Chapter 6

Weeks went by, and Paul was doing okay, sort of. There were moments when he felt he was going to lose his fucking mind, but he kept going. Two rouge vampires helped him remember what he liked about being a shapeshifter: ripping vampires to shreds after a good chase. He'd taken them down by himself, and Sam had torn him a new one. Maybe he was lucky to be still alive. Who the fuck cared?

"Paul, could you come here for a sec?" Sam asked him. Paul had been lounging in their living room with the rest of the pack since he came from his patrol and was shagged.

"What? Can it wait?" Paul groaned.

"No. Out. Now," his alpha ordered and left outside.

Paul sighed heavily and got up from the couch. He followed Sam, who had walked straight to the beach and kicked stones when he reached him.

"What's up?" Paul asked.

"I hope you've realized by now that this isn't working?" Sam said, motioning his hands toward him.

"What?" Paul asked, playing dumb. Sam looked at him, visibly pissed off. And Paul knew he was being a dick.

"You are not well. Everybody can see that. Your skin is paler, you've lost weight, and you look like you hadn't slept in months," Sam said.

"I'm fine."

"The hell you are. And it's not only that you risked your life by taking those two bloodsuckers down on your fucking own. It is against all RULES, but you fucking idiot did it anyway! You BROKE the most vital rule!" Sam shouted. "It's like you have a death wish. And it makes me think that this denial isn't affecting only your body but your mind as well. You are clearly depressed."

"Leave it, Sam!" Paul wasn't in a mood to have his ass handed to him. He knew he was fucked up, but Sam was crossing the line talking about depression. He wasn't looney.

"NO! YOU listen to me now! You are putting everybody in this pack at risk. You have to give up this bullshit and get things sorted. You must break up with the Weber girl, and when Bella comes to Forks, you need to TELL her!"

"Fuck you, Sam," Paul spat, but he lacked the energy to really mean the words, and he knew Sam was right. He'd been fucking idiot.

"No, Paul. You'll get yourself out of this shit you've put yourself into. Take your head out of your ass and do what is right. Fighting the wolf is making you sick. STOP IT!"

They stared each other down. Eventually, Paul broke eye contact, and Sam moved to leave.

"You know I'm right. Just do it," he scowled and left the beach.

For a moment, Paul thought about going home, but he'd avoided being there and seeing Angela. And today was Sunday; Angela would definitely try to get hold of him. He didn't have his mobile with him, he'd left it at home, and Paul knew Angela wouldn't come looking for him here.

Yeah, he knew what he was; a fucking coward leading on a kind and good girl. He was a pathetic excuse of a man. And breaking up with her was the only right thing to do.

He followed Sam wanting to get back on that couch. Lunch was on the way, and there was a game starting he wanted to see so that he could talk about it with John later. Although he should probably cut his time with the rest of the family too. Fuck, he'd screwed up badly.

Paul returned to the couch and tuned out the chatting around him, closing his eyes.

Everybody in the pack knew about Paul's imprint. Fucking Sam had declined his pleading not to tell them. He reasoned that keeping such significant information from the pack would cause problems in the long run. Trust was essential for them to be at their best. And Paul would generally agree, but he hated that everybody knew. It wasn't their fucking business, in his opinion. But as it was, everything was always everybody else's damn business.

His imprinted brothers didn't accept his decision not to tell Bella about the imprinting. The ones without weren't exactly sure how to feel. Jacob had first tried to tear him a new one and told him he didn't deserve Bella. He was probably right. After Jacob had gotten used to the idea of Paul being imprinted on his best friend, he'd told him that Bella felt something was wrong with her, and Jacob begged Paul to tell her what was going on.

But Paul had asked him, did he honestly want Bella to leave everything she'd worked for so hard just to end up a glorified housemaid for the pack? That didn't go down well, and Sam had made him apologize from the imprints. Needless to say, he wasn't a favorite among them, but he just couldn't give a damn. They were fucking annoying anyway.

He'd been trying to find a way to break the imprint bond by reading everything that was hidden in the tribal archives about the La Push shapeshifters. His intentions didn't bode well with the rest of the pack except Leah. She was encouraging him and helping him, her motives evident. She was still hung up with what she and Sam once had, which was pathetic in Paul's opinion. It's been two years since that shit went down. But he welcomed her help.

Together with Leah, they had read texts but hadn't found anything to help them. The elders didn't want to help; it was impossible to make them even listen to what he wanted—the old farts.

Things with Leah had gone a bit weird after she tried to have sex with him. As awesome as a good fuck with a female shifter would certainly be, and damn, wasn't he in need of a good one, Paul could not do it. And the fucked-up part was that it wasn't because of Angela but because of Bella. For once, he and his wolf agreed on something. And it had felt good, made him feel more balanced.

"So, Paul," Jacob said from the opposite side of the living room, dragging him away from his thoughts, "have you heard that Bella is coming next week?"

Paul's heart almost stopped. He tried to look like the information didn't affect him. But it was fucking hard when his wolf jolted to high alert, and his body started to hum.

"No," he growled and, not trusting his voice, didn't say anything else.

"Yeah, it's her summer break, and dad told me she's coming to Sue's party."

Bella was coming to La Push! The mere idea made his dick throb in his shorts, all the fantasies he'd had of her last couple of months rushing into his mind. He knew his pack mates could soon smell his arousal, which would be embarrassing as fuck. He got up from the couch and slipped off the house through the back door.

He needed to run, but he could not phase; he didn't want Jared to witness his turmoil. Images of Bella's beautiful face, sensual mouth, and those deep warm sparkling eyes filled his mind in full force spinning around and making him light-headed. His wolf was purring. This was his mate. This was his destiny, and Paul didn't have it in him to deny it. He was so fucking tired.

He could not phase, but he could run, and run he did, even though he was drained as it was. He ran along the shore all the way to Toleak Point and back.

After a couple of hours, he dragged himself home just to find Angela sitting in her car in front of his house. He really didn't feel like seeing her now. He'd been planning on taking a long shower, fantasizing about Bella. Sex with Angela was the last thing in his mind, and he knew he couldn't do it anymore.

He needed to break up with her, but how to do it gently. Was there a gentle way to break up? Fuck, this was one reason he had never dated before; he hated the damn drama. But in this case, he knew it was all down to him, and he could blame only himself. He'd been a fucking moron to start the relationship in the first place. He hoped he could erase the last nine months and start all over, but that wasn't to be. Now was the time for him to find his balls and make things right.

"Hi Paul," Angela hopped out of the car. She looked nervous. Had something happened?

"Hey, what's up?"

"Um... can I come in?"

"Sure. I must hop quickly in the shower," he said, and Angela nodded.

He opened the door, letting Angela go in, and then headed to the shower. He quickly rinsed the sweat and dirt, and as much as he longed to get his rocks off, he didn't want to do it while Angela was waiting for him. That would be too gross even for him.

He was pondering whether he should wait for what she had to say before breaking up with her or after. Maybe it was better to tell her first in case she was going to ask something from him. It would be less embarrassing for Angela. He did care for her and hated that he had to hurt her. He'd been fucking stupid to start dating her. Deep down, he'd always known she wasn't the kind of woman he wanted and needed. He hoped she was her sister and wasn't that all kinds of fucked up. Paul shuddered.

He pulled on clean shorts and a t-shirt and went to take the bull by the horns.

"Angela, there is something we need to talk about."

"Oh? Yes, I have something too, Paul..."

"No, let me say first. This is going to be shit, and I'm so sorry, but we need to break up. I've been an asshole keeping things up between us this long. I care about you, but it's not fair for you. You are a great girl. You deserve someone better than me."

Paul watched Angela as tears filled her eyes and spilled on her cheeks, trembling hands covering her mouth.

Damn how Paul hated this, but this was all his doing, and he should take the waterworks without complaining. He winced, being such an asshole. Being with Angela had softened him a great deal. He had a conscience, for starters.

"No... P...Paul. You... you can't leave me. I love you. You are my ... everything!" Angela said, raising her voice and wiping tears from her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Angela."

"Are you dumping me because Bella is coming next week?"

"What?" Paul asked stunned. But he recovered fast, "no. I'm ending this because this is not right. I care about you, but I don't love you."

Angela gasped, hurt lacing her face.

"You can't have Bella; she's happy with Tyler!" She was almost screaming now.

Paul grimaced at that, but he didn't take the bait. He would not let this be about Bella. It wasn't about her; it was about him and Angela. He needed to restore his self-respect, and the place to start was to put things right between him and Angela.

"No, it's not because of Bella. Why the fuck would you even think that? I've seen her only once."

"Oh, Oh … I saw …. I saw how you stared at her and wanted her the second you laid your eyes on her!" Angela spat with passion Paul hadn't seen in her before.

Fuck, he was starting to lose his temper, but he would keep it together. He couldn't say he didn't want Bella; his wolf didn't let him lie about his mate.

"This is about us. You deserve someone who loves you."

"You can't leave me. I won't let you."

"Angela, be reasonable…"

"NO! I'm pregnant! You cannot leave me!"

A chill swept through Paul.

"WHAT!?"

"I'm pregnant," Angela said with a weaker voice.

Paul couldn't fucking believe this.

"No, no, no. Fuck no!" Paul shouted.

Angela winced.

"I don't believe you!" he shouted. This wasn't happening. Paul started to walk back and forth, pulling his hair in despair. Angela was lying. She must be lying. She could not be pregnant. They'd been extra careful.

Angela opened her bag and took out a clear zip log bag with white sticks that Paul recognized as pregnancy tests.

"I'm not lying," Angela said quietly. Paul grabbed the bag from her and saw three tests with double lines and one with the dreaded word 'pregnant'.

"How the FUCK can you be pregnant? You're on the pill, and we always used condoms. Every fucking time!"

Angela's face flushed, and she looked anywhere but at him. Holy fuck, had she done something?

"Angela, what the fuck have you done?" Paul roared. Had she tricked him into this?

Angela didn't answer.

"Are you still on the pill?"

Angela shook his head.

Um-fucking-believable!

"You stopped taking the pill without telling me!? Why the fuck would you do something like that?"

"I … I .. ca.. ca … can't lose you," she started to cry again.

"And tricking me into getting you pregnant is the way to keep me. Hmm? ... FUCK! Next, you tell me that you've used pins on the condoms we've used."

The look on Angela's face confirmed that he'd been right about that. He couldn't fucking believe this. How could she do something like that?

"You are a fucking bitch, Angela!" he shouted.

"I had to do it," Angela said, her voice unsarcastically strong if a bit shaky. "I... I can't live without you. You are everything to me," she sniffed, wiping her tears. "I knew you would leave me. Ever since you saw Bella, you have pulled yourself away from me. You want her, not me. But now I'm carrying YOUR child; you can NEVER leave me!"

"Watch me," Paul shouted. "You better be gone when I come back." Paul left his own house, banging the door after him. "FUCK!" he shouted and ran to the forest.

"Do you really have to leave today?" Tyler asked, nuzzling Bella's neck. Bella pulled Tyler closer and inhaled his intoxicating scent behind his ear making him shiver.

"Yeah. My dad wants me to be home tomorrow. He's been dating this woman from La Push, Sue Clearwater, and she's having some kind of a party and wants me there."

Bella stretched her arms above her head and yawned. It was still pretty early.

"I hate that I can't come with you. I will miss you so damn much," Tyler pouted.

"I will miss you too, but I'm sure you'll have fun in Hawaii with your family," Bella turned to face him and kissed him on the top of his nose.

"Would be more fun if you were there with me." Tyler pressed her against the mattress positioning himself between her legs.

"We could go there maybe next year after I've had my exam at Med school."

"I like that idea," he whispered sliding inside her wanting core. "That you're planning to be with me next year."

"Why wouldn't I?" Bella arched against him loving the feeling of having Tyler inside her.

"Hmm. So good, Bella. You feel so damn good."

"You too."

It didn't take them long to finish. Languid morning sex was Bella's favorite. The relaxation offered throughout the whole day was bliss, especially today when all she had to do was to pack and drive to Forks. She had a three-week summer break and would spend the first two with her dad and then go hiking with Mary and Chloe on Vancouver Island. Bella's mother, Renée, was traveling with her new husband number three and hadn't indicated she would want to catch up with her daughter. Bella had stopped caring about her mother. She would never change.

Tyler would be in Hawaii and then visiting his grandparents in New York.

After Tyler left, she started packing. She made sure she had her running shoes with her. Bella had started running after she'd been so nervous and irritated all the time and needed to do something to ease the stress it caused. She'd noticed that exhausting exercise took the edge off and helped her to relax and concentrate on her studies.

But she still couldn't shake the eyes of Paul Lahote out of her mind. They haunted her, but she tried to ignore the feelings they inflicted on her. She still couldn't explain any of it, but maybe she would understand more if he saw Paul again.

Bella and Angela had kept in contact via Whatsapp, chatting and occasionally talking. She seemed happy with Paul, and Bella was happy for her. She ignored the irrational feeling of jealousy that thinking about them together caused.

When she had backed her bag, she said farewell to her roommates and hit the road. She was taking the ferry route because she had time, and it felt a bit more like an adventure. Tyler had wanted to come with her, but he had a soccer game and would be leaving for Hawaii the next day. Secretly she was relieved. She loved going on her own. They'd been quite a tide knit lately, and she needed some space just to herself before spending time with dad and friends in Forks. A day on the road alone was just what she needed.

After she got out of CBD, she put on some music and started to relax some more. She would have late lunch somewhere after the ferry and maybe do a little hike in one of the natural parks along the way.

The drive and ferry trip went smoothly; it was a calm, overcast day. While she was having late lunch in Port Gamble, she got a message from Angela.

I have big news! I'm having a baby! Paul is going to be a dad! I'm so happy!

Bella felt like someone had hit her in the gut. She couldn't breathe and felt light-headed. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, and puffed out the air. She did it a few times and got herself under control.

What the hell was that? Angela was pregnant with Paul's baby. Why had it hurt to hear that? Shouldn't she be happy for her friend? Sure, it was a shock, Angela was so young, and she was damn sure they hadn't planned it, but surely it shouldn't cause physical pain. But it did. Bella didn't understand anything anymore.

AN:

Yeah, it's getting pretty messed up; desperate people doing desperate things.

Is it getting out of hand? I understand that this sort of mess probably isn't what people want to read in fanfiction, and I've probably dug myself into a hole I can't get off without considerable pain. 😉 But the pregnancy was part of this story when I started to write it, and I need to try how this works out. As I said, imprinting can be a bitch. People will get hurt; there's no way around it. But of course, Paul had been a selfish and stubborn asshole in this story and caused a lot of problems and not only to himself. Not easy to write him like that, since I love him. But no one's perfect, even Paul LaHote 😉

But I still have faith in this story. I hope you have too. :)

Thank you for your comments. *heart* next chapter won't come very soon. This was how far I've written the story before I've started posting it.