Total Drama X: Ultimate Islands!
Episode 22: Pahkitew's Drama Hunters
Part 2: Mutant Cutters
Will Coachman be consistent? idk and i'm writing this thing, and so, here are the teams!
Team Giant Beaver (CC): Riley Freeman, Muscle Man, Bayonetta and Catalina
Team Pterodactyl (FF): Miko, Rapunzel, Mikasa & Sakura Kusagano
Team Scuba Bear (FF): Pit, Giovanni, Mai Shiranui & Pinstripe Potoroo
Team E-Scope (FF): Azula, Yumeko, Ochako Uraraka & Mystique Sonia
Team Sasquatchwanakwa (CC): Kyo, Yuri Sakazaki, Tanya & Samus
Team Rhino (FF): Iori Yagami, Sol Badguy, Clover & Deadpool
Team Fang (CC): Tails, Reg, Sokka & Lowain
Team Lawson (CC): Joseph, Ryuko, Terry Bogard & Tiana
Team Laser Squirrel (FF): Leshawna, Crimson, Squirrel Girl & Hsien-Ko
Team Giant Geese (CC): Mr. Smee, Tanjiro, Kugisaki Nobara & Heavy
Team Goat Fliers (FF): Coachman, Rock, Kipo & Basil
Team Fighting Josh (CC): Scott, Tifa, Cassie & Shego
Team Feral Zeke (CC mostly): Snake, Nicole, Dante, & Samurai Jack
There be the teams and there's going to be a lot of crazy stuff happening this episode, since Dante's literally on the enemy team, Azula's out for revenge (twice) and Tanya's alliance is going wild in the next two parts!
Also, the Infinitely Ultimate Short Break happened and it is out now and trust me, it is one of the Christmas specials of all time with Infinite characters (and a few Bon Voyage people to boot!)
Also, also, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, 'cause the chapters are going to come out faster...even if it's likely to only be slightly faster and I'm glad that you guys (the two reviewers) appreciated it and honestly after the special, I feel like talking about these is talking about a pre-timeskip thing.
Memeking: Yeah, these guys are gonna need their weapons to defend themselves...especially since they're not allowed to kill either the mutated or mechanical animals.
1602jaw: I know that Pit and Miko's odd relationship is going through some stuff, but that's not really for this part. Also, Reg's gonna need a whole new body for Fang and if Scott was here, Fang would give him a makeover of the malicious kind.
"Welcome back to these crazy, crazy teams hunting down the freaks and big animals, a real revenge of the campers if you will!" Chris did his thing, before starting to get mad. "Did someone take my stuff?!"
The 14 or so teams realised that...some of the animals were clearly irradiated, as there was one question that a lot of people was gonna ask.
"Don't ask how, but some of these guys don't have any radiation! They're also mad!" Chris announced. "Watch out, hahahaha!"
"Why is he so mean about everything?" Uraraka asked. "We could get serious injured."
"I doubt it...if you're competent." Azula answered. "Catching someone like that requires a good plan."
"Okay, then what is your plan?"
"Hold up, I've watched a good amount of Total Drama, so it is very hard, but not impossible." Yumeko said. "Izzy does like a good fight and more importantly, doing random stuff that works somehow."
Mystique Sonia and Uraraka were surprised, as Azula was impressed by the gambling girl's less surprising knowledge, the quartet hiding behind a massive tree.
*Ochako Uraraka's confessional*
"Even if I'm stuck with two crazy people and my friend, they're all smart people, so maybe we'll get immunity together if they decide to be better people. But I'm sure Azula's a villain, so I don't think that's happening for her." Uraraka told the confessional, as she picked up something. "Wait, what's in here?"
*Confessional cut*
As for the team of dudes, they were dudeing it up on the Dock of Shame, figuring that the very real smell of shame would attract the borderline sadistic walking shark.
"Here, Fangy, Fangy, Fangy! Come out, walking shark!" Sokka called out, as he had a massive fishing line out.
"I don't think it's gonna work, man, you're thinking like a fisher bro!" Lowain just went out of the water. "The fox guy did say that Fang likes feet."
"I don't believe because feet's digusting!"
"I know, Sokka, but Fang's disgusting himself."
Sokka and Lowain were the duo, as Tails and Reg were the other duo, as the the fox and the robot were genuinely analysing where Fang was and that was a bit rough...
...when Reg just put his stretchy arm out there and he got a bite on his arm, which wasn't small either, as the robot kid was genuinely struggling to pull it out.
Unsuprisingly, he nor Tails could pull it out alone.
And together with Sokka and Lowain, they managed to pull out Fang, who was genuinely salivating for some more fresh meat (truthful to boot!) and the shark may or may not have willing get pulled out.
"LET GO, REG!" Tails screamed in his ear. "Please!"
"I would if I could!" Reg shouted, as he was waving his arm around, making Fang slightly more loose.
"Shake it some more!" Sokka panicked, as he swung his boomerang. "Shake it."
Reg panicked and stopped swinging his right arm, as Fang got knocked by the boomerang, knocked back into the water, as the quartet calmly hid in a bush that was more than a considerable distance away.
Fang was a walking shark with arms...that just held Sokka's boomerang.
"NOOOO, boomerang!" Sokka shouted. "Whatever that is took Fang!"
Reg's arm had a bit of a bite mark, as Lowain and Tails were just looking at each other very nervously, as the team realised what they were up.
*Tails' confessional*
Tails was both very shocked and disappointed.
"Wow, watching this show and being on this show are practically opposite experiences. Watching this made me want to go on this show, being on this makes me want to go back home." Tails answered, clearly away from the scares of Fang.
*Confessional cut*
In other news, Coachman and Basil were on the same team and that was incredible for the host with the most...and that was about it, as the team was frosty.
"Hello, fellow British people, what is good! I'm so excited to meet...Josh, who is-" Kipo just looked at the picture of the mutated intern. "-I'm gonna be honest, what are we doing?"
"The challenge, man...which is like keerrrsh..." Rock imitated a heart ripping sound. "...to anyone who lives! Seriously, though, he can fly, right?"
"I guess?" Kipo asked. "Is this guy even real?"
"Yeah. Soul-crushing ain't it?" Rock asked. "But I bet Coachman would be fine with it!"
Kipo and Rock looked at each other like they were about to snipe a child, while Basil was wondering what kind of sick trick they were about to do and Coachman was unimpressed.
"I am not, but I guess it's another ludicurous challenge that's trying to stop me...which will not work!" Coachman grumbled. "Even if I have this rat with me."
"Come on, you're too old to be provoking, man! We're fighting a mutant and putting into a cage." Rock answered.
"This is quite the inhumane challenge to be doing for monetary gain! Why this man specifically?" Basil asked, as the team were actually following behind Kipo.
"...I don't know, but we're not killing him." Coachman argued, despite his mood not being in that state. "We get that thing and take him to Chris."
Rock, Kipo and Basil just stopped the conversation, as the trio just wisely stopped the conversation.
*Basil's confessional*
The mouse was quite indignant.
"Quite the conversation would you say. Besides, unless Chris has a way of helping that man, which he definitely has, this challenge will be nothing but a sadist's way to having a fun time."
*Confessional cut*
The four of them were just carefully walking into the usual belly of the beast, as there was definitely...broken rocks in the place, as the quartet was genuinely walking they were about to leak some Total Drama secrets.
For some reason.
"Man..."
Rock looked at his teammates.
"...do you think that the sword is that great?"
"I guess so, only literally." Basil answered, as the mouse was steeled to capture some guy. "The blatant absurdity of this challenge...is something."
The quartet then...slowly arrived at the other side of the short cave with some very tall grass, as the goats were definitely around here somewhere, Coachman just casually swinging it around.
"We're fighting some freaky goats, so don't hurt them, please!" Kipo shouted. "Even if they can't talk, it's a weird wildlife thing."
Rock silently agreed with that, as he was paired up with the mouse and...the opportunity provided to their close quarters.
"Are you like a detective mouse or just a mouse that solves crime?" Rock asked, as Basil just pinched his nose. "Weird question, but man, it needs answers."
"Yes...I am a detective." Basil answered...distinctly hearing some wings. "...Be careful."
"Oh...AAAAA-"
Rock got flown up by one of them, as the legendary flying goat was flying right above them...with its crew, as the rest of the team was either scared or...amused?
"Uh, dude, get me down!" Rock screamed, as Basil was trying to think of a way. "Why are you smiling, dude?!"
Coachman didn't even dignify the answer.
*Coachman's confessional*
He just had a good laugh.
"I know that these are real, but the way that the idiot rocker got flown up is right out of a comedy. Tragic really, that I still do not care how he is doing or how he's going to get his clothes bitten!" Coachman quite casually smiled.
*Confessional cut*
There was two teams that was looking at the odd man out of their hunting crew, as the single big-ish boat carried seven Capybaras who were all about their team, none of them excited to see Dante just parked up for seemingly no reason.
Those mutants were still on Boney Island, considering that Feral Zeke and Josh both made their home there.
"Move or you'll swim with the fishes!" Samus shouted, taking a swipe at Dante.
"Samus, that's crazy...just because he's not a part of our team?" Tifa asked. "Calm down, sister."
"For what it's worth, he doesn't like us either." Samus remarked.
"Yeah, but what the fuck was that? I'd rather be anywhere but your team, but it is what it is." Dante answered aggressively, not so pleased with the arrangement.
"Yes...it do be like that."
Dante put down his sword.
Tifa saw Samus stand down, as Samurai Jack, Nicole and almost the rest of them were more focused on making their way to Boney Island, which was marked on the excellently written map.
"I can't believe that you two were gonna fight! Would've watched that." Shego complained, rowing her way towards, as Samus scoffed.
"Listen lady, let's just get immunity and I don't want to deal with you guys again!" Dante stated.
The double boat finally docked with all eight unexpected teammates, both teams splitting up into their groups of four and was ready to hit the epicentre of craziness that was the Fun Zone...
...lacking radiation, but making it up with the wildest wildlife.
*Dante's confessional*
The demon hunter was ready to get crazy with mutant people.
"Man, I miss this place! Crazy animals, whatever kind of bullshit you'd probably think of...oh, it's here and it's like a theme park of nature. Except with radiation, so it's like a nuclear party."
*Confessional cut*
The team with Dante wasn't that weird.
'
In comparison to the team that had to deal with the Giant Geese, as Tanjiro, Heavy, Mr. Smee and Kugisaki Nobara were all trying their best to throw some random stuff at geese that could easily tank them.
It was rather literal, too, as they were in the middle of the wetter areas of Pahkitew, being a psuedo-wetlands area.
"We're going to die of not fun!" Smee shouted.
"Come on, this is fun, you're just a wuss!" Nobara swung a baseball at the goose.
In other news, Pit's team managed to find Scuba Bear in the same area and some epic commentary was to be heard.
"The majestic robot bear thing scares the heck out of the very real wildlife, obliviously looking ridiculous out in these wetlands." Pit said, as Giovanni smirked at him. "And the two biggest hunters have stuff in their hearts."
"Well said, Angelhair..but I know Ninja Wife & Mob Weasel are getting the jump on that bear." Giovanni declared, as the other two were high up. "Why no shouting, though?"
"The bear's gonna hear us."
"Good thinking, Angelhair!"
Pit and Giovanni were looking at each other ready to get the jump, as Pinstripe Potoroo was hanging up on the tree with Mai actually observing the bear.
The mobster mammal looked at the bear, trying to get on Mai's wavelength and there was definitely one thing that spooked him...
...he got the feeling of being watched by somebody, but it was nothing compared to Giovanni doing the usual plan-throwing and coming in with smoke.
"I teleported right in front of you-" Giovanni got picked up by Mai, who saw the bear creating a shockwave slam that shook Pit a bit.
"Wait, can't the bear do other stuff?!" Mai shouted.
*Mai's confessional*
She realised that the bear had the Elimination Card.
"...Does it have to one of those wacky cards?" Mai asked. "...I know the answer."
*Confessional cut*
Right now, Pit decided that it was go time despite Giovanni not being in go positioned in go position and that was when Scuba Bear revealed some claws that threw away his weapons.
"I've gotta-"
Pit was now down on the ground and Scuba Bear was in position to make him stuck forever.
And in other, other news, surprisingly, since they were throwing a bunch of stuff, the team that had to deal with the Canadian geese and unsurprisingly, when Heavy managed to throw Tanjiro...stuff got liberally cooked and that didn't help team Giant Geese.
"Did you have to throw the only intelligent guy on the geese?" Nobara asked.
"...No, because he's country man." Heavy answered, as he pulled out the sandwich. "Ah, lunch."
"Screw your lunch!" Nobara threw the sandwich...a great distance with her hammer.
At random.
*Tanjiro's confessional*
He was shocked, not even sure what to think or what to-
"We're on the same team, right?!"
*Confessional cut*
With one thing, this team basically destroyed all of the other teams, as they were in the very deep forest and borderline on the side of a cliff, as they had determination, one-liners and most of all...
...the total lack of teamwork that somehow made two of the beavers just got stuck to the wall pin themselves up against the wall, as the giant beavers were somehow making mincemeat out of both Riley and Catalina said.
"Are you stupid, huh! That's not even a real animal!" Catalina shouted.
"Shut up, shut up, it's scared of us! Please don't fuck around!" Riley shouted, as Bayonetta just pinched her nose. "Don't come around my hood."
"It's gonna go up in your face."
"...And what, nigga? I'm still better than you."
While that was happening, the beavers were obviously revealed to be real, which didn't stop Bayo and Muscle Man from trying to be animal whisperers...which they were not.
"Come on, bro, help us out for the challenge, bruh, we even got some wood!" Muscle Man borderline screamed, as Bayonetta sighed. "DO SOMETHING, LADY!"
"Calm your man-tits, those beavers already have wood." Bayonetta answered, as she had some random nature stuff.
"What if they need more, obviously?!"
"Can you please let us ride on top of you and more importantly, make sure that these three don't do anything stupid? I'm not asking..."
Bayonetta pulled out her gun.
"...I'm demanding."
The four of them then rode the beavers down to whever they wanted to go, as these beavers were spooked and Muscle Man was just enjoying riding the giant beavers, as noted by his multiple "WOOO!" sounds.
"Whoa, we did it! Now all we need to find some cage and put this thing into it!" Muscle Man bragged. "Let me handle this!"
"Okay, how do we send giant beavers into a cage?" Bayonetta asked. "No-one's ever done this or will do this again...and also, you're pointing the wrong way."
"...Sure."
Muscle Man said that, as he was skidding the beaver into some very cramped spaces, as the other three were working with the very slippery and very mad gigantic beaver that was going around.
...Unsurprisingly, it worked out weirdly well, as the beaver actually came up to where the cages were and the contestants were also in the mix, as there was the host and the cages.
"Bruh, get us out!" Muscle Man shouted.
"Nah, nigga, we won, so we're immune to the business!" Riley declared.
"As much as you're team number one...you're kinda stuck in a cage with an angry mom beaver, so I'll see that!" Chris announced. "Also, stop saying the n-word."
"Okay, but it's part of my vocab, so that I'm not saying a bunch of words." Riley stated. "We're number one, guys and nothing's going to change that."
"Fuck you, you didn't do a single thing and you're still a kid. Come back when you actually do something." Catalina argued.
"Bruh, I'm not even gonna lie. I don't care that we got an easy win...we're eating good anyways." Riley said.
"...Why are you still here?"
Muscle Man and Bayonetta just looked at the grown woman shouting at the kid and sighed, as they were still stuck in the cage and were about to get some mauling.
*Catalina's confessional*
The Latina criminal was still so very tired.
"There's no way that this kid should still be in the competition, because he doesn't know how hard it is to be in here with some of the most annoying people in reality TV." Catalina complained. "And he's annoying!"
*Confessional cut*
With the first out of the 17 or so teams finished with their hunt, things could have been going better...especially for Team Geese, which was having trouble with Tanjiro.
"How are you stuck there?! You have sword!" Heavy shouted, forgetting that he held his sword for a second.
"I don't have sword, you have sword, but I'm stuck!" Tanjiro yelled.
"Stuck? You, stuck?" Heavy asked, as Tanjiro frantically nodded, as he was now...stopped with the goose. "I don't have solution, since Sasha would kill animal."
"Yeah, Chris didn't want the animals to be dead! Just alive." Tanjiro said, as he kinda jumped out of the mouth with a ton of mucus. "And how do we do that?"
"Bread." Smee stated. "Ducks like bread, I think and this is a big one."
"It's a geese...geezer." Nobara said, coming in with a bunch of bread. "But it's the best that we have and I don't know where I found-"
"Let's just throw it." Smee just grabbed a chunk of bread, as the goose went in his very direction. "Or not."
Tanjiro, Heavy and Nobara was free to do whatever they wanted, just so long as Smee was protected from the giant goose that was on his ass and ready to eat that piece of bread.
And since the goose smelled some mo' bread, they finally had a plan of sorts, as Heavy grabbed his sandwich at another inopportune time to further aid their plan...of just getting there, which didn't work out too well.
Tanjiro somehow ended up on top of the goose and that was the end of Team Geese's story.
*Nobara's confessional*
The sorcerer was back on her bullshit.
"Okay, so, we got lost for a whole half-hour, found a goose that hates us and at least two of us got eaten by the giant thing! Finally, a good challenge to take on...as long as my clothes don't get touched!" Nobara was enthusiastic about the crazy challenge.
*Confessional cut*
Deadpool was just straight up throwing words at the Rhino, who was trying to not bother with the merc with the mouth...since the mercenary literally ran out of stuff to throw.
"Stop, he's super mad already!" Clover shouted, doing a little something.
"Nah, he's not mad enough to let me ride on top of him to victory!" Deadpool declared, ready to send some people to their deaths.
The four of them were close to the cages, but the rhino didn't want to be in a cage for obvious reasons (aside from being placed in Muskoka and in Chris's clutches.) and so the fight continued on.
Both of the teams that contained seven members of the Chill Capybaras and Dante were on Boney Island and they really got into making their way towards the epicentre of the island, considering that was the only place that those two mutants were.
Surprisingly, there was no animal that stopped their progress at all and not even the smallest animal stopped their journey.
"What the hell's up with this island? It's really easy." Dante remarked.
"News flash genius, they've got something ready." Shego had her enegy on her hands.
"Yeah, but it's still bugs me!"
"Great, don't care."
Dante was pretty much stoic, as was all of them besides an overconfident Scott.
"You have no idea how strong I am!" Scott bragged, as Tifa kinda rolled her eyes at the comment. "Seriously!"
"To be fair, we don't exactly know how strong this goofy guy is." Tifa stated.
"I'm at least pretty strong!" Scott said.
"That's not really debatable. The better question is how strong these freaky mutants are." Cassie continued what Tifa was saying, as she nodded. "Zeke apparently's a plant now."
"I bet he's not! He's not stronger than me!"
"Scott, we don't exactly have much info other than he's a plant now." Snake remarked, as Dante was spinning his sword around and Scott kept his in his heart.
*Samurai Jack's confessional*
He had quite the serious face.
"The more that this show goes on, the more that I think that Chris must have some bizarre powers to avoid justice because that isn't normal." Jack said.
*The host with the most's confessional*
"For the record, I don't know how Zeke got cloned, but I do know that you guys back at home are gonna love this!"
*Confessional cut*
Speaking of guys at home, the team that had to deal with flying goats were...technically a team with three out of its four members, but the fourth member was...something.
That wasn't Rock, who was genuinely flying his way towards some place, seeing that team laser squirrel were doing a surprisingly good job, owing to Crimson and Hsien-Ko being real scary with said squirrel and Squirrel Girl being a delegate for the bootleg monster hunters.
"Damn, those two can beat a challenge!" Rock remarked. "Goat dude, I know you can't understand me, but can you please drop-"
And Rock was dropped just like that.
And fell for a good twenty seconds until he got caught by Kipo, who immediately landed on the ground with an scowl.
"Why are you so mad?" Rock asked. "You just saved me."
"Coachman just said if the goat flies to where Chris is then we shouldn't rescue you."
"...Uh?"
Rock couldn't even make a sound.
"That's just dumb."
"I know that it is! But the goat's still hanging around here." Rock definitely saw the goat was going for a taunt. "Someone please get it?"
Kipo then turned into a half-jaguar that Rock was freaked out by for a second, as Basil finally caught up with the two of them by running, which was for a very good reason.
"No need to get the goat. We already have one." Basil stated, as a goat followed him and his special grass. "Radiation did this?"
"Yeah." Rock remarked off-handedly.
"...Fascinating, but terrible."
Finally, the old man with terrible takes and even worse running speed arrived and everybody looked at him with some disdain, since the goat slowly backed away from him.
"Well that actually worked. If you people would listen, maybe this challenge would be finished a while ago, but-" Coachman saw Rock look angrily at him. "-It was a suggestion!"
"Man, let's just get this goat into the cage, creepy old man!" Rock shouted, tired of the villain's bullshit.
Where were they, actually?
On top of a cliff or something, as there was definitely a way down, but in classic MacLean fashion, it was filled with stuff that a flying goat would hate.
*Coachman's confessional*
He was simply *ecstatic*
"Oh good, not only does the challenge require NONE of my skills, but the people that I'm with absolute revile me for an off-hand comment about the goat going where it needs to go." Coachman said, taking all of his strength to not spill his anger. "Besides, I knew the goat was going to where Chris is."
*Confessional cut*
Back on Boney Island, the eight dudes were finally in the catacombs that housed both Plant Zeke and Josh, who were trying to do a little something...aside from realising that two teams finished in second and third.
"Second place goes to you, team Giant Geese! Third place, team Laser Squirrel." Chris announced. "And so far, it looks like that some teams are gonna bottom out hilariously!"
"Not gonna lie, Squirrel Girl being on a team to catch a squirrel must be harrowing for her! Besides the laser thing." Nicole said.
"For the record, she's actually excited for the challenge." Dante remarked. "And apparently still is."
"Huh, I thought your team was a variety pack of terrible people-" Nicole stated.
"-One third of it absolutely is, no lies there."
Dante and Nicole stopped their conversation when they realised the other six players were in very odd grass, as though it wasn't supposed to grow in this very bizarre island of radiation and psychic flowers and said grass moved slowly.
Hobbling together into a very distinct bunch of leaves, a silhouette of grass and some other plants that didn't look like it would both hide a mutated intern down on his luck and turn into.
"Holy shit, it's Zeke and Josh!" Cassie yelled, readying themselves. "Stand down, mutated fellas!"
"Chris fucked you over right? Join us and we might help you." Shego said. "I want Chris to get some payback."
Cassie and Shego had their weapons out, so...
"Not really, man! We've literally seen Chris do some necromancy, him going to jail would be kinda impossible." Josh said. "Also, he sent you guys to put me into a cage."
"...Yeah, what do you want?" Shego threatened the former intern.
"Honestly, not much. Zeke, can we just go with them-" Josh literally got punched in the face by Zeke. "-If we fight them, we're literally playing in Chris' hands."
"Cool, I'm looking for one anyways!" Scott said, as Shego was ready to send a punch towards Zeke, who instantly grabbed her with his newfound vines.
Scott managed to get grappled as well by said vines, as Zeke was in for a fight.
"Why? You guys have gone through enough shit-Zeke, dude-" Josh practically got thrown by Zeke into Shego...
...as the mutant intern got the powerful gut check straight from Nicole, as he was knocked down for a moments...with Shego and Scott still being stuck in Zeke's vines to boot.
Nicole was ready to make moves in an incredibly packed cake full of people, as she shot an energy ball right in the direction of Zeke, who took the hit and kinda blew apart.
Cassie was shocked, Tifa wasn't that surprised and...there was something in the air.
"Please tell me we didn't rip Zeke's head off." Cassie said.
"...Who knows." Tifa said, as Zeke's head came back on. "...WHAT THE FUCK!"
"Yeah, this show." Cassie was going to say more, but...nothing came out.
Cassie finally witnessed Josh getting up, as then she decided to prepared her best move with the Glow, ready to slide onto the guy and then Zeke literally captured her.
*Cassie's confessional*
The soldier wasn't impressed.
"I know what Josh's problem is, but what is actually Zeke's problem? Even his clone clearly hates his show, so why is he fighting us, who...do they have a TV?" Cassie asked.
*Josh's confessional*
He actually kinda info on this season.
"...Wow, Zeke really did get cloned. Clones are weird, for the record." Josh said, displeased. "And so is Chris."
*Confessional cut*
"Look at those guys! They're really hunters of the best kind and so far, three teams have finished their thing and there's still a bunch of teams that are-"
The screams of a whole team barely missing the cages could be heard, as there was definitely a rhino and four people that haven't been featured in the chapter yet.
"-chasing their animal or causing drama somehow, so, it was-"
"Dude, I got a line in! It's over-"
"-SHUT UP, DEADPOOL! Anyways, you've got more Total Drama after the break!"
Right now, Iori, Clover and Sol were struggling with the rhino and it was going to be-
To be continued in the third part of the psuedo-RPG thing that Chris is doing, except it's for real and it might not be legal in every state...or rather, any state!
Seriously, though, I kinda wasn't expecting the process to be a bit slower than usual and honestly, I did have a pretty good answer to the question at the top.
Someone had to be shafted and hey, Azula's about to mess up Izzy, Coachman will probably get immunity to everyone's disdain and rhinos, robot bears, fossils and walking sharks have not been harmed in the typing of this episode!
Yeah, there's more.
1st: Team Giant Beaver (Bayonetta, Riley, Catalina & Muscle Man)
2nd: Team Giant Geese (Mr. Smee, Tanjiro, Kugisaki Nobara & Heavy)
3rd: Team Laser Squirrel (Leshawna, Crimson, Hsien-Ko & Squirrel Girl)