Another chapter is here!
Enjoy!
"He suffered extensive internal trauma from blunt force," said the doctor, a middle-aged man named Kilmister, as the group arrived in the morgue of Kalm's hospital. He pulled the metal slab out of the cold chamber and peeled back the blanket covering the muscular but slim outline, dispelling whatever doubts they had about the identity of the corpse. His dark hair lay unruly on its perch, eyes opened to reveal that the mako-color had lost its luster.
"The damage done led to internal bleeding from the bones ripping open blood vessels, punctured organs and so on." The doctor shook his head slowly. "It was a miracle that he lasted as long he did, even by SOLDIER standards."
A myriad of emotions roiled in Cloud's chest at the sight of Kunsel's body, making it hard to look at the corpse. He couldn't claim that he knew the man very well, what with how quiet and reserved he seemed to be most of the time. But he had come to respect the former Second-Class during the times that he had been around.
Kunsel had been frank and honest with him the entire time, even when the truth had been unpleasant. His skills with a blade were always a cut above Cloud's, but he didn't hesitate to tell the latter of how strong he could be with enough training. And he always did his best to assist the group out of a friendship that lasted even after death, even when it put his life on the line.
Even when it got him killed by Shinra. The stray thought brought a vivid flash of memories as Cloud recalled that day out in the wastelands, where Zack had met his end. He shifted his gaze to avoid looking at the corpse further and settled it on the others. They all had varying expressions depending on how well they knew him.
Cid had the least interaction with the man, so the best he could manage was the condolence you would offer someone for their loss. The others hadn't had much emotional investment either, but they had respected him for everything he'd done. Even if they hadn't gotten along, he was an ally that they had fought alongside in the face of overwhelming numbers. There was a sense of camaraderie that tied them close enough to him that his loss was one that still stung, and it was a reminder that, despite everything they'd survived to this point, any of them could be next.
Aerith had the most overt reaction, having known him the longest. She was silently holding her hand over her mouth, crystalline tears threatening to leave her eyes anew since she'd woken up. Given that his death had been tied into the rescue of her mother, she was no doubt hit the hardest and was doing her best to hold it in.
As for Crimson… she showed no reaction at all. Her expression betrayed virtually nothing as she stood next to Aerith. It was as if she had locked away her ability to express any sort of emotion as she addressed the well-groomed man standing off to the side, Reeve Tuesti.
"How did you two meet?" she asked.
"In light of what happened to Sector 7, I had been making preparations for dealing with Shinra. I tried to be discreet, but evidently I was drawing enough attention that he figured it out quickly enough while establishing connections of his own." He shook his head slowly. "I am sorry that I was unable to help him in time. My proxy and he were separated in the midst of searching for Elmyra, and by the time I managed to reach where he landed it was too late."
"…His soul returned to the Promised Land without regrets," Aerith said. "So I'll return his body back to the Planet."
She approached Kunsel's corpse, gently closed his eyes, and then set her hands on his temples. The air around the body began to waver until ethereal, pale-green streamers of light began to rise from it. In an instant they were countless in number as they drifted throughout the room like dandelion seeds caught in a breeze, passing through the walls and scattering out into the world, until the body was gone.
The resulting silence that had enveloped the morgue was broken only when Crimson turned to Reeve and asked, "How much did he tell you before all of this happened?"
Reeve stood straight and folded his hands behind his back. "He informed me of everything you've been involved in as far as Sephiroth and Shinra go until the kidnapping. I was also made aware of his contacts and acquaintances to better pool our information network. In light of these circumstances, I will cooperate and give you all the support I can in your endeavors."
"Then we need to decide what to do next. How informed are you of the situation with Heidegger, Hojo, and Midgar at the moment?"
"My proxy hasn't been discovered as of yet and is currently keeping tabs on the situation," Reeve said. "Heidegger has relocated himself to his office in the Shinra Headquarters while Hojo remains underground, in his laboratory. Midgar itself is largely under the thumb of the Deepground forces, but the citizens haven't come under harm as of yet. He's likely securing it before Rufus can properly mobilize all the assets that are available to him and lay siege to reclaim it."
"Then infiltrating it right now will likely be too difficult," Crimson said. "I can't imagine he lost too many of his own forces and he'll likely be guarded by the Tsviets."
Reeve agreed. "Indeed. It may be in our collective best interests to observe how things unfold for now. I've gone ahead and arranged lodgings for everyone. Should the situation change, I will inform you first thing."
"I'll head to my room then and watch the News to see what's happening elsewhere." That said, she turned and briskly walked out of the room without looking back.
"She feels guilty," Aerith said afterwards. "There was unfinished business between her and Kunsel. He wanted to settle things with her and make amends, but he never got the chance to do so. If she's left alone then she'll throw herself into working to avoid feeling anything."
"Sometimes you gotta do what you have to keep goin'. If you stop you won't be able to start again," Barret said to that. "Think I'll go pour one out for the guy and then call Marlene. Been too long since I heard her voice."
"I'll join you for that drink," Cid said, before turning to Aerith while reaching into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. "And you remember what I said in Wutai, right? All of you chose this, including him. If the guy went without regrets, then that's not a bad way to go, so don't go cryin' for the guy and blamin' yourself."
His words weighed heavily on Aerith. Yuffie as well, considering that a pout formed on her face as she sided next to Aerith. She glared at his back as he left out with Barret. "I'm going to go sock that insensitive jerk in the mouth!"
Before she could, Aerith set a hand on her shoulder. "No… he's right."
"But your friend just died and he's telling you not to cry because it makes you sad! It's not right!"
"That wasn't what he intended to convey," Nanaki said, bringing attention to himself from his perch against the wall. "He was a warrior, who fought for a cause. Death had been alongside him the entire time. Though it is regrettable, he died for something he believed in and his memory will live on with us."
Vincent spoke next. "And the ones responsible will be made to pay for it."
"He died knowing that he lived up to a legacy that he wanted to, and did what he set out to," Aerith added last, to round out the conversation. "Most people don't get that much, and their regrets become chains even after death. He was spared from that much at the very end, knowing that he did everything he could and succeeded."
A legacy… Zack's, was it? Cloud ruminated over the thought. To be a hero and protect his honor as SOLDIER were what he considered his legacy. Entrusting them to Cloud in the form of the Buster Sword, did Zack die with no regrets as well?
Was Cloud living up to the honor and dreams Zack cherished? What would he think of allowing his friend to die? The questions only served to make his shoulders feel heavier.
"I'm going to get some air," Aerith announced. "I'll see everyone back in the Inn later."
"Hold on," Reeve said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a PHS. "This PHS is unregistered and has a direct line to my associate, Mister Arkham. He's current escorting Elmyra to a small town known as Mideel, far removed from Shinra's sight to the far south. I believe that you would both do well to speak with one another."
"…Thank you," Aerith said, holding it to her chest.
Cloud watched her leave with the others deciding to give her space, with the exception of Tifa. His friend from their fallen home gave him a look, an unspoken inquiry into whether he was alright or not. She would listen if he needed her to.
"I'm fine," he said. Her lips pressed thin, as though she could see through his attempt to mask his inner turmoil. "Just stick with Aerith. She needs it more."
"She's not the only one who needs someone they can open up to," Tifa said. "Letting it out to someone you trust is sometimes the only way you can move forward. Not bottling it up or running away from it."
Cloud frowned slightly as he lowered his head. That wasn't aimed at him alone. He couldn't think that way after everything Crimson told him in Wutai and what she was doing now.
It… wouldn't end well if she was left alone. But she wouldn't be liable to listen to anyone trying to help her aside from him or Aerith. And it wouldn't be right to put that kind of pressure on the latter while she was still grieving.
"I'll go talk to Crimson once I've thought about what to say," he told her.
[-oOo-]
It took Tifa a good, long while to find Aerith, despite the fact that she had left not even a minute after Aerith had. And even that was only because she noticed the distant flare of orange and somber cry that seemed to ring softly in her ears. Drawn to them like a moth to a flame, she found the last of the Cetra beyond the walls of Kalm, sitting on the ground and comforting a downed Phoenix with its head on her lap.
"You shouldn't go so far out alone," Tifa said, noticing the grass surrounding them were smoldering, tendrils of smoke wafting upwards.
"I didn't want to risk Phoenix scaring someone when I let it out, so I teleported out here to be safe," Aerith said. "It was born because of Kunsel's actions in Fort Condor in a sense, so it imprinted on him. His death left it crying out in its Summoning Materia and I couldn't ignore it."
"I get that, but should you be doing magic after what happened on the island?" Tifa asked. "I mean we don't even know how it works, so if something happened we wouldn't know where you'd gone."
"It's not all that different than how I returned Kunsel's body to the Planet," Aerith said. "I turn the body and mind into spirit energy and then use the Lifestream to transport it through the nearest vein before reassembling them to their natural state. It's only stressful because the current is so great that if I don't shield everyone against it then their spirit energy and consciousness will be scattered by the great flow. But if it's just me alone and I'm rested, I can do short distances without too many problems."
That sounded a lot less safe than she was suggesting, but Tifa brushed it aside to focus on how Aerith's eyes were still wet with fresh tears as Phoenix continued to softly mourn from its perch in her lap. She approached and sat down next to them both. "You want to talk about everything that's happened?"
"I… It hurts," Aerith confessed. "It hurts more than anything since this was the sort of thing I always feared happening. Shinra took away my birth parents, kidnapped my adoptive mother, and they've tried to kill all of you so many times already. Now, in a single day, I lost two people who I've known for years because of them, and I'm still sorting through all of the ghost memories and experiences that have made themselves at home inside of me. It's a lot to take in all at once."
"Yeah, I bet." Tifa set a gentle and reassuring hand on Aerith's as it came to rest. "I can't say that I fully understand all of the magic and Cetra stuff. But I can relate to losing so much in a single day. I know that pain of losing the people you care about, your home, everything."
"I know," Aerith said. "Every one of us has lost so much already, so I don't have the luxury of grieving about my own problems. It would be selfish to spend my time crying when there are so many others around me suffering, and I have to keep going to fulfill my duties as the last of the Cetra."
"I think it's okay to be a little selfish." Tifa moved her hands up to Aerith's shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. "It's okay to cry or shout if you need to let the pain out."
Aerith's lithe body began to tremble, rousing the Phoenix into raising its head. She wrapped her arms around Tifa and began to bawl. "It's not fair… it's not fair, Tifa. Tseng… Kunsel…they shouldn't have died because they were helping me."
"I'm sure neither blamed you for what happened," Tifa assured her.
"I know, but it still hurts." She set her head against the crook between Tifa's head and shoulder as Phoenix stood up and wrapped its wings around them both, offering its support as well. "They still had things they could have done! People they could have met! Memories they could have made! And now they can't!"
"Just let it all out," Tifa said in a soothing tone, holding her close. They remained there like that, kept warm from the night air by the vermillion bird, until Tifa's PHS began to ring. She scowled as she reached for it and found that it was Barret calling.
"Answer it," Aerith insisted as she broke the hug, wiping her tears away and taking a deep, staggering breath to gain control of herself. Her eyes were red from the shed tears, but they looked slightly less burdened than before.
"You sure?" she asked.
Aerith nodded. "It might be important."
[-oOo-]
Crimson sat on her bed, the light stemming from the television largely ignored. She had muted it when she realized that she would learn nothing of what was actually happening in Midgar. That was no doubt media manipulation on Heidegger's behalf, hiding the truth of his takeover as best he could. Rufus would likely make an announcement once he was ready to march on the city, justifying it to the outside world.
Focusing on the information that they learned from Aerith on the way there, compiled on paper with a pen, she drew a line between the immediate threats and facts: Heidegger had Deepground and the Tsviets under his command. Hojo had the Protomateria and knew about Chaos and Omega. Heidegger didn't and believed them to be a weapon of tactical and military importance. Azul now had an inherent barrier…
Thoughts of the Cerulean Tsviet inevitably led to those of Kunsel, leading to a whisper of guilt bubbling up in the back of her mind. It pushed back against her efforts to crush it down, forcing her to dedicate the mental effort needed to go over the facts towards shifting her thoughts in a new direction. Namely that they needed to find a way to take advantage of the situation and reclaim the Protomateria.
That was what was most important—a world-ending threat on par with Meteor and Sephiroth. Not Kunsel. Not the fact that they killed him. Not anything relevant beyond what was on the list in front of her.
"Just bottle it away and focus on the task at hand, everything else comes afterwards," she told herself as she set down the pen and placed her hands on her ears, as if hoping to drown out the inner voice that was thick in accusation. She recited it over and over, smothering all the thoughts relevant to the fallen until the door opened. It was Cloud.
She removed her hands from her ears and stood up. "Is something wrong?"
"Can we talk for a bit?" he asked.
"If it's about Kunsel, right now it's better to focus on the civil war between Shinra and Deepground, and getting the Protomateria back."
"That's…" He trailed off for a moment, reconsidering what it was that he wanted to say. "That is important, but I get the feeling that you're walling yourself off rather than trying to deal with it."
"I'm just… prioritizing things," she reasoned. "Once everything is over… once we've dealt with Shinra and Sephiroth… then I'll deal with it."
"But when will that day come?" Cloud asked. "There's always a setback or battle to be fought for us, and there's no telling when we'll reach the end. Tomorrow? Next week? Next year? What'll happen if another one of us falls in battle before then?"
Crimson's lips pursed at that. He was right and she knew it as well, given her earlier discussions and her plans. "Even so, what good will talking about it do? There's nothing I can do to change what's happened. Believe me when I say that I thought about it a lot on the way here."
Maybe things would have changed if they'd killed Azul earlier. Or maybe if they'd stopped the Protomateria from being taken by Rosso in the first place. Or if they'd insisted that Elmyra go into hiding before it got to that point. But they didn't and he was dead.
"But there's more to it than that, isn't there?" Cloud stepped closer to her. "Aerith said that you had unfinished business with him. That you felt guilty because of it."
She tensed as he hit the nail on the head. Sure, Kunsel helped them because he believed that they were doing the right thing, and wanted to help Aerith and Cloud out. But there were no casual conversations after their argument in Cosmo Canyon, and she never did follow-up with her promise of owing him a drink the last time they were in Kalm. It was such a small thing, but it carried such a huge weight now.
"That was my fault." All because she wanted to deny what he was saying was right. And while she finally did accept that it was a part of the reason she acted how she did, Crimson never told him that she was in the wrong for what she'd done. "He had every right to be mad."
"But he wasn't anymore," Cloud said, taking another step closer. "Aerith said that he wanted to patch things between you, but he didn't get the chance. That got me thinking about how you said that you wanted to be more open with other people back in Wutai. Since tomorrow isn't promised to any of us, it's best to do so while you can."
Crimson closed her eyes tightly and balled her fists. She wanted to end the conversation there, to put it off until later. But that would be no different than what she'd done before with Kunsel. She'd put off apologizing for one reason or another, and now she never could.
Cloud reached out for her, setting his hands on her shoulders. "Kunsel once told me that you should accept what's happened and push on, so that it doesn't weigh you down. But to do that, you can't just hide it away and say that you'll settle some day. You should speak your mind so that you don't have regrets, and who better to start with than someone willing to listen?"
"…Fine," she said, a hitch in her voice that sound strained. "I feel like it's my fault. If I hadn't lied to him to save face, then maybe something would have changed down the line. Maybe I would have been able to convince him to do something differently, or at the very least, I wouldn't feel this weight in my chest of what could have been."
Her eyes began to sting now, so she brought her hands up to cover them. "But now I can't tell him that or make up with him. And it makes me so mad that I was denied the chance to do that—mad at Azul for killing him, mad at Heidegger for kidnapping Aerith's mother, mad at Shinra for everything they've done… and mad at myself for my part in it all and not doing what I could sooner."
She pressed her head against his broad chest and reached around his frame, leaving her fingers at his back. "Cloud, it feels like too much to handle if I don't bottle it away."
"Then don't try to bear with it alone," he said, carefully wrapping his arms around her back as well. "Like I said in the Gold Saucer last night, I'll listen to you whenever you need me to. So you don't have to bottle it up. Will you do the same for me?"
"Of course." She wiped her eyes before looking into his. The color reminded her of both Zack and Kunsel, but she didn't look away. "Say whatever you need to and I'll listen."
"I was supposed to be Zack's living legacy, and Kunsel believed in me to carry that out," Cloud continued. "Until now, I've been uncertain about how to do that, and how they would. The best way I can think of is to fight and be the hero that they believed I could be. So I want to tell you how I feel, so I don't have any regrets myself if I meet the same end."
Her heart skipped a beat in her chest at that. "You don't have to—" Her PHS started ringing. "We should probably get that. Save it for later?"
"I want to finish before something else pops up," he insisted. "Since the beginning, you gave up everything to keep me safe. Even when it pitted you against the people you worked alongside and put you in danger. When I thought I was someone else and acted in their name, you were the one who strived to keep me from doing something I would regret when the truth came out. You've tried to help me find myself afterwards, and hide things that you think would have upset me."
"I… I told you that's because when I'm with you, I feel like I can become a better person," she said, ignoring the phone as it continued to ring. "You gave me a second chance, so it's natural for me to feel this way. But you don't have to feel obligated because of it."
"It's not an obligation," Cloud said. "To me, you've become someone that I don't want to lose. Someone I care about and want to protect. I want to stay by your side and see you become the sort of person that you want to be, no matter how long it takes. And I want you to see me become the sort of person who can live up to their legacy. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
… It was too much for her to take all at once. The grief, the guilt, the feeling welling in her chest at his answer—they overwhelmed the former Turk all at once. Unable to control it, she let her body react on its own accord and found herself crying in his arms, even though she hated the thought of him seeing her so vulnerable.
For his part, Cloud simply held her tight against him as the bottled up feelings expressed themselves… right up until they heard the door burst open. It was Yuffie.
"Why aren't you answering your PHS—" Yuffie paused mid-rant when she noticed them close together. "—ooohhhhh… I probably should have knocked, huh?"
Crimson turned her head away from the girl as she pulled away from Cloud's embrace. Being vulnerable in front of Cloud or Aerith was one thing, but it was another for the others. "Why are you here, Yuffie?"
"Uh, I guess you were distracted so you weren't paying attention to the News." She pointed over to the television that had been muted. "Something big has happened. A massive information leak on all the bad stuff Shinra's been doing."
"What?" Crimson turned her attention to the television where the blue banner at the bottom stated 'Shinra's Dark Secrets Revealed!' in white letters. She grabbed the remote and un-muted the television.
"—as more information arrives by the second on the unethical human experiments carried out by the Shinra Electric Power Company, preliminary investigations cross-referencing missing person reports have resulted in several matches being discovered so far. This, combined with evidence of espionage, corporate sabotage, and assassinations, including the sanctioned destruction of Midgar's Sector 7 Plate, has revealed that the company's rise to power has been—"
"How did this happen?" Crimson asked, utterly stumped at the report. An information leak of this scale was a nightmare of unbridled proportions for a number of reasons. "Who did this? Did they cite a source?"
Yuffie delivered the answer to that with just a note of hesitation. "…They said earlier that the group claiming responsibility for the leak is AVALANCHE."