DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING
Note: I am back now and hope I still have all of you with me. I know I always apologize for the delays, but I had too much to deal with and couldn't do anything until I recovered. I hope you like this chapter because we are about to see some serious stuff hit the fan.
Hawke had reached the door before Fenris shot out his arm to stop her. Turning back, she met his gaze questioningly and he said softly.
"What did you need to tell me?"
Instantly the atmosphere darkened as Marian understood exactly what he meant. She remained silent for a long moment before saying.
"I can't remember my life before this, but I do know that I can trust you with my life. I also know what I feel for you and I know that out of everyone downstairs, I'm closest to you. Even over my family."
Pausing, to gather her thoughts she continued making sure she was understanding her correctly.
"I feel that Anders wants to use my mind, body and spirit for purposes that are dark and nefarious. At the very least I know that he loves me and is angry and hurt that I can't love him back. I can see that he desires me when he looks at me. He…"
She paused for a moment only continuing when Fenris inclined his head, urging her to continue.
"I need you to make me a promise before I can tell you what I know. I can't tell you anything unless you promise to do nothing with the information I'm going to give you and swear you won't tell another soul. This has to stay between us."
Fenris immediately shook his head in the negative.
"If what you know is going to put us in danger, we have to do something."
Sighing in frustration, Marian made another move to get past him only to be stopped again.
"Who are you protecting? Him?"
Fenris spoke calmly, but Marian knew he was anything but. Turning back to him, she shook her head.
"I need all of the information before I act. If you let him know you know something or you tell someone that let's something slip, he could change his plan and we'll never know what the hell he's doing. If that happens everyone could get hurt and he could try and hurt our son. I will not let our son be a pawn in whatever he's up to. He already got attacked once from what you all have told me."
Understanding dawned over his features and after a long moment of silence, Fenris promised and Marian told him what Anders had said. His face was unreadable, but took on a serious yet thoughtful look. After a long moment of silence he murmured.
"A revolution."
Seeing her confusion, he began to explain how Anders felt about the mages and the templars and how Marian had come to him one night worried that Anders was falling prey to the spirit inside him. He told her that Anders wanted to start a revolution and have her help him. Sitting on the bed, she looked thoughtful before asking.
"Have we been on any unusual missions lately? Anything that didn't seem right?"
Sitting down next to her, he thought for a very long moment before he said very quietly.
"The trip to the Bone Pit and Darktown. Anders was investigating a way that would let Justice separate from his body. It sounded too good to be true to a few of us, but..."
He paused turning his head from her.
"You insisted on helping him."
Marian felt guilty before asking softly.
"When I came to you and told you that I was worried the spirit would overtake him, did I say that I would help with his revolution?"
Keeping his body in place and keeping his eyes turned from her, he said quietly.
"I want to talk to Tomwise, Martin and Worthy."
Marian frowned not understanding, but cut him off from speaking again.
"Did I agree to help him?"
When he still didn't reply she raised her hand to his face and gently turned him back to her. She knew he could resist easily, but it was clear that he didn't want to fight her. Saying his name very softly, Fenris finally answered her.
"You said no."
Marian sighed in relief, before raising her eyes and saying.
"I'm relieved, but I feel like I shouldn't be. He just wants to help people that are suffering. I just...get the feeling that his methods are dangerous."
Fenris nodded and said softly.
"He almost killed a girl. If you hadn't been there she would have died at his hand."
Thinking for a moment, he went back to his former point and explained why he wanted to talk to the three men.
"They are experts in poisons and runes. Maybe they've heard something about rare potions or magic or even...ingredients that aren't what they seem. I think our little abomination wants to start a war and I believe he wants you to be the catalyst."
Seeing her expression he continued.
"Before your accident, you told me as much in confidence. You said you feared what would happen if he lost himself entirely and that he kept putting pressure on you."
Marian closed her eyes for a moment before she attempted to open her mouth to reply. Instead she found herself gasping in surprise when Fenris grabbed her and placed his lips over hers. Meeting his gaze and showing her confusion, Fenris narrowed his eyes and gripped her tightly silently telling her to play along. Relaxing slightly and following his lead she kissed him back for a long moment feeling surprise again when she felt him relax as well and press harder against her. Reaching a hand into his snow white hair, she continued kissing him and let out a small whimper against his mouth until she heard the door open and a low growl. Breaking apart,she placed her fingers to her lips blinking before looking at Fenris shyly. His gaze was dark, but softened seeing her expression and to her delight, his lips upturned into a genuine smile. Hearing a throat being cleared, she turned to see Anders and Carver in the doorway. Blushing furiously and seeing Carver raise his eyebrows and a grin form on his face he said.
"I guess you two are getting along better than we thought?"
Anders eyes flashed blue for the slightest moment before his gaze went back to normal. The second was all it took however, for Fenris to grasp Marian protectively and let out a warning growl of his own. Fighting a shiver and attempting to rise to her feet, she found she couldn't as Fenris was unwilling to release her.
"Did you come up here to tease me?"
She asked. Carver looked as if he had something in mind to tell her, but Anders beat him to the punch.
"I need to go back to my clinic. It's urgent."
Feeling Fenris flex his fingers around her so minisculely that she knew it wasn't obvious to the others, Marian knew that Fenris was suspicious.
"What do you need? I thought it wasn't safe for any of us to leave the mansion right now."
Carver bored his eyes into hers and while his tone was light, his eyes were not.
"I'll go with magey. Merill volunteered to go as well, which made Varric agree."
Offering another grin, he said.
"If this was when we had first gotten to Kirkwall I'd be upset. I had a bit of crush on her."
Forgetting their conversation for a moment Marian turned to Fenris and saw him nod his head before saying.
"He's with Isabela now."
Marian's eyes widened in surprise before looking at Carver who rubbed a hand through his hair and nodded sheepishly. Obviously getting annoyed with the topic Anders brought the group's attention back to himself and said.
"If you can pay attention for a second, I was speaking to you."
Unwinding herself from Fenris, Marian stalked past the men without casting Anders a glance, and walked quickly down the stairs to the kitchen ignoring Anders snapping at her from behind, before saying quietly.
"Leto please go to your father."
Looking up from his plate which Orana had littered with treats, he looked confused until he saw that Marian's eyes meant no argument. Nodding he glanced back down at his plate and snatched half of the contents before looking at her once more. She softened her gaze so he knew he wasn't in trouble and he grinned before running out of the room yelling for Fenris and saying that he had something for him. Turning to the group who was eying her warily she snapped.
"Are you out of your damn minds?"
Seeing Sebastian blush, she found herself wanting to roll her eyes, but stopped herself from doing so and her gaze locked with Varric's.
"You all have made it clear that leaving is dangerous right now. What the hell are you thinking going alone to…."
Frowning, she said.
"Wherever Anders clinic is!"
Aveline bit her lip in an attempt not to laugh and her husband said quietly.
"He's threatened to leave whether we go or not. He's forcing our hand."
Feeling herself getting more upset she spoke again raising her voice.
"Isn't the reason everyone is camping out here because the Templars know where we all live and are looking for us? There are how many of us and one of him! You don't think we could get him to stay?"
It was Anders that spoke this time.
"Marian, it's important. I wouldn't have the group risk their lives for no reason. I would have asked you to come, but with your memory..."
Spinning on her heel, she snapped.
"What's so important?"
Anders held her gaze for only a second and responded.
"I need supplies. I have an idea for how we could get your memory back."
Marian kept her voice neutral when she spoke.
"I thought you could just heal me?"
He nodded before saying.
"I may be able to, but if not, I believe there is a potion that might help."
Turning back to the group she asked.
"I can't change anyone's mind?"
Merill shook her head and Varric shut his eyes for a long moment before he did as well. Sitting down at the table herself Marian studiously ignored the group until Anders said they needed to leave. Looking apologetically at Marian Varric lowered his eyes and followed the group out. Looking past him at Anders, she saw him discreetly pull a key from his pocket before leading the group out. Locking her eyes on the key, she felt something tugging on the corner of her mind and began struggling with herself to keep it. Closing her eyes and forcing herself to concentrate, she slammed her hand on the table when nothing came to her.
Feeling the remaining members of the group jump, she stood up and walked back into the main room before sitting by the fire thinking. Feeling the group settle around her, Sebastian spoke quietly.
"I don't trust Anders."
Aveline and Donnic quickly agreed while Isabela immediately jumped to Anders' defense which only strengthened Marian's resolve that she shouldn't say anything to anyone. At least not yet. Charade was the next to speak and she sounded afraid.
"What if the potion does something to your mind that can't be undone? Is it really worth the risk?"
It was Fenris who broke the silence and spoke so softly the group had to strain to hear him.
"I'm not letting that bastard touch my…..Hawke."
He recovered, but not quickly enough and Marian couldn't stop the small smile that graced her lips and the group began smiling as well when they noticed her eyes. Turning to Fenris and seeing his ears were dark, Marian bit her lip and turned back to the group.
"I don't know what caused me to lose my memory or why, but you all have made it clear that you need me. Right now I can't use my powers so I may not have a choice, but I don't want Anders touching me."
Hearing protests again she took a deep breath and let them see a rare moment of vulnerability.
"I don't like him touching me."
She whispered softly. The room fell silent at her admission and Fenris came behind her and placed his hands protectively over her shoulders. Isabela shook her head before saying.
"Marian, you know Anders would never hurt you."
Fenris shook his head.
"He would if she got in the way of something he wanted."
When the group looked at him confused and he felt Marian squeeze his hand warningly, he continued.
"He also knows that even if…," he stopped for a moment and looked over to his son who was playing with Fang without a care in the world. As he knew his hearing would still catch what he said he sighed in frustration before Bodhan quickly rose and called out to Leto before taking him to the library and Sandal, Orana, and Tomwise quickly followed.
Looking at Marian now, he continued, while looking apologetic.
"He knows that even if Marian and I don't form a relationship again, that he can't have her. That also makes him dangerous as his love borders on obsession."
Aveline cokced an eyebrow before teasing.
"Yours doesn't?"
Not bothering to answer her, he focused on the fact that Marian's hand had slipped from his shoulder and he could tell from the other's faces that she was hurt. Standing up, Marian said quietly.
"We won't know anything until he gets back, but after everything you've all told me, I can't help but feel as if we've just made a tragic mistake."
That's all for now guys! I have the next chapter in the works and I will post it as soon as I possibly can. I hope you all liked this chapter and please review!