Chapter 26

~Message Received~

At times like this, I wish Jimmy hadn't come to town. I'm not the one romantically involved with Bella, and yet I have to deal with the worst parts of the relationship. Alice sits on a chair in my living room, legs crossed, and the expression on her face indicates she expects to be obeyed.

Bella stands in the corner, arms wrapped around herself. Her sulky brown eyes flick to me, accusation in their depths. "Do you think there's something wrong with me?" There's an incredulous lilt in her tone.

I'm not sure how to react. I hover in the doorway, my gaze bouncing from Alice to Bella and back. "Um . . ."

Bella bites her lip, holding back tears.

Alice rises without moving toward Bella. "This isn't about right and wrong."

Bella glares at her. "I wasn't asking you!" Her voice comes in a harsh whisper, and her eyes return to me.

"Bella, I believe you need help, some therapy as Alice said, so you can heal. It's not that something is wrong with you, but what you were taught isn't normal." I keep my tone soft and my expression earnest.

A sob hiccups out of Bella. "There are plenty of people in BDSM relationships!"

I walk toward her slowly and take her hands in mine. "I've never been in that type of relationship, but it's my understanding that it's healthy if it's mutual. You admitted to me that you aren't sure who you are. I think you owe it to yourself to try the therapist Alice suggested."

She tilts her head, eyes still filled with tears and concern. "I don't know."

Alice moves closer but still leaves considerable distance between her and Bella. "Choices were made for you when you were growing up. Therapy will help you to explore what should stay and what needs to change."

Bella's hands tighten in mine. "You don't want to erase me?"

Alice shakes her dark head. "Of course not! You have a beautiful, kind soul. This is more of an excavation—rather than burying who you are, therapy can help uncover your authentic self."

Bella looks uncertain, but a spark of hope lights her eyes. "That sounds hard, but it feels right in here." She pulls one of her hands from mine and rests it over her heart.

"Yes! That's so good. All change begins in here." Alice mimics Bella, placing a hand against her own chest. "Will you agree to see my colleague?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Of course you do. Therapy won't help you unless you're an active participant. Nobody wants to completely remake you. We adore you."

Bella's smile is tentative. "You do?" She gazes up at me, a glimmer of hope swelling in her eyes.

I pull her hand against my chest, trapping it with my own. "I do. Since you came to town, you fit right in with our group. I love having you work at the shop. You've made new friends, right? We all care about you."

She swipes away a tear with her free hand. "I love being with you and your friends. You all welcomed me in, and you don't seem to expect anything from me. Sometimes I don't know what to do with all the feelings inside me—or the fear."

Everything she says sounds good until she mentions fear. "Fear?"

She hangs her head. "I'm afraid it's a dream that will be ripped away." She throws herself against me, wrapping her arms around my waist, nails digging into my back. "I don't want to go back, Edward! Please don't let him take me!"

I pull her closer, resting my chin on top of her head, and rub her back lightly. "Nobody is going to make you do anything."

Alice's eyes shine with tears. "You're in control, Bella."

"Okay. I'll do it. Make the appointment."

oOo

The therapist wants to see Bella three times a week to start. Dr. Klein's office is up the street from the shop, so I block my schedule on Bella's therapy days so I can walk her there and wait. It's not something she asked me to do; we just fell into that pattern and haven't spoken about it. She's probably afraid if we talk about it, I'll stop..

While Bella is in a session, my phone rings. Jimmy. I hurry out of the waiting room and answer the call. "Hey!"

"Hey, man! How's everything?"

"Good."

"Do you know where Bella is? She's not answering her phone."

"Yeah, she's at a doctor's appointment." I rub the back of my neck, tugging on a lock of my hair.

"Is she okay?"

My intention was to wait until he came home to tell him about the therapy, but fuck it. "Jimmy, she's seeing a therapist."

He scoffs. "Bella?" When I don't say anything, he says, "For real? She agreed to see a shrink?"

"Yeah."

"She didn't tell me." His voice is low and quiet.

"I'm sure she wanted to surprise you."

"Well, she did that! For sure." Jimmy's usual upbeat personality bounces back. "So, good news, my man! I'm on my way home."

"That's great!" I force enthusiasm I don't feel.

"I'm sure you're tired of taking care of Bella. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your sacrifice."

"It's been fine, man. She's been helping out in the shop and fits right in with the crew."

"Wow . . . okay. Guess she's getting along fine without me." There's a strange undertone to his words that I can't put my finger on, but my stomach does a flip.

"That's not what I said. She misses you like crazy! Did you have a successful trip?"

"Mostly, yeah. There are a few loose ends, but I'll take care of those later." Again, I'm struck by an oddness in his tone. "So tell me what's new at the shop . . ."

We talk business, and I fill him in on what everyone has been up to. I leave out the part about Bella trying to seduce me and how close I came to giving in—how close I come every day that I'm around her. I don't tell him that her beauty shines from within or that a feisty woman who knows deep down what she wants is hidden amongst a network of scars. I don't tell him I'm falling for his girl.

When Bella finishes her session, she finds me sitting on the low, stone wall out front, playing with the lid of my coffee cup. "How did your session go?"

She sits beside me, close enough that I can feel the heat of her body. "Hard. Really hard. Dr. Klein said I made a breakthrough. Sometimes I feel so stuck, but she said I'm making progress."

"That's great. I'm happy to hear that."

She puts her hand on my arm, and her touch burns into me like a brand. "Is everything okay?"

"I have some good news." I try to sound like I mean it, but it falls flat.

"Jim's coming home?" she asks quietly.

"Did he tell you already?"

"No. I just figured your news would be about him." She smiles and takes a deep breath. "When?"

"Tomorrow."

Bella nods and looks up at me calmly. "He needs to know I'm different, that I'm working hard to shed my old life." Her fingers tighten on my arm. "Will you help me . . . Will you be there when I tell him?"

I swallow hard. "Of course."

Dread settles low in my belly on the walk to the shop. Both of us are subdued, lost in our own thoughts. I should be happy Jimmy is coming home and taking back responsibility for his girlfriend.

"Is it okay if we skip Denali's tonight?" Bella asks.

"Sure. Did you want to go somewhere else?"

"No. I bought some steaks so I can make dinner for you." A rosy blush spreads across her porcelain skin. "I was thinking about doing it over the weekend, but since Jim's coming home tomorrow . . ."

"That would be nice. Thank you."

Bella returns to the counter out front, and I head back to my station to prepare for my next client. I try to reconcile how pleased I am that Bella wants to cook dinner for me with the feeling of dread that keeps rippling through me. I shake off the feelings, putting everything on hold so I can concentrate on my clients. Tattooing keeps me in the moment, and right now, that's what I need.

Once all the clients have arrived, Bella pops her head in to tell me she's hitching a ride home with Jasper so she can get started on dinner. Emmett happens to be walking by and wiggles his eyebrows.

He saunters into my station after she leaves. "So . . . dinner?"

"It's just a thank you. Jimmy's coming home tomorrow." I continue my preparation, avoiding his curious eyes.

"And how do you feel about that?"

I shoot him a look. "What are you, my shrink? It doesn't matter how I feel."

"Easy, man. I'm just concerned. You've been spending a lot of time with Bella, and I've seen the way she looks at you."

My heart speeds, but I shake my head. "She's just used to having someone tell her what to do. When Jimmy's back, she won't need me."

Emmett's eyebrows rise, and his expression says it all—he thinks I'm clueless. Maybe I am. Maybe I have to be because the alternative is my being okay with stealing from a close friend who's done nothing but help and support me.

Once the shop is closed, I head home with a mixture of trepidation and anticipation. The evening is cool and mild. The table on the deck is set for dinner, and a pile of wood is stacked in the fire pit.

Inside, Bella dances around the kitchen. Her singing is slightly out of tune, but she belts out the words with gusto while she prepares a salad. There are potatoes boiling away on the stove, and the steaks must be in the broiler. The smell is mouthwatering.

She happens to turn in my direction and shrieks when she sees me. "Oh my god!" She yanks an earbud out and presses a hand to her chest. "I didn't know you were home. Sorry about the off-key singing." The apples of her cheeks redden.

I lean against the counter and smirk. "Don't apologize. It's good to see you so carefree."

"Dinner will be ready soon." Bella opens the fridge and pulls out a beer and the bottle of Riesling, putting them on the counter. "Why don't you bring these out and relax until the food is done?"

I hang up my keys and run a hand through my hair. "Do you need some help?"

"Nope."

I bring the drinks out to the deck and settle into the chair facing the back door. Popping the top off the beer, I chug half of it before tilting my head back to look at the stars. It's a clear night, and the stars sparkle brightly. The moon is nearly full, sitting high and luminous in the sky, chasing away the shadows.

Bella emerges with a tray of food. I jump up and prop the door open, insisting she let me help. In addition to the steaks, she made mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and a salad with homemade balsamic dressing.

"This looks fantastic!"

We sit at the table, start filling our plates, and I pour a glass of wine for Bella. There's some polite conversation, asking to pass things or exclaiming how delicious the food is. I can't help but notice that Bella eats like a bird. She has a small piece of steak, a spoonful of mashed potatoes, and some salad, while my plate is piled high with mashed potatoes, an ear of corn, a whole steak, and I don't have space for salad yet.

"Aren't you hungry? I feel like such a glutton here!"

Bella smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "I'm used to small meals."

"Oh, like you eat several small portions a day?"

"No." She shakes her head and swallows hard but doesn't elaborate.

I stare at her, the fork halfway to my mouth. "Bella, does Jimmy encourage you to deprive yourself?"

"No. My father was always lecturing me about my weight, and Phoenix said an empty stomach was better for our, um, activities. I was put on a strict diet. Edward, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for! I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. Nobody should be dictating to you that way."

Taking another small scoop of potatoes, she whispers, "I love mashed potatoes."

"Take as much as you want."

"I'll get a bellyache if I have too much." She giggles, covering her mouth. "Phoenix would have a stroke if he saw me eating this way. And I haven't worked out in weeks!"

My heart clenches. I can't wait until I'm face-to-face with Phoenix. Whatever happens to him, it can't make up for the damage he's done to this beautiful woman.

"Tell me about you, Bella. Forget your father, Ming Li, and Phoenix. What makes you happy? What do you like to do?"

"Nobody ever asks about me that way." Her eyes are filled with wonder, and it makes me sad. "I love to sing, but you know there's no future in that for me. I'm great at math. Numbers are something concrete I can understand. I love arranging flowers, taking pretty blooms and turning them into beautiful combinations of colors and textures."

I learn that her father thought flowers were frivolous, but Ming Li put those talents to good use, and Bella first saw Jimmy from between the stems of an arrangement she was making at Fire Island. Jimmy encourages her to be creative and buys her supplies.

Bella has never been free. She's always been under someone's thumb. It's no wonder she's not sure who she is.

She asks me about Inkspiration and how I decided to be a tattoo artist. My history is boring next to hers, so normal, and it causes guilt to rise inside me.

"I've always had art in my soul. I saw designs in my mind and had the urge to bring them to life—first through sketches, and later by inking them on the ultimate canvas, the human body. My father encouraged me to go to school. He said if I wanted to make my living tattooing, then I should go a step further and own my own place. So I went to college for a business degree—that's where I met Jimmy—and I was able to open the shop. "

"That's so awesome!" Her enthusiastic expression eventually morphs into one of sadness.

"What's wrong?"

She shrugs a shoulder and looks down. "I'd love to have a shop of my own, somewhere I could use my creativity however I want."

"So why don't you?"

"I can't—not while Phoenix is out there looking for me." She brightens a little bit. "Maybe someday though."

I take her hand, giving it a squeeze. "There you go. It's something to work toward." I fight down the words I really want to say, and simply state, "We're going to find Phoenix and make him pay for what he's done."

"You don't know what you're saying, Edward. Promise me you'll leave this alone."

"I can't do that. I realize we can't take down this entire depraved group of elite sickos, but Jimmy and I will find Phoenix and take him down."

Bella tugs her hand out of mine, balling it into a fist. "I want you to leave this alone. I mean it. There are things you don't understand." There's an obstinate set to her jaw, and her sable eyes are intense.

"Okay. Message received."

"Thank you."

Don't thank me. I said the message was received, not that I would honor it. Sorry, Bella, but I can't let this go.

~oOo~

A/N: Alice is dishing out much needed tough love, and Edward is walking a line. Their trust and feelings for each other are growing, but they have a ways to go. Jimmy is about to throw everything into a tailspin. Would love to hear your thoughts and opinions!

Next chapter of Princess is in the works and hope to post within a week. Holiday weekend means less writing time and more party time, but I'll do my best! Hope you all enjoy the holiday, and if Memorial Day isn't celebrated where you live, have a party just for the heck of it!

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Thanks and gratefulness as always to my awesome betas, SassySue (chayasara) and Wendy wmr1601. These ladies make my stuff much more presentable! And Aleea (Aleeab4u) is prereading! She makes every chapter better. Mwah!

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PSA: Fanfic has made a ridiculous update that will turn email notifications OFF. This is the default setting. You will need to go to "settings" in your FF account and opt in to receive email notifications. Even if you do this, this setting will automatically default back to NO every six months, at which time you will need to change the setting again. Just one more way FF is making our lives difficult.