Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I just play with them. This story is rated M, and is not suitable for younger readers. Story contains violence, coarse language and sexual "situations". Please do not read if any of these things offends you.

Note: [Beta'ed by: adt216 & vasweetpea07]

Chapter 14 – Difficulty

Edward Cullen POV

I stared at the car door, fiddling with the car keys in my hand. Emmett was looking at me and tapping his foot impatiently.

"Are you driving or not? I know it's not your precious Volvo, but you always said you enjoyed driving my Jeep. After all, it can take a lot more crap than your car," he said with a chuckle, and I shook my head as I threw the keys back at him.

"Nah, you drive. It would feel like cheating if I drove another car while my baby is in the shop," I replied, walking over to the passenger side of the car.

"Yeah, because your car has feelings," he mocked as he got behind the wheel. "You didn't seem to have anything against driving other cars when your car was in the shop after the incident with Mike. What gives?"

"Maybe I'm not in the mood," I replied with a light shrug.

"Yeah, and Rosalie doesn't swallow," he replied with a laugh.

"Geez, thanks, that was a mental image I could have lived without…" I grimaced.

He chuckled as he drove down the winding driveway to the main road. He glanced at me with a curious look and chuckled again, while shaking his head in amusement.

"Dude, I might not be the world's best driver… but c'mon, you don't need to hold on to your seat like your life depends on it," he commented and I looked at him confused. He nodded towards my hands and I looked down. I hadn't even noticed that I was gripping the seat, with my knuckles turning white because I was holding on so tightly.

"Dude, chill out, why dontcha?" he said. I tried to relax my hands and put them in my lap instead, but I still found my body oddly stiff and on edge.

Emmett kept throwing odd glances at me during the remainder of the drive. When he drove up to the parking lot, I couldn't help but groan inwardly. His glances weren't the only ones being thrown my way now. People were staring, and they didn't even try to hide it. I saw how they huddled together, whispering and pointing, as we drove past them towards an empty parking space.

"I'm so glad I'm not you right now," Emmett said with an amused smile, as he turned off the engine.

"Yeah, because you would have peed your fucking pants if it had been you," I replied under my breath, and it wiped that amused expression off his face in a second.

"Uncool," was all he said, before getting out of the car.

I rolled my eyes and climbed out of that beast of a car, slamming the door hard behind me. I followed Emmett as he crossed the lot, and I did my best to ignore the stares as we went. It was like I was some kind of movie star or some shit, like none of them had ever seen me before.

New drama and fresh gossip were scarce in this town. Of course they would all jump on this piece and rip it to shreds until it was nothing but a bunch of lies floating around. I'm sure that by the end of this week, the accident would be described as a serial collision with ten cars involved; there would be a few casualties, along with several injured. One of the dead would be a young child, maybe even an infant. Of course the Goose would be the one to blame for the accident. People would naturally assume she went berserk for some reason and jumped in front of a car or two or maybe drove like a maniac on the road, making people swerve in order not to crash into her, which in turn made them crash into each other instead.

Yeah, there would be numerous rumors floating around, and none of what was being said would be true. Today was only Monday, and the week would only get worse from here, as would the gossip.

This morning, Mom had suggested I stay home and rest. Normally, I would have jumped on the chance of staying in bed all day, but today was not a normal day. I knew that if I stayed home the attention would be even worse when I finally came back, so I better just grab the damn bull by the horns and hope that the day would pass fairly quickly and leave me unscathed.

But I had a feeling that today would be anything but a good day, especially since I felt like I was dead on my fucking legs. I was beyond exhausted; I hadn't had a good night's rest for the entire weekend, all because of the nightmares that plagued my sleep.

Yeah, you heard me. Edward fucking Cullen was having nightmares.

Fucking nightmares. Like I was some punk kid that was scared of Gremlins under the bed or some shit. I didn't do nightmares. So why the hell was I waking up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, with my heart pounding like a jackhammer in my chest?

That was fucked up.

This morning I had woken up after a particularly disturbing dream, and when I glanced at the clock on my nightstand, it had told me it was only five am, still an hour and a half before my alarm would normally go off. I had turned it off and rolled out of bed with a groan. There had been no reason to stay in bed any longer. There was no chance of me being able to go back to sleep anyway. My heart was still pounding like crazy, though the memory of the dream had begun to fade, and I could no longer recall what the hell it was about to begin with, and what had made me freak out like that.

The nightmares seemed to have a thing or two in common; they all took place in dark and lonely places. In one dream, I found myself lost in the woods, running around like crazy to find my way out. It wasn't like I was being hunted or anything, but I still had that weird feeling of not being alone. It was very dark. The only light there was the eerie, red light emitting from nothing in particular, and the red glow made it appear as though the trees were bleeding…

Red light and trees bleeding.

Yeah, it didn't require a rocket scientist to figure out where the hell that came from. And I didn't need a fucking dream interpreter to tell me what the fuck it meant. Apparently my subconscious didn't think that dealing with the aftermath of the accident when I was awake was enough, apparently, apparently I should be dealing with it in my sleep too. And never getting a break from it ever.

I had been more dead than alive when I walked into the bathroom to take my morning shower. The cut on my forehead had stung as the water came in contact with it, but I couldn't have cared less. The pain had been welcome; it made me feel like a man. And not like a fucking pansy that got freaked out because of a fucking nightmare. I had pulled on my pajama pants, after I'd dried off my body and walked downstairs. Although it had only been five thirty in the morning, I could still hear noises and low voices coming from the kitchen.

The voices had quieted as soon as I stepped inside. Mom and Dad had been sitting by the breakfast table, both wearing somber expressions.

"Don't mind me, " I had muttered as I opened the fridge door in the hunt for something to eat.

"Maybe you should stay home today," Mom had said softly. "Emmett can bring you your homework. You've had a rough weekend. You deserve a day of rest."

I had turned my head to glare at her, but the glare lost its power when I met her gaze. She had been looking at me with those infuriating loving eyes. It was impossible to glare at her or stay angry with her when she looked like that. She knew this, of course, and she used it to her advantage more often than never. None of us could resist that look.

"I agree with your mother," Dad had said. When I had glanced at him, I saw that he didn't hold the same loving gaze, and for that I was fucking grateful and not even remotely surprised. At least there was one parent I could hate in all this. The next words from his mouth just gave me another reason. "I think you've done enough damage this weekend to last a lifetime."

"Carlisle!" Mom had gasped, her eyes going wide, and I had wanted to roll mine. I had expected to be blamed for this entire situation, so his choice of words did not surprise me as it had my Mom. But though it hadn't surprised me, I was still a little damn irritated by it. Weren't parents supposed to stand by you no matter what kind of shit you got yourself into? My dad apparently didn't get that particular memo.

"I'm not talking about the accident, honey," Dad had said, looking at my mom. "I was talking about how he went over to the hospital and told Isabella to pay for the damages to his car."

"That's bullshit! She was fucking lying!" I had snapped. "She was pissed that I came, and she said that to you just to get me into more fucking trouble, like I wasn't in deep enough shit as it was."

I still couldn't believe she actually pulled that shit on me, and the only thing weirder was the fact that Dad actually believed her. First Emmett had asked me if I hit her on purpose, and now Dad actually believed I went there to get her to pay for my car.

What the hell had I done to my family to have them have such low expectations of me? Did they really think I was such a horrible person, who would hit someone on purpose, and then make that someone pay for the damages done to my car? They acted like this was all normal behavior for me, and that it came as no surprise to them. This was the way I was, and they had learned to accept it and made no big deal out of it.

To say I was freaked out by this was to put it mildly.

Dad had looked over at me, something softening in his eyes, but the frustration and anger over the situation were still there. And that frustrated me to no end.

"Go back to bed, son. We'll talk about this when I get home," Dad had said with a deep sigh, before taking a last sip of his coffee and standing up. He had given Mom a quick kiss before leaving the kitchen.

"He's just overworked," Mom had said quietly, after we heard the front door slam shut. I wanted to roll my eyes at her attempt to make up excuses for him. "He's not blaming you for what happened. He's just tired. "

I had given her an incredulous look, and she had just smiled sadly at me.

"Just so you know, I'm not gonna spend my day in my fucking bed. I'm going to school," I had said firmly, before leaving the kitchen and walking back upstairs. Mom could defend him all she wanted; it still didn't change the fact that she seemed to be the only one on my side in all of this. And if she had not been my mother, I'm sure things would have been different.

Mom hadn't tried to stop me when I walked downstairs a couple of hours later and followed Emmett to the car. I don't know what I would have done if she had tried.

Mom's sad eyes and Swan's broken body were the two things I saw every time I closed my eyes, and it was beginning to wear on me. It was even worse than the nightmares.

I followed Emmett through the halls. I was too lost in thought to even notice the staring and the whispering from the people we passed anymore. We found Jasper waiting for us by his locker, and Alice and Rosalie were with him of course. Alice threw her arms around me and gave me a tight hug as soon as we reached them. I patted her back awkwardly, not really knowing what the hell I was supposed to do. I wasn't the hugging type.

"I'm glad you're okay, even though you're a fucking jerk," she muttered into my chest.

"Okay, well, thanks?" I said, looking down on the pixie clinging to me.

"You're welcome," she said calmly, letting me go before wrapping her arms around Jasper's waist instead. He looked a little more comfortable with her arms around him than I had.

"Your army of skanks has been asking about you all morning," Rosalie said with a bored tone, as she inspected her well manicured fingernails. "I wouldn't be surprised if Tanya drops down on her knees as soon as she spots you."

"Are you high? I don't think she'll ever go down on me again considering the way I blew her off at the party," I said, hoping like hell that I was right, because Tanya was the last person I wanted to deal with today.

"Don't overestimate her, the girl has no sense of self-preservation, and she doesn't have an ounce of self-respect in that plastic body of hers. You're hotter than Johnny Depp in full Jack Sparrow mode right now, and trust me when I say that she'll be the first in line to ride the Edward pole," Rosalie said. "Though I can't see why…" she studied me for a moment, and then shook her head. "Yeah, I really don't see the appeal."

"Maybe because the appeal is in my pants." I smirked and she stuck a finger in her mouth, pretending to gag. "And don't worry, the feeling is mutual. I can't see what the hell it is you have that makes my brother so eager to put his dick in you. You must have a magic pussy…" I trailed off when I realized Rosalie wasn't listening to me anymore, instead she was looking at something over my shoulder, with a growing smirk on her lips.

"Speak of the whore and she will appear," she said under her breath, and I turned around to follow her gaze. This, of course, turned out to be a big mistake when I saw Tanya walking towards us, with Jessica and Lauren in tow. Tanya's face lit up like a Christmas tree when she spotted me.

"Oh, baby! How are you feeling?" she cooed, hugging my arm as they reached us. It took all of my self control not to gnaw the damn limb off just to get away from her.

"I've been better," I replied honestly, barely containing my irritation at her close proximity.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Anything?" She batted her lashes at me, and I wondered how the hell I had ever let that face even come near my dick. Had my horniness made me blind or something? Blind and stupid.

Wouldn't be the first time…

"Yeah… there is one thing…" I said huskily, leaning in a little. She bit her lip, and her eyes shone in anticipation. She looked at my lips and I wanted to roll my eyes at her stupidity. Why didn't these girls ever learn? Did she honestly think I would kiss her after everything I had done to her?

"Anything…" she breathed, when my face was merely an inch away from hers.

"Let the fuck go of my arm," I snapped.

She blinked once. Twice. Before looking up at me.

"What?" she croaked and now I did roll my eyes.

"Don't fucking touch me unless asked otherwise," I snarled and pulled back my arm. She looked at me with surprise, but the surprise was quickly replaced by anger and embarrassment.

"Jerk!" she spat, brushing past me.

"Whore!" I spat back.

Lauren and Jessica giggled as they passed me, both throwing me – what I assumed was their versions of - seductive looks and I smirked at them. I even threw a wink their way, making them giggle and blush even more.

"God, you're such a man-whore," Rosalie sighed. "C'mon, Alice, let's get to class."

She dragged Alice off, but not before they both kissed their boyfriends goodbye. Emmett slapped me in the back of the head as soon as they were out of earshot.

"What the hell was that for?" I asked, rubbing the spot where he had just hit me.

"For being a tool," he said. "Grow a conscience already."

"Yeah, and maybe you should grow a pair and don't be such a fucking girl," I snapped.

"Remember the times when you guys weren't at each other's throats all the fucking time? Yeah, good times," Jasper commented with a sigh, before he walked away.

"Wait for me, dude!" Emmett called, as he jogged away to catch up with him.

I flipped them off, though they had their backs to me, before walking over to my locker and grabbing my books for first period. It would be nice to get a break from Emmett. He was being such a girl, and it was working my last nerve. Yes, I admit, sometimes Emmett's girly side could be fucking hilarious. It had been the cause for many great laughs in the past, but this was not the time for his antics.

I needed my fucking brother. Not a fucking sister.

You would think that people would get tired of whispering and talking about the accident. But no. It seemed as though the gossiping intensified during the morning classes, and at lunch it was fucking mayhem. The people who were brave enough came up to me, asked me how I was doing, and if they could do anything for me. Those who were too scared just kept on staring, whispering and pointing.

I was a fucking zoo animal for lack of a better term.

I plopped down on my usual seat in the cafeteria. Emmett and Jasper were the only ones at the table when I got there.

"Where are your skanks?" I asked, not really caring but feeling the need to fill the silence. "Shouldn't you guys be off getting head or some shit?"

"Alice had to go to the teacher's lounge, and Rose joined her," Emmett replied. I raised an eyebrow to show him that his answer didn't really make much sense to me, because Alice had no reason to go there.

"Alice went there to pick up a few assignments and homework, so she could drop them off later," Jasper explained in Emmett's place, and I glanced at him, even more confused now.

"Homework? Can't she wait for her classes before picking up her fucking homework? Since when is Alice such a bookworm?" I asked.

"It's for Swan, you dumbass. You know Alice, she's in charity mode, and she has made Swan her mission," Jasper sighed, and I could hear a hint of disapproval in his tone. I assumed I wasn't the only one annoyed over how Swan seemed to pop up in every corner of our lives. The kicker was that she probably wasn't even aware of it happening. She didn't know how she kept disrupting our lives by just breathing. Fucking Goose.

"Why can't Alice just leave her the fuck alone?" I muttered, mostly to myself. "Why does she insist on getting involved with her… you should keep your woman on a leash."

"Because Alice is a saint, and she likes Swan for reasons unknown to me. And I'm not gonna stop her from doing her thing, if it makes her happy," Jasper replied with a light shrug. "I might not be first in line for the Swan fan club, because frankly… the chick freaks me the fuck out… but I won't keep Alice from hanging out with her, if that's what she wants."

Jasper Whitlock – always the fucking diplomat.

"You're so fucking whipped," I groaned, and I had to resist the urge to stab him with my plastic fork.

"At least I have someone to whip me," he replied, with a casual raise of his eyebrows.

"If I wanted someone to whip me, I would have someone. But I don't see why I should be tied down to one single person when I could have all the pussy I want," I retorted.

"No pussy in the world could ever compete with the sweetness that is Rosalie…" Emmett said, with a dreamy sigh, "she tastes like… heaven and vanilla… and she is so fucking-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence. I have no desire to know any details about your girlfriend… especially not about her pussy… I bet it has teeth," I said, shuddering by the mere thought of Rosalie and her private parts. I wouldn't even touch that with a stick.

"You're just jealous because she chose me and not you," Emmett said, smiling widely. He acted like he had a reason to gloat, like he had won some sort of prize, when in reality he had lost big in the Girlfriend Lottery. Rose might be hot, but it took a great man to ever be able to stick by her for any longer period of time.

"So how was your morning? I bet nobody was staring at you or asking questions they had no right to ask?" Jasper smirked and I snorted.

"You don't even want to know," I replied.

"Em and I had a fun time listening in on Crowley and Newton between first and second periods," Jasper continued. "Apparently Crowley's mother is working as a nurse at the hospital, and she has been taking care of our lovely Swan, so he got the inside scoop from her… or so he claimed anyway. So if you hear any bullshit about her physical well-being, then I think we can safely assume where those rumors started."

"From what I've heard, people didn't even know who was involved in the accident… just that there had been one… then enter Crowley and his big mouth," Emmett added.

"Crowley have been calling around and spreading the rumors all weekend, and it has been spreading like fucking wildfire," Jasper said with a shaking of his head. "You would think his mother would get fired for blabbing to her son like that."

"So what are they saying? Are they saying I hit her on purpose? Do they think I tried to kill her?" I muttered, not really asking, because I did not really care what they thought. Emmett shook his head, apparently thinking I was genuinely asking.

"From what I heard, people are not blaming you at all. You may not be one of God's best children, but even the guys who hate your guts in this school know you would never do that," he said, and I gave him a pointed look.

"Huh, not even the guys who hate my guts, ey? It didn't stop you from thinking just that," I said, not really regretting the words even when I could see the pain flash in his eyes.

"Oh c'mon, bro," he complained. "I never thought that! I was just... asking. I was scared, for fuck sake, I didn't know what happened or what the hell was going on. I was freaking out, okay? And you know I talk before I think when I freak out."

"Does that mean you're always in freak out mode?" Jasper laughed, with his mouth full of food, and both Emmett and I turned to glare at him, which effectively shut him up.

"If they don't think I hit her on purpose… what are they saying? Seeing as this is Forks, I doubt they would just accept it to be a fucking accident," I sighed. "They need drama, and if there is none, they create it themselves."

"No kidding," Jasper said, "They all think Swan is to blame. They're sure she jumped or something. The theories go on and on. I even heard some freshmen talk in the bathroom, and they said she was trying to rob you at gunpoint… I guess that would have been plausible, considering who her father is… but still… I doubt lame-ass Swan would be able to pull it off even if she wanted too."

Lame-ass Swan, yeah right. She didn't appear so lame when she got me in trouble at the hospital. If needed, Swan could fight back, and when she did, she did it dirty. I guess we had all underestimated her in the past.

"I wouldn't put it past her… she's fucking crazy," I muttered.

"Dude," Emmett groaned. "Why are you still hating on her like that? Give her a fucking break already. What would it take for you to just drop that unfounded hatred you hold against her? Does she need to be actually killed before that happens?"

"I'm just calling it as I see it," I replied calmly.

"Just because she got you into trouble for something you didn't do, doesn't make her crazy. Just fucking genius," Emmett argued and I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Emmett to bring that shit up.

I had told him everything about what happened when I visited her when he picked me up from the hospital on Saturday, and he had a good laugh about it. He kept muttering about her being a genius all the way home, and I guess that opinion hadn't changed.

"Shut up, Em," I said with a sigh.

"Don't mind him," Jasper said to me. "Emmett has been sulking like a fucking kid all damn morning."

"Maybe he's on his period or something," I muttered, and Emmett threw us both the evil eye.

"Fuck you," Emmett spat as he pushed back his chair and stalked off, startling the people sitting by the nearby tables in the process. I followed him with my eyes, a little fucking stunned by his weird emotional outburst. What the hell got Emmett's panties in a twist this time? It's not like it was the first time we made fun of him.

I turned back and looked at Jasper, raising an eyebrow in confusion, but he didn't seem to share my bewilderment over my brother's odd behavior. He just sighed, and his earlier smirk faded from his face.

"Let's just say your brother isn't coping with the accident as well as you are," he explained quietly, so I only I could hear him. There was no hint of amusement or humor in his voice. "The way he's been acting this morning, it's like he was the one who ran her over and not you."

I groaned and leaned my elbows on the table, hiding my face in my hands. This was so typical Emmett. He was such a fucking teddy bear sometimes. I should have known that this would affect him, and I should not have been surprised when it did.

"He'll get over it. He's just being an overly sensitive girl right now," Jasper said assuredly.

"He better, or else I might have to run him over with my car too," I said, my voice muffled by my hands.

"Dude!" Jasper groaned, not appreciating my morbid joke. I dropped my hands down on the table and looked at him amused.

"What? Too soon?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Way too soon," he agreed. "Don't make jokes like that. It makes you appear like a bigger douche than we already know you are." I smirked and he shook his head at me, his face calm and collected as he looked at me. "I'm sorry, man, but I got to ask… how are you coping with all this? All I know is how Emmett is coping. He's been a wreck, and he wasn't even there when it happened."

"I'm fine." I shrugged. "I just wished people could stop bringing the shit up, so we could all just drop it and move the fuck on already. It was a fucking accident! How long are we supposed to be hung up on it? Let's drop it already. It's not important."

"So… you don't feel bad about what happened… like… at all?" he asked, looking a little confused.

"Bad? Of course I do. Do you even know how much this fucking cut stings?" I said, pointing at my forehead. "And God knows how long it will take for me to get my car bac-"

"Not what I was referring too," he said, cutting me off. "I was talking about Swan. Emmett is a wreck because you crippled her… or so we've been told. And I want to know what you feel about that."

"C'mon, what is this shit? Feelings this, and feelings that. What are you? A girl?" I snorted.

"Just answer the damn question, Ed," he sighed.

I glared at him and he just stared back with a blank expression.

"I'm not saying she deserved to be crippled, but she fucking deserved something," I snarled. "She's the Goose and will always be the Goose. And I will be damned if I feel sorry about anything as far as she's concerned."

Jaspers blank mask fell and he looked almost pained as he stared back at me.

"Dude… do you have a heart like, at all?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"I don't know, why don't we crack open my chest and find out?"

He sighed and stood up. "Why don't you call me when you grow the fuck up," he said, before walking off.

Emmett was being a girl at the moment, but Jasper's hypocritical side wasn't much better.

Emmett might be an evil mastermind when it came to payback, and he could hurt the people who wronged him in ways no other would ever think of. But inside he was a fucking girl, a girl who had feelings. And Jasper might be a cold son of a bitch, but he had a heart somewhere deep inside. Unlike me. It was really infuriating at times when Jasper connected to his heart and made you feel like an ass. He had done some really stupid and evil stuff in the past, things I wouldn't even do. But still, here he was, making me feel like an ass for not changing my opinion on the Goose. Or Swan. Or whatever I was supposed to call her now. And when it all came down to it; he didn't like Swan any more than I did, but for some reason he thought I should lay off her.

Fucking hypocrite.

You could say a lot about me, but I was not a fucking hypocrite. My friends should know that about me, and they shouldn't be trying so hard to try to change me into something I'm not.

Was it just me, or wouldn't it be a tad bit hypocritical to change your opinion on someone just because she was in an accident that you may or may not be responsible for? Just because I hit her with my car didn't change who she was to me or to the world. So why should my feelings change? Why should I feel sorry for her? She's the Goose, and she we will always be the Goose. The accident doesn't change the fact that everybody hates her. The only thing that changed was that she will be a crippled Goose when she comes back.

A cripple.

Because of me.

Yeah… and why was I supposed to feel bad about that again? I thought sarcastically to myself.

Why couldn't they realize I too was the victim here?

Just because Swan was on the receiving end of my bumper didn't mean I wasn't hurt too.

She might have to live her whole life being a damn cripple, but I had to live the rest of my life with the knowledge that I made her that way. It was my "fault". Wasn't that enough? Why did people need to hear me say it? Why was it so important to everybody that I acknowledge it out loud?

Why couldn't they just drop it? I hit her. She was hurt. End of fucking story.

If I could let it go, why couldn't they all do that too?

I didn't care about anyone, let alone her. So I'd be damned if they made me feel bad about it.

I didn't bother to eat my lunch. I just threw it in the nearest trashcan and stalked off too. The looks and whispering were almost unbearable as I walked out. I guess our scene at our table hadn't really helped matters. Now they were all probably thinking that Jazz and Em were involved in the accident too and that we were trying to cover up our tracks or some shit.

Even though I left the cafeteria well over thirty minutes before the next class started, I still managed to be late. And that was mainly because I went behind the gym-building to take a smoke, which turned into a couple more. I was too lost in thought, and too far away, to hear the warning bell.

I walked into Biology, ignoring the look Mr. Melina gave me on the way in.

"Go sit with your group, Mr. Cullen," he said. "You're working on the projects today."

I groaned and let my eyes sweep over the classroom, spotting Lauren and Mike sitting in the back of the classroom. I walked over to them, grabbing a chair and plopping down so I was sitting across from them.

"Hi, Edward," Lauren said leaning forward on the table. "How are you feeling?"

"Never better," I muttered.

"Too bad we're stuck with the ugly duckling, huh? If Mr. Melina thinks she'll get credit for our work when she's not even here, he has another thing coming," Lauren said, throwing her overly bleached hair over her shoulder and smacking her lips. Her words angered me for some reason, and her carefree smile froze when she noticed me glaring at her.

"At least she's known to get an A or two," I replied. "Unlike some people…"

Newton coughed to cover his laugh, and I turned my glare to him instead. He was looking down at his notebook with a fucking smirk gracing his lips.

"I noticed you didn't drive your Volvo today. I'm assuming Swan will have to pay for the damages she inflicted, huh?" he said, still smirking as he looked up at me. He seemed unaffected by my glare, which angered me even more.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I hissed through clenched teeth.

"Well… I was just… I assumed she… you… she has to pay? Right? Like I did? She ruined your car? Didn't she?" he stammered, looking confused and afraid – rightfully so. "I mean, if I had to pay… you're making her pay too, right?"

What happened next was just as much as a surprise to me as it was to Newton. But somehow my chair was pushed back, I stood up, and my fist connected with Newton's jaw, which in turn had caused him to tumble to the floor with a startled yelp and a cry of agony as he hit the floor.

"Edward Cullen! Principal's office. NOW!" Mr. Melina called furiously from his desk at the front.

I looked down at Newton and his terrified expression. Then I did the last thing I ever expected I would ever do. I spat at him. Literally. The slimy gunk landed on his sweater and he looked even more horrified.

"Watch your fucking mouth, Newton, or it might just be the last thing you do," I hissed.

Mr. Melina gave me a disapproving look when I left the classroom, but I didn't even glance at him. He had no power over me. The worst things he could to was to either fail me or send me to the principal's office. And failing me was not an option, since he knew as well as I did that I was too fucking smart to ever fail his class and a punch in Newton's face could not change that.

Besides, Newton had it coming.

I made the familiar walk over to the principal's office, and the secretary gave me just a look before telling me to go right in.

Mr. Greene didn't look up from his desk as I sat down on the chair across from his desk. My leg began bouncing restlessly as soon as my ass touched the seat. This room always made me feel claustrophobic. Mr. Greene looked up at me with tired eyes, and he sighed when he leaned forward.

"To what do I owe this pleasure today, Mr. Cullen?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Does it matter?" I asked, looking out the window. I noticed it was raining again. Of course.

There was no snow or ice to speak off anymore. It was like Friday had just been a cruel joke from Mother Nature or some shit. A week ago, it was warm enough to eat outside. A few days later, it was so cold that the water on the streets froze, and now it was raining like nothing ever happened. It was fucking November! Where the hell was the snow?

It was like Mother Nature just couldn't decide. Maybe global warming wasn't just a joke…

"Not really," Mr. Greene sighed, pulling me out of my random musings on the weather. He grabbed my thick file from its permanent spot on his desk. "Let's just get this over with." I wanted to smirk at his comment. He seemed to be just as tired as I was at our constant meetings.

"I may or may not have punched Mike Newton in his face and proceeded to spit on him," I replied, with no emotion in my voice. Mr. Greene didn't even flinch as he wrote it all down.

"I see… and what did Mr. Newton do to deserve such treatment?"

My jaw tensed and I grimaced automatically. Mr. Greene looked up from the file, baffled by my reaction, and I guess he had every right to be. I never showed any emotion regarding what put me in his office time and time again. No anger or happiness. The only emotions I ever showed him were maybe a bit of smugness and pride for even pulling off whatever shit I did. But this was different. This had been fucking personal on a whole other level than ever before.

"What did he do, Mr. Cullen?" he asked again and I glared at him.

"He might have suggested that Swan should be paying for the repairs to my car," I replied with a venomous voice. Understanding flashed in his eyes and he nodded once.

"Why yes… the accident," he sighed. "Talk of the town right now, isn't it?"

"So I've been told," I replied coolly.

He made a note in my file and put it aside.

"I'll let this one slide," he said, and I couldn't have hidden my surprise even if I wanted to. "From what I've been told, the accident was pretty brutal. And Mr. Newton had no right to make immature comments like that regarding this delicate situation. Though I wish you could have handled it better, and that you would have used your mouth and not your fist to settle the situation."

"I did," I replied, with a half-smirk.

"I don't think spitting on someone is an appropriate way to settle an argument," he said, giving me a pointed look. "You can leave now, and I assume you're going to apologize to Mr. Newton."

"I'll get right on it," I replied sarcastically and got up from my seat.

As I left the room I wondered what else I could get away with thanks to my newfound "situation." If the principal let me get away with punching Newton in the face, there was no limit to what else I could get away with.

Maybe the accident wasn't all that bad after all…

"YOU DID WHAT?" I flinched at Dad's voice. I don't think I've ever seen him so angry before, let alone heard him yell like that.

"I punched Newton in the face. What's the big fucking deal?" I replied, trying to keep my voice steady and carefree.

He paced back and forth in front of the desk in his office, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. His neck was growing red, and I could tell he was about to lose it.

He had never lost it before.

Laid-back Dad never lost it. He was the epitome of cool and collected. He never lost it. Never.

This should be interesting.

"Why do you keep getting yourself into these situations, son? Why do you keep trying to sabotage your life like this?" he asked, his voice laced with false calm, and I could feel the anger brewing underneath.

"Excuse me?" I replied, still trying to keep my cool and not let him know he was getting to me.

"I'm not saying he was right in making such stupid remarks. But you could have been the bigger man and just walked away. Why do you insist on making everything such a big deal?" he asked.

"Yeah. And maybe I should just have walked away from the accident too," I snorted sarcastically, "and not made such a big deal out of it."

"Don't even…!" He snarled, and my eyes widened at the venom in his voice. "You can count yourself lucky, son. I won't lie to you, but she probably wouldn't have made it if you hadn't called me. She was losing blood at an alarming speed. We're speaking minutes not hours. And if she had been forced to lay on that cold road for just another ten minutes, there is no saying how things would have turned out," he said, piercing me with his gaze. I looked away at the same moment as his pager for the hospital went off. He looked down on it and sighed deeply in frustration. "Speaking of which… damnit… I have to get back to the hospital."

He looked at me and I could tell this conversation wasn't over just yet. He had a lot more to get off his chest, and I was glad that it had to wait so I could prepare myself for the next load.

I wanted to claim that his words didn't bother me, but that would have been a lie. He said that she would have died within minutes if I hadn't called him, and that bothered me more than I felt comfortable with. I knew the accident had been serious, and I knew she had been severely hurt. Hell, I saw her leg. I saw the blood. Her leg was fucking crushed, and there had been a ridiculous amount of blood on the road. Of course the accident had been fucking serious.

But her attitude at the hospital made it appear as though it wasn't as bad as I thought. She had been fierce, and she had stood up for herself. And would someone who had been in a serious accident just twenty four hours before act so… strong? She made it so easy for me to believe it wasn't that bad.

"Dad… can I ask you something… something that will stay between us?" I asked, my voice cracking in the oddest way, and I shuffled my feet awkwardly in place.

"Of course, son," he replied, frowning a little in concern at my tone.

"Is she… is she going to be alright? She's not gonna die now… is she?" I asked, my eyes darting all over the place and avoiding him at all costs. He was quiet for a long moment, silently telling me to look at him, before he would answer me.

"She has a long road of recovery in front of her. But no, she's not going die…" he said. For some reason he frowned as he looked away with a faraway look in his eyes, and he began shuffling some files around.

I nodded once, satisfied with the answer. I was just about to leave when I heard him again.

"… at least not due to her injuries," he said, almost inaudibly.

I tilted my head as I looked at him confusion. What was that supposed to mean?

He still had his back to me, and he was still shuffling around the papers on his desk. There was nothing in his demeanor that made me think that we were still talking. He was picking up files, putting them in his briefcase, and acting like I wasn't even in the room anymore.

It made me wonder if he even intended for me to hear it…