You And Me And Our Boys Chapter 35, a sons of anarchy fanfic

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Jax wasn't entirely sure what exactly had brought him back to this particular place. He must've passed at least a handful of bars on this random drive around town, but still ended up back here somehow, at Old Joe's Tavern. The scene of the crime!

But as he stepped further into the smoke filled bar, and let his eyes wander around the place, he knew that deep down he'd hoped to meet that scumbag that had insulted her months ago. There was nothing like beating some shithead to a pulp to let off some much needed steam.

To his dismay, Charlie wasn't here, or at least he couldn't see him. And neither was Frank, the barkeeper from that night, not that that mattered either.

So Jax took a seat at the bar, lit a cigarette and ordered a beer, already regretting having picked this place the more he looked around. It was just too fucking noisy in here, too loud to even hear yourself think, but then again, maybe it was better if he pushed the thinking back a bit until he wasn't this pissed off anymore.

But then, as the nicotine and the second beer slowly began to do some of their magic, he managed to drown out the people and the music, that was playing way too loud, too. And he began to think. Thinking and wondering to himself why he'd flown off the handle like he had and left her behind in that apartment, probably sad, or pissed, or both. She didn't deserve that.

Tara wasn't the problem here, not really. She'd never cheated on him before, and he knew she wasn't going to start now that they were actually trying to work their shit out. In the end, she wanted the same thing he did, be a family again, raise them boys together, grow old together. She wanted all that happily-ever-after stuff, as crazy as it sounded, since they'd started dating at sixteen.

His whole issue with this out-of-town trip was John. When Tara had told him over two months ago that they'd broken things off, he'd been elated, and had barely given that guy another thought since he'd assumed John was out of the picture. But come to find out now that he's been working at the same goddamn place with her, day in and day out. And yes, his specialty was neurology and she was working in neonatal perinatal medicine, but it still ate at him that he probably saw her at least once a day if not more ... and now he'd get to be around her, for five fucking days and nights, putting god knows what kind of ideas in her head.

Just then someone brought him out of his thoughts.

"Is this seat taken?" A woman in her early thirties asked, she had long brown hair and bright red lipstick, giving him the eye.

Jax shook his head, "No, it's not."

"Thanks." She answered, and settled into the barstool beside him, putting her black clutch onto the bar in front of her. With her eyes trained on the barkeeper, she waved her hand at him, trying to get his attention, and when she finally did, she went ahead and ordered a drink.

Jax lit another cigarette, finished off the rest of his beer and nodded at the barkeeper too, ordering another one, before he even noticed her eyes on him.

"Can I borrow a light?" She asked, cigarette in hand, which she quickly raised to her lips once Jax held out his lighter to light it for her. "Thanks." She answered, before taking in another drag.

She eyed him some more, "So what brings you here tonight?"

Jax gave her a side glance, before he exhaled a stream of smoke, and answered sarcastically, "Needed some peace and quiet."

She laughed at the obvious joke, "Well, you definitely landed in the wrong place then." A beat or two past, her eyes still on him, while Jax played absentmindedly with his lighter, his cigarette hanging from his lip. "Aren't you gonna ask me?"

Jax raised his eyebrows at her in confusion for a minute, before he caught on what she was saying, "What brings you here?"

At that she smiled, glad that he was playing along, she took a long drag of her cigarette, dragging out the answer and enjoying to have his undivided attention at the moment, "I guess I'm here, 'cause I'm looking to have a little fun tonight."

He had been too wrapped up in his head with this shit about Tara and that John guy, that it just now dawned on him that this chick was not just flirting a little, but she was coming on to him ... strong.

"Shit, you're not into wasting time, are you?" Jax said with a chuckle. "Sorry, but I'm not the guy for that." He tried to set her straight right of the bat, there was really no need to drag this out any longer. She looked beautiful, and the bar was full with guys that would probably loved to take her up on having some fun.

"Really? You don't like having some fun?" She asked, her eyes meeting his as she leaned in a little more towards him, and placed her hand over his on top of the bar. "You look like the right guy to me." She teased, giving him her best seductive smile.

But Jax pulled his hand out from under hers, and raised it just enough to show off his wedding band, "I'm married." He said, his voice stern, no longer chuckling at her flirtatious act.

She raised her left hand just the same, showing off her sparkling diamond ring, "So am I. And yet we both are here, in this bar, alone ... on a weeknight at that." She added to drive home her point.

"Look, whatever reason you had that made you sit down next to me and strike up this conversation, it's not going to happen, darlin'. You're just wasting your time and your breath on me." Jax replied without missing a beat, he turned towards her just a little, to better meet her eyes. "I'm happily married. And I'm gonna be leaving this bar alone, going home to my smoking-hot wife, having fun with her, and her alone."

But she was relentless, and smiled once more at him, "There's plenty of fun to be had without ever leaving this bar, handsome." She crooned, and winked at him playfully.

"He's not interested. He made that pretty clear, so how about you take the fucking hint." Tara's voice boomed angrily over the loud music, as she was coming to a standstill right next to Jax, who was staring at her with a mixture of pride and guilt in his eyes.

"Who the fuck are you? And how is any of this your business?" Said the pretty brunette, giving Tara a scrutinizing look, from her head down to her high heels.

"I'm his wife, so it is my fucking business." Tara replied faster than Jax could put in his two cents, and the look in her eyes let the other woman know she was beyond pissed off.

Jax couldn't be sure if it had been Tara's words or the I-will-kill-you-look in her eyes that did the trick, but the woman finally took the hint, stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray, grabbed her clutch and her drink and slid off of the barstool without another word or another look at Jax or Tara.

Tara scoffed, sounding angry when she spoke, "Guess things don't change, the slutty ones still gravitate towards you like some goddamn moths to the fucking flame." Then she spun around on her heels, and headed back for the door, ignoring Jax yelling after her.

"TARA ... Babe, wait." Jax called, before he quickly threw some cash on the bar to cover his tab and hurried after her. "Tara."

But Tara had already slipped out the door, and Jax was just about to follow too, when his eyes landed on Charlie, on the other end of the bar, throwing darts with his fucking buddies. But as much as he had wanted to go a round or two with that asshole earlier tonight, now was no longer the time. He had a pissed off wife to catch up with.

He caught up with Tara just as she was opening the door to her car, that she had parked right across the street from the bar.

"Tara." He said again as he was just a few feet from her, "Where are you going?"

Now she finally stopped long enough to look up at him, "Home, Jax. Now that I know you're not here to get laid, I'm going back home." The tone in her voice was flat, leaving him clueless just how she was feeling, but her eyes gave it away.

The street was dark, except for what little light the neon signs above the bar entrance emitted, along with the poorly working streetlights scattered here and there, but still, he could see the flash of anger in her eyes as clear as day at the moment. "Jesus, babe, you really thought I'd be that fucking stupid? After everything that's happened, you think I'd do that to you again?"

Tara stilled her hand on the car door, looking down towards the ground averting her eyes, "I don't know what to think anymore, Jax, not when everything is going good between us, and then you just fucking leave like you did tonight." He could hear the emotions rising by the sound of her voice now, and they weren't pretty.

"I'm sorry." He said apologetically, and had finally rounded the car to her side, "And I know I'm hard to love ... I know I don't make it easy when I act like this." He tipped her chin up now, forcing her to look up at him. "But I'd never hurt you like that again, never, babe, I promise."

Their eyes remained locked on each other for a long silent moment, before Jax finally spoke again. "You believe me, don't you?"

"I'm trying to." She answered as honestly as she could.

Jax framed her face and kissed her lips, soft and sweet, before he rested his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry I stormed out, alright? Can we just go somewhere ... and talk?"

"Now you wanna talk?" Tara asked rather snarky in return, knowing full well that she was not making any of this easy on him.

"I do." He nodded and pulled away enough to be able to look her in the eyes again, "I'm guessing Misses Ellie's staying with the boys." He wrapped his arms around her waist, locking his hands behind her back.

Tara nodded, "Yeah."

"Then let's go do something. Let's go someplace quiet, where we can talk." He said with way too much enthusiasm then was necessary, but Tara knew he was just trying to sound more optimistic than he had before he'd stormed out earlier. "Come on, babe?"

"Okay." Tara nodded again.

"Alright, I'll follow you home, so you can drop off your car, and then we go someplace, alone." He confirmed again, still seeing the reluctance in her eyes, but she nodded again.

"I'll see you at home." And with that, Jax let go off her long enough so she could get into her car, he closed the door for her, before he jogged back across the street to his parked truck and took off right after her.

They had found another little bar on the other side of town, closer to the apartment actually, and it was a much nicer and more relaxed atmosphere altogether. The music that played was picked by the guests, via a jukebox that was actually hooked up to different speakers across the place, but it wasn't loud and obnoxious like Old Joe's Tavern was.

The place wasn't packed at all, and Jax and Tara settled at a little round table, with just two chairs, off in the corner, having virtually no one close enough to even hear what they were talking about.

"I didn't do anything to deserve the way you acted." Tara finally jumped right into the conversation they'd come here to have. "I knew you wouldn't be happy when I told you, I expected that, but I didn't expect you to run off like you did. This conference, it's part of my job. And as far as John goes, I have no interest in him whatsoever, Jax. If I wanted to be with him, I would still be with him."

"But he's still very much interested in you." Jax countered. "I saw the way he looked at you, and the shit he said to piss me off. He made it pretty fucking clear that he still wants to be with you."

"So?" Tara threw back, "I've lost count how many girls tried to get with you while we were together. So should I've been holding their actions over your head? Should I be pissed at you for how someone else feels about you? Something you have absolutely no control over?"

"No, of course not." Jax replied quickly and shook his head along to his words. "I trust you completely, babe. I just don't fucking trust him."

"I know this is going to sound like I'm defending him, but I swear, up until that day of my appointment, and him meeting you, he hasn't acted at all like he was still interested in me. I know what he said, and how he acted and how that came across to you, and to me too, but I swear, baby, that was the first time since our break up that he'd made it seem like he still cared. I honestly don't know what's going on with him. The way he acted around you wasn't like him."

"You're right, it sounds like you're defending him." Jax quipped back, clearly agitated.

A long moment of silence stretched out between them, while they both nursed their beers.

"Okay." Tara suddenly conceded, and let out a deep breath, "Let's just pretend for the sake of this conversation, that he is still interested in me. Now what? You're gonna be mad at me because I've gotta go to this conference? I mean, what do you want me to do, Jax?" She searched his face for answers, watching him take another swig from his bud light.

He put the beer down on the table between them, and swiped his hand down his face in an obvious display of frustration. "I'm not gonna be mad, alright? I guess, ... I guess I'm just not used to having competition for you, at least not of this kind."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tara looked at him puzzled.

Jax lit up another smoke, leaned back in his chair a little more comfortable, trying to appear more at ease when he was actually more on edge now that he was about to spill his guts to her. He took a long drag, letting the smoke escaped through his nostrils first, then the remainder through his mouth, "It's like goddamn Hale back in High School all over again."

"Oh my god." Tara sighed in utter frustration. She couldn't believe they were having this conversation again after all these years. "I was never interested in David that way. And you know that, Jax." This was so ridiculous.

"Yeah." Jax nodded, "But I do remember how everyone thought you should've been interested in him, like he was in you. The fucking looks we got, wondering why this perfect all-american-girl would pick the white-trash-biker-boy over the star quarterback of Charming High, with the fucking scholarship options to play for almost any school of his choosing."

"Oh, you meant that same scholarship he lost, when he busted his knee ... and so he ended up back in Charming with the rest of us." Tara corrected the turn of events with a heavy dose of sarcasm in her voice, having a hard time to refrain from rolling her eyes at him at this point. "And let's not forget where he is now."

"My point is, everyone always saw you with me and wondered, What the fuck is she doing with him?"

"That's not true." Tara shook her head, because that truly wasn't how she remembered it.

"Like hell it's not." Jax scoffed in response, and then added. "At least back then in Charming, I eventually prospected, and patched in, and I became someone, I became Sam Crow. And finally the looks we got changed."

"Yes, and you had to wear that cut everywhere we went, because you couldn't let anyone forget even for a second that you were the fucking heir to the Sam Crow throne. So you wore the cut, because it was your calling, while everyone else of us merely had a job." Tara added angrily, thinking back herself now, before she posed the next question, "But what does any of that have to do with John?"

"It has to do with John, because I'm right back there again. You've got this smart, rich, good-looking hot-shot surgeon chasing after you, ... and here I am, just some fucking mechanic." He averted his eyes, staring off into the distance of the bar, taking another drag from his smoke. "Do you really think I don't know that you can do so much better than me, babe?" There, it was out, the truth about his ugly insecurities he's been struggling with every since he's met Dr. John Seward!

Tara was stunned speechless. Confused. Never in a million years had she suspected for Jax to feel insecure about himself ... ever. He was the most arrogant and cocky man she'd ever known, and this was so utterly unlike him, so out of character, that for a moment, she didn't even know what to say to that. It simply seemed so surreal.

"Jax." She finally said trying to get his attention, but he still wouldn't look at her. "I'm sorry if I'm not the kind of old lady you were hoping for."

At that he suddenly looked over at her, confusion in his eyes now as he tried to understand what she meant by that. But before he could ask, Tara rambled on.

"I have my own career. I make my own money. So I don't need his or yours for that matter. And I don't care that you're just a mechanic ... as a matter of fact, I prefer you being just that, if it means you're not longer Sam Crow. And as far as John goes, I don't love him. It's as simple as that." Tara stood from her chair and rounded the small table with just a few steps.

Jax watched her from his seat, looking up at her as she stood between his legs looking back down at him for a long silent moment. Then she made herself comfortable sitting on his lap, curling her arms around his neck and leaned her forehead against his when Jax wrapped his arms around her in turn.

Tara finally broke the silence when she quietly said, "I'm not going to be dating anyone else for the rest of my life. I'm not going to love anyone else for the rest of my life. And aside from becoming the mother of your children, the most important moment for me was when I became your wife, Jackson. You and our boys are everything I've always wanted. After everything we've been through to get here, don't you realize how much I love you?"

He couldn't deny how much her declarations of love still made him feel to this day. He didn't deserve her. She could do so much better than him, but hell would freeze over if he'd ever let her slip through his fingers again. She was his, and he'd never let her go again! Never!

"I love you too, babe." Jax replied, and after another long silent minute of looking into each other's eyes, he finally leaned in and kissed her. Long and hard and passionately.

Eventually the kiss let up, and they just sat happily and content wrapped up in one another for a little while, sharing another cigarette, before Jax realized that the music had stopped playing altogether and his eyes drifted over to the wall where the Jukebox stood.

He patted Tara's butt playfully, "Get up for a sec." He said and when she did, he quickly stood and walked over to the machine, his cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth as he looked over the selection of songs for a few moments.

He pulled some change from his pocket and fed it to the machine, making his selection and turned around, looking back at her and smiled when he curled his finger repeatedly for her to come on over to him.

They met halfway when the song started playing and Tara once more wrapped her arms around his neck, while he wrapped his arms around her back, holding her close as they began to sway to the music in rhythm.

So far all you could hear was the instrumental part, the singing hadn't started yet, but Tara recognized the song and lifted her head off of his shoulder just long enough to look back up at him and said, "Good choice, Teller."

Jax smirked as he moved them to the nearest table so he could stub out his cigarette, and said, "Yeah, I thought so too."

When the road gets dark

And you can no longer see

Just let my love throw a spark

And have a little faith in me

And when the tears you cry

Are all you can believe

Just give these loving arms a try, baby

And have a little faith in me

When your secret heart

Cannot speak so easily

Come here darlin'

From a whisper start

To have a little faith in me

And when your back's against the wall

Just turn around and you, you will see

I will catch you, I will catch your fall, baby

Just have a little faith in me

And have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me

Well, I've been loving you for such a long time, girl

Expecting nothing in return

Just for you to have a little faith in me

You see time, time is our friend

'Cause for us there is no end

And all you gotta do is have a little faith in me

I said I will hold you up, I will hold you up

Your love gives me strength enough

So have a little faith in me

The next day Jax showed up at the hospital unannounced during his lunch break, but instead of looking for Tara, he went to the Neurology floor again, in search of John.

He simply couldn't stand the thought of this guy getting to make time with his wife and even though he knew that Tara wouldn't approve, he just had to get some stuff off of his chest.

After a few very insistent words with the receptionist, and a phone call from her to John, the man actually showed up and allowed Jax to follow him into his office so they could have a talk, man-to-man.

"So what is this about?" John asked and settled into his leather chair behind his desk.

This far, Jax had been more than civil since he's arrived here, mostly because he wanted to get his foot in the door, but now that the bastard was looking at him all smug from the other side of his desk, it took all the willpower he had in him to not reach across and strangle him.

But Jax bit back the anger surging through him as best as he could, "It's about you still being interested in my wife."

John looked surprised, but not really surprised at the subject itself, but more about the fact that Jax was here to talk to him about this.

"Does Tara know you're here?" John asked in response to what Jax had said.

"No, and she really doesn't need to. This is just me telling you to back the fuck off." Jax said, through clenched teeth now. Even he couldn't explain to himself why this guy in front of him had such a deep impact on him, especially after everything Tara had said to him just last night.

"Tara and I have been broken up for a while now. Pretty much since the weekend you showed up here in town. So I'm not exactly sure what your problem is?" John said in a calm and even voice, unlike Jax's from just a few seconds ago.

"Look, you can sit here and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, but we both know that you wish you could get her back. She might not see it, but I did the last time we spoke, so you can cut the shit. And I'm just here to tell you, that Tara and I are back together, and if you're trying to get between us, you'll regret, man." Jax said suddenly sounding much more restrained than he had when he'd first walked in.

John leaned forward now, and folded his arms in front of him, eyeing Jax with much more scrutiny. "The only pull you have over her is the fact that you're the father of her sons. But sooner or later she'll realize that that's not enough to build a life on anymore. She said you're a good father, it's one thing she's always said, how much you love your sons ... but the fact that she always pointed that out, told me only one thing. That you weren't a good husband, and you still aren't, coming here behind her back."

"You don't know shit about me." Jax spit back angrily all over again.

"I know enough." John replied. "I know that you've lied and cheated, that your gang was the reason she got injured like she did. And I also know that despite everything you've done to her, she just keeps coming back for more. Until the next time she gets hurt because of you. Or murdered." He scoffed and shook his head, "She's a beautiful woman, but she must be some kind of masochist being with you, because god knows she sure as shit doesn't respond to kindness."

Jax rounded the desk and yanked John up by the lapels of his white doctor coat, before he pushed him hard against the wall behind him with a loud thud. "You ever talk about my wife that way again, I'll kill you."

But John didn't seem intimidated at all, he practically grinned back at Jax when he said, "You wanna hit me? Go ahead, man. It'll show everyone just how civilized you are now ... show Tara how civilized you are, the reformed Outlaw."

Jax let go of him then, but he was still seething with anger, "Stay the fuck away from my wife. Or I'll show you exactly what I'm capable off. Outlaw or not."

Two days later, Jax and Tara stood in the airport terminal, looking at each other with sad eyes. These next five days were going to be pretty hectic for Jax, having to take care of the boys on his own, on top of going to work three out of the five days. After having the benefits of co-parenting with him, she could honestly say she didn't envy him having to do this solo for the next couple of days. Thank god for Misses Ellie and Christy helping out too.

They stood right outside the security checkpoint, it was as far as Jax was allowed to follow her.

"I'll text you as soon as I land." Tara reassured him.

"Okay." Jax replied and rested his forehead against hers, wrapping his hands around her waist. "I'll fucking miss you so much, babe. I hate this."

"I know." Tara replied, clinging to him as well. "I'll go by so quick, because we're both gonna be so busy ... time will fly."

"I hope so." Jax nodded, and leaned in now for another kiss that quickly turned passionate.

After a few long minutes, Tara reluctantly pulled away, glancing at her wristwatch, "I gotta go." She said and leaned in for another quick peck against his lips, "I'll be back before you know it. It's just a few days." She tried to remind him.

"I know." He said, he knew he was being ridiculous. "I know we've been through so much worse shit, than being apart for five lousy days, but man, it just feels different now. Now that I have you back."

Tara smiled, "That's so sweet." She kissed him again. "Tell the boys I love them and I miss them, and I'll call tonight. I'll try to call before they're in bed, okay?"

"Alright, babe." Jax hugged her close to him, kissing her temple this time. "Have fun, but not too much." He smiled.

She kissed him on the lips once more, before she finally headed towards the security checkpoint. Jax watched her present her boarding pass and ID, and unpack her laptop and a few other things from her carryon bag, and continued to watch her until he couldn't see her any more.

That's when he was finally headed for the airport exit, because he knew he needed to get back to work, even though he couldn't shake this feeling in his gut, that told him, that something was going to go wrong.

Author's Note: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews and PM I've received. I appreciate it so much. I hope you're enjoying this chapter and leave me a few words in form of a comment or a review. Thanks.