So this chapter is a bit different than I intended at first. I realized that this unintentionally kind of follows the structure of Heart and Soul in that everyone is experiencing this whole thing differently. Arthur is stuck in the middle of a Disney movie (literally, lmao,) but the rest of the castle, especially Gwen and Merlin, are living out their own version of Knives Out (2019) lol. There's…a lot of heavy emotions on this chapter- things I truly believe the show should have expanded on *side eye* but things will be lighthearted again, I promise.

Gingeraffalane observed that things are going bad to worse lmao. Well, this is...an absolute roller-coaster beyond worse hahahaha.

FYI, Lord Collins is not very bright, as you'll see. I can't flesh him out that much because this chapter is already like 10k words but in fact, you can replace him with Pride and Prejudice's Mr. Collins ( that was intentional, by the way,) quite easily and he'd be the same character lmao.

This chapter is pretty Merlin centric. The quotes right below can be applied to him, as I've always loved to explore how he'd truly fare in court with his heart on his sleeve and his propensity for running his mouth. In a way, Merlin can only truly stand as a part of government with Arthur and Gwen by his side but that doesn't make him any less indispensable. A big inspiration for this tension comes from the brilliant billiard scene in Spencer (2021) (the next part to this will delve eleven deeper into this,)

This chapter is full of BAMF! Merlin by the way! BAMF! Gwen will make an appearance too in later chapters .

When These Prodigies, Do So Conjointly Meet.

"There is one fairly good reason for fighting - and that is, if the other man starts it. You see, wars are a great wickedness, perhaps the greatest wickedness of a wicked species. They are so wicked that they must not be allowed. When you can be perfectly certain that the other man started them, then is the time when you might have a sort of duty to stop them. "

― T.H. White, The Once and Future King.

.

"He felt in his heart cruelty and cowardice, the things which made him brave and kind."

― T.H. White, The Once and Future King.

When Merlin entered their Majesties chambers, he did so with the same expression he wore when Geoffrey tried to explain the kingdom's foreign economics. Absolute bemusement.

"Did you know that Arthur has something scheduled right now?" he told Gwen as he sat on a chair near the fire. "Who knew George was even capable of making a mistake? Should we be wary of pigs flying?"

Gwen laughed lightly from her place by Arthur's desk. She hummed at all the right places when Merlin continued prattling about George and his 'scary, inhuman proficiency,' but her eyes scanned the pages of 'A History of Magical Transformation,' with interest. She straightened up, a bit abruptly, when George came in with lunch and Merlin all but snapped his mouth shut and tried to seem engrossed with a butterfly that fluttered outside the window.

"Your majesty," George said, glancing at Merlin briefly with a scowl that let it known he'd heard at least part of Merlin's rant. "I've brought lunch, as requested."

And he let down his tray on the table and spun on his heel to face Camelot's Court Sorcerer with his chin raised. "I wouldn't be speaking so, My Lord, if I, even with magic, had been unable to fulfill the King's request yesterday. He was most displeased to learn My Lord Merlin had left the armoury a mess."

Merlin's mouth hung open and Gwen had to repress a snort when George bowed deeply and hurried away, leaving Merlin still gaping where he sat.

"You deserved that, Merlin." Gwen told him airily when Merlin turned to her with wide eyes, "I wouldn't accept a drink from George for the next two days if I were you, just to be safe."

Merlin smirked at her and that's all it took for them to break out in delighted laughter, and if anyone would have happened to walk by they would have thought the Queen and The Emrys had been cursed with a laughing spell.

"Should we wait for the prat, then?" Merlin asked her after he'd dried his tears. "He shouldn't be long, should he?"

Gwen still chuckled a bit but shook her head, "I don't think he should be. Though it surprises me he'd have something scheduled precisely now, I suppose that Lord Collins' could have asked him for an audience again. He's set on having the northern borders for himself."

Merlin had bounced nearer, chewing on a piece of cheese, and read over her shoulder. "What is this?" He asked, craning his neck with interest, "Oh, is this the second volume of A History of Magical Transformation? I thought Uther had it burnt! What is it doing here?"

Gwen was seconds away from facepalming. Of course Arthur had managed to ask for the second volume. She scrunched her nose slightly, but Merlin had his eyes an inch away from the book so he didn't see her.

"Well..."

The Queen thought quickly. Although she had planned to broach the subject gently it was not really her place to explain what she only suspected to Merlin, especially without Arthur present. But how, by the gods, was she supposed to even say it with a straight face? That Arthur was hellbent on proving an owlet evil because he felt, like a spoiled child, that he was no longer Merlin's priority?

"Arthur was asked by...um, by Lord Mathis, about the-" she thought back on the last thing she'd read. "- about the lifespan of toads when they've been transfigured into hawks."

"Really?" Merlin said, truly surprised. "How on earth would the prat know that? why didn't he ask me?"

Gwen shrugged helplessly and when Merlin didn't turn back to the book she thought a half-truth would be best. "We've seen how busy you've been lately, Merlin. And, well," and now, she thought, cringing internally, the lie. "...Arthur wanted to try and find the answer himself. After all, it only came up in conversation once. I'm sure Lord Mathis only asked it out of curiosity. It is hardly a matter of state."

Merlin hummed distractedly. "Have I really been that busy?" He asked suddenly.

And Gwen dived for a tried and true tactic, raising an eyebrow slightly and smiling widely. "Yes. But never as busy as Lord Collins. He's been asking for an audience with us every day of the week. He really is set on winning those borders."

Merlin let out a long whistle. "He'll never have them, though." he affirmed, and left Gwen's side to sit on the table. He snapped his fingers and a handful of grapes fled the plate and landed on his palm. "Though I must say he's incredibly persistent."

"Yes, he is." Gwen agreed, leaving the desk behind to sit beside her oldest friend. She took a delicate bite of her apple. "perhaps," she added slowly, "even too persistent."

Merlin didn't need her to repeat it. He merely winked. "I'll keep an eye on him."

"I know you will. But don't transform him into a lizard if he does anything wrong, please. We've had enough trouble already with what happened to Mithian's Court Sorcerer last spring."

Merlin blushed fiercely and stared at the table. "Erm, yes. Sorry about that."

"Oh, Merlin. You know we don't mind." Gwen said and reached over the table to squeeze her oldest friend's hand lovingly. "And between us, Arthur was so proud he brought it up at least three times when we met up with King Lot afterwards."

The corner of Merlin's mouth raised minutely but Gwen knew him well enough to know his eyes shone with happiness. "Did he, really?"

"Of course he did! Speaking of him..." The Queen glanced briefly at the door but it did not open even though the hour meant for lunch was ending, not even with a servant carrying a note.

Merlin had followed her eyes, and though he was just as disappointed, he stood up and stretched.

"Maybe he's waiting for us as the Round Table." Merlin told her soothingly and offered his hand to help her rise.

"He'll be truly grumpy if he hasn't eaten." Gwen observed with a sigh, looking at the glazed drumsticks Mary had personally cooked . "Poor Arthur. That won't help his mood any."

"Don't worry, Gwen." Merlin said, leaning over with a conspirational look in his eye, "I have plenty of experience in that area. One might even say I am an expert at speaking grumpy-prat, that foreign dialect only truly spoken by the whiniest of bears- ouch!"

Gwen had punched him lightly in the arm but she couldn't quite hide her smile. "It's a wonder Uther didn't cut out your tongue." She teased, watching with amusement as Merlin rubbed his arm.

"Oh, please." Merlin said with a smirk, and raised an eyebrow. "Arthur wouldn't have let him, not when I practically recited his every speech for him after council meetings."

And as they walked towards the council chambers, Gwen was glad Merlin had not seen the rest of the titles Arthur had left on his desk.

...

It was only after everyone had arrived at the Round Table and taken their respective places that Gwen began to truly feel the first pang of worry. She stole a glance at Merlin, whom she knew felt the empty chair between them just as acutely but who had began reading a volume he'd pulled out of thin air, (quite literally,) and seemed absolutely worry-free.

"Soooo..."Gwaine said awkwardly after a minute of silence had elapsed, "should we wait for the princess or...?"

"I'll send for him," Gwen said and beckoned a servant forward. "Ellie, please find Lord Collins, I think Arthur is probably with him. Tell him Arthur's presence is required here for a Table meeting."

Ellie curtsied and left. Gwaine wasted no time in propping his feet on the table and Percival began carving away at a wooden figurine. Gaius was speaking with Geoffrey by the table's other side, and Elyan was drifting off into sleep beside her. Although Merlin seemed lost in his book, Gwen caught him glancing at the double doors every few seconds and when the Queen straightened enough to look beyond her brother she saw that Lancelot and Leon were both drumming their fingers over the table's smooth surface with what she could only imagine was nervousness.

She looked at Merlin once more and saw, with surprise, that the slightest hint of unease shone in Merlin's eyes.

"Merl-" she began, but the doors opened loudly and Lord Collins strode in, clutching a piece of parchment tightly in his right hand.

"What is this I hear?" Lord Collins exclaimed, stopping just long enough to bow at Guinevere before surging forwards. "I was asked about the King but he isn't with me. I sent that serving girl to Lord Mathis too but he wasn't there and I can see by your faces you don't know where he is either." He suddenly wore a distraught expression that would have put a Court Jester to shame. "Have we-have we lost the King?"

As if by magic, the Round Table turned towards him as one.

"Careful," Leon barked, massaging his brow. "We have said not such thing."

Gwen saw by the corner of her eye that Merlin's book disappeared into thin air and the warlock leaned forward, both hands interlaced. He had his eyes trained on Lord Collins so intensely it was a wonder the Lord hadn't turned into a garden plant already.

"Kindly step into the corridor, Lord Collins." Gwen asked him, unwilling to give up any more information. "We'll inform you of any developments."

Lord Collins was not a tall man. In fact, he was even a bit shorter than Guinevere, but when he walked forwards, almost exuding triumph, he did so with the confidence of a giant.

"Of course, of course! But before I do so, My Lady, I must ask the tiniest favor of you. During our last meeting King Arthur had graciously granted me the land at the border of my state- he was meant to sign it today, you see, but if he is not here...I must leave in the morning, My Lady. Would you be so kind as to sign it in his stead?"

Gwen didn't need to look at everyone's faces to know each of them wore a different variation of a raised eyebrow. She had to consciously keep her own face from scrunching up and simultaneously kick Merlin's foot under the table so he stopped glaring at Collins as if he would set the lord on fire.

"Lord Collins," Guinevere said finally, with a truly heroic smile. "I would love to help you. Now, however, is not the time-perhaps once Arthur is available we can..."

"But, My Lady," Lord Collins insisted still, "The King was quite adamant that I should get to work right away-the villages near the border..."

And Gwen fought the urge to sigh when Merlin rolled his eyes so strongly she could see the white of them for a split of second, even from her peripheral gaze. She thought of shushing him but already knew it was too late.

"I doubt that," Merlin deadpanned not a moment later, rolling his eyes again. "Arthur would never give the land away. It is owned by Lady Lydia and she's been doing great work with the villagers."

Lord Collins turned white a sheet before he composed himself. He turned his back to Merlin and unrolled the parchment in front of Guinevere, ignoring the rest of the knights' glares on his back.

"Surely," he said, plastering a wan smile on his face. "you cannot take this peasa-ehem, Lord Merlin's word over mine, can you, My Lady?"

Although she did not speak, Gwen's steady glare was answer enough. Lord Collins went from white to red with alarming quickness.

"Are you implying I am lying, Lord Merlin?!" He said, turning his head to stare accusingly at Albion's Court Sorcerer, who glared steadily back. "Me?! Thread carefully. Remember I have Queen Annis' ear as I am Lord Pelius' cousin."

Merlin shrugged, and managed to make a shrug unmistakably insolent. "If you are not lying, then why worry about the words of a fool, my Lord? I know that's what you think of me and believe me," he smiled but his eyes were those of a bird of prey, "the sentiment is mutual."

Gwaine had to cover his sudden laugh with a cough but Lord Collins had doubtlessly heard and he seemed to expand with rage.

"Preposterous!" He shouted, "Me, a liar? Absolutely preposterous! I cannot believe this!"

"It shouldn't be too hard, giving your history," Gwaine muttered between his teeth and Merlin's small snort when he heard had Lord Collins all but choking on air.

"You insolent-!" And he jumped a little when he found that Sir Elyan and his fists were much closer than he realized, "I swear my cousin will have things to say about this...!"

"That is enough, Lord Collins." Gwen warned him, waving her hand in light dismissal.

Lord Collins stood for a moment longer, stuttering and blushing fiercely, before he found enough courage to continue talking.

"But My Lady!" He insisted, "I have never been dismissed so unthinkingly! This cannot be! Surely you must remember just how valuable my friendship is to the crown and what a-"he licked his lips, "-mistake it would be to lose it."

Elyan sprang up from his seat and yet it was Merlin who let out a low chuckle from where he still sat by Guinevere's side.

"Are you threatening my Queen in my presence?" Merlin asked almost pleasantly, nailing his gaze on Lord Collin's nervous, squinting eyes. "If I ever needed proof of your foolishness, my Lord, I have just been given plenty."

Perhaps it was the full ten seconds it took for Lord Collins to understand what Merlin implied, but the curve of his small mouth transformed into a rage-full grimace.

"I think I might recommend a new Court Sorcerer if the King comes back." Lord Collins spat out savagely,"Isn't it your job to keep the King safe from all threats? You haven't been doing so well, have you? You've lost him. Perhaps even willingly. Oh, yes. King Arthur has often told me about how, in his absence, your power would only equal Lady Guinevere's in the whole of the realm."

Every trace of sardonic mirth fled Merlin's face instantly. (1)

The Round Table, often full of laughter and loving friendship, became so silent only Lord Collins' heaving breaths were heard. Then Gwaine put a hand to his sword but it was Guinevere who reacted first, drawing herself to her full height.

"Lord Collins!" She roared, angrier than even Elyan had ever seen her. "You forget yourself!"

Lord Collins seemed to shrink before them all. Before he could do something else than take a step back Merlin stood up, as fast as a whip, and marched around the Round Table.

The lord looked helplessly around but no one moved. Gwaine's hand was still on his sword and Elyan had risen to stand beside his sister. Behind him, he found that Sirs Leon and Lancelot had stood up as well and Sir Percival had positioned himself directly behind him, stopping him from even glancing at the double doors.

Almost unbearably slow, Merlin stalked closer until his nose was inches away from Lord Collins' eyes.

"He's not lost." The Emrys said, and his voice was as biting as winter wind. "I would be able to tell if he was not here. But are you truly accusing me of disloyalty, Lord Collins? Firstly, let me assure you: I don't need a King's power, as you doubtlessly know." his eyes flashed, briefly, whether with anger or magic, no one ever knew, but Lord Collins cowered instantly, "You would do well in keeping your accusations true and far from such an insult. And if you ever dare to put words in my King's mouth again you'll truly be walking away from Camelot with no lands at all. I'll see to it personally. So, I say to you, too: thread carefully. And unlike you, I am not partial to empty threats."

Merlin's eyes flashed molten gold and Lord Collins let out a very strident scream when the double doors were flung open with a bang.

"Now," Merlin said with evident disgust, gesturing with his head, "I suggest you obey Queen Guinevere's first request and leave this room." The parchment he'd left on the table suddenly flew at him and struck him in the face, but not as much as Merlin's scathing demand, "And take your forgery with you!"

Lord Collins didn't need to be told twice. He rolled his parchment and scurried off, visibly shaking when he had to walk past Percival.

"Are you alright, Merlin?" Gwen asked the moment Lord Collins closed the door behind him, walking forward to put a hand over her friend's. "What Lord Collins said..."

Merlin's face could have been set in stone but it softened the slightest bit as he answered, "I'm fine. Who cares what he thinks?"

But then he leaned both hands on the table like Arthur often did when distraught and Gwen was not too convinced. Before she could continue, however, Gwaine let out a long, low whistle.

"That was a bit dramatic, mate." He said, and put his feet firmly on the table again. "I could say I am surprised but that would be a lie."

"I meant it." Merlin assured him, still leaning over the table with the same, strenuous gait he had when he held a shielding spell for long. "They can call for my head if they want, see if I care. I know he's somewhere close, believe me, I wouldn't be standing here if he wasn't. Gwen, what do you think? Did Arthur say anything else to you before he left?"

Instantly, all eyes were on her, but Gwen still looked at her oldest friend, trying her best to asses Merlin's expression through the mask of impassive calm that had descended over it.

Merlin's shuttered gaze never lightened, and Gwen sighed before she spoke. "Now that I think about it, I actually suggested that a reading he …erm, needed...might be found in your chambers, Merlin."

She was quite certain her husband would not be stupid enough to go wandering into his best friend's chambers alone, where dangerous magic hummed in the very air, and yet she thought she should mention it, if only to cover all possibilities.

Merlin seemed to be thinking roughly the same thing, because his eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up. "My chambers?"

Gwen tapped her chin. Beyond Arthur somehow breaking his leg while he kicked a tree in anger, she couldn't think of any other theories as to where he was. "I suppose, " she added unconvincingly, "he could have also gone to our favorite spot in the garden, by the white rose bush. I'll go look for him there. You should take a look in your chambers, Merlin. I'll tell the guards to check the perimeter of the castle."

"I'll go check the tavern." Gwaine offered gleefully, swinging his legs off the table. The rest of the knights were soon dividing themselves into different tasks and Gwen listened half-heartedly, keeping her eyes on Merlin's pensive face and wishing that she had time to truly talk to him. But Merlin was too lost in thought to notice her and he left soon after.

Guinevere watched him leave with a small frown.

...

Merlin had thought Gwen was being unreasonable when she'd mentioned his chambers but all traces of doubt fled his heart when he saw his door was slightly ajar. Only the royal couple, Gaius, and the Round Table knights could go in without activating the spell he'd set for intruders so by the time he'd stumbled into his tower his heart was beating madly in his chest.

And his heart fell to his feet when he saw the corner by the window had been left as if after a hurricane. Bottles were thrown about, vials were broken on the windowsill, and his spell-caster drawer had been opened by someone who'd obviously been in a hurry.

His first thought was that someone had forced their way in, perhaps in search of a spell with the power of Emrys behind it. His blood ran cold when he thought of the damage a super-speed spell could do in the wrong hands and cursed his stupidity. But then, he thought, stepping closer softly, carefully observing the scene, why hadn't Archimedes warned him? He'd been sitting on his perch the last time he'd seen him.

"Archimedes?" Merlin called softly, half-expecting the owlet to start chirping form a darkened corner of the room. "Archimedes, are you here?"

Only oppressive silence answered him and in the cold wake of it Merlin had another terrible thought. How on earth had the invader tricked the alarm?

He was soon answered and the way his heart hammered with the thought almost brought him to his knees. If Arthur had been near his chambers...then the intruder could have taken him and used him to trick the spell.

His vision wavered and he had to put a steadying hand on the table to stop himself from doubling over.

"That's just a theory," he reminded himself, shaking his head. "Just a theory."

But what else could have happened? The thought of Arthur somehow using magic himself was laughable. He looked around, a bit desperately. The window was open. That was odd. Hadn't he closed it?

The window closed gently with a flash of his eyes but Merlin didn't see it, he was already whirling in place and diving into his spell-caster drawer, grabbing at the scraps of paper with trembling fingers. What could have been used, if any? Could there be an invisible assassin walking around at that very moment? How could he have been such an idiot?!

But wouldn't Arthur, the finest fighter in the realm, be able to fend off an intruder? Unless they had magic, which Merlin had not sensed anywhere near the castle, Arthur could very well defend himself.

Unless...The thought left him cold all over. What if it hadn't been an outsider at all? What if Arthur had innocently guided say, Lord Collins, into his chambers for some reason... and been betrayed? How many of the lords were proven to be trustworthy, after all?

But Arthur isn't far, he reminded himself and took a concious breath when he made the fireplace roar to life with the force of his emotions. He's here, somewhere.

That was the only thing that kept him from marching down the hall in a fury and raining thunder on everyone he suspected, the thought of Arthur trapped somewhere in the castle, perhaps unable to escape.

His nails dug into his palm and he didn't notice until they drew blood. He'd have to act carefully, he realized slowly, even around Gwen. The last thing she needed was to fear Arthur was trapped deep in the catacombs or something just as horrible when she needed to keep the lords in line.

Gods, he fought with the collar of his cloak, loosening it with numb fingers, he would be sick.

Could he get to Arthur right then? He swallowed twice as he thought on it. Maybe, but it was as easy as finding a way out a labyrinth while blindfolded. Arthur's presence shone like the sun around him and yet what fool can walk confidently towards the sun's exact spot?

He wouldn't lose anything for trying, would he? And so he did exactly that, bringing a fisted hand to his heart and whispering in the words of the Old Religion, hoping beyond hope that something, anything would arise, the quietest whisper of direction.

But nothing did. Arthur's presence was still there, nestled inside and beyond him, and yet he could not tell if his King was north or south from where he stood, if he was even above the ground, tied to a tree.

When he left his chambers and sat down on his steps, Merlin felt a thousand years older. And if, as he pressed his hands over his eyes, a few tears escaped him, he promised himself he would not-could not- cry again until Arthur was found.

...

When he entered the council chambers again, he did so slowly, and though The Queen soon arched an eyebrow at him he somehow managed to smile. Gwen looked as if she'd question him but before she could the knights marched in.

"He's not in the training grounds," Leon reported, walking a bit too rapidly. Everyone met his eyes with equally distraught faces.

"He's not in the lower town either," said Elyan after a pause.

"Nor the tavern drowning his kingly sorrows," Gwaine said, oddly serious.

Guinevere put a hand under her chin. "The guards I sent have reported he's not around the castle and he's not in the garden."

All eyes turned to Merlin. Albion's Court Sorcerer seemed to be barely there, almost as if he were sleepwalking.

"Merlin?" Guinevere prompted him quietly, walking over to put a hand on his arm.

Merlin took a deep breath. "Sorry! I was just thinking that I might need to do a, um, a very lengthy spell. It will take me a couple of hours."

"Hours?" Guinevere repeated, scrutinizing his face, "Truly?"

"Yes," Merlin lied easily, knowing he'd need those hours to try and expand his reach of Arthur's presence. "Maybe you can make Lord Collins stay? After what he just tried I want to keep an eye on him."

"Sure," Gwen answered and reached over with the palm of her hand to turn Merlin's eyes towards her. She hadn't missed the hollow edge to his gaze. "Merlin...if you need to talk..."

Merlin didn't answer immediately but drew her into a hug instead. "I'll tell you." He whispered above her, "Promise. But now we need to find ourselves a prat, don't we?"

Guinevere was not wholly convinced but let him go reluctantly, and Merlin shrugged off Lancelot's fingers on the small of his back and Gwaine's hand on his shoulder before leaving, careful to not make eye contact with Gaius.

"He's alright, though, isn't he?" Gwen called after him when he was at the door. "Arthur?"

Merlin didn't turn when he answered her, and kept his voice outstandingly cheerful. "Don't worry. I would know."

And thus the only thing he did for the rest of the day, well beyond sundown and by the stars glowing softness, was to reach over and tug, painfully enough to draw tears, at his and Arthur's connection, in the same way a rider drew back his stallion by the reins. He became numb to it and the more time it passed the more desperately he grabbed at it, carefully following any and all instinctual steps.

At first his makeshift spell had drawn him to the training grounds and he spent hours trudging around them, drawing circles with his foot and muttering unintelligibly. But as the night drew late and cold the tug of his soul bid him to stand below Gwen and Arthur's courtyard window, the very same one he'd seen jugglers from once, when Arthur was still a prince.

He stopped, drawing his cloak closer to shield his face against the nighttime air. There was something there, in the spot his stood, almost like a familiar heartbeat, that drew him inevitably forwards and he found himself standing at a spot below Gwen and Arthur's windowsill, staring intently into the grass as if it could speak.

He knew it, instantly, that this was the spot and there were no others and if Arthur was not there then he had absolutely no other leads and then-

His heart seemed to fail him.

Not now, he told himself severely, digging his nails into his trousers. Not now.

He fixed his eyes on the swaying blades of grass. Could it be that Arthur was underneath him, buried alive? The thought made his throat seize. Perhaps, he amended, if only to stop himself from hyperventilating, Arthur had been struck by a concealment spell and was invisible to the eye? If he forced his way underground with magic, could Arthur be harmed?

And that's how Merlin, The Emrys, found himself digging carefully into the earth like a mere farmer, hoping beyond all hope that his hands would somehow recognize Arthur, even if he was invisible or perhaps even shielded. And if he was truly honest with himself, honest to the point of absolute horror, Arthur's presence was more tenuous than it had been just hours ago. What that meant, he never wanted to know.

But hours later, though his nails were broken and his fingertips raw and bloody from digging, there was still nothing, and Merlin felt, for the first time since it had all started, as if he would truly die from sorrow.

He stared at his hands uncomprehendingly for what could have been hours or mere seconds, he never knew. Only the sound of hoofs over cobblestones struck him from his numbness and when he turned his gaze towards the courtyard he saw a carriage leaving the citadel and, what was more, the crest it wore proudly.

The next second a fury so violent had seized him that he all but flew towards the courtyard like a stalking animal, caring so little of anything but his fear-fueled anger that he did not even hear the snarl that tore from his lips when he stood before the trotting carriage and who was doubtlessly inside it.

Did he-they- really think they could fool him?

And then, with a wrath that he often felt but seldom showed , The Emrys raised his arm in a cutting arch, watching with unbridled satisfaction as ice rose from the stone and pierced the carriage cleanly through, lifting it inches from the cobblestones.

A horrified scream resounded from inside and the carriage-driver all but jumped away, begging for mercy.

Merlin didn't spare him a glance.

Soon enough Lord Collins had climbed down, shaking like a leaf and still somehow finding it in him to be angry. He spat on the floor before yelling hoarsely, as if the horses would be scandalized. "You-you-you could have killed me!"

"I could have." Merlin agreed remorselessly. "And yet I haven't. Don't make me regret my decision, Lord Collins."

"You dare-! You cannot keep me here against my will! This is my carriage! I can do with it what I like!"

Merlin stepped closer and he did so calmly, like a beast accustomed to the hunting ground. In the moonlight, his eyes shone gold almost eerily and Lord Collins couldn't help but take a step back. "I don't think so. As you were kind enough to point out today, in Arthur's absence I do have more sway over Camelot. And I've just decided that you are henceforth banned from using any of the castle's carriages."

And with a firm flicker of The Emrys' wrist the carriage tore itself apart as if an animal had mauled it. Lord Collins screamed, horrified, but Merlin did not stop until the very crest had been crushed by an invisible hand.

"What now, Lord Collins? Shall you go inside the castle yourself or will I have to make you?"

Lord Collins spluttered and Merlin was dimly surprised when he saw he was crying. If Collins thought that would move him to pity, then he was truly an idiot.

"Go on." Merlin repeated, and when he took a step forwards Lord Collins shrieked and all but fell on his backside. "There's a storm coming."

Lord Collins stared at him uncomprehendingly but Merlin didn't spare him a second glance. Instead, he gestured at the heavens and mere seconds later the wind picked up with a frightening howl and the rain began falling, so strongly that it was almost hail.

"You see," Merlin hissed at him, not bothering to wipe the raindrops away from his eyes. "No one will be able to leave. Not tonight."

When he stalked forwards, taking Collins by the forearm with enough force to bruise him, Merlin barely registered that most of the castle's windows had been lit with candles at the commotion and it was only after Lord Collins had been escorted to his chambers by the guards that he saw Gwaine and Lancelot run towards him, even though they had been walking down the hallway for as long as he'd been standing there.

"Mate," Gwaine said once he'd reached Merlin, shrugging off his red cloak at once, "you're soaked through."

"Was that Lord Collins?" Lancelot said instead, staring disbelievingly at the corridor he'd disappeared into. "Was he...?"

"Leaving?" Merlin supplied emotionlessly, patting Gwaine's arm to stop him from fretting any longer. "Yes. Now he's not. And I've placed a tracking spell on him."

He was cut short when Gwaine began dragging his cloak over Merlin's short hair like a towel.

"I suppose you still haven't found the princess, then?" Gwaine commented softly as he started to dry Merlin's shoulders. Merlin had only seen his lively eyes be so serious once, during a gruesome battle. "How are you doing, mate?"

Merlin wished he could answer him but he knew if he opened his mouth he'd only scream out his horror so instead he nodded and hoped that was enough. He still saw the concerned look Gwaine exchanged with Lancelot and slammed his eyes shut to stop his shoulders from heaving.

"Gwen sent us to fetch you," Lancelot informed him softly, "she waits for you in her chambers."

Merlin tried to glare at his friend through the red-Camelot fabric but the deep sadness that had taken over his every thought had him looking at his boots instead. "Why?"

Lancelot didn't answer and The Emrys didn't need him to. They walked in silence towards the royal chambers, the ones Merlin had just left in the highest of spirits. Had it been only that morning when everything seemed to be so beyond alright? How could the world had torn itself apart so easily, in less than a day?

Gwaine hugged him goodbye and so did Lancelot but Merlin felt it all happen numbly, almost as if he'd journeyed outside of his own body. He didn't bother to knock.

When he entered, Gwen was sitting on Arthur's chair by the fire. Her beautiful face was creased with worry and exhaustion and yet her eyes lightened somewhat the moment she saw him.

"Merlin!" She said, and beckoned him forwards, "Come sit with me. Are you- are you alright? Have you finished the spell? Any news?"

"Lord Collins tried to leave." Merlin informed her tonelessly, taking a step towards the fire but going to further. "I stopped him. He will be kept in his chambers from now on."

"I know." Gwen said, and unfolded a towel she had by her side, rising from her seat to press the soft fabric against her dearest friend's face, like a mother would. "You'll catch a cold, Merlin."

Merlin shrugged. Why would it matter? He thought to himself viciously, knowing quite well he could never voice those thoughts. Why would anything matter?

"How do you know?" He asked instead.

"I saw it all through the window." Gwen said calmly. She paused and then added, "and so did the majority of the court, I believe." For a moment it looked like she wanted to say more but thought better of it.

Merlin was surprised at the surge of emotion that brought him. "Good," he muttered savagely, "let it be a warning, then."

"A warning?" Gwen whispered questioningly, wiping away the droplets on his brow. "What do you mean?"

Merlin didn't answer her. Instead he snapped his fingers and his spell-caster drawer appeared by his side. To her credit, Gwen didn't even flinch.

"I did the spell and I- I think..." Merlin said, momentarily wracking his brain for something that was plausible enough without being the full truth. "I think Arthur might have been a victim of a spell."

Gwen raised her gaze sharply. Her hands trembled. "a spell?!"

"I think what's left of his...his birth magic." Merlin continued, ignoring the voice in his head that called him a filthy liar. "Might have helped him...cast a spell. I found my spell-drawer wide open Gwen. He- he may be invisible right now, or-or in a deep sleep somewhere in the gardens. I don't know. What I do know is that he is here and he's- he's alright." Liar! "And-and we just have to find him. I need you to help me go through these spells with me."

Gwen's face had lost its worry as he spoke and Merlin hated himself when she smiled at him sunnily, though her eyes were still pinched with thought. "Of course, old friend." She hugged him lovingly and Merlin fought the urge to sob on her shoulder, "This is shaping to be more and more like an old adventure, huh?"

The Emrys managed to twist his lips upwards but Gwen was already reading through the spells and so she did not see his eyes fill with unshed tears.

"Yes," Merlin said at last, "yes it is. And then we can tease Arthur about it for days. Maybe he's managed to trap himself in a corridor closer with a mountain of strawberry tarts..."

And so they sat down, not as Queen and Court Sorcerer, but as friends, and sorted calmly through the spells- though Merlin did so distractedly and Gwen quite methodically until, right before dawn, she fell asleep with her head on Arthur's desk. Merlin walked quietly from his spot by the table and covered her with a blanket, as gently as he would have done with his own sister.

Only then, out in the corridor to guard Gwen's sleep, did he let himself heave into his closed fist, and drag down both hands over his eyes, and all but hyperventilate in abject terror. He could not call Kilgarrah, he knew, as the dragons were far away in the white mountains. He could not confide in Gaius, as his dear heart might not be able to take the news. And he could not weep, for if he wept he would break completely...and whose arm could Gwen use to stand, then?

"This stopped being funny a while ago, you dollop-head." He muttered into his hands, trying and failing to stop them from shaking, "Where are you?"

He used his anger to further his resolve. Together with the rising sun, Merlin straightened up in the corridor outside his King and Queen's chambers and schooled his features into neutrality. When Gwen exited her chambers after a light sleep, just four hours later, Merlin was already waiting for her with mulled wine and the slightest ghost of a soothing expression on his face.

"I'll go over the spells later," Merlin told her as they walked together through an awakening castle, "Now, I think, we must gather all the council members together. I have a few...questions I want to ask them."

He'd heard Arthur refer to 'extracting information' as 'questioning' enough times to not feel guilty about misleading his oldest friend, and yet he was deeply saddened by the fact that he had to.

" Of course" Gwen wholly agreed, wrapping her arm around his. "Of course."

Merlin thought he'd choke on air. "You're not going to ask me why?"

Gwen merely gazed into his eyes with warmth. "I know you're hurting, dear friend, but it is not my place to drag it out of you. I'm worried, of course, but if you say Arthur's alright, wherever he is, then I am sure of it. You'll tell me whatever it is that's made you so sad when you're ready, although I think Lord Collins' accusation yersterday may have struck deeper than even you realize. I'm here for you when you need me. I trust you."

Merlin felt as if someone had truly torn his heart out. "I-"

For the briefest of moments he thought of telling Gwen everything, of sharing his darkest fears and lean on her shoulder. But how could he inflict that on her, someone he loved so much, someone he'd willingly die for?

"I think...some of the lords might have something to...hide." He managed, never mentioning that what they possibly had to hide was a breaking and entering and the possible kidnapping of Albion's High King. "After yesterday...I think they might use Arthur's...absence, to further their own claims. You and I know how Camelot works. I'm sure most of them know by now that the King is not exactly 'here'."

Guinevere nodded. "Hmm, yes. Ellie couldn't have kept it secret for long if the lords pressured her. I'm sure the news have already spread. Let's try and keep the order, then." She squared her shoulders. "Let's go, old friend."

And Merlin followed her into the next hallway, trying and failing to stop thinking of how he couldn't offer Arthur a drink of mulled wine or make sure he hadn't caught a cold or get him with a blanket, wherever he was. The thought made him want to weep and then...

Then it made him unbelievably furious.

He carried that fury with him into the council chambers.

(1) from this moment on, phonk music plays in the background every time Merlin breathes, lmao.

A summary for this chapter: Documentary narrator voice. "they both had a half-truth to work with but neither of them knew it"

(Merlin alternates between having Dear Friend by Paul McCartney and Airplane by BONES as his soundtrack haha.)

So, we'll see Arthur's POV in the next chapter but this was a much needed departure from the silliness to see, truly, everything his absence inadvertently causes.

Have a wonderful week! See you soon,

Ocean.