Updated August 14, 2020. This story is discontinued.
New Story is called a Motion of Space
It was a Wednesday when he lost track of time. It didn't happen regularly, but there were times where he just blanked out, well not exactly blanked out. More like times where he just did things without realizing he did them. Times where he just wandered aimlessly and forgot about what he had done. Yeah, that's it.
He had been doing his homework, trying to do his homework. But then, he found himself outside in the rain, drenched and shivering, with no idea how he had gotten there. He hadn't even known it was going to rain.
Of course he was upset with himself, because the pills were supposed to be helping with that problem too. He didn't want Darry and Soda working more hours to be able to pay off new medication. They already were out of the house almost all day.
When Darry asked, he lied. Right to his face. And he didn't feel a little bit sorry about it. After all, he had been lying to himself too.
Darry was sitting in his recliner, a newspaper beside him. Sodapop was nowhere in sight, like always. He didn't even know why he bothered anymore.
As soon as Pony cracked open the door, Darry was standing up. Worry and anger etched all over his face.
"Pony, where've you been? Curfew was hours ago." Darry said sternly, crossing his arms. "Are you okay?" He looked at Pony closely. "Did you walk out like that in the rain?"
Hours?
Pony shook himself out of his daze and he only smiled. He slipped off his shirt. "Never been better," he said too enthusiastically. He recoiled at his voice, and started over. "I just went out to run and the rain caught me. I thought it was going to go away but I guessed time passes when you have fun dancing in the rain."
Don't ask me what I mean, don't ask me what I mean . . .
"Did you finish your homework before you went out?"
Thank god.
"Yeah . . . I think so . . . " He looked around. Where had he been doing homework again?
Darry raised an eyebrow. "And dancing in the rain? Are you sure you're okay?" He laughed out a little forcefully. "I didn't know you were getting all poetic on me."
"That was an expression. I meant just like smelling the rain. Getting soaked. Enjoying the moment." He cleared up and ran a hand through his hair. "I just wanted to take a break."
Darry sighed and sat down. "Okay. Okay." He seemed out of breath. "But next time tell me when you're going out okay? I was real worried. I can't really ask anyone to go with you . . . " His voice trailed off.
I wonder how Two-Bit is doing . . . and Steve . . .
Pony smiled again, but this time, less enthusiastically. "Thanks Darry. Sorry." He picked up his shirt and looked into the kitchen. "Oh and do you know if Soda's home?"
Darry paused a second, before he shook his head. "I'm not sure little buddy. But we can trust him to come back when he wants to right? I just got here too."
Pony nodded. "Okay, I'll get ready to go to bed I guess."
Ponyboy just wanted to take a quick shower and go to sleep. He was too tired to even care that he hadn't eaten. Had I eaten? Darry didn't seem to notice either, so he probably wouldn't be forced to eat.
Ponyboy slowly walked up the stairs to find that Soda's door was shut and there was a small light coming from beneath it. He was making his way to his own room when Darry called out.
"Did you take your pills yet?"
Pony spun around and headed back downstairs.
Of course he hadn't.
I wonder if Sodapop is sleeping . . .
o-o-o
The pain was more unbearable that Thursday. Thank god there was only one more day till Friday. Otherwise he would have to skip, and the last time he had, it hadn't ended well. Darry had allowed him to slide, accompanied by a few threats.
Maybe it was because he hadn't slept so well the few past days. But either way, being thrown against the lockers was always painful.
Ponyboy groaned and shut his eyes, trying to ignore the jabbing sensation that stung his back. Trying to ignore the fact that the teachers had completely disappeared once again when he was in trouble. Again. He should have really tried to immediately go outside after classes instead of lingering.
"Maybe that'll teach you not to kill one of our kind greaser." One of his attackers spat. He felt the spit land square on his forehead. Ew.
It happened so long ago . . . I don't know why they still bother . . .
Another kick to the stomach and that was it. They left.
If Pony had slept better and had enough strength he would've fought back, but he couldn't. After all, the bruises in his knuckles still hadn't faded from last time.
Ponyboy looked around for his stuff. They had disappeared again, along with his backpack. He wouldn't be mentioning it to Darry . . .
He turned around and grabbed a lock that dangled from his locker. It didn't matter if it was flipped. At least it helped him to get up.
He brushed himself off and rubbed his back. He could relax at home.
o-o-o
Ponyboy got back home pretty quickly. Running helped him calm down, but so did smoking, but so did a lot of other things recently.
But smoking had been a long time ago.
He didn't smoke much anymore, actually he didn't smoke. He was afraid of what would happen if his house caught fire. He didn't want to repeat the events of what had happened in Windrixville. He could still see Johnny's face . . .
Pony shook his head slowly. Stop. Don't remember . . .
Money was a problem too. Cancer sticks cost too much when he actually thought about it.
He would occasionally bite his nails or chew gum or do something like tapping his feet to ease the nerves. It would work at times, but a lot of those times, he would go through packs of gum. He really didn't like gum, but it kept him busy. It kept his mind off of what was bothering him. And he really had to stop with the nail chewing habit too.
Ponyboy took off his shoes and walked to his room, plopping another piece of gum in his mouth.
School was ending soon too. Everyday was getting closer and closer to June. And it was getting closer and closer to another month's anniversary of Johnny and Dally's death.
Pony closed his eyes and focused on the sounds of chewing gum. Don't remember. Stop thinking. Stop doing this to yourself. He chewed louder.
He sighed. The house was silent.
I wonder if Soda is home already . . .
"Hey Sodapop!"
No answer. So either he was home and not answering or he wasn't home. You could never be too sure.
Pony glanced at Soda's shut door. He walked right past it and shut his own door and tossed his clothes into the laundry. He put on more comfortable clothes.
"Okay Ponyboy, you can do this." He got down onto the floor and got into pushup position. "Last time you did fifty. Today you can do fiftyfive. Going up by five's each time is the way . . . "
It wasn't long until he was wheezing. He only made it to twenty before he grew completely exhausted.
Darry had once mentioned that by doing pushups, it helped gain muscle strength. It sure did help him when Socs would want to get into fights.
He crawled into bed, not caring that he was sweaty.
He would need to take some Advil for his back.
o-o-o
Pony was staring at the empty seat across from him.
"Did Soda already eat?"
Darry turned around. He was washing dishes at the sink. "Yeah, we didn't want to wake you up. You've been looking tired these past few days."
"Okay." He said and took a small spoonful of soup.
Man, the one day where Soda had actually eaten dinner at home, he'd fallen asleep. Pony pinched himself. You didn't even finish your pushups.
He took another spoonful. "Hey Darry?"
"Yeah?"
"How old were you when you started to shave?" Pony asked and shoved another mouthful in his mouth.
"I was really young. Don't really remember. Around . . . 14 maybe?"
"Do you think I'll be shaving soon?"
Darry turned off the water. "Maybe. I mean you've already grown a bit more. Almost as tall as Soda now." He laughed. "I see that you even got more muscles. Or is it just me?"
Pony blushed and put down his spoon. "What?"
"I hope you've been taking my advice? Pushups? Pullups? Or something else?"
Pony smiled to hide his blush. Darry noticed. "Uh, pushups."
Darry walked up to him and clapped him on the back. "Good for you. You're growing so quickly. I remember when I was younger-"
Pony stood up and stepped back. "Please don't tell me you're going to give me The Talk."
Darry laughed again. "Don't worry. That probably won't happen for a while. You still have time."
Pony exhaled. "Thank god."
That night Ponyboy looked at himself in the mirror. He flexed a bit and realized that he had in fact had more muscles and they were clearly noticeable. And his hair was longer. And the fact that he had indeed grown about an inch or two. How had he not noticed all of this? Only last year he had been looking everyday for these signs.
His throat seized up.
Well of course it had been last year. He didn't have anything else to worry about.
He closed the door to the bathroom and climbed the steps quietly.
You could say that it was strange. Usually when he dreamt, he dreamt of the fire or of Johnny or Dally. And sometimes he dreamed about how everyone in the gang had changed. But not Darry. Well he had. No, it was Ponyboy who had changed when he thought about it.
Ponyboy listened to Darry more and understood that everything he had done was for was his family.
He covered his head with his blanket and as soon as he took a smooth deep breath he was asleep.
o-o-o
Ponyboy stood in front of a tree. And that itself was was weird, because the tree he was seeing was huge. He had never seen a tree so big, so old looking. Not to mention it was white. But that didn't really fascinate him.
There was a little boy there. He was sitting on one of it's many branches.
Pony walked right up to the boy.
"What's your name?" He asked.
The little boy smiled, but he didn't answer. Well, at least not with his mouth. His lips didn't move.
My name is Logan.
It didn't seem strange to Pony that he could hear the boy in his mind. He acted like it was nothing.
"Logan, where am I? What am I doing here?"
Logan's smile faded. He hopped down from the tree.
He looked smaller than Pony had thought.
My physical stature is small. But that doesn't make me naive.
"Sorry," Pony smiled sheepishly.
Logan didn't acknowledge his apology. Instead, he walked right up to Pony and grabbed his hand.
Follow me.
It was peaceful and quiet and serene. There was this soft wind blowing and the sun's rays made him feel good. There were also a lot of trees, but none of them looked like the old one.
Pony was walking. He hadn't asked any questions and even though he didn't' know where he was going, he kept holding Logan's hand.
Suddenly Logan stopped.
What would you do, if I gave you one wish?
"What?" Pony asked.
What would you do, if I gave you a wish?
Pony stopped and let go of Logan's hand gently."What would I do, if I actually had a wish?"
Logan nodded. Yes. Now what would you choose? Riches? Wealth? Wisdom? Some sort of power? I would wish for a thousand wishes, but you can't do that. It's not allowed.
"Oh, okay . . . "
Pony closed his eyes. Hmmm . . . what did he really want? He envisioned the car he had always wanted; the one the Socs always drove. Then imagined himself graduating college. Maybe a dog would do. Or maybe a new pair of shoes, yeah he need them.
You know you can make any wish right? You can wish for anything.
Pony nodded and opened his eyes. "I know. It's just that I'm trying to be realistic here, because this is a dream. Maybe I can work hard enough and get myself a car. No, new shoes are a closer goal."
Logan grabbed into Pony's pant leg.
No. You're not understanding me. You can wish for anything. Like in movies.
Pony smiled. "Thank you, for encouraging me. But this is just a dream. I can't really wish to be a millionaire and get it. I can't wish for dinosaurs to suddenly appear. I can't wish for my dead friends to come back to life."
The little boy smiled sweetly.
But you can.
Pony gasped. "You can make dinosaurs come back to life?"
Logan smiled.
Yeah I can do that. But I can also brings back your friends.
Pony's eyes narrowed and he kindly let go of the little boy's hand. He couldn't help but feel an empty hole in his chest.
"No, I can't. This is just a dream. It's stupid. Can I wake up now?"
He was starting to get irritated and he wanted to leave.
You can wish for that. The little boy insisted. You can!
Pony took a step back. "No I can't, now leave me alone."
The little boy followed him. Would you like that to be your wish? For them to be alive?
Pony turned around, his back facing the Logan.
"I can't believe you're talking like this. They're dead. You can't bring them back! I want to wake up now."
Logan reached into his shorts and pulled out a small silver stone.
This is for you. Keep it safe and I'll be waiting on your wish okay? I see you tomorrow. Bye
o-o-o
Just like that, once Logan had said bye, Ponyboy had woken up, the light shining right in his face and something in his hand.
He swallowed, remembering his dream. Real panic was starting to set it.
No, it was just a dream. It can't be . . .
If he found that thing is his palm, he would freak out. If he opened his palm and there was something in it, he would go crazy. It couldn't happen, it didn't happen, it couldn't happen . . .
He slowly and steadily when he opened his palm. And there lay the exact same silver rock Logan had given him.
Pony closed his eyes, breathed in as steadily as he could, and threw up.