Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
X
Jax and Tara were still settled down on the couch, all wrapped up in each other again, her head against his shoulder, her legs thrown over his thighs, slightly bend at the knee, and in turn his arm wrapped around her with his hand resting on her hip, pulling her closer against him.
The TV was on, and Jax had the remote in his free hand, flipping through the channels, trying to see if anything good, preferably funny, was on at the moment. Tara cuddled against him, with her eyes closed, and if it hadn't been for her fingers continuously playing with his beard, he would've thought she was fast asleep by now.
He dropped the remote beside him, ran a hand from her knee up to her thigh and back again, then softly kissed her forehead, looking down at her for a moment, no longer giving any mind to the show he'd decided on.
Once more he found himself going back to earlier today, and what Dr. Reed had said, about Tara needing to try fill in the holes to regain her memory, and of course he also thought about her tearful admission of having thought she'd provoked Juice to attack her somehow.
His hand left her knee and instead grabbed a hold of her hand that was playing with his beard and gently kissed each knuckle of her fingers, one by one, his eyes trained on her face as he did so.
"Can I ask you something?" He said in a low hushed voice, waiting for her to open her eyes and acknowledge his question.
Tara slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him then, she looked sleepy, but also so utterly at ease at the moment, that he almost considered abandoning questioning her again. But deep down he knew if they didn't talk about this before they crawled into bed tonight, he'd end up just tossing and turning all night again.
"Sure." Tara nodded, lifted her head off of his shoulder and sat up a little so she could keep her eyes trained on him now, curious what he was about to ask, and secretly hoping it wasn't about John. She hadn't had a chance to confront John about what he'd said to Jax, or rather how he had worded it so obviously with the intend to get a rise out of Jax, because there had been another emergency, and he'd rushed off right after his part of the surgery was completed. She'd find him tomorrow and have this talk for sure.
He hesitated for a second, going over the way to word this question just right in his head. "What do you think you might've done to Juice, to provoke him?" He knew there was nothing that would in any way excuse or somehow justify what Juice had done, but he wanted her to answer the question because he needed to understand where all of her fear and doubt was coming from.
Tara took a deep breath and sighed, her eyes grew big and she suddenly looked wide awake again as she thought about how to best answer that. She shrugged her shoulders for a moment, "I'm not sure." She paused, thinking. "Maybe ... maybe I pulled my gun on him, maybe even fired it ... or maybe we argued, or something "
Jax nodded, but it just didn't quite add up, "What would you and Juice have to argue about?"
"Well, for one I didn't like it that you had him watch me the days before." Tara answered honestly, "And I'm sure he told you that I backed over his Harley, you know."
"I'm sorry." Jax answered, not sure what else he could say, knowing full well that he'd treated her badly during that time, having her watched like he did. In hindsight he could see now how that must've made her feel. "But none of that would justify him to go after you like he did."
Tara neither nodded or said anything to that, because she knew he was probably right, but she was struggling with the why me of it all, that it came natural to think she must've done something to provoke him, maybe not deserve it, but provoke him nonetheless.
"About what Dr. Reed said, trying to get your memory back. I've got an idea, if you're not too tired yet?" He wondered out loud, waiting for her agreement.
"What kind of idea?" Tara asked, curious about that now too.
"Hold on a sec." Jax said, and lifted her legs off of his lap just long enough so he could slip out from underneath and walked over to the coat closed by the front door.
Some of his personal belongings were still packed away in boxes, which were still scattered in a few different places across the apartment. Some in this closet, some in the linen closet, some under Tara's bed, until he'd get around to unpack them all and really moving in. He scanned the scribbling on the outside of the cardboard box, turning it to the side to find out what it said.
Tara suddenly appeared right beside him, watching him, "What are we looking for?" She asked, watching him examining the next couple of boxes on the shelf up top, too high for her to even reach without a stepstool.
"It will just say 'personal'." Jax answered, realizing that none of these boxes are it, and dropped his arms back to his side, before he turned and closed the closet door again.
"Personal?" Tara repeated, before she said, "I'll go check under my bed, you check the other closet." And with that she disappeared down the hall and slipped into her bedroom, while Jax headed for the linen closet in the hallway next to the bathroom instead, both in pursuit of this one particular box.
When Jax couldn't find it in this closet either, he stepped into the bedroom to help Tara, but stopped short in the doorway when he took in the sight that greeted him, and a grin spread across his face.
There was Tara, on her elbows and knees right next to the bed, ducking her head and upper body down, pushing the bed-skirt up to look and reach for the boxes beneath, and with her pajama shorts barely able to contain her curvy behind, presented him with the most beautiful view.
Jax just stood there, almost dumbstruck and practically salivating at the mouth, when her tank top rode up on her back and the crow tattoo came into view too, rubbing salt in the proverbial wound some more.
All the things he'd like to do with that, do to her, he thought to himself for a split-second, but then quickly reminded himself of the conversation he'd had with Greg earlier tonight.
You need to lay off of her! That was pretty much a direct quote from his friend and coworker, if he recalled.
And he knows Greg's advise is spot on, knows that he needs to give this coming-on-to-her shit some goddamn rest ... give her a minute to get better, figure her feelings out, and let her be the one to make the first move, ... and he swears he will do all of that, for her, just maybe not right this minute, because this right here is just too fucking good to pass up.
So he steps further into the room with deliberate quiet steps, and before the voice of reason within him can stop him from being stupid, he's already down on his knees right behind her, and within the time span of just a second or two, his hands are roughly gripping at her hips, pulling her towards him, thumbs quickly sliding across the far edges of the crow, like he'd done countless times during sex, and then he draws one hand back and gives her an opened palmed smack against her right cheek.
Tara jerks upward and lets out a shriek, startled at the sudden unexpected touch, and subsequent sting, and hits her head with a loud clank against the bed-frame that holds the mattress up right above her. Jax instinctively backs off now, and Tara mumbles some choice curse words as her face reappears from under the bed, rubbing the spot on her head when she meets Jax's eyes, glaring at him, "What the hell?"
"I'm sorry." Jax answers not very convincingly at all, and has to bite his lip to not let a laugh escape. But he's not at all put off by the look she's giving him and leans in, rubbing his hand across the same spot on her head she's been rubbing, giving it a quick kiss. "I didn't mean to startle you, but your ass looked just so goddamn perfect ... I just couldn't help myself."
She doesn't even know what to say to that, because once more today he's managed to piss her off and turn her on all in the same breath. She shakes her head at him, trying to act mad, but she is about as convincing at it as he was with his apology. And to further discredit herself, she can't stop the heat from rising in her cheeks, nor can she deny the small smile that appeared on her face that she's trying her best to hide, but to no avail.
Seeing the flush rise on her face, and the smile tugging at her lips, he can't help but grin again himself, but that's when Tara actually protests and shoves him hard against the chest, "That wasn't funny, Jax." And yet, she's smiling herself.
She got up off the floor now rather hastily, and stepped aside for him to take her place, "Your box is under there, but you'll have to get it yourself now." She folds her arms in front of her chest again, "I'm not bending over for you again."
"Ever? Or just tonight? He teases her, but when she just looks away from him in annoyance, he relents. "Fine, I'll get it." Jax answered, still grinning and leaned down, much like she had, arms outstretched, reaching beneath the bed.
Now Tara actually had to bring a hand up to cover her mouth, to muffle the laugh at the sight of him with his ass up in the air. Not even the way his muscles flex on his back, seemingly bringing the reaper to life can sour her mood at the moment. And she can't help but wonder if he's pushing his ass up like this on purpose to amuse her, or if this is actually like she'd presented herself to him without even knowing it just moments ago.
The grin on her face is so big, her teeth are showing and she's watching him intently as his upper body appeared back from beneath the bed, pulling the cardboard box along with him. But before he even managed to scramble to his feet, she can't help herself from teasing him just a little too. "FYI, you have no idea how lucky you are that I don't own a strap-on."
Jax twists around, box under his arm and meets her eyes in the same instant he's suddenly registering what she'd just said, but his face turns serious, and so is the look in his eyes when he speaks up, "I've been inside enough to know that that shit ain't funny."
The smile from Tara's face disappeared instantly at the look in his eyes and the humorless tone of his voice, and guilt rushed over her, "I'm sorry ... I - I didn't realize ..." She half stutters as the words die down, and she realizes that they've never talked in detail if something like that has ever happened to him.
But then a big sheepish grin spread across Jax's face, and he started laughing, loud enough that it might wake the boys, and she realized that he had just been messing with her and involuntarily a smile creeps onto her face too now.
"Asshole." She slapped his chest, playfully, but can't stop herself from joining in on the laughter too despite it.
He grinned ear to ear, pride in his eyes that he was able to get one over on her, and said, "You should've seen your face, babe ... that was fucking priceless."
"You're a real piece of work, Teller." Tara mumbled back, still smirking too. "Prison rape is no joke."
"Says the girl that just threatened me with a strap-on." He quipped back without missing a beat, one eyebrow deliberately raised when he smirked back at her once more. "By the way, that shit ain't never gonna happen."
Tara shrugs, "We'll see." And has to bite her lip at the expression that crosses his face for a split second.
He has a big old grin plastered on his face again when he finally lowered the box under his arm to the bed beside them. He started picking at the tape, but Tara grabbed a nail file from her vanity, the medal kind with the pointy tip, and wordlessly holds it out to him instead.
He poked and slid the file along the tape, then hands it back to Tara before he unfolded the flaps to look inside, to make sure he wasn't mistaken and that this was indeed the box he had been looking for.
Tara stepped up beside him, peeking past his arm to see what he could possibly have in there that could help her jog her memory. She watched on while he pulled two shoe sized boxes out, lids askew, and put them aside on the bed without another thought. She's seen these before, knows they hold some of those little journals he'd been keeping around their home back in Charming, and as if on cue Jax grabbed a handful of said journals that had fallen out into the bigger box and neatly places them back where they belonged amongst the others in the shoe sized boxes instead, before he finally replaced the lid on both those boxes.
But then reaches down into the bottom of the big box, and Tara isn't sure what she expected, but is surprised that all he's retrieving now is a couple of manila folders, before he returns the journal boxes, closes the box back up, drops it down to the carpet with a thud, and at last pushes it back under the bed with his foot.
Her eyes flitter up to his and she can see the carefree fun they'd just had moments ago has all but disappear again from his face and his eyes too.
"What is it, Jax?" Tara asked, no longer able to hold her tongue, curiosity eating at her at the way he's acting so secretive.
"Sit with me." Jax said and reached for her hand, pulling her onto the bed with him, both of them settling against the headboard side by side. In all honesty, he'd never intended for her to see these files, but that was before he knew that the shit she didn't know about that night seemed to haunt her more than what she's been told.
Yet he still hesitated for a long moment and stared at the two folders in his hand, one last moment of doubt if he was making a mistake here, or not, by showing her these.
"Here." He handed them over to her, having made up his mind, and Tara looked up to search his face again before her eyes flicker back down to his hands and she finally takes them from him.
"What is it?" Tara asked for the second time now, because the reluctance in his eyes has her suddenly reluctant and nervous herself. She can't help but wonder what could possibly be in those files that caused this sudden shift in his mood again.
"It's the ..." He paused and cleared his throat. "It's a copy of the police reports from that night. Reports, crime scene photos, you know, everything they've got." But when Tara still makes no move to even so much as open either one of the two folders, he adds, "Thought it might jog your memory if you looked at these ... you know."
"Right." Tara answered clipped, eyes fixed on the folders in her hand, gathering the courage to actually look at them.
She wondered momentarily where or how he even got his hands on these, but honestly, at this point she's really not all that surprised anymore that he did. Jackson Teller is nothing if not resourceful.
She's not so sure she can do this though, but at the same time she knows Jax is only trying to help. But at what cost, she wondered as she feels her heartbeat quicken, and her palms turned sweaty once more at the thought of what these files might entail. Undoubtedly she's about to discover something she wished she didn't know.
Feeling her understandable reluctance, Jax moved closer to her, draped his arm around her, his hand reassuringly massaging one shoulder to ease some of that tension in her, before he spoke up, "Look, you don't have to do this. You don't have to look at them if you don't want to, babe."
He shook his head to himself, suddenly regretting letting her know that he had these, "I just thought ... I needed to know everything they found, and I thought maybe if you knew too, you wouldn't have to keep wondering what happened, maybe it would even get rid of those fucking nightmares."
Everything he just said, sounds so right and Tara knows it too. She keeps imagining the worst, has nightmares about it because she simply can't remember, and what's in these files is probably the best approach to bring some memories - hell, maybe even all - of them back. So with one last deliberate deep breath, she flips the first folder open and begins to read.
Jax sits by, silently at first, reading along over her shoulder, even though he must've read everything a thousand times already. His eyes flicker to her face, at some of the more gruesome details, gauging her reaction, and ready on a whim to toss the fucking thing across the room should it get to overwhelming to her.
But she keeps on reading, and they continue to work their way through the pages, looking over the pictures of their kitchen that were - to Jax's relief - taken long after she'd been rushed out of there by ambulance. He didn't need an actual picture of that moment, it was already forever burned into his mind and he hopes as time went by, it would eventually fade more and more.
He points some things out to her that he thinks might help her remember or at the least ease her mind about her own actions that night. Like her purse still sitting on the kitchen table, and according to the report nothing of value was missing, including her gun. He flips a couple pages ahead, to show her the report where it says they tested her hands for gunpowder residue, but there had been none. So her idea that she might've fired at Juice was out of the question.
They examined everything further, both of them in an almost too matter-of-fact kind of manner, in an blaringly obvious effort to detach themselves from how that night had derailed both of their lives, and could've scared their boys for years to come.
There's more pictures. Gruesome. Pictures taken at the hospital of her wounds. Not just the ones to her head, but other bruises on her body too. Jax can't help but cringe at the sight of them, even after having seen them countless times before, it still gets to him.
Then there's the ones that show all the blood tinted water in the sink, the blood smeared all along the dishwasher and cabinets, broken dishes scattered all around, and at last a puddle of her blood on the floor.
But Tara's not even flinching, she's much too invested now, she's somehow able to detach herself from the reality that this was all her blood, and he can't help but feel a sense of pride at how well she's handling looking at all of this stuff, because despite his best efforts he still has to fight to keep the bile from rising in his throat at some of this shit.
Then the next set of pictures are of him, the main suspect found at the scene of the crime. So before they took all of his clothing into evidence, they photographed him too. There's pictures of him from all different kinds of angles and now Tara finally loses that brave face she's put on this whole entire time, at the sight of him from that night.
There's some blood on his clothing, and dried blood on his arm, smeared distasteful over the letters of his Thomas-tattoo from when he'd held her. But what stands out the most to Tara above all else is his face. It's what truly devastates her, the haunted expression on his face, the bleakness in his eyes, the eyes that are still holding tears even as these pictures were being taken.
And her heart aches so much for him when she takes it all in, and she turns her head towards him then, dropping the folders to her lap and reaches for him, kissing his sweet face and clinging to him for a long silent moment.
She's been the one that was so viciously attacked, yet now, as she looks at all this evidence, the pictures of him, she's finally able to see past her own issues and suffering, and feel some of his pain too. She can't imagine what he must've gone through, can't fathom it if roles had been reversed and she'd found him like that on their kitchen floor.
And yes, she knows he's told her countless times how he'd thought she was dead at first, or how he wondered if he'd ever get to see her again, but as that old saying goes - a picture is worth a thousand words - and it never rang more true to her than right this moment.
Tara sobs just a little, and Jax fights not to join her, instead some silent tears slip from his eyes while they cling to each other so tightly, so desperately. They remain like that for a little while, letting it all out before they manage to put themselves together again. One kiss and gentle touch at a time.
But eventually they wipe the tears away, and turn their attention back to the files, even looking through the second one too, which was about Eli, but naturally contained some stuff that pertained to her as well.
But as far as regaining her memory was concerned, nothing has happened, at least not yet, but she was thankful nonetheless that Jax had finally let her see all this, because it does answer some things she had spend hours upon hours wondering about. Along the few other details that she now knew, even though she'd never really wondered about.
She knew now that she didn't pull nor fire a gun that afternoon. There were ironed clothes, and an ironing board, yet no iron to be found anywhere in the house, which suggested it was used as a weapon against her and had been taken. She imagined it was the cause for the bruises on her body.
What exactly caused the puncture wounds to the back of her neck and head couldn't be determined, all they knew was that it was something rather pointy, but blunt ... not sharp, like a knife. None of the cutlery around the kitchen turned out to be it, so that key evidence had been taken by Juice as well.
The police and the feds didn't know what kind of weapon Juice carried, but Jax did, and he knew that the bullet remnants that had been retrieved from Eli's body were a match to the ammo used in the gun Juice was carrying. Further evidence at Juice's guilt.
Jax didn't know why Juice did what he did, and he feared they may never know the truth why, but nonetheless he decided to share his own thoughts on what he believed had happened that day with Tara, based on all the evidence in these two files spread out before them.
He believed that her and Eli must've been standing in the kitchen when Juice entered the house. He must've fired at Eli, who had his back still turned, first, but before he was able to fire at her, she'd somehow gotten the gun away from him.
Maybe she'd thrown something at him, he couldn't be sure, but he pictured that a struggle ensued, maybe even for the upper hand to get to that gun again first, which ended in him hitting her with the iron and ultimately stabbing and trying to drown her instead.
The way the place looked after, he knew she'd put up a hell of a fight, but what ultimately saved her was Juice's negligence in not realizing that she wasn't dead. He was too worried disposing of the weapons, even went so far to wipe some of the blood up, yet left the dirty rag, and in the end he left the biggest piece of evidence behind, by letting her live.
Tara let Jax's theory sink in, seeing that the details from what was in those files seemed to collaborate with what they'd already known after Juice had gone after her for the second time in the hospital.
But now, after yet another disturbing rollercoaster, they were both exhausted, not just physically, but all of this had taken another emotional toll on them.
Jax stashed the files away in the bedroom closet, high up, so that the boys wouldn't accidently find them and be scared by the pictures of the horrific scene that had taken place in the house they used to call home.
He wanted a cigarette so badly, but despite his fiending of some nicotine, he just couldn't bring himself to leave her side right now for long. So instead he hurried when he double checked that the front door was locked and bolted, that the security chain was in place, before he went about the apartment to turn the TV and all the lights off too.
Back in the darkened bedroom, he quickly slipped beneath the blankets right beside her.
She turned around to face him, a little afraid of what tonight's dreams might bring, she reached out to him, her hand on his arm, "Can you hold me, please?"
"Of course." He said and pulled her into his embrace at once, kissing the top of her head again, relishing the scent of her filling his nostrils again.
A beat or two passed silently, before he spoke, "I love you, babe."
"I love you, Jackson." She answered in a whisper against his chest, "... so much."
X
The next three weeks seemingly went by more quickly, and also less drama filled, which was nice for a change.
He has had to work late on occasion, and so did she. But whenever they were both at home, they were all about spending quality time as a family. Which meant lots of board and card games in the middle of the week, impromptu trips to the ice-cream parlor in town, and even more frequent visits to the playground that the boys loved so much.
About two weeks ago, they'd spend Thanksgiving with Misses Ellie, her daughter. Both of which had also done most of the cooking, since, unlike Jax, Tara had to work for a couple of hours that very morning. But overall, it had been a nice day spend with good food and good people.
A day or two after that, Jax got a long awaited call from Bobby. Back when Sam Crow started Diosa Norte, Jax had used the majority of his own cash to front the starting cost, everything from the renovations, and decorations of the old Elks Lodge, along with the starting pay of some of the girls. But finally, Bobby called, letting him know that the money Sam Crow still owed him was finally washed, and they'd be able to write him a big juicy check outright in the upcoming days. He'd have to pay some taxes on it doing it this way, but Lowen was already consulting with a colleague of hers, who specialized in tax laws and would find a work-around that would be getting him the most bang for his buck, so to speak. Needless to say Jax was elated that he'd finally have some much needed cash on hand again.
Tara and him still hadn't combined their banks accounts again yet, but he'd pretty much been writing her a check every pay period, over the exact amount of his paycheck, since all the household bills were being paid out of her account alone. Rent, utilities, grocery's, Abel's preschool ... you name it, she was paying it.
That had only left him with the monthly payments Bobby and Chibs had been sending him when they'd bought his share of TM from him months ago. It wasn't much, but with the few savings he still had, it had been enough to pay for his gas and insurance, for the truck and the bikes, his nicotine addiction and also the odd thing here and there he'd pick up on occasion for Tara or the boys on his way home.
So having money coming his way, big money, was lifting a weight off of his shoulders he hadn't even realized was there, considering everything else that had been going on between them, and not to forget the reappearance of the Kohn problem.
But he hadn't told Tara just yet about the windfall that was coming their way, because he wanted to have the check in hand, or even better, deposited in the bank, before he'd share the good news with her. Things concerning the MC went sideways more often than not, so he'd keep his mouth shut until it was a done deal.
He already had some plans for the money though, and hopefully she'd agree. Once he had that cash, he wanted to start looking for a better and bigger place for them.
Instead of an apartment, he wanted to find a house with a yard big enough for a swing and a slide, with at least two more bedrooms than this place, so the boys wouldn't have to share a room anymore, and a garage too, so he'd be able to store his bikes at home, instead of having to leave them locked away at Baker's Automotives. He could already envision the look on Tara's face when he'd tell her. She'd love it.
There was nothing that made him happier than to see his wife and boys be happy too. Seeing them smile could almost make him forget all the horrible shit that has happened in their past.
He tried to focus on the good as much as he could, instead of dwelling on the bad, like the truth about Gemma, that still haunted him when he'd let his mind drift there, or the fact that Juice was still at large, and in turn him and his little family were happier than they'd been in a long time.
So everything was going great right now, and they were finally doing better emotionally too.
Tara in particular felt so much more at ease around him, falling asleep comfortably in his arms night after night, and he credited it to the fact that he was not pushing her about sex as he had before.
Sure, they still had the occasional make-out session on the couch after the boys were asleep, some of them quite hot and heavy, but he'd been respectful of her wishes, and in turn he saw such a change in her in just a few weeks time, that it now furthered his resolve to wait it out, and let her be the one to approach him about taking that next step.
It wasn't easy by any means, because every day he wanted her more now than ever, but he knew doing this her way was the right way to go about really fixing what was broken between them.
So overall, they had been happy, but tonight, something was about to change, and it wasn't necessarily for the better, but he didn't know that just yet.
He'd already fed and bathed the boys, and had just gotten done reading to them, ready to tuck them into bed for the night, when he heard the apartment door unlock. It was already past eight thirty by the time she came through the door, but she was glad she'd made it just in the nick of time to at least give their boys a hug and a good night kiss, especially considering the news she was about to share with their father.
She stepped out of the boys' room and followed the smell of food in the air that led her all the way to the kitchen. Jax had picked up some Thai food on his way home earlier, and while Tara was busy tucking in the boys for the night, he'd fixed her a plate and had even heated it up for her already.
"Thank you." She said, giving him a quick kiss on the lips, and looked up at him gratefully when she saw the plate he'd just put on the table for her. Her schedule had changed so much today that she hadn't had a bite to eat all day, and by now she was hungry, to say the least.
"How was your day?" She asked him, before she began to eat.
"Pretty good actually. We got pretty busy for a while, but we all got out of there on time." Jax said, putting the last of the dishes from the sink into the dishwasher and spun around to face her, leaning back against the kitchen counter behind him.
"Yours?" He asked in return, his eyes trained on her now completely, because he could sense there was something off about her tonight.
Tara nodded, "Mine was good too, ... mostly." She added, before she took another bite, and Jax raised his eyebrows curiously, not so much at her words, but more to the tone in her voice.
She continued to eat, taking a few sips of her water too, when the spiciness of the curry was beginning to get to her. But Jax remained quiet, giving her a moment to finish up her plate, before he'd confront her what had her looking so on edge tonight.
A few more bites, and Tara was done. She stood, rinsed the plate in the sink and placed it in the dishwasher herself, ignoring Jax's eyes on her every move, while she proceeded to start the dishwasher now.
But then she turned back towards him, leaning against the counter too, mimicking his stance right beside him, when she finally looked over and met his eyes.
"What's wrong, babe?" He said, not liking the vibe he was getting from her. Why did she seem so nervous?
"I have to tell you something." She started, and reached for his arm, as if she was already trying to comfort him for what she was about to spring on him next.
She sighed deeply, and met his eyes straight on, a flash of guilt in her eyes. "There's a medical conference in Boise, and I have to go to represent Medford Memorial."
Jax let the breath out he'd been holding, realizing that this wasn't at all the kind of bad news he'd anticipated. Juggling the kids on his own for a few days he could deal with ... this was nothing!
"Idaho?" He asked, confirming that's the Boise she was talking about, and Tara simply nods.
"When?" Comes his next question, still slightly confused why she was so nervous to tell him about this.
"The day after tomorrow. I'll be gone for five days, filling in last minute for someone else. The hospital already changed the booked flight into my name, it leaves around noon." Tara replied without missing a beat.
"Shit, that's fast." He answered, wondering some more if that's what had her worked up.
"Yeah, I know." She nods yet again, folding her hands in front of her chest, and he can see that flash of guilt in her eyes once more now, while she remains suspiciously quiet.
"It's short notice, but I sense that's not what's got you all twisted up." Jax can't stand this another minute longer. "Babe, just spit it out already?"
"You're right, it's not." She confirmed, and looks now anywhere but at him when she finally adds the bit of news she just knows will probably result in a fight, "Including me, there's a total of five of us going, and one of them is John."
"Jesus Christ." The curse escaped his lips instantly, his voice raised. "You've got to be fucking kiddin' me."
"I wish I was." She replied, even though she knew he'd said it in a rhetorical sense. She dared a look up at him now, her eyes pleading with him to understand, "I've really tried to get out of it, because I know this wouldn't sit right with you."
"Yeah. No shit." He replied, his voice dripping with anger and sarcasm.
Now that the ugly news has been revealed, she just wants to reassure him as best as she can that he's got nothing to worry about. She leans into him beside her, places a few sweet kisses against his shoulder, "I know how much you hate this, but you know that you've got nothing to worry about, right?" She wants so much to hear him say it that he knows that to be true.
But Jax is pissed, and the more he thinks about it, the more pissed he gets. "So this conference, ... it's at a hotel or some shit? Same hotel all of you are gonna be staying at?"
When she just nods her answer, he wants to punch a wall or something ... the thought of that fucker prancing around his girl nonstop for five uninterrupted days and nights in some fancy fucking hotel has him seeing red.
Deep down he knows she's faithful and loyal to a fault, wouldn't risk what they've been working so hard to get back to. She's smarter than him and wouldn't make his kind of mistakes, but knowing all of that doesn't help him in the least. He can't help the way he feels, he wish he could, but he just can't.
Jax grabbed his cigarettes and lighter off of the kitchen counter, then reaches for his keys on the kitchen table before he quickly turns and without another word heads for the door.
"Jax." Tara cried after him, "Please don't leave now, not like this."
"Don't wait up." Is all he replied angrily, not looking back before he slips out the apartment door.
X
Author's Note: Thank you for the wonderful outpour of support for this story with all the reviews and private messages I've been receiving. Knowing my readers are eager to read more, helps so much to stay motivated to write. Please continue to let me know what you think. Can't wait to hear from all of you. xoxo, Skater