Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I just play with them. This story is rated M, and is not suitable for younger readers. Story contains violence, coarse language and sexual "situations". Please do not read if any of these things offends you.
Note: [Beta'ed by: adt216]
Chapter 40 – "Loophole"
Edward Cullen POV
Jasper's words were still ringing in my head, but I couldn't concentrate on them. It was like a useless noise in the back of my head. I knew he had made a valid point when we had our talk during lunch, but with my hands roaming the body of Bella, I just couldn't find it in me to care. What the hell did Jasper's words matter when Bella was shuddering beneath my touch? Practically shaking while I kissed her and touched her. Shaking, shuddering, crying… wait, what?
I pulled back so I could see her face. My hands were under her shirt – but in safe territory. I was only touching her waist. Tears were streaming down her face, her body practically convulsing as she shuddered. What the hell is going on? Was she having some kind of episode or something?
I removed my hands from her waist and put them on either side of her face so I could force her to look at me.
"Sparrow, hey… what's going on? What's wrong?" I asked softly, stroking her cheeks with my thumbs. I fucking hated to see her cry. I hated to see her vulnerable, because I knew she was better than that. She was fucking strong.
"I… I can't… I can't do this," she whispered, sounding so ashamed. "Not now… not here."
"Why?"
She gave me a tired look and sigh. "This is where you bring all the other girls. I don't want to be like them. I'm not gonna get down on my knees for you in here, because… well, I'm not even physically capable of doing that."
I frowned as I studied her face. There was something she wasn't telling me.
"Cut the crap, Sparrow. Tell me the truth. What. Is. Wrong?"
I let my hands leave her face, stroking her arms on their way back down to her waist. She fisted my shirt in her hands and stared into my chest as she replied.
"You grabbed me," she whispered, almost too quietly for me to hear. "You grabbed me, and I thought it was my mom… the entire day I've been waiting for something to happen… for her to come back. For her to find me. In Port Angeles I was safe. She didn't know I was there, but she knows Forks. She may very well know I'm here now… she can come back… and… I thought she had… but it was you and… I'm scared." She buried her face in my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her tightly.
"You have no fucking reason to be scared," I assured her. "She will never get close to you again. I fucking promise you. You're safe."
"You can't just grab me like that," she continued, her voice still small and broken. "You can't just jump out of nowhere, surprising me like that. Don't scare me like that again. Ever."
My heart fucking broke. How the hell could I have been that stupid? Why didn't I fucking think first? It should been obvious that you don't just jump out and grab a girl, pulling her into a dark closet, when said girl has just been through the worst thing possible. When she's already afraid, looking over her damn shoulder all the time because she's afraid of the boogeyman coming back to haunt her.
"Fuck, Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't think. I just… I didn't think," I said, shaking my head slowly, pulling her impossibly closer and pressing my lips to her hair. "I would never hurt you. You know that, right?"
"Not intentionally, maybe," she mumbled into my chest. She was still shaking.
"You want to get out of here?" I asked quietly. She shook her head no, and I smiled. "Me neither."
"Can we stay like this forever? She would never come looking for me in here," she mumbled.
"Whatever you want, Bella, whatever you fucking want," I replied, kissing her hair again.
"And another thing," she began, pulling her head back and looking up at me. "Please, don't call me that." I looked at her confused, until I realized that I had called her Bella again. Twice. I chuckled and kissed her forehead. She was so fucking adorable. I leaned my head so my mouth was by her ear.
"Sparrow," I breathed, feeling her shudder in my arms. This time, it was a good shudder. Who knew such a simple word would come to mean so fucking much to her? Although, I guess it meant something to me too. Sparrow was more than just a nickname. It showed how far we had come since the accident.
I pressed my lips to the skin right below her ear, and she sighed in contentment.
The bell rang again, signaling that we had officially missed a class. We didn't move.
"Will your parents be mad at you for skipping class?" she asked.
I shook my head.
"No, they're already mad at me for so much other shit, skipping class is the least of my problems," I muttered.
She pulled back, giving me a sad smile as she met my gaze.
"When your dad was in Port Angeles, he said something about you suffering… he said something about a disorder. Was he talking about the post traumatic stress that you told me about that night you stopped me from…" she trailed off, not wanting to finish the question. I cringed at the memory. It fucking pained me to know I had been minutes away from losing her. The only damn person that ever understood me, and I almost lost her. If I had been only a few minutes too late, all could have been fucking lost. I smiled crookedly, stroking away a strand from her hair from her face and tucking it gingerly behind her ear.
"He thinks I'm suffering from all kinds of things," I said with a deep sigh. "But it wasn't the PTSD he was talking about. I'm pretty sure he was talking about my blackouts."
"You've had them before?"
I nodded.
"Are they dangerous?"
I shrugged.
"As far as I can remember, this is the only time I truly hurt myself during one… I didn't even know I was having them until he pointed it out to me the other day. I think he's known for a while, he asked me if they were becoming more frequent," I muttered, rolling my eyes as I continued with a snort. "Great fucking dad, huh? Letting me fucking suffer without telling me I was. Who the fuck does that? He's a doctor for crying out loud. But instead of telling me that something was wrong with me, he just kept quiet and let me suffer. Fucking sadist."
"How long have you been having them?"
I shrugged again. I didn't fucking know. How the hell do you remember something you can't remember? I hated not knowing, and I could tell by the look in her eyes that she didn't like it either.
"And… you say you weren't even aware of having them until he told you a few days ago?" she asked, and I nodded, wondering where she was going with all this. "You think that maybe he's just… making it up so you'll get paranoid and worried, to make you accept the help he's offering? So you can get help with the PTSD instead?"
Her words made some weird sense, but at the same time I didn't want to believe them. Was my dad seriously trying to trick me into therapy by making me think I was more insane that I already was? Who the fuck does that?
She stroked my cheek, and I felt myself relax. "Or maybe I'm the paranoid one, because my parents are the ones who suck," she said with a sad smile. I chuckled lightly, leaning into her touch. "Maybe we could do some research. There are plenty of good medical books in the library. Maybe we can check it out ourselves, to see if your dad is full of crap or not before jumping to conclusions."
"Sounds good to me," I agreed.
I took a step back. She gripped the shelf next to her instead of me as I bent down to retrieve her crutches. I handed them to her, and she gave me a small smile in response.
"I'm can't wait to get rid of these things," she said. "My arms are killing me."
"You want me to carry you?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"You would like that, wouldn't you?" she teased, rolling her eyes.
I took a step close to her, finding pleasure in the way her breath hitched as my face came closer to hers.
"Oh yes, I would," I said, chastely kissing her lips before taking a step back, giving her some space. I turned towards the door. I was just about to open it when her crutch clattered to the ground again, and her hand flew out to grab my wrist.
"Wait!"
"What?"
"Maybe we shouldn't leave together," she said quietly, avoiding my gaze. "Maybe we should, you know… maybe you should go first, and I'll follow in a few minutes or something?"
I frowned at her words. "Why? You don't want people to see us together or something?"
She smiled humorlessly, letting go of my wrist. "I don't want people to make assumptions."
"Who the fuck cares what they assume?" I almost snapped.
"Please, Edward. Just this once," she pleaded.
I inhaled deeply in frustration and breathed out heavily through my nose.
"Fine," I agreed. "But just this once." I gave her a pointed glance before picking up her crutch and handing it to her again. I resisted the urge to kiss her again too.
I opened the door and peeked out, luckily the halls were empty again, and we could escape together without having anyone seeing us. She kept her distance when we reached the library. There were a few students there, but not as many as she had probably feared. She seemed to know her way around, because she knew exactly where the medical books were. I had no fucking idea what we were even looking for, and since it was pretty clear that she did – and that she was uncomfortable having me around in public – I decided to take a stroll around on my own.
Yes, I had been in the fucking library before, but I had never really checked it out. What was there to check out, anyway? Dusty, old books? Wow, interesting. Almost as interesting as when I got a BJ from some freshmen in one of the aisles with books that nobody ever read. Like ancient shit about myths and legends and…
I stopped.
Legends.
I made my way back to the ancient shit and let eyes wander over the shelves with books. It didn't take long for me to find what I was looking for.
"Quiluete Legends – a Piece of History."
I grabbed the book from the shelf and quickly made my way back to Sparrow. From the looks of it, she'd had some luck in the books department too. She had already found four books that she was trying to balance with one hand as she studied herself on her crutch with the other. I grabbed them from her, and she gave me a timid smile.
"Where were you?" she asked, glancing at me before continuing her search.
"I found a book," I replied.
"Yeah? Where?"
"In the ancient shit section."
"What? You found a medical book there?"
I shook my head.
"Quileute legends," I replied. Her hand, that had been moving to grab a book from the shelf, froze in the air, before she slowly turned to me.
"Why would you be looking for books about… that?" she asked, sounding cautious.
"Maybe we could find a loophole or something," I said, shrugging. "Couldn't hurt to look into what the hell that Black Swan crap is all about, right?"
"A loophole… a loophole for what exactly?" Her voice was tense. She avoided looking at me as she pursed her lips, and I wondered what she was thinking.
"A loophole for anything. A loophole as to why you're not the Black Swan or whatever. Maybe we can find something in this that proves to everyone that you're not the one they're looking for, and your mom will leave you alone," I said.
"You have no idea who you're dealing with, Edward," she said angrily. "You really think these people don't know their own legends? They're the ones that created them for crying out loud! They live and breathe their stupid stories, so of course they know them inside and out. And no freaking book will save me from that."
"But… we can at least look. Where's the harm in that?" I asked.
"The harm in that is getting my hopes up for something I already know won't work out," she replied curtly. She sighed and pulled out another book from the shelf, putting it on top of the others in my arms. She grabbed her crutch that she had leaned against the shelves and steadied herself. "We're done here."
"I'll meet you by your locker?" For some reason it came out as a question, and she barely even nodded at me before she wobbled off.
I didn't fucking understand her. Why was she so opposed to finding out more about the legends? Did she even know what the Black Swan was about, or did she just assume she fit the criteria because the crazy people told her so? To me, it didn't even matter if the book spelled out that Isabella Swan was the Black Swan. There were hundreds, or probably even thousands, of Isabella Swans out there. So what exactly did the legends say that decided that it was my girl that they were looking for?
The librarian looked confused when I put the pile of books on the counter. I left the library and made my way to Sparrow's locker. She was already there waiting, but she was not alone.
Of course not.
Jasper quirked an eyebrow at me as I neared them. Sparrow threw a glance at me over her shoulder before turning back to him. I felt a flash of something highly uncomfortable flaring in my gut, but I tried to squish it down and pretend that it wasn't there. Even though it was.
It really fucking was.
"… to ask them." I only heard the end of Sparrow's sentence, and when I got to them, I narrowed my eyes at Jasper. I remembered our conversation during lunch, so having him talk to her now was a little unnerving.
"Yeah, I think you should," he agreed. "I mean, they should appreciate the help, right?"
"What are you guys talking about?" I asked.
"Jasper just asked if I wanted to ride to school with him from now on, since we're neighbors and all," Bella replied, looking at me. "So the reverend or his wife won't have to."
"That's… nice," I said, forcing a smile as I clenched my teeth. What the fuck is he doing?
"We're all friends here. Right, Eddie?" he said, smirking at me.
"Fuck you, Jazz," I muttered.
"Aren't you a ray of sunshine," he said sarcastically. "Anyway, I'll see you two later."
As he walked passed me, he smirked and gave me a pat on the back. What the fuck was that for?
I turned to Sparrow. "So what did he want?" I asked, my voice harsher than intended. She noticed my tone and raised an eyebrow at me before turning to her locker.
"I told you," she replied, sounding frustrated. "And what is up with you? You're being weird."
"I just don't understand why he would offer, that's all," I replied, again harder and colder than intended. She turned her body to me and looked me dead in the eyes.
"He's your friend, and if you don't want me to ride with him, then I'll tell him so. If that makes you uncomfortable or-"
"It doesn't make me uncomfortable!" I cut her off with a hiss. "I just don't understand why you have to ride with him."
The corner of her mouth twitched, and she had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. The sight annoyed me. What the fuck was she smiling about now?
"Please, tell me this isn't about what we already covered in the closet," she said, raising an eyebrow.
"I can fucking drive you," I muttered, ignoring her comment, and her smile faded.
"Can you?" she asked softly. Even though she was just making a point, it felt like she fucking kicked me in the nuts with that comment. I couldn't fucking drive her. I knew that. But that didn't mean I didn't want to. I did. I wanted to do shit for her. She smiled sadly and turned back to her locker. "Didn't think so."
"You're being a real bitch, you know that?" I asked in annoyance.
"And you're being a douche. What's your point?" she muttered without turning around.
"Fuck you!" I snapped and started walking away from her.
"Edward, c'mon!" she sighed, but I ignored her.
Why the fuck did she have to throw that in my fucking face? Nobody understood my situation, or my aversion to cars, better than she did. So why the hell would she use it against me like that?
Maybe, just maybe, she's trying to help you.
Yeah, right. Helping me how? By pointing out everything that was wrong with me? My father was doing a mighty fine job with that himself, thank you very much.
I passed my locker and grabbed my stuff before heading to the parking lot. I could wait for Emmett in his car. Luckily for me, he hadn't locked it today, and as I got in, I thought back to the conversation I had with Jasper at lunch. I gritted my teeth from the mere memory of it…
Jasper looked furious, and when he told me to join him behind the gym, I knew that this was not the time to make gay jokes. I followed a few steps behind, and when we were out of sight from the rest of the school, he pushed me against the wall. Hard.
"Are you fucking insane?" he said through clenched teeth. "You violate her… then you say you like her? You make me drive you to Port fucking Angeles just so you can violate her and crush her! Was that your plan all along? To destroy her? I find it so funny that you actually looked offended when she denied so profusely that anything was going on between you two. You looked disappointed. Or like the time we picked her up. You were so gentle with her, so caring. I've never seen you look at a girl like that before… Hell, I've never seen you look at anyone like that before. So was that all for show? Damnit, Edward. Maybe you should win an Academy Award for the shit you just pulled."
"What are you talking about?" I managed to croak out before he pushed me again. I hit the wall so hard I almost got the wind knocked out of me. He took a few steps back, and he was fucking seething. He glared at me like I had just killed someone or some shit. He crossed his arms over his chest, his body rigid as he started pacing. I had never seen him like this before.
"I'm talking about Bella. What the fuck did you think I was talking about?" he snapped. "She's my new next door neighbor you know. She lives with the Webers now. And she told me what the fuck you did."
"I already told you what the fuck I did," I retorted, rubbing the spot on my chest that he had hit. He glared at me, and I glared right back.
After the incident with Bella at Kate's house, I had gone back to the couch. I had sat there, listening to her sobs until they quieted down. When they had been completely replaced by her soft breathing of her sleep. I quietly left the apartment and called Jasper. It had been sometime after midnight, but the bastard drove all the way to Port Angeles to pick my sorry ass up anyway. And I told him everything.
Well, not everything.
I told him what I did. How I had basically attacked her, and how I left her lying there, crying all alone. How I felt like shit for doing it. I left out the part where I kind of admitted to her that I had feelings for her, but apparently she had filled in that part for him.
"What did she say?" I asked with a subdued tone.
"She pretty much told me how you told her you liked her after you had already violated her. And how she told you that she wasn't falling for it. At least the chick ain't stupid," he muttered, and he was quite for a moment before he continued. "But you know what the real kicker is? The fact that she is stupid, because she's so attached to you that she trusts you with her life. She told me she regretted not letting you go further, because maybe you would have stayed if she did. How fucked up is that? I don't know how the hell you managed to screw with her brain so badly that she actually believed you, but this shit has got to stop!"
I put all the force I had behind my glare as I stared at him.
"I'm not screwing with her," I growled.
"Your track record with the ladies speaks for itself, Ed," he replied solemnly.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You've seen us together. You've seen how we fucking are together. You know I lo- like her. So what the fuck are you bitching about now? What changed?"
Jasper looked at me, his lips twisting into a dark version of his usual lazy smirk.
"Nothing changed, except that you thought it was a good idea to get intimate with a traumatized girl. You really think it's a good idea trying to get into her pants just because you've realized you have feelings for her? You ever heard of taking it slow?" he asked.
I snorted. "I like the girl, alright? It's fucking natural to be screwing like bunnies if you like someone. You're fucking Alice, aren't you?" I retorted.
"Oh, you're so fucking blind," he sighed. "And stupid. Relationships aren't about screwing like bunnies!"
"We're not in a relationship!" I argued.
He shook his head as he said, "Relationships are about … just hanging out and enjoying each other's company. And wasn't that exactly what you said you guys were doing? Just enjoying each other's company? And now you have feelings for her… so why the hell wouldn't you be in a relationship?"
"I don't understand why the hell you're so upset," I said with a deep sigh. "This doesn't even concern you."
"Well, when you told me what you did on the ride back, I assumed you were exaggerating, because that's what you do. But when she told me, it was pretty clear that you weren't," he replied. "And I assume you know how I feel about situations where girls are… I don't even need to end that sentence, do I?" He raised an eyebrow at me, almost as he was daring me to disagree.
I didn't.
He was right. I knew. I knew exactly how he felt about girls being taken advantage of, or girls that thought they had to do something to keep the guy around. I knew all about it, because that was exactly how Rosalie lost her virginity. She was practically raped by a guy she thought was the love of her life. It was a sore topic for Jasper, and he rarely talked about it. Rosalie pretended that it never even happened at all. It was easier for all of us if we just pretended.
So when he talked about me like I was no better than the guy who did that to Rose, it was like a kick in the fucking nuts – or like he had ripped them off altogether.
I was not a fucking rapist.
"You take advantage of girls, or at least you used to," he continued with a faraway tone. "But those girls knew exactly what they were doing. You took advantage of them just as they took advantage of you. But this is different. Bella is different. She may know about your reputation, but I doubt she knows exactly how you work in that department… she doesn't know, and by not knowing you can easily take advantage of her innocence and hurt her. She's been hurt enough."
He shuffled his feet and took a deep calming breath. All the earlier anger and aggravation was gone, and he was back to being Jasper. He looked at me, and he smiled darkly – but not in anger this time.
"You should have heard the rumors," he said. "The things people say about her mom and dad. About her. So damn vicious. Tanya was being extra mean about it, so I told her off. I told her to shut her trap, or I would shut it for her. I told her that if anyone ever said anything about Bella again, or as much as looked at her when she got back, they would have to answer to me… and that she better spread the word." His smirk grew darker. "And I think I succeeded, because nobody has said a word to her today. Everybody left her alone. One less problem for her to think about."
"So, what now? You're taking Emmett's place as her bodyguard or something?" I asked sarcastically. "What happened to being Switzerland?"
He rolled his eyes and sighed.
"I'm Switzerland in the fight between you and Emmett. I've already told you that a thousand times," he said. "This is bigger than just some petty fight between two brothers about who has the most pride. This is about a girl who needs some damn support."
"I thought you agreed with me a few weeks ago that we weren't supposed to get involved," I muttered."That we should keep our distance and just let her fucking be."
"Yeah, and how did that work out for ya?" he replied smugly.
The driver's door opened, and I jumped in surprise. The sound effectively removed me from the memory of the conversation. Emmett got in and gave me a curious look.
"Jumpy," he noted as he started the car. "What are those?" He nodded towards the books in my lap as he pulled out from the parking space.
"They're called books, Emmett. You read them," I replied sarcastically.
"Wow? You can read? No shit." He laughed.
"Har har, very funny, dickface," I muttered.
We stopped by the store first to pick up a few things, and when we were back on the road, I realized he wasn't driving us home.
"Where're we going?" I asked.
"Jasper's," he replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We're hanging out, and I just assumed you were in. Or you want me to drop you off at home or something?"
"No, it's cool."
On the drive there, I noticed how careful Emmett was when he drove now. He kept below the speed limit. He made soft turns, and he never just stomped on the breaks as he usually did. Everything he did was smooth and soft. I gave him a weird look, but he didn't notice because he kept a serious eye on the road. I wondered if I was supposed to ask if he was all right or something, because my brother never drove like this.
Had he driven like to school this morning too? I couldn't remember. I guess I just never thought about it. I had been so tired this morning, my mind preoccupied with more important shit – like Bella – and not passing the fuck out because I was sitting in a damn car. The last thing on my mind was his driving skills.
When we got to the Jasper's house, I glanced at the Webers' house next door, wondering what Bella was up to. Was she home yet? Was she studying? Was she watching TV? Was she… crying? Did I hurt her? Was she mad at me?
I sighed and looked away as I followed Emmett to the Hales' front door. He rang the doorbell and it didn't take long for Rosalie to open it. She grabbed Emmett's hand and immediately dragged him upstairs. I didn't comment on them because Rosalie looked like crap, and she never looked like crap unless something was wrong. I knew better than to get in her way then.
I heard that the TV was on in the basement, and I figured Jasper was there. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I noticed that he wasn't alone. Bella was sitting across from him by the seating area, her casted leg rested on the coffee table between them. They both looked up when the last step creaked under my weight.
"Hey, dude, didn't know you were coming," Jasper said casually.
"Me neither," I replied. "Emmett drove me here." I frowned as I looked at Bella. "I didn't know you'd be here." Hurt flashed across her face, and she immediately looked down at her hands in her lap.
"I can leave," she said with a quiet voice. Jasper glared at me, and I sighed. I didn't fucking want her to leave. I didn't say anything as I walked over to the couch she was sitting on and sat down next to her.
"You're not leaving," I replied, putting my feet on the table and crossing them by the ankles. "I'm sure this couch is big enough for the both of us."
"I'm gonna go and get us some snacks. I'll be right back," Jasper said, not very subtly as he was obviously going to give us some privacy. I sat still until I heard the basement door shut, and then I turned to her.
I didn't even think as I put my hands on either side of her face and leaned in. I pressed my lips to hers, and I didn't force her to make it evolve into something else. I just needed to kiss her.
I leaned back and took her hand in mine, holding it in my lap.
"That's my way of telling you I'm sorry I was a douche," I explained to her.
"Apology accepted," she said, giving me a nod. I quirked an eyebrow at her, and she looked back innocently.
"What? You're not gonna apologize too?" I asked.
"What do I have to apologize for?" she replied, looking at me confused. I opened my mouth to reply, but no damn words came out. What the hell did she have to apologize for? She smirked at me. She fucking smirked at me. "Thought so," she said.
"You think you're so smart, don't you?" I muttered.
Her smirk faded, and she looked away.
"Can't say that I do," she replied.
I rested my arm on the back of the couch, stroking her neck with my fingers.
"Should we take a look at those books? You have them with you?" she asked quietly, changing the subject. "Maybe we can find out something about your blackouts."
"Yeah, they're in the car. But I'd rather look in that other book," I said, nudging her.
"We've been through this," she said with a deep sigh. "Give it up. Stop being so stubborn."
"You're one to talk," I muttered.
"I'm stubborn because we can actually help you. But me? I'm already a lost cause. Why should we waste our time on something I already know won't work out?" she asked.
"C'mon, Sparrow, don't be like that," I sighed, stroking her cheek.
"Be like what? Realistic?"
I groaned. There was no winning with her. I pressed my lips to her hair, before getting up from the couch.
"Where you going now?" she asked.
"Getting the damn books," I said. "Because apparently you want to become a doctor," I added under my breath.
I went back to the car and got the books. When I passed the kitchen on my way back down to the basement, I found Jasper taking his sweet time making us sandwiches. He was going so slow he was practically doing it in reverse. He gave me a lazy smirk, and I scowled at him.
"Have the lovebirds made up?" he chuckled.
"Fuck you," I muttered. "What is she even doing here?"
"Alice asked if she wanted to hang out," Jasper replied with an innocent voice.
"And where is Alice?"
"At home," he replied, smiling.
"You're an idiot," I muttered, turning around and heading back to the basement.
"At least I'm not blind!" he called after me, and I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me.
Bella hadn't moved from the spot where I'd left her, and I put the books on the table before plopping down next to her. I rested both my arms on the back of the couch as I glanced at her.
She was staring at the pile of books – the one about the legends was on top. Her bottom lip quivered as she stared at it, as if it was insulting her by just being there. By the way she was looking at it, you would have thought that she thought that it was going to catch on fire if she just stared at it long enough.
"It's not gonna bite ya," I told her. She glanced at me, fear evident in her eyes.
"You really want to read it?" she asked in a small voice. "You really want to know exactly how crazy these people are?"
"I want to know what the fuck we're dealing with. I want to know why the fuck they think you're the Black Swan. What it entails and why your mom had to cut you because of it. What it was in the legend that said that it was okay to almost kill your own damn daughter."
"Edward…" she said almost pleadingly.
I reached for the book and put it between us so it was resting on her leg and mine. I smiled reassuringly at her.
"There's no harm in looking, right?" I said, stroking her cheek.
"We're only reading to find out what it's about… right?" she asked. "No loopholes. Just… facts."
I smiled at her and nodded.
"Just facts."
She took a deep breath and her body tensed, almost as if she was preparing for battle. I opened the book, silently hoping that it would give us something to smile about.
I turned the pages, which had turned yellow with time, until I found what we were looking for. I threw a glance at Bella before reading the first passage out loud.
"'The daughter of the Wise One will be the one to form an unbreakable bond between the family of the Swan and the family of the Alpha. The daughter of the Wise One will wear feathers which are not her own. The son of the Alpha will wear black as it is his own,'" I read, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. What the hell did that mean?
"'The Spirit of the Black Swan cannot rise until a sacrifice has been made. When the Spirit is satisfied, it will grant eternal happiness and health to the family of the Swan and the family of the Alpha. When the families have been united, the Spirit will rise. A baby will be bo-"
I never even got to finish the sentence, because Bella grabbed the book and closed it so fast that the dust that had been covering some of the pages flew up in our faces. Bella threw the book away; it landed on the other couch, bouncing a few times before it hit the floor with a loud thud.
"Please, please, please… please tell me that I did not just read what I think I just read. Do they honestly think I'm going to have a baby with Jacob? Is that the Black Swan?" she asked, her voice barely audible, she was speaking so quietly.
"Oh, please," I said, grabbing her chin so she would look at me instead of the book on the floor. "You'll never have his puppies. Don't worry."
She met my gaze.
"I don't want to read anymore. I don't want to read that book ever again," she said. "I don't even understand it… all I understood was baby. Who is the wise one? And why would I be his or her daughter?"
"Yeah, these legends are starting to make less and less sense," I agreed. "But you have nothing to worry about, because they're all bullshit. The La Push morons are just a bunch of crack pipe hippies, making shit up to entertain themselves. Not caring that people get hurt because of it."
I looked her straight in the eyes, hoping that my words would comfort her some, but what left her mouth next proved the opposite.
"Did you find your loophole?" she asked, sounding bitter.
I smiled crookedly and shrugged.
"Depends on if you're the daughter of the Wise One or not. For some reason I don't think either of your parents fit that description. Your mom is batshit crazy, and your dad is an idiot. There is nothing wise about them."
"They haven't always been like this, you know," she mumbled. "They used to be good."
"Yeah? But now they aren't. Who cares about the past? It's what happens now that matters. We can't change the past. The past is fucking irrelevant. Now is important."
She sighed, and I let go of her chin, luckily she didn't turn away her gaze.
"Maybe you're the wise one," she said with a sad smile.
"Fuck that, no daughter of mine is ever breeding with a damn dog," I snorted.
She slowly lifted her hands, letting them rest by my neck, and she softly stroked the sides of my neck with her thumbs. It felt good. Her hands felt fucking fantastic, and she wasn't even doing anything. Not really.
"Kiss me," she whispered.
"My pleasure," I replied, closing the distance between us in no time.
A part of me told me that she was just trying to change the subject, but another part of me said, "Screw that." I kissed her as passionately as I dared, but my body kept screaming for more. It didn't take long at all until my dick was straining, almost painfully, against the confines of my jeans. It was fucking embarrassing. No girl had ever made my body react this strongly before.
I really tried to keep my hands in places that were totally Disney, but when Bella accidentally moaned into my mouth, it was fucking impossible to think about appropriate places to keep my hands, especially when they were itching to go somewhere a little more south of the border.
The way we were sitting, with her leg still resting on the table, made it impossible for us to go horizontal. Which was probably a good thing. But fuck, we didn't need to go horizontal…
"If we fucked against a wall, we wouldn't need to think about your leg." I moaned into her mouth.
She froze instantly, her mouth not responding to my kisses anymore. I slowly pulled back and looked at her, suddenly feeling terrified myself as I realized exactly what words just left my mouth.
"Oh, fuck, Sparrow… I didn't mean… fuck… yeah I meant… but not now!" I spluttered.
I stared at her, anxiously waiting for her response, when I realized she wasn't even looking at me anymore.
"Oh, sweet Lord, I sure hope not. But if you do, please make sure it's your own damn wall."
Now it was my time to freeze. My eyes were still on Bella and I didn't need to turn around to see who had caught us. I took a shaky breath, and without turning my head, I said as casually as I could, "Ever heard of knocking, Rosalie?"