Chapter XLIV

Moonbeam Memories

AN: This took much longer than usual because I had to move again. I am settled back in and should resume my almost-regular montly update schedule.

AN2: Italics indicate flashbacks.

Emma was barefoot. She hadn't noticed for two blocks. She could blame Emma's long gown, but that was incidental. Regina hadn't noticed. She was so lost in her own head. It was all too much: Emotionally, physically, magically. She was both drained and buzzing. Everything had happened so fast. Her head was spinning.

"Regina Xaviera Rosalia Del Sol?" So Emma had heard Esmeralda's invocation of her full name. "That's-" Emma winced but recovered quickly. "-a mouthful."

That was when Regina finally noticed. She focused on the here and now and looked at Emma. "Darling" She stopped mid-step, "where are your shoes?"

Emma shrugged a shoulder. "Couldn't kick ass and take names in high heels." She grinned, "I'm not as talented as you, Xaviera."

She shot Emma a withering glare for the name, but let it drop away. Emma had been barefoot the entire time. Why hadn't she said anything? Emma never spoke up about herself. She would self-depreciate and deflect long before she complained. She was the product of growing up in an abusive and neglectful environment. Thanks to her.

Regina sighed. She could not go back and change the past. She was powerful, but magic had limits. She couldn't change the past. No matter how much she wanted to. She could take control of things now, though. She would not let Emma cripple her feet. Their date could wait. Emma's health and wellbeing were more important than whatever couples did on dates.

Regina turned and met Emma's eyes. She leaned close and pressed a chaste kiss to Emma's lips. "Let's go home.'' She teleported them away, from the street to the manor. That was magic she could do. The manor finally felt like a real home now with Emma's presence. It was warm, and quiet and dim, comforting and welcoming. Everything Regina dreamed her home would be.

"I'm so sorry, Emma." She truly was. "I ruined your first ball and our first date. I should have told you about the summoning. I did not know it would be so." Life-threatening, traumatic, dangerous, terrifying, life-altering "complex." She hadn't wanted Emma anywhere near the wraith again. Regin a didn't apologize often, but she was sorry. She ruined everything. She had put Emma in danger. She had put everyone in Storybrooke, including Henry, in mortal danger. She was The Evil Queen.

"Baby." Emma's voice was soft and kind. She put strong and slender hands on her cheeks and tilted her face up. "You didn't ruin anything. The only good part of that dance was seeing you and Henry. Yes. I wish you would have told me about your magical shenanigans ahead of time. So I could talk you out of it or at least be there to protect you the whole time." She frowned, "You could have died. I can't-" Emma's eyes darted away from her for a moment. "Henry and I would be lost without you."

Emma grinned and her eyes cleared up to a playful crystal blue with flecks of emerald. "As for our date, you got us here a lot faster."

Regina blinked, still overwhelmed, and a little confused. "I beg your pardon?"

Emma's grin got bigger and her eyes twinkled. "Come on." She slid her hands away from Regina's face and grabbed her hand instead. Emma pulled her along towards the kitchen.

"What on Earth?"

Emma didn't answer or even acknowledge her. She kept tugging her along.

It made Regina smile despite herself. It was strange but wonderful. Emma could navigate the manor in the dark without bumping or bumbling around. She belonged here. She was home, even if Emma didn't realize it yet.

The kitchen was lit by a soft and odd glow. Regina couldn't imagine what it was. Her jaw dropped when she saw what Emma had done.

"Oh, Emma."

She did not recognize her back garden. The decorations had transformed it. There were lights strung around the trees and bushes. There was a blanket and a basket under her tree. Soft music, a lilting Spanish guitar, was playing from her Bose radio.

"I-"

Overwhelmed was an understatement.

"See at first I wanted to impress you. " Emma explained, "I wanted to give you the fanciest first date ever."

Emma lead her out to the patio. The weather was mild, and Regina could tell that someone, Esmeralda, had used magic to make it so.

"But then I realized that I'm an idiot."

Regina smirked but said nothing.

"You are a queen. You had all the fancy clothes, food and-" Emma traced a single finger along her necklace. "-and sparkly stuff you could ever want and more."

Emma's finger traced up her neck. It made every inch of her skin break out in goosebumps. It made her pulse race and her blood beat against the sides of her throat. It made her feel, Spirits help her, hopeful.

"You weren't happy, though."

Regina felt her heart flutter in her chest. Emma knew her better than hordes of servants, attendants, and hangers-on ever had. More than anyone save for Daniel.

"You and I are more alike than different. Happiness, our happiness, isn't about stuff. It's about little moments and gestures. It's about family and home and just being us."

They wandered to the picnic blanket as Emma spoke.

"So I thought we could spend tonight getting to know each other." Emma tugged her down to sit. "Like normal people who don't fight magical monsters every week like a crappy TV show."

Regina settled down on the blanket and settled her skirts around her. Emma sat down with less grace. She made herself comfortable on the blanket without care. She folded her legs and rested her elbows on her knees, relaxed. Regina thought she was adorable.

"So I brought some of my favorite foods." Emma grinned, and Regina knew that crooked little gesture that meant she was up to no good. "And I cheated a little and asked around about your favorite foods.''

Regina cocked a brow.

"Your real favorites. I mean actual food, not the fruit and granola healthy crap Madam Mayor loves so much."

Regina rolled her eyes but said nothing. Emma was right, she had guilty pleasure foods. She leaned in when Emma flipped the basket open. Emma shooed her back a little and brought out a plain foam to-go box.

"Ruby let me borrow the diner's kitchen for a bit." Emma seemed proud of herself. "So I made this-"

"I'm not a chef like you." Emma chuckled. "But I know the basics. I learned as a kid. We took turns in the group homes. Nothing fancy." She was a whiz at tuna helper, ramen noodles and spaghetti. Fast, cheap and proportioned for many mouths. She had grown up on processed, boxed and canned foods. This had been back before people gave a damn about nutrition.

"Some foster homes took me in had the kids cook too. I learned to grill from this one guy. He was a hardcore alcoholic. I mean he made Leroy look like an AA poster child. He was a genius with a grill, though. He could have had his own restaurant if he ever stayed out of the bottle."

Emma grinned at the memory. Despite Chet's alcoholism and his wife's apathy, that had been a good place. She'd been sad to leave. Boston was a food desert and cheap good eats were hard to find if you didn't have a car or a few hundred dollars. She hadn't ate as well as she had at that home anywhere else.

"After that, I didn't get to cook anything. There isn't a kitchen in the Bug. Then jail. I didn't do much cooking, adult cooking, until I ended up in Tallahassee."

She opened the to-go box to reveal the oversized cat head biscuits she'd baked that morning.

"They're better hot and fresh, but they're still fantastic." If she didn't say so herself, and she did because it was freaking true.

She plucked a biscuit out with a small napkin. It was cool now and a little crumbly.

"This is the first thing I learned to make from scratch. I must have baked a million of them. The recipe is burnt in my brain."

A little nervous frizzle shot up her spine. She was babbling like an idiot. Regina took the biscuit from her fingers. She hoped Regina enjoyed it.

"I mean it is way better with jelly you will not find anything like it in Maine or anywhere north of the-"

Regina shushed her with a single finger to her lips. It was a light touch and shouldn't have been sexy, but it was. Everything Regina did was sexy. Emma took the hint and stopped talking. She also pressed a tiny kiss to the pad of Regina's finger.

Emma pulled a bottle of root beer out of the cooler she'd hidden behind the tree. She popped it open and handed it to Regina without a word. Regina blinked in surprise and took the bottle with a smile.

That smile, small and bright, was worth every one of the twenty bucks she'd given Henry for the information. Regina loved root beer. It was, according to their kid and the spark in Regina's eyes, her favorite drink.

Regina took a small bite of the biscuit and chewed. Emma could feel her biceps and calves twitching. She wanted to fidget, to move, to act out her nerves. She knew it tasted good. Even Granny had said so, and she ran a restaurant. Still, though, she wanted Regina to like it. She watched the delicate flutter of Regina's throat as she swallowed and then took a drink. Emma waited, readying herself for rejection.

"This is" Emma's eyes snapped back up to Regina's face. "amazing."

She didn't take another bite; she tilted her head to the side. "How did you learn to make these?"

Emma smiled because the memory was a good one.

Tallahassee was the capital of Florida. It was also where she would piece herself back together again. It was as good a place as any, Emma guessed. The city randomly chosen by a dumb teenager on a map. Her would-be Happily Ever After. Only kids and idiots believed that crap. Emma wasn't either of those things anymore. That nieve, love-blind girl that Neal had lead on and then betrayed was gone. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Emma No-Middle-Name was a different person now. She was a better and smarter person. A person who would never fall for the love-con again.

Neal was long gone. She didn't know where and she did not fucking care. The only person on earth she cared about was gone too. Her baby, Baby Boy Swan, was safe and loved with a family and a dog named Spot. he would never know his screw-up ex-con mom and that was a good thing.

Emma was all by herself in the flattest and most unimpressive capital in the nation. It was the shit-for-brains state that put Dubya in the White House too. So she should lower her expectations. Oh well, if these yokels could make it, then she definitely could.

She parked her Bug at the back of a Walmart parking lot. It had enough gas to get ten more miles but no farther. She feasted on the last of her groceries, off-brand corn chips, cold sausages and a dented can of V8. She didn't have nearly enough money for a motel, so she curled up in the tiny backseat. She needed a job and an apartment.

"Like it's that easy." She mocked herself out loud because there was no one else there to do it for her.

It wasn't easy at all. You had to have an address to get a job. To get an address, you had to have money. To get money. Well, the list sort of went circular after that. Emma sighed. First, she needed a shower. The last time she'd showered was in Baton Rouge. The last time she'd worn clean clothes was before that. Texas maybe? She needed to find a laundromat and shower. Being clean and neat would go a long way towards landing a job.

She was over scrounging out a living. She wanted no more under the table or pay-by-the-day odd jobs. She didn't want to panhandle, lift wallets or run the occasional hustle anymore. She wanted a real job like a real adult. A normal job that would let her have a normal life. She folded her arms behind her head and sighed. She would start her life as a responsible adult Emma Swan tomorrow.

"I found a cheap coin laundry-," She said cheap but meant sketchy. Emma doubted Regina would know that, though. "-mat. Between loads, I sort of wandered around."

She smiled. The memory was so vivid and bright in her mind.

Emma leaned back against the tree and grabbed a biscuit of her own. The smell alone took her back.

"Her restaurant didn't have a name. It was on the rough side of Tallahassee." That was putting it nicely. It was between the laundromat and a (almost legal) pawn shop."

She bit into her biscuit. While she had her mouth full Regina moved to sit beside her. She leaned close; they were shoulder to shoulder.

"I don't remember-" Regina frowned. "-any restaurant on your-"

Emma laughed, coughed and choked all at once.

Regina immediately patted her on the back. It was such a mom-reaction.

"Sorry." Emma cleared her throat, took a drink, and swallowed. "Sorry. I forgot that you had your pet gopher background check me."

Regina looked away, and Emma knew she was blushing.

"And since I've run down a ton of crooks that looked normal, I don't blame you." Emma licked a crumb off of her thumb. "In hindsight, it was exactly the right thing to do. If some weirdo started hanging around our kid now, I would do more than a background check on them." She smirked. "I would try to run them the hell out of town." Which had been exactly what Regina had done. "You're a good Mom. Scary but good."

Regina leaned her head on Emma's shoulder. "So are you. Now, continue, please."

Emma smiled, "So DolleeLee Roxroy. Dollee not like the singer. Lee like the Civil War general." How did she describe one of the strangest, fairy tales included, people she'd ever met? "I was outside looking over the menu board and trying to figure out if I could cover to dry my clothes and eat too. I had a fist full of quarters and an empty stomach. I was trying to do math in my head and this woman came out of the restaurant and stared at me. She stood there for a full five minutes. Then she went back inside, and I thought it was over." She had also figured out that she hadn't had enough money for both dry clothes and food.

Emma could still see her in her mind. "She came back out and threw and threw an apron at me. She never asked me anything. It was spooky. She told me to park the bug around back and get to work. She worked in cash, no credit, no checks, and no paperwork. She was old school." Emma chuckled, "And also a little crazy."

She would have fit right in here. She had been stuck in the eighties too. She'd worn bright and rhine-stoned clothes under her apron. She always curled and teased her bleached-blonde hair. That hair defied gravity and was held in place with enough hairspray to have her own hole in the ozone layer. DolleeLee had been an icon in Tallahassee.

"I scrubbed about a thousand pots, pans, and plates." Emma chuckled and finished off her biscuit. "And Dolleelee could give Granny a run for her money. She worked us all hard, but that was so we kept up with her. She was this weird lady from Alabama." Emma smirked. "A tiny backwoods town in the mountains, Winnepesaukah, hard to say and harder to spell. She was weirdly proud of that. No matter where she was from, that woman could cook. She made the most amazing food! She served the best breakfast in Tallahassee, maybe all of Florida. I gained fifteen pounds while I was there."

Of course, she had barely weighed one hundred pounds when she'd arrived so those fifteen pounds hadn't been bad.

"People would pack in every morning from five-am on. She served some lunch, mostly biscuit sandwiches, and closed by two. Which was good because I could get a second job that way. After two solid months of dish duty, she pulled me over to the oven and showed me how to make these. I worked there for six months until I had a decent apartment and a steady job at a warehouse."

That warehouse had been the pits, hot and hard work, but they had paid well. She'd hated it, and hated it more because she'd been sober the whole time. Emma had proved to herself that she could be an honest, hard-working citizen. She paid her bills, and established her first bank account, She'd signed up for a credit card and a cell phone. She'd even had health insurance. Emma Swan had finally become a real adult.

"When I told Dolleelee that I was leaving, she smiled. She told me to take care of myself. She never judged me or treated me like trash. I stopped back in there on my way out of town. She wasn't surprised. She said I would never be a real Floridian."

Dolleelee had been right. Maine was the exact opposite of Florida. Yes, there was the beach and ocean, but it was all different. There were the forests and rivers, and miles of untamed beauty. Regina's curse had dropped her in a place that perfectly suited her.

Regina turned her chin with a soft finger so they were face-to-face. "I am so glad you didn't become a Floridian."

She absorbed Emma's story and let it settle in her mind. Regina tried to imagine a young Emma working in a small hot kitchen. She couldn't see it. Emma didn't seem the type.

"So I had a little help with this one. I can't even pronounce it right, apparently." Emma pulled out a plastic Tupperware. Regina recognized it from her own kitchen. She handed it to her. "Go ahead."

Regina popped open the dish and jerked in surprise when fragrant steam hit her nose. "Oh!" There were five savory balls of mashed and seasoned plantains on a bed of spiced rice. She didn't have to ask what it was, she knew. How had Emma known? No one knew! They looked amazing. They looked and smelled exactly like she remembered.

Emma brushed her hair back and kissed her on the cheek. "So what are they and how do I say the name?"

Regina smiled, she couldn't help herself. Emma had given her something she'd thought she'd never had again. "Mofongo." She spoke slowly so Emma could follow the sounds and proper pronunciation. It was little more than a whisper. Regina was in awe and couldn't muster anything else. Manners forgotten, she picked one up with her fingers and bit in.

Mother made her ride in the carriage the whole way. It was a long trip and she couldn't see that much. She would rather ride with Daddy and Esmeralda. Regina had asked, but Mother's only answer had been a glare and the sting of invisible magic all over her body. She was supposed to practice her needlework and be quiet. Mother quizzed her about her lessons and lectured her about how one should behave. The long ride, over a week, was worth it when she finally saw Castillo Valentina. It was her Grandfather's favorite home and she could see why. It was beautiful. She would want to spend her birthday here too.

"Well?"

Regina blinked her eyes open. She had been so lost in memory she hadn't realized she'd closed them.

"I was seven or eight. Father took us to Court. King Xavier's, my grandfather's, seaside castle. It was very far south, further than I'd ever been before or since. It was his birthday."

Regina held out the remaining half of the mofongo for Emma to taste.

"It was a grand affair."

She stuttered to a stop when Emma ate from her fingers. Emma's lips brushed across the pads of Regina's fingers softly.

It was also the last time I saw or spoke to my father's family. I have" She thought, "sixteen cousins.'' Regina frowned, "Well, I did, though I doubt any of them would claim me."

Emma held up a finger, finished chewing, swallowed then cleared her throat. "One, this is amazing. Two, if your cousins don't think you're an amazing badass then you got all the brains in your family."

Regina chuckled and wiped the crumbs off of Emma's chin. "I know that you got all the brains in your family."

Emma grinned then turned back to the dish. "These are so good. You should get the recipe from Esmeralda.

Regina picked up one of the other balls. "I've been trying for years. Bastian has never got them right. Neither have I. There are versions in this world, from Puerto Rico, but it still wasn't right."

Emma grabbed another and let out a groan at the first bite. "So good!" Her mouth was full and her eyes closed.

That was exactly the same way Regina felt. It was more than the taste, though. It was like finding a piece of herself. One she thought was irrevocably lost. No one, not Daniel or Maleficent, had ever done something so thoughtful for her. Emma had no motives, plans or schemes. She wanted them to have an amazing first date. She was succeeding far beyond whatever she could have imagined.

After swallowing again, Emma's eyes popped open. "So? Do you remember anything else about the fancy to-do with your family?"

Regina did. It was a little fuzzy and distant, but a happy memory."It was so beautiful. The Southern Kingdom had a powerful navy and sea-trade presence. The Armada and the largest merchant port was in Puerto Reinas, Queen's Port, and the castle overlooked it all. The sea was warm and so blue. The town was gorgeous. The buildings were all whitewashed walls with tile roofs. There were fruit trees lining every street. It was hot and humid but the breeze came from the sea and cooled everything. For a child, it was paradise."

The castle, named for one of her ancestors, had been beautiful too. Beautiful and full of people. There had been more people in the palace than she'd ever seen in one place. Disney World wished they could match the artistry and glory of that event.

"The King's sixtieth birthday was a giant holiday. There was a festival in town and all the ships went out to the harbor every night and shot off fireworks. I'd seen nothing like it before. They must have emptied the treasury to pay for everything."

She hadn't talked about this to anyone but her father for years. Had she even told Daniel? She hadn't been able to tell Henry, how could she? She'd had to protect her curse.

"I don't remember everything, but I remember my cousins. I got to spend the entire week with them. I'd never played with other children. I was very sheltered and my cousins." She chuckled, "were not."

"Go, Nightingale. They are your family and you should know them."

Esmeralda nudged her towards the large table. All the royal children were sitting there, watching her.

Regina had never been to a banquet like this. They were in a large ballroom that opened to a lavish garden with a fountain and pool as big as a lake. There were gaily dressed dancers and acrobats. Musicians played guitars, horns, and flutes. There was loud and joyous laughter. There were mountains of food, most she'd never seen before.

The children's table was full too. She knew their names, ranks and their places in the line of succession, but she didn't know their faces. It was terrifying.

Her Mother and Daddy were already sitting at another table with the other adults and the King. Esmeralda had already left her to go to the far end of the dining hall. She ate with the other servants and governesses. People surrounded her, but Regina felt alone. Queens didn't cry. She could hear her mother hiss in her mind. She wasn't a queen, though; she was a little girl, and everything scared her.

"Who are you?" A girl, taller and older than her, walked right up to her without curtsying or introducing herself. "I like your dress."

Regina's tongue felt huge in her mouth. She understood her, Daddy had taught her how to speak the Southern tongue, but she was nervous and-

"Are you mute or dumb?"

"Antonia!" Another girl, shorter and smiling, came over. "You're scaring her! You're Regina, right? Tio Henry's daughter?"

All she could do was nod.

"You should be nicer, Toni, she's never been to court. Mami said we should welcome everyone. She's familia."

The first girl looked a little embarrassed. She scuffed her slippered foot across the floor. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm Lucia and this rude creature is Antonia. You can come and sit with us." Lucia took Regina's hand before she could answer and lead her to the table.

"I ate so much that I was sick, but mofongo was my favorite. I got to play and swim and be a child, something that Mother rarely allowed. It was the best week of my young life. You brought all that joy back."

Emma couldn't have known, and that made it all the better. A sweet surprise for both of them. Regina kissed her cheek. "Thank you."

Emma buffed her nails on her gold dress. "I try." She delved back into the basket. "I kind of wish I'd saved that for last. This one will be a let-down." She pulled out a single foil package and Regina recognized it immediately.

"A Pop-Tart?"

Emma ripped open the package with her teeth. "Yup. I loved these things as a kid." She grinned a little, "and now."

She handed Regina a so-called pastry. It had a dark brown hard frosting with a tan crust. She was trying to be open-minded, but she was a little underwhelmed.

"S'mores Pop-Tarts. These were all I wanted when I was pregnant. They were all I could think about some days. Forget pickles or peanut butter, I wanted Pop-Tarts."

Oh, well then. Regina nibbled on it. The inside was striped brown and white and the filling was extremely sweet. She could feel cavities forming.

"You ate these while carrying our son?"

Emma shoved half of the pastry into her mouth. She couldn't talk because of all the sugar and carbs, but she shook her head in the negative. "'I was locked up and couldn't work a prison job because I was pregnant. I didn't have anyone to put money on my books either. So I wanted, but I didn't get."

Emma leaned her head back against the tree. "And when I got out I was too, um-" She sighed. "I was too messed up to even look at a box. On Henry's first birthday I finally ate one. I ate one and cried like a baby. After that, I did it every year. I'd eat a box of S'mores Pop-Tarts and think about him. I would think about the wonderful life he was living. I imagined him happy, healthy and loved. That's what I did in prison too. I dreamed about it. One time I had an amazing dream about him in a sweet little room."

A beautiful smile spread across Emma's face. "Pale yellow with alphabet decorations. It was warm and pretty but not, like, super fussy. There was a rocking chair next to the-"

Oh Spirits!

"The window." Regina finished for her. She dropped her PopTart and put a hand on each of Emma's cheeks. "Darling."

Emma opened her eyes. They glowed with unshed tears and barely controlled emotions.

"That was Henry's nursery."'

She had wanted it to be light and cheerful. She wanted her Little Prince to have nothing but the best. She'd put the rocking chair by the window. She wanted to show Henry the stars and the town she'd built for them when she rocked him to sleep.

"I sang him to sleep in that rocking chair every night until he was four years old."

The chair was in one of the spare rooms. She had given most of the nursery furniture to Ashley but had not been able to part with the rocking chair. It held too many precious memories.

Emma's jaw dropped open. Regina could feel the smooth movement of bone and tendon under her fingers.

"But how?" A tear slipped out of Emma's eye.

Regina caught the tear with her thumb and wiped it away. "Magic. Your magic. You." Her heart thudded and swelled in her chest. "You've been here all along. You-I think you were reaching out to us." She had been trying to come home before she knew where home was. "I didn't feel it, feel you, because of The Curse."

Spirits damn her. The Curse. Her Curse. It had kept Emma away for so long. They had lost so much time. Emma had reached out, through time and space. She had tapped into magic that she couldn't know about or understand. She had wanted to come to Storybrooke but couldn't. The Curse hadn't given Regina a happy ending. It had kept the one woman in any world that could make her happy away. It had kept her away until their son had gone out and dragged Emma into their town, their lives and their hearts.

Emma blinked, her eyes fluttered several times. "Wow!"

Regina nodded, "Yeah, wow.''

Emma leaned in and kissed her. It was a long, sweet and soft kiss.

Emma finally broke their kiss. "So I have one more thing. I have it on good authority you love Hazel McGlory's blueberry and cream velvet cake and I- "

Regina cut her off with another kiss. Yes, she enjoyed the cake, but Emma was sweeter and more wonderful. She wasn't familiar with how dates went, but she knew what she wanted. They had lost too much time. Regina would not waste one more minute.

"Emma.'' Regina whispered. Her lips brushed against Emma's cheek. She felt more connected, more infatuated, more loved, right now than she ever had before. This feeling, this moment, this woman eclipsed everyone else, everything else. "Take me to bed."

Emma wrapped her arms around her. Regina could feel Emma's smile against her cheek. That was the only response she needed.

They stood up, legs and arms tangled together and in their dresses. It was not particularly coordinated or graceful. Regina didn't care. She lead Emma back into the house, through the kitchen, and up the stairs.

She lost her heels somewhere. Emma followed her, staying close enough to wrap her fingers in Regina's hair. She peppered her cheeks, neck, and lips with kisses. When they fumbled to a stop at her bedroom door, the seriousness of the moment settled over them.

"Are you ready?" Emma pressed another kiss to her lips, "because if not- "

Regina pushed her bedroom door open. "Make love to me, Miss Swan."