Chapter 27: He's the Kind of Manly Man who Never Speaks but Knows to Fight
"Speech"
'Thoughts'
"Zanpakutō"
"Hollows/Vizard"
"[Reading/listening to a message/letter]"
"{Speaking a different language}"
AN: Well this is a bit late, huh?
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Running through the endless corridors, halls, and chambers was really starting to get on Ichigo's nerves. He kept his Zanpakutō in one hand to avoid having to awkwardly draw it while carrying Nel in his other arm. He'd learned quickly the child was too prone to wandering off and he was not playing this crap again after Soul Society. He was going to find everyone and there'd be no splitting of the party again, even if he had to chain everyone together with Kidō. Currently, he was homing in on two signatures, one he recognized with ease and another, far weaker, one that was vaguely familiar. Unfortunately, Nel was getting fussy. "Where're we going, Itsygo?"
"I told you, we gotta find everyone else," he insisted. "C'mon, two of them are close- wait, don't-"
Nel's squirming intensified, resulting in Ichigo overbalancing as he tried to keep his grip on the struggling child. Tripping just as he came upon the corner, he fell face first… directly into Nemu's chest. The lieutenant casually knocked aside the hand holding Eien-ō while moving to catch Nel before she could fall. "I'm afraid this is neither the time nor the place, Ichigo-sama." Behind her, Hanatarō squawked in shock at the two officers' actions.
Ichigo pulled his face from her breasts and exclaimed, "Nemu! And…Taro?"
"Hanatarō, Captain Kurosaki, sir," The meek Seventh Seat offered.
"Right," Ichigo offhandedly agreed. The guy had a weird name as far as he was concerned, but they had a million more important things to focus on. "I don't suppose you two have run into anyone else?"
Shaking her head, Nemu answered, "Only Yamada-san. After eliminating a few weak Arrancar, I found him engaging in a rather unusual battle with an Arrancar who identified herself as Los Noches' medic." She paused for a second in consideration, "It's possible they might have been flirting with each other." Ignoring Hanatarō's protests that they were doing no such thing, she finished, "Regardless, she surrendered rather than fight so I gathered Yamada-san and set off to locate the rest of our group."
"Well, at least we don't have to fight everyone we meet," Ichigo offered. It wasn't much but it technically put them ahead of the attack on Soul Society. He fought the urge to frown at that. He and his friends had invaded two separate worlds now. He wasn't sure how to feel about that, but the teen figured he'd have time for that sort of navel contemplating later. "Neither of you are hurt?" When both shook their heads, he nodded and said, "Then let's go. I think I can sense Chad and maybe Ishida off that way. Hana, can you use Shunpo?"
Startled at being asked, Hanatarō stammered, "Um, kinda? I just learned recently, sir."
"Right, go as fast as you can, we'll match your pace. I'm not playing this 'everyone goes off on their own adventures' crap again," The young captain muttered the last bit to himself as he took Nel back from Nemu.
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Captain Unohana couldn't help but frown in annoyance as she Shunpo'd through the halls of Los Noches. Separating their group was a wise decision on the enemy's part, but that they were scattered so thoroughly and so widely was grating. At the very least, Isane and Nemu shouldn't have been so careless. The rest, she supposed she shouldn't be too hard on. Besides Isane, Hanatarō was the only one even a century old and he was always a skittish sort. And the humans lacked the training or experience for such things in all likelihood.
A hole opening up in the floor ahead was ignored as Unohana's Shunpo took her right past it. Shortly after, two sections of the walls tried to crush her between them, only to slam into a pair of Bakudō #81, Dankū. She had barely gotten past that trap when the ceiling crashed down to block her way entirely. The ravenette refused to break stride and drew Minazuki, slashing a hole in the newly created wall. Beyond it, what had previously been a simple straight hallway was now split into four branches, each of which turned off before long. Worse, even the original path ahead was gone. Unohana let out a sigh of irritation before deciding she'd had enough. She raised her offhand and bit out, "Hiryū Gekizoku Shinten Raihō." From her outstretched palm fired a colossal blue blast of power that promptly annihilated everything in front of her for a full kilometer. The winding maze of hallways was simply gone and after a moment to let any potential rubble fall, the much less annoyed captain continued onwards, now aiming towards an agitated presence she could sense in the distance.
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Two combatants zipped around their chosen battleground. One, a remarkably tall black man with a single line of small bone spikes down the center of his skull and a bone necklace, appeared to be in multiple places at once. Three, four, or even five copies of himself were constantly attacking his foe. Said foe, a much shorter but still fairly tall European woman with lime green hair and wearing a white suit, kept turning into a thunderbolt as she flashed from one area to another, throwing lightning around indiscriminately. Had she been more of a manga fan, Candice might have likened her recently learned ability to Enel from One Piece. As it was, she likened it more to an extreme version of a cat chasing a laser pointer.
"Your speed is impressive for a human. But I wonder, how long can you keep this up?" Zommari pondered out loud. Though he didn't show it, this battle was making him regret not training in more generalized Hollow abilities. He could use cero certainly, but the charge time was considerably longer than it was for other arrancar due to his lack of practice. And he never even bothered with bala. As a result, he had few options outside of his resurreccion for attacking a wide area.
In response, Candice was silent, mostly because she actually couldn't speak while she was transformed as she was. Or if she could, she hadn't figured out how yet. Much like the Espada she was fighting, the verdette irritably realized she couldn't do significant damage as she was. If she wanted to get through his hierro, she'd either need to utilize Blut Arterie or take time to charge up a stronger attack, either one would require she stop flashing all over the place as living lightning. It took her a moment to realize she was being an idiot. After all, there was more than one form of Blut. Hopefully, it would be enough.
The instant she reformed in midair near one end of the room, Zommari was surrounding her, five Zanpakutō thrusting towards various vital spots on her body. The moment they made contact, all of them stopped dead as glowing blue veins appeared at the point of contact. Even the blade pressing itself against Candice's eye failed to pierce her body. The Espada frowned in bafflement, not even pressing with all his force would allow him to impale the Quincy. That puzzlement turned to alarm as her body sparked with blue electricity. "Wheel of Taranis!" From her back shot eight equally spaced thunderbolts, forcing the real Zommari to dodge the one that would have struck him. But rather than crash into the walls, floor and ceiling, they all stopped in midair as lightning arced between the ends, forming a vertical eight-spoke wheel. The wheel rapidly spun around Candice's body, becoming less a wheel and more of a sphere as it expanded to encompass nearly the entire room.
Zommari found himself forced to the far side of the room even as the opposite end was obliterated by the attack. 'If she can do that repeatedly, it will be too dangerous to engage in melee. Therefore…' He didn't wait for the attack to taper off and braced himself as he utilized his resurreccion. "Suppress, Brujería." His Zanpakutō noisily bent into a spiral shape before releasing a thick cloud of white smoke. Once his body was entirely engulfed, the smoke thickened to an almost liquid substance. At the same time, Candice's attack ceased, revealing six wings shaped like lightning bolts sprouting from her shoulders, a spiky electric halo floating above her head, and thin ribbons of electricity floating around her body. Her vicious grin turned to a confused frown when Zommari's own transformed state was revealed. His legs were replaced by a pink pumpkin covered in cyclopean faces and his upper body was covered in eyes.
"Excuse me, what the fuck?" She demanded. The last Arrancar she had fought had vaguely reminded her of a Xenomorph but this one had turned into a pumpkin of all things. 'How does he even fight like that? Laser eyes?'
Zommari merely snorted disdainfully. "I can tell you underestimate my power. But in this form, mine is the greatest power of all. Behold!" The Espada reached outwards and on his palm was another eye. The eye's pupil shrank rapidly as the entire eye glowed purple. But Candice wasn't enough of a fool to simply let her opponent launch an unknown attack at her. She instantly turned to lightning and flashed to the opposite side of the man. Though she was still annoyed she didn't have a method to properly attack in that form, dodging would suffice for the moment.
Yet, when she reformed, Zommari simply smirked. "I struck you." Candice quickly took stock of her body but couldn't find anything different. "You see," the Espada explained, "Everything in the universe is 'governed' by its rightful master. Subordinates act under the orders of their superiors. The masses live under the rule of their king. The clouds move according to the will of the wind. The moonlight is ruled by the light of the sun."
"Is there a rest stop between now and the fucking point?"
"The point is that I have the power to govern others. My Amor steals the sovereignty of any object struck by it, giving me control over it. And now that I've struck part of your body, I control it." He boasted. His still outstretched hand clenched into a fist, "Behold!" Candice tensed, worrying how she'd fight off someone hijacking her body… then stayed tensed as she realized nothing was happening.
After a few seconds, she asked, "Wasn't something supposed to happen?" The Irishwoman shook her head, "That's just sad. Got me all worried for nothing."
As she shook her head, her hair moved as well, causing Zommari to see just where his mark had landed. To his consternation, he had apparently had the poor luck for his Amor to strike her hair of all things. It was almost enough to make him facepalm. However, that did give him an advantage; the Quincy clearly didn't believe his ability worked, meaning she had let her guard down. This time, one of the eyes on his chest lit up. "Whatever," Candice muttered, "Your stupid little eye thing failed, so why don't you just- waagh!" Whatever she'd been about to say turned into a shocked cry as her left foot suddenly slid sideways until she fell down into an involuntary split, the crotch point of her trousers splitting open at the sudden move. Wincing slightly, Candice looked at her foot, finding a black stylized sun mark on the top of the appendage. "Okay, guess it does work after all," she admitted. A glance downward caused her to notice the new hole in her suit. "Oh for the love of- I just got this suit! …At least I'm not wearing anything racy today."
"Now do you comprehend my power, little girl?" Zommari asked smugly.
"You screwed up my footing, congratulations. Did you want a biscuit?" Was her irritable retort. As far as she was concerned, his power was certainly a pain in the ass, but with him still being immobile, she didn't see what the big deal was. He could keep her from killing him but it certainly didn't seem like he could kill her. And honestly, he couldn't even do that much. After all, unlike Bambietta, she wasn't happy just getting by on raw power.
The Arrancar tilted his head curiously. "Still so arrogant. As you are, your mobility has been crippled. If I wished, I could have struck your head instead and taken complete control of your body. Perhaps I should have you walk yourself off the ledge instead?" Another eye, this time his natural right eye, glowed with power and a tattoo appeared on Candice's other foot.
But when he gestured, nothing happened. The Quincy smirked at him as he gestured more fiercely, only to get the same result. Slowly, she stood up. "Thanks for letting me know you could only control the objects you struck directly. Let's me save some effort, not using this on body parts you can't use against me yet."
"What did you do?! How can you resist my Amor?!" He demanded in disbelief.
Tilting her head, Candice answered smugly, "Never heard of Ransōtengai, I take it? Shame, you might've known better than to play around if you had." Bringing both her hands up, she held her fingers spread in front of her face in a gesture even she recognized and utilized her schrift to create a massive flash of lightning, lighting up the entire room like the sun itself.
When Zommari could see again, his opponent was gone. Frowning in consternation, he carefully looked all around him with all of his eyes to make sure she hadn't hidden or some such as he could still sense her close by. In fact, her Reiatsu was only growing more obvious. The Espada barely realized what that meant when he heard her shout, "Galvano Javelin!" Zommari's head turned as the wall next to him shattered and something glowing blue struck him in the mouth. He knew no more as the thunderbolt exploded, taking the upper half of his torso with it.
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With a bloody death rattle, Asguiaro Ebern fell to the ground, a Quincy arrow sticking out of his throat. Uryū looked over at Sado, who had already defeated his own opponent. "Hm, for how the others spoke, I must confess I expected more from these Arrancar," the archer commented.
His left arm transforming back to normal, Sado offered, "There are stronger ones. These two weren't much stronger than the ones I fought before. I think that makes them more foot soldiers than anything."
Uryū nodded as he deactivated his bow. "Well, at any rate, we should-" Whatever he was going to say was lost as Sado suddenly appeared directly behind him, shoving him to the ground with his left arm as his right blocked a massive polearm. The force behind the blow was such that he was knocked back a full three meters even after bracing himself, kicking up plumes of sand. As the pressure let up, he got his first look at their attacker.
A pair of Arrancar stood before them. The taller of the two towered over even Sado, his lanky body making him appear even taller still. The bizarre polearm, consisting of two crescent blades facing opposite directions on a pole, flew back to his hand as he pulled on an attached chain. Sado idly thought that the giant collar on the man's outfit made him look like a spoon. The other one was noticeably weaker, but still stronger than the two they'd just fought. He was also shorter and had short dirty blonde hair to the others long black hair. The taller of the two spoke up, sounding both amused and condescending, "Well, you actually blocked it. Not bad."
As Uryū stood up from where he'd been knocked prone, he resummoned his bow. "How do you want to play this?" He asked his companion. Like Sado, he could easily sense the disparity between the two Arrancar. Presumably, the stronger of the two was an Espada as the others had called them.
In Sado's mind, the answer was simple. He was durable, it was basically his whole thing back before he got powers; an attack like what he had just felt would have killed Uryū instantly. "I'll hold the taller one. You take care of the other one quickly then back me up."
"You two done whispering to each other?" The taller Arrancar demanded, "Because I'm getting bored." Rather than reply, Uryū fired off hundreds of arrows at once at the pair, seeking to drive them apart. While the blonde quickly dodged out of the way, his partner simply allowed the arrows to impact him. Each one bounced off his skin like raindrops. Though disheartening, it had accomplished Uryū's goal and he moved after the smaller of the two.
Not even sparing a glance in the direction the pair had taken off in, the remaining Arrancar asked, "Just you and me then, huh? You're one of the ones Yammy fought, aren'tcha?" Sado nodded as he resummoned the armor on his left arm. "Shame. I was hoping you'd at least be worth killing, but three of you couldn't stand up to a weakling like him."
"Are you an Espada then?"
"Am I an Espada? I'm the strongest Espada of all, Nnoitra Gilga!" He punctuated his declaration by sticking out his tongue, showing off the 5 tattooed on it.
"Doesn't that number mean you're the fifth strongest?"
His answer came in the form of an angry shout as Nnoitra threw his Zanpakutō at him once more. Ready for it this time, Sado deflected it upwards with a punch from his right hand. Then he moved in close and struck Nnoitra in the chest with his offensive left hand. But to his shock, his attack did nothing. The Espada laughed at him, "My Hierro is impenetrable, you idiot!" He punctuated his statement by charging a cero on the tip of his tongue, forcing Sado to quickly dodge back from him as the yellow blast flew towards him.
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"I must confess, I was intending to get one of the others in your party. My preparations for them are far more complete," Szayelapporo remarked haughtily. "Still, the spirit-recording bugs I infected that buffoon Yammy with did provide me with a great deal of data, including on those Kidō and Bankai you Shinigami are so proud of." The Espada made a grand sweeping gesture as he explained, "As such, I've created a device that prevents you from being able to use either while within this room. Do try not to lose too many limbs, would you? I'd love to study your corpse." To his fraccion, Szayel ordered, "Kill her!"
The multitudes of modified incomplete Arrancar swarmed Captain Unohana, who simply watched dispassionately. From the towering giants to the oddly ball-shaped to a pair who had functioned as a throne, they all rushed to tear her to pieces. The raven-haired woman sighed in irritation before placing a single hand on her sheathed Zanpakutō. What happened next was too fast to see. While Szayel saw mere flashes of light, his fraccion didn't perceive even that much. In the space between heartbeats, Retsu drew Minazuki and slashed all around her a myriad of times. Though her blade didn't touch even a single Arrancar, the sheer wind pressure of her attacks saw each and every fraccion falling to the ground, sliced to pieces. "Is that all?"
Though outwardly he kept grinning, in his own mind, Szayel was cursing ceaselessly. His ability lay in his traps and inventions, not in open combat. Here was an opponent who had most of her abilities sealed away and didn't even seem to notice or care! Still, he had plenty of cards left up his sleeve, most of which involved his resurreccion. Putting his internal panic aside, the pink haired man brushed his hair aside confidently and drew his Zanpakutō. "Very well. If you're going to simply bulldoze your way through one set of tests, we'll simply need to move on to the next set." Opening his mouth wide, he murmured, "Sip Fornicarás," as he swallowed his sword. After a moment, his body swelled massively like a balloon. Unohana's eyebrows rose, the sealed form of Minazuki still in her right hand. Szayel's body released a large amount of fine pink mist, completely obscuring him from view. Once it dissipated, his new form was revealed. His lower half was a mass of purple tentacles which was then covered by a white dress-like garment. His arms were covered by voluminous white sleeves and his fingertips had turned purple and elongated. The glasses-like mask fragment on his face had transformed into a headdress. And a quartet of vaguely branch-like structures grew from his back, each with a dozen red growths like blood drops hanging from them.
A superior smirk once more on his face, Szayelapporo addressed the Shinigami again, "Now then, shall we begin the second act?" From his back sprouted a veritable geyser of inky black liquid which rained down upon the entire laboratory. Unohana quickly realized the complete lack of cover and threw her haori above her head. To her surprise, the liquid didn't burn, melt, or otherwise harm the fabric. But her distraction caused a small droplet to land on her foot. From the point of contact, a duplicate of herself spawned. At the same time, her haori fell down upon her and as the stained fabric touched her body, another clone sprouted from each mark. In just a few seconds, dozens of copies were staring down the original Kenpachi. But they weren't completely identical to her, she noticed. Each was missing her telltale scar, noticeable as their hair was done up in a bun secured by a pair of pins rather than her customary frontal braid. Further, each had completely blank eyes with no pupil or iris in sight, though they did have black markings around their eyes. "Your hair didn't appeal to me, so I altered it. But for now, show me how you fair against yourself."
The captain's perpetual polite smile turned feral and bloodthirsty at the thought. This would be a worthwhile challenge. Her selves stood motionless for a moment. Then, all at once, several of them flung their haori at her, blinding her entirely. An instant later, half a dozen Zanpakutō sliced downward through the garments, seeking to carve up her flesh. Unohana's own sword caught three blades, while she grabbed an opponent by the wrist and pulled her forward, using her torso to catch the remaining two.
"We can do better than that, can't we?" She taunted her clones. With a single kick, she launched the duplicate's corpse at the horde in front of her. Without missing a beat, she grabbed one of her daggers and ran into the crowd. They reacted well, but it was clear that, much like her, they weren't used to fighting in a mob. It had been over a millennium since she had fought alongside even one partner. Being part of a whole group attacking a single opponent? She genuinely couldn't remember such a thing happening before, certainly not in such close quarters. A master swordsman could turn a battle into a dance, but just like a dancer, they needed room to maneuver. Unohana's blades danced without worry, slicing and stabbing into enemies with every movement. The horde, however? They had to aim carefully or risk injuring an ally. Unfortunately for them, it was readily apparent that they might have had her skill, but they didn't have her brains. By the time she made it through the crowd, a third of them were dead or disabled by their injuries. Her psychotic smirk in place, the first Kenpachi licked some of the blood off her Zanpakutō as she beckoned her duplicates forward with a crooked finger. "More."
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Sado would trust Uryū to finish the other enemy quickly while he held off the stronger of the two Arrancar. Nnoitra thrust his polearm forward but the Mexican teen caught the inside of the blade on his right arm. Now that he was better prepared for it, he barely slid back from the force. With his condescending grin in place, the taller man harshly jerked his weapon sideways, causing the side of the blade to swing towards Sado's face. Reacting quickly, he caught the blade with his right hand, carefully holding it to make sure the edge didn't cut into him.
But with both his arms occupied, his foe stuck out his tongue once more, a cero already charging on the tip. With the polearm still trying to take his head off, Sado had no choice but to shift his right arm as best he could to block the attack. The blast struck dead on, knocking him ass over teakettle backwards, though also taking him out of range of Nnoitra's Zanpakutō. But as soon as his feet touched the ground, Sado kicked off, ignoring the pain in his smoking left arm as he threw a jab directly into the lanky man's stomach, "La Muerte!" Despite using his finisher, Sado only received a grunt of pain for his trouble before he was backhanded away. Still, that proved this foe wasn't invincible, merely durable.
Sneering, Nnoitra kicked him in the side, sending him tumbling across the sand. "Don't get cocky just because you managed to bruise me with a damn fluke! I'm invincible!" He stomped downward on Sado's chest, once, twice, three times. Each hit elicited a strangled groan of pain as his ribs first cracked then broke. But when the sadistic Espada tried to stomp on him again, Sado forced himself to roll to the side even as he punched Nnoitra in the ankle with his right arm, blasting him with El Directo. Though it didn't do any damage, the force still unbalanced him, knocking the taller man on his ass.
Both fighters got to their feet, though Sado was definitely the more unsteady of the two. Nnoitra's mouth was once more curled into a condescending grin as he took in his battered opponent. As the teen put up his fists in a pugilist stance once more, Nnoitra openly laughed at him. "You really think you have a chance?! Ha! You know what, I'm going to give you one free shot! But you better make it count, because if you can't kill me with one attack, you won't live to regret it!"
Sado took a moment and channeled as much power as he could manage into his left arm. With his left fist blazing like an inferno, he rushed forward in a burst of speed and threw the mother of all haymakers directly at Nnoitra, "La Muerte!" The Arrancar's smug grin dropped at the last second as he realized just how much energy was being put into this single attack. Rather than simply tank the strike like he had every other, he actually moved to dodge at the last second. But he couldn't quite manage it, causing Sado's fist to impact the left side of his chest. The impact sent him hurtling backwards as blood spewed from his mouth. When he impacted the ground, he skipped along the sand in an uncontrolled tumble. Sado wanted to follow up to make sure his enemy was down but that last attack had left him exhausted, not to mention even breathing was painful with his broken ribs. Though Nnoitra had been wrong about his hierro being impenetrable, it was still monstrously strong.
When he stumbled to his feet, Nnoitra looked a mess. His left arm was gone, along with nearly a quarter of his torso. His previous mocking toothy smile was nowhere to be seen, replaced with a grimace of pain. What remained of his coat hung loosely from his remaining arm. Finally, his eyepatch had been lost, showing that both Nnoitra's hollow hole and mask fragment were centered around where his left eye should be. "Don't think you've won," he snarled. "I cannot be killed by you or anyone!" The Espada raised his Zanpakutō high and shouted, "Pray, Santa Teresa!"
An eruption of yellow Reiryoku engulfed his body and kicked up a cloud of sand, hiding him from view. As much as he wanted to interrupt his opponent, Sado had exhausted himself and was having trouble staying on his feet as it was. As the burst of energy faded, Nnoitra emerged in his resurreccion. Though he had gained a pair of uneven horns that resembled a crescent moon, the greatest change was that his wounds had healed and he now had four armored arms, each of his hands holding a scythe.
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Swinging her Zanpakutō, Unohana let off an air blade that drove most of the others back. Even losing an arm hadn't slowed her significantly. One clone was at a bad angle and avoided the attack entirely. With a snarl, the duplicate drove her sword into the Captain's belly from the side. The impaled woman rolled her eyes; that was her small intestine, damnit! Not even something that'd be immediately fatal if she were an ordinary human! Out of irritation, she didn't even flip Minazuki around to deal with that clone. Instead, she slammed the back of her fist into the other woman's face and followed through. The back of the clone's head smashed into and through the wall as her skull splattered. Even when Unohana pulled her hand back, the corpse hung there limply.
With that, there were only four clones of Unohana left. Szayel's laboratory had been turned into the world's worst slaughterhouse. Bodies littered every available surface, few of them intact. Limbs and organs rested in a pool of blood that was slowly growing to cover the entire floor. Even the ceiling hadn't been spared. A clone had been kicked upward with enough force that her organs ruptured on impact with the ceiling, leaving a blood splatter that was slowly dripping down onto the floor. Despite having her arm severed at some point along with multiple lacerations across her body, including one that had also cut off half her braid, Unohana stared at her remaining opponents in disappointment. "Is that all you can do?" Her uniform was shredded much like her body and her haori was literally dripping with blood, but her tone was one of utter boredom. "Their skill is acceptable, certainly. But their power is pathetic." To prove her point, she lashed out again, swinging her Zanpakutō at them from a distance. Despite only being hit by the air pressure of her swing, all four duplicates had to brace themselves to block it. "That's the weakness of your ability, isn't it? You can't make a copy that's stronger than yourself," She theorized.
With a snap of his fingers, Szayelapporo caused all of the duplicates to burst like balloons, even the corpses, leaving behind only the blood and severed body parts. Szayel sneered in aggravation, "Yes, that is correct. And unfortunately, because of you, I'll need weeks to remove all of this mess from my precious laboratory." As he walked forward, one of his lower wings surreptitiously moved behind her. Once he was only a couple meters away from her and the wing was in position, he cackled and mocked her, "But you won't live long enough for that to matter!"
The wing sprung forward, seeking to engulf the shorter woman. But to his shock, her sword flashed out faster than he could see. He could only stare in shock as the severed appendage fell to the ground. The pain only just began to register before his target was directly in front of him, her Zanpakutō stabbing through his jaw and up into his brain. Her smirk entirely gone, Unohana contemptuously muttered, "Even more than weak enemies, I do so loathe disappointing ones." With a brutal twist, she ripped her blade out of the Espada.
As his body fell to the ground and dispersed, the black-haired woman contemplated the multitude of severed limbs in the area. "Now which of these will fit?" Resheathing Minazuki, she picked up a nearby arm and held it to her stump consideringly.
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"Your cero is fast," Uryū offered, "but it's weak. Not to mention predictable." He easily dodged another cero cornea, punctuating his point. "Having only one eye and needing to look directly at your target also leaves you with a blind spot over 205 degrees where you can't attack without turning your entire body."
Tesra swiped at him with his sword, though it was dodged as well. "Shut up! I won't let you interfere with Nnoitra-sama's fight!"
"It seems to me like you don't have a choice. You can't stop me, can you?"
The fraccion angrily gripped his Zanpakutō with both hands as he snarled. "I'll show you! Crush, Verr-" Unfortunately, he learned that Uryū had learned his lesson from Soul Society. Rather than let his opponent release his Zanpakutō and fight at his full power, he decided to sabotage his efforts. In an instant, he shot an arrow at Tesra's face, forcing him to conjure a shield of reiryoku within the ring of his blade to block. Even before the arrow had been blocked, Uryū dispelled his bow and grabbed a thin silver handle off his belt. Channeling a bit of power into it, the handle sprouted a blade of pure Reishi, now resembling a straight sword. A single swing of the blade cut off almost the entirety of Tesra's Zanpakutō above the ring. The blonde Arrancar stared in horror at his ruined sword, knowing what the Quincy had just done. "You… bastard!"
"Arrancar are just Hollows that have gained Shinigami-like powers, are they not? And a Shinigami with a broken Zanpakutō cannot use its release." Uryū smirked knowingly, "It's the same for you, isn't it?"
Though crippled without the ability to use resurreccion, Tesra charged a cero cornea as he demanded disbelievingly, "How can you have multiple weapons like that? What the hell kind of Shinigami are you?!" Though he empowered his cero as much as possible, the bespectacled teen casually sliced through it with his Seele Schneider. He slashed out with what remained his sword, but it was parried at every turn. Finally, Uryū sliced the rest of his Zanpakutō's blade off before slashing him from shoulder to hip, driving him to the ground.
"I'm a Quincy, not a Shinigami. And this is an arrow, not a sword," Uryū clarified. Activating his bow once more, he twirled the Seele Schneider up into position and nocked it. Though gravely injured, Tesla nonetheless forced himself to his feet and staggeringly charged him. Before he covered even a third of the distance, Uryū fired. The sword flew less like an arrow and more like a bullet, creating a shockwave as it soared through the air. Tesla barely had time to register its approach before it was buried deep in his skull, killing him instantly. Unfortunately for Uryū, he had taken his attention off the other enemy, assuming that Sado could hold his own until he had defeated the weaker of the pair and then they could team up against the Espada. As such, he'd never know what happened as Nnoitra's weapon collided with the back of his skull. Even as Tesla's corpse fell to the ground, his final adversary's head was bifurcated, falling to the ground with a look of cool confidence forever frozen on his face.
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AN: Yeah, remember when I said I solved the problem of Uryū being seemingly irrelevant? Well, it's solved. And no, Orihime can't revive him. Unlike canon, she works on Princess Bride rules: "Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's only one thing you can do… Go through his clothes and look for loose change." Real talk, my personal dislike of him did not influence this decision. Which will be more obvious later when characters I do like also die. This isn't Game of Thrones (never got into that series tbh) but there's a number of non-canon deaths coming. On a funnier note, what Zommari hit was decided by using an RNG. Originally, he was going to hit his target (which would've been a limb) but then I was reminded that Candice turns into what's basically a ball of lightning, so what he hit was completely random. And his luck is trash. Granted, the fact he fought a Quincy meant he was boned to begin with. The idea of Ransōtengai acting as a counter to Amor was shamelessly taken from "A Protector's Pride." (Top tier fic, go read it)
Poor Szayel. He might've been bullied even more than canon. "Ha! Now you can't use your Bankai!" Murder Milf: "…And?"
Bad news: I'm feeling kinda burnt out on writing again and plan to take a break for a couple months. Just rest, recharge, and come back with more passion. Because, unlike a couple of my friends, I make no money off of this and it's strictly a hobby. And hobbies shouldn't be chores. I may or may not write something in that time since I have a couple oneshots I'm sorta working on, but don't expect anything from me until the start of August at the earliest.
Regardless. Next time on "Vow of the King": Partner swapping, a fun way to spice up your relationship or a bloody mess that can only end in disaster?