Total Drama X: Ultimate Islands!
Episode 26: Count The Dares
Part 1: No Dares, Strategy Only
Some people are going to be disappointed that Coachman didn't leave and honestly...I'm not going to elaborate on him in this episode, since he's stuck in quite the perilous position. (Especially since he was planned to be eliminated before the two-team stage, so he has quite the extended run.)
Mostly because Azula, Tanya and a few others haven't had their chance to show their villainy and more than a few campers didn't get their shining moment yet, wherever through strategy or through challenge wins.
Why is the description about the campers and not about the challenge?
It's just about dares, man...
...along with Dante...and Coachman...and Azula...and the Fiery Foxes slowly breaking apart under the weight of the last pre-true merge challenge.
"Last time on Total Drama: Ultimate Islands, the 40 remaining campers went back to Boney Island to have a pleasant camping trip and there was a lot of wildlife..."
The palico attack was shown.
"...a lot of freaky things happening as usual..."
The Rathalos beatdown or in slang terms, the Rathalos getting jumped by the Capybaras was shown.
"...and a purple-haired guy who I kinda forgot about trying to disrupt this season's epic villain!"
Jack Horner-
"And through all of that, some of our campers learned some things that they wanted to know, some of them learned things that they didn't want to know and some of campers learned that some of them couldn't read a map to save their lives. And those people kinda got eliminated..."
The four eliminated homies were shown.
"...Riley and Catalina got betrayed by their alliance mates and Yuri and Mr. Smee caught a lot of stray votes! Who's going to catch some strays, who's going to be make stray cats jump and who dares to survive this one! Find out on..."
Of course, the zoom-out had to be there.
"...Total Drama X: Ultimate Islands!"
Bruh, we're gonna get a new intro! Look, man, I'll just go and say it. Why wouldn't bring back the four-
"-intro thing, it would be-"
Deadpool literally got slapped back into reality by Dante, as about half of the Donkey Heads were interrogating the guy that slapped the merc with the mouth for one reason.
The Donkey Heads were an massive alliance in the most literal sense, as there was at least twelve people still in it even considering that some people were not willing to go towards the meeting considering the obvious factor of Coachman using only one of his potential immunity idols and being consistently underhanded and callous.
"-Oh sorry, I broke the fourth wall super hard...too bad I don't care."
"That's not really the reason why we're just here." Dante stated. "It kinda sucks that-"
"Dude, you had all the opportunity to eliminate Coachman and maybe you would have lost a few teammates along the way, so why didn't you?" Kyo kinda scolded, as Sokka, Tails and Reg looked suspiciously at him.
"-You should know about wanting to win, Kyo, you've won the last three challenges...your team still has a lot more players and my team's definitely going to lose this time around." Dante complained, as Kyo just looked at him.
"...Yeah, that's fair, but-"
"-Come on, subwayguy didn't want his story arc for his favourite character to end last episode...and I'm not saying anything!" Deadpool declared, just trying to defend Dante.
Deadpool actually got the crickets to genuinely talk.
"And you do have a bias against our team considering...you kinda hate a bunch of our members." Squirrel Girl stated. "Which is cool, we have a fair share of assholes."
Kyo was miffed about his team's loss.
"Yeah and if you let us win, we would have gone easy on you...definitely."
"Are you serious, this is a competition where anyone can vote off anyone, some of them for suspect reasons and some for alliances, so I can't blame ya being mad. They lost three times, though." Sokka explained, trying to be calm. "...Also, I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't have been voted out."
"And why would that be-" Kyo asked, before realising something that was surprisingly obvious, judging by the...judging stares that were upon him.
The fiery fighter just looked surprised at how this passed over his own head, probably not helped from the previous challenge's injuries.
"I can't believe you forgot that. He has at least one immunity idol, practically confirmed by my source of information...Squirrel Girl!" Tails declared, as Squirrel Girl silently pumped her fist.
Basil just facepalmed.
*Kyo's confessional*
Kyo's hand was healed by TF2's Medic and uh...
"What the hell did that medic guy do to me? Sure, he healed my stuff near instantly, but when did I just forget that kind of stuff...people told me, right?" Kyo asked.
*Basil's confessional*
"It doesn't need to be said, but this man is not much of a genius. He didn't even graduate high school in Japan and apparently, everyone makes fun of him for it. A bunch of people don't know it, but I do because it is my job to investigate this and this...was too much work to be worried over." The mouse detective answered.
*Confessional cut*
"Also, we lost because five people read a map upside down, it's not that serious!" Tails said.
"I mean...yeah, it is not that serious, but you should consider a world without Coachman in this Total Drama season. Stuff would be good!" Kyo proclaimed, as there was a few people that saw through the facade.
"Just admit you're trying to be strategic here, there's 36 people left...which would not-" Basil tried to answer, as Tails wisely was decently far away.
"-I'm not trying to be that, just find a way for that old man to be out!" Kyo proclaimed.
"Dude, I'm in with you! Just I don't want my team to lose." Dante disagreed with the fighter. "Besides, I hope today's challenge is the last one before the merge."
"Why, though?"
"Chris always has something spicy in these kind of shows, Deadpool says...I don't believe him, but it's not too crazy." Dante shrugged. "Either way, you can't stop me from going all out."
Kyo just sighed seriously, as Terry was looking at him with a look of disbelief.
"Okay, then. Then you haven't seen my full power!" Kyo proclaimed. "My full power of strategy and the best martial art you've ever seen."
Terry raised an eyebrow, Tails and Reg were just looking at each other, Rock was just despondant, Bayonetta wasn't even here to talk, Deadpool was quickly editing being the hottest man alive and the rest were astounded at how...the plan was.
*Rock's confessional*
He looked rather serious.
"I've stopped being a crying man, okay, I've got the power of rock within me and Kyo's being a dumb guy unlike my favourite girl...Clover."
A tear slid down his face.
"Man, do I miss her!"
He wasn't really crying on the outside, but his pained expression said more than it needed to.
*Confessional cut*
Speaking of Bayonetta, she was just looking very interested in the one man that had about two thirds of the remaining campers' interest, so the witch just had to make do with giving him a look of judgement that went right through the (somewhat super)villain.
"I get the feeling that I am not appreciated...the feeling's quite mutual on my end." Coachman remarked with a grin. "Did you know-"
"Did you know that you're quite the target, which does help when you are literally the biggest person remaining and by far, the least consistent!" Bayo shouted. "Take this advice from a lady."
"Do you not think I know that?"
"...You act like it."
The more things change, the more things stay the same, which was when Dante popped in, tired of his own bullshit, ready to have a good time with this challenge.
"Did I miss something or did the world flip upside down?" Dante asked. "Because I'm pretty sure you two don't have beef."
"We don't, it's ridiculous." Bayonetta said. "I was just dumping on an easy target, not my favourite hobby...but you're definitely not that."
"Well, yeah, I've got a good gun and you've got four of 'em, so I doubt that, babe! Anyways, I knew I was forgetting the witch that I'm going to stomp in today's challenge...aside from the obvious."
"Good...I was just wondering something." Bayo had a moment of realisation.
"Uh-huh, is it about the last demon I couldn't kill before coming here?" Dante asked. "Because I swear he looked familiar...and he definitely didn't look black and purple."
Bayonetta looked shocked in horror, as Dante was just as shocked as her, finally prompting the rivalry to push Coachman into the background and also let the rest of the alliance walk on in being ignored.
The demon hunter and the angel slayer may have been two kinds of different people that are both stupid powerful, stupid witty and ridiculously cocky, but...they were substanially different.
Dante wouldn't mind Nickelback and Bayonetta's a potential Beyonce fan is all I'm saying and one downed demon wouldn't helped them.
"You know what? Maybe you're just a bit of an asshole, not even checking who sent you on that job." Bayonetta almost shouted. "I doubt it was hurting people."
"No way, that's yours? Yeah...now that you mention it, it wasn't really eating anyone." Dante answered. "You didn't think I asked the guy for proof that he existed or that anything happened? He did pay a fair amount and plus, it was really destroying...a place."
"Good on you." Bayo hissed.
"Yeah, that's your problem." Dante stated. "Still destroyed a city."
"It was in my world!"
Coachman grinned at the free opportunity, as Pit and Miko were wary of that smile for reasons that reading the past episodes reveal...along with the man having this general air around him.
*Coachman's confessional*
He was pleased...very pleased.
"You know how I don't have a chance of surviving this challenge unless I put myself into some more action...well, Dante himself put his own arse right into his team's view at the moment and in addition, if I can force him off his own game...he should be good." He simply explained. "Now for the rest of the competition...hahahahaha."
You wouldn't think this man would be nervous, but an inkling of that showed already.
*Confessional cut*
Dante and Bayonetta were steaming and since they were in the fifth and third game, respectively, they solved this the same way that two action heroes usually would.
"...Just say sorry, it's legitmately not that hard. I had to give them the punishment that they deserved in a bad way." Bayonetta explained. "Maybe you're just trying to piss me...which is working."
"Hah, I got 'em! Can't say sorry for saving lives."
"Then I'll be the bigger lady, so sorry for letting my pet...ruin a whole city."
"Finally!"
While that interaction was going down, as Coachman looked on a bit...flustered, you could say, as the two adults were talking it out like adults and still fostering a rivalry.
"Gonna be honest, I get the feeling that I know who hired you to tame that beast!" Pit guessed...badly. "It's a bad dude."
"Could definitely be a bad dude!" Miko added on. "And I'm gonna fight-"
"My pet did level a city, that person would not be a bad dude by definition...though Dante's starting to annoy me!" Bayonetta subtly spoke.
"Plus you're a pretty face with a big brain, of which you kinda can't get a lot in here. But I'm still the better hunter than you, so I'm gonna let it slide."
Dante's compliment went under appreciated by the angry smiling Bayonetta, as the air essentially...stopped.
Wherever interesting conversation or even reconciliation could from, kinda fizzed away when he just dropped that, as people kinda expected that kind of madness from Dante...just not in the cafeteria of epic people.
"He had one chance to diffuse and he chose to bring another punch-" Cassie casually said.
"Wait, what did he say...I couldn't hear him!" Nobara had half a mind to punch Dante.
"I doubt he's even sexist...just stupid." Cassie answered, trying to keep Nobara from flying off the tables. "Also, you definitely didn't hear it."
The demon hunter knew that he said something stupid, as Bayonetta was about to throw down for real with her and much more important, it mean something else to a bunch of other people, as the battle went outside with the two of them actually glaring.
"...I'm not surprised and I bet that none of you would be surprised either...ah, my job gets easier." Coachman smugly remarked. "And honestly, I would like to position myself as team leader."
Pit, Miko and more than a few other people definitely believed what they were hearing.
"You're like a lion with ADHD, always looking for the next opportunity to prop yourself...in stupid ways as well." Yumeko told him. "Also, it's not like we've got much to lose!"
"Yeah, think of this as an awesome goodbye gift because your lack of tact, lack of team camaderie and honestly...you suck a fair amount of ass." Deadpool's window shards. "Plus like-"
Deadpool somehow couldn't spoil the episode, as his voice was taken away from seemingly no reason.
"Well, that aside, the last time you led a team...you essentially didn't, so you can try again or get eliminated like the insane mercenary said." Azula warned, still taking time to throw Deadpool under the bus.
"Well, then, terrible food aside-"
Coachman just grabbed the cleaver threw to a pole.
"-it is finally the time to my plan in action...for whatever challenge it is!"
"You don't have no plan!" Chef shouted from the kitchen. "Also, quit insulting my food!"
Coachman paid no attention to the chef that could actually throw a cleaver, as his team was...tired of his consistent shenanigans, as they all shrugged and accepted his leadership.
Just like Dante and Bayonetta walked in huffing towards each other and then seperating towards their teams and the demon hunter could see the uncaring team.
"No way, you're back on as team leader?" Dante asked.
"Yes?" Coachman said, as though he had skills outside of child trafficking.
"...Okay, you do you!" Dante shrugged. "Just please beat Bayonetta into the ground."
"I can't believe you have so little faith in me...I was merely trying to make sure the sabotage was going to work." Coachman explained to an unconvinced team. "And honestly, this challenge will play to my strengths!"
"Being duplicitious is a strength...if it's not obvious, so good luck to you." Azula answered, as the whole team laughed.
*Bayonetta's confessional*
The witch was just laughing.
"Sure, Dante's one of those people where you can tell he consistently says stupid stuff, but imagine getting your whole team to laugh you...for trying to be the team leader. Couldn't really be me and it is actually well-deserved, too!"
*Confessional cut*
Speaking of the other team, they were more than motivated after taking a well-deserved rest after eliminating two toxic members and two other people that were victims of the four-person elimination scheme with the strategy plays happening in the minds of some of the members.
Mostly Tanya, who was getting a lot of surprised looks.
"Whoa, where did you even get a speech like that?" Tanjiro asked.
"You mean made. How does child make speech like that?" Heavy butted in, as Tanya took the time to drink the questionable water.
"I bring out speeches like this when my squadron is unmotivated...none of you aren't motivated to bring the team spirit, just you were dying and someone needed to say it." Tanya answered. "But we did lose."
"Sorry, child! What is your epic strategy?" Heavy mocked the child soldier, as Tanya just drunk the rest of the water.
"Win the challenge and try to be the majority." Tanya stated. "I would say more, but-"
"It's challenge time-"
Chris arrived to see that Dante and Coachman were giving each other the dirtiest looks.
"-I would interrupt whatever time you two having, but I have something that will fufill both of your desires! Trust me, get to the underground here, it's going to be epic!"
Chef Hatchet just raised an eyebrow at what he said.
*Deadpool's confessional*
The mercenary was just posing inside the confessional, right before the camera turned in and he realised he was live.
"I know what the challenge is, but I'm not gonna tell everyone because I don't know what's the challenge really is...like if that makes sense, you can hug me and my green pet, Chimichanga! Trust me, I've got some!"
*Confessional cut*
The 36 remaining campers were in a bit of a space that definiely had a retractable roof and a lot of seats to be sat on, seemingly similar to "Say Uncle"...except it wasn't for obvious reasons.
"Bro, this is looking a bit familiar." Muscle Man whispered.
"I know, but shut up please." Joseph said quietly.
Chris stood in the centre to make sure that the platform slowly rose up and rise up, the platform did, the upper door slowly opening to reveal that it was two very different challenges combined at last, which shocked a lot of the campers and interested, at least, the rest of them...as the very distinct combo between "Say Uncle" and "Triple Dog Dare You." was there.
The massive fucking wheel, the 36 or so tables that each had digital screens on the front to show two very different things and the generally-showy aesthetics of the first final three challenge.
Overall, it literally looked like if both challenges were done right now and even the most stoic contestants were genuinely wondering-"
"Guys, I know you're impressed by the final pre-merge challenge!"
"SAY WHA-" Muscle Man instinctively yelled out.
"Yeah, I dare you to figure it out with your team! You better "Dare to team up", huh?"
There was a few chuckles.
"Well, okay, I asked some of you remaining campers and every single eliminated contestant in this season about what kind of torture aka dares they've got cooked up for you and there was a lot, like a stupid amount of crazy stuff that isn't torture!"
"It isn't torture...I don't believe it!" Joseph grinned.
"Look at your fellow campers within your massive teams! Whoever team has the highest amount of dares done wins the challenge, simple as that...but it's not that simple! Sure, your team wins, you go through to the merge, you now fight against your old team! Your team loses, three of you get eliminated through your votes, slingshotted out of the chance for the million!"
Chris then let the pause speak for itself.
"On this big digital wheel, when the arrow lands on each camper, a dare will be picked at random for Chef to read! Doesn't matter how gnarly, disgusting, bad vibes or dangerous it is, you gotta do it! You can only re-roll once, but if you don't do the dare, you get a single strike! As you obviously can read, four strikes and you are out of the show entirely! No votes, no dignity!"
The collective gasp of the campers said more than it needed to.
"Extremely important side note: Two of you will be eliminated during this challenge, so don't take 'em with caution! Get ready to embarassed, campers or embarassed again, if you're some campers...there's another special twist at the end!"
"Don't we already have enough 'special twists?" Tails asked.
"Well, obviously!" Joseph grinned.
"That's why I'm not revealing it! Anyways, I'll just let you peeps figure it out."
Chris actually took some time for the 36 campers to compherend what they were doing and thanks to Deadpool, that time was sped up by a ridiculous amount, so let's just go to when the last guy figured it out.
"Holy shit, that's messed up." Rock whispered. "Iori, let's rock it!"
"Wait, weren't you depressed four days ago?" Iori asked, giving him the smug look. "What's with the stupid-ass grin on your face."
"I'm doing it for Clover, my babe! Also, I thought you said to get over it."
"...Glad you took my damn advice."
*Rock's confessional*
Rock wasn't really in tears, but he wasn't really happy.
"Gonna be honest, I've got the shrrumm inside me...and it's tell me that I've gonna win this for my girlfriend! And I have an idea, which everyone's gonna copy!" He shouted out in the confessional.
*Crimson's confessional*
The goth may have been surprised, but she didn't look the part.
"Woo."
She realised something that only Ennui noticed.
"...I said too much."
*Nobara's confessional*
The fashionable sorcerer was...excited.
"Finally, a challenge that doesn't want to be super dangerous, but is just really boring! I'm gonna have fun in this...just don't dirty my clothes." Nobara said. "Plus the alliance will definitely survive."
*Deadpool's confessional*
Him and his pet was hanging in there.
"The guy's writing it out of his butt, that was the spoiler I was talking about and you know what, I'm about to kick my dare-having butt into overdrive!" Deadpool proclaimed.
*Confessional cut*
The Capybara's collective dares: 0
The Foxes' fiery combined dares: 0
"Whoa, why's the leaderboard like that?" Tanjiro asked. "It's like-"
"Got some intern to do it, he enjoyed it." Chris declared. "Like you guys at home are going to enjoy these 36 campers going through it to say the least!"
Chris may have laughed, but this one was a bit different for obvious reasons, genuinely turning into an evil chuckle at one point and...
...these remaining players were about to get played themselves.
To be continued in the second part, where there is some actual dares.
A lot of dares, including one in the table and honestly, some of them are squeamish, some of them are pure, fresh-from-YouTube cringe, some of them are pure pain and the rest are...unique to say the least, since there has been almost 90 campers eliminated and more than a few campers that had been tricked into bringing their own dares into the fold.
Basically, there's at least 500 dares, most of which shall not be used, for the final pre-merge challenge and yet, it will be wild!