Disclaimer: I do no own Mass Effect, I do not claim to own Mass Effect, I am only doing this for fun.
Author Notes: Another "colorful" bookend for the "Citadel I" arc of this story, framing yet more rather important things. I am detail oriented and I believe that if I'm going to explore the nuances, it's in for a penny, in for a pound.
Episode 8: Eminence Grise
Shepard was glad to say that settling their new crewmate ended up a quick affair. They did not have another cabin to spare, but Garrus took one look at life support and called dibs. It was an odd space that never quite found a use. Some of the crew used it as a semi-private dining room, but the mess was generally not packed enough to require that, and they had their quarters a door over. A third of the room was taken up by the ungainly oxygen plant, but it formed a rather nice nook for a cot. The plant was always humming and vibrating as well. The air was also perpetually and noticeably warmer and drier than the rest of the ship.
Still, with its table, some chairs, and shelving Shepard supposed it must pass for a cabin if one hailed from the most disciplined military in the galaxy. Garrus assured her that as he was born and raised on Palaven, was not only used to barrack noises, he felt right at home where the air was warmer and drier.
After that there was the issue of hierarchy to discuss. Shepard ended up floundering through trying to explain the situation on board. Though she was the ship's commanding officer, Nihlus as her mentor and as Spectre Liaison had some input into matters. With Garrus, as he was not Alliance, she could not subject him to all the Alliance rules and regulations, but in the interest of crew morale she did not want him flaunting it. She was his commanding officer, not Nihlus, no matter what the Spectre said. She was fully aware that Nihlus might enjoy lording things over Garrus given half a chance.
There was no way to conceal Garrus' presence from the rest of the crew for very long either. It only took ten minutes for practically everyone to gather for their dose of gawping. But she would dole out credit where it was due; no one showed any sort of negative reaction. Jenkins, overeager as ever, was the one to ask how a C-sec detective came to join the crew, though Shepard could tell it was the question of the evening.
Before she could come up with a perfectly pithy title for Garrus, something with the same professional ring as "Spectre Liaison", Garrus went ahead and confessed that he had been the one to investigate the Eden Prime leak and that he quit C-sec because his superiors had not been happy with the aid he gave the Commander. Invariably it came up that he had been the one to tell them they were off the hook.
Shepard ended up looking like she hired him because she felt guilty for getting him fired from C-sec, which worked for her. It was not a total lie, just downplay of how much of it was his own choice. Nihlus stood by, smirking the whole time, as he knew the full truth. Jenkins was stunned, as all of that had been above his pay grade, but it seemed to be enough for the crew. Even Ashley, listening nearby, did not pursue the details of what exactly made Garrus' superiors so unhappy with him. It was not a good explanation, it hardly held water, but Shepard knew it would have to do.
After that was said and done Shepard took Garrus on a small tour of the key areas, they ended up in the OD where she introduced him to EDI. Garrus greeted EDI as if the revelation of the Normandy having an AI was not a shocker. Then he utterly blew her away when he admitted that he suspected something because the Normandy's crew was simply too small to be functional. Even with Turian military efficiency a ship this size would have at least forty crewmembers. With an AI on board, one that functioned as communications and operations officer, everything suddenly made sense. Shepard sighed; somehow EDI was becoming the worst kept secret on board.
Later that day, quite late on Terran Coordinated, Admiral Hackett contacted the Normandy after mulling over what Captain Anderson must have told him. Shepard repeated what she told Captain Anderson herself, and then had EDI send the contract Garrus signed. By way of making formal introduction she explained that part the reason she hired Garrus was she suspected the geth might become a problem, and she wanted to do some research and maybe a threat assessment. Garrus was familiar with the events on Eden Prime, keen on looking into the matter, and his C-sec investigative skills and knowledge of the non-Spectre side of the Citadel might come in handy in the future. In other words, as cold as it sounded, she was cultivating an asset.
She was greeted with a quiet eyebrow raise and a reminder to keep him under control, but beyond that, she was clear to conduct her inquiry. The Alliance would conduct an official investigation of course, but whatever material she could find would still be interesting. Shepard had a feeling that there was going to be a discrepancy between the official channels arm-chair investigation and the soldier-led one she could do. The difference being that she would look for material soldiers could actually use to prevent another tactical disaster like Eden Prime. Too many marines died due to unfamiliarity with the enemy. A tactical assessment could definitely help there.
Thus after getting her eight hours of sleep, Shepard had a small breakfast and holed herself up in the OD to begin laying some foundation. Since she had worn her helmet on Eden Prime, she pulled up her armor's recordings. There was not much there; but the camera did catch a rather nice angle on most the black unit during her conversation with it, before she blew its head off. Annoyingly the Alliance likely had all the geth remains, including whatever was left of the black one, though she had no hope of getting any of it. For now that eliminated a rather direct route of investigation.
She was at her terminal, compiling the meager materials she could access on the Alliance intranet with her clearances when she heard the OD door open behind her. She did not even look up from her work until a shadow fell over her.
"Shepard."
"Morning, Nihlus." She replied as she shifted pads around her desk, to organize them as various reports and assessments downloaded.
"Do you have new orders from your admiral?" he asked.
Shepard turned in her chair and looked up at him, "No. Do you have anything?"
"Besides a volus I have to go see? No." His mandibles flicked.
"Well I guess you'll have time to work on that. I got a go-ahead to investigate the geth; right now I'm pulling up everything the Alliance has. It isn't much."
"I see. You should go to the Library of Council; they might have something open access. If not, my Spectre clearances are good for the closed collection."
Shepard hummed, she should have thought of that. The LoC was a government research repository that operated as a terminal of the Citadel archives. It had a truly staggering collection of digital and analog sources pooled from every Citadel race, past and present, lending to and from the most prestigious universities on Palaven, Sur'Kesh, and Thessia. Primarily meant to help researchers and people with special clearance, it still functioned as a reference library, with part of the collection open to the public. "I'll do that, but I think I will try the open sources before I start abusing your clearances. I think you should focus on getting your credits. Most companies have a claim period."
"Do not remind me." Nihlus grumbled.
"I wish I could help, but I'm pretty sure telling him I know where he lives won't actually help."
Nihlus stopped cold, but then it must have sunk in, because he laughed, "No it will not, but I appreciate the offer."
The OD door swished open again and Shepard turned her neck to look, Garrus stopped in the doorway seeing them.
"Commander… erm… is this a bad time?" he asked.
"Not at all. We were just talking plans for the day. In fact, I'd say your timing is impeccable."
Garrus stepped into the room and allowed the doors to close behind him. Shepard glanced up at Nihlus and then back to Garrus. "As I told Nihlus, right now I'm getting whatever information the Alliance got on the Geth. Nihlus suggested I go to the Library of Council. Garrus, could I impose on you? I'm afraid I'm not certain where that is, and truthfully I could use a second opinion."
"I will be happy to help, Commander."
"Thank you," Shepard smiled.
"I will leave you two to the research," Nihlus announced as he stepped around Garrus and moved toward the door.
"Have fun," Shepard called with a grin as the door opened.
"Oh yes. The time of my life." Nihlus groused back.
Shepard laughed as the door closed behind him.
"What was that about?" Garrus wondered.
"Ah, right," Shepard straightened and went back to her pads. "Nihlus was investigating the same Eclipse band that I was sent to… neutralize. The mercs holed his personal ship, EDI picked up a distress signal, we helped him out, and the rest is history, but the Defiant ended up a write-off. Now he's fighting the insurance company."
"I see."
"Was there something you wanted? I mean, most people who come up here have something on their mind." Shepard wondered.
"No, no. I was interested in our agenda, but that covered itself."
"Indeed." Shepard replied.
That seemed to finish the conversation. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Garrus pick up the pad closest to him, adjust the output, and skim the contents. "This is just historical background."
"Yes, but the Alliance doesn't have much. I mean… we know the Geth were created around three hundred years ago. Lovely time that. The industrial revolution on Earth was just, pun-intended picking up steam, and we did not even have a working heavier-than-air aircraft, let alone the ability to go into space." Some would think she was being disparaging, as far as Shepard was concerned it merely constituted fact. Compared to the other civilizations, especially the Asari Republics and the Salarian Union, who made contact a thousand years ago, humanity was very much a late developer. "Either I'm not funny, or you think you're not allowed to laugh. You're allowed to laugh." Shepard noted the blank expression on his face.
"Laughing seems… impolite."
"Ah. Back to business then," she would let him off with that cop-out. "Here," Shepard lifted one of the pads off the desk. "This contains a trimmed hard-suit recording from my armor. I have the full thing, but that edit is what I consider good angles on the geth. I'm rather interested in the black unit we saw, you'll know which."
"Are these the only recordings?" Garrus asked.
"No. I suppose not… EDI please ask Kaidan, Ashley, and Richard to give you copies of whatever they have on their suits from Eden Prime."
"Right away, Commander." EDI replied. "I will forward the recordings to your terminal as I receive them."
"Thanks EDI."
Garrus hummed mutely and moved to the couch, taking the two pads with him. Shepard figured even he knew little about the Geth. They were the galactic hermits after all.
"They are fascinating," she said after a moment of silence. "I mean humanity only developed synthetic intelligence in the past thirty odd years. Our EDI is the essence of unique. But… robots, automatons, and synthetic intelligence have fascinated my people for centuries. I'm afraid I am not wholly immune myself."
"I suppose they are interesting, up until they turn on you," Garrus replied.
"I assure you, I have no plans to turn on this ship and her crew at this time." EDI spoke up.
"At this time, sure." Garrus replied blandly. He probably hoped that EDI would not hear, but if Shepard heard it, odds were EDI heard him too. When the silence hung, Shepard realized EDI chose not to reply.
"Garrus, what do we know of the war the Quarians waged on the Geth?" Shepard asked. It was steering the topic away from the minefield, nothing more.
"Not much." He replied.
"Yes, and only what the Quarians told us." Shepard affirmed. "Therein lays the problem. We have their story and are expected to take their word."
"You think there is more to it? The Quarians were the victims, why would they lie?" Garrus asked.
"Perhaps they were not lying, nevertheless- You're a detective, have you never met a victim who concealed something? Perhaps they felt pressured, ashamed, or even unconsciously protecting someone from the shadow of suspicion, for reasons of their own."
Garrus hummed, "Yes, I met those types. The worst is the victim related to the perpetrator."
Shepard smiled. "The same reasoning applies here. Most say the Quarians created and unleashed an army of synthetics on the galaxy who may or may not be beyond reasoning with. If that's not enough to make them at least bend the truth, then…" She paused, looking across to the couch. "To put in bluntly, I like having the whole story."
"What are your views on the Geth?"
It was Shepard's turn to hum, what was her opinion? She really did not have one. It would be ridiculously easy to hate them because everyone else did, but easy did not mean right. She did not know enough to form an opinion. She learned the danger of making rash judgments based on limited information first-hand, and never wanted to repeat that mistake again. "Well… that black one could talk. Sure it was a smarmy asshole, but it could talk. As I said, maybe they are beyond reasoning with, and maybe they're not. All we know is what the Quarians say. I will form my opinion once I have more to base it on."
"Fair enough. But you have to admit, if Eden Prime is their way of saying hello to the galaxy, well… that effort was a public relations disaster, and they need to fire the whole advisory team."
Shepard chuckled, "True, I'll give you that."
That pretty much ended the conversation on the topic, Shepard turned back to her work. In another half an hour she finished fetching and organizing things across a number of pads, and even cobbled together an itemized list everything they had. Garrus finished watching the recording and then came up to peruse the other things.
Half an hour after that she had a few additional pads packed and with Garrus leading, they were on their way. The ride was a long one, the longest Skycab hop to date. The vehicle had to cross the enclosed transverse tunnels in the Presidium ring from Zakera to Kithoi Ward, and from there travel nearly half its length until it dipped out of the high speed lanes toward their destination. After a good forty minutes it finally dipped into an enclosed space, through an atmosphere-retaining energy field, and finally to what constituted street level.
They landed in a relatively open plaza-like space that was actually the lower level of a massive tower. Shepard suspected the building above had some governmental purpose as the mezzanine was almost the Presidium-by-proxy. The heavy pillars that supported it were minimized by the inclusion of greenery, pathways, benches, and a single central fountain. Most of the plants were in huge knee-high planter boxes, but the few trees were in boxes recessed into the floor. The lighting was warm, the sort that mimicked the spectrum emissions of a star, to allow photosynthesis.
People wandered the pathways as they talked over communicators, and off to the side Shepard spotted a pair of asari in official looking pantsuits eating sushi with chopsticks out of Japanese takeout boxes as they talked in quiet tones. When she glanced at Garrus, she realized he was watching her, probably letting her soak in the sights. "Well this is certainly very pretty. But we have a date with some databases." She said.
Garrus grinned and motioned with his arm to the doorway at the side of the space. She was not all that surprised that he fell in step with her as she crossed the plaza.
Once past the main doors, they were greeted by an asari as the reception desk who smiled warmly and welcomed them the Library of Council. Shepard thought the place was surprisingly small, only three levels, and relatively dimly-lit as far as the Citadel aesthetic went, but it was also the only physical location where the general public could access the closed intranet databases that made up the LoC's collection. Some people with very special clearance could access the databases remotely, but she would not be privileged with that.
The first floor had rows of standing quick-access terminals for rapid lookups. The second and third floors advertised a quieter environment with study spaces and enclosed secured booths for those who had access to the closed collection. Shepard and Garrus found a space on the second floor with a pair of terminals and a table that allowed Shepard to spread out her pads as she organized the things they pulled up. No one paid the two of them any attention what-so-ever.
Most of the floor here was taken up by people doing academic work. It was hard to miss the four salarians at one of the side tables, engaged in hushed heated rapid-fire jargon-heavy discussion of pharmaceuticals, their applications, and what reacted with what and on what species, probably drilling each other for some standardized test. Shepard was suddenly thankful she did not go into training to be a doctor; she would have never memorized that much.
She spent the next three hours digging, reading through the materials, bouncing ideas with Garrus, and taking notes. The time ticked away without either of them noticing, but they still found very little meat and potatoes. There was a lot of historical context, including period records on the writing of the anti-AI legislature the Council passed after the Quarians were asked to surrender their Citadel embassy, but there was little to nothing on the synthetics themselves. The library's system also did not show indicators of how many records it was not displaying on the open terminals.
Shepard finally pushed away from the work and sighed. She knew a sinking ship when she saw it. Even her well of patience was not bottomless, and now it was at its absolute limit. Much of what they got was just a clearer version of what the Alliance already had. Undoubtedly scholars had combed over this stuff in the past two decades, but there was nothing of use for a soldier who needed a tactical playbook for the battlefield. "I think I'm about ready for a break," she announced, looking at her research partner.
"Are you giving up?" Garrus wondered.
She shook her head, "No, more like… reassessing my approach angle. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes to keep the stuff I need in the closed collection. Of course, only Nihlus' clearances can get us at that." She glanced to the side; the second floor of the library was almost empty now. The salarians had left an hour ago, and the quiet was beginning to bother her. "That is, if that material exists at all." She muttered.
"Some would have to exist. The question is how much." Garrus said.
"Yes, one would think that… but would the Quarians give anyone anything after what happened? Look… the Council refused to aid them when they asked for it, and then to add insult to injury, they took away their embassy. Factor in the dislocation of losing Rannoch, the heavy death tolls, the chaos... I don't know about you, but first, I'd have different priorities, and second, I'd be pretty angry and uncooperative."
"That is a possibility." Garrus affirmed.
"I hope I'm wrong, but… I won't hold my breath." As far as Shepard was concerned the Council treated a laceration by amputation, like the typical myopic politicians that they were. "I see it like this. They passed a law to control the development of synthetics within Council Space, and another to keep people out of the Perseus Veil, ostensibly to prevent the situation getting worse. In reality, I think it is more like they wanted the geth out of sight, out of mind. The law to control the development synthetics was a knee-jerk reaction, it does more to give the Council power to act if anyone created new synthetics, but does nothing to address the ones already made." The more she learned about galactic politics, the easier it became to dislike them. That did not bode well for her as a Spectre candidate.
"Perhaps it is best Kryik is not here. Your low opinion of our illustrious politicians might scandalize him."
Shepard grinned; she thought Nihlus might actually agree. He certainly bent the rules liberally enough to make her think he had his own views on the matter. Before she could say anything, her omni-tool pinged with an incoming message. She looked down on it and grinned, "Speak of the devil."
"The what?"
"It's Nihlus. He got the insurance company to cough up his credits, he wants to know if we're making any progress, and -here I'm quoting- if we need his help. Yet." Shepard looked Garrus in the eye as she spoke. Nihlus knew full well that they would get nothing without his clearances, and he seemed to be in the right sort of obnoxiously good mood to be sending this sort of cocky message to lord it over them as well.
"Do you want to break for a meal while we wait for him to get here?" Garrus asked.
"Not today," Shepard replied as she typed up her reply. "I'm all researched out." She told Nihlus that they made some progress, but the rest could wait until tomorrow. The best part was that it was not technically a lie. As she hit send, she looked up and smiled.
Today's trip was more than just research, Shepard wanted to know she could work with Garrus, and right now she knew she could. They had commonalities that made working with him easy, and he had no major, obvious chips on his shoulder when it came to humans. On top of that, he did what was requested of him with enough enthusiasm. There was still the measure of his combat abilities to take, but she was not worried. Any skill rust that might have accumulated during his time in C-sec could be polished off with a few sessions in a shooting range. Combat prowess was like riding a bicycle. Ultimately he was a turian; she would be shocked if he had serious skill rust to work on.
She got up from her seat and began to pack away the datapads into her bag, then after making sure that the terminals were properly in standby for someone else to use, they left.
The ride back to Zakera Ward was spent just talking as the VI drove. The topics meandered from one thing to another without really lingering or going past small-talk and little jokes, but Shepard was smiling non-stop by the time the Skycab exited the tunnel onto Zakera Ward.
When the car eased onto a kiosk pad, she paid the fare, climbed out, and followed Garrus as he made his way toward their docking area. The car had landed outside the main terminal, so they had to step past one set of doors just to enter the port.
The area beyond the empty security and ticket gates was a long gallery branching off to either side. There were wide, vaguely oblong support pillars running down the center, dividing the space into two lanes. The planter boxes stood empty, the greenery removed to save on maintenance. Shuttered up duty-free stores took up the space between the locked doorways leading to docking bays. The cold dimmed lighting punctuated by the absence of life created a forlorn, somewhat eerie atmosphere. This had been one of the many passenger terminals, but the Council decided they needed a dock for craft with special clearance, essentially out of the way and off limits to the crowds. The Normandy was just one of the ships to get special access. The door leading to their dock lounge was the first on the left, Gate Z-421A, as the sign by the jamb announced in bright holo-neon, the most cheerful thing there.
Garrus stopped a few steps short of their door and turned to look down the gallery to their left. The suddenness of his movement made Shepard follow his gaze instinctively. Off in the distance she spotted two familiar figures standing at an alcove of public access terminals. Nihlus was there, back to the wall, his arms crossed. Shepard recognized the other turian by his white armor and unusual fringe despite the fact that he stood with his back to them.
"What is he doing here?" Garrus wondered, his tone picking up a near-hostile reverb.
The change was unexpected, it set Shepard on edge. "I was under the impression they were friends, so… visiting? He wouldn't be allowed near the Normandy," Shepard replied. Nihlus had gotten a message from him before, so maybe this was something they arranged. Yet as she watched the two turians converse, she began to see the tension in Nihlus. The way he stood did not speak of someone having a casual conversation with a friend, he seemed defensive. Couple that with Garrus' sudden hostility, and Shepard could not help but feel like something was off.
"Why am I not surprised Kryik never told you who mentored him?"
"Spectre Arterius was Nihlus' mentor?" she asked, stunned, as she looked at her companion.
"Yes."
Her mind flashed back to the heated jab Garrus had thrown at Nihlus that one time, and the sharp retort Nihlus fired back. Her own experience with him had not created the impression that the white-clad Spectre was known for congeniality. Nihlus had a peculiar reaction to Saren's message on top. Suddenly it really looked less like a cordial visit, and that set her internal alarms off.
Before Nihlus could spot them; she ducked behind one of the support pillars, putting Saren directly in the line of sight between her and Nihlus. The white-clad turian was taller and larger than Nihlus; Shepard hoped that would work to her advantage.
Garrus was right at her side, back to the pillar. "Are you thinking of eavesdropping?" He whispered.
"Thinking?" Shepard asked, "I'm doing."
"Maybe-"
Shepard ducked out from behind the pillar, eyes on the next, and carefully walked along, quiet as she could, keeping out of what she thought Nihlus' line of sight would have to be.
She stopped behind the next pillar and shifted just enough that she could peer around. After confirming that the two did not move, she slipped out from the other side and quickly, but quietly, made her way to the next pillar.
Now she was about fifteen meters away and she could hear the rumble of voices. They were not whispering, but by no means talking loudly either. This was an underused terminal; surely there was no need to be dodging hearing ranges unless something shady was afoot. Still, only every fifth word carried, not enough for context, she needed to get closer yet, which was riskier with every meter.
The last thing she needed was to be discovered eavesdropping, though her personal odds were good if she kept in mind that turians not only had good hearing, but also a good sense of smell. She had to hope the air here was still enough that her soap would not immediately give her away. One more pillar would do it; she took a deep breath and slipped out. The voices got clearer and clearer with each step and as she ducked behind the next pillar she knew this was the limit. She closed her eyes, and listened.
"… did your research, you would know Shepard is qualified."
Shepard froze, stunned.
"Qualified?" Saren repeated. "Humans laud anyone vaguely more intelligent than a varren. By my standards the Star of Terra is as worthless as the metal it is struck in."
"Elysium-"
"Elysium," Saren sneered, "was fools throwing themselves in small groups at a strong position without confirming where the sniper fire was coming from and deploying appropriate counter-measures. It was to be expected from pirates and mercenaries. If one of them had thought to use a thermal scanner, she would have been spotted and killed. Her success was luck, nothing more. Luck does not make one worthy of the Spectres."
Shepard clenched her fists and forced herself to exhale smoothly through her nose, to control her surging fury. The batarians did have a damn thermal scanner. They had thought of using it. They did kill someone that night. She just learned from that, adapted. Snow was a very good thermal insulator when one lay mostly-buried in it and absolutely still. They also could not use scanners if she shot them before they could get close enough; she had used range to her greatest advantage. She had to learn to fire at longer and longer ranges, anger was a shockingly good motivator for learning on the fly.
"Mercenary stupidity or not, it took fortitude to do what she did!" Nihlus protested.
"Enough. I understand you are indebted to her for saving your life, but carrying on as you do is unbecoming. Even if you are correct and that female is the best of her species, it does not alter the facts. She is nothing more than a tool for the Alliance. Make her a Spectre and her kind will demand a council seat next. Would you give Udina the power to shape galactic policy? Give them a seat, and we will be forced to obey the commands of that arrogant fool. It is a pleasure I will not give him."
Shepard slowly let out a breath she did not even realize she had been holding. As much as she wanted to be furious, she had to agree with those assertions on some level. The Alliance would use her as a stepping stone toward a council seat. She agreed that Udina would make a terrible councilor. She could not even fault Saren's ego for not wanting to be under his thumb. Still, none of that excused the fact that they were having this conversation to begin with. Nothing excused Nihlus not shutting it down.
"Udina is a boor, yes… but you are being unreasonable, I-" Nihlus protested.
"I said enough, Nihlus!" Saren interrupted coldly. "You are making the worst mistake of your career with your impulsiveness!"
"So what would you do?" Nihlus replied, a flash of annoyance in his voice.
"Fix it. One unfavorable report will be enough for Sparatus and Valern." Saren replied.
Shepard's fury soared. She could not believe her ears. Saren wanted Nihlus to sabotage her? Of all the low-
"Do you honestly think I can do that at this point? The Alliance will suspect. Shepard knows Anderson. No." Nihlus replied.
Shepard froze, how did Captain Anderson fit into this picture?
"I am aware of that caveat. This is why I am not telling you to do more."
More? What more? Surely not- did Saren just imply that if Captain Anderson was not in the picture, he would have suggested something violent?
"That barefaced mongrel!" A quiet voice growled in her ear, over the comm link.
Shepard almost jumped, she forgot that Garrus was there and could hear everything too.
"Kryik too." Garrus went on.
Shepard did not dare to whisper a reply this close to them. She glanced back the way she came and spotted Garrus behind the next pillar over; apparently close enough for his hearing. Was he right when he accused Nihlus of being no better than his mentor? Was she now seeing the harmful subterfuge? Suddenly his distance from the crew took on a whole different slant. Had she ignored the warning signs?
"You will do this." Saren stated with the tone of finality.
Whatever reply Nihlus made was under his breath, Shepard's integrated translator failed to make the pickup. Right at that moment, she found it difficult to care. If Nihlus agreed to stab her in the back, he would not be able to, because now she knew he would try. When she heard footsteps in a heavier, unfamiliar cadence drawing near and instinctively froze to the spot. It had to be Saren. Nihlus' footsteps had a different tempo and pitch.
The footsteps paused somewhere nearby and her heart leapt into her throat. Was Saren on the other side of the pillar? She looked to her left, Garrus had shifted to dodge being spotted himself, but he was watching her. The footsteps resumed a second later and Shepard exhaled slowly, watching Saren as he walked toward the security gate. Talk about being proverbially trapped between a rock and a hard place, she thought to herself. Then she heard another set of footsteps on her right, this time in Nihlus' familiar tempo.
"Spirits, what a mess," Nihlus muttered, somewhere very close to her hiding spot. His armor creaked as he shifted his weight.
Shepard clenched her jaw, willing with all her might for him to move on. He was too close; one more centimeter could make him catch a whiff of her soap. Her heartbeat was thundering in her ears, but she forced herself to breathe slowly and evenly. How would she explain this? The first time had been harmless, a prank. This time was outright spying, and given what she overheard, not nearly as harmless. She was not sorry, if she had not spied she would not know what an underhanded snake Saren was, but also what a danger Nihlus posed. She wanted to think her personal danger sense was quite sharp. It certainly picked up this.
The footsteps resumed. Shepard remained where she was, but turned to watch Nihlus go toward the doors leading to the Normandy's dock. At that moment she could hardly keep her glare at bay. As the door opened, she glanced at Garrus. His mandibles were drawn up tight to his jaw; he looked like he was barely containing his anger, and he was not even the wronged party. When the door closed, Garrus waited all of five seconds to break cover and walk toward her.
"What will you do now?" he asked.
"I-" The sound of his voice brought her out of her momentary trance. What could she do? Did Nihlus know she had spied on them? If she went to the Normandy now and gave Nihlus a piece of her mind, he would know she had been spying. Timing was a tad too inconvenient.
"You should not let Kryik back aboard your ship."
"This is a delicate situation," Shepard replied, though the words sounded weak even to her own ears. There were many different reasons why she should not let Nihlus get away with this, but they were all overshadowed by a deeply personal reason why she could not act. If she washed out of Spectre candidacy on a bad performance review the brass would have her bars. Her career would be over. It was being selfish, but she wanted to keep her career.
"There is nothing delicate about it! He intends to lie to the Council and at worst-"
"I know! I just… I can't just jump into the situation rashly." Shepard began to pace. As things stood, if Nihlus went up in front of Sparatus and Valern and said that he had been wrong, and no, she was not Spectre material, the Alliance would have no leg to stand on. Even worse, plenty would be inclined to believe that the golden screw-up had screwed up again.
She turned, pacing in the other direction. What would she do if she was not in the Alliance navy? What could a highly trained N7 do in the civilian sector? She did not see herself turning private military corps, or bodyguard, but those were in fact the only skills she had. It was not an exaggeration to say that she grew up knowing she would be in the Alliance. Everything went into that. She had no plan B. Now that was in jeopardy, and the only recourse was to find a way to disarm the trap.
She turned again, switching direction. Was Saren aware just how effective his suggestion was? He seemed to be aware of a bit more than one might think. How did he find out about her connection to Captain Anderson? What was the connection there? That was something she might have to ask directly, but how to do so without tipping Captain Anderson off?
She glanced back at Garrus and was taken aback by the expression on his face. He had the sort of look that heralded a barely contained explosion, his mandibles twitching in agitation, a deep shadow cast over his eyes, making the blue color darker and even more intense. "Commander, with all due respect, there is nothing to think about. My armor recorded the conversation, the recording-"
"No," she cut in, surprisingly feeling calmer than she was a moment ago. "There is always something to consider." The fact that Garrus recorded the conversation was a new card in play, but how and when to play it? It was evidence of corrupt dealing, something she could potentially show to both sides.
She was appalled to realize that she should have been recording the conversation herself from the moment she realized they were talking about her, instead now she had to thank the wherewithal of someone who was almost a complete stranger. She trusted Nihlus, and now he was turning out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Well, no matter, what is done, is done. She had to play her cards as they were dealt then.
With the Council she could try and prove that Nihlus was less than truthful on any report he filed. Still, how far would that go? She had no friends among them. She also knew they were typical politicians at that. Their solution would benefit them foremost. No, the recording would not get her far with the Council. Her candidacy would be over, but she would look like a whiny brat crying foul play in the process. Add to that, Nihlus had plenty of other incriminating material on her as well. He could make things far worse if she made him go for the big guns.
If she was to show the recording to the Alliance brass, she could claim that she did not screw up, that her performance review and loss of candidacy was nothing short of fabrication. It might save her bars. Yet there would be fallout, and as she began to weigh it, she realized it was almost worse than the problem to begin with. The minute the recording got out, the brass would be up in arms over clear evidence that at least one Spectre is pulling the strings behind the scenes out of anti-human sentiments. The fact that both Spectres involved happened to be turians would be early Christmas for the saber-rattlers. This was the same caliber of mess as the case with Sparatus' secretary. Saving her neck meant she would be the whistle-blower at the center of a scandal, exactly where she never wanted to be. That was hardly having her cake and eating it too. The recording could only make her a pariah of one kind or another.
So where did that leave her? What other options did she have? There was the unknown factor. Would Nihlus actually do as Saren told him? She wanted to say no, wanted to think he was better than that. The childlike optimist inside her wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. The pessimist insisted she was being stupid. One could trust a turian to follow the commands of a superior. But then this was Nihlus, a turian who broke rules routinely enough. So what would he do?
"Commander?" Garrus asked.
"A million credit question for you, Garrus. Would Nihlus actually do it?" It boiled down to essentially whether or not Nihlus was still loyal to Saren on a personal level. She could gamble on the dark horse, because betting on it seemed to be the only chance she had for a clear win. If he proved to have integrity, she could have her cake and eat it too.
"From where I am standing, he will do it." Garrus replied.
"And I have known him a bit longer... so I want to think that he will not." She replied calmly. Once she knew where Nihlus' loyalties lay, she could plan for Saren's next steps. She was not naïve enough to think he would not have a backup plan. She was also keenly aware of the look Garrus was giving her. Was he seeing her in a new light? Probably was. Well there was no helping it.
"It is ultimately your decision to make, Commander. I apologize if I came across as overly-insistent."
Somehow Shepard thought the words were less than sincere. It was clear that Garrus had his own ideas of how to do things. Right now he was simply backing down because he realized she would still do as she pleased. "It is alright, no harm done." She was not petty enough to hold it against him.
"Kind of makes me wish we stayed in the library to do more research," Garrus said after a long silence.
Shepard opened her mouth to say something about that comment, but she realized that Garrus hit the nail on the head. Had they remained in the library, had she asked Nihlus to come in so they could use his access clearances, he would not have had this conversation with Saren. It was a pointless exercise of wistful thinking, but in a morose way, it was still amusing.
Garrus paused, cocking his head to the side. "You… intend to give him a chance?"
Shepard sighed. Really, what other option did she have? "I have to… I rather deal with the consequences than-" make a rash, false accusation. There was no winning anything by using the recording preemptively. In fact, she stood to lose more. If there was even a slim chance that Nihlus did not intend to do as Saren told him, then accusing him of it would be the worst thing she could do. If he did mean to betray her, then she had a forewarning, he could not catch her unaware.
Garrus nodded. "If Kryik intends to act like a bareface… well… I have your back."
"Thank you." Shepard replied. "Though I hope it won't come down to that." She did, because if Nihlus proved to be rotten at the core, she did not want Garrus to be caught in the crossfire. No one else needed to suffer because of her.
They returned to the Normandy about twenty minutes later. Shepard was resolutely set on pretending she knew nothing. Having left her research material in the OD, she ventured down to the mess. There was no sign of Nihlus, he seemed to have vanished right back into the XO's cabin. Her marines and Joker were seated around one of the tables, apparently doing nothing in particular.
"Hey," she greeted.
"Hey, Commander." Joker replied.
"So what's going on?"
"Jenkins was telling us about his new shooting record," Kaidan said.
"Yes, I was! I almost beat the chief in a speed run! My aim is getting better!" Jenkins jumped in.
"It is," Ashley agreed with pride in her voice, "but you're still a little ways off beating me. I'll consider myself beat when you can put a headshot with a pistol from a hundred meters."
"So what are you teaching him, Gunny?" Shepard wondered.
"Oh, just getting him really used to shooting. Basic training just covers the basics, but they don't give them enough time to really… get the feel for it. Confidence with weapons is important; they have to feel like an extension of your body." Ashley explained, but in that moment she was looking more at Jenkins than her.
Shepard grinned, "Indeed, doubly so when you're using a sniper rifle at one thousand meters. One degree off translates to centimeters down range, and that's before wind and gravity come into play. Well, Richard, the day you can do headshots with a pistol at one hundred, I'll teach you to shoot long distance."
"You will, Commander?"
"You bet. We'll make a crack-shot out of you yet." Shepard replied.
"Awesome! Thank you!" Jenkins cheered, suddenly gleefully happy.
"Yea, alright, settle down Richie, I bet they heard that back at Arcturus." Joker grumbled, rubbing at his ear.
"Sorry," the corporal mumbled, but there was no real contrition there as he was grinning from ear to ear.
Shepard smiled. There was something to the simple pleasures of watching an enthusiastic marine develop his skills. She was not kidding either, if Jenkins developed a solid foundational basis, she would teach him to shoot a sniper rifle. Even if he never became a true sniper, it would still help him. Just being able to shoot true with various weapons would improve his versatility. Sniping skills were fifty percent foundation, thirty percent perseverance, and twenty percent talent. Even if Jenkins lacked the natural talent of a crack-shot, she could still give him something.
"Joker, has anyone ever told you that you can be a real ass sometimes?" Ashley wondered.
"Often enough," Joker replied bluntly, "that it has stopped bothering me."
"That's not something you should be proud of." Kaidan mused.
"That's alright, Lieutenant Moreau is just jealous of the attention I'm getting." Jenkins said with a shit-eating grin.
"Oh! Isn't that just the truth?" Ashley laughed.
Kaidan cracked a smile. Joker glared at all three of them as best he could, but did not offer a retort. Whether that was because he had nothing, or he realized its best to let them be, Shepard could not be sure. Shepard tried not to be seen grinning as well. "Ashley, the offer is open to you as well," she said.
"Oh. Thanks, but I think I'll leave the long distance shooting to the expert, ma'am. To be honest, I prefer the direct, assault rifle approach."
"Alright then, offer's going to remain open."
"I appreciate that, ma'am." Ashley nodded.
Before Shepard could say anything more, the door to the XO's cabin opened and Nihlus stepped out, clad in his casuals, and their gazes met. Shepard smiled at him. The tomfoolery of her crew fanned away some of the miasma of negativity of the past hour. Nihlus froze for a moment; green eyes locked on her, mandibles drawn up against his jaw, but then continued toward the elevator as if nothing had happened.
It was forty minutes before Shepard could resume business as usual. When she initially meant to go up to the OD she bumped into Garrus coming around the elevator, and they ended up ensconced in Life Support to conspire. When asked about things, EDI only assured them that if Nihlus planned to do anything, she would know. This only made Shepard wonder for the umpteenth time what the AI knew that they did not. Nevertheless she walked away with Garrus' recording of the conversation on her omni-tool and the conviction that Garrus had a Saren-shaped chip on his shoulder. The way the ex-detective talked about the white-clad Spectre made it abundantly clear that he had no kind words to spare. Shepard could not help but wonder where that animosity was coming from, but knew better than to ask.
Now as she stepped off the elevator, the CIC was largely empty, just one crewmember monitoring the ship's systems with one eye, reading a datapad with the other. All of the Normandy's systems were in standby as they would be staying at the Citadel for at least another day, so there was hardly anything to monitor. She turned to her left and entered the OD, but two steps inside the door she froze. Nihlus was positively comfortable on the couch under the viewports, one foot up, the other on the floor; reading something or other, a cup of steaming drink waiting for him on the coffee table. There were two more pads on the table and an OSD as well. A moment later she moved deeper into the room, allowing the door to close behind her.
"Shepard," he murmured without turning his head.
She did not reply, instead she perched on furthest end of the couch extension.
Nihlus looked up and lowered the pad. His eyes locked on her, deep and scrutinizing. Did he expect her to go on the attack? "Something from the Council?" she asked, looking at the pad. Last time she had caught him comfortable on that couch, they ended up on Eden Prime hours later, and shit hit a fan.
He dropped his other foot onto the floor and sat up, "No. I was reviewing some of the data we retrieved at the Eclipse base. I had to put that investigation on hold for a while, but it is still outstanding. Not all Spectre assignments are high profile like Eden Prime. I thought you would be interested in something simpler."
"I might be. You said it was localized to the sector, right? Smuggling?" Shepard was becoming more and more uncomfortable by the moment. Was he aware that she had been spying? Some paranoid part of her mind wandered if this was his way of setting her up to take a fall. She let the silence linger, an issue of simply not knowing what to say. Suddenly there was a mine-field between them, and she really did not like it being there, but there was no helping it.
Nihlus flicked the pad onto the coffee table, it landed with a clatter that broke the silence between them as effectively as a gunshot. "Shepard, do you intend to bring up what happened?" he asked.
"What?" Shepard replied.
"You know what Saren and I talked about."
Shepard knew better than to deny it, playing stupid in this situation would not help anyone.
"I know you were there with Vakarian."
"I won't apologize," Shepard replied.
Nihlus sighed, "No, you would not, and you are right not to, but you should not have been eavesdropping on us."
"And why not?" Shepard asked sharply. "No. I suppose I shouldn't have. Well I am sorry, Spectre Kryik, if I complicated your life with my excellent sense of danger."
"Spirits." Nihlus shook his head. "Think, Shepard! If I know you were there, Saren knows you were there!"
"I am not afraid of him," Shepard replied sharply.
"Good! But what about Vakarian?" Nihlus asked.
Shepard opened her mouth; she wanted to say that Garrus would not be afraid of Saren either. Hell, Garrus would probably relish a chance to bring Saren down, what with the chip on his shoulder. Still, as most trains of thought go, this one kept rolling, and in that moment a thought occurred to her which caused her to stop cold. If Saren knew they were both there, what stopped him from trying to cover his tracks? If he was indeed as corrupt as Garrus suspected, then the ex-detective effectively painted a target on his own back. Was Nihlus warning her merely to protect Garrus? If he was, then he had an outright twisted sense of right and wrong.
The Spectre got to his feet, seemingly keen on putting some distance between them, "Shepard, Saren and I… we go back."
"He mentored you," Shepard stated blandly, was it really all that hard not to mince words?
"Vakarian told you." Nihlus sighed as he began to pace. "Spirits. I never wanted you to find out."
She sat and watched him; suddenly it looked like of the two of them, he was the very much distressed party. She just could not tell if it was an award-worthy performance or a genuine thing.
"Listen, Shepard. I-" he stopped, looked at her, "I never wanted you to meet Saren. Not until you made Spectre and he would have no say in the matter. I knew if you met before that, he would want me to break it off."
"To sabotage me?" Shepard asked blandly.
"Saren is-"
"Don't make excuses for him," Shepard interrupted.
Nihlus sighed again, "You are right. There is no excusing that. This is coming out all wrong."
"Sure," coming out all wrong, huh? Did he have a routine pre-planned in which her role was to blindly forgive him, hug him better, and move on? "He's a human-hating asshole, but he was your mentor and is your friend, I get it."
"You do not get it! I never intended to do as he told me!" Nihlus protested, his voice spiking in volume. "I meant to make him think I would look for an opportunity, nothing more." It lowered. "Spirits, I tried to reason with him, convince him to abandon the idea. I thought if he knew that you are close to Anderson it would- but no, I suppose it is all the more reason why he wants me to do it."
"How does Captain Anderson factor into this?" Shepard asked. Maybe he would not lie about that part.
"You do not know?" Nihlus asked, his brow plates climbing up in surprise. "Eighteen years ago, Anderson was the first human Spectre candidate, and Saren was assigned perform the evaluation and mentoring."
Shepard froze as realization dawned on her. Since Captain Anderson never made Spectre, and to be sure never talked about it, she could infer Saren had sabotaged him. Then quite suddenly she remembered why Saren's name rang a bell. She had heard it before.
She had been eleven at the time, too young to really pay attention to what was going on when it was not an alarm, but she heard it from Captain Anderson himself. The Einstein was docked on Arcturus for the annual top-to-bottom inspection, and he came to visit her mother at their family quarters aboard.
It must have been shortly after the incident, because the conversation turned to the topic somehow. Captain Anderson became angry, Shepard could only recall the way he spat Saren's name, voice raised, the only time she had ever heard the captain get angry and raise his voice. Her mother ordered her to run to the medbay to get her some migraine pills. In hindsight that had been to get her out of the room while they talked. The whole incident left such a trivial impression that the memory had been tucked into some back corner until it was jarred by new context.
"I do not need to explain why Saren thinks Humans are not ready for Spectre status. You heard it from him, but… I do not agree with him. I never did." He went on.
Shepard hummed, and suddenly something clicked in her mind. "Wait… When I asked you why you nominated me…" He stopped and looked at her so suddenly it could have very well been his answer before she even finished the question. "You were paraphrasing something he once said."
"I was," he resumed pacing.
"Alright. So… what… you want me to prove him wrong?" Shepard asked next.
He stopped cold, mid-step, just froze. Shepard knew she had hit that one on the head. "When you put it like that, it sounds… bad."
"Bad does not begin covering it." Shepard replied.
"Sarcasm that I probably deserve aside, why are you so calm?" he asked.
He was dodging the question, trying to distract her. "Will my anger help the situation?" She asked. "Nihlus sit down please; I'm going to hurt my neck looking up."
He let out a rush of air that might have been a sigh, but sat down nonetheless.
"Tell me the truth; did you nominate me so I could prove Saren wrong?" She thought the idea had to factor in there somewhere, and right now he was pacing because the plan to keep her from finding out had been blown to kingdom-come.
"No. Well… yes… but not only for that." Nihlus replied. "Shepard, I did not lie to you. I think you would be an exceptional Spectre. The fact that you are letting me explain myself… that you are so calm..."
Shepard hummed; maybe she ought to cut him loose. He was clearly floundering to explain himself. "Alright, but- I am still uncertain of where we stand. Saren wants you to sabotage me, and while you're telling me that you have no intention of doing so, pardon me, but I would be foolish to take your word for it."
"I understand that."
"So where does that put us?" Shepard asked.
Nihlus picked up the OSD and held it out to her, "Now I prove my honor, and this is my way of doing it."
Shepard took the OSD mutely, where was he going with this one?
"That contains a quality recording of my conversation with Saren, beginning to end." He explained, as if reading her mind. "EDI put the file on that drive, so I assume she has a copy of it in her memory as well."
"EDI you've been in on this all along, weren't you?" Shepard wondered.
"Yes. Spectre Kryik requested I provide surety for the contents of the device. He insisted I do so, because he surmised you would trust me more than him. I can confirm that it is a recording of the conversation Spectre Kryik had with Spectre Arterius." EDI replied.
Shepard took the OSD wordlessly. Of all the ways Nihlus could have tried to persuade her that he was on the level, she did not expect him to provide her with self-incriminating evidence. He either had absolutely no shame and nothing to lose, or he was genuine. There was no logical counter-point to this. If Saren knew of the recording and they staged it to disarm her in the event of her spying on them, the recording was too good at incriminating them. That possibility was too preposterous as an idea to consider. This left only one possibility. Nihlus had clandestinely recorded the conversation without Saren's knowledge. Why? She could not be sure. But the act itself meant he tossed his chips in with her. "I'll accept this. But-"
"Your trust is not so easily won back," Nihlus murmured, his voice dipped into a whisper as his gaze slid to the floor.
Was it just her hearing, or did he sound dejected? Still, she was not going to go soft on him. His act of repentance did not erase the record of every clandestine machination he pulled, and would probably continue to pull. There was a devious, manipulative mind in there. Worst, Shepard knew she could do nothing about it without being a hypocrite. She had her own stakes in the game, and a smile to boot.
In the end, they were two peas in a pod, neither truly honest with the other without a reason. About the only thing that bothered her, was that Nihlus seemed well on his way to giving EDI an example to follow. It remained to see whether that was a good thing or not. For now she would have to wait and see.
Author Notes: Yep, Nihlus found himself faced with the immovable object and the unstoppable force. Which one will give? I did not give Saren a cameo earlier without a reason. I never do anything without a reason.
General Notes:
On the Episode's Title – An Eminence Grise is someone who wields considerable influence and/or power without the benefit of a formal title. The first "Eminence Grise" was Francois Leclerc du Tremblay (1577 – 1638), the right hand, confidant, and agent of Cardinal Richelieu (1585 – 1642). He was a Capuchin Friar, and so wore a grey robe over his habit. Richelieu would have been addressed as "His/Your Eminence", and his right-hand kind of got that address by proxy, though highly informally, and perhaps a touch grudgingly. I found the image oddly suited Saren both in the literal sense of how much influence he pulls behind the scenes (which in my canon, he does…) and the fact that his "image color" is white, or very light grey.
Chapter Notes:
Shockingly… none.