35.
"You call that a heart?" Laughed Helga as she and Arnold sat on the floor of his room, cutting cute things out of glittery construction paper.
"It's a heart! Look at it! This isn't not a heart, Helga!" Arnold was laughing too as he held up his project. It was heart shaped, but no one would call it a good heart. Helga laughed harder.
"Ahh! No - it's soooo ugly. Don't you care about Gerald and Phoebe?"
"If this is the straw that breaks it all - there are other issues," he said as she stood up, throwing the heart at Helga. "I'm gonna go get some snacks - get away from all this abuse."
"You're fine, you big baby!" Helga crumpled up the misshapen heart dramatically and chucked at the back of Arnold's head as he moved toward the door.
"Hey!" He turned around and saw the paper ball on the floor. "MY HEART! How could you!?" He was emphatic and loud and Helga laughed big. Arnold laughed along, watching her smile crinkle her eyes.
"Go get me snacks!" Helga beckoned when Arnold hadn't moved on. He threw a hand over his shoulder as he turned and went.
Helga was now alone in his room. She looked around at the deep blue walls, covered in pictures and paintings and gadgets. The air even smelled like him. The girl sat there, as she had so many times before in more clandestine situations, and she gazed around at every small detail. The cork board over Arnold's desk had mementos and photos from most of his life - old cheese festival tickets, programs from the opera house, a letter in careful cursive inviting him to a nice french dinner, an old picture of his parents. Hooks hung heavy with shirts and jackets on the outside of the closet door. The shelf next to his bed held One too Many, the book she had lent him. A bookmark was nestled between the pages. He's reading it, she thought.
Without noticing, Helga had gotten to her feet, crawled onto his bed, and was reaching for one of the journals when she heard Arnold coming up the stairs. Helga jumped up as Arnold said "There was only one Yahoo - so you can have it."
Helga threw herself to the ground with a heavy thud!
"Oh my god, you ok?" Arnold came through the door to find Helga sprawled on the floor, one hand under her head.
"Yep, I'm fine!" He gave her a side long look and sat down with one Yahoo, a large bag of chips and a plate of mold green macrons.
"Ok sure -"
"You tryin to poison me?" Helga asked, looking at the cookies.
"Ha - no. The cookies are good. Grandma says their moss flavored, but it's just pistachio filling." He sat crossed legged and picked the scissors up again. "Before I forget, send me the audio file of Phoebe. I can work on the - uh - what are we calling it?"
"It's like a soundscape."
"Great - I got some good stuff out of Gerald. So I'm feeling good."
"Boss. I got hours outta Phoebe! You got your work cut out for ya."
"Sounds like it's gonna be a long night," Arnold said. Helga opened the last remaining Yahoo and took a large swig. Arnold took a bite of the moss cookie and started choking wildly. Helga thumped him on the back hard and handed him her soda. He took a quick drink and finally gasped. "Ok, maybe they are moss. Blech - don't eat the cookies." He took another sip of the soda and handed it back to Helga.
That youthful voice in Helga's head was screaming! Oh my love has drunk from my bottle. His lips have touched where mine have touched. If I drink from this - it will be my own secret kiss. Helga shook her head to quiet her mind. I'm definitely keeping this bottle, she thought as she took another sip. She set the bottle between them, allowing them to share the rest of it.
They went on curling ribbons and printing pictures and cutting out hearts until they had a large pile of oversized confetti. When they put it all up, it would look great - but right now it looked like a valentine's card barfed all over Arnold's room.
Around 10pm Helga stood up and stretched.
"Ahh - well, I should probably get going if I'm gonna get that room decorated tonight." Arnold was already at his computer, getting the beginnings of the soundscape set down. He turned around sharply.
"What? You're going tonight?"
"Well - yeah - " Helga was surprised.
"I thought we were doing that tomorrow."
"No way - the school will be swarming with homecoming busybodies all day while they decorate. Plus, I promised Pheebs we'd do a little girls' day before the dance - so - gotta do it tonight."
"Well, I'll go with you." Arnold said, taking his headphones off and standing up.
"No - it's fine. You make sounds and stuff- I got this."
"You can't break into the school alone, Helga."
"Sure I can - Sal promised to leave a door open for me."
"Of course he did." He said, putting his shoes on. "It's late - just let me go with you."
"Arnoldo! Stop! I'm fine, I'm a big girl." She gave him a little shove, knocking him off balance.
"You can't -" he choked, trying to regain his balance. But Helga wrapped an arm around his neck and started roughly messing his hair with her knuckles - a noogie if you will.
"You're such a goody-goody!"
"Get off of me, Helga!" He slapped at her legs and hips, trying to pry himself free. They were both laughing, but the push and pull was becoming more reckless, each trying to regain or maintain power. Finally, Arnold wrapped both arms around Helga's hips and twisted his weight around so they both came crashing to the ground in a heap. They laughed and sighed and continued to slap at each other. They fumbled around, still not giving up, maybe each relishing the contact more than they'd let on. One rolled over and over the other until - THUNK!
"Ow!" Helga said as her head smacked the base of Arnold's hide-a-couch. She furrowed her brow but she was laughing heartily. All the fight had gone out of her. Arnold popped up on an elbow next to her and leaned over close to hold her head.
"Oh no, are you ok?" Arnold looked worried, then looked embarrassed, but he didn't move away. Helga's laugh died away and she just stared back - her smile fading only a little.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I-I've got a hard head."
"Right," Arnold chuckled softly. His mind raced back to last weekend - which felt so far away now - holding Helga's head and looking at her pupils. He stared back at her eyes now too - but he was more distracted by the icy blue of her irises.
Arnold's gaze shifted to the reddish bruise still visible, though healing, under her right eye. He brought his thumb to its edge.
"Your bruise is looking good."
"Oh - heh - yeah."
"I heard today that Dustin got the worst of the fight." He said with a smile. Helga's eyes widened, the spell broken, and she pushed him gently as she sat up. They shifted and rested against the couch.
"What? I don't know - "
"Lila told me - by way of Brainy - that you didn't get that bruise in the ring." Helga rolled her eyes, looking away. Arnold shifted his weight to bounce his shoulder into hers.
"Fucking, Lila." Helga said.
"Why'd you do it?" Arnold asked - wondering if she would say for him. Did he want her to?
"Hey I take any opportunity to sock Dustin - so - " Helga looked at her hands, boasting a little, avoiding for sure. Arnold would take it as a confession.
"Yeah… fair enough." He decided to let it be enough. "Will you please let me drive you to the school?"
"No," she said, standing up. For a moment he thought she was mad, but when she turned around he found a kind look on her face. "Seriously, football head. I'll be fine. I love a nightwalk."
She went around collecting her things and putting all the decorations in the shopping bag from earlier. She also quietly slipped their shared bottle into her bag - an offering to the voice in her head.
Arnold stood and watched her get ready to leave. As she bent over to collect all the decorations, Arnold averted his gaze - in respect or something? He wasn't sure. He did have another question he was going to ask her - what was it - think think - don't be distracted by -
"Oh hey - what color is your dress?"
"Oh my god," Helga said standing up. "Why does it matter?"
"Cuz I want to match you!" Arnold said excitedly.
"Ha - why? It's not like we can actually - like officially go together - with the plan and everything." Helga was trying hard not to blush.
"Well - I mean - if the plan works - we could. I mean, at that point we will all be there together. You know - as friends!" Arnold was rambling. He wanted to dress as Helga's date - because, well, he thought that was the plan. But the less she agreed, the more it felt like they weren't dates. Did she just want to go as friends? Did she just want to be friends?
Helga looked at him again. An uncertain look on her face. "Yeah - as friends. Sure." She met his eyes and said, "It's pink."
"Of course," he said with a smile. "I can't wait to see it."
"... Well - " she popped out of the trance. "I'll see you tomorrow football head!"
"Ok, but," He scrambled to his feet. "Will you just text me when you get home, so I know you're - safe, or whatever?" They were both thudding down the stairs and headed to the front door.
"Aww how cute - you worried about little old me?" She joked.
"Helga - really. I just want to know you got home ok."
"Yeah - I'll text you."
"Or if you want a ride home - I'll be up."
At the front door Helga stopped and looked at him. His hair was still ruffled and out of place - one strand hanging down near his eye. She reached out and smoothed it back, briefly running a hand through his hair. He was surprised by the touch - it sent a little electric wave through his jaw.
Finally, she said, "Yeah - I'll let you know. I'll see you tomorrow." And with that, she turned and trotted down the stoop stairs and went on her way.
Arnold watched her go for a while before closing the door. He couldn't help but feel that he did something wrong as a pit formed in his stomach. When he dreamt later that night though, he lingered in their position on the floor forever, just looking at each other.
As Helga walked away, she argued with herself over Arnold's use of the word friends. It was an unpleasant fight. A long night.
By 2AM Helga had made a shabby classroom look pretty damn romantic. Tape and glitter and ribbon really can work wonders.
She stepped out into the cool October night and felt very alone. It was at once peaceful and lonely. She found the only way to work through the knot in her brain - she had to speak it out loud. The night air will listen, the night walk will help.
"Sure - he said 'as friends' like the friend group. Did that hurt? Yes - it did. I mean, we've been - close? Is that the word? We have been - well - like friends. Maybe we are just friends… it is better than arch enemies. Much better."
OK! So, maybe we are JUST FRIENDS! Maybe he only asked me to the dance because he felt sorry for me. Maybe it really is all about being with Phoebe and Gerald and making everything better. He is such a saint - it wouldn't surprise me…"
BUT! He said he had been thinking of asking me!"
He thinks about me." Helga had walked a few blocks, trying to crunch every leaf underfoot as she went. "He thinks about me and that's something." Her heart fluttered involuntarily.
"Maybe I do what I told Phoebe after all. I will use the dance to - to - to tell him something. Yeah! Something! Because for the first time EVER, I think I might - maybe - be able to ask him to dinner - on a date - and he might actually say yes."
God I think I'm gonna be sick. Get it together, Helga Ol' Girl. Come on. I'm not out of the game - not yet. UGH! I need a cigarette." She reached for her pack and found her back pocket empty. "COME ON!" Helga shouted as she rifled through all pockets then her bag and back to her pockets. Then she remembered, with a sinking heart, they were still in Arnold's room - on his desk. She had taken them out of her pocket so as not to crush them. "Fuck." With that, Helga resigned to walk home in the silence of the night, trying not to think about Arnold or cigarettes.
She got home, unlocked the door to a sleeping house. A house where no one had spared a thought her way before passing out. Helga closed the door behind her and pulled out her phone.
Hey - I'm home. She texted Arnold. The moment it was delivered she saw he was typing.
Oh good. I didn't want to go to sleep till I knew you were home safe. Helga stared at the words for a long time. He thinks about me. She thought.
She headed up to her room and texted him back. They went back and forth about nothing and anything for another hour or so - until they fell asleep mid conversation.