Sorry I haven't posted in a long while. A LOT happened in my life recently, both good and bad but all stressful and time-consuming. I appreciate the comments! I never thought I'd share my stories for others to read, as it is mostly therapy for me to write them, but I'm glad there are people enjoying them too :)

Chapter 6

I awoke to a cold nose and warm tongue against my cheek. I recoiled and rolled over on the grass to face the faded sky and my very concerned German Shepherd. Putting one hand out to keep the dog's tongue at bay, I stared up unblinking. The leaves in the trees above held touches or orange and yellow, the beginnings of fall, against a dusky blue sky. The crispness in the air gave me a little shiver, since my body temperature had dropped from falling asleep outdoors without a coat.

Hearing the crunch of leaves, I immediately sat up to see who or what was approaching, then sighed. It was just Amy and Faceman. I was relieved it wasn't Murdock. I couldn't handle that conversation right now. Unsurprising to me it wasn't Grandpa who had come for me, since he had always left my emotions to my mother to handle. He had probably at least asked Amy to come check on me.

I stayed sitting on the ground, watching them through dull, puffy eyes as they approached. Stopping a few feet from me, Face held out my jacket he had been carrying. I accepted it and pulled it on, trying not to shiver. I was a little embarrassed that I had been crying so hard, and knew I must look terrible.

"Thanks." I said dryly, not meeting their eyes.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I've been better." I replied, swallowing hard. Wow, my throat was dry.

They sat down with me, and Amy reached out to gently stroked Trigger's back, who had plopped onto the grass between us with his head in my lap. I was glad she wasn't touching me. That's what Mom would have done.

"Mae," she began, "you need to know that... Murdock sincerely didn't know."

My head jerked up to glare at her, feeling my eyes blazing.

"How?" I snapped. "He was with her for over a year. He was going to marry her! Or so he said..." I finished bitterly.

Face and Amy exchanged glances that I couldn't discern the meaning of.

"What?" I asked, my initial anger tempered some as curiosity got the better of me. Amy answered first.

"You remember when Murdock told you about his helicopter crash in Vietnam? And how he got all his guys out alive?"

I nodded, unsure where she was going with this. What did it have to do with my mom?

"Well, he got that mostly right. He did crash, and he did get brain damage from the impact. The helicopter landed behind enemy lines, and he was captured by the Vietcong and brought to the same POW camp that Hannibal and the others were already in."

"Well, what about the guys he rescued and flew out of there?"

I felt an ache in the pit of my stomach, somehow fearing her next words, which came from Face instead.

"None of them survived the crash."

My mouth fell open, and I didn't know what to think. Why does Murdock think he saved them if they died?

As if hearing my question, Face continued.

"The brain damage Murdock suffered included acute memory loss," he said gently. "When he woke up in the camp he knew who he was, where he was from, that he was a soldier in 'Nam and such. But what he didn't remember were the last couple years prior. We told him the grunts he was flying out didn't make it, but in his mind they had to be alive. He denied the reality of it until it became a kind of obsession. It was Hannibal who told us to stop trying to convince him. Hannibal said... 'If he needs to hold on to believing that he got his boys out alive, then we aren't going to take that away from him. We all need every bit of comfort and good news we can get in here'. 'Here' referring to the POW camp, of course."

I felt numb and my body went into uncontrollable trembling. I couldn't imagine myself in Murdock's shoes, believing I had saved people's lives, only to have my friends adamant that they had died. And to wake up after a horrific crash in the hands of a brutal enemy... I stared at them.

"So, you're saying that he never came back to mom because... he didn't have any memories of her anymore?"

"Unfortunately." Amy said, folding her hands in her lap, her expression sad but also something else I couldn't quite discern. Face picked up a twig and began twiddling it between his fingers as he spoke again.

"As he came across reminders of the years he had lost," he said, "the memories would come back, but we didn't know he had a girl back home, so we couldn't help him remember her. We're all shocked today to find out that he was engaged, let alone has a beautiful young woman for a daughter."

I glanced up to see Face shaking his head a little in amusement as he threw me a sincere smile. I looked over at the headstone, wondering what Mom would say if she was here.

Would she be angry that he forgot her? Or just happy he was finally home?...

"Mae," Amy said, putting a hand on my arm to get me to look at her. "I know how hurt and angry you must feel right now, and I can't pretend I understand what it's like. But I do know that Murdock feels terrible about what's happened. I've never seen him so distraught, and I know you don't know him very well, but he wouldn't have done this to your mother on purpose."

I listened blankly to her, both believing and doubting her at the same time. The feelings of betrayal and hurt were still so fresh in my heart that I didn't feel I could honestly believe yet that he was totally innocent, yet I knew in my mind that what they had told me made sense.

I sighed heavily, then slowly bent my knees and straightened up to stand, feeling my muscles sore from the tension and cold. Face and Amy stood also, watching me expectantly as I stretched and fought to control my shivering. Trigger sat up and whined.

"Let's go back," I reluctantly decided. "Grandpa is probably worried."

Grandpa! I suddenly wondered what his reaction might have been to learning his grandaughter's father was a psychiatric patient with an invisible dog.

"How DID Grandpa take it?" I asked as we began walking away from the gravesite.

"Well, he wasn't exactly overjoyed," Face answered. "But he didn't try to kill him either, so that's progress I guess."

I smiled grimly at his stab at making humor in the situation.

"When we left to find you he and Murdock were talking in the living room. I guess his shock had worn off."

I was surprised at this, since I had imagined Grandpa attempting to murder Murdock when he found out my father had forgotten my mother.

As we neared the house, I felt a twist in my stomach and a lump rise in my throat as I thought of facing Murdock again.

They must have sensed my discomfort, because just before the front porch they paused and waited, allowing me a minute to gather myself. I did my best, I really did, but I just couldn't bring myself to walk up to that door and open it. Finally I just shrugged helplessly and forced myself to meet their eyes.

"I'm sorry guys. Can I have a few minutes out here by myself?"

"Sure, Mae. Take all the time you need."

Amy smiled at me sympathetically, and then turned to follow Face who opened the door. I motioned for my dog to go in too, and reluctantly he turned and followed them inside. As the door shut and the quiet of our yard enveloped me again, I took a deep breath while I thought over my options.

How can I just go inside? What would I say to him? I couldn't just give him a hug and tell him I'm happy I found him. I couldn't just ignore him completely either. Heck, I might take one look at him and smack him across the face! No, that's not a good idea...

"I need more time."

I glanced back at the door, then decided my course of action. Quietly stepping off the porch into the dimly-lit yard, I hopped on my bicycle that was leaned against the post, and rode off through the dusk. I hoped they would understand, I'd be back soon...

"Your dad is a psychopath?!"

My best friend blurted out the words in her typical blunt fashion.

I returned Marley's wide-eyed brown stare with a blank look of tired unamusement. I called Marley my best friend, but really she was my only friend. Our mothers had been friends and Marley and I grew up together and had gone to the same school. Marley had been off on vacation with her family for the summer, but I knew there was a chance she was back tonight. Luckily for me, they were unloading their station wagon when I arrived on my bike.

Marley took one look at my face and knew something had happened. She had instantly grabbed my hand and her suitcase and pulled me inside, dragging me up the stairs and into her bedroom. I had no soon entered when she flung her suitcase off to the side and yanked me onto the bed with her.

"Spill! What's wrong?" She had ordered, her frizzy dark hair extra crazy from the long car ride and bags under her eyes. She must have been tired but nothing would keep her from making sure I was okay. That was Marley. I told her the whole story of my trip to L.A. and the A-Team, and then the news of who my father was...

My bestie quickly tried to remedy her initial blunt statement, talking even faster than she normally did. "I mean, psychopath is a strong word... but he's crazy, right? Or isn't he?... he is? But you FOUND your dad! And he's with the A-Team! ... that's good, right? Or bad...?"

"Slow down." I held out both hands in an attempt to focus her. "He has brain damage from Vietnam, but when I talk to him, he can seem like a normal person sometimes. So not like a crazy person you see in the movies. I haven't seen him snap in a bad way. At least, not yet..."

"So, do you like him?" She asked, inching forward on her bed towards me. "Is he nice? Is he kind? Is he funny? Is he -oh! I'll stop talking, sorry!"

My warning look silenced her, and she waited expectantly for my reply, but I didn't answer right away, letting my eyes wander around her familiar bedroom while I thought. Very different from mine, her walls were wood paneling and framed art she had painted herself. Her decor reflected nature mixed with wildly colorful patterns reminiscent of the hippie era, such as the tye-dye comforter on the bed we sat on, a pool of bright rainbow colors. Finally I brought my attention back to her, and forced myself to answer.

"I don't know... Before I knew he was my father, he was just some really funny and cool dude who was fun to be around. But..."

My voice trailed off, and I felt at a loss for the right words.

"But he's not like the dad you imagined in your head." Marley finished my thought for me.

I gave her a look of skepticism, but she smiled back, confident of hitting the target. And she was right, as always.

I nodded, shrugging helplessly.

"I don't know, I just always pictured my dad as a calm and steady guy. Someone who Mom fell head over heels for - and you know how my mom was: black and white; kind but set in her ways and routine; calm and present. So I thought that whoever Dad was he must be like her for her to want to marry him. But Murdock is so..."

I sighed, absently mindedly picking at a frayed thread of the stitching. Marley rested her chin on one hand, watching me intently, thought I caught her hiding a yawn out of the corner of my eye.

"Well, they do say that opposites attract," she offered, then shrugged at my skeptical reaction. "Or, like you have told me, the war changed him. So maybe he was like you imagined your dad to be, when he and your mom were dating, and now he's different!"

"I don't like it when you're right."

She smirked smugly at me, and I managed to smile back. Her optimistic attitude always could lift my spirits when I was down. I glanced at the flower clock on the wall next to us.

"It's getting late, and Grandpa is probably worried about me. I should go."

"Your dad is probably worried too..." Her mouth turned up slightly and she avoided my gaze purposefully, which meant my glare went ignored.

"Don't push it." I said sternly, but only recieved a muffled short laugh from her.

I reached over and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Thanks, Mar. I'm so glad you guys were home."

"Just!" She laughed with a little snort before letting me go. "I'm glad too. And you'll see, you guys will work things out. Love always wins."

I didn't answer her, just smiled a little at her comment before heading out of her bedroom and down the stairs.