Thank you for your continued patience. I'm hoping things will get better, but my company is closing so I am entering a new chapter in my life that I didn't ask for. I will continue posting as I can. I have two other chapters banked so we are good for at least six weeks.

UPDATE: I have secured a job that I will start in February.

Thank you to Team Harpy.

CHAPTER 17

Jessica

"In life, we're taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones … gluttony, pride, lust. But the thing you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger isn't that dangerous, that you can control it. My point is maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior, it did make the top seven."

I look at the screen of my screeching phone. Lauren again. I hit the dismiss button and put it away in my purse. She's been trying to reach me since yesterday, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to hear what she's gonna say. She's either gonna tell me they were laughing and joking, or she's gonna tell me they wouldn't look at each other.

Hell, I already know that. That's par for the course lately. Edward's mood swings have been legendary these past few weeks. Since she came back into our lives. I can hear him now. 'She's not to blame for this. She's totally innocent.'

And that very well may be. But I'm of the mind that if a woman knows about the wife and still entertains the man, she is just as guilty. The problem is, it doesn't technically seem like she's "entertaining" him. Hence, the frequent change of behavior in my husband. I can always tell when he has a good day with her or a bad one.

Then again, she has Paul, and he is a nice tall glass of water. She'd be stupid if she isn't hitting that every chance she gets. I know they're physical, as they've kissed a few times on set. Normally, I'd assume she was trying to make Edward jealous, but most of the time, he wasn't even around.

I've checked our phone records. Other than some texts one night a few weeks ago, nothing. I've checked for Snapchat. He doesn't have one. No dating profiles. No deleted emails. They aren't even friends on Facebook or Instagram. I'm here more than I'm anywhere these days, but I have no proof anything is going on. I'd say it was all in my head except for his attitude. Edward is usually so easy going, but lately, I don't recognize him. And it could just be that he's tired of my constant bullshit. I'm not vain enough to not see my own toxic traits. I'm spoiled and demanding, but that's never seemed to bother him before.

Which brings us back to Bella Swan. She may not be at fault for everything, but her mere existence is ruining my life. And I can't have that.

"Hey, babe," I greet my husband casually. I pretend I don't see him startle. Not sure if I just scared him or if it's guilt making him jumpy.

"Hey, Jess. How's work?"

I sit down across from him and place my purse on the seat next to me. "Almost done. I only have today, and then I'm done until we get to Los Angeles. Which reminds me; we still haven't found a house, and the market is insane right now, so we should probably get on that before we leave for Europe." Hopefully, reminding him of our future plans will put some of his focus where it belongs—on me.

"Yeah, we should."

I beam at him. "We can order takeout and pull up Zillow tonight so we can get an idea of our wants and needs."

He smiles, but I can tell it's forced. He's picking at his salad as I ramble on about anything to get him to engage. It's like pulling teeth, and I didn't go into dentistry. I'm in mid-sentence when he suddenly focuses on something behind me. I turn to look.

Or should I say someone? Bella and Paul have entered the chat. I sigh rather loudly, and Edward snaps his attention back to me. "What were you saying?" he asks.

"I don't even know anymore. I need to get back. I'll see you tonight."

I pass Bella and Paul at their table on my way out, but Paul is the only one who acknowledges me.

I finish up the little projects I have left and decide to hang around for the rest of the day. Maybe take in a scene or two.

I quietly slip in and smile at Bree and Ang, who reminds me to be quiet with a quick finger to her lips. I nod and take a seat out of the actors' sightline. Edward, Bella, and Natasha are in the elevator, and Natasha is questioning the other two about why they're not on speaking terms. I don't have to be a writer on the show to answer that. Your days are limited on this show. I know enough to know that Maggie and Liam have become the end game.

I'm afraid in more ways than one.

Three takes and they're done. Bella and Edward retreat to opposite sides of the set with no words spoken. As his wife, I know that should make me feel better, but it doesn't.

I get up and approach Edward. "Great scene."

He looks at me without really seeing me. "Thanks. I have another one in a few that mirrors this one. Then I should be close to being done for the day."

"Let me know and I'll order the takeout. Chinese okay?"

"Yeah, you know my order. Anton is signaling for me. I'll be back." He approaches the director, who has also beckoned Natasha and Bella over. They all nod a few times, then disperse.

"Another scene has been added, but it shouldn't take long. It's a small reshoot. Something about the camera angles," Edward informs me.

"I don't mind waiting." I go back to find my seat and settle in with my phone on silent. I see two more missed calls from Lauren. I love her, but the bitch knows how to text. I decide to shoot her one.

On set. Will talk to you later.

Make sure you do. We need to talk.

I sigh before texting a simple okay to her. I squash my anxiety down and focus on the second elevator scene. He's right; it is similar to the first, so it's done within a couple tries. A small break then we head over to the set next door as it's the upstairs hospital corridor and stairs overlooking another area. Edward and Natasha are upstairs with Bella, and a couple of other regulars remain downstairs.

"We're just gonna start at the part I instructed until the last part so I can get this angle right. And action!"

"What they're doing is not about love, Liam! Well, it's like you."

"Excuse me?"

"How you pretend to love me, but really, you're just using me to fill this need you have to be a good guy."

"Now's not the time to talk about this. We'll talk about this later."

"What, you walk away? That's all I get?"

"Just calm down, please."

"Wait, what? You're not going to yell at me? Call me names? Or, I don't know, ignore me in an elevator? What do I have to do? Oh, wait, I'll just go out with another doctor. But no, that won't work because I'm not Maggie O'Connell!"

"Okay, Bella, Alice, and Emmett are excused. I need Edward and Natasha for a few more frames."

Bella grabs her things and leaves instantly. I sneak a look at Edward, contemplating what I want to do. Looks like I'm gonna have to take my chances.

"Bella! Wait up."

I see her shoulders droop, but she turns toward me and waits for me to catch up.

"Jessica. What can I do for you today?"

"I'm gonna ask you a question, and it's not a question I want to ask, but I'm gonna ask you, and then you'll answer, and we'll go from there, okay?"

Her eyes widen a little at my word vomit, but she squares her shoulders and nods.

"Have you slept with my husband?" I put every ounce of vulnerability I'm feeling into that question, and I can see she notices because her eyes soften.

"Not since high school."

"Okay, okay, good. That's good. It's just today, during the elevator scene and then right after, it just seemed like you were having a lover's spat?"

She hesitates.

"But that would be crazy because you're with Paul, right?"

So many emotions run across her face: helplessness, embarrassment, and guilt.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, tears shimmering in her brown eyes.

I take a step back to distance myself from the blast of what she is about to tell me.

"For what?" I barely manage to get out.

She hesitates briefly before blurting out, "I kissed him yesterday, but I stopped myself, and I left the situation."

"And that makes it all right?"

"No, of course not. I didn't mean for it to happen."

"Did he kiss you back?"

The look she gives me tells me all I need to know. I start backing away as the shards of destruction chip away at me.

"Jessica," she begs.

"Don't you say my name," I said. "How dare you ask me for absolution? I … can't be here. I have to go." I rush out to the parking lot without another thought, get in my car, and head toward the only place I know I'll get answers.

Lauren opens the door, not at all surprised to see me.

"Who told you?" she asks, taking in my tear-stained face.

"Bella." I put as much vitriol in my voice as I can.

"Huh, didn't see that one coming. What did she tell you?"

"That she kissed him, and he kissed her back. Did something else happen? And how do you know all this anyway?" I rapidly shoot questions at her like an AR15.

"I did their photoshoot yesterday, and they didn't interact much at all, which I thought was good. But then she left abruptly when we were done, and he went after her. So, naturally, I followed him. They ended up in an exam room and were yelling at each other."

"Yelling what?" I interrupt.

"She told him to stop looking at her and that she was moving on. He denied ever doing so, and she called him out, and he told her he wished he could stop, and then they kissed."

"You mean she kissed him?" I question, bitterly.

"He was a willing participant, Jess," Lauren says gently.

"Then what happened?" I ignore her statement.

"She realized what they were doing, stopped it, and ran out. For what it's worth, she looked horrified."

"It's not worth much to me at this point," I seethe.

"I'm just saying …" She shrugs.

"Whose side are you on anyway?" I'm yelling, and I can't seem to stop.

"Yours. Always yours." She puts her hand over mine and squeezes as I start to cry.

"I don't know what to do. I can't compete. It's just … the only people who don't know that Edward loves Bella are Edward and Bella. How do I compete with that?" I sniffle.

"You get angry, and you stay angry. You go after blood. And …She takes a stack of pictures and throws them on the coffee table in front of us. "You let everyone know what they've done to you."

I look at them, bile rising up in my throat. I choke it back defiantly. "How do I do that?"

"You sell them to the highest bidder."

"I'm not following." I think I'm getting numb.

"The tabloids, Jess. That way you can make some money and stick it to them."

"I can't do that to Edward." Can I?

"Why not? He's certainly not worried about you," she points out.

She's right. He's not. I start to feel the red hot flashes of anger strumming through my body, and I decide to focus on that.

They want to fuck me over? Let's see who gets fucked in the end.

"So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really. You give in to a sin like envy or pride, and you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting, and you'll only hurt yourself and one or two others. But anger is the worst … the mother of all sins. Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does, you can take an awful lot of people with you."

Did you really think, I'd just forgive and forget, no

After catching you with her

Your blood should run cold, so cold

You, you two-timing, cheap-lying, wannabe

You're a fool, if you thought that I'd just let this go - I See Red, Everyone Loves An Outlaw