lake, Jim paled or flinched without noticing. It seemed that the fear had taken deep roots in the boy's subconsciousness. Every time after seeing that, the daughter of Gunmar was more vicious with torturing her prisoner.
Well, everything had its limits - one night after coming back to her cave, Barverra had discovered only a corpse.
There was no pity, no remorse. Even the rage had simply evaporated, leaving the emptiness only. It seemed that it was the end of payback. What else could be done with an empty shell, mutilated beyond recognition?
No, there was still one more thing left.
She had shown him the terror, taught the man the true meaning of despair, let him experience horrible physical pain. The only way to insult James's honor more would be never to let him rest in peace.
There would never be a proper grave for that fleshbag. The daughter of Gunmar buried him deep in the forest, in a place where no human ever stepped, leaving no marker or mound...