Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

X

Tara finally arrived at her assigned seat on the plane, eager to just sit and close her eyes and try to catch up on a little bit of sleep on this almost three hour flight. She checked her boarding pass once more, glad to see that she had the window seat and quickly settled in, pushing her carryon bag underneath the seat in front of her, before she buckled up and already closed her eyes while everyone around her was still getting situated.

"Just my luck." His voice boomed over the conversations all around them and Tara didn't need to open her eyes to know it was John.

"Excuse me?" She blinked and looked up at him then, catching a glimpse of him as he stowed his carryon bag in the overhead bin. She cursed inwardly, when she realized he was getting ready to sit down right next to her. Awesome!

"I said, it's just my luck." John finally sat down beside her, glancing at his phone one last time, before stowing it in the small pouch beneath the food tray right in front of him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tara gave him a side eye, hoping that the next five days wouldn't end up being this awkward like the first couple of minutes have already been.

"It means, your husband told me to stay away from you, so of course fate would have it that our seats are right next to one another."

"What are you talking about? When did Jax talk to you?" Tara straightened up in her seat, giving John her full attention now as she eyed him curiously for an answer.

"Yesterday." John answered without missing a beat. "He came by my office." He eyed Tara for a long moment, seeing the disbelieve in her eyes. "I guess he didn't tell you." He feigned innocence, but having predicted that the biker wasn't going to fill her in on what had transpired.

"No." Tara shook her head, "He didn't." She looked away from him then, focusing her attention elsewhere, looking out the window as she thought about what John had just revealed to her.

She should've seen this coming, should've expected Jax to take a more active role in this situation. He'd never been good at just sitting on the sidelines and letting the chips fall where they may, although, and maybe that's what frustrated her so much about this, he'd always expected her to do just that.

To sit and wait for him to handle it, for him to come home from a run, for the RICO case to disappear, for the cartel shit to blow over, for things with the club to calm down again, and last but not least for the charges against her to be dropped. But none of those things ever happened with her just idly sitting by either.

So she supposed, another man being interested in her was more than enough cause for Jax to be up and arms, but then again, maybe now that he had a face to face with John, he got it out of his system, and this would be the end of it. Or at least she could hope it would be.

She even thought for a second to apologize on his behalf, in an attempt to put this thing to rest somehow, but then thought better of it. John had been out of line, so Jax would hate it if she apologized for something he'd done in return.

Tara turned to John once more then, "You did kind of provoke him that day you two first met." Her and John had already had this talk the day after their little run-in, but she thought it was worth mentioning again. Jax did have a reason to not like the guy.

John nodded, "I know." He studied her expression for a long moment, and gave her a sad smile, "I guess it was just easier to pretend that we were just on a break, until I saw you with him."

"John." Tara said alarmed by what he was implying, "Please don't make this any more awkward than it already is. I'm back with my husband, end of story." She said with conviction in her voice.

"I know. That's become painfully obvious now." John replied, and buckled his seatbelt now, looking away and pretending to follow along to the flight attendants safety instruction a couple of rows ahead.

Tara sighed, and shifted just a little more towards the window, away from him, before she closed her eyes and tried her best to find some sleep after all, but now it was much harder to do so. Once the plane was actually in the air, she gave up on trying to rest and instead pulled her laptop from her carryon, and for the hundredth times read over all of the notes and talking points for the conference instead to keep her mind from going back to this rivalry between Jax and John.

X

Jax sat at the kitchen table, with Thomas' plate in front of him, cutting up his chicken nuggets into smaller bites, before he put the plate of food back in front of his youngest boy.

Both the boys were hungry, and ate all their food without complaining at all, but then again, there wasn't much to complain about chicken nuggets with macaroni and cheese on the side. It was fast, easy and most important of all it was something Jax knew his sons would devour without pitching a fit. Tara wouldn't be happy that there wasn't a vegetable in sight tonight.

He in turn had picked up a sandwich at the deli down the street for himself, which he was eating just now as he kept an close eye on his sons.

Abel and Thomas were eating rather silently, which wasn't really like them. Usually around dinner time, they were very lively, animated even, especially Abel going on and on about what he'd learned or done in preschool that day. But that wasn't the case today, and it suddenly dawned on him that they were acting kind of off.

"Hey." Jax broke the silence, and was rewarded with both his sons' blue eyes focused on him right away. "What's going on? You two are usually not this quiet, boys?" He tried to ease into the conversation, already suspecting what this was about.

"I'm okay." Abel answered at first, and focused his attention back to his food.

But Thomas held his gaze, and looked very much like he was about to burst into tears, "I want my mommy."

Shit!

"Hey." Jax said again, reaching across the table and took his little chubby hand in his, soothingly running the pad of his thumb over the sticky skin, "You know she's just working out of town, buddy. She'll be back in a few days."

"So she doesn't have a owie again?" Abel piped up, giving Jax a questioning look of his own now.

"No, of course not." Jax shook his head, suddenly realizing what the boys were thinking. "Why would you think mommy got hurt?"

"Mommy always goes away when she gets owies ... on her hand, on her head." Abel explained and looked over to his brother to confirm.

Jax's heart sank as he listened to Abel explain and Thomas nodding along in agreement. Jesus Christ!

"No, boys. Mommy's fine. I promise." He dropped his sandwich onto his plate and swiped his hands together, brushing off any crumbs before he reached into his back pocket, pulled out his phone and quickly dialed her number. "Look, we're gonna call her up right now, alright?"

Tara answered on the second ring, "Hey. I was just about to call you."

"Hey, babe, the boys wanna talk to you. I'm gonna put you on speaker." Jax said without missing a beat, and changed the phone call to the speaker function instead, not giving her a chance to even reply because he needed his sons to hear her voice this very second.

He looked at the boys, "Come on now, say hi to your mom."

"Hi mommy." The boys crooned in unison, staring at the device that was now laying in the middle of the table.

"Hi boys." Tara greeted back. "I miss you already." She said.

"I miss you." Thomas said and then Abel repeated. "I miss you."

"What are you guys doing?" Tara tried to engage them in a conversation.

"We're eating." Abel said sounding cheerful now, in between bites. "We have chicken nuggets and we have mac and cheese and we have apple juice."

"Really? That sounds delicious, but what about some veggies? No veggies?" Tara inquired.

"No." Thomas shrugged and shook his head, and Abel answered, "Daddy said we didn't need any veggies tonight."

"Hey, that was supposed to stay between us." Jax chimed in now for the first time, acting like he was offended, and the boys giggled at their father's facial expression, all worries from moments ago forgotten.

"Thanks for throwing me under the bus here, sons. Now I'll probably get a spankin' when she gets back." More laughter ensued.

"You wish, Teller." Tara answered teasingly, and joined in on the laughter and exchange between her boys and her man.

Then she listened on as Abel began to recall his day at school and even Thomas managed to get a few words in as well.

Seeing the boys this happy upon hearing their mother's voice brought a smile to Jax's face too, at least temporarily, yet deep down he felt gutted at what had just happened. How his sons had quietly come to expect that mommy not coming home for a while, meant mommy got hurt again.

The phone conversation continued until they were all done eating. Then they hung up just long enough for Tara to call back via facetime, at which point the boys practically hijacked Jax's phone and showed their mom around their room as if she had been gone for months instead of hours.

While the boys were busy talking to Tara, Jax busied himself around the home, doing his best Mister-Mom impression.

He put the leftover food up, cleaned up the kitchen with a lot more detail than was necessary, got a load of laundry started, and he even started picking up the toys the boys had already managed to get out, but he knew that was simply a lost cause while they were still wide awake.

A glance at the clock told him that it was time to get them ready for bed already. He found them in their bedroom, showing off some random matchbox cars to their mom. Holding the small vehicle way too close to the camera that left him with no doubt that Tara couldn't actually see anything like this, maybe just a blur of random colors, but the boys were none the wiser by the enthusiastic tone of her voice when she told them that she liked this particular one the best.

"Hey, hate to be the one to break up the party, boys, but it's about that time again." Jax leaned against the doorframe of their bedroom, arms folded and tried his best to bite back a smirk at the way both his sons stuck their lips out in an exaggerated pout.

His mind went back to a teenage version of their mother, who'd pouted just like that a time or two to get him to do her bidding, and if memory served him right, it had usually worked pretty good on him too.

And even thought Abel wasn't her flesh and blood, right now, looking up at him like this, Jax would've sworn the contrary to be true, because fuck if he didn't look just like her sometimes.

"It is that time, isn't it?" Came Tara's voice through the phone, he knew he could count on her to be backing him up.

"Okay." Abel relented, which was a good thing, since Thomas usually followed suit with his big brother decision.

At this age it was something both Tara and Jax had come to appreciate. Yet both of them had voiced their fear before that once their boys got older, and became hormonal and rebellious teenagers like their parents used to be, Thomas blindly agreeing to Abel's mischief would come back to bite them in the ass big time. It would be the blind leading the blind!

"Alright." Jax loudly clapped his hands a few times, trying to get them motivated to move their little butts, "Let's get this show in the bathtub, boys. Come on. We'll call mom back to tell her goodnight once we're all ready to be tucked into bed, alright?"

The boys agreed, and smacked their lips as they blew some kisses at their mother on the phone, before they handed it back to their father, and started stripping out of their clothes on their way out the door.

Jax finally got a good look at Tara for the first time since she'd called via this video call.

"Hey, babe." He said, smiling at the camera for her.

Tara smiled back, "Hey."

"I gotta get these little ogres ready for bed, alright? I'll call you back in a little bit?" He said, as his eyes flickered up to the corner of the screen, realizing that the phone was about to die on him. "And my battery's about dead anyways, gotta charge it too."

"Okay." Tara said, nodding her head, "I've got some more studying to do anyways. Call me back when you're putting 'em in bed, so I can tell 'em goodnight."

"I will." Jax agreed, and he managed to blow her a kiss too, mimicking his sons, before the battery died and the phone shut off on him.

X

It was just a few minutes past eight when Jax remained quietly standing in the doorframe of his sons' bedroom. Staring back into the darkened room, he stood as if frozen in place while he continued to watch both their little chests rise and fall steadily as deep slumber began to take over.

He was honestly surprised that they'd fallen asleep as quickly as they did tonight, after just one measly bedtime story. He'd anticipated without Tara here they'd make it more difficult than usual, but the opposite was the case.

And under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have found himself standing here, watching them sleep and wouldn't have given any of that so much as a second thought. He would've thought himself lucky, but that wasn't the case at all tonight. He was feeling too guilt ridden at the moment to chalk anything his sons did tonight up to luck or sheer coincidence.

He just couldn't help shake the look on both their faces, or the tears brimming in his youngest sons eyes at the thought that his mother wasn't coming home because she was hurt again. So now Jax wondered, after Tara had told them yesterday she'd be gone for a few days, how much sleep they'd gotten last night, since they were this exhausted right now.

And by extension, he wondered just what exactly had been going on in their little heads this morning when Tara had said her byes to them.

He couldn't really blame them to think the worst, because she had said her byes to them like any other day back at the park on the day Juice had assaulted her too, and the next thing they were told was that mommy was hurt and wasn't coming home to them. Never mind the fact that he'd been getting booked himself and hadn't even been there to deliver that message himself.

Then his mind drifted back even further. On another day they'd spend at a park, with their mother being dragged away from their car fighting, kicking, and screaming for their father, for him to help.

And yes, someway, somehow he'd managed to save her that day, but in the aftermath of it all, the boys had seen the agonizing pain on her face and the hot red blood dripping from her hand ... there had been no way to avoid them bearing witness to that.

And today just proved that they could be fairly easily distracted, brought back to the here and now, but deep down they hadn't forgotten any of it yet.

So he could see that in their minds this could be just like that time, and it crushed him to think that the pain and suffering Tara had endured, had spilled on over to both his sons to a much bigger extend than he'd previously assumed.

He thought he'd done everything in his power to keep the ugliness from them, but it was obvious now that this was just one more thing he'd failed them in.

I'm the mother of your sons. You hurt me, you hurt all of us!

The subject matter in which she had said those words to him was another altogether, but still Tara's words from so long ago rang so true in the back of his mind this very moment.

If he would've only listened to her back then, had packed her and those babies up and gotten the hell outta dodge ... so much hurt and pain could've been avoided by all of them.

Tears welled up in his eyes and he was quick to reach up and swipe them away before they could even fall. He silently turned and stepped out of the room now, closing the door behind him before he stepped across the hall into Tara's bedroom instead, closing that door behind him as well.

It suddenly dawned on him that the sick feeling he'd had in his gut might've had nothing to do with Tara, or her trip out of town, but instead it had been about him and his sons all along, and the realization of the pain they struggled with too.

He slowly took a seat on the edge of the bed, and hung his head in defeat. Hunched over, his elbows on his knees, he buried his face in both his hands, trying to get his own emotions back under control, but the tears kept on returning no matter how much he wiped them away.

In quiet moments like these, left to his own self-loathing thoughts about all the pain and suffering Tara and his boys had endured, the damage he'd inflicted on them seemed too much for him to bear ... and maybe even beyond repair, but he'd die trying.

Tara and my boys, Tara and my boys ... back when he was locked up, they were all he could think about, and how he'd do things differently, pull them out of the cesspool of violence and greed. How he'd promised her they wouldn't grow up in this!

Is there anything you love ... so much, you'd protect it no matter the cost? The damage it did to you?

Yeah ... yeah, a child.

He found himself thinking back on all those long forgotten - or maybe just suppressed out of guilt - little talks they'd had. And looking back now, knowing what he knew now, it all seemed so clear to him where he'd gone wrong each time.

Too many times he'd found himself with the proverbial fork in the road ahead of him, and it seemed that each and every time he'd chosen the path, at full speed, that ultimately led him further and deeper into the grasp of Sam Crow, further towards becoming the man he'd hated, and in turn pushed him further away from her and his boys and the life they should've had all along.

With the only exception being the moment when he offered himself up to Patterson, willing to do hard time so she, an innocent, could walk free and save their sons.

But his one redeemable act had been shattered, made null and void again, with Juice's action against her later that same day. They'll suffer with this!

Sure, months later he'd struck another deal with Patterson, and she'd eventually left with his sons in tow, but at this point the damage was already done, the carnage too real to ignore any longer.

The tears finally stopped flowing, but he still swiped his hands angrily down his face as if that could also wipe away the guilt that was eating him alive right now. Needless to say it didn't work.

He was out! He'd chosen her and the boys ... had left Sam Crow behind. But had he ... really?

He swallowed the lump in his throat, and slowly came to his feet, before he walked into the bathroom to splash some cold water at his face to find more clarity.

He'd broken free from Charming, Gemma and the club, learned from his numerous past mistakes, sworn never to return again.

He had closed the door to that part of his life behind him ... with the exception of one thing.

With new found determination and more clarity than he'd ever felt before, he quietly stepped back into the boys' room just long enough to turn on the baby monitor that sat on the highest shelf out of reach for the two.

He then grabbed the corresponding other piece from Tara's nightstand, quickly turned it on and stuffed the device into his back pocket, before he stepped out the front door of their apartment and headed down the hall towards Misses Ellie's place.

X

Jax hastily finished the last of his cigarette, before he flung the remaining filter out the window of his truck, sure it would be extinguished by the wet asphalt beneath, if not by the still falling rain itself.

He didn't waste any time and quickly rolled up the window on his truck, before he opened the door and climbed outside. After a few quick phone calls earlier to some of his co-workers he'd decided on this place right here to do the deed.

His swagger was more distinct then usually as he crossed the street towards the tattoo parlor. He couldn't decide if the bright neon lights in the window made the place seem more legit, or did the complete opposite, but he had it on good authority that this was the most reputable place in town.

A little bell above the door rang up on entering, letting his presence be known and he stepped up to the counter, waiting for someone to come greet him any moment now.

His eyes drifted across the shop, taking it all in, and it struck him just how similar one tattoo parlor seemed to look like the next. As if they all followed the same general decorative guidelines, when it came to tattoo art and piercings alike.

A big burly man finally stepped through the black curtain that separated the front entrance from the back rooms and greeted him at once, his voice was a low and deep rumble that matched his appearance, "How can I help you?"

"I'm here for a tattoo." Jax said sounding sternly.

He stripped the black latex gloves off of his hands and tossed them in the small trashcan behind him, before he turned his attention to the opened calendar notebook on the counter, and began scanning down the page, "You've got an -"

"No, man." Jax interjected, and shook his head, "I ain't got an appointment. But I need this done tonight." He met the man's eyes across the counter from him, hoping the look in his eyes would convey just how serious he was.

The guy scoffed, "Listen, man, we're usually booked up at least a solid week out, sometimes even longer. I've got everyone busy back there right now." He said, trying to sound apologetic, as he started turning pages on the calendar book before him, trying to pinpoint the next available appointment he could offer to him.

"Look, I need this done tonight." Jax repeated again with an even more serious tone to his voice and it caught the man's attention, and he met Jax's eyes once more. "It's not gonna be hard, if you've got an intern, a new kid, someone still learning the trade -."

"Shit." The guy said interrupting Jax now, and tugged absentmindedly on his long beard, eyeing him much more cautiously now. "Are we talking about a blackening out? Man, you don't want that shit done by some new kid, with hands shaking more than the needle itself. That's bad juju." The man said with a knowing look.

"Bad juju, really?" Jax asked, unable to keep the smile from forming on his lips.

"Yeah, man, ... you know, like Karma." The guy further elaborated, looking serious in his convictions.

Jax shook his head, eyebrows raised, "My kid was born ten weeks early, with a fucked up heart and his insides hanging out. My old lady's a doctor, saves babies lives every day, and she's been kidnapped, beaten and almost killed ... let's just say I don't believe in Karma, man. 'Cause if Karma was real, none of that shit would've happened to them, and I'd be buried in a shallow unmarked grave by now instead." Sounding just as serious in his believes in return.

The guy tugged on his beard again, eyeing Jax some more, "Why tonight? You're thinking if you don't get it done now, you might change your mind again? That's what this urgency's about that I'm getting here?"

"No, man." Jax shook his head again, "It's not about me changing my mind, ... it's about regretting not having it done much sooner. And not wanting to wait another fucking minute longer than I have to."

The man nodded in understanding at that, "How big are we talking here?"

Jax turned around, pulling the back of his shirt up to his shoulders, exposing the whole reaper on his back.

"Shit." The man said again, "That's gonna take a while to get all covered up."

"Yeah." Jax nodded now too, "It probably will."

X

Jax stood in Tara's bedroom, his back turned towards the mirror as he looked over his shoulder at his back for a long silent minute. The blackened out reaper was covered in ointment and clear wrap that had been carefully taped down with medical tape to stay in place.

He eyed it, clearly satisfied with the results, before he carefully pulled a clean shirt on over it for the night. He'd known for months that it needed to be done, and now it was.

He still remembered the day he'd gotten the tattoo like it was just yesterday. At the time, getting patched in, it had meant everything to him. He'd thrown himself head first into the club, and when it came down to deciding the size and placement of his club ink, it came only natural to have it on his back, like his cut had seeped into and under his skin permanently. Forever a part of him.

He'd envisioned to be feeling nostalgic in a sense, no one could really blame him, it would only be natural if he did since the ink had been a part of him for such a long, long time.

But the fact that he wasn't feeling any of that at all, perplexed even him, yet made it all the more clearer that he'd finally made the right choice.

And just like he'd been so proud to show off the reaper when he'd gotten it right after patching in, now he was just as proud to surprise Tara with this when she'd get back home in a couple of days.

But above all else, he needed his sons to not grow up hating the very thought of him, and this was without a shadow of a doubt a step in the right direction.

They wouldn't know it just yet, they were simply still too young to understand it all, but in time they'd grow older, and just like him they'd learn even more of the ugly truth, and he could only hope they'd forgive him for what he'd done, to their mother and to them, and that this night would be marked as a milestone on his long road to redemption.

Sam Crow was truly behind him now, not just for the sake of his wife and his boys, but his own as well, and those thoughts alone let him fall asleep with a smile on his face tonight.

X

Author's Note: Thanks for all the lovely reviews. The development in this chapter has been a long time coming. I've gotta be honest that I've struggled with the decision to have him blacken out his ink, because it looks just soooo good on him, but for the sake of my story it had to be done. As long as he still had the ink, he still had a foot in the door with Sam Crow, and could be called up on by them if push came to shove. Anyways, I know some of you might not be happy with me right now, but I hope you'll leave me a few words anyways. Let me know what you think, good or bad. Thank you

P.S. If anyone can pull of a blackened out reaper, it's Jackson Teller! ;)