"You foul beast! What have you done? You brought that thing here, didn't you?!"

"NO! It wasn't me. I swear, I did nothing wrong!"

[What is this? This is … I don't remember this. I didn't—]

"—Liar! Your own flesh betrays you! Be gone, you devil! You're a curse upon this village! I should have left you to die the day you were born, but for your mother's wish to raise you strong. I spit on that vow! "

[The Hell? You're not my—]

"Papa! Please! I'm innocent! I didn't summon that creature here. I stopped it—"

"—With what power?! You're a weak, pathetic worm, good for nothing! Always have been. You were too sickly to even suckle the wet nurse's teet for too long."

[Who the Hell talks like that?]

"You're not even fit to be a slave! You say you beat this monster? You're delusional, is what you are. That demon had you under its thrall! Did you promise the lives of our people for this evil power? Away with you! You're a cursed existence!"

[What the f*ck is your problem, you asshole?! You'd talk to your own kid that way?! Why the Hell can't I move?]

"Please, papa! I had nothing to do with that demon. I was in the meadow when it appeared! I don't know how I killed it. I don't know what these markings are. I don't know what happened! Please, don't turn me away! Please!—"

"There he is!"

"He brought that devil here!"

"NO! It wasn't me!"

"That fiend was never my begotten! —"

—[Better off for him, you horse's ass]

"His mother f*cked a demon to conceive him! I was betrayed! Cuckholded! She paid the price for her sin— "

—[Oh Hell no!]

"Do what you will with the bastard!"

[This is wrong]

"Stone him!"

[What is this shit?]

"Chase him away"

[Why can't I move?]

"Banish him! He'll be our downfall if he stays!"

[Why am I seeing this?]

"Papa, please! Have mercy! I beg you! Father!"

...

[... Who the f*ck are you people?!]

...

...

"You're not my son!"

-Guild Infirmary-

Later that afternoon, Lucy was sitting beside a peacefully resting Gray. He'd been cleaned up while the blood and sweat-soaked sheets were switched out from beneath him, his stomach wrapped in herb-infused dressings; and his black yukata had been draped around him before he was laid back down, so he needn't feel so exposed as he did hours before. All traces of the scent of burnt flesh had been aired out, as confirmed by all three dragon slayers. She could hear quiet murmurings from the other room, as everyone tried to keep the atmosphere light and quiet while they waited for Gray to wake up.

Lucy was engrossed in her latest borrowed book from Levy, when she heard his sudden intake of breath. She turned her head swiftly, just in time to see his eyes flutter open. She sent a quick message to Wendy via com lacrima as she watched him cast his gaze about, like he was actually trying to focus on something. She flipped through the pages of the book a few times before closing it with an audible thump, before she said, just above a whisper, "Gray? It's me, Lucy. How do you feel? Do you need anything?"

Zeroing in on her voice, he answered, voice hoarse, but no longer silent, "Water."

"Okay. May I touch you?"

At his answering nod, she grabbed a water bottle off a nearby table, uncapped it, and eased her arm underneath him, raising him up so his head rested against her shoulder. As she helped him drink, she explained.

"The others are waiting right outside the door. Master wanted peace and quiet in here, and Natsu couldn't handle the stillness for too long. He started getting fidgety, and Porlyusica wasn't about to put up with any possible antics and kicked the rest of us out. She allowed one person at a time to sit with you until you woke up."

She was interrupted by the sound of excited murmurs from the other room, followed by a harried Wendy coming inside, leaving the door open to allow the others to file in, taking places around the room to see for themselves how Gray was doing. Wendy gathered a few extra pillows and helped Lucy prop him up, then checked him over for any lingering effects from his ordeal.

"I was able to take care of the swelling around the marks, and the wounds themselves look okay. No bruising or signs of infection. How's the pain?"

"Manageable... It worked. I can't really feel the magic flowing in like normal, but… I can tell my origins aren't as empty as before."

"Good. That's what I was expecting. I noticed some resistance as I was using my powers on you. It looks like there's a limit to how much you can absorb in a given time. We'd have to experiment to find out what those limits are." Finding his vitals to be satisfactory, she then proposed, "It's still the same day, almost two in the afternoon. Are you hungry?"

…

"... I could eat."

"Okay. Mira's gonna bring you something that shouldn't be too hard on your stomach. Also, you're gonna be sore for a few days. You'll definitely feel it deep in the muscle, so try not to twist around too suddenly, and get help if you need to sit up or anything, okay?"

…

…

?

"Gray? Did you hear me?" she asked, now concerned with his lack of engagement. She was starting to fear they were witnessing the onset of some delayed reaction to all the stresses they'd put him through, when he finally responded.

Shaking his head, he answered, "I'm fine. Just still waking up, I think."

"Did you sleep okay?" Lyon wondered, "You didn't seem distressed. We would have woken you if we'd noticed."

"Nothing like that. Just… I don't know. Maybe dreams, I think? I'm not even sure. I don't remember. It doesn't matter… I'm just ready for this day to end. And to be able to move around more."

"Then let's make it easier. When d'ya wanna to get your sight back?!" asked an eager Natsu. Trust him to blurt out what everyone else was wondering, but who'd had the tact not to bring it out until he was ready.

" … I can get around just fine without sight." He sounded a little annoyed.

"But surely you expected this would come up once you got your powers back," said Erza, "Porlyusica has said more than once that she can have you fitted for artificial eyes at a moment's notice. I can assure you, the process is quite painless, and the results are impressive. They're very easy to adapt to."

"They're also powered by ethernano. Remember? I'm already limited to how much magic I can use. How much less will I have if I have to rely on it to see?"

"While that is true," spoke up Wendy, drawing all eyes towards her, "you could always limit how often you'd actually use them. Ocular lacrima are designed to use ethernano nonstop, even while asleep, so they're readily available as soon as you wake up. Porlyusica-san took your magic levels into account, and added a unique feature to the ones you would receive: They require exposure to a light source in order to activate. Essentially, light would serve as your on or off switch. If you were to block out all light, you could deactivate the flow of ethernano, thereby allowing you to conserve it for other uses. The only drawback would be a slight delay in activation time, which shouldn't be an issue for you, since you're quite used to the dark anyway."

"That's right," said Lucy, "And whenever you choose to go without sight, you can still fall back on all the skills you've learned whenever you need to."

"If I were to go through with that nonsense, I think I'd be more inclined to stay in the dark, and maybe fall back on using the fakes whenever I can't find a restaurant menu in Braille," was Gray's cynical response.

"Hey, whatever you prefer. But at least you'd have them when needed," added Cana, "Come on. What's there to lose? There's so much to gain from this… You've never even seen Joy yet."

'Really? You're using my cat as an argument? Low blow.'

"I know what she looks like."

"You know how she's been described to you. Not the same," she countered.

"Thanks for pointing that out. Guess I was too freakin blind to see it."

"I didn't mean it like that. I know you came a long way, and I get that things are getting back to some semblance of normal for you now; but aren't you at least tempted to get your sight back? Just a little?"

"Of course I am. But some things are better left buried."

"Gray," said Erza, "if this is about your mom—"

"—What the Hell does she have to do with this?!"

Knowing she'd stepped in it with that ill-conceived remark, she tried to take her words back.

" ... It's nothing—"

"—You don't get to bring up something that provocative and leave it be," he answered, voice unnervingly calm, tinged with rancor, "Say what you were going to say. I very much want to hear this."

" … I'm sorry. It was a thought I'd had a while ago. This was before you'd reconciled with her. I only wondered whether you feared… seeing her face… when you'd be able to see yourself in a mirror again."

Now they could all see how he tried to keep a simmering anger from manifesting.

…

…

"I f*cking love my mother—" he seethed.

"—I know. It was stupid of me to bring it up—"

"—Stop. Best not go any further," he interrupted, knowing he couldn't handle that particular subject right now, "It was a valid point. I'm… I should be grateful you would consider that. Let's put it behind us now... Please."

Eager to accept that invitation, she readily agreed, still feeling aghast that she'd even brought the idea up. She wasn't sure what was worse: The fact that she'd introduced this theoretical trepidation that he'd never even considered, but now had a firm stake in his mind; or that she was right to assume this to be a very real possibility, and he was pissed off at the reminder that it had once been a very real fear.

Gray, meanwhile, couldn't shake off this sense of being on edge. Why was he being so standoffish with everyone? He knew this wasn't like him. Maybe he really hadn't slept well. Or the recent trauma from the procedure was affecting his mood. Whatever this was, his friends didn't deserve this ill treatment.

"Then what's the real reason?"

"Natsu, I think we should let this go—" Lucy tried to intervene.

"But why?! You're just giving excuses or avoiding it all. I just don't get why you'd want to live like this forever!"

"Like what!?" Gray shouted indignantly.

"This isn't helping anything!" said Lyon, "Let's calm down. It was too soon to even bring this subject up. We've all been under stress, and Gray's still tired. We're getting too emotional over this—"

"—What 'this' are you talking about, Natsu?!"

"Your disability, dammit! If I ever lost my sight, I'd give anything to get it back. I just can't imagine why anyone would choose to stay the way you are!"

"The way I … What the f*ck do you know—" he stopped, gasping at the sudden flare up of pain in his abdomen after angrily pushing himself forward just now. The others reacted in worry, and tempers petered out as concern replaced ire. Wendy tried to offer a salve, but he held his hand up in irritated refusal, before placing that hand over the burns, sending a cooling mist over them. It wasn't ice, but a fine frost. He knew better than to use something too cold when he hadn't fully adapted to it yet.

Allowing himself to be pushed back against the pillows, he opened eyes he hadn't noticed were closed, and focused his gaze back to where they were before, continuing where he'd left off.

"You don't know shit about what it's like to live like 'this'. Is that how you really see me? I'm just your poor disabled friend, now, is that it? I worked my ass off to learn how to do everything on my own, despite my blindness. But all you see is the one thing I can't do! Newsflash, you stupid lizard. Your imagination doesn't dictate reality. I don't need your damn pity, so don't you dare feel sorry for me!"

"You're right! I'm sorry!… I don't see you that way. I never did. But you've worked so hard to regain so many things you lost, I guess I just don't understand why you wouldn't want to go after this, too."

That pain, coupled with Natsu's sincere apology, sapped most of his anger away. Now he felt guilty. They should be celebrating right now. He had his powers back! Not all of it, but better than none. He hadn't even flinched at using it just now, had barely acknowledged how it was the first time he'd done so since the kiln. Like he'd never lost it, it was second nature to pull out just enough to soothe the pain, without feeling that constant drain. That was another thing. That drained sensation has lessened. He was still feeling the low reserves; but the fatigue, the powerlessness, wasn't nearly as bad.

It's been so long, suddenly having his powers back hadn't yet felt real to him. Now all these doors were opening for him, and he wasn't even awake enough to consider his options. This couldn't have waited until tomorrow? But they'd worked hard to get this far, and he could understand their eagerness to go even further. He owed them his honesty at least.

" … I do want to—"

Wait. What? But he'd just…

"—but it's not the right time yet."

Intrigued, everyone grew curious about what that could mean. What constituted the right time? Because even though they found it difficult to put themselves in his place, they could understand his defensiveness at having anyone think him incapable of something. But if he really wanted his sight back, what was stopping him?

They were having to exercise a bit of patience as he worked up the courage to say what he had in mind. Natsu felt he should have shown more patience from the start, but he was so excited for his friend. He'd just assumed he shared that same eagerness.

Finally, he drew himself up, and revealed almost reluctantly, voice low and timid, "I never saw it."

A few confused looks were exchanged, and by silent agreement, Lyon stepped forward to ask, "What do you mean?"

He was about to answer, wanting to end this quickly, but his voice betrayed him as he choked up, unable to hold back the tears that demanded release. His friends were taken aback by this sudden onset of sorrow, and Natsu, all discomfort from their previous fight gone, sat beside him and pulled him close, offering him some of that companionable touch Erza was always going on about. He didn't cry per say, so much as he tried to wait out his melancholy. His breaths were highly controlled as he closed his eyes and felt those tears fall.

After another minute or so, it seemed like he was having trouble getting words out, so instead, he raised a trembling hand and placed it over the padding sewn into his chest. Eyes widened in understanding, and various feelings of sadness, anger, and ill will towards a certain departed necromancer arose.

That hurdle out of the way, Gray seemed more willing to elaborate. With tense, shuddering breaths, he did so.

"I never had to see it! I never wanted to. My mind goes to dark places every time my hand glances along those tally marks; and the numbness I feel, every time my shirt brushes against my back, is a constant reminder of how it'll always feel that way. I've accepted that. … But… this here," again, tapping his chest, "I… I thank God for every day I don't have to see it. I can't properly convey what I feel when I think about it. I still have nightmares about that moment; of that sinking feeling I got when I realized what it was about to do. The pain was… indescribable. It wouldn't stop. No matter how much I screamed… And even when I couldn't anymore, it …

…

" … If I could see, I wouldn't be able to NOT look at that wound. I know I would always go back to that chamber, return to being strapped down, helpless, as that thing tried to … to … I … *shudder* Dammit! It tore my guild mark away! Ripped my skin off like it was a worthless piece of filth, treated it like garbage! It knew exactly what it was doing! It wanted to take away every reminder of who I was, and where I belonged. And I …

…

"I… could never bring myself to take it back. My mark. I could have had it replaced the day I came home. Just pick where I'd want it. Anywhere, but where it used to be. But it felt wrong somehow. Like… if I were able to just choose a new location, to accept a new mark, then it meant what happened was something trivial. It really was just a piece of trash that could easily be replaced. But I'd always know! I would always remember WHY it was in the wrong place. And the thought of actually seeing it anywhere else, or of seeing that empty spot where it used to be, of seeing nothing there at all I don't think I could bear it. I don't want to feel disgust at the very sight of my mark, regardless of where it was. I feel so f*cking sick that I consider my blindness a blessing. I'm grateful for never having seen what was done to me."

And they understood. A guild mark wasn't just a symbol of affiliation. It was a family crest. A coat of arms, worn with pride to proclaim to the world they belonged to something grander than they themselves were. To have it taken, in such a vicious way, was beyond defilement. But still, what did he mean by "it's not the right time"?

"You're waiting for new skin grafts," reasoned Lucy.

Feeling how Gray had stiffened in his arms at that conclusion, Natsu knew Lucy was right. Had he felt this sadness all this time? Even now, the previous grafts would have still needed more time to completely fill in that empty space. But pretty soon, it would have been a patch of complete skin. He'd never given any indication of just how devastated he must have been after they had failed. Granted, he was in an apathetic, disengaged state at the time. But the frustration of having waited in excited anticipation for so long, as they healed day by day, only to lose them in that attack, had to be staggering. And he'd just accepted it like everything else.

"I'm sorry," Natsu said somberly, "I didn't know. I mean, I thought it was kinda strange how you didn't want your guild mark when Mira offered it back then. But I knew you were going through a lot, so I left it alone. It wasn't really my business. I just figured you'd wait a few days, get settled in, think about where you'd want it. But life went on, and I never thought about it again. I wouldn't have pushed so hard if… I'm really sorry."

"*sniff* Nothing to be sorry for. Not like I was ever open about it. And like I said, I do want to see again. But I was willing to wait however long it took for those grafts to heal. And when I can finally get new ones, I'll wait again, no matter how long it takes, until I can place my guild mark where it rightfully belongs," Gray replied.

Giving his shoulder a final squeeze, Natsu released him and rose from the bed, but stayed by his side.

"The grafts failed…," came Wendy's quiet murmur. Not everyone heard, but those who had were wondering why she seemed like she was acknowledging that for the first time. They were doubly astonished when she looked up in excitement and declared like a great treasure had just been discovered, "Gray! The grafts failed!"

Now all eyes were on the young woman who was obviously eager to share her mysterious epiphany.

Gray, all worn out from the procedure and subsequent emotional drain, didn't have the energy to feel any annoyance at such a redundant statement, especially since he probably couldn't bring himself to feel ire towards Wendy anyway. He just knitted his brow and sent a confused, "Thanks?" towards her general location, as if she was just giving him a friendly reminder.

"No, listen! With the grafts gone, that leaves the injury wide open. One that isn't covered in slowing healing skin and scar tissue. With your magic now restored, I can finally heal your wound!"

The mental fatigue was a hindrance, but after making all the connections, those dim eyes brightened considerably, and he allowed himself to feel that spark of excitement that was slowly growing, and spreading amongst the others.

But what about…

"The edges have healed. You'd have to—"

"We'd sedate you, of course, and reopen anything that had already healed. And because your magic absorption is limited, you may be under for awhile, a couple of hours at least. It's sort of like how we had to cauterize the marks in short bursts. Too long exposure to the heat would have caused more damage than was needed. So too would trying to force too much magic into your system at once. I would do it slowly, in stages, healing the wound little by little until it was completely closed."

"Will that hurt you?"

"Not at all. I wouldn't be expending a great deal of magic. I may be working for a while, but only with small amounts, less than I'd be absorbing at the same time, even. I could sustain that kind of ethernano usage all day and not feel a thing. In fact, my origins would probably be filled by the time I was done."

…

Everyone remained quiet as he tried to process all he'd just heard. This was all so sudden, and he was having trouble keeping up.

" … Gray? What are you thinking?" wondered Lyon.

"Just… taking it all in. So I could wake up tomorrow, and this wound would finally be gone?"

"There'd be some discoloration, due to how long the injury's been lingering. No different than with the grafts, really. But keep in mind, you already know I can't create nerve tissue. Nerve cells don't regenerate, so I can't force them to do what they're not designed to do. You'd still feel nothing on that spot for the rest of your life."

"That's fine! I've grown used to that feeling. This is still more than I'd ever hoped for. *Chuckle* Just… Oh my God …"

He was overwhelmed. They could see that clearly as he brought a hand up to wipe the last stray tears from his eyes, but stilled. He kept his hand splayed over his eyes, unmoving for a few moments, before sliding it down to cover his mouth, eyes still closed, as if deep in thought. No one said anything, afraid to startle him if he was too distracted by whatever was on his mind.

When he opened his eyes, Lyon could tell he wanted something by the longing he saw there.

Gray blinked a few times, pulled his hand away, cleared his throat, and asked with a voice filled with hope, "Wendy, if you're able, that is, if it's possible… I mean, you said I'd be sedated for hours anyway. I was wondering if, while I was out... if you'd be able to restore my sight, as well."

Excited smiles were on everyone's faces, none more so than on Wendy's as she answered, "Porlyusica-san needs to be informed, so she can set everything up. She'd be the one performing the implantations, but we can definitely work in tandem. And before you ask, the timing is all up to you. But if you want, we can get started tonight, after you've rested some more. And if all goes well, you might get to see tomorrow's sunrise."

The sight of Gray witnessing his first sunrise in more than half a year would certainly be a sight to behold.

I got my groove back! Thanks for the affirmation that I'm not just writing into the ether. I was starting to wonder if the constant angst and the subject matter was turning some readers off. Nice to see I'm not the only person who likes to see my favorite character go through Hell in order to come back stronger.

I've decided that, even if I'm left with a single reader, I'll gladly write for an audience of one.

Oh, and Happy New Year!

Next chapter: Mira catches a glimpse of something...? Maybe?... while Gray receives what's been long overdue.