Chapter Thirteen
When I put my lips on you
You feel the shivers go up and down your spine for me
Make you cry for me
When I put my lips on you
I hear your voice echoing all through the night for me
Cry for me
~Lips On You by Maroon 5~
The Deep Roads
Day 15
What a horrifically terrible day. As Varric said earlier, we seem to have snatched defeat straight from the jaws of victory. If I weren't so angry, I would definitely laugh at that. Bartrand is a heartless bastard. He not only took the treasure he wanted for himself and betrayed us, he betrayed his own brother! My heart breaks for Varric. Of course, he only shows the anger he's feeling over all this, but I can see the pain he tries very hard not to feel. When I imagine Carver doing something similar...I can't even contemplate it, really. It would break something inside me to have my own blood enact such treachery against me. I hope I can find a way to help Varric heal from all this.
But on to our real problem. We are locked out of the way back, which means Bartrand planned for our deaths, as well. Apparently, he really doesn't know who he is dealing with, as death is most decidedly NOT going to be on the agenda, for any of us. I will get us all out of here, one way or another, it's what I do best. Anders says there are a number of paths and tunnels we can take, it's just a matter of trial and error finding our way out of this deep pit, and we will find our way out.
The Deep Roads
Day 17
We've made quite good progress. Anders and Varric both think we only have another day's journey or so, until we are completely free of this ancient Thaig. We are taking today to rest. Fenris seems to have eaten something that didn't agree with him, and even with Anders' healing and several potions drunk, he is still miserable, poor soul.
Truthfully, I think we can all use a little break. Not only are we weary in body, but in spirit too, and I daresay weariness of the spirit is far more difficult to rid yourself of. When we get out of here, I swear I will never again take fresh air and sunshine for granted, or a light, soft rain against my face while walking along the coast… I better stop before I make myself weep, and I can already feel Anders' eyes boring into me now. Perhaps I should write down one of my racier fantasies, for his benefit, and just casually leave it out for him to find. Ah, his little worried frown is gone and now he looks curious. Crisis averted.
The Deep Roads
Day 20
Thank the Maker, we did it! We had to battle demons, something called the Profane, and a Rock Wraith spirit, creature-thing that nearly refused to die, but we prevailed in the end. And holy shit, did we ever strike it rich! That Wraith was guarding a treasure pile big enough to satisfy all our needs for wealth, and then some. There were even some beautiful mage robes in one of the chests, and several different types of staves, Anders helped me pick one.
I've decided to embrace the style of fighting I have adopted down here, of wielding a sword and a staff at the same time. Anders' constant encouragement for me to accept and use my magical gifts has made a big difference in how I see myself. When I use my magic, fights are over in a fraction of the time that it takes me to whittle away at something with sword and dagger. I suppose I'm just getting more impatient as I age, but I can think of lots of other things I would like to do than draw out a fight.
Like Anders...I would definitely like to do him… I'm sure there must be a nice, quiet room around here we can sneak off to and make excellent use of. I definitely feel his eyes on me again, it's almost like a physical caress. I wonder how he always seems to know when I'm thinking about him? Is there something to Varric's assertions that we seem to share a mind? If so, it is definitely one-sided, as I can never be sure what Anders is thinking. Although, if he really knew what my thoughts have been lately, I like to think he would actually do something about it.
Hawke closed her journal and looked up, immediately locking eyes with Anders, just as she knew she would. There was something provoking in the look he had trained on her, like he was silently daring her to do something about the heat and tension that seemed to constantly swirl between them. Her lips curled in a small smile. In the twelve days since they had officially decided to explore something beyond just friendship, they had the opportunity for privacy exactly twice.
The first time only ended up being a few kisses before they were interrupted. The second instance was more promising, with them actually progressing to some light petting, but only on top of their clothes. He had begun to look a bit desperate ever since, and she must have discovered a previously unknown cruel streak, because she definitely enjoyed watching him get ever closer to spontaneous combustion. She bit the tip of her thumb, wondering what she might do to push him a bit closer to the edge of the cliff.
Varric chuckled, drawing her gaze to where he and Fenris were playing cards together. He shook his head and smirked. "Not that it hasn't been entertaining watching you constantly eye-fuck each other, but you could have a little mercy on Blondie, Hawke. You'll make him explode if you keep it up."
"Gee, thanks, Varric," Anders muttered in an annoyed tone, making Hawke grin. Standing, she grabbed one of the smaller packs with necessities and both her staff and Anders, beckoning him toward the passage. "Anders and I are going to do some exploring, don't wait up for us," she tossed over her shoulder, smiling at the laughter from both Varric and Fenris.
They walked in silence, Anders taking the lead, as usual, due to his ability to steer them away from the darkspawn. Hawke fixed her gaze on his shoulders while he walked, a favored view of hers, but did allow her eyes to trail lower from time to time. He was only about a head taller than her, but he was considerably broader and more muscled that her decidedly petite frame. He had picked her up and carried her before, easily it seemed, and damned if that didn't turn her on completely. She had been anticipating the time when they would finally be able to be together, and her stomach kept flipping, turning over with excitement and nerves.
Anders reached back to take her hand, helping her over the broken stone that littered the path, and slipping into a corridor, then immediately after into a side-room she hadn't seen before. He pushed the door closed with the sound of grinding stone, then took his staff and hers, slotting them into the metal holders designed to bar the door closed. She glanced around the chamber, wondering what it had originally been used for. There was what looked like a stone table in the middle of the room, but little else.
"Have you been here before?" she asked, still trying to picture the room full of dwarves, not ancient with decay. She looked over to him and found him leaning against the wall near the door, his arms crossed and an indecipherable look on his face, a gleam in his eyes that made her shift and bite the inside of her cheek.
"Have you enjoyed tormenting me, Marian? Day in and day out, your sexy little half smiles, biting on your thumb, chewing your lip… Enticing me, making me want you until I can't even think straight."
She chuckled nervously and shifted her weight again. "It was just normal flirtation, like we always.."
"No, no, it wasn't." He cut her off, his lips tipped up in a slight smile that made her suddenly want to turn around and run away, except there wasn't anywhere to run to. "It was focused, deliberate, provoking."
She crossed her arms, mirroring his position. "Sorry?"
"Are you?" He challenged. "Because you certainly don't sound very sorry."
Narrowing her eyes, she wondered exactly why they were wasting time. Maybe she could hurry him along. "Not particularly." Her hands first went to her leather vest, undoing the hooks and dropping it to the floor, then to the laces on her tunic and opened them while she held his gaze. "But I could try and make it up to you, if you like." When her tunic slid down and pooled on the floor and her hands went to her breast binding, he finally spoke again.
"Stop. Come here."
When she stood in front of him, he hooked one finger in the front of her breast binding and pulled her against him. "Take off my clothes," he murmured seductively, making her shiver from the sound of his voice so near her ear, and his touch when he stroked the fingertips of both hands down her back. Making quick work of his coat, then his tunic, she slid her hands across his bare chest. He tipped her chin up and kissed her for the first time since they entered the room, but when she tried to deepen it, he moved away. When she tried again and he did the same thing, she pulled back to look at him.
"Anders…" She was dismayed to hear her voice come out more than a bit whiny. "Why are you acting like this?"
"But this is what you wanted, isn't it? You wanted to see me react to your teasing."
"No, not like this, more like I hoped you would throw me down, rip off my clothes and fuck my brains out," she muttered, half turning away and feeling her arousal start to fade due to her frustration. "Maybe we shouldn't…"
Without allowing her to finish, Anders grabbed her head with both hands and devoured her mouth, his tongue dominating hers, long minutes passing when his lips and tongue were all she knew, the only reality. Could you be drugged just by someone's kiss? It almost felt like she had drunk a glass of wine, or two.
"It's much more enjoyable when we both get what we want, isn't it?" He whispered in her ear between kisses. Her senses were too overwhelmed by his touch to give any sort of reply aloud, but she silently agreed with him, nodding her head.
Her breast band fell away and then his mouth was there next, his lips and tongue bringing a fresh flood of wetness to her smalls. His teeth scraped lightly across one of her nipples, making her moan. Her hands went to his head, knocking out his tie and enjoying the heavy spill of his red-gold hair over her fingers. He flicked his eyes up and met her gaze right before he released her nipple from his mouth, looking like her own personal demon of desire, in the flesh. Her heart sped at the erotic picture that image of him painted and she knew she would never forget it.
He knelt and took off her shoes and her trousers, then his own, leaving them both in nothing but smalls, then backed her against the wall. Still kneeling in front of her, he slid his hands across her backside and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her belly button, smiling when she squealed and tried to twist away from the ticklish feeling. He pulled her more tightly against his mouth when he sucked at her mound through her small clothes. "Oh, gods," she whispered, wondering how it could feel so good while she was still in her smalls.
"Marian," he murmured, in that tone that made her insides clench and flood with need, waiting to drown him in her slick desire. Could she come just from the sound of his voice, alone? She probably could. His hot breath fanned across her when he laughed and called her name again.
"Hmm?" It was the most intelligent response she could manage, earning her another smoky laugh from that voice, that had her moaning and giving an involuntary thrust of her hips against his face.
"I'm going to taste you now and finally feast on this pretty cunt that's dripping for my tongue. Do you want to watch me?"
She nodded vigorously. Oh, gods, she loved it when he spoke to her that way, naughty, with so much confidence in his voice. She was distantly aware of him sliding her smalls off and lifting one of her legs onto his shoulder. Feeling his breath against her bare sex made her muscles clench again. She bit down hard on her bottom lip, helpless against the trembling in her limbs, the anticipation, she had never felt this way before. So aroused, so hyper-sensitive to touch, as though her ability to think was completely drowned out by how Anders affected her body, and he seemed to amplify everything she felt.
"Marian, you have to open your eyes if you want to watch, love."
"Oh." Somehow, she managed to pry her eyelids open and look down. To the image of a naked Anders sitting between her legs, his hair hanging free, cock standing proud against the treasure trail of hair on his abdomen. He had a sprinkling of freckles on the tops of his shoulders, she never would have guessed that. An old silvery scar that looked like striking lightning crawled along his ribs on the right side. But it was when she saw his molten brown eyes that she sucked in a sharp breath, that lusty, hungry look that made her weak in the knees...weaker in the knees. She was frozen for an endless moment, afraid for him to move but so desperate for it too.
I'm going to come before he ever touches me.
"You won't come before I touch you, love, relax." His words and smirk made her mouth fall open in shock.
"Are...you reading my mind?"
He rubbed his nose back and forth just above her pubic bone, tickling the skin there. "I don't have to, you wear all your thoughts openly on your face, Marian, you always have with me. Are you ready?"
"Yes," she whispered, shaking her head no, because it was honestly how she felt, so conflicted. Maybe a little afraid? It wasn't like she was very experienced, for Maker's sake. What if she disappointed him or he didn't like her body as much as he thought he would, or…? Then his tongue was there, right there, his mouth so undeniably hot against her, with exactly the right pressure and in exactly the right place. It couldn't possibly have been more than twenty seconds or maybe thirty, and she was flying, floating, shaking, coming so hard against what had to be the most skilled tongue in all Thedas, her strangled moan sounding more than a little overcome and desperate to her own ears. Her heart was trying to pound its way out of her chest, her cheeks flushed like they were on fire, and Oh, Maker! he wasn't stopping...he was going to make her come again.
Marian tangled one hand in the loose strands of his hair, mesmerized by the sensual and beautiful sight of him eagerly tonguing her drenched slit, and he looked like he was really relishing it, the entire experience, not doing it because he felt he had to. He wasn't the least bit shy or self-conscious about any of it, the loud sound of his wet lapping, licking and sucking or the deep groans he made that kept vibrating into her core, pushing her ever closer to another peak. Her breathy moan seemed to be a signal he was waiting for, a sudden flash of eagerness in his brown eyes her only warning before he thrust two of his fingers deep inside and curled them to hit…
"Oh, gods, Anders! Gods!" She pulled harder on his hair when the climax tore through her, the pleasure stealing all the strength that was left in her legs when it gradually faded, Anders' hands the only thing keeping her upright when he finally stilled. She slowly licked her dry lips, inhaled a deep breath and smiled, feeling completely drunk, giggling from it. "I'm going to fall, I don't feel like I have any bones in my body." He guided her to his lap and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and laughed. "I feel like I just slammed two bottles of wine on an empty stomach. How did you do that?" His smile was cocky, arrogant almost to the point of being annoying, but she had to concede he had cause to look that way.
"You made it easy for me, sweetheart, you're very sensitive and responsive to my touch." He caressed one of her breasts, watching her face while he did. When he pinched her nipple her back arched involuntarily, making him grin.
Looking down, she gripped his cock and pumped him once, then ran her fingers lightly against him before looking up again. He was watching her, and he seemed to be waiting for her to do something, so she decided to forge ahead and ask for what she wanted.
"Can I have this now?" She slowly drug her thumb over the wet head of his cock, then stuck her thumb in her mouth and sucked, watching his pupils dilate with arousal from her actions.
"Of course. Where do you want it?"
"Inside me," she answered honestly, then tilted her head. "But I can use my mouth first." She grinned mischievously. "As long as you aren't afraid of me using my mouth on you. Feeling brave, Anders?"
He gave her an amused smile and pulled her to him for a kiss that set her insides fluttering again and made her clench her inner muscles at the too empty feeling inside. His kisses moved to her neck while he maneuvered her onto her back with his coat beneath. She reached for him to guide him to her entrance, more than ready for him to fill her, since that was clearly what he chose.
Her hands rested on his shoulders and her eyes never left his while he slowly pushed inside her, stretching her, making her feel so full. The sensation was just shy of painful, but the burn, the pleasurable heat of her body giving way to his was one of the best things she'd ever felt, distantly amused that Varric had obviously been right about the importance of girth.
"Anders..." His name left her on a breathy sigh, full of wonder at the astonishing perfection of their joining; his eyes darkening further with desire at what he saw on her face and read in her eyes.
"I love the way you feel, Marian." She clenched around him making him shudder, before he withdrew most of the way, then thrust back in, repeating the movement while he varied his angle every time.
"I love how excited you get when you know I'm going to touch you." His kissed her neck and sucked the skin of her throat into his mouth before releasing it. "I love it when you come on my tongue." He sucked on her ear, his hands sliding over her curves, caressing her breasts, brushing her dark hair back out of her eyes.
"I love how you respond to my voice," he murmured, in that deep tone that drew a moan from her, making him smile. He reached down and rubbed the heel of his hand against her clit, his hips snapping with quick, sharp thrusts that made her dig her heels into his back and behind before she arched her back and shuddered through another peak, pulling him along to his own orgasm, right after her. Marian briefly closed her eyes while she worked through her shock; she never expected sex could be like that, so multi-layered, so...overwhelming. They laid unmoving and quiet, their bodies still connected. Anders kissed her tenderly, his eyes soft and sated. "And I especially love how easy it is to make you come."
She laughed, smiling up at him, brushing some of his hair out of his eyes. "You look like a wild god of pleasure. I'm glad I get to have you with your hair loose when we're together, I really like it that way."
He turned so they were laying on their sides, facing each other. "Do you? I suppose I must wear it free for you then, when we aren't running around fighting."
Stroking a hand against his stubbled cheek, she smiled to realize she now knew what that scratchiness felt like against her thighs.
"What are you thinking about, Marian?"
"Can't read my face this time?" She asked with a quick grin.
He smiled back. "I suppose not. Was it something good? It did look to be something you enjoyed thinking about."
"I was thinking about this," she scratched at his cheek, "and how that feels against my bare skin."
"Ah." His smile grew wider. "Definitely a good thought, for me too. My face likes your bare skin very much."
She propped her head against her hand, memorizing what he looked like laying there beside her. "So...any regrets about this, or none at all?"
He mirrored her position, resting his head in his hand and studying her expression. "No regrets for me, Marian. I hope you are able to say the same."
She scooted closer so she could press a kiss to his lips. "I will never regret this. Never." Her smile turned teasing. "Are you hopelessly in love with me yet, or are my novice charms not impressive enough to sway you?"
His smile was warm, his eyes soft. "I am hopefully in love with you, and your charms are more than enough to bring me to my knees and then keep me there forever."
She pushed him onto his back, nestled her head against his shoulder and looked up at him, her stomach flipping with excitement at his words. "I don't know how it happened so fast, but somehow I managed to fall completely and utterly in love with you. Do you think that actually happens in real life?"
He laughed. "Just what do you suppose all this is?" He lifted his free arm and waved it around.
She pretended to consider, an impish smile on her lips. "Another one of my too-perfect dreams?"
He rolled, reversing their positions and leaning over her. "Do you need me to pinch you again, or should I put you over my knee and spank your tempting little bum instead?"
She laughed and shook her head. "I don't think so, Messere. I don't have any fantasies of being spanked, thank you very much. The only flaying I like is the kind that comes from your tongue."
"Liked that, did you?" He slid his fingers into her warm folds, lightly stroking her, then put his fingers in his mouth, slowly and deliberately sucking them clean, smirking at her fiery blush. "Mmmhhh, Marian Hawke with an Anders aftertaste, my favorite vintage. I'm going to be spending a lot of time between your thighs if I'm to drink my fill, I've not nearly drunk enough yet."
She sat up before he could pin her down and drug her mind again, giving him a mock glare. "No! It's time for my lesson in 'how to suck the healer's cock to his complete satisfaction', followed by 'how to ride the healer so well it would make an Antivan whore jealous.'"
Anders laughed and reached for her, kissing her gently. "I knew you would be my star pupil, sweetheart. I still need to fuck you at least once or twice more, and then I intend to make love to you very slowly and thoroughly. But we had best get started if we're going to complete those lessons before the others come looking for us."
Marian pushed him to his back and looked down his body eagerly, grinning. "Deal."
Hours later, Marian laid in Anders arms, pleasantly sore and still floating in blissful euphoria from her last orgasm, which he had brought her to using nothing but his magic. That had been quite the revelation, and experience.
"Anders?" She was beginning to feel rather sleepy, both from their exertions, but also from his soothing touch, where he kept running his fingers through her hair.
"Yes, love?"
"Were you really angry about my teasing when we first came to this room?"
He shifted slightly under her, moving her to a more comfortable hold so he could see her face. "A bit. Less anger and more frustration, I would say, and also pain from all your cock-teasing."
She kissed his chest. "I am sorry, I didn't know I was causing you pain or I would have offered to kiss it and make it better."
"Hmm." He gave a quiet laugh. "I didn't realize you wanted me to throw you down and fuck your brains out, or I would have certainly been happy to fulfill that need for you."
She squinted up at him, a smile still curling her lips. "That's alright, I'm fairly certain I am completely brain-free now, after all your incomparable efforts today. Do you think I'll be able to walk normally tomorrow, or should we make our excuses to Fenris and Varric?"
"Do you want to be able to walk normally tomorrow?" He held up a hand with a faint green glow.
She smirked and kissed his chest again. "You can heal me with your lips too, or your tongue. We had better make sure nobody else finds out about that, I'm not sharing that part of you with others, it's all mine."
"You're a possessive little thing, Marian." He gave her a lazy smile.
"As though you aren't?" she asked, rolling her eyes at him.
He shrugged. "I am possessive of you, and I do have a jealous side as well, but you are too loyal and committed a person for me to have any concerns. I hope you know that the same is true for me, I will never stray from you nor give you cause for jealousy."
"Wait, what are you and what am I? Are we still claiming we are only friends? Our companions will know we are lovers now, so do we just call ourselves that?"
Anders' eyes wandered across her face with a musing expression. "Do you ever want to marry?"
She blinked, not having thought of it since Cullen mentioned it, and hurriedly put him out of her mind. "Um, I don't know. Why, do you want to make a reservation with me for the future?"
He grinned at her. "A reservation? What, like for your dance card at a ball? I was thinking more along the lines of a proposal, but only if you are interested in marriage. I know many don't feel a need for it."
She tilted her head, considering. "How do you do, this is my husband, Anders. He's a brilliant healer and an even more brilliant lover." She shrugged, seeking his eyes again and smiling at the warmth she saw there. "It has a very nice sound to it, and I don't dislike the idea of marriage. Although, I'm afraid I am still not interested in having magical offspring, I would likely give birth to another version of Carver, and it would be sad if my own child hated me."
He twirled a longer lock of her hair around his pinky finger. "I don't think your brother hates you, sweetheart. He just isn't comfortable expressing any of the softer emotions, but if you need him to slaughter someone, he will definitely perform that service for you, with alacrity."
"I think Carver would be a very different person if he had magic too. When he was little, I almost wished he did, he was so jealous of Bethany, and I suppose of me too. We spent so much more of our time with Father, learning spells and how to control our gifts, and Carver missed out on most of that." Marian turned more toward Anders, looking pensive. "I hope one day, Carver and I will be more kind and loving toward one another, as I feel siblings ought to be. But it will likely be up to me to extend any kind of olive branch in the future."
Anders lifted her chin and kissed her sweetly. "You are a very thoughtful and loving person, Marian, and Carver is lucky to have you for a sister, whether he acknowledges it or not."
Her blue eyes smiled up at him. "Thanks, love, that means a lot to me, coming from you."
His eyes changed from warm to naughty, matching his smirk. "Coming from me? Yes, you do come from me, and you're going to come from me a whole lot more, every day if we can manage it."
She smirked back. "I suppose I can fit you in if I really try. You were at the top of my To Do list today."
Anders dove for her ribs, hitting her most ticklish spots with unerring accuracy, grinning at her peals of laughter, one of his favorite sounds in the world.
"No! Anders! Stop, please! I'll get you back for this, I swear!
Fenris frowned, wincing at the shrill noise coming through the door they were standing in front of. "I told you they were fine, this was a wasted errand."
Varric started back down the corridor to where they were camped. "I know, I know, I just needed to make sure." He smirked. "Plus, now we know Hawke is extremely ticklish and that's valuable information, well worth the walk here."
Fenris tilted his head and shrugged. "If you say so."