Ainz was laying on the bed in his room, staring into the ceiling.
Things were finally starting to return to normal. Everyone's workloads, including his own, were now manageable again.
With his mind no longer occupied by soul-crushing paperwork, it was able to think about other things.
But instead of actually relaxing, his thoughts wandered to a new problem instead.
Specifically, where was the situation with Neia going?
Things would not simply continue like this forever. She wanted to be his wife one day. What will happen when she continues to not get her wish, year after year? For how long would she remain patient? It's already been their first anniversary, and he didn't even have any particular excuse except for being someone who was hard to seduce.
And so, for the last two days, he was thinking about this new issue.
As far as he could tell, he had three options.
The first was to somehow reject Neia, while still keeping her as a loyal follower. Such a thing would be far more difficult than he expected, since her love only ever deepened with time, but he'd done a lot to make her feel grateful to him, so perhaps it was possible. But even if it was, it might tarnish her friendship with CZ Delta, and unless things go perfectly, she might then say unsavoury things about him behind his back due to leftover bitterness. They would have a lot of weight coming from her...
Second, he could kill her. Demiurge could probably create a rather complex scenario where her death would also further some other goal, or perhaps she could be turned into a martyr for their religion, like the two of them once discussed a long time ago. Of course, this option would make CZ very unhappy...
His third option was to simply continue along with the fake relationship forever. But there were simply things he was too uncomfortable with. What would happen then? What would their relationship look like if it simply got to a point where he refused to take whatever the next step was? It would probably just result in that same breakup from the first option...
There was also a fourth, but…
He sighed.
Every option seemed bad.
Two of them seemed to eventually become the same, and resulted in breaking Neia's heart, probably making CZ unhappy and possibly having other bad consequences for him. The remaining one might be beneficial to Nazarick, but would make CZ even more unhappy than the other two.
So what the hell was he supposed to do?
This dilemma was the source of a lot of anxiety for him.
He should have killed her back when she was just a squire...
And then, he sat up, wondering if maybe he'd been lost in time for too long.
'What time is... damn it!'
He was slightly late for another date with her.
And so, he immediately got up from the bed and teleported to her bedroom, those earlier thoughts still in his mind.
She was right in front of him when he appeared, as usual.
"Your Majesty! I was getting a bit worried… Is everything alright?"
"Hello Neia. Sorry, I was just..."
He heard her uneasy voice.
He saw her concerned face.
He did not like seeing her like this.
Just then, something seemed to change in him.
No… rather, it was that he noticed something about himself.
He simply did not want to break Neia's heart, let alone kill her.
He wanted her to smile.
"Your Majesty, is everything really okay?"
He stepped closer, embracing her without hesitation.
"Yes. Don't worry. I have just been busy with a certain... problem. But it's nothing you need to worry about. Let's sit down."
It was now time to spend the day with her, so he should focus on that. He could continue thinking about the issue later.
... ... ...
Right after their date had ended, he went straight back to his room, and let himself fall back onto his bed, already thinking about the dilemma again.
The fourth option.
The option of not resisting her advances... not most of them, at least. He still had one line he didn't want to cross. He already got used to her displays of love. Holding hands, kissing... it wasn't so bad, if it was from her.
When it came to that one thing he was unwilling to do, that thing she wanted them to do in bed together, he could probably convince her that there was no point since he was undead, right?
Assuming he could do that, this made their marriage the biggest long-term problem. But how much of a problem was it, exactly? He knew marrying her would create a lot of bitterness and jealousy among those in Nazarick who might want to marry him themselves.
Specifically, he meant Albedo and Shalltear, but was there anyone else? He'd need to find out.
And so, he sat back up and cast [Message].
"Demiurge? I need you to organise something."
... ... ...
Ainz sat in his office, waiting patiently for the demon to show up with the results. It's been a few days, so he'd finally collected and compiled everyone's answers.
And as Ainz continued to sit and wait, he just kept thinking about the problem even more. Well, he wasn't making any progress, really. He was just going in circles within his mind.
"Lord Ainz!"
His thoughts were interrupted by the knocking of the person he expected.
"Come in."
The demon obeyed, and when he reached his master's table, he placed a stack of documents on it with a deep bow.
"These are everyone's answers, Lord Ainz!"
"Thank you. Great work, Demiurge."
He had an anonymous survey conducted among the denizens of Nazarick.
It had all sorts of questions, mostly created by him. But he didn't even remember almost any of them, because there was only one which he cared about. He even had a whole section on romance, just so that he could sneak that one question in there.
The question about whether or not anyone else wanted to marry him.
He pretended to read everything, as Demiurge was still standing right there. In reality, he was just skimming through to get to that one section.
But when he reached it-
"Huh?!"
Before his shock had fully built up and could be suppressed, he made a noise of surprise.
"Lord Ainz?! Is something wrong?"
"Ah, n-nothing... I was just... rather surprised by this one result... yes... very interesting… uh-huh…"
A staggeringly high number had answered "yes". He suspected that there might be a few more people along with Albedo and Shalltear, but this...
He did his best to maintain his regal pose, and tried to think about this rationally.
The reason marrying Neia could be bad for Nazarick was that it could create a lot of jealousy and bitterness among all the denizens who wanted to marry him themselves. Therefore, he planned to marry whoever came up, so that when he married Neia one day, it wouldn't cause any chaos.
But he didn't expect this at all...
What should he do now?
Should he marry everyone? But he didn't even know who they were, since the survey was anonymous.
He probably couldn't discuss the decision of who to marry and who to reject with someone like the demon in front of him, because the answer of just about everyone in Nazarick would be that whoever was dissatisfied with his decisions was a traitor, or something stupid like that. Even when it came to such a personal thing.
So how should he handle this high number of potential spouses?
Maybe he could establish a system where anyone could request to marry him through some formal application. They would then be judged based on their accomplishments, or other factors. Though he would probably have to be very lenient here. If some felt that they were giving their all, but it was not properly recognized, those people would also grow bitter and jealous, which was what he wanted to avoid in the first place.
He'd try to see if he can come up with anything better in the following days, though he wasn't sure if he could.
For now, he feigned a satisfied tone.
"Once again, good work, Demiurge. I will analyse this in detail later..."
... ... ...
It was a very cold night.
But Ainz wouldn't know that all, if it wasn't for his date with Neia.
They were now sitting on pillows in front of her bedroom's fireplace.
She was extending her hands towards it, and spoke with a relaxed voice.
"... I think there's also a lot of nice fashion options in the winter. Since it's the time of year when you wear the most clothing, there's also the most room for expressing yourself with that clothing, right? Scarfs can be really nice-looking, for example, and there's really no other time of year you can wear them."
He didn't know anything about fashion, but still nodded. He could see the logic.
"Even if I have to sit around a fire sometimes to keep fully warm, it's still really nice, I think. Very cosy... Though I might not share this view if I had to work outside all day..."
She turned her head to him slowly.
"What about you? Do you have a preference for any of the seasons?"
"Not really. I think all nature is beautiful."
In his own world, he could not see any nature at all, so he appreciated all of it now that he could witness it fully., though he wasn't nearly as passionate as someone like Blue Planet.
"I see."
He thought that she looked quite adorable when the fire illuminated her smiling face like that.
And so, he moved closer, and wrapped one of his arms around her.
"Hmh!"
She made a cute noise of surprise and happiness in response.
If he had a face of his own, he would be smiling too.
... ... ...
"What do you need of me, Lord Ainz?"
Once again, Demiurge stood bowing in front of Ainz's desk.
He felt a bit bad about making him do so much work again, right after everyone's workloads finally decreased, but he felt that he probably couldn't rely on anyone else for this.
With a sigh, he started his explanation.
Hopefully this will go well. He might just make himself look like the world's greatest fool if he doesn't choose his words carefully now.
"Raise your head. Demiurge, I had an idea about something of a reward system for Nazarick."
"A reward system?"
Ainz of course knew that the demon would initially be opposed to even the concept of such a thing. He was one of those who strongly believed that serving the Supreme Beings was already the greatest reward.
This would take a lot of convincing, but he was prepared for that.
"I'm sure you're very aware of the situation regarding Albedo, for example. She is very much in love with me, and of course wishes to be my wife. I fear that this might be negatively impacting her ability to serve me, as she might be growing impatient. It has also caused some friction between her and Shalltear. Workplaces cannot be hostile, as that compromises everyone's productivity. I feel this must be addressed, and I wish to do so in a way which might also encourage others to work harder."
He paused a bit to steel himself… it was time for the really stupid part.
"I wish to implement a system which would allow the denizens of Nazarick to request to marry me. I would judge their overall performance, as well as some other, secret factors. Here. I have prepared a rough outline for you to follow. I want you to begin putting this system into place."
"This is..."
The demon had a strange tone as he grabbed the document, reading it with stunning speed.
Ainz was extremely worried about his reaction, so he only watched in uneasy silence.
And then, the demon's tail suddenly started swinging from side to side.
"Uhm... L-Lord Ainz... does this mean... Well, can males apply too?"
"W-what?! Demiurge?! What's with that look?!"
Emotional suppression had kicked in.
... ... ...
Everything was ready. Demiurge should now be spreading news of the newly established marriage request system, which meant that the first of the applicants were probably going to come meet him soon.
In the end, he decided he would handle their applications in person, to ensure there wasn't anything weird going on. He couldn't entirely rule out the possibility of personal conflicts and bias complicating things for certain select people. For example, if he put Albedo in charge, it was possible she might somehow sabotage other applicants, or just intimidate them out of ever applying.
And so, he prepared the forms which would be filled out. They mostly existed so that he could remember who applied, but also to make it all seem a bit more official.
It wasn't really a form, actually. They would just write their name on a decorated piece of paper which had some text on the other side, explaining what the document is.
Suddenly, a very loud knocking was heard.
"Lord Ainz?! Lord Ainz!"
It was Albedo.
She probably used her Ring of Ainz Ooal Gown to come over immediately. Was she one of the first people to find out?
"Come in."
The door opened, and she immediately rushed over to him.
"Lord Ainz! I would like to apply to become your wife!"
Her tone was rather frantic.
"I see. One moment."
He opened a drawer and pulled out one of the forms.
"Please write your name on this."
"Yes!"
Just as she was about to, another knocking was heard. Actually, it was more like banging.
"Lord Ainz! Lord Ainz!"
It was Shalltear.
Why were they both here now? Did Demiurge make sure they were informed first, or something? Why would he do that?
"Come in."
As the door opened and Shalltear ran over, Albedo quickly signed the paper and thrust it into him.
He calmly took it and placed it into his inventory.
When the vampire reached the table, Albedo turned to her, and spoke with a tone which was a combination of smug condescension and something else.
"Ha! You're late!"
"No! How dare you?!"
There was both fury and desperation in Shalltear's voice.
He sighed.
"What is this about? Neither of you were first, anyway."
"Huh?!"
"N-not the first?"
They were both shocked, for some reason. Why did they care so much?
"Demiurge already gave his."
"What?!"
"He did?!"
Ainz thought that maybe he shouldn't disclose such things. Perhaps it was considered private? It was too late now, however.
"The order doesn't matter anyway, right? Or do you think it does?"
"It would be an honour to be your first out of everyone in Nazarick, Lord Ainz!"
"Is that so? I don't think it really matters at all, personally. In that case, I'll make the order in which I'll marry you random."
This seems to have made them both freeze up.
Was there something wrong with that, still?
"B-but... in that case, who will be your head wife? That's what's going to be most important, right? Who will bear the most children?"
They both looked at him with anticipation.
What should he say? If he says there will be no head wife... or husband, then everyone will probably fixate on the order in which he married them, like they did just now.
In that case, he would have to hold on to the promise that a head spouse will be decided at some point.
"I may decide that in the distant future. For now, it will be another goal you will all have to work toward."
And then, more knocking was heard.
"Lord Ainz?!... Hey, stop pushing, Solution!"
It was Lupusregina.
This was going to be a long day.
... ... ...
It's been about a week since the marriage applications were established.
And now, the homunculus maids were outfitting him for his wedding.
The first wedding, at least.
He chose an initial group of people to marry. Hopefully the subsequent batches won't be too disappointed at not being first. His gamble was that this would be prevented by his promise of there being a head spouse in the future.
He sighed internally.
This was all still very uncomfortable to him.
It was completely wrong to marry his friends' children like this, as determined as he was to ensure it would never go past that…
But he needed to push through now.
Because after this, he could marry Neia.
… which was just to ensure her continued loyalty, of course...
"Lord Ainz, does everything look good?"
It seemed his outfit was ready, and so one of the homunculus maids was looking up at him with a happy expression.
Seeing her, he did feel a little guilty for not choosing a single one of them. But he was quite worried that if only some of them were chosen, it could damage their mutual relationships, so he'd probably look into a way to solve that problem later. Not all of them have applied, either. He was also currently investigating the potential issue that some who wished to marry him did not submit applications because they had deemed themselves unworthy before he could even have anything to say on the matter.
He moved around a bit in front of the mirror, though he knew that if the maids thought his outfit was fine, it almost certainly was. And even if there was some small fault the maids didn't notice, he certainly wouldn't either. Not with his complete lack of fashion-related knowledge.
"Yes, everything looks good. You all did a fine job. Thank you."
...
Ainz walked through the large doors which the maids held open for him.
The wedding ceremony was taking place in the throne room, which was now decorated to look somewhat… cutesy?
As he got close, he saw those he'd be marrying today, all standing with anticipation.
Albedo. Shalltear. Demiurge. Pestonya. Lupusregina. Narbeal. Aureole.
He walked past them all, and sat on the throne.
It took him a little bit before he could steel himself to say the words which were about to change things for him quite a bit.
"Greetings, everyone. To reward you for all of your hard work, and for my own reasons... I, Ainz Ooal Gown, declare that from this point onward, all of you present here are my spouses!"
Some of them stood there proudly. Some of them were sort of fidgeting around, unable to contain their happiness. One was letting his tail swing from side to side excitedly.
With that, the homunculus maids started preparing slices of the wedding cake.
He simply sat there, really hoping this was the right choice.
There was no going back from this, after all.
But if it was for the sake of Neia, he-
Suddenly, Albedo stepped closer to the stairs leading to the throne, and spoke in a loud, excited tone.
"My dear husband! When will we consummate our marriage?!"
Shalltear rushed over as well.
"Yes! Let's do it right here, right now! Me first!"
Lupusregina stepped forward too.
"W-wait, I want to do it too!"
Demiurge then rushed closer as well.
Emotional suppression had activated.
... ... ...
Ainz sat in his office, and in front of his table stood Albedo and Demiurge.
Their wedding yesterday was mostly a success, even if he had to deal with them being… overly excited.
"Thank you both for coming here."
"Of course, Lord Ainz."
"Naturally, my love!"
At that moment, he did feel rather grateful to Neia. Interacting with her for so long had taught him how to tolerate unwanted affection rather well, though it still wasn't pleasant at all.
But he found that it was still Neia's love which he found the easiest to deal with.
… Rather, did he even find it troublesome at all these days? Has he gotten used to Neia's affection completely? He instead thought it was adorable when coming from her...
But he shouldn't let his mind wander like this.
"I called you here today because I wanted to say something which I hope you will both communicate to everyone else, as well. It is something rather important."
They both leaned in slightly.
"With the entirety of Nazarick focused on the topic of marriage lately, there is something I thought might be appropriate to say. At some point in the future, there might come a time when it will be politically advantageous for me to marry someone from this world."
Immediately, Demiurge looked to be in disgust, and Albedo did not hesitate to speak, almost shouting.
"My love! Surely anything of that sort won't be necessary! There is no need to lower yourself to the level of those pathetic creatures just to play their little games! There have to be other ways!"
"I am not interested in other ways, Albedo. I am interested in only the one best way to do things. If it is ever beneficial enough for me to marry one of the inhabitants of this world, or perhaps even pretend I have feelings for them, then that is simply what must be done."
They both looked like they were about to respond, but he stopped them by raising his hand.
"And another thing. I will also not tolerate any fighting amongst my spouses. Albedo, if you were to insult Shalltear or otherwise fight with her like you used to, you would be insulting my choice of wife, and therefore insulting me."
She lowered her head in unease.
"If I found that any of you did anything of the sort, I would almost certainly outright divorce you. And I do not plan on giving any second chances when it comes to that."
Demiurge lowered his head as well. The prospect of such a thing seemed to be terrifying to both of them.
"By the way, this will obviously also apply to any of my potential spouses from this world. Especially if I trick them into thinking I actually care about them. Is that clear?"
"Yes..."
"Yes, Lord Ainz."
Both of them responded with a combination of unhappiness, and further deepening disgust.
But that probably had to be enough for now. Their attitudes weren't going to flip completely anytime soon, or ever, so with his goal of at least having a good excuse now finished, he couldn't do anything else.
"That is all. You may return to whatever it is that you were doing."
…
As he watched them leave, he felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders.
But it was not over yet.
"Eighth-Edge Assassins, leave the room for now."
There was one last obstacle.
And possibly the greatest one yet.
He cast [Message].
"CZ?"
...
He was still sitting in his office, not moving at all.
He was simply waiting.
And if this went poorly, then...
He sighed, and went back to waiting silently, hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.
And then, there was a knock on the door.
"... Lord Ainz."
"Come in, CZ."
The maid obeyed, slowly opening the door and walking over calmly.
Her every step made his anxiety rise just a bit.
When she finally stopped right in front of his table, he took several moments to collect himself.
"CZ... you have not submitted a marriage application, is that correct?"
"... Yes."
"Does this mean you have no interest in marrying me?"
"... Yes."
He breathed in deeply.
"Are you sure?"
She suddenly looked down.
"... Have I insulted you, Lord Ainz?"
"N-no, nothing of the sort! It is your choice to make. It depends solely on you. I will respect your choice, regardless of what it is, and I would never hold your choice against you."
"... I see."
She raised her head, seemingly trusting him and taking his words as they are.
"Knowing this, I ask again. Are you sure you have no interest in marrying me?"
"... Not really."
He felt relieved. Hopefully she didn't feel compelled to lie due to some weird misunderstanding…
"In that case, there is something I wanted to talk to you about. In the future, it might be beneficial to my plans to marry someone from this world."
He waited if maybe she'd react with disgust, like the other two.
But her expression didn't change.
And so, he decided to ask her outright. He really needed to gauge her reaction to this.
"How do you feel about that?"
"... Anything you do is correct, Lord Ainz."
"Is that so?"
That didn't really enlighten him very much…
"Does the idea of me marrying a human or some other creature of this world not disgust you at all?"
"... Why would it?"
This confirmed one of his theories. Since she was friends with Neia for a long time now, she probably didn't share everyone else's attitude about outsiders being lesser creatures.
This was good, but…
He braced himself again.
"I'll be frank. I will marry Neia Baraja."
"... I see."
Once again, there was no reaction.
"How do you feel about that, CZ?"
"... I apologise. I do not understand what you mean… I don't feel much of anything at all."
"Are you sure? No other thoughts on this?"
There was a long pause as the maid looked to the ground again.
When she looked back up, her expression was slightly different.
"... I apologise if this is rude… No, I know it is, and I am ready to be punished, but... Will you treat her well?... She really cares about you… Will you make her happy?"
He smiled internally.
"Yes, CZ. I will do my best…"
…
The maid had left his office shortly after that.
The preparations were now finally complete.
From Nazarick's side, there shouldn't be any problems with marrying Neia.
And so, he started thinking about various things in relation to that.
How will he propose to her, exactly?
He found that he quite liked imagining the potential scenarios.
He thought about how happy it is surely going to make her.
He looked forward to seeing her smile when it happens.
But then, there was more knocking.
He wasn't expecting anyone else…
"Lord Ainz?"
It was Pandora's Actor. Even from that alone, Ainz felt that the doppelganger's tone was a bit… defeated? Unhappy?
"Come in."
It was even more obvious now. Instead of striking a pose or marching proudly, he simply opened the door normally and walked over in silence.
"... Lord Ainz?"
"We are alone. What is it?"
"Well, father, it's… it's about the marriages."
"More specifically?"
"I had always wanted a mother, but… It seems I now have several. A new father, too. Not only that, they are my fellow denizens of Nazarick…"
He lowered his head before continuing.
"I am sorry, but I am not sure what to think. Am I to see your new spouses as my new parents? I am not sure I am able to do that…"
This whole time, Ainz was somewhat stunned.
Pandora's Actor said he wanted a mother? What was this about seeing the others as his parents?
For some strange reason, he seemed to have some sort of fixation on the family aspect of this situation. Was his wish to call Ainz his father some sort of hint that he cared about family deeply?
"No… I don't really think it'd be very good for you to see any of them as your parents. Like you said, you are all of Nazarick. Especially when I marry even more, it would probably get out of hand quickly."
"Ah, I see. Thank you, father."
"There's no need. Is that all?"
"Yes! I shall return to my duties at once!"
"Good."
As he left, it seemed his embarrassing mannerisms were once again starting to show, indicating that he was returning to his usual mood.
Ainz sighed.
'Why can't he always be like he was just then? Seriously..'
He then went back to thinking about how he might propose to Neia.
What sort of engagement ring would she like the most?
He pulled out a piece of paper. Perhaps he should write his ideas down.
…
"Hm… mmm."
Ainz was looking at his notes with satisfaction.
The details of what he planned for his proposal were being finalised in his head.
He'd considered something grand, but in the end, he thought that a more straightforward approach would make her the most happy, especially considering-
"Faaather!"
Suddenly, more knocking was heard.
Why did Pandora's Actor return?
And why did he sound… excited?
"... Come in."
This time, he marched proudly over to the table. When he reached it, he made a pose.
"Faaaaather! You have not told me about your plans to marry someooooone of this woooorld!"
"Stop talking like that. And what the hell are you talking about?... Is it what I told Demiurge and Albedo? That marriage might be a political tool for me?"
"YEEESS! Faaather! Oh father! Could it really beeee? If it was someone else, I would be happy to embrace her as my… Mmmmmutteer!"
"I told you to stop talking like that! Seriously, why are you so excited about this?"
"Isn't it only naaaatural that I would like to complete our Faaaamilieee?"
Ainz sighed.
God damn it.
He can't ever let this lunatic anywhere near Neia… what would she think of him then?