The Reclusive Music Producer and The Journalist

by areaderofmanythings

Chloe is Rolling Stone Magazine's newest intern, she's left Atlanta to start life over in San Francisco. Beca's a cute regular who she befriends at the part time job she has until getting hired on at the magazine. What happens when Beca isn't straightforward about who she is and Chloe refuses to talk about her past? Will Chloe ever get the cover story she's dreamed about for years?

13. Chapter 13

I'm finally back! But wait I have legitimate excuses for leaving you hanging this long even though I promised a I had this written before I published Chapter 12...Excuse 1: To start the week after I uploaded Ch. 12 I was supposed to power through my edit of 13 and get it to my super awesome beta sugarlandaddict23 before I went I vacation, but Hurricane Harvey really effed up my whole vibe. Needless to say I was more concerned about my home and car not flooding (which they did not thankfully) but I did have to evacuate my home and leave everything, I didn't have an option when the National Guard, US Marshals and US Coast Guard come to your door and say you have to leave. So I was more worried about everything that was going on that I didn't get a chance to edit that whole week...So 2nd excuse: I went on vacation to Spain for 16 days...3rd excuse: once I got back from vacation and I ended up changing a few things so my edit took a little longer...4th excuse: the Houston Astros are in the world series so yeah, I've been watching that, GO 'STROS!

Another huge shoutout to sugarlandaddict23 for cranking out another chapter for me! She rocks and so does her fic Fallen, so make sure you check it out!

Disclaimer: PP still isn't mine so yeah you know the drill, but I take full responsibility for any and all mistakes!

And now on with the show...I made it a little longer just because you waited so long :) Cheers!

---

Hurling a tennis ball into the air, Beca laughed as Gizmo darted back and forth as it fell from the sky then leapt to catch it in his mouth.

"Let me see your little puggle do that!" Beca animatedly taunted as she kneeled down to congratulate Gizmo after he dropped the tennis ball at her feet.

"Rocky's just a chill dude," Jesse laughed.

"No he's lame," picking up the tennis ball Beca threw it across Marina Green and Gizmo immediately chased after it, "even Billie, who's smaller than Rocky, likes to play fetch."

It was Jesse's half day at work and for the past few hours he'd been hanging out with Beca. He had hoped when he was invited over that it was because Beca wanted to talk about the Chloe situation, but they've done none of that. So far she had been dodging all his lead in questions and it was annoying because they were best friends who talk about everything, well everything except for this.

A few days ago Chloe had stopped by to see Aubrey so Jesse is fully aware of what's going. Things were bad, really bad, and the seemingly happy and perfect couple were on the verge of a horrible breakup. Chloe had told them over dinner that if Beca didn't show up to couples counseling this afternoon that they were over. So today was Beca's last shot, but he didn't know if he would be able to convince Beca of that.

"Much like me, Rocky doesn't like to run," Jesse said bending down to reattach Rocky's leash.

"So once your kids arrive," the biggest grin spread across her best friends face as Beca gave Gizmo the hand signal to drop the tennis ball, "will he be the jealous big brother?"

Moving his eyes away from Rocky, Jesse shrugged, "Well he is an only child."

"Hey," picking up the tennis ball Beca threw it again, "there are benefits to being an only child."

"Like what?"

"You don't have to share your toys, you're always your mom's favorite and…"

"And you have a predisposition to sarcasm," Jesse grinned getting a shove. "I think the Rockstar will be fine with the new additions to the family."

Resting her hands on her hips Beca watched Gizmo trot back over, "I know it's early, but did you guys pick out names?"

"Surprisingly yeah…" Jesse answered proudly. It was nice to finally agree on something after stressing to the max about strollers and birthing plans. "Parker and Paige Swanson, Aubrey wanted that out of the way because," he hesitantly moved his eyes away from Beca, "Chloe's helping us decorate and is doing artwork for the kid's nursery."

"Oh nice…"

"She and Aubrey were up there for two hours a couple nights ago laying out all the plans."

"Chloe will do great," Beca tried to sound upbeat, but Jesse didn't buy it, "she's an awesome artist."

It was clear from the glare he was just shot that the topic of Chloe was strictly off limits, but Jesse didn't care, "You want to talk about her or last weekend?"

Beca shrugged as she readjusted her sunglasses, "Nope."

"Oh come on Beca," Jesse chided while shifting Rocky's leash to his opposite hand, "I know what happened in Roswell and I know that she gave you," he pointed, "an ultimatum about your relationship because you laughed at her attempt to fix it."

"Then you I guess you know everything," Beca stressed.

Jesse was actually surprised when he came home from work and found Chloe sitting at his kitchen table talking to Aubrey. It was the first time he'd seen her since the whole incident in Malibu and she looked like she had been put through the wringer. Chloe was a complete wreck and totally heartbroken over the situation with Beca and she felt totally responsible for it. Jesse isn't trying to take sides because they both need to cut each other a little slack, but Beca needs to go to couples counseling and she needs to listen to what Chloe has to say.

"She knows what she did hurt you and she regrets everything," Jesse blurted with a guilty expression, "She wants to try and work things out."

Clipping the leash on Gizmo, Beca picked up the tennis ball, "I guess avoiding me is her feeble attempt to fix things then."

The bitterness made Jesse angry, "Beca, you need to admit that you fucked up too."

"I've never had a dad so quit acting like you're mine…" Beca began walking across the park with Gizmo trotting happily beside her forcing Jesse to run to catch up.

Jesse was desperate, Aubrey had practically forced him into visiting Beca today. So it's not like he can go home empty handed and avoid the Beca topic all night, Aubrey wouldn't stand for it.

Looking over Jesse pleaded, "Chloe obviously still means a lot to you otherwise you wouldn't have flown to Atlanta." Beca just continued to glare straight ahead as she marched across the park, "The Beca I know has no problem dropping people from her life that she doesn't care about, but you can't with Chloe."

"Because I fucking love her dude!" Beca halted her movements and clinched her fists her side, "Is that what you want to hear?"

"She loves you too," Jesse simply stated after a beat of silence, "I heard her say it myself."

"She sure has a funny way of showing it," Beca sulked as she started moving again, this time at a slower pace, "especially after giving me that ultimatum about our relationship."

Reaching out Jesse grabbed his best friend's arm and brought her to a stop again.

"You're as much to blame as her, so step up and take some responsibility for the way you've been acting," Jesse scolded making Beca avert her eyes.

"Look, she's implanted herself into my life so fluidly," Beca rolled her hands like waves, "that I don't know how to function without her. I just really want her back," she slumped her shoulders in defeat, "but all we do is argue and you're right I've been a jerk…"

Jesse knew Beca finally admitting she was part of the problem was a start, "Well you need to figure out something otherwise you'll lose her."

As they walked in silence for a few minutes, Beca knew Chloe was going through an emotional rollercoaster and it had been unfair to push all the blame on her simply because Chloe had been the one who ran. Now she just feels guilty and embarrassed for the way she acted especially while they were in Roswell. She had antagonized the whole situation by pushing her pain and resentment onto Chloe during an already stressful time and she really fucked up by basically brushing off Chloe's suggestion to make things right.

Moving her sunglasses to the top of her head Beca sighed, "She asked me to go to therapy with her this afternoon."

"Really?" Jesse had been waiting for this opening.

"Chloe said it was," Beca looked down at Gizmo whose head perked up at the mention of her girlfriend's name, "to get a better understanding of her mindset and the shit she goes through…"

"You may not want to believe it, but family probably isn't all of Chloe's issues or fears," Beca's eyes remained focused on Gizmo so Jesse added, "She's not necessarily worried about how you function as a couple, it's more than likely how she thinks you perceive her."

"So you think couples counseling can be a good thing?"

"I think so. Aubrey and I go…" Jesse reassured once Beca's eyes ventured back to his. He'd never told anyone that they go a few times a month, but it has done wonders for their relationship, "It helps us to keep in check with each other on things we might otherwise overlook."

Aubrey was the queen of therapy so Beca should've guessed she would drag him to something like that.

Beca lightly laughed, "It must be tough having to listen to her control that situation too."

The laughter died away when Jesse frowned, "It's not a joke," he bluntly said, "we take our time there seriously."

"Sorry," Beca defensively held her hands up, "I didn't realize things were that bad."

"People don't go to couples counseling just when things are bad," Beca was clearly mocking him and now Jesse understands how Chloe felt when she said Beca had laughed at the idea. "We started going before we got married," he felt vindicated when the smirk on her face dropped. "Her church has these mandatory sessions with the priest just to make sure we were both ready to make that commitment. I didn't think we needed it, so I was the reluctant one," he pointedly stared. "It turned out to be really great and we learned a lot about each other. So after the wedding we just kind of continued."

"So your marriage isn't falling apart?"

Jesse just shook his head no and smiled, "Stronger than ever."

"You think I should go don't you?"

"I won't tell you it's easy or that it's fun," Jesse shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and they started walking again. "But what I can tell you is that it helps to discuss things before it gets to the point of resentment."

For the first time, Beca saw his point, "But what if we're past the point of fixing us."

"Then at least you'll know you both tried," Jesse replied.

The statement hit Beca right in the heart, "I think I'll go."

"Good…"

"Now let me ask you this," Beca briefly paused, "have you ever been to a couples retreat?"

Beca had researched the shit out of The Lodge At Fallen Leaves and everything she read pointed to it being a legit place. It really was more of a resort atmosphere, but as a bonus it had tight security, so there was no chance of paparazzi finding out she was there.

"We've been twice," Jesse just grinned, "last year we went for our anniversary, it's where we really discussed starting a family."

"What happened to her five year plan," Beca laughed.

"We just talked about it there," Jesse's face went bright red, "we didn't decide to stop taking any precautions until a few months ago."

"Dude," Beca playfully jabbed him with her elbow, "why you getting all squeamish and formal? You're having twins, it's pretty obvious that you didn't use protection."

"Anyways," Jesse lightly punched Beca's shoulder making her take a dramatic step to the side, "the retreat sounds gimmicky, but the one we went to is actually fun." Beca was messing with Gizmo but he could tell she was intently listening, "It was by a lake and had tons of couples activities and chances to be romantic and reconnect. We did The Lodge of Fallen something."

"Fallen Leaves," Beca interjected, "The Lodge At Fallen Leaves," Jesse just vigorously nodded, "that's where Chloe wants us to go."

"That place is great, it's beautiful and peaceful," Jesse rambled on as they walked, "and we had a total blast. Honestly if we didn't have to go to the therapy, we wouldn't have known we weren't on vacation."

As they worked their way back to her house and crossed the street Beca had to endure Jesse's movie worthy description of how great The Lodge At Fallen Leaves was. And for the last few months she has been on this whole journey of self improvement, so this might be the place to really solidify what she has already started along with getting her and Chloe's relationship back on track.

"Ok dude shut up, I'm not sold, but I'll think about it," Beca said checking her watch when they stopped in front of her house. "Thanks for the talk bro…"

Jesse held out his hand and curled it into a fist and they did a little fist bump, "No problemo, it's why I'm your lesbro."

"We talked about this, lesbro isn't a thing," Beca smacked the back of his head.

"Ouch! Ok fine," Jesse ducked away from the second hand while rubbing his head, "Can you at least let me know how things go with your girl crush?" Beca nodded and waved as he backed away, "Good, then the Rockstar and I are off, we're surprising my babies momma on our way home."

Beca typed her passcode into the keypad next to the garage door and it automatically started opening, "Come on Giz let's get you some treats for catching all those tennis balls."

---

"So Chloe," Dr. Worthington smiled as she got comfortable on the couch, "how are things today?"

Setting her purse at her feet Chloe crossed her legs, "Surprisingly good, in some ways I feel like my old self."

"Great, have you done some of the things we discussed," Dr. Worthington opened his notebook and scribbled down the date.

"Yep," Chloe gratefully smiled, "I got back into my running and workout routines and it's helped a ton."

Dr. Worthington smiled back, "See, getting up and moving helps pump those positive endorphins. I would imagine your painting has improved too."

Chloe timidly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear because besides laying awake late at night, painting is when she thinks about Beca the most.

"It has," Chloe's smile faltered slightly, "but I still have helpless moments that influence my art and my life."

"Well, your emotions are magnified right now so a variety of things can trigger how you feel at any particular moment. It can be startling, but it's all perfectly normal," Chloe silently nodded at the older man's gentle reassurance.

"So you're positive I don't need medication?" Chloe asked.

Dr. Worthington rested an elbow on the arm of his chair and looked over at his patient who was practically picking the fingernail polish off her pinky with her thumb.

"No," he eventually answered with ease, "you're actions and everything you tell me, give me no indication that we need to take that measure. Would it make you feel better if I prescribed you something?"

Honestly, Chloe kind of expected it when she first showed up so frazzled and distraught while rambling things off a mile a minute.

"I really don't know," Chloe glanced around the neatly decorated office before focusing back on Dr. Worthington, "I always figured therapy consisted of medication and giant leather couches to lay down on while confessing my inner most thoughts."

"I'm old school but not that old school," he joked back making them both laugh. "I like to think that talking is the best medicine."

"Beca says that too," Chloe looked towards the window and frowned. She and Beca have had no communication since their disastrous dinner in Roswell last weekend and it's been unsettling to say the least.

"Have you reached out to Beca?" Dr. Worthington wrote in his notebook,

"I tried," sighing deeply Chloe slumped against the couch cushions, "but we argued over texts again."

"I told you calling is a much more effective method of conveying what you need or want from her," Dr. Worthington wasn't reprimanding Chloe, instead he was gently reminding her that written connotations come off drastically different than when they are verbalized.

"I regret it…I regret a lot of things I've said and done to her lately," Chloe bounced her crossed leg.

Dr. Worthington didn't look up from his notebook as he wrote, "Do you think that maybe, subconsciously, you were hoping to argue so you wouldn't have to tell her you were going to Roswell?"

"I suppose…"

"And how'd that work out?"

Thinking back on the situation Chloe wished she had done things differently because maybe their relationship wouldn't be stuck in limbo right now.

"It backfired pretty spectacularly," Chloe confessed.

"How so?" Dr. Worthington looked up from his notebook.

Chloe bit her lip, "She found out where I was and came to me…"

"She came to Roswell?" Dr. Worthington asked, before Chloe could answer there was a light knock on the door, "Yes Melissa?"

A distraught looking secretary entered the room, "I'm sorry to disturb you…" the older woman's head ducked out of Chloe's view and she heard quiet whispering for a few seconds before reappearing, "but I have a Beca Mitchell claiming she's supposed to be part of your session," Chloe immediately sat up straighter. "I informed her of the clinics rules, but she has continued to be rude and persistent."

The last part made Chloe lightly laugh because yeah, Beca Mitchell pretty much told people what was going to happen whether the other party liked it or not. The situation could play out in two ways, either by being 'rudely persistent' or going the sweet and charming avenue, both of which Chloe found sexy in completely different ways.

"Give me one second," the door gently closed and Dr. Worthington turned back to Chloe, "I know we've discussed her being here and I just assumed that you had decided against it."

"No I asked her to come but then we fought about it…" Chloe knew there was no way to sugar coat their situation, "I had no idea she was coming."

"Do you want her to leave?" Chloe just shook her head no, "Good, I think this will be good for you two. Just remember, Rome wasn't built in a day," Dr. Worthington smiled as he stood.

"I'm giving you fair warning, she can be standoffish and defensive when she thinks she's being singled out. Oh and aside from the whole music prodigy thing, she's highly intellectual and she'll hide it behind this awkward persona," Chloe rushed out because even she wasn't sure how Beca's attitude would be this afternoon. "But underneath it all she's a very caring and loving person and once she drops her guard, that'll shine through."

"I'll keep that in mind," Dr. Worthington said with a smile before opening the door again. There was a few seconds of brief conversation before he eventually closed it and returned to his chair. "She just needs to sign some paperwork, it'll be just a few minutes."

"Oh ok…" reaching down Chloe moved her purse away from her feet and underneath the small coffee table so Dr. Worthington wouldn't see how nervous she really was.

As the minutes ticked by and they lightly chatted it finally sank in that Beca was actually here. It had been selfish to give Beca an ultimatum about their relationship then just expect her to show up, without any doubts, ready to put the effort in after all the shit Chloe had put her through this last month. Yet, now that Beca was actually here, Chloe knew that despite everything that has happened, Beca is willing to try to make things work if she is.

"So, now that she's here, how's this going to work?" Chloe curiously asked.

"Not much different than our conversations," Dr. Worthington quickly shut his notebook hearing a light knock and stood, "I'm just here to offer guidance and suggestions and to ask the questions that will allow each of you to see things from a different perspective."

Chloe liked Dr. Worthington's approach to therapy, it's why she found him easy to talk to. Sometimes before she knew it, she was delving into some part of her past that's particularly painful and he's offering quick antidotes that help change her thought process so that she can move past it.

It was weird being the outsider watching as Dr. Worthington greeted Beca as she stepped through the door, because Chloe had always envisioned them arriving together. It was upsetting, Beca was just standing there juggling two coffee cups while shaking Dr. Worthington's hand and purposely avoiding eye contact with her. That never would've happened a month ago and was yet another indication of how broken they are.

"Miss Mitchell, please have a seat," Dr. Worthington gestured to the spot next to Chloe.

"Beca is fine," Beca's eyes finally landed on Chloe and she saw a flash of gratitude for being here. "Sorry I'm late," she held out a coffee cup and gave an apologetic smile, "I thought I had enough time to get us coffee and make it here on time. I probably should've drove, but it's whatever, I'm here now."

"Thanks Bec," accepting the cup Chloe noted how the logo was from their favorite coffee shop just a few blocks from here. Beca had gone out of her way to get this and the gesture didn't go unnoticed, "It's actually just what I needed."

"I went with the soy milk instead of regular like you always do," Beca scratched the back of her neck, embarrassed that she knew all of Chloe's orders by heart. Hesitantly looking away she quickly slipped her bag to the ground.

As Dr. Worthington predicted, Beca stepped towards the loveseat directly opposite of Chloe. It was typical behavior of couples that were distant from each other. It signified they wanted to see each other, but that reaching out and comforting one another wasn't a viable option at the moment.

Dr. Worthington cleared his throat once everyone was comfortable, "Beca, thank you for coming."

"Yeah absolutely," Beca gave a hesitant smile and Chloe shot her a mouthed 'thank you'.

Dr. Worthington smiled, "So a quick rundown of my rules. I do not tolerate foul, disparaging or derogatory remarks directed towards each other," he said glancing between the two, "I understand people get annoyed and upset, but there will be no yelling. Yelling won't solve anything, it only intensifies the situation and makes it worse. Can we all agree to that?"

"I mean you probably won't get much out of us then," Beca flippantly said tapping her fingers rapidly against her cup. Her fingers froze when Chloe shot her a glare, "What?"

"Can you save your sarcastic remarks for later and just follow directions," Chloe said in exasperation.

They'd been in the same room for barely two minutes and Chloe could read the signs, they were already gearing up for an argument.

"Beca I have simple terms, you can either agree to them or you can leave," Dr. Worthington interrupted breaking the mounting tension, "What will it be?"

"I'll play by the rules," Beca conceded before sipping from her cup. "Believe it or not I do care."

Dr. Worthington looked at Beca, "About what?"

"About her and about us," Beca's eyes fluttered to Chloe's and they locked for a few seconds. She needed to give this a fair shot, she owed Chloe at least that much. "I just," she huffed out, annoyed she couldn't find the right words, "I don't know."

"That's ok…" Turning to Chloe, Dr. Worthington asked, "Why do you think you asked Beca to come in today as opposed to all those other times I've asked you to bring her?"

"I'm not sure," Chloe's answer was met with silence, the only thing that could be heard was the ticking clock, "I guess I'm worried I'll lose her if I don't show her something about my life."

"That's all I've ever wanted," Beca jumped in, but not in an abrasive or annoyed way, "I just want to be trusted enough to be to be involved in certain parts of your life."

"So did I," Chloe agreed playing with the lid on top of her coffee cup.

Looking up from his notes Dr. Worthington asked, "Where do think you two went wrong?"

They both just stared at each other trying to decipher when and where that happened.

"For me," Beca cautiously began, "I'd have to say the night Chloe left me. All she left behind was this note and that just left me with more unanswered questions."

Even though Beca was being tactful, her words stung and Chloe felt her anger building and she tried to remain calm.

"No, I think that's the excuse you've been telling yourself so you can justify your anger towards her. I want you both to look past that argument for the time being, because this sense of mistrust, in both of you," Dr. Worthington looked left and right making eye contact with both of them, "began way before that incident."

Beca just had this deer caught in the headlights look and at any other time Chloe would've found it funny. Except today it wasn't, Beca had totally been caught off guard.

"I can't say that I didn't trust Beca," Chloe finally spoke, "because for the first time in my life she felt like the first person I could trust."

"But you still refused to open up to her about your family, why?" Dr. Worthington asked.

How casually Dr. Worthington jumped right into the darkest part of Chloe's life surprised Beca. But what was even more surprising was that Chloe didn't seem fazed by it at all. Maybe Chloe really had been making progress during the time they'd been separated.

"Even when they were alive my family has always been a taboo subject for me," Beca was intently listening and watching her and it made Chloe shift uncomfortably in her seat, "I grew up in a very traditional southern town where you were expected to conform to certain social norms, social norms I was never comfortable in to begin with."

Beca held up a finger silently asking for the floor, "I saw that while you were talking to that bitch Jennifer," Dr. Worthington shot her a disapproving glare while Chloe giggled. "Sorry," she quickly apologized, "what I meant to say was, that chick was disrespectful and obnoxiously rude to Chloe in subtle and demeaning ways. I'm glad I saw that though," she nervously tapped her coffee cup, "well not like happy happy or whatever."

"Why?"

Beca's answer was quick because she had thought a lot about that interaction, "It was the first time I saw the intense pressure she was constantly put under. It made me realize that the stuck up assholes back in her hometown never got a chance to see the amazing person I see every day. And I can't imagine having to hide who you are around anyone, even your own parents."

"It sucked, even though my family was privileged and had money, my life sucked," Chloe had never been more reminded of that than during that interaction with Jennifer. "My family's name carries a lot of weight and I was different, I always had been, and they made sure to remind me of it every day. So I just conformed to what they wanted because it was easier."

"And I get that," Beca took a swig from her coffee cup, "it was kind of traditional the way you two greeted each other," Chloe simply nodded, "I'd only ever seen stuff like that in movies."

"What did you see?" Dr. Worthington picked up his pen.

"The Chloe I know is just different from the Chloe I saw in Roswell…" Beca paused and it was very clear that the others were waiting on her to finish, "She was almost snobbish, speaking with this air of sophistication that I'm not used to. Chloe's generally very down to earth and easily approachable, she has this ability that makes you gravitate towards her. It's why I find her so easy to be around."

"So you've seen two sides of Chloe," Dr. Worthington read his notes, "Which do you think is the true one?"

Beca tapped the side of her coffee cup, "I think she falls somewhere in between."

Chloe nodded at that, "I agree because there are things from both words that I like. But for the sake of not having people ask me personal questions I lean more towards the happy and fun version of myself."

"California Chloe?" Dr. Worthington asked.

"Yes…"

"Beca," Dr. Worthington turned back to her, "on a daily basis, what version do you get."

Setting her cup on the small side table Beca was reluctant to answer, "It depends on the situation really. She's more vulnerable with me than anyone else except when it comes to her family. If they come up then she shuts down and I can see," raising a hand she twisted it next to her head, "the internal switch getting flipped."

"I see that with you too," Chloe admitted.

Beca's eyes shot to Chloe's in alarm and it was almost like Beca didn't want anything focused on her. But the only way for this to work was if they were both completely honest about what they see and feel.

"You knew about my mom," Beca was caught off guard and scrambling, "you knew she died. I told you everything, I even took you to the cemetery!"

"How'd your mom die?" Dr. Worthington saw Beca's face drop and worry cross her features, "I'm just trying to get a better understanding of your defensiveness that's all."

"She had a massive cerebral aneurysm," playing with the clasp of her watch Beca took in a deep breath, "she had been working on a last minute recording session for some movie, one of the producers found her after grabbing them some coffee."

The autopsy revealed the aneurysm was caused by a defect in an artery wall that went unnoticed during regular checkups. Beca didn't really blame anyone, no one knew, and nothing could have prevented it. The only comfort she had was knowing that it all happened so fast that her mom never suffered. She just never got to say goodbye.

"Chloe said she died very young," Dr. Worthington finally spoke after a prolonged pause. He got a small nod and total eye contact avoidance from Beca, a clear indication that this subject was off limits. "It's tough to lose a parent, especially when it's least expected."

"Yeah tell me about it," Beca bitterly laughed wiping her nose with the back of her hand, "but that doesn't make me feel any less guilty for not answering her last call."

"You know, I've noticed a very clear divide in people who experience some type of tragedy in their lives, particularly ones they feel responsible for," the couple's eyes landed back on Dr. Worthington as he carefully set down his pen. "Sometimes people fixate on the small inconsequential details totally unrelated to what happened or they worry about what they think they did to cause the outcome," which in Chloe's case was the argument she had with her family. "The end result is always the same though, whatever happened was out of their control. Nothing they could've said or done would've prevented the event from happening."

Beca weakly nodded, "I accept what happened, and I know that even if I had answered her call she still would've died."

"And I know my parents would've found some reason to leave the night they died," Chloe admitted, "They probably never planned on staying very long to see me to begin with."

Even if Chloe would've kept up the ruse of being in law school and living the perfect life that had been laid out for her, her parents still would've found some excuse to leave. It was a hard thing to accept at first and one she probably never would've faced had she and Beca not had their argument.

"So how does that help define us?" Beca finally questioned gesturing between them.

"You both carry the same type of guilt, it just manifests itself in different ways." Beca's mouth popped open to protest but was quickly silenced when Dr. Worthington's hand shot up, "Take for example your status, I understand you're quite famous."

"Yes," Beca flatly stated, she didn't see how this was pertinent to their present situation, "I own a recording studio and I produce music and write songs for a living."

"She's being modest…" Chloe flashed Beca a grin, earning her a small smile hidden behind an eye roll.

Dr. Worthington removed a sheet of paper from the inside pocket of his notebook and read off some of the more significant accomplishments in Beca's career. Beca had to admit this guy had done his homework, but it also meant that Chloe actively talked about her and the whole DJ Titanium thing.

"That's quite a rap sheet for someone in their mid-twenties," Dr. Worthington said placing the paper back in his notebook.

"Thank you," reaching for her coffee cup Beca took a shaky swig, "I don't like using that stuff as leverage. As far as I'm concerned it just comes with the territory. I love making music and I guess that," she nodded in the direction of his notebook, "means I'm good at it."

"I've met a lot of people who love making music and are good at it, but they haven't achieved the level of success that you have," Dr. Worthington curiously looked at Beca, "Why do you think that is?"

"Luck?"

The passive aggressive reply told him Beca knew exactly what the answer was and was acting like she didn't. She may not know or even understand the full meaning behind it, but Dr. Worthington knows Beca has a vague idea.

Beca was smart, Chloe had told him that, but he had also found a research paper coauthored by Dr. Susan Townsend, a child psychology professor, and Dr. Robert Murdock, a piano and composition professor, both tenured at USC. They specifically named the then eight year old Beca Mitchell as the papers principle subject and set out to prove a lesser known theory that a musically gifted person could also demonstrate a predisposition for high levels of functioning in other academic areas. All participants were given the same series of assessments multiple times to establish a baseline before a final standardized IQ test was combined with a comprehensive and intensive musicality test. It wasn't surprising to see that Beca Mitchell boarded on genius levels in every music related category, higher than anyone else tested, including college aged students, what was surprising was her score on the IQ test. She scored on the higher end of the gifted range, making her both musically and intellectually gifted.

"No…"

With downcast eyes, Beca whispered, "Music is all I've ever known and I'm good at it."

"Why do you create music?" Dr. Worthington asked directly.

The question was a completely opposite from Dr. Worthington's original train of thought, because he wanted to divert her attention so he could catch her off guard.

Beca shrugged as Chloe watched on waiting for an answer, "Look I can't do anything else."

"I have a published academic research paper focused completely on you that says otherwise," as he pulled out a copy of the psychology journal Beca swallowed hard. "According to them you're career opportunities were endless. They specifically mentioned…"

"I don't care what that paper says," Beca cut in motioning towards the journal in his hands, "And obviously neither did my mom because I never knew that thing existed until I found a copy of it while looking for her will."

"Your mom was musician too right?"

"Yes…"

"So that was something you two easily had in common," he crossed his fingers to emphasize their bond.

"Music was just easy for me," Beca stumbled for her words as she grew angrier by the second, "it was something I grew up around. I mean I have pictures of me at two," she held up her fingers to emphasize her point, "two years old in a recording studio sitting at my mom's feet surrounded an entire orchestra. My usual toys weren't dolls or bikes, like normal kids, they were drumsticks and xylophones. And when kids were running around playgrounds I was roaming around movie studio soundstages and hanging out with producers and jazz musicians while my mom worked. So naturally," she slammed her coffee cup down on the table, "I gravitated to music and she eventually realized I was good at it."

"Bec," Chloe tentatively said, "breathe please."

Beca ran a hand through her hair and followed Chloe's advice, "She was able to give me the creative outlet I needed and when I surpassed her musically, she knew the right people that could help me."

Dr. Worthington set the paper down on the coffee table between them, "Am I right to assume that she never knew how smart you were until that?"

Beca shrugged, she had read that paper at least a dozen times and she still has no idea why her mom never said anything, "I mean I guess."

"Maybe she encouraged your musical ability because it was all she knew…Like any parent she wanted to be involved in your life and music was an easy way for her to do that. It was a love you two shared and was an easy way to spend quality time together. And it gave you two the typical mother and daughter relationship you both needed." Dr. Worthington chose his next words carefully, "So after seeing the outcome in that research paper," he pointed to the coffee table, "she chose what she knew so that she could guide you every step of the way, but it probably created its own set of challenges that she didn't anticipate. Advancing you musically took you away from normal childhood experiences didn't it?" He noted the uneasy silence in the room, "You probably question a lot of your actions today because you don't have those experiences to fall back on. And let me guess, you had a hard time making friends because of your unique ability? Much like Chloe, you didn't quite fit in with your peers and you didn't feel like you could trust them either, right? But instead of altering who you are to fit in like Chloe did, instead you just closed yourself off."

Anger flashed over her girlfriend's face and Chloe softly responded, "Bec, behind this he has a point," grey-blue eyes flipped to hers and relaxed slightly. "Trust me he isn't fishing for information."

"I had my mom, she was my best friend and was all I needed," Beca heatedly replied even though everything Dr. Worthington said was right.

"I think that you hide who you really are behind the DJ Titanium persona," Dr. Worthington brought the tension down, "and you use your music to mask the pain because you lost the most important person in your life."

Beca went rigid in her seat, "So what if I do?"

Chloe saw the signs of a breakdown coming and all she wanted to do was comfort Beca, either by resting a hand on her girlfriend's thigh or lacing their fingers together so Beca could run a thumb in circles along her palm like she always does when frustrated or sad. Except she didn't, she didn't even move from her spot on the couch, instead she just sat there and waited.

"If your mom was still alive, do you think that you'd be as successful as you are right now?" He had just walked into a touchy subject again judging by the glare.

"We wouldn't be having this conversation if she was still alive," Beca slumped her shoulders as her eyes drifted over to her girlfriend, "my life probably would've gone a different direction and I wouldn't have met Chloe."

Placing a finger to his lips Dr. Worthington studied Beca for a moment, "So let me ask you again, why do you think you have obtained the level of success that you have?"

Beca was ticked off that he was just talking in circles, "I've told you."

"No you didn't, think deeper …"

"Beca give it a chance," Chloe pleaded, "please…"

Dr. Worthington's methods were at times confusing because he wanted the patient to discover the answer rather than just giving it. Chloe found it frustrating in the beginning too, but so far that tactic has been instrumental in the progress she has made.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Beca's voice rose in pitch as her hands nervously drummed against her knees. "Do you want me to say that I make music to compensate for her not being here?"

Dr. Worthington raised an eyebrow, "Keep going…"

"Fine," Beca was fuming at his evasiveness, "does me using music as a means to prove myself because the one person, the one," she held up a single finger, "critic that matters isn't here to tell me I'm doing a good job anymore, suit you better?"

So that caught Beca completely off guard and she crossed her arms over her chest in indignation. She was so mad because every word in that last statement was true and she hated that he had pulled the confession out of her. That was something nobody knew and it was something she had fully intended on locking away forever and never speaking about.

"I think you do exactly that," Dr. Worthington quickly jotted the breakthrough down in his notebook. "You don't want anything to do with fame."

"You have no idea," Beca softly said rubbing her hands together, "I've only ever wanted a normal life and I just…"

"Your fame and how you deal with it and how it effects your relationship is a topic for another day," Dr. Worthington said and Beca visibly relaxed giving him a weak smile before he gently steered the conversation back on topic. "So, yes, I think you're constantly churning out music because the driving force in your life isn't there to tell you that you're good enough anymore. You have no one stopping," he smacked his fist against his palm, "you from overthinking everything and working too much."

"Is that why my perfectionist tendencies have magnified since she died?" Beca simply asked.

"Absolutely," Dr. Worthington agreed noting how it was rare for someone to freely admit to having that quality. "Just out of curiosity, what makes you finally say I'm done with a song?"

"I really don't know," Beca was being completely honest, "but what I do know is that I have Chloe now," she warmly smiled at her girlfriend, "and she kinda makes everything in my life normal again. I feel like I'm home with her."

Dr. Worthington instantly agreed, "Because she's filling the void you lost the day your mom died. She's giving you the balance you need and so much more."

Damn this guy was good, Beca thought. She did miss her mom's constant stream of loving encouragement because when she died, it stopped and her world spiraled out of control. Beca buried herself in her work and that constant nonstop grind caused her to come dangerously close to a nervous breakdown, but then she met Chloe and it was like her whole world righted itself. Being with Chloe made her feel normal and loved and it gave her this identity and purpose in life that was outside of music.

"Didn't know this was a session just for me," Beca breathed out making everyone laugh.

"It's not all going to be about you," Dr. Worthington shifted in his seat, "unless you want it to be," he joked.

It felt really good to be making some progress in understanding each other because Chloe didn't know a whole lot about what caused Beca to stress over her music or why she hid behind the DJ Titanium name. And it wasn't very often that someone's whole motivation for doing something was because of a lack of approval from a parent. But the scary thing for Chloe was that it wasn't that far off from her own story.

"No thanks," Beca rubbed her palms over her knees. She and Chloe smiled at each other, like really truly smiled for the first time in forever and it felt good, "It's someone else's turn in the hot seat."

"So, now I'd like to shift back to Chloe," Dr. Worthington spoke, "I like to run my couples sessions so that things aren't one sided. It's only fair."

"Oh ok," Chloe steeled herself. Taking a sip from her coffee cup she held it tightly in her hands, "Ask away I guess."

Dr. Worthington flipped back a couple pages in his notebook, "Beca mentioned a drastic shift in the way you act with her versus how you acted with an acquaintance back in Roswell." Looking up from his notes he asked, "Why did you feel the need to do that?"

"Old habits die hard I guess," Beca's eyes flashed to hers and Chloe knew that wasn't a good enough explanation. "When you come from a traditional southern family like mine, the way you speak and act has to represent your status otherwise you get looked down on."

"Understandable, but you didn't answer the question," Dr. Worthington pointed out before Beca could jump in.

Crossing her legs, Chloe thought for a few seconds, "Like I said, I never fit in with that crowd, but I learned to play the part. And that afternoon I just played the part."

"What like a game?" Beca asked with sarcasm. "Were you were just playing the part of my girlfriend too?"

"Beca," Dr. Worthington sternly spoke, "don't pass judgment until you get the whole story. She let you finish so give her the same courtesy."

Beca just sat back and gestured to Chloe that she had the floor.

"From the time I was born I could never do anything right, I always seemed to let my parents down," Chloe took in a couple deep breaths to calm her nerves, "And the only way to gain my parents approval was to alter myself to their likes and dislikes."

"Why didn't you just rebel?" Beca asked.

Picking at the rim of her coffee cup, Chloe just shrugged, "It's easy to suggest that when you had a mom who allowed you to be independent and outspoken, but my parents were never given that opportunity growing up, so neither was I."

For a long time Chloe resented the fact that her parents never tried to break from tradition, but in the past few weeks she has learned to forgive them for it. Through some poking and prodding by Dr. Worthington, it became very clear that her parents were severely unhappy and living in a loveless marriage that had probably been doomed from the beginning. So they projected their attitudes and dislikes onto her and her sister as a means of coping with their own shortcomings.

"With my family, especially my dad, you didn't rebel because if you did, it was a bad reflection on him," Chloe let out a shaky breath. "He was a prominent member of society and his children weren't allowed to fall out of line."

"But how can kids live like that?" Beca asked.

"Kids adapt because they thrive on positive reinforcement from their parents, teachers and even their peers," Dr. Worthington answered looking over at Beca. "Children are like little sponges, they see and hear everything. So if a parent or parental figure is dissatisfied with their actions, they'll do whatever it takes to gain that approval or in the case of their peers fit in." Turning back to Chloe he questioned, "When did you first realize you didn't have to alter who you were to be accepted?"

Chloe's answer was quick, because it was such a defining day in her life, "During an art class while I was away at boarding school…"

If Chloe's parents had their way she never would've taken the class to begin with, but it was part of the schools mandatory curriculum and they never had an option. The class was always her last one of the day so she and a handful of students always lingered to finish up that day's project or to chat with Dr. Adams, the art teacher.

Dr. Adams had always taken an active interest in Chloe's artwork, so it wasn't unusual to be asked about it after class. Words like surrealism and shading and perfect proportions were constantly tossed out and Dr. Adams always told Chloe that that she had the potential to be very successful. Chloe can still remember how nice it was to express that side of herself without being ridiculed so she embraced Dr. Adams criticism, praise and support. Dr. Adams was the first person to take an interest in not only her art but also her life and the older women eventually became the mother figure Chloe had been missing all her life.

"I felt like I really found my place," Chloe twisted the cardboard sleeve on her coffee cup, "Dr. Adams helped me break out of my shell and I was able to be the person I constantly had to hide."

Dr. Worthington followed up with, "And what did your parents think?"

Chloe frowned remembering the scathing phone calls she would get when Dr. Adams praised her artwork in progress report that were sent home every few weeks, "They hated it, told me it was a useless hobby."

"Yeah well, your friend Jennifer made that very clear," Beca sarcastically said.

Dr. Worthington completely understood Beca's frustration, "How did you, in Beca's words, rebel?"

Chloe set her cup on a small side table and when she turned back Beca was expectantly staring at her. But it wasn't the harsh and reprimanding looks she got during their arguments, this time Beca was actually listening and beginning to understand the type of life she lived.

"I continued to take art classes," Chloe's one saving grace at boarding school was that they always let the student pick their electives, "and that just pissed my parents off."

Placing an elbow on the edge of the couch Beca rested her head in her hand, "Did they know how good you were?"

"I think so…" Chloe briefly hesitated, "I found my mom looking at some pictures I'd sketched one summer. She didn't say much, just told me to make sure my father didn't see them and she never mentioned it again. But she never pressured me to take anything other than art as an elective either. So in a way you can say I won."

"So I'll ask you the same thing I asked Beca, if your parents were still alive do you think you'd be as successful as you are right now," Dr. Worthington simply picked up his pen and waited.

"You can't define our successes in the same way," Beca blurted without even thinking and it made Chloe shoulders slump and hurt cross her face. "That didn't come across like I wanted it too," she tried to recover, but the damage was already done, "I'm sorry Chlo."

They were making so much progress and Beca just blew it with one insensitive comment. Had they been alone Chloe probably would've slapped her and Beca knows she deserves so much more than a simple slap for that. Her Grammy's and top ten hits were every bit as important as Chloe graduating from Columbia and securing an internship and job at Rolling Stone while being a kickass artist and photographer.

"Like we've already heard, we wouldn't be having this conversation if they were," Chloe totally disregarded Beca by focusing in on Dr. Worthington.

"Chloe I'm sorry," Beca said and blue eyes shot to hers in anger, "I didn't mean to sound so…callous."

"Then how did you mean it Beca?" Chloe's voice was laced with resentment as a hand balled into a fist against her thigh, "Because from my perspective it sounds like everything I've accomplished doesn't measure up to even a tenth of what you've done."

Beca breathed out through her nose in frustration, "I don't know, but not whatever you just said. You can't really group music and journalism together, they're just different."

"Might I suggest a compromise?" Dr. Worthington interjected to ease the growing tension and stop the impending fight. "Why don't we call each of your 'specialties'," he used air quotes, "art? Because depending on who you talk to, both," he made sure to connect eyes with each of them, "can be considered an art form of some sort."

And just like that, the problem was solved and the two kind of just looked at each other and nodded in agreement without saying a word.

"So Chloe, I'll ask you again, do you think you'd be as successful as you are right now if your parents were still alive?"

"No…" Chloe said after a few seconds.

Dr. Worthington didn't hesitate to add, "Please tell us why you feel that way."

Chloe took a few minutes to gather her thoughts as she spun her thumb ring, "I think had they not died I would've been to scared of the repercussions I'd have to endure if I continued my journalism career. I would've gone to law school just to make them happy."

Writing the answer down in his notebook Dr. Worthington was about to comment when Beca beat him to it.

"But you're such a confident, strong and independent person," Beca began in a soft tone, "it's one of the things that first attracted me to you. Why would you let yourself fall back to what they wanted?"

"Because if I didn't, I'd have nobody," tears were pooling in Chloe's eyes, "I hated my parents, but they were still my parents, you know," she just shrugged, "I couldn't just walk away from the only family I had because I had my little sister to think about. She was so young and I felt like it was my responsibility to be the loving presence in her life even if it was at my own expense."

"You were willing to do that for her even if it made you unhappy," a nod and wiping away of stray tears was the only response Beca got. "Chloe…"

It was then that Beca fully realized why Chloe had made the sacrifice to quit Rolling Stone for her and never say a word about it. And it made their entire fight that afternoon at her beach house come full circle. It was such a dick move to use Chloe's family as a weapon when all Chloe was doing was trying to protect the person she loved.

"I think that Chloe, much like you Beca," Dr. Worthington began even though he hated interrupting the moment the two were having, "is hiding behind the pain of losing her parents in order to justify to herself that she's good enough for whatever direction her life takes."

"I don't get it, she went against the grain," Beca was totally confused now, "that's such a badass thing to do."

"Not when you use your parents death as a crutch," Chloe answered because that was singlehandedly the hardest lesson she has had learn over the past month. "Whenever something great or horrible happens in my life I can't stop thinking about how they would react. Part of the reason I keep things bottled up is because it's hard to disassociate myself from that way of thinking."

"And that's what we're trying to fix," Dr. Worthington said happy with Chloe's response, "There are other things that have compounded on top of this causing other issues, but at the core this, I believe, is Chloe's main problem. And we are working to sort it all out…It'll just take time."

Beca nodded reaching for her coffee cup, taking a quick sip she set it aside with a shaky hand, "Is that why you kept all these really important things from me? Because you thought I'd judge you instead of giving you the love and support you need?"

"Yeah I guess," Chloe glanced at Dr. Worthington and he gave her an encouraging smile, "Before I met you, I'd never had anyone be supportive of me and my own choices. I never had anyone tell me that as long as I'm happy that they were happy. And I'd never been in a relationship where the other person saw us as a team." She let out a breath, it felt so good to be telling Beca all of this, "So when we fought, the mentality I grew up with came rushing back and I got scared because I didn't want to go back there…I didn't know what to do so I ran."

"Let me give you an example Beca," Dr. Worthington said seeing Beca's confusion. "If something's going good in her life, like you and your relationship," he stressed because any way he looked at it, Beca is good for Chloe, "she tries to justify her happiness by constantly telling herself that she beat the odds…Because at some point in her life her parents probably told her she was never worthy of love."

Beca glanced at Chloe then back at Dr. Worthington, "I heard her say something similar when we were at the cemetery together."

Beca was beginning to understand and Dr. Worthington was happy she had made the connection.

"Even though it isn't directly projected onto you," Dr. Worthington began, "in fact you probably weren't even aware any of that was going on until your fight, how she reacted is still a type of defense mechanism. We all have them they just…"

"Manifest themselves in different ways," Beca deadpanned with smirk.

Dr. Worthington lightly laughed at his own reference being thrown back at him, "Besides hiding behind your music and this superstar identity what do you think your defense mechanisms are?"

"Sarcasm," Chloe let out a bark of laughter behind her tears and it made Beca grin, "wit and…"

"You like playing the awkward card too," Chloe interrupted because there are times when Beca uses that trait to her advantage. "I've seen you use it in certain social situations where you don't necessarily understand what is considered normal and are worried about how you'll be perceived."

Beca just cocked her head questionably and from the corner of her eye she could see Dr. Worthington writing in his notebook while subtly eyeing them every few seconds. It was almost like he was waiting for them to figure it out instead of just giving the answer. She hated to admit it, but Jesse was right, couples counseling really wasn't that bad and this has been a major learning experience. Plus this doctor's style was unique, she wasn't being bombarded with questions like she imagined and it was more like they were having the very conversation they should've had months ago.

So yeah, Beca sees how this is an amazing thing for them and she feels so bad for mocking it. She's glad she came today, she can see the progress Chloe has made in such a short amount of time and she also feels like there is potential for them to get back to where they used to be.

"Can you give us an example?" Dr. Worthington asked.

"Sure…" Chloe bit her lip hoping this didn't come off offensive, "When we first started dating you warned me that you didn't have a lot of experience with relationships and I was ok with that," they shyly smiled at each other and it made her heart flutter, "but you constantly apologized for totally missing cues or not understanding what certain suggestive connotations meant all the time."

"Like what?" Dr. Worthington focused on Chloe.

"Like the time we got slightly hammered one night at Aubrey's deli," Chloe remembers it like it was yesterday, they drank way to much beer and relentlessly flirted with each other as she cleaned up. "We'd slept together a handful of times by then so when we were walking home and got to my doorstep I playfully asked her to come up for coffee." The blush that ran up Beca's cheeks was so cute, just like it was that night, "I knew full well what that meant, but I had to physically lead her inside and explain why no coffee would be involved." She chuckled, "My suggestive connotations went right over her head, she just didn't get it and it was…I don't know endearing."

"I didn't get it because it did go right over my head," Beca defended but not in hurtful way, it was more of a tone that was something out of her control, but she grinned anyway. "It was just another social learning experience that I missed seeing as a teenager, because I was so focused on music."

"I know, but I also knew you were that way before you ever told me," Chloe giggled when Beca's mouth popped open to protest. "You had hesitations about a lot of things, but I only acknowledged them when I felt like you were totally unsure. Most of the time you just figured it out and eventually became super confident in yourself." The wheels in Beca's head were turning and they smiled at each other again, "But on the other hand when those situations pop up while we're out in public or around our friends, sometimes you have a tendency to be a little more guarded and you hide behind this charming awkwardness." God it was so hard to not find the things Beca was totally oblivious to cute, "I think you intentionally use it as a defense mechanism when you're unsure of things and want to divert attention."

Beca shifted uneasily in her chair and tried to avoid eye contact with Chloe and Dr. Worthington. They were obviously waiting for her to say something, anything, but how can she create such a witty and sarcastic comeback when everything Chloe said was totally true and she hadn't realized it until now.

Beca's head snapped up hearing Chloe's light giggles again, "What?"

"You're doing it right now," Chloe said hiding her smile behind her hand, "and for the record I think it's totally adorable and it's one of your quirks I love. To me it means you're being real and vulnerable. It's how you've always been with me, even in the beginning when we were just hanging out."

"Thanks I guess," Beca gave a lopsided smile.

"Now for the sake of keeping things fair," Dr. Worthington smiled at both of them and he noted how Beca's fingers were rapidly tapping against her knees, "Beca can you give me an example of one of Chloe's defense mechanisms you've picked up on."

Stilling her fingers, Beca ran her hands up and down her thighs thankful to be out of hot seat for the time being, "Umm I'd have to say her words, she's very good with words and structuring them in a way that makes you never know how she's really feeling."

Writing that down in his notebook Dr. Worthington asked, "How so? Chloe's a writer so wouldn't you agree words are her specialty?" Beca simply nodded. "So is she manipulative?"

"No never," Beca shook her head. "Well, there are times," she flashed a grin to Chloe and it was returned, "look, she knows how to work me to get what she wants."

"Like?" Dr. Worthington prodded, knowing exactly where this was going.

"Like, I don't know, picking out movies or what to eat for dinner or even during sex," Beca blushed stumbling over her last words, "but it's never anything substantial and I let it slide because honestly," her eyes flicked to Chloe's then away, "I like the attention, I've never had a girl be like that with me. She's very touchy-feely and that combined with her eloquent way of speaking honestly…it turns me on. It always has, even when we were just hanging out."

Dr. Worthington jotted that down, "And you don't consider that manipulative?"

"No! Absolutely not," Beca hoped she was being she very clear, "I don't think Chloe has it in her to be manipulative in the way you want me to say. I just meant that in certain situations she's very good at expressing herself in a way so that you don't know what she's thinking or how's she's feeling."

That was actually one of the first things Dr. Worthington had picked up on when Chloe started coming in. Again it wasn't unusual, he just saw it as one of her many defense mechanisms.

"I see what you're getting at, so does she have a tell?" Dr. Worthington turned a page in his notebook, "Something that you've picked up on that she does while using her words to make everything kosher."

Reaching for her cup Beca took a swig of the now cold coffee then set it aside and rapidly tapped her fingers against her knees. She knew what example she wanted to use but she wasn't sure if it was appropriate considering everything she'd learned today.

"See for you," Dr. Worthington stilled Beca's moving fingers, "your tell is when you are nervous or don't want to answer a particular question is to tap your fingers. It's the first thing I noticed about you."

"Me too," Chloe added.

"Everyone has something they do when they've been put in a compromising position…"

"So like she twists her thumb ring," Beca interrupted nodding to Chloe who quickly covered her hand, "When she's just talking and having a good time she doesn't really mess with it, but when something triggers her, she'll start spinning it. And that's when she tries to talk her way around a subject."

"And why do you notice it as opposed to say someone like Aubrey," Beca was surprised that the doctor freely used that name without looking through his notebook.

"Because," Beca bounced a leg instead of tapping her fingers, "we spend a lot of time together, we're umm," she nervously glanced between Chloe and the doctor then down at her hands, "intimate. God that sounds so cliché when I just admitted we have sex five minutes ago." She could feel her face heating with embarrassment, "Ok, so like I have a best friend who I've known for years, but I don't pick up on things with him like I do with Chloe. So it's just different when you're sleeping with someone."

"I wouldn't say it's totally the sexual part of your relationship although that's part of it," Dr. Worthington's words were gentle and it put Beca at ease. "But you're right, the way you love a best friend versus the way you love and interact with a girlfriend are different."

"No I get it now, it's the type of connection we have right," Dr. Worthington nodded as Beca fiddled with the simple gold necklace she always wore. "The ring spinning was just the beginning, once I knew what to look for I saw other tells."

"Can I make a suggestion?" Dr. Worthington asked gaining both their attention. "How about the next time you catch each other using a tell, stop the conversation and simply ask what's wrong. And be candid, you may not agree with the thought process, but listen first and then talk it out."

"I can do that," Chloe answered, her eyes locked with Beca's.

"Yeah me to," Beca agreed with sincerity because that was something they should've done a long time ago. "But I'd like to add that I never really had a reason to question what was really going on in her head until we fought. So, overall I think Chloe's genuinely a very happy person. It's why I love being with her," they shared another small smile, "she just makes me like insanely happy and it's easy to be myself around her and I think I do the same for her too."

Dr. Worthington looked over at Chloe, "And before you came in we were discussing why I never prescribed her any medications and I think you perfectly answered that question."

Things went downhill so fast for Chloe after her family died that she never got the closure she needed to properly move on with her life. So the only way for her to not constantly replay her parents nagging voices was to block everything out and that meant using her words to sway people away from touchy subjects.

Unfortunately, Chloe had also used that tactic with Beca, the one person who matters the most in her life. And now she can see and hear just how much that hurt her girlfriend and she never wants to do it again. However, with Beca sitting here answering question after question while being completely honest and vulnerable, Chloe knows this is the beginning of her second chance. She can't ever slip back to her old self because if she does Beca will be gone forever.

"I never thought she was depressed," Beca quickly said mainly as reassurance for Chloe and no one else, "I knew things bothered her, I just also knew what subjects to stay away from so I wouldn't get my head bitten off."

Chloe laughed because yeah that was a completely accurate statement. However, now that she has a better grip with what's going on she hopes that will never happen again. As hard as it will be she's ready to start answering any question Beca may have about her and her family.

"And I'm really, truly sorry for all those times I completely evaded you when you just wanted to know more about me." Chloe placed a hand over her heart, "I wasn't fair to you Bec, I was…" she swallowed hard as she held back her tears, "I was a bitch and I pushed you away because I didn't want you to see how much pain I was in and I regret it all."

"Do you see why I was so confused?" Beca's eyes locked with Chloe's and she knew they were making huge progress, "I never should've said half the things I said to you. I just…" she let out a long breath as she ran a hand through her hair, "using your family was easy because it was so off limits." She fiddled with the cuff of her jacket, "And for that, you have no idea how sorry I am."

"Bec," Chloe softly used the small term of endearment that only she was allowed to use, "it's ok. There's a shit ton of things that I need to apologize for too and I don't even know where to begin. I see and fully understand my mistakes and I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you and I never meant for us to get to this point."

Beca's eyes were full of understanding and it put Chloe in this frame of mind that said they could fix this and get back on track. And it was the first time she'd felt that way all day.

Dr. Worthington cleared his throat, "So for the sake of trivializing the argument that brought you two here," he casually checked his watch, "I suggest we hold off on that until another session."

"It feels like we talked about so much, but really nothing at all," Beca said resting her head against the back of the couch.

"Me too, but genuinely that's how I feel every time I leave here," Chloe cracked the joke making Beca chuckle.

As Beca tiredly rubbed an eye, she had to admit she got way more out of this then she ever planned.

"So Beca," the girl's head snapped up and Dr. Worthington smiled, "what I like to do with the last ten or so minutes is to give a few things for you to think about for next time and have light chitchat," he shut his notebook and set it aside. "Any kind of therapy can be strenuous and I think it's always good to end on a positive note."

Although Chloe would be a crying and blubbering mess during a session the fact that Dr. Worthington brought things full circle and put a positive spin on it was yet another reason why she really liked this doctor. And even though it was hard to maintain that positive way of thinking once she left, it was getting easier and becoming more of a normal routine. She was effectively changing her way of thinking and as a consequence she was starting to feel much better about herself and her situation.

"But we didn't get a chance to talk about my trip home," Chloe stated.

"We will, but since Beca was here I decided to take things in a different direction," Dr. Worthington reassured. "So for your homework, I'd like for you to focus on the positive outcomes from that trip. Make a list and expand on each situation a little bit and remember just because something had negative emotion associated with it, doesn't mean that a positive didn't result."

Chloe lifted her purse to her lap and pulled out a small notepad to jot the assignment down, "Anything else?"

Dr. Worthington shook his head, "No, that should be plenty for you to do between now and when I see you Friday afternoon. I want you to take your time and get settled in up at the Lodge, so I'll give you a little more to do over the weekend."

"Sounds good," Chloe smiled recapping her pen and putting it and her notebook back in her purse. She was actually looking forward to the retreat and getting out to the lake where she could paint and work on herself and their relationship and just spend time together like they used to, "You sure it's ok that I bring Billie?"

"Of course, my wife brings Jack, our Boston Terrier, every time we spend a whole month there," he grinned, "he loves the lake." Turning to Beca he asked, "I hear you have a dog too?"

"Yeah, Gizmo," Beca replied, "he's a Labradoodle and he's obsessed with water."

"Gizmo that's it," Dr. Worthington snapped his fingers, "he'll get along swimmingly with Jack then."

"Ummm…" Everyone's attention shifted to Beca, "I'm not sure if I'm going."

Chloe's eyes were pleading with her and Beca diverted her attention to the zipper on her jacket. Ten minutes ago she was convinced that therapy and the retreat would be good for their relationship and now she was backpedaling. She's not really sure why either, maybe it's because she wants to have the final word or she wants to hang Chloe out to dry for all the shit she'd been put through for the past month. Regardless, it was unfair to Chloe and she's pretty sure a little bit of the trust they'd reestablished this afternoon had just crumbled away.

"The option is completely up to you," Dr. Worthington's hand shot up so fast that Chloe didn't get a chance to lash out, "but can I ask you one last question?"

"Yeah sure…"

"Remember nothing is one sided here, so each of you will answer," he glanced between the two and got nothing but silence in return, "I want you to think back over the entire course of your relationship and I want you to give me the first," he stressed the word and hold up a single finger, "time you weren't entirely honest with each other."

Beca crossed her arms in agitation and huffed, "Only one? I have multiple examples."

"Not multiple, just the first," picking up his notebook, Dr. Worthington opened it again. "And I want you to give me the reason why you told each other what you did."

Chloe knew exactly what her answer would be, so biting the bullet she decided to get it over with.

"For me it was day one when you asked about my thumb ring," Chloe nervously began twisting it. "I purposely told you I had no idea what it meant so that I could distract you from asking questions about my sister."

"Why'd you decide to do that?" Dr. Worthington knew that question held a significant amount of weight.

Chloe locked eyes with Beca, "Because I wanted to avoid the topic rather than lie to you."

"How did that impact your relationship with Beca going forward?"

There was no use hiding behind excuses anymore, Chloe needed to be honest, "I had to continue covering up about my family so that she wouldn't know anything was wrong."

"So you used your words," Beca's eyes shot to Dr. Worthington's, "to sway the conversation?"

"Yeah," Chloe pursed her lips thinking about the interaction, "I purposely did that…"

Sitting forward on the couch, Beca planted her elbows on her knees then rested her chin in the palms of her hands, she was hurt by that revelation. It was tough knowing that Chloe had to go through all that the whole time they were together.

"You really had me fooled," Beca said with downcast eyes, "it wasn't until we tried to sleep together that I realized something was off and even then…"

"Beca," Dr. Worthington smiled and held his hands out in a pump the breaks type motion, "we'll get to that later. Right now I'm proving a single point about your relationship so that you'll see why I think this retreat will be beneficial for you both to move forward."

"Sorry," Beca sat back up and chanced a glance at her girlfriend, "I'm sorry Chlo."

Chloe gave a half smile, "It's ok, I needed to be vulnerable with you that night. It was the first time someone told me they loved me and meant it. And you stuck by me without even really understanding why I was upset. You wouldn't let me push you away and I needed to see that."

Dr. Worthington allowed for the small digression because he was happy that they were beginning to connect the dots again. However it wasn't in their best interests to dissect all their past interactions today, they needed to take things one step at a time and work on establishing a new sense of trust.

Slightly turning he asked, "Now Beca when was the first time that you weren't entirely honest with Chloe?"

Thinking for a few seconds Beca drummed her fingers against her legs, "Day one for me too, I told you I was a studio musician when I wasn't."

Setting aside the whole pickup line game that they'd played in the bathroom when Beca tried to be smoother than she actually was, that really was the first instant she hadn't been completely honest. Using the whole 'studio musician' line was just easy because she had perfected the routine so well that typically people didn't ask many questions after that, including Chloe. It was something she always regretted especially the more involved they got, but it was also something she couldn't change so she just rolled with it for months.

"What exactly where you hiding," Dr. Worthington asked when it became obvious that Beca needed a little push.

"Basically that I was famous," Beca simply said, "and I hid it because that's what I always do and because Chloe worked at Rolling Stone. I didn't know if I could trust her."

"But I told you I was an inter…" Chloe's mouth snapped shut as she tried to remain cool.

"We aren't here to jump into another argument," Dr. Worthington said making it clear that both responses were needed to make a point, "for the time being just listen."

"Sorry," Chloe quietly apologized.

"Deep down I knew I could trust you," Beca replied, "and I still said it and I'm sorry."

Closing his notebook Dr. Worthington set it aside, "So we've established that both of you hid the most essential parts of who you are," the couple wore guilty expressions as they stared at each other, "so would you both admit that the foundation of your relationship was built on mistruths?"

"What like lies?" Beca asked.

"I hesitate to use that word," Dr. Worthington's hand shot up preventing a snarky reply simply because throwing around a term like that tended to bring out immediate aggressive responses from people and Beca's tensed shoulders and slightly elevated voice was a prime example. "Do you see that avoiding certain topics hurt your relationship more than it helped it?" He rephrased.

"I mean yeah, but telling Chloe I'm DJ Titanium would've changed her whole outlook on me," Beca defended, she didn't define herself by the DJ Titanium success, but unfortunately other people did, "I just wanted to be myself."

Dr. Worthington turned back to Chloe, "Would that really have mattered to you?"

"I don't think so, we talked a lot that night about totally random things before we even got to the topic of jobs. She was so cute and funny and so incredibly sweet, I guess you could say I was smitten with her. The way she looked at me made me feel good about myself," Chloe shyly smiled at Beca. "So she could've told me and," she crossed her legs, "I mean it would've been a shock, but it wouldn't have stopped me from pursuing anything with her."

"And you Beca," Dr. Worthington hoped everyone was seeing the big picture by now, "had Chloe told you her entire family died would that have stopped you from 'pursuing' her?"

All eyes were on Beca and it wasn't the best feeling in the world and it kind of made her squirm in her seat.

"Of course not, I would've just thought it was fate or some shit that brought us together. God I mean our first interaction," Beca let out a bark of laugher just remembering it and Chloe giggled too, "it was just so random. I mean I fucking hit on her in a bathroom and made a total jackass out of myself," by this time everyone was laughing as her face turned bright red, "but she didn't blow me off like other girls do, she kept talking to me. She playfully flirted all night and somehow she was always one step ahead of me. She was so smart and beautiful and that's what I found so interesting, that's what made me want to know more about her," she finished in one long breath then smiled.

"You really wouldn't have cared that my family died?" Chloe quietly asked.

"No," Beca sat forward a little, "I wouldn't. You know I only went in that bathroom so I could figure out an excuse to ditch Jesse. I had no idea walking in there I'd find the love of my life."

There was silence in the room and Chloe slowly wiped away a stray tear. She's pretty sure she's used the words 'love of my life' in reference to Beca at some point in their relationship, but she's never heard Beca return it. And honestly, hearing it come from Beca right now was everything that she has needed to hear.

"So after hearing that," Dr. Worthington's gentle voice startled the two, "is it fair to say that you both take responsibility for the state your relationship is currently in?"

The question was simple and to the point and fuck as much as she wants to put all the blame on Chloe, for everything, Beca just can't.

"Yes…" The both replied at the same time.

The relieved faces and body language told Dr. Worthington that both of them were finally on the same page.

"Now I don't think either of you intentionally said what you did that night to hurt each other. I think and this is my personal opinion, take it with a grain of salt," Dr. Worthington joked looking side to side as they all laughed, "I think the majority of your relationship has been built on a strong foundation."

"Then why do I feel like I can't trust her anymore," picking up her coffee cup again Beca traced her name scribbled on the side.

Dr. Worthington had been asked that question dozens of times, "Because what was withheld is such a deeply personal thing that when you did find out, regardless of how it was revealed to you, you felt betrayed."

"I felt hurt more than anything."

"And that's a form of betrayal, don't you think?"

Beca glanced at Chloe with sad eyes, "Yeah."

There was no tiptoeing around the subject right now, but Chloe did like Dr. Worthington's tactfulness. It was bringing emotions and responses out of Beca that she wasn't used to seeing unless they were completely alone.

"Here you have this beautiful relationship, you bonded and made both mental and physical connections, and then in a split second," Dr. Worthington snapped his fingers, "it's gone. So of course you feel betrayed and if we ask Chloe, she'll probably tell you she feels the same."

"I do, a hundred percent," Chloe tried to sound encouraging and hopeful as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "I betrayed you and myself by not talking to you, but I'm taking steps to fix it."

"The responsibility isn't all on you," Beca's expression softened as Chloe made eye contact with her again. "I betrayed us by getting so angry and walking away like a fucking idiot," Dr. Worthington sent her a stern glance, "sorry, didn't mean to curse like that." She let out a relieved breath when he smiled, "Anyways…" she rubbed her knees with the palm of her hands, "I focused so much on you that I never admitted that the whole reason we were fighting was because I wouldn't listen to you in the first place."

"So how can we fix this? Fix us," Chloe gestured between them hopefully.

They had this very conversation a few days ago and back then Beca thought things were beyond repair. They had fought and she had constantly thrown around words like exhausted and frustrated and mentioned how they couldn't do it anymore. Except now she has a clearer view of the issues they're facing and sees how alike they are in multiple aspects of their lives. Her mom always used to say that people sometimes have to fight for the ones they love and yeah their relationship is messy right now, but she's absolutely certain that she wouldn't go through this much red tape for anyone other than Chloe.

During the initial argument, Beca had told Chloe that she would do whatever it takes to fight for them and looking back over all their interactions for the past month she can't say she's actually done that. What she was doing was letting herself down, she was letting Chloe down and she was letting them as a couple down. Chloe's not some fling and Chloe's not someone who Beca wants to date and sleep with casually, no for the first time Beca has found someone she really cares about, loves and wants to marry and she's not ready to give up on that yet.

Slumping in her seat, Beca closed her eyes for a few seconds as she rested her head against the cushion, "I think we need more of this, like communicating instead of constantly fighting and we need to spend time together again."

"I think we need that too," Chloe said, "because I can't lose you Beca, I can't…"

"I can't lose you either Chlo," Beca opened her eyes and gave a wirily smile as she wiped away a tear, "I don't want the rest of my life to feel this empty because you're not in it."

"So will you come with me to the retreat," Chloe pleaded hopefully then bit her lip as Beca had this internal battle over saying yes. She wanted them to reconnect on so many levels and she knew this was the place to do it, "We don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"If I may interrupt," Dr. Worthington held up a hand, "the whole point of the facility is to experience new things both together," he clasped his hands in front of him, "and separately," then spread them apart. "So you'll need to learn to work together and compromise on all activities you choose. That's why I don't recommend you sit in your cabin all day and 'talk'," he used air quotes, "it out or lounge by the pool reading. The whole point of getting away and secluding yourself from your everyday life is to learn to reestablish trust and to find the love and intimacy you once had with each other again by working as a team. Which coincidentally is why there are no TV's."

"What?" Beca's head whipped to Dr. Worthington and her eyes narrowed, "What kind of fucked up place are you running," she exclaimed making Chloe laugh, "sorry but really no TV?" She stressed dramatically.

"Beca you don't watch that much anyway, I'm sure you can do without the Discovery and History channels for a few weeks," Chloe reprimanded with a hint of humor, "We can go to the movies if you're that desperate."

"You're right," Beca huffed in annoyance, "but he's basically telling me I can't read, I love to read, I read all the time it relaxes me." Chloe just about doubled over in laughter, "Quit laughing this is serious business, the next thing you're probably going to tell me is that there's no Wi-Fi. And I can't live without Wi-Fi, you might as well put me six feet under!"

"Did you even read the website?" Chloe asked between giggles.

"I did but I didn't exactly click on the accommodations and amenity pages," Beca deadpanned. "Besides you told me it was a spa and every spa I've been to is full service in every aspect, including," she picked up her hands and counted off, "TV's, Wi-Fi and a bar."

"Beca there's Wi-Fi but no bar. And don't worry I'll bring two cases of your favorite beer," Chloe said between chuckles.

After everything they'd been through today Chloe noticed how nice it felt to laugh at her extremely flustered and cute girlfriend, it felt like old times.

"Thank god!" Beca slumped in her chair then bolted upright, "Wait is beer allowed in the cabin thingy you rented?"

"Yes," Chloe grinned.

Clearing his throat Dr. Worthington hated to interrupt the comical display, "Beca this place is rather laidback, so there will be plenty of free time for you to do whatever you want. I don't run it like jail," he and Chloe grinned at each other when Beca grumbled about TV's again, "You can come and go as you please, we actually recommend leaving in the evenings for dinner or taking day hikes on the weekend."

"At least with Wi-Fi I can still watch Netflix," Beca added making Chloe good naturedly roll her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Dr. Worthington, she tends to get bent out of shape over the strangest things," Chloe joked, "she's lucky I find her cute."

"It's ok, I've seen worse," he teased and was shot a glare as Beca crossed her arms.

"So does all this complaining about inconsequential things mean you're coming?" Chloe asked as Beca's face turned from annoyance to worry, "What?"

"I'm sorry, I guess I didn't make that clear, yeah, I'll come," Beca's fingers dragged the zipper on her jacket up and down, "I want us to keep coming to see this guy," she hiked a thumb in his direction, "plus I don't think we should wait a month for another session."

This thankful and appreciative smile spread across Chloe's face and Beca knew she had made the right decision.

"Good then I will see you two on Friday," Dr. Worthington calmly said glad that Beca seemed to have made a decision she was confident with, "If you don't mind I'd like to meet with you both individually. Beca, you and I'll meet once a week while Chloe and I'll continue our usual sessions."

"That works for me," Chloe smiled.

"Does that work for you?" Dr. Worthington asked and Beca nodded, "Fantastic! Then as a couple, we'll all meet at the beginning and end of each week. It'll be similar to today except maybe I'll use some intimacy, trust and communication type activities to help us better understand each other," he explained mainly for Beca's benefit. "I know it sounds unconventional, it's just that I find people are more receptive when things are kept informal."

"No, no I like it," Beca added with a smile, "I won't say it's fun, but I feel a lot less pressured with you then with my current therapist."

"Great," Dr. Worthington stood with a smile, "then I'll see you ladies in a few days."

As Beca was shaking Dr. Worthington's hand she couldn't help but joke, "Don't I get any homework or was I just an exceptional student?"

"I thought I'd go easy because it's your first day, however since you're insisting," Dr. Worthington teased right back. Removing his hand from the door handle he pressed a finger to his lips in thought, "I would like you to invite Chloe somewhere, anywhere, and just talk."

Beca's eyebrow shot up, "Like a date?"

"No, labeling it that can put unwanted expectations and pressure on each of you," Dr. Worthington didn't want to outright say it, but he wanted them to start relearning each other and why they fell in love, "I just want you to talk…Talk about movies or books or the color shoes you're wearing, I don't care as long as it's something other than your past arguments. And remember to have fun and laugh."

Beca looked over at Chloe and winked as she slipped the shoulder strap of her bag over her head, "I think we can handle that, right?"

Chloe's stomach erupted in butterflies, the good kind, "I think so…"

Opening to door Dr. Worthington smiled, "I'll look forward to a full report on Friday. Until then," he stuck out his hand after the couple passed, "it was a pleasure to finally meet you Beca."

"Likewise…"

They didn't say anything after exiting the office and there was an awkward distance between them as Chloe approached the receptionist desk. After taking care of a few last minute details about their trip to the Lodge At Fallen Leaves she turned and a frown slipped on her face when she was met with an empty waiting room. Shoving her wallet back in her purse she made her way towards the exit.

As Chloe rounded a corner, she saw Beca leaning against a wall at the end of the corridor near the elevators texting on her phone. Chloe's heart beat a little faster knowing Beca had waited and because damn Beca looked good in those skinny jeans, a dark green t-shirt, and that old brown leather jacket. It was so simple and casual, and Chloe found it incredibly sexy, enticing even, and it made her painfully aware of her attraction to Beca and everything, and she means everything, she's been missing this month.

Tossing her empty coffee cup in a nearby trash can Chloe bit her lip and let out a sexually frustrated sigh. Hiking the purse strap higher on her shoulder, she continued down the long hallway towards Beca.

"Hey, you waited," Chloe smiled coming to a stop near her girlfriend.

Their eyes met and Beca returned the warm smile while pocketing her phone, "Yeah, um I had to pee and you were busy, so I…" she rocked back and forth on her heels, "I should've said something I'm sorry."

"It's ok," Chloe reassured, her fingers messing with the corner of her purse to keep from reaching out for Beca's hand, "I'm actually glad you waited."

"So umm, I was hoping we could like walk home together, but," Beca had no idea why she was so nervous, "you probably drove so yeah bad idea."

"I didn't," Chloe pressed the down arrow and surprisingly the elevator doors slid right open, "I'd actually like it if you walked me home."

"Yeah?" Beca bit her lip as she held her hand out so the elevator doors wouldn't close on Chloe as she stepped in.

"Yeah," Chloe saw an equally shy smile reflected in the shiny siding of the elevator as she pressed the button for the ground floor.

The whole ride was filled with silence and Beca didn't know where to begin to keep the discussion that they'd started in Dr. Worthington's office flowing. She didn't want them to fall back into old habits this soon so she had to come up with something otherwise they'd spend the entire walk home in silence.

Stepping out of the building they walked down the block a few minutes until they came to a crosswalk. Pulling out her sunglasses, Beca quickly cleaned them with the edge of her shirt. She didn't really need them, most of the downtown buildings were blocking the late afternoon sun, but it was an easy distraction.

"New glasses?" Chloe's voice broke the silence and Beca just held the dark purple Wayfarer's out so they could look at them.

"Yeah, umm I pass this place when I go to the gym and Monday I thought why not," Beca put them on then adjusted them until they comfortably sat in the right position, "The lady said the color was a limited edition or whatever."

"They're nice, they look good on you," Chloe said causing a blush to run up Beca's neck.

"So did you…"

"I was thinking…"

They both started at the same time making them stop and smile at each other and laugh a little at the total awkwardness of the situation.

Chloe eventually motioned to Beca, "You go."

Shoving her hands in her jacket pockets Beca looked up and down the street, "I…did you maybe want to come back to my place for dinner? I was gonna swing by Whole Foods for some steaks to grill," she nervously flapped her jacket open and closed, "or I can get fish? I can make whatever you want actually."

The gesture was really very sweet and the rambling was absolutely adorable, but unfortunately Chloe was going to have to turn it down. Neither of them were prepared to deal with what could potentially happen when they got in close proximity to one another now that things were beginning to get back on track. In all honesty, Chloe didn't trust herself around Beca because of their undeniable sexual chemistry. Something will happen and it'll probably start off innocent and non-flirtatious and then next thing she knows they will end up in bed together. And it's not that she doesn't want that, because she really, really does, she just doesn't want them to jump back into sex until they are in a better place. So however unsexy it may sound, they need establish some ground rules, especially since they are going to be living together for the next month.

"Bec," Chloe cautiously began, "I really need to get back to Billie."

"Then we can just watch the sunset and drink a couple glasses of wine, I got the best view money can buy," Beca was really making an effort and she didn't want to get upset, but it felt like Chloe was just making up excuses, "I just want us to go someplace where we won't be interrupted," she let out a frustrated sigh, "Plus you've never been to my place and I want to show it to you."

The possibility of their fans interrupting them hadn't even crossed Chloe's mind. Beca's clearly the celebrity and is the one who is supposed to garner the most attention, but Chloe can't hide the fact that she's gained a few thousand new followers on Instagram this past month after Beca released an official statement with her name and a picture of them together. Chloe hasn't been approached by anyone out in public yet, however it was only a matter of time and neither of them wanted today to be that day.

"No I get it," Chloe calmly said, "I just…" she bit her lip in worry, "How about grabbing some ice cream and taking the long way home?

"We can do that…" Beca pointed down the street with her hand in a jacket pocket to the cable car stop, "The Hyde Street line is right there, we can take it all the way to the end and I know it sounds cliché and it's way over priced but Ghirardelli's has ice cream."

"It's not cliché, I haven't been there yet," Chloe laughed at a flustered Beca Mitchell, god Beca was so cute and she was still totally in love. "Can we browse the chocolate shop? I'd like to get us some chocolate to make smores one night."

"Yeah sure, whatever you want," Beca scratched the back of her neck with relief, "We'll definitely need to take our ice cream to go though, because if we sit people will come up to us."

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear Chloe smiled, "We can walk through Fort Mason and down along the bay to Marina Green."

Beca grinned as they began walking, "Does that give you too much time away from Billie?"

"Nope," Chloe answered.

"Well ok then."

---

"So let me get this straight," Chloe laughed licking the last of her ice cream off her spoon, "you and Jesse willingly bet Fat Amy that you could out drink her?"

Finishing off her chocolate milkshake, Beca bit the end of straw and grimaced at the memory. It wasn't one she was particularly fond of and four years later she still can't believe she did it.

"Yeah," Beca dragged out, "and we weren't exactly successful…I had a hangover for two days and Jesse threw up so much that Aubrey had to take him to the hospital because he was dehydrated and needed an IV."

"And Fat Amy?"

"She drank more than us combined, I have no idea how she was able to function the next day."

"I see," Chloe fought back a smile at the painful expression on her girlfriend's face as they walked. "And what did she get for winning?"

"We had to throw her a luau themed birthday party," taking Chloe's empty container Beca tossed it in a nearby trashcan along with her cup. The party ended up being her worst nightmare because it caused the most damage, "All the usual suspects were there, but towards the end of the night it started raining so we moved the party inside. She then turned one of my trash can lids into a makeshift sled and made everyone slide down my staircase to christen my newly remodeled and professionally decorated multimillion dollar home."

Chloe just covered her mouth and laughed as they walked because it didn't take much imagination to picture their group of friends doing that. Hell, if she would've been there she would've done it to and probably multiple times, then encouraged the all others. Beca may sound annoyed talking about it, but Chloe saw the small smile twitching at the corner of her girlfriend's mouth.

"Oh my god, did anything break?" Chloe finally asked once she caught her breath.

"Stacie's hooker heels put two holes in the wall at the bottom of my staircase," Beca lifted her hands and made circles with her fingers to emphasize the size, "that's where I found her shoes the next morning. And Emily, let's just say we traumatized her for life, I think at one point she actually called her mom to come pick her up. And that party was tame compared to last year's Cinco de Mayo."

"Why does all this crazy stuff happen at your house," Chloe asked noting how she wished she was holding Beca's hand and swinging it back and forth like she normally would be doing.

"Because I have what they like to term the party house," Beca factually stated then burst out laughing along with Chloe. They came to a stop in front of a bench that overlooked the bay, "Do you have time to sit?"

The walk had been nice and they had done exactly what Dr. Worthington had asked, just talked and stayed away from touchy subjects. Things were a little quiet on the ride to Ghirardelli Square, but it's like something clicked when they entered the store. They chatted like old times and they laughed as they browsed the display cases and while they bought way more chocolate then two people could possibly eat. They even took pictures with a couple fans and Beca signed a handful of autographs as they waited for their ice cream. It was like they both decided to really make an effort with whatever time they had.

"I didn't even realize we'd walked this far," Chloe glanced down at her watch then around the sports field behind them. "Yeah, I've still got time."

"Awesome…"

Before sitting, Chloe turned to where her back was to the bay and gazed at the houses on the other side of the street, "Which one is yours?"

Standing on her tiptoes Beca pointed, "See the off white one with Mediterranean style features at the edge of the park?"

"With the multicolor clay tile roof?"

"Yep, that's home sweet home," Beca grinned proudly, "Aubrey and Jesse got tired of me and Gizmo cramping their newlywed style by chillin in their guest room, so I bought that," she gestured Vanna White style towards her house.

"How long have you lived there?" Chloe asked.

Chloe noted how she hadn't actually stepped foot inside it yet despite them being together for over nine months. She had never really pushed the subject because it wasn't that big of a deal to her. After the whole DJ Titanium thing had been revealed Beca had apologized later for not asking her over sooner and confessed that there were to many of both her and her mom's awards and other fame related things scattered around that it was just questions she wasn't ready to answer. Chloe wasn't upset because she understood and in any case she loved having Beca staying with her because Beca made her feel safe. Besides she knew once she had a key and was able to come and go as she pleased that it would only a matter of time before she would practically be living with Beca anyway. After all it's what happened when she gave Beca a key.

"A little over four years," Beca smiled, "I still have all the stuff for that art room I promised you a couple months ago. It's just waiting to be set up how you want it."

"I can't wait, did you clear out a whole closest for me like you promised?" Chloe asked making them both laugh.

"Well half of the master bedroom closet is now set aside for you if you still want it," Beca freely admitted with a grin, "I cleared it out along with some space in the bathroom before we left for Malibu and I've just kept it that way hoping you can fill it up soon." She turned slightly and their eyes locked, "Anyways that's me."

"Yeah," Chloe whispered tearing her eyes away from Beca's.

Without saying another word they quickly took a seat and Beca stretched out her legs as they stared out at the bay and the slowly setting sun.

"I think today really helped us," Chloe said after a few minutes with her eyes focused on Alcatraz, "I'm glad you came and I'm glad we spent one-on-one time together this afternoon."

Beca shoved her hands in her jacket pockets again, "Me too, I think it opened our lines of communication again. I mean, so far we've gone close to what three hours without arguing?"

"Considering how bad the last month has been," Chloe fully agreed, "that's a record for us."

Beca chuckled, "For real…" She hesitated for a few seconds then looked over at her girlfriend, "I've missed you Chlo, like really missed you, like to the point where my heart hurts because you're not around."

There was so much emotion and passion behind that one statement that Chloe knew exactly how much pain Beca had been in. And it was stupid the way they'd acted, childish really.

"I've missed you too. I hate waking up every day knowing you're not there, I miss everything about you and like you, my heart," Chloe placed and hand over her chest, "it hasn't been whole since the day I left," she gave a half smile which was easily returned, "and I know I've got a shitty way of showing it."

"It's ok…"

"No it's not Bec…"

Pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head Beca rubbed her eyes, "I understand better why you left and why you pushed me away and I forgive you. I just hope you forgive me for all the fucked up things I said to you because I'm just as much to blame," a tear slid down Chloe's cheek as her girlfriend hesitantly nodded. Letting out a slow ragged breath she tried to keep it together, "But it's going to take time for us to get over it and gain that trust back. So why don't we agree to quit apologizing for all our stupid mistakes and concentrate on moving forward and rebuilding an us again…Jesus," she raked her hands through her hair laughing at herself, "I sound so much like Jesse right now."

"Bec," Chloe cleared her throat, "there's really nothing I want more. I just want an us again and I'll do whatever it takes."

"Me too…"

Beca isn't asking them to forget their past, but they need to move past it if they want to grow and not hang on to massive amounts of resentment. She knows she'll have to work hard not to fall back into old habits and she just hopes Chloe does the same.

"I umm…" Beca cautiously began, "I understand if you need to get back to Billie, but I'm gonna sit here for a little while longer."

Following Beca's gaze Chloe's eyes landed on the Golden Gate Bridge. It was nice out, the scenery and the company were both beautiful and she really didn't feel like leaving yet.

Tearing her eyes away from the bay, Chloe smiled when they connected with Beca's, "I can stay a few more minutes."

As Chloe rolled down the sleeves of her light sweater Beca's eyes followed every movement, "Do you need my jacket?"

"I'm good, thanks though…"

They were quiet for a few minutes as they watched the sun slowly set over the bay and Beca couldn't believe how comfortable and right everything felt. It was almost like old times except she was missing the way Chloe would normally be playing with her fingers and how she would randomly kiss Chloe's shoulder during quiet moments like this. Beca was craving Chloe's touch, she had been all month, yet she didn't move her elbows from where she placed them on back of the bench five minutes ago.

Turning slightly Beca broke the silence, "Can I ask you something? And like you totally don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable or whatever…"

Chloe thought for a few seconds knowing that avoiding anything at this point could possibly be detrimental to them, "Sure, ask away."

Beca shifted uncomfortably, "Why were you hesitant when I asked you to come over for dinner? You know we could've stopped and picked up Billie."

Damn it, Chloe was internally freaking out because she was hoping this wouldn't come up today. She kind of wanted a little more time to think about the type of ground rules they needed to set.

Slumping a little against the back of the bench Chloe sighed, "Because I was worried I might do something we'd both regret later."

"Like?" Beca dragged out unsure.

"Like kissing and sex," Chloe felt the blush run up her cheeks and she looked away. They'd always been very open with each other regarding that aspect of their relationship, now though it just felt weird. "And as bad as I want that, because shit it's been over a month," she buried her face in her hands, "it would just complicate things between us even more right now."

"Wow, ok…" Beca just let out a slow breath, because even she can't deny the fact that she has missed it too, "Chlo, I didn't invite you over expecting that."

"No, I know," Chloe tried to hide her nervousness, but Beca's blatant unawareness was charming and sexy and it just fully proved her point. "I'm just saying that at some point tonight I would've kissed you and this time there'd be no one like Jennifer to stop me from progressing it further."

"Wait…" air caught in the back of Beca's throat and she covered it up with an embarrassed cough, "I kissed you, that was my fault."

"No, I'm pretty sure I initiated it," Chloe stated matter-of-factly.

"But I leaned in first," Beca countered.

"And I connected our lips," Chloe hesitantly laughed as she and ran a hand through her hair.

"No, I thought I did," Beca crossed her arms across her chest and sat back, "Huh…"

They cast sideways glances at each other until they both burst out laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation. Here they both were worrying this whole time about how the other one felt about the kiss when really they were worrying about being the one who started it.

"So you thought you did," Beca pointed to Chloe as she continued to laugh, "and I thought I did," she pointed to herself, "so like is that why we failed to acknowledge it?"

"I think so," Chloe's laughs increased and it caught the attention of a few people walking by and it made her quickly settle down, "but I don't regret it."

Beca toed a rock with her shoe then kicked it across the path, "Me either, it was nice and I wanted more," their eyes connected and she winked, "I liked how we felt like us again."

"Like we didn't have any problems?"

"Yeah…"

"You were my knight in shining armor that afternoon," Chloe may not have shown it but she was so grateful Beca was there, "You swooped in and deflected the attention to yourself when Jennifer," Beca scoffed at the name making her smile, "berated me to my face."

Beca had easily seen through Jennifer's façade and the only reason that yuppie came over to their table was to play on Chloe's insecurities in order to gather gossip that could be spread later down at the country club.

"We were in a really bad place that day, but I will never let anybody talk to you that way," Beca was almost seething just thinking about that bitch, "I don't care how mad I was, her comments made me livid and she needed to be put," she smashed a finger against the seat of the bench between them, "in her place."

"And you have no idea how amazing that made me feel," Chloe's hand inched towards Beca's but she quickly pulled them back, "The way you looked at me and the incredibly sweet things you said, I don't know it just made me want to kiss you, so I did."

"And I thought the same things when you told her I was your everything," Beca really shouldn't have just ignored the kiss, "I'm sorry I should've said something."

"And I'm sorry for running off," Chloe said, "The reason I left was because I wanted to kiss you again. Actually I wanted to do more than just kiss you and that's why I didn't trust myself."

Resting an arm on the back of the bench Beca tapped her fingers, "I probably wouldn't have pushed you away."

Crossing her legs, Chloe smiled, "But the consequences of whatever would've happened might have outweighed any progress we could've made today."

Beca never thought of it that way because when she thinks about everything that did and didn't happen in Roswell, the potential of sleeping with Chloe never really crossed her mind. Although she will freely admit that she probably wouldn't have had the will power to turn Chloe down had the opportunity presented itself.

"You're right," Beca sought out Chloe's eyes that were shining with understanding, "I think we would've fallen right back into old habits and swept all of our problems under the rug."

"Yeah and we would've eventually argued again and that would've been the end of us," Chloe knew that sounded awful but it was the truth. "Now we have a chance to fix it…" she fought back the tears as she spoke, "because the thing I want more than anything in this entire world is to be with you Bec."

"I want that too…" Beca fiercely wiped her nose with the back of her hand as she laughed behind a wet sob, "Damn Beale you got me crying again and I'm supposed to be a badass."

Instead of reaching out to comfort Beca, Chloe rested her hands in her lap and messed with her thumb ring, "If it's any consolation I still think you're hot."

Using her hands, Beca dried the tears under her eyes as she laughed, "Yeah a hot mess…"

Trying to lighten the mood Chloe nonchalantly asked, "How amazing do you think the angry sex would've been if we'd slept together in Georgia?"

The question was so totally random and not what Beca expected right now and it made her double over in laughter. Chloe had this outrageous and sometimes quirky sense of humor and a majority of the time it was Beca's undoing, just like right now. This must have been what Dr. Worthington meant about just laughing and having fun together while not thinking about their problems.

"Seriously Bec think about it," Chloe slapped her girlfriend's arm and it was playfully rubbed in mock pain, "angry hate filled sex can be kind of magical."

"So you're saying what we did on a regular basis wasn't," Beca spouted off just so it would elicit that shy sneaky grin she always loves seeing on Chloe, "yeah that's what I thought."

"Maybe magical isn't the right word," Chloe pondered then poked Beca again, "how about intense?" Beca just smirked, in this way that sent shivers down Chloe's spin, "Hear me out!"

"I always thought our morning sex was the best."

"But it was always sloppy and slow."

"Which is why it was heads and tails better than anything," Beca wiggled her eyebrows enticingly, "and you never complained, in fact it was always you who wanted it before our runs!"

Ok, Beca definitely had Chloe on that one, "Wipe that smug smile off your face Mitchell, I know you're good, you're the best I ever had." She crossed her arms and sighed after being caught in Beca's trap, "And for the record every time with you was the best."

"You know for someone who claims to be able to go years without sex," grinning widely Beca leaned a little closer making Chloe flinch back, "you sure think a lot about the stuff we did together."

Chloe just good naturedly rolled her eyes, "Oh quit you're gloating. I'm gonna admit it's…" yep there was Beca's arrogant pride shining through as that damn sexy smirk grew, "it's so hard to not think about it after you spent a good three and a half months having the best sex of your life."

Chloe can freely admit that she wouldn't mind heading back to Beca's and falling into bed together for the night, no questions asked. It would be a nice reprieve to how fucked up life has been lately and she could really use the stress relief, they both could.

"So tell me Beale, on a scale from one to ten how much have you missed our sex life?" Beca played it off as a joke but was genuinely curious.

"Damn," Chloe breathed out. Resting her elbows on the back of the bench she stared out over the bay. "Does the scale go to eleven?" She casually asked focusing her eyes on Alcatraz, "Or maybe even a twelve?"

Grinning, Beca unzipped her jacket, because yeah hearing that made her a little hot and bothered, "I was going to say thirteen."

"You are something else Beca Mitchell," Chloe laughed and noted how nice it felt just to laugh about mundane things with her girlfriend, "I miss it."

"Me too…" Beca longingly said mimicking Chloe's relaxed position on the bench, "Don't get me wrong I love that aspect of our relationship, like it's the best thing ever," her fingers rapidly tapped out a pattern along the back of the bench. "But the thing I really miss the most, sex aside, is being near you. Like just knowing you're there floating around my house or lying in bed next to me reading. I just…I don't know," she shrugs.

Turning her head Chloe simply smiled, "I get it and I miss that too, but we'll get back there hopefully."

"Yeah…"

There was a little bit of shuffling around to get comfortable and Chloe swears the lower the sun dips behind the Golden Gate Bridge the closer they get to each other. She's longing for some type of physical touch from Beca, like an arm to protectively pulling her in close to keep warm or just simply holding hands. But right now there's about a six inch gap between them and to Chloe it feels like a mile. Even with how great this whole ice cream filled non-date date has been there's nothing she can do to fix that mental and physical gap between them.

Glancing down at her watch Chloe knows she needs to go, "I hate to do this but…"

"No I understand, you have a fifteen minute walk and it's getting dark," Beca said stretching out her back, "I should get back to Giz anyway."

"I had a nice time," Chloe sincerely said.

"Me too," Beca knew this afternoon was a good start at mending fences and broken hearts. "I know you want us to follow each other to the retreat, but I need to hit the studio before I leave Friday. I made some last minute tweaks to the Skyfall song and I want to run through them before I go." She scratched the back of her neck, "Plus, I'm already past the deadline and Gail's on my ass to send everything off to Adele's people."

Chloe had totally forgotten about that song, "No problem, do you still want me to wait?"

"If you don't mind?" Beca asked guiltily, "I swear," Chloe just giggled and it put her at ease, "I'll be ready to roll between ten and eleven."

"Works for me," Chloe was kind of hoping they'd arrive before check-in, but she's not going to push it, Beca had agreed to go and that's what's important, "Can I hear it?"

"Oh yeah sure, you can come down before we leave if you want," Beca was grasping at straws because she didn't exactly know how Chloe was going to react to the new version of the song being so dark and powerful. "It's…different, I reread the script and ditched my original draft."

"I can't wait," Chloe smiled, picking up her purse she shouldered it. When a hand reached out and touched her arm she looked down, "Yeah?"

Quickly pulling her hand back, Beca let out a puff of air, "So like I know this is totally random, but can I ask you something serious?" Chloe's face paled and she quickly followed it up with, "Sorry no, nothing bad, just an opportunity that has presented itself and I'm not entirely sure what I should do about it. And well," she shrugged, "you get me, and I want my girlfriend's opinion."

The smile Chloe was wearing seconds before slipped back on at Beca's rushed apology and rambling. Beca seemed torn and like she wanted an opinion that wasn't Aubrey's or Jesse's. Chloe is being asked because there's a decision that needs to be made and it may have the potential to affect them. Whatever it may be, it's kind of nice to be included after everything that has happened.

Slipping her purse off her shoulder, Chloe sat back down, "What's up?"

"Do you think I'd make a good teacher?" Beca knew that question was kind of open ended and not expected because of the way Chloe just comically blinked at her, "Like a college level music teacher, well the letter said I'd be considered an academic music instructor. I'm still not sure what that even means."

"What like a professor?"

"Yeah, I guess, but without the whole PhD bullshit cause I'm not putting my perfectionist self though school again," Beca ended with a nervous laugh as Chloe continued to not say anything, "Like they can't call me Dr. Mitchell or whatever."

Chloe was at a loss for words, not because Beca would be a bad teacher, but because Beca would be an amazing teacher. Beca just has this quiet, thoughtful, and highly intellectual personality when it comes to music that make people just want to listen when she speaks. And teaching was something Chloe always thought her girlfriend would flourish at.

"Who asked you? USC?" Chloe finally spoke and it was like Beca breathed a heavy sigh of relief hearing her voice.

The only thing Chloe is worried about is where exactly this teaching gig is because as selfish as it sounds she doesn't want to be away from Beca while they are actively working on their relationship. Hell, she can't help but use what happened when they were in the same city and barely talked as a prime example. So Beca leaving for a semester or more and being busy for long stretches of time just spells disaster for them.

"Umm actually the San Francisco Conservatory of Music," Beca answered toying with the sleeve of her jacket. "It's kind of intimidating, that's a top rated music school. I mean fuck the only schools higher are USC and Julliard, why do they want me?"

"Bec, that's such an honor to even be asked," Chloe hid the fact that she was glad this potential opportunity would keep them in the same city behind her enthusiasm, "Wow, that's just wow…And they want you to be a teacher?"

"I know kinda ironic right," Beca snickered, "I mean you've seen how I work." Opening the flap of her messenger bag she pulled out her notebook with a black fine tip sharpie marking her current page, "My lyrics are scattered and my music is written in this weird pattern that only I can decipher." She flipped through the pages and pointed out groupings of letters with dots under line after line of words. "How am I supposed to teach that," she handed the open book to Chloe, "when my methods aren't something that get taught in school?"

"Maybe that's why they want you," Chloe responded flipping through the pages, "You're style is different and unusual and even unconventional, but you can write full scores with multiple complicated parts, I've seen it…" She had watched Beca do exactly that on her laptop, while some mornings she'd wake up to find the beach house's kitchen table littered with hand written music scores, "Bec it's inspiring to watch you work and that's why they probably want you."

"I don't know," Beca groaned resting her head against the back of the bench.

"Come on, what is there not to know," Chloe encouraged poking and arm. The indecisiveness meant her girlfriend hadn't totally shut down the idea, "How'd they choose you?"

Dr. Murdock or Rob, as he liked to be called, was someone Beca had looked up to a USC. He had been the one to write that paper on her, but most importantly he had been her primary piano teacher since she was about nine and besides her mom, one of her biggest and most influential mentors. Unfortunately, they lost touch after she graduated and it had been years since they had spoken so she had no idea he was even in town.

"One of my old teachers at USC works there now," Beca answered rolling her head back and forth, "He found me after…well you know."

"The Rolling Stone fiasco," Chloe casually mentioned because it totally was a disaster.

Beca nodded, "Yeah, he said he was surprised to see my name linked with DJ Titanium, he thought I was still in LA working behind the scenes at some studio."

"He must think really highly of you?" Chloe asked.

"Yeah," lifting her head Beca squinted in the setting sun, "he actually wanted me to stay at USC and get my masters degree and obviously I didn't," they both laughed. "Anyways he was always very involved with my music and he wants to be again, so he took all my so called credentials to the school's dean and asked if I could be a guest lecturer." Chloe was practically bouncing in her seat and it made her grin, she loved how happiness radiated off of her girlfriend putting everyone in a positive mood, "We had lunch a couple weeks ago and he dropped off all the formal paperwork and shit earlier this week…"

"No way!"

"Yes way," Beca replied with just as much passion, "I thought we were meeting just to catch up, apparently he had ulterior motives and I hate to brag but…" she bit her lip suppressing her grin, "but they kinda rolled out the red carpet for me and it was fucking insane. Dr. Murdock and the dean of the school personally gave me a tour of campus, introduced me around to some of the staff and showed me my potential office and classrooms."

"Well," with the biggest grin on her face, Chloe rolled her hands in a way that asked for more information.

"Well what?" Beca laughed.

Chloe just dramatically rolled her eyes, "Oh my god you're so dense sometimes," she laughed, "what do they want you to teach?"

"Dr. Murdock suggested because of my history…"

"What like Grammy's and the beautiful music you create?" Chloe interrupted, she was totally fan girling over Beca right now.

"Yep basically, along with some stuff I concentrated heavily on in school," Beca ran her hands along her face tiredly, "They want me to teach a contemporary songwriting and arrangement course, as well as one on jazz history with arrangement for small ensembles."

Chloe bounced around in her seat lightly clapping making a blush ran up Beca's cheeks.

"Oh my god Bec! That's like," Chloe latched onto Beca's arm with both hands and squeezed tight with excitement, "those are the things you're most passionate about," she gushed making Beca grin. "Please tell me you aren't turning this down?"

Beca awkwardly shifted away when Chloe removed her hands. Leaning forward she rested her elbows on her knees and let her chin lay in a hand, "I just don't know."

"The jazz thing is totally you, I mean I thought I knew music until I met you," Chloe stated matter-of-factly in her proud girlfriend tone. "You've taught me so much just by listening to you play and talk. You'll have no problem there…But the songwriting course sounds pretty interesting."

Beca let out a long slow breath, "I just don't think people will get much out of what I have to say, I'm not good with words."

Deciding to point out the obvious Chloe point blank said, "Millions of fans would say otherwise. Words are your thing whether you want to admit it or not."

"No they're not," Beca glanced over and Chloe was looking at her with this I-call-bullshit type of expression and she knew she couldn't talk her way out of this one, "Ok yeah you're right."

"So what's the problem?"

"Songwriting is such a personal thing for me," Beca slouched against the bench stretching her legs out, "like only a handful of the songs I write ever make it out of that," she gestured with her chin to her notebook sitting between them, "everything else is so deeply rooted with emotion that I don't want anyone to see it." Picking the book up she skimmed through the pages like a fan, "Some make me laugh, some make me cry while other lay somewhere in between." Snapping the book shut, she set it down but kept a hand on the top, "How am I supposed to teach that? How am I supposed to grade a student on their songwriting ability when I don't know what they're going through?"

Chloe saw the point, but Beca didn't see the big picture, "I don't think you're supposed to grade them on emotions, I think you have to grade them on structure and how well they get their point across."

"Like telling a story?" Beca asked crossing her arms.

"Exactly, that's the whole point of songs," at least that's why Chloe loved music so much, "and you, Beca Mitchell, write songs that define a generation, that define yourself and help others define themselves. What you do is beautiful and I think that's why they want you."

Chloe made teaching a songwriting class sound like it wasn't something the average person could do and maybe she was right. Beca knew she had a gift, she just didn't know how to take that gift and express it in a way others will learn to do the same. With every piece of music she writes she knows what she's trying to convey and she's not exactly sure how easily others will understand her thought process because at times it's scattered and random but somehow always comes together at the end.

"I never thought of it like that…" shifting her eyes back to the bay Beca folded her arms over her chest, "But how do I transfer everything you just said into a whole semester worth of material."

"Maybe a songwriting course doesn't have to strictly be about writing the perfect song, that'd be repetitive and boring. And you can't handle an entire semester of boring," Chloe crossed her legs turning towards Beca slightly, "What I mean to say is that songwriting, it'll be the main concept of the course," Beca looked over at her, "and yeah, they'll have to write songs, but you can…"

"Start simple?" Beca tossed out randomly making Chloe smile, "I can use poetry as an example I guess," she frowned not even really liking how that idea sounded, "see this is why I won't make a good teacher."

"Ok so I'm totally just gonna throw this out there," Chloe was literally bouncing with excitement again and Beca loved it, "Why don't you pick someone like Bob Dylan and solely study their songwriting style for the semester. You can like really dissect and pick apart," she tapped her temple making Beca laugh, "their songs and then compare and contrast their style to yours."

Beca just sat there in silence because she never thought about doing something like that and all her worrying and indecisiveness for the past two weeks had been in vain. Chloe's idea was perfect and totally made her rethink this whole teaching gig.

Beca gave a low whistle, "Damn Beale you're good." She got that megawatt smile that constantly melts her insides into a warm gooey mess, "Because the last thing I want to be seen as is a boring and snooze worthy teacher."

"No you'll definitely be the hip, cool one, well not cool cool, I mean you're still kinda totally a nerd," Chloe got a light elbow to her ribs and narrowing of eyes making her laugh, "so you'll only be slightly cooler than you are right now."

"Thanks…" Beca deadpanned.

Chloe leaned a little closer wiggling her eyebrows, "But you'll also be the sexiest professor I've ever seen. Can't wait to get some private tutoring in your office."

"You and your dirty fantasies Beale, I swear," Beca laughed. When Chloe's hand found its way to rest on top of hers, she swears her heart rate picked up tenfold. "You do realize that I have no fucking clue how to structure a class."

"That's not a problem," Chloe casually said waving a hand, "I'll help you, I was a co-captain of the Barden Bellas and a camp counselor so you could say structuring group activities is kinda my thing."

"Well ok then…"

"So are you taking it?" Chloe excitedly asked.

Dr. Murdock and Chloe both had confidence in her, but Beca was still leery about the whole thing.

Beca wrapped her fingers around the edge of the bench seat and shrugged, "I really don't know…" She kicked another rock with the toe of her shoe, "My shrink and Gail both say that it'll give me a new purpose and identity outside of the whole fame thing."

"Yeah, but do you think it'll be therapeutic to express yourself like that?" Chloe hesitantly asked.

"The bad thing is, I think it will…"

"You never know what kind of self-worth you could gain from exploring an opportunity like this."

Sometimes Beca refuses to accept that she's good at what she does and Chloe understands that more after today's meeting with Dr. Worthington. So maybe teaching and opening up about songwriting will break Beca's perfectionist habits and self doubts about not being good enough. And it may also be the thing that fills another part of that void that has been left empty since Beca's mom died.

"I know and you're right, but…" Beca honestly didn't want to admit what her real hold up was.

"But what?" Chloe lightly placed her hand on top of Beca's again, "Please Bec you can tell me…"

Closing her eyes Beca softly said, "What if this is the direction in life I was always meant to go? What if I love it and don't want to go back to producing music?"

"But if you don't take it you'll never know the answers to those questions," Chloe knew better than anyone what it meant to not take the chance and regret it for the rest of her life. Gently rubbing her thumb over the top of Beca's hand she said, "If you don't like it, it's only one semester."

"Yeah," Beca opened her eyes and looked down at Chloe's hand. It would be so easy to flip hers and interlock their fingers, "And it also kind of fucks up my year off."

"It's just a semester for now…" Chloe smiled moving her hand back to her lap, "You and I both know you'll get bored just sitting around at home and reading. Teaching might be a different form of relaxation, you can focus on your class and your music while helping young musicians reach their full potential. And it's not like you'll be tied down the entire week, you'll still have time do whatever you want," Beca's eyes landed on hers and it was like she was finally understood. "Plus you said you probably wouldn't go back to producing full time after this year was up. So between producing and teaching I think it might give you the normalcy you desire."

Beca has won all these awards and she loves music more than anything, but she hasn't really found much peace and balance with her job. Don't get her wrong producing and writing music is what she loves and she won't be able to ever really quit. She's never really had normal job so Chloe's right, this could be just the thing to give her an identity outside the whole celebrity status.

Draping an arm across the back of the bench Beca said, "You know, Dr. Murdock and the dean expressed an interest in me doing more than just one semester."

"But right now it's just a semester right?" Beca nodded and Chloe said, "So just worry about that right now, you don't have to make a long term decision right now."

"Well," Beca let out a puff of air as she picked up her song notebook and shoved it back in her messenger bag, "I have a lot to think about."

They both stood and Chloe shouldered her purse, "When do they have to know?"

"Ummm Friday so yeah," Beca slipped the strap of her bag over her head and adjusted it across her chest, "nothing like short notice right?"

They started across the small park and towards the crosswalk where they would eventually part ways for the night.

"Promise me you'll really think about it Bec," Chloe said shoving her hands in her pockets as they came to a stop at the crosswalk, "You don't have much time to decide, but it's important."

"I know, Gail said the same thing," for once Beca's manager is fully supporting this potential career move, "But your opinion means the most to me, you're the only other one who knows right now."

"Thank you," Chloe stepped out into the street after looking both ways and they quickly crossed. Stopping at the corner of Scott St and Marina Ave she turned to Beca and smiled, "Well this is me…"

"Yeah unfortunately…"

"Again thanks for coming," Chloe tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "and for this afternoon. It was nice to just chat with no pressure."

Looking up and down the street gave Beca this incredibly sad feeling because Chloe should be going home with her and sleeping in her bed.

"Yeah it was," they were quiet for a few seconds and Beca felt the weird shift between them again. The awkwardness was back and it was like they were no longer in this little bubble watching the sunset behind the Golden Gate Bridge, reality had set back in, "I'm glad I came and I can't wait to do it again."

"Me too," Chloe tried to put on a happy face, but it turned out to be more somber than anything as she pulled Beca in for a quick hug then stepped back.

Beca tilted back and forth on her feet not wanting to be the first to make the move to leave, but also because they were still standing so close that that it would be easy to tilt forward and kiss Chloe and she wanted to do that so bad.

"Text me when get home?" Beca took a step backwards without giving a kiss although she saw Chloe's eyes shift to her lips.

"You got it," lifting a hand Chloe gave a tiny wave, "goodnight Bec."

Beca mimicked Chloe's gesture as they slowly started moving away, "Night Chlo."

And a few seconds later Chloe had flipped around and turned up the street and was gone from Beca's sight. What happened today was some much needed progress and it felt nice to just be around Chloe again, it almost felt normal, and it made her smile. But as Beca turned and started walking back towards her house her heart and smile sank, they'd left without saying I love you to each other again…

---

Thanks for reading!

Liked it, loved it or hated it? I want to know your thoughts, so drop me a review or shoot me a PM and let me know what you think.

Hopefully this clears up a lot of Chloe's backstory and explains a little bit more about why she acts the way she does. And it also give you a little bit more insight to the working mind of Beca Mitchell.

See I told you not to give up on Bechloe and to have a little faith. They haven't given up on each other and our lovebirds are making progress right? Trust me, it pains me just as much to write them fighting as it does for you to read it...Let's just say we'll have a few weeks time jump for the next chapter and see even more progress!

Until next time...