36.

Saturday - the day of the dance. It had finally arrived.

Helga woke up in the late morning to several texts from Phoebe.

When are you coming over?

Mother has made French Toast.

Are you awake yet?

Pizza for lunch.

Helga was definitely hungry, so she packed up her dress, some makeup stuffs, her shoes, and a change of clothes. She would shower at Phoebe's. She headed out the door.

"Oh Helga," Miriam's voice warbled from the kitchen as Helga was walking out.

"What, Miriam?" Helga stopped.

"Wh-where are you going? It's Saturday - you don't have school, right?" Miriam had the unmistakable sound of bloody mary on her voice. To throw her for a loop - Helga chose chaos.

"It's Wednesday, Miriam." And she slammed the door.

"WHAT?" Could be heard just enough to make Helga smile. Just then, she got a text.

Audio File

Here's the Soundscape. I'm gonna head over soon to set it up. Which room was it again?

Helga couldn't help but smile wider and she texted back.

Dope. I'll listen now - walking to Phoebe's. It's room 143. She popped in her headphones and pressed play on the file. A sweet music filled her ears, soon followed by the voices of their friends. It sounded great. This might actually work.

Thanks! Let Phase 4 Begin! Arnold replied. Helga was about to put her phone away, when another message came through.

Can't wait to see the dress! Have fun with Phoebe! He really is the best, isn't he?

Helga got to Phoebe's just in time for Pizza. Kyo welcomed her warmly, giving her shoulders a familiar squeeze. Reba and Kyo had seen an improvement in Phoebe's demeanor over the last two evenings - they knew Helga had something to do with it.

At the end of a filling lunch of pizza and a seasonal salad, Phoebe turned to Helga and said, "Are you ready for pedicures and a Zearna Soldier Queen Marathon?"

"Absolutely!" The girls dashed upstairs in a happy stampede.

They spent the afternoon painting their nails and watching campy tv and chatting about how Helga is going to ask Arnold to dance.

"Well, maybe you can say there are ants on you and you need his help to get them off of you!" Phoebe squeaked another one of many rejected and increasingly more ridiculous ideas.

Helga laughed - knowing it was mostly a joke - though no more ridiculous than any of the other shit they had pulled in the past.

After showers and hair drying and throwing glitter at Helga's cheeks, Phoebe forced Helga to the floor so she could do her hair.

"I - uh -" Phoebe started, looking sheepish while pinning strands in place.

"What?" Asked Helga, looking at her friend through the mirror before them.

"I texted Gerald yesterday," She said.

"Really?"

"Yeah - I asked him if we could talk tomorrow. Have breakfast at Hubie's," she finished.

"That's great, Pheebs." Helga said gently. "What are you gonna say?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now - but know that I feel good about it." Phoebe gripped her shoulders a little. "I just wanted to let you know. You helped me get there."

"Ok, whatever you want." Then Helga winced as Phoebe slipped and stabbed her hard with a bobbie pin.

"SORRY!"

Time ticked by. At 6:50PM, while the girls donned lipstick and straightened each other's dresses, Gerald was ditching his tie. If he was just taking pictures he wasn't going to bother with a tie or a jacket for that matter. He texted Arnold.

When are you picking me up?

Arnold was pulling out a new pink button up shirt he picked up on his way back from the school. He held it up and smiled at himself in the mirror. I hope this is a good match. Then he picked up his phone.

I'll be there in 30 minutes.

Arnold then texted Helga hastily.

Hey - The room looks great! Probably gonna get to the school in about 35 minutes.

Helga was looking at herself in the mirror when Phoebe chirped, "Oh my god! Arnold just texted you!" Helga's heart dropped into her butt. She darted for her phone before Phoebe could type in her passcode. Luckily Helga doesn't have her texts previewed on her lock screen.

Helga buried her nose behind the screen and quickly texted back.

Great - we are about to leave Phoebe's.

"What did he say?" Phoebe was practically jumping with anticipation. Her midnight blue dress swished and swayed around her knees. Phoebe was pulling at the top to keep it in place.

"Oh - nothing. He just asked if I'd seen his - uh -" Helga hadn't finished the lie before she started. "Uh - his - uh - PIG!"

"Oh my goodness, is Abner missing?" Phoebe looked shocked and concerned now - also, thoroughly distracted.

"Uh - ha - Yeah! But he's uh not too worried. He just - uh saw him come this direction." Helga was sweating a little bit.

"He knows you're over here?" Phoebe asked, interested.

"Ah - no. Toward my house- I mean. So…" She just trailed off.

"Ok - that's too bad." Phoebe squinted.

"Why?" Helga asked sharply.

"Well, if Abner is missing, will he still be going to the dance?" She said, concerned. Helga was starting to think of additional lies that would have made no sense when her phone buzzed - by the grace of god.

Great! So we shouldn't cross paths. See you soon!

"Ope - False alarm. He found him in the dumpster - so all good."

"Oh good!" Phoebe snatched up her pocketbook containing her phone and her lipstick. "Then - Let's kick it!"

37.

The dance started at 7pm. If the girls got there early, the boys would miss them on their way in. If they could only keep them apart, the secret will be kept and the plan will be on track.

But of course, as Helga and Phoebe came down to go, Kyo and Reba were waiting, cameras at the ready! So they left 27 minutes later than Helga meant them to. They stumbled out the door, Phoebe laughing at her parents, having a good time. But Helga pushed and rushed her along to the car, Kyo following behind them, ready to drive them to the school.

"Heh-heh - yep so fun! Let's go! Don't wanna be late!"

"Oh calm yourself, Helga. Arnold won't go anywhere!"

"Oh-ho - so this about young Mr. Shortman then?" Kyo laughed from the front seat. Helga could only grumble her vague agreement, so as not to blow her cover with frustration.

As they drove up to the school, the bland city building was alive with the rainbow of dresses and bright suits and fancy lights shining on the brick.

They could see Rhonda smacking Sid away from her, apparently afraid his grubby hands would ruin her gown. There was Katinka running from two boys up the steps in a black dress. A gaggle of girls were taking selfies in front of the homecoming sign and their dates could be seen off to the side, punching at each other.

Helga was looking around feverishly for Arnold and Gerald, hoping they beat them to the scene. So far so good. Kyo pulled up to the front and said, "Have a great time tonight, girls!"

"Is there a curfew, Father?" Phoebe asked before opening the door.

"No I don't think so - just text us where you end up, ok?"

"Of course!" Phoebe leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek and then bounded out the door. "Come along, Ell-ga!" Phoebe offered her hand to help Helga out of the car.

"Why thank you Foe-be." She said as she slid.

On the other side of the school, Arnold and Gerald were parking the Packard. Arnold was certain that the girls would already be inside, so he wasn't really on the lookout.

"Ok when we get inside, I'll run down to the journalism room to pick up the cameras." Arnold said, not for the first time that night.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, man! I know." Gerald rolled his eyes.

They came in past the selfie takers and the secret drinkers and the wallflowers who looked around in a jealous kind of disgust. Gerald was annoyed at all the excess and noise. He approached the gym, which was heavily decorated for the occasion.

There was iridescent mylar absolutely everywhere. It hung from the ceiling in bows and swags and streamers. It hung from the walls with fairy lights and big sparkly letters spelling out "HOMECOMING". There were round tables with draped chairs all around the edge of the room, each with a sparkling tablecloth and fake white, sparkly flowers at the center. And at the back of the room, on an elevated stage was none other than their old Principal Wartz MCing for the night alongside a young fluffy haired dj who wore sunglasses - despite the dim lights.

"Children - I mean, Ladies and Gentlemen, we are still accepting votes for the Homecoming King and Queen - so be sure to make your voice heard! Oh Democracy with determine the Monarchy! The Royalty will be crowned at 8:30PM sharp!" He wore a ruffled tuxedo shirt and powder blue suit. He fit in with the decor, just another flash of white and blue in the light, drowned out by the music, dancing and laughing.

As Gerald observed the crowd, he spotted a glare of pink. And if it wasn't Helga. What was she doing here? Looking all dolled up too. Was she here with someone? Gerald's mind was racing, thinking about Arnold and wondering what the hell was going on. He took off toward her.

He had to admit she cleaned up good - Arnold was gonna go all goofy. She was in a lightly sparkling pink dress that fit to Helga's form in a structured cut down to her calves. There was a long slit up her right leg, ending high on her thigh. He could practically feel Arnold blushing already. The strapless dress displayed her shoulders in a strong silhouette. Her hair was piled up on her head, letting her neck lengthen beautifully. Those are more my words than Gerald's, but you know. The last hint of flash came from a simple gold heart necklace and small golden earrings - both of which belonged to Phoebe - not that Gerald noticed.

As Gerald was pushing his way through the growing crowd, Helga, who was standing outside the bathroom waiting for Phoebe, finally noticed him! She scrambled noticeably but didn't make it through the bathroom door before he reached her.

"Helga!" He shouted as she was clearly trying to get away. He caught her arm before she could get away though.

"Get off me, Geraldo! Who said you could touch me?" She wrenched her arm away roughly.

"Sorry - I didn't know you would be here." He had a strange look on his face.

"Like it's weird? It's a free country, isn't it? A girl can go to a dance if she wants to." Shut up Helga!

"Yeah, I guess - I just never took you for the sparkly pink dress type, is all." Gerald leaned back and crossed his arms.

"Whatever. It's the best dress that was left - so."

"You here with someone?" Gerald asked sharply.

"What?" Helga's face flushed hot. She kept an eye on the bathroom door, waiting for her chance to dash to it.

"Are you here with a date?" Gerald asked more deliberately. If there was another fighting for Helga's affections (as wild as that might be) Arnold needed to know. I thought they were already like a thing - or close enough right?

"Uh - I mean - " Helga didn't know what to say. She could tell him to fuck off, but that might not be the move considering the plan! But it would be worse for Gerald to see Phoebe before its time!

"Does Arnold know you're here?" Gerald decided direct was best with this girl. Damn she was dense.

"Why does that matter, tall hair boy?" Helga spat, though now she was genuinely confused. But before she could investigate further she saw the bathroom handle starting to move. "Ah - I gotta go!" She lurched forward and burst through the door, pushing whoever was behind it back.

Gerald just stood there confused, staring at the door. Resolving to figure it out further later, he started back to where Arnold left him shaking his head. Crazy broad, he thought.

"Hey Phoebe - just gotta go. Will you stay in here with me? Keep everyone else out?" Helga was rambling as she shut the door. But when she turned around she wasn't talking to Phoebe at all. Just a small tenth grader quaking with fear. "Oh - get outta here."

The girl jumped and darted out.

"Helga, I'm over here." Phoebe squeaked from the mirror.

"Oh - yeah. There you are." Helga said, moving over to her. "Does my hair look alright? My make up? Am I melting?" While spluttering on, Helga also took out her phone and texting Arnold.

Geraldo almost caught me and Phoebe by the bathrooms! Come get him!

Arnold had snuck over to room 143 to start the looping soundscape. They had a few hours to enact the plan. Then he saw Helga's message. He jumped up and ran back to the gym, looking for Gerald. Luckily, Gerald seemed to be looking for him too.

"Gerald!"

"Man, Helga is here." He said skeptically.

"Oh, yeah?" Arnold managed. Did he know? What did he know?

"Yeah - did you know she was coming?" Gerald had a look of concern on. Arnold stared back, confused.

"No - no. I didn't know."

"Well, she's all dolled up - like, for a date!" Arnold perked up at that a little.

"Really?" Arnold asked happily, going just a bit dazy at an imagined image of Helga in a golden floor length dress.

"Yeah - but what if it's for someone else?" Gerald didn't understand what Arnold wasn't getting. Finally, Gerald noticed he hadn't gotten much at all. "Man, where are the cameras?"

"Oh, yeah. Right!" Arnold said. And just then, he could see the top of Helga's head peeking out of the bathroom door. "Right, yeah - come on!"

Arnold grabbed Gerald by the arm and turned him toward the hallway. If he could just get him out of the gym, they'd buy a little time to maneuver. But as Arnold tried manhandling him, Gerald ripped his arm away and turned around. "Man - what are you doing?"

Helga was trying to get Phoebe across the gym to a more secluded table. She had to improvise though as she saw Gerald spinning back around at the door. Helga swung Phoebe around, into her arms and started to sway on the crowded dance floor.

"Helga! Haha you don't have to be so rough!"

"Sorry - I just really like this song." They laughed and swayed clumsily.

"You really like Baylor Quick?"

"Is that who this is?"

Gerald spotted Helga again, but there were too many bodies on the dance floor to make out her dance partner.

"She's dancing with somebody, dude!"

"It's ok, Gerald. Really -" Arnold stepped in front of him. "Really - It's ok. It's not like we're going out." Gerald seemed to be taking this personally - the painful residue of his own relationship.

"I know but - "

"Look, I'm sure I'll see her later. Let's just go get the cameras." He managed to shuffle him off, but this also meant it was time to act. Behind Gerald, he pulled out his phone and hastily texted, I think it's time! Gerald is getting antsy.

Helga took a slow peek and saw the back of the boys walking away.

"Ok - that was nice, shall we go get a drink?" Helga was dragging Phoebe off the dance floor without waiting for an answer.

"Helga, please stop whipping me around!" They approached the big punch bowl and table full of cupcakes and sweets. Phoebe started pouring them cups and eyeing the pastries as Helga checked her phone again.

"Oh! Actually!" Helga grabbed Phoebe's hand, knocking the plastic cup from it. "I just remembered something. Come with me!"

"Helga, seriously! Stop it!" Phoebe wrenched her arm away.

Arnold was obviously walking in the wrong direction if they were supposed to be picking up cameras from the journalism room.

"Arnold, what is going on?" Gerald had stopped walking. As Arnold turned to look at him he was running through his options in his head. He could tell the truth - but that would ruin the surprise. He could beg him to trust him, but Gerald would just laugh and demand answers. So Arnold did the one - the only thing he could think of. "Hello!? Are you listening to me?"

Arnold turned and ran.

Helga was having a similar moment as she stared at Phoebe. She went for a different tactic. She went for a Half-Truth.

"Ok Pheebs, you got me. Something is going on that I have just been too ashamed to tell you about." Helga cast her eyes downward and shuffled her feet just a little.

"Well, what is it, Helga?" Phoebe was hooked.

"It's easier if I show you!" Helga turned and held out her hand for Phoebe to take - which she immediately did.

Both teams were en route to room 143 - Gerald in hot pursuit of Arnold and Helga gently guiding Phoebe. Helga had chosen this room because it was nestled between two hallways with access to both. You could enter this room from the north or the south - which was perfect for their love tunnel-esque rendezvous. Phoebe and Helga were approaching from the south and the boys from the north. When they knew the other was in place, they each would shove their victim into the room and hold the door tight. The moment was coming.

Helga came to the door and held the handle, but did not enter.

"Helga?" Phoebe asked, quietly.

"One minute." She could hear heavy running footsteps and a scuffle. Then a grumbling ARNOLD which was unmistakable.

"Is that Gerald?" Phoebe asked sharply. It was now or never.

"READY!" Helga bellowed.

"NOW!" Arnold answered.

And with that they both swung open the door, twisted around and shoved their friends into the room. They then slammed their doors in the flurry of WHAT! WAIT! WHAT IS HAPPENING!!