Happy holidays Pitches! I hope everyone who celebrates had a great Thanksgiving! I'm back with another chapter and by my recent track record with updating this is way quicker than the last few chapters :) So I'll spare my usual long authors note and let you guys get one with reading!
Another huge shout out to sugarlandaddict23 for cranking out another chapter for me and super quick too! She rocks!
Disclaimer: PP still isn't mine, but PP3 is about to make an appearance and surprise surprise, I don't own that one either, but I take full responsibility for any and all mistakes!
3 Weeks Later
Kicking her shoes off Beca sat down on the edge of the dock and dunked her feet in the surprisingly cool lake water. She had just finished another morning session with Dr. Worthington and it hadn't gone great, but it hadn't been horrible either. She hadn't cried or gotten pissed, instead the whole session left her feeling blah and not even sure what the hell they'd talked about. The tactics Dr. Worthington uses to get her talking are not invasive and she likes that, but today he'd danced around the subject of her birthday and she in turn just shut him down.
Beca was never really big on birthdays to begin with, mainly because she hated the attention, but her mom always made them special. There was always a cake with some crazy design done by her totally unartistic mom, brightly colored streamers and a homemade banner stating it was 'Beca Mitchell's Birthday' hanging in the kitchen, and she always had a few presents along with her favorite dinner. It was tastefully tacky and fun and when she turned eighteen they added jazz clubs to the mix. Her mom never overdid it and it was always just the two of them, and that's what she missed the most.
Now though, since the day her mom died, Beca hasn't properly celebrated her birthday in years. Jesse and Aubrey tried to do something nice the first year, but it failed when she just got angry and left. Then a couple years later, Stacie and Jessica tried to throw a mini-surprise party one night at the deli and it just backfired when she broke down as they sang Happy Birthday. She felt awful about that one because Stacie and Jessica had no idea something as simple as a birthday was such a sensitive subject. So needless to say trying to talk about it today, with a week away, she just wasn't feeling it.
Beca reclined back until her shoulders came in contact with the boat dock deck and she just stared up at the bright blue sky. She had to admit this place really was beautiful, the weather was perfect, the lake was huge and the water was this incredible blue green color that made it so enticing to swim in. Then there was their cabin, surrounded by pine trees overlooking the lake and separated about as far away as possible from the main lodge that at night it makes them feel totally secluded from the outside world. She thinks they got this one as opposed to the other ten available because she is a celebrity and it offered them the most privacy away from prying eyes during their downtime. And she won't even complain about that because it has been exactly what they needed.
Jesse had been right, this couples retreat hasn't been that bad and they have made some great progress. They had their rough patches in the beginning, multiple slamming door fights after tough couple's therapy sessions, a few nights where neither said a single word to the other over dinner and they both were exceptional at storming off and sulking only to cave to a few hours later and apologize then talk it out. The most important thing was that neither of them has given up yet, they are both fighting for each other and they both know it. And now three full weeks into the retreat and everything is paying off and it's paying off in the biggest way, they are happy and they are happy together. They haven't done anything other than simple bickering since last weekend and they have made major progress in the communication department.
Kicking her feet in the water, Beca closed her eyes and sighed, it has been nice, they are rebuilding their trust and they finally feel like a normal couple again. There are certain things that are still missing that she's craving, like most importantly, the I love you's. At times she catches Chloe watching her and Jesus Christ it kind of melts her soul because Chloe's face is always soft and the smile is genuine and beautiful and when their eyes meet, Beca feels their intense connection and the love. It sends her heart into overdrive and she knows Chloe feels it too, but they never say anything, they just back down.
The other big thing missing is the physical intimacy, because they've gotten the mental connection down. And it's like a giant pink elephant in the room too and that elephant is so big that even Dr. Worthington has even not so subtlety pointed it out. They were great the first couple weeks, a few lingering kisses here and there, the handholding was being initiated by both of them and they were just comfortable around each other again. They were so comfortable that they even came extremely close, like two minutes close, to having sex until she went and royally fucked it up. After that things went downhill pretty quickly, they barely sit next to each other, they are still sleeping in totally different rooms every night, there is next to no handholding, and those amazing lingering kisses ago are pretty much nonexistent.
And they've been practically reprimanded by Dr. Worthington for all those things and for their lack of a sex life, especially after he found out about the 'ground rules' they had set. Beca whole heartedly agrees with Chloe and how sex could complicate things, but she also agrees with Dr. Worthington's side too which she is pretty sure kind of pissed Chloe off. He made it very clear that they were supposed to let things naturally progress and that setting rules could potentially put a strain on the intimacy aspect of their relationship and quite frankly it has. Beca thinks that part of the reason why Chloe has been so hesitant to use her touchy-feely personality in full force after their failed attempt last week is because Chloe probably isn't ready. And Beca has been trying to convey how the last thing she wants is to force Chloe into anything she isn't comfortable with, but Chloe purposely pulls away.
Sleeping together isn't Beca's main goal and she had tried explaining that on their way home after Monday's session with Dr. Worthington. But Chloe just shutdown and power walked back to their cabin and spent the rest of the afternoon sketching in her bedroom.
On the other, hand Beca understands how nerve wracking and tiring it is to talk about their nonexistent sex life and intimacy issues because it's all they've been talking about for the past week. So to try and make this so called 'magic happen' puts a lot of pressure on both of them.
Beca's eye snapped open at the thumping of feet and paws on the wooden dock. Sitting up on her elbows she twisted slightly and smiled at her girlfriend who had Billie and Gizmo trailing closely behind.
Sitting up fully, Beca made room by scooting over, "Hey…"
"Hey Bec…" after slipping off her shoes Chloe handed over a water bottle. "I thought you might've fallen asleep," she giggled as she sat down, "so we were coming down to make you move to the hammock or your bed."
"I was just thinking," twisting the cap off her bottle Beca took a sip then smiled when Chloe pressed a quick kiss to her right cheek, god she had missed that. "I'm not gonna lie," looking over her shoulder she grinned, "that hammock is calling my name."
Chloe tapped her temple thoughtfully, "I was thinking the same thing."
"What can I say?" Beca raised her bottle and so did Chloe, "Great minds think alike." They lightly tapped them together before taking another sip. When Gizmo stuck his head between the two and dropped a stick, she scratched behind his ears, "Awe dude we'll play later I promise! Now go lay down by Billie."
Gizmo ducked away and they watched him settle next to Billie with his front paws on the edge of the dock, looking longingly at the water below.
Chloe leaned in closer and whispered, "He looks so sad, like you put him in timeout."
Beca snorted out a laugh because that was highly accurate, "Yeah well he can wait until later when we're on the beach. Lifting him in and out of the water is such a pain in the ass."
They both laughed because Beca had made the mistake of doing that with both Billie and Gizmo the first week they were here and ever since they have refused to swim the short distance to the beach. Chloe can admit it was funny the first day, but a week later when they were still doing it and she swears their dog's weight doubles each time they throw a stick or ball in the water.
Recapping her half empty bottle Beca set it aside, "So what's up?"
"I missed you," Chloe swung her legs back and forth in the water, "when I got up this morning you were gone already. I forgot you had an early day with Dr. Worthington."
"Yeah…I couldn't sleep so I hit the gym early," Beca had left a note and Chloe didn't seem angry or upset, just genuinely missed at breakfast this morning. And if she was being honest she had missed Chloe's smiling face this morning too, "After that I came back to shower then grabbed a coffee and my book and headed down to wait on Dr. W."
"How'd today go?"
Beca just shrugged, "Weird is the best way I can put it."
"We all have those days," Chloe said, her eyes trained on the water. "Sometimes it feels like we hardly talk about anything and it leaves me more confused than if I'd cried the whole time."
"That's exactly how I felt today," Beca whispered. "I mean he tried to talk about my birthday, but then he backed off," their feet brushed together and she looked over and they smiled, "it's like he could sense it was a sensitive subject."
"Probably, I mean birthdays are hard for you right?" Chloe got a nod in response. "I'd guess since it's so close that he didn't want to push the subject right now." She glanced over and their eyes connected, "He did the same thing for my little sister's birthday last month."
"Like the closer it gets, do you feel empty right here," Beca's hand went to her heart, "making you feel like birthday's can never be the same?"
Chloe can easily agree there's a pang in her heart on all her family's birthdays, "Yeah, but it's weird for me because I never really celebrated my birthday until Aubrey threw that surprise party for me this year. But I always made a big deal out of my sisters, I loved watching her face light up."
Birthdays in the Beale household were nonexistent, Chloe never got even a pat on the back and she's not even sure her Dad remembered all the time. Whenever July twenty-second rolled around half the time her parents weren't home and if they were they never willingly acknowledged it without her dropping hints. But then Aubrey turned their July 'family dinner' into a full fledged surprise party for her at the Posen-Swanson house. They ate and drank way too much and laughed all night until everyone eventually passed out on random pieces of furniture, including her with her head in Beca's lap and their fingers laced together. It was the best birthday she ever had and for the first time she knew what her sister had felt like.
"But yeah," Chloe thoughtfully nodded, "I feel empty on her birthday. It's just not the same, you know?"
It was nice to finally be open about a lot of things with Beca and most of the time Chloe found it easier to talk to her girlfriend then with Dr. Worthington. After that day at the park near Beca's house on their non-date date their communication has drastically improved and she can already tell their relationship is stronger.
"I totally get it," Beca agreed seeing the similarities between her birthday and Chloe's sister. "Even though she never made a huge deal, my mom always made it special and ever since she died it's just hasn't been the same."
They were quiet for a few minutes, Chloe had been racking her brain for the past week on if she should even mention Beca's birthday let alone give the presents she'd already bought. She'd heard horror stories from Aubrey and Jesse and they'd recommended going on like it was just another day, but this was her girlfriend's birthday and Chloe doesn't just want to let it slide by.
"What's wrong?" Beca's eyes were focused on Chloe nervously twisting her thumb ring.
Following Beca's gaze, Chloe stilled her hands, "So I'm just gonna ask and please just hear me out before you turn it down," she got this half smile in return that made her want to kiss Beca so bad, like really kiss Beca. Pushing the thought aside she cleared her throat, "I know you haven't celebrated you birthday in a long time, but can I do something for you?"
Chloe bit her lip as Beca's eyes shifted to the lake then back to those beautiful blue ones, "I don't know."
Chloe gave a hopeful smile, "I promise I'm not trying to replace or outdo your mom."
"Can we keep it low key?" Beca's resolve was crumbling, she just can't say no to Chloe.
"Nothing flashy," Chloe pledged holding up a hand. "I've got a few ideas floating around that'll be fun."
"Ok, I guess," Beca gave a wirily smile and it was like she could see the wheels turning in Chloe's head, "seriously though you don't have to go out of your way or anything."
"I know…" Chloe beamed knocking their feet together again, leaning in closer her eyes flicked to Beca's lips then back up as she whispered, "I just want to give you the Chloe Beale birthday you deserve."
"I look forward to it," things were progressing nicely again, it didn't feel forced or manufactured and Beca wanted to try and capitalize on the moment like she had discussed with Dr. Worthington this morning. Slightly tilting her head she inched just that little bit closer. "I've liked the entire Chloe Beale experience so far," she murmured brushing their noses together making her girlfriend swallow hard, "and I can't wait for more."
Just as Beca was ducking in for the kiss, Chloe leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees forcing Beca's lips to connect with her shoulder.
"Oh denied…" Beca tried to softly joke as she kissed the shoulder, but even she recognized the frustration in her tone.
As a cheek rested against her shoulder, Chloe knew Beca was momentarily hiding her embarrassment and overall disappointment. Chloe has no idea why she keeps doing this to Beca, to them really, because that setup was perfect. Beca had said all the right things, made all the right moves, and they both clearly wanted it, but at the last minute Chloe pulled away for no fucking reason again. She'd been doing it all week and she can't find a single excuse that sounds good enough or justifies any of her actions.
"I'm sorry," Chloe said guiltily closing her eyes. "I'm so sorry, I swear babe it's not you."
"Hey, hey slow down," taking a hand Beca locked their fingers together and kissed the back of Chloe's hand, "it's ok, I'm not upset."
Now Chloe felt even worse, "But you should be though." She tried to wipe away a tear with her free hand but Beca beat her to it. "God," she breathed out, "you're being so patient and so understanding and I just keep turning you down and you never ask why."
"Because I'm not worried…" Beca searched Chloe face and all she saw was pain and she tightened her grip, "And I'm not going anywhere. We've hit a little roadblock, we're going to get past it."
"But lately I've turned down all of your advances Bec, all of them," dropping their joined hands Chloe raked her fingers through her hair. "We joke and we flirt constantly and I love that," she glanced to her left and Beca was intently watching her with loving eyes, "it makes us feel normal, like how we used to be, you know?" Beca nodded with an easy smile. She didn't mean to unload all of this right now, but once she started she just couldn't stop because she'd been bottling it up for a week, "And I want to kiss you and god I want us to have sex. I mean I think about it and you constantly, like an ungodly amount." Training her eyes on the water she ran her hands along her thighs until Beca stopped them, "But I feel like I'm living my life under a microscope right now. I feel like you're waiting for sex and I'm waiting for sex and Dr. Worthington is waiting for us to have sex, hell everyone is waiting for us to have sex," she was franticly waving her hands now, "so that we can then talk about it and I don't know try to decipher how it'll affect us." Wiping under her eyes she hated herself for crying right now, "All I want to do is be with you physically and not have to analyze it with anyone. Sex and intimacy shouldn't be this complicated for me, but right now it is."
Beca has no reason to be angry or even upset because Chloe has been working so hard to overcome a ton of shit in her life these last few months. Beca sees the progress every day, but she also sees the physical and mental toll it takes on her girlfriend. Yeah it's frustrating that they are lacking the physical part of their relationship and yeah it sucks that they almost had it back and now it's gone, but everything else about them as a couple is falling back into place. And lately Chloe has been so stressed that she has overlooked that.
Wrapping a protective arm around her girlfriend, Beca scooted closer, "Chloe, why didn't you tell me you were feeling this way?"
"Because I've been too scared," a tender kiss was placed to the side of Chloe's head and she relaxed a little bit. The gesture was so loving and simple that she just closed her eyes and absorbed it, "I mean Dr. Worthington has spent an entire week talking about our lack of intimacy and sex life," a hand ran comforting circles along her back, "and all of our group activities and homework have been structured around it."
"Yeah it has," Beca kissed the side of Chloe's head again, "and I get it and honestly," she gave a heavy sigh because she was tired of all that too, "I went along with it because I thought it was helping, I didn't know you were just blindly going through the motions for all the same reasons I was."
Chloe sat up straighter and let out a relived, but still wobbly, breath, "So you're feeling just as pressured to be with me as I am with you?"
"Definitely," Beca agreed, joining their hands again she moved them protectively back to her lap. "Trust me Chlo, I want us to get back there, like a lot, I think it's something we both need," her face flushed when Chloe hummed in agreement. "I mean fuck we came so close last week and now Dr. W thinks there's some issue and that's when things got weird."
"But was there an issue?"
"As crazy as it sounds before he said that I never thought there was."
Chloe relaxed hearing that, "I didn't either, I just wanted us to take it slow."
"And I agree," Beca stared down at their joined hands watching Chloe toy with her fingers. "I just got so confused because he kept telling me I purposely closed myself off to you. So I've been trying harder not to, in our sessions, in our homework, in everything," she shrugged, "Chlo, I thought this was all me. I had no idea you felt the same way."
"Yeah, and it's put a total damper on my affection toward you," Chloe brushed her thumb over Beca's palm and smiled. "I felt like holding your hand," she laced their fingers together, "or cuddling up to you that I'd have to report back to Dr. Worthington. So I'd find reasons to not do it and eventually it became all I thought about."
"And I've been trying to construct perfect moments," Beca admitted because she had been trying to put themselves in predicaments that would increase their chances of intimacy, "but they just seemed forced and so out of place," Chloe just bit her lip. "I don't like manufacturing moments with you, we've always had a pretty great success just letting things happen and I want to get back to that."
"Me too, I want that so bad," Chloe confessed. "Like when we almost slept together last week, that felt totally natural."
"Yeah and I fucked that up…" Beca answered knowing full well that she had unintentionally hit the brakes on that moment. "And I'm sorry…"
"Babe, don't apologize," Chloe said, "I loved it, it was the best day I've had since we've been here and I had so much fun with you."
Things had started simple, they were doing this obstacle course that was focused on building trust and confidence in each other and Beca had decided to make it fun so she challenged another couple to a race. Right after she did she saw this gleam in Chloe's eye and she realized she had completely forgotten about Chloe's uber competitive streak when it comes to any type of competition and it was so hot. During Chloe's pregame pep talk, which included a weird chant, Beca was told to do whatever it took to win, even if it meant putting themselves in close compromising positions. And when Beca says close, she means feeling every curve and dip of Chloe's body as they worked their way through the course.
The first time Beca noticed how close they were was when they ended on top of each other after trying to maneuver across this floating bridge thing in the middle of the lake while holding hands. The float had been more unsteady and slippery than Beca had anticipated and it caused her to briefly lose her footing as they tried to walk. When she dropped their hands and threw out her arms for balance Chloe ended up grabbing the back of her t-shirt to try and keep them upright. Somehow their legs got tangled together and they spectacularly fell in while laughing hysterically. It was when they were attempting to stand when Chloe stole the first kiss taking Beca totally by surprise and making her fall off the mat and into the lake. They lost that part of the obstacle course, because they had to start from the beginning, but they didn't really care.
Then there was the tire swing where Chloe thought the best way to win was to move from tire to tire at the same time. Chloe was dead wrong about that strategy and they ended up clinging to each other for balance as they began building momentum with each swing until they could grab the next tire. Chloe's body was pressed up against Beca's and Beca had felt everything and she also saw the way Chloe's eyes flicked down to her V-neck t-shirt then lips and back up. So after a few long seconds of complete eye sex, Beca was the one who stole a kiss right before she spectacularly busted her ass after loosing her grip on the rope. Chloe had done the doting girlfriend routine and immediately hopped down to check on her and comically kiss each of her injuries before helping her stand and dragging her to the next obstacle stating that they had to win something or they were going to lose. Beca's pretty sure Chloe's grumbles were purely for entertainment value because everyone in the group, including Chloe, had laughed at their antics.
The whole afternoon had been like that, a lingering touch here, a small kiss with a smoldering look there, hell after their first kiss they started flirting hardcore. They were supposed to be in a race with another couple, but it seemed like their entire competition was centered around who could make the raciest innuendos or flirtatious remarks. It was awesome and they were both so worked up that once they got to the end of the final obstacle, crawling over and under logs in a mud pit, they weren't holding anything back. Chloe had even flashed her abs while Beca aimed the water hose at her girlfriend claiming she was ready to judge Chloe in a wet t-shirt contest.
Up until that day, their kisses and flirtatious remarks had been harmless and fun while never really leading anywhere. However, the minute they stepped on that obstacle course the way they acted and flirted was different and on the way back to their cabin it was like the rising sexual tension could be cut with a knife. They shared these amazing lingering and gentle kisses along the way, but every time Beca tried to deepen it, Chloe would playfully pull away by doing something incredibly sexy and claiming that she 'was ready to break their ground rules in a spectacular fashion.' And Beca can still remember the look of desire on Chloe's face as she peeled her wet t-shirt off and dropped it at Beca's feet before doing this come hither motion with her fingers as she opened the cabin door and said something about them needing a long hot shower.
Beca knew what that meant and she knew they were both ready, they had been for weeks, but then as they were passing through the living room her phone chimed on the coffee table signaling a new text message. Beca stupidly removed her hands from Chloe's hips and picked it up just to see who it was and then like the fucking moron that she is when it rang she answered. She had been apologetic and Chloe had teasingly given her the signal saying she had two minutes to get her ass to the bathroom, but nothing with Gail ever takes two minutes. So fifteen minutes later as she sat out on the back deck talking about the upcoming Skyfall recording session she saw Chloe exit the bathroom wrapped in a towel and her heart sank. Beca knew she had blown it and when Chloe emerged from her bedroom a couple hours later she wasn't mad, just kind of standoffish and disappointed.
It was all Beca's fault because things were different between them after that. It seemed like all the progress they had been making was shattered by one stupid move. And unfortunately Dr. Worthington hadn't minced his words when he basically said she wasn't trying hard enough and that she should've capitalized on the chance for physical intimacy when the opportunity presented itself. So she started trying harder and started trying to create these moments, she just never figured that all of this shit would come as a result.
"Yeah but I still ruined everything, I've caused us all this stress because I answered the fucking phone, I'm so sorry," Beca kicked her foot in the water in frustration.
"Bec, its ok," cupping a cheek Chloe leaned over and gently kissed Beca's lips. "When I told Dr. Worthington what happened the next day, I wasn't even mad," she knew Beca had been waiting for two days to hear from Gail and she didn't try to reignite anything because the moment had passed. "I was just casually relaying what happened and how I felt like we had grown closer," Beca give a weak smile, "I told him I knew we'd get back there, that we just needed a few days to work it out. I guess he took it a different way and suddenly it became this huge deal."
"I said all the same things," Beca picked up Chloe's hand and kissed the palm. "When you started pulling away again I just thought you maybe wanted to take a step back and abide by our ground rules."
"No, babe, no," Chloe shook her head.
"Chlo, I'm completely ok with doing that," Beca stressed, "I feel like I just got you back and I don't want to fuck up what we've got going because we're just horny assholes."
Chloe shyly smiled at the thoughtfulness and how Beca was in this one-hundred percent with her, "Those rules were a stupid idea, since the moment we set them I've thought about breaking them."
"Me too…" Kicking her feet Beca let out a relieved breath, all her previous worrying had really been for nothing, "You know, you and I, we never really had a problem in the sex department. We had a problem with our communication and this is a prime example." Glancing at Chloe, she lovingly smiled, "We didn't gradually lose interest in each other like most of the other couples here, I never have, and that's what I don't think Dr. W understands."
"You're right," Chloe bit her lip in thought, "I think with all these activities it has given us like…"
"Performance anxiety?" Beca blurted making them both chuckle.
That was a funny way of putting it, but performance anxiety perfectly sums up what Chloe has been feeling lately. She knows whether it's cuddling or kissing or sex that she'll have to report it back to Dr. Worthington, who will then analyze it and that's what has worried her the most. She just wanted to be with Beca like she used to, where it was fun and carefree and with no outside pressures. She gets why Dr. Worthington has made a big deal out of it, because some couples they've met have major issues about love and sex, but she and Beca never have until they were told they did.
Up until her parents died Chloe has always considered herself to be a very sexual person. Sex and intimacy were a big part of her relationships and she knew the person she was going to end up with would need to be compatible in all those aspects and so far Beca has. In fact, Beca fits so comfortably in every part of her life that Chloe sometimes wonders what she did to deserve someone as great as Beca. She just can't believe she let herself get so worked up about this when there was nothing wrong to begin with.
"Basically yeah," Chloe agreed, "I guess I've been obsessing over it and I'm sorry."
"Hey, I get it Chlo," for first time Beca felt like they were exactly on the same page. Chloe's head rested on her shoulder and they watched a family on a pontoon boat cruise by, "You know what?"
"What?" Chloe sighed kissing Beca's shoulder.
"We need a break from this place," Beca said as she continued watching the boat.
Checking her watch Chloe regretfully sighed, "We don't have time to leave for lunch. We have that group activity at noon, then Dr. Worthington at four, and most likely homework."
"Yeah well, fuck all that," Beca nonchalantly said making Chloe sit up. "We need a break and I'm not talking about just for an hour or two. We," she motioned between them, "need like a solid break from all the shit we've got going on here."
They had been hitting The Lodge at Fallen Leaves hard since the day they arrived and have had very little downtime to just chill. Even their Saturday and Sunday's were packed with at least one or two activities, so they were mentally and physically exhausted and it was well past time for a break. Regardless of what Chloe was going to say Beca wasn't going to take no for an answer, they needed this. They were taking the rest of today off and the whole weekend too.
"Bec we can't," Chloe chided but her girlfriend was already nodding and smiling in a yes we can type of way, "we can't just pack up and leave."
"We won't leave, I like our cabin," Beca grinned and knocked shoulders with Chloe, "I'm just talking about stepping aside from the retreat for a few days. It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend, let's just hangout and nap and barbeque hamburgers and hotdogs and just relax while doing whatever random shit we want."
Chloe couldn't hide her smile, Beca's enthusiasm was intoxicating, "I don't know."
"Oh come on Chlo, this will be good for us. Better than any activity we could ever do right now. Plus," Beca wiggled her eyebrows enticingly, "I wanna rent a boat and explore the lake! This place is huge," throwing out her arm she swept it back and forth showcasing the lake. "I wanna find a secluded small beach so we can picnic and swim or you can tan while I read."
God that sounded amazing and totally what they needed, but Chloe had no idea how to operate a boat. Despite her parents owning one, she was never has never actually been on it when it left the marina, in fact it has never left the marina.
"Do you even know how to safely operate a boat?" Chloe asked with a hint of sarcasm as grey-blue eyes stared back at her in challenge. "Come on, quit joking boats are dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. I mean you freaked out about a simple kayak."
"That doesn't mean I don't know how to drive a boat," Beca retorted.
"Right," Chloe laughed and when Beca just stared her down wearing a smirk she quieted. "Holy shit, do you really?"
"Yes absolutely," Beca slowly nodded. Jesse grew up around boats, his dad had two, and she was always being conned into going out on them almost every weekend during the summer. So naturally she learned her way around one, "Jesse's dad taught us, he even made us take a safety course one summer before he'd let us go alone. So in answer to your question, yes I'm fully equipped to handle a boat."
"Like you know how to dock and fuel up and read all the equipment and not hit things?" Chloe hesitantly asked as Beca nodded. "Can we bring Billie and Gizmo?"
"Of course!"
"When was the last time you drove a boat?"
Beca lobbed her head back and forth for a few seconds, "Last summer…Jesse's dad, Anthony, was trying to sell one of his to this dude in San Fran and it got shipped all the way up here then the guy backed out," she can't believe she or even Aubrey, who surprisingly likes boats, hadn't told Chloe any of this. "Jesse talked his dad into leaving it in my slip in the marina across the street from my house for the summer while he tried to sell it. So we took everyone out on it when it was nice out. Even though I worked most of the time it was an awesome summer."
Chloe's mouth hung open, "You have slip in that marina? I've seen the waiting list for it, people wait years."
"Yeah, I quickly found that out from Anthony and Jesse. It came with the house when I bought it, I had no idea until I was handed keys to the gates and my slip number. Apparently I missed that little bit of information during the whole buying process. It's cool though," Beca shrugged and they laughed, "most of the time it just sits empty, but if Jesse or I ever get a boat, we have a convenient place to keep it."
"I have a boat," Chloe blurted and Beca just stared at her with wide eyes. "Sorry, yeah I do. It's one of the few things of my parents that I kept, my dad bought it a couple weeks before died and he never got to use it."
"You have a boat?"
Even though it was on her list of things to do for obvious reasons Chloe hadn't gotten a chance to check on it when she was back home last month.
"Yep, it's just sitting in a marina on Lake Lanier," Chloe shifted her eyes away from Beca's and down to their feet in the water. "It's literally brand new, plastic is still on all the seats and everything…I pay the marina extra to start it up a couple times a year and to keep it maintained."
Beca reached for Chloe's hand again and it easily slipped back into hers, "Why'd you keep it?"
"I have no clue," Chloe's feet flowed through the cool water, "I've never been out on it, it's called a sport cruiser, I think. I probably should've sold it just like everything else…I mean I have no idea how to handle it, all I've ever driven is a jet ski."
"But I do…" Beca quietly said, she was getting the feeling that Chloe hadn't sold it because it didn't have any tainted memories on it yet. "I'm just gonna throw this out there, but why don't you have it shipped to San Francisco, I'll even help pay for the cost. You can put it in my slip since it's just sitting empty and I can teach you everything you need to know."
Chloe gave a half shrug, "I don't know."
"Just think about it," Beca winked, "It could be great for Sunday afternoon adventures or random Wednesday afternoon sunset dinners."
"Hmmm," Chloe tilted her head thoughtfully, "your offer sounds very tempting."
"I like tempting," Beca leaned in closer and hesitated for just a few seconds before delivering a gentle lingering kiss. The moment wasn't constructed and Chloe didn't dodge or try to pull away, it just happened and felt entirely right. Deciding not to tempt fate she slowly backed away and smiled, "Progress right?"
Chloe let out a slow ragged breath feeling her whole body heat up, "You sure know how to take a girl's mind off things."
Wetting her lips Beca tasted a hint of Chloe's coconut lip gloss, "See what happens when we aren't thinking about it?"
Chloe nodded biting her lip and Beca swears that look will quite possibly be her undoing.
"I totally see your point and I want more opportunities for these kinds of kisses," Chloe grinned.
Ducking her head Chloe easily gave another, this time Beca put a little more heat to it, but still somehow kept it deliberate and slow. It made her want so much more because damn she loved the way Beca kissed her and made her feel.
Breathless Chloe backed away, "Yeah, I definitely want," taking in a gulp of air she wiped lip gloss from the corner of her mouth, "more of those, please."
"I can give you more," Beca winked. Inching closer she whispered, "I can give you whatever you want…"
"Anything?"
"Anything…" Beca repeated lowly next to Chloe's ear. "So what do you say," she could feel Chloe's smile grow against her cheek, "can we ditch this place for a few days and just concentrate on us and having fun?"
Pulling back Chloe gave a peck and grinned again, "You drive a hard bargain Beca Mitchell. So yes…let's do it."
"Fucking awesome!" Beca yelled making Billie and Gizmo stand and look at them. "Well let's make a move my love," her mouth snapped shut at the reference she hadn't used in months and Chloe visibly blushed, "sorry…"
"You can call me that," Chloe bit her lip, "I've missed you calling me that."
To be honest Beca had missed it too, "Oh ok…"
Chloe playfully bumped their shoulders, "As long as I can keep calling you babe, baby, and most recently Professor Mitchell. I find the last one the sexiest of them all."
Coughing at the reference Beca looked away, "Well ok then."
"So that's a yes to the Professor Mitchell thing?"
Beca rolled her eyes, even she still can't believe she accepted that teaching gig, "Yes…Now come on nerd we're burning daylight."
Quickly standing Chloe helped Beca up, "Can you let Dr. Worthington know we're not coming today?"
"I'll take care of that first," after slipping her shoes back on Beca followed Chloe down the dock. "Can you take me into town afterwards so I can rent the boat?"
"You got!"
Beca rushed to catch up, "After you drop me off, stop at the grocery store and grab a couple bags of ice and a cheap cooler. Also get whatever you think we'll need for the day, you know like snacks and sunscreen…Oh," she snapped her fingers, "and beer, don't forget the beer."
"I'm on it!" Chloe shouted, stretching out her hand behind her, Beca's easily slipped into hers and it was like everything was right in the world again. Damn she should've confessed what was bothering her sooner, because all that pressure and awkwardness is gone, "Can you get life vests for Billie and Gizmo?"
Beca nodded as they made their way up to the cabin while swinging their hands, "Don't forget your bathing suit either."
Chloe stopped and ran her eyes down her girlfriend's body, "You too."
By the time Sunday rolled around Chloe was all for having a boat permanently in her life. When she was a camp consoler during college she never spent any time on a boat that wasn't a canoe or kayak, so speeding along the smooth water with the wind in her hair and the sun shining down on them it's safe to say she loves it. She loves it so much that over lunch, at a cute harbor side restaurant they found, they decided to rent the boat until after Beca's birthday and agreed to start looking into what it would take to bring her boat to San Francisco.
Things were good between them right now, amazing in fact, and the last three days just kind of proves that. From the moment they arrived at the retreat things were a little strained and they tiptoed around each other, but eventually things loosened up and now they're here. No doubt they've had to relearn things about each other and they've had some tough couple's sessions with Dr. Worthington and a few arguments, but they've worked through everything. It was almost like once they sat down in that very first couples session back in San Francisco it shed light on all kinds of things and they were now determined to make things right and get back on track. And Chloe is so thankful for that because she hadn't lied when she said Beca was the most important thing in her life and she was ready to prove it.
What surprised Chloe the most was how true to her word Beca had been that afternoon in the park near her house. Beca had truly forgiven Chloe for everything she had done and all the shit she had put her through. Beca isn't holding onto grudges and she isn't dangling her insecurities over her head and neither is Chloe. They have both stepped up, taken responsibility for their actions, and are actively working on their flaws and because of that they are communicating better than ever. In addition to her normal one-on-one sessions with Dr. Worthington after the retreat, she even suggested they see him once or twice a month as a couple and Beca readily agreed.
Chloe has taken to heart everything she's learned about herself, about Beca, and about them these past few weeks and she is applying them. Instead of shutting down and keeping things bottled up inside, she's seeking out Beca's support when things get tough. She is also willingly allowing Beca into walled off aspects of her life and to pick up the pieces when she is at her worst and is feeling completely broken. Chloe can't believe how stupid and insensitive she had been so early on in their relationship. Beca has shown her this unconditional love and support since day one and all Chloe had done was try to hold Beca at arm's length. Chloe knows she can't do it alone anymore and she doesn't want to when she has someone as amazing and strong as Beca Mitchell standing beside her.
Chloe doesn't have her life figured out, hell she doesn't know if she'll ever have it completely figured out, but one thing she is dead certain about is that she has Beca. Beca just loves her so simply and beautifully and with no hidden agenda. And god to be loved, like truly loved, by someone like Beca who is so selfless and kind and caring, well it's everything that Chloe has needed in her life, it's everything she had been missing, and it's something she will never take for granted.
Taking a swig from her beer bottle sitting in the tacky orange cozzie given to them by the restaurant they had just left, Chloe looked to her right and smiled at the sight of her girlfriend. Beca looked every bit as happy and relaxed as she felt just to be hanging out with absolutely no pressure or time constraints on them from anything. She hadn't meant to make such a big deal out of the whole sex and intimacy thing, but it had been magnified and talked about so much that it had her afraid to make even the tiniest move. And now after their discussion, where much to her surprise she learned Beca had been feeling the same, she noticed the shift in both their attitudes back towards normalcy.
It's barely been three days since they had that talk and things were slowly picking up. Chloe sees the way Beca looks at her, she catches those shy loving smiles from across the room and the way those grey-blue eyes delicately and deliberately speak to her even when they aren't talking and how they trace her form appreciatively. The physical closeness is back too, holding hands is almost a constant thing and just yesterday after bringing Beca a fresh drink she had been pulled down into the hammock where they spent a couple of hours just talking and laughing, and yeah last night they totally snuggled in Beca's bed after dinner watching Netflix until they fell asleep. It's beyond reassuring to know that things were progressing in the right direction for them.
Biting her lip, Chloe allowed her eyes to wander and slowly trace Beca's form from head to toe from behind the safety of her sunglasses and she loved what she saw. Her girlfriend was standing with one hand on the wheel and the other on the throttle concentrating on maneuvering through the water past a group of kids on jet skis and a few boats. Fuck, Beca in that black San Francisco Giants hat, shorts, a maroon t-shirt and flip-flops looking entirely at home driving a boat was the epitome of a turn on. She had no idea Beca would be this comfortable on any boat, let alone a boat with an engine and could go fast. If they weren't in the middle of the water she would totally be jumping Beca Mitchell's bones right now. In fact, she doesn't know why either of them haven't done that already, they've been dancing around it and a thorough make out session for days. And quite frankly she's ready to get down to it, more than ready actually, and she's pretty sure it has now become a game to see who can hold out the longest.
When Beca turned to look at her, she smirked, and Chloe felt her face flush bright red. Damn, she had been caught and she didn't even care.
Leaning over slightly so she could hear better over the engines Beca asked, "Like what you see?"
"You have no idea," Chloe smiled before taking another sip from her beer. The wind hit her own hat just right as she was settling back against her seat and it almost went flying making them both laugh. "That could've been a travesty," she singsonged settling it back into place.
"If you stand up and lift your arms," Beca seductively winked slowing the boat to almost a crawl, "can your shirt be next?"
Chloe just threw her head back and laughed, "Why? You want to check me out Professor Mitchell?"
"I just want to admire what the good lord has blessed you with," Beca gently killed the boat engine. Motioning Chloe over, she grinned, "Come here gorgeous…"
Downing another swig of beer Chloe purposely didn't make any attempts to move. Instead she just stretched out her legs, crossed her feet at the ankles, and tipped her bottle back again. As they stared each other down she saw the wheels turning in Beca's head and it was fun to be playing these games again. This was exactly how she felt when they stole kisses, teased, and flirted with each other during the obstacle course. It was making her body buzz to life and it felt good.
"Chlo…" Beca's voice wobbled, as her girlfriend's eyebrow arched and she knew she'd been cracked. She let out a pent up and sexually frustrated sigh of, "Jesus woman!"
Chloe just doubled over in laughter, "Babe, I didn't do anything."
"Yeah well you're," Beca waved a hand, "you and you're…" damn she was flustered, "so unbelievably fucking hot."
Standing, Chloe glided over purposely to her girlfriend, "You are so easy to rile up, all I showed you were my legs."
"Yeah well, I'll say it again," Beca took the beer from Chloe's hands so arms could snake around her waist, "you're hot and we haven't," she gave a short high then low whistle making Chloe laugh, "in a long time, so honestly at this point it, legs is all it takes to get me going." She downed the rest of Chloe's beer in one long pull then purposely set the empty bottle in a cup holder making their bodies press flush against each other. The breathy giggle against her neck just turned her own more, "You are something else Chloe Beale. I swear you're going to be the death of me one day."
Chloe brushed her lips against the shell of Beca's ear and whispered, "You don't sound too upset by that."
"How can I be, I just got you back," pressing a kiss the underside of Chloe's jaw made her girlfriend shiver, "that's enough to make me die a happy camper. But if you want to give me a heart attack just," she pulled back and winked, "flash a boob or something."
They felt so much like the old them right now, Beca was happy and Chloe was in her girlfriend's arms and it was everything she wanted in life. The last few days of doing this and talking have been just as beneficial to their relationship as all the other activities and couples sessions they've been doing.
"What would the whole naked package do to you?" Biting her lip Chloe turned up the heat between them by wiggling her hips, just testing the waters to see how far she could push it before one of them breaks.
"Oh it'd kill me for sure," Beca smoothly said, dipping her hands lower on Chloe's ass she grinned when they weren't pushed away. "Although I would die," she ducked her head forward and teasingly nipped at Chloe's bottom lip, "with the biggest smile on my face and no regrets."
Chloe dove in for the kiss, but Beca countered the movement and chuckled at her girlfriend's needy hum of dissatisfaction.
"Well it sure seems like you're not interested in what I'm trying to offer."
"Oh I'm totally interested."
"Then what are you waiting for?"
"Just dramatically building the tension…" Beca's heart was pounding as fingers slid up her arms and their gaze never broke. "We haven't kissed like I think we're going to kiss in…" she closed an eye and pondered the thought making Chloe giggle, "well in like forever. Plus I kinda love it when you're frustrated like this," they were both about to combust but still wanted to take it slow. "And I'm glad we've gotten to this point again. I never want to not have moments like this with you. So I ummm…" she let out a slow anxious breath, "we're just relishing in the moment before we get down to business."
Chloe just laughed because every word of that was true.
"You are so cute Bec, so cute," placing her hands on Beca's cheeks, Chloe stared into grey-blue eyes and spoke what was on her mind, "You're the best girlfriend ever. You saved me," she stroked her thumbs along smooth skin, "and you've fixed everything that is broken in my life. I royally fucked up by keeping things from you and then walking out, but you continue to amaze me with your dedication. Not many people would do what you've done for me, so thank you," Beca's hand reached up and wiped her tear away before it fell. "You have no idea how lucky I feel to be standing here with you."
"I still think I'm the lucky one in this whole scenario," Beca confessed, "I learn more about you every day and I just fall deeper."
Chloe tenderly smiled before pressing a kiss to her girlfriend's lips and mumbling, "I love you," against them, "I'm so in love with you Beca Mitchell…"
Beca didn't say anything, instead she answered by sinking into the kiss. It started slow sending these jolts of electricity straight to the part of her brain that constantly made her want to go all in all the time with Chloe. They hadn't kissed like this in ages and it reminded her just how good Chloe was at it and how much she had missed it. She had forgotten the way Chloe tasted when their tongues rolled together, how every curve of Chloe's body molded perfectly against hers and how they just somehow moved completely in sync with each other. Then there was the way Chloe's fingertips always found their way to her hip and under her shirt to glide against her skin leaving these burning trails in their wake while the other set toyed with the hair at the base of her neck curving and scratching the sensitive skin there. Finally there were those ridiculously fucking sexy sighs and whimpers that escaped each time they broke the kiss for air. It was all so perfect, better than any music she could ever write, and she never wanted to stop.
God kissing Chloe felt so good, it was everything, it was life, and the kicker was that Chloe was responding with just as much fervor. It was all so familiar, yet new, because each time they kissed it was never the same, there were always subtle differences that kept Beca on her toes. And as great as the kisses they'd shared over the past few days were, some of which teetered dangerously close to developing into this, they were never this intense, all of those were nothing compared to this. Fuck, all the kisses they'd shared over the course of their entire relationship didn't hold a candle to this.
When Chloe's tongue brushed against Beca's again she shifted unsteadily on her feet and the back of her legs bumped up against the cushioned seat behind the wheel and she ungracefully sat. Without breaking the kiss Chloe placed her knees on each side of Beca's hips and settled right into her lap. Beca in turn slipped a hand under Chloe's t-shirt to rest on the smooth warm skin of her lower back as the kiss just intensified and dragged on.
The gentle rocking from the wake off a passing boat was probably the only thing that could've separated them. Resting their foreheads together Beca kept her eyes closed and just listened to their erratic breathing begin to slow while the pounding of her heart died down.
Chloe gently kissed her again and Beca hummed in satisfaction as she repeated the action and they traded simple loving kisses until they eventually came to a standstill.
"I've missed that," Beca finally said, "god, have I missed that."
"Me too," Chloe wistfully said. She shimmied her hips to a more comfortable position earning her a satisfied groan out of her girlfriend. Wrapping her arms around Beca's neck she absorbed their closeness as hands settled back on her hips. "Progress right?" She jokingly asked and got a grin in return. Ducking her head she gave another shallow kiss which Beca eagerly reciprocated. "I'd say that was progress," she breathed out against their lips once they parted.
"More like major progress," Beca's head was all fuzzy, but she felt good. Fucking hell Chloe could kiss; hell Chloe could make her head spin just by looking at her.
"I fucking missed the way you kiss me."
Shifting her weight forward, Beca leisurely placed a few open mouthed kisses down Chloe's neck while mumbling out a low, "Mmm me too."
Chloe's eyes were drawn to a boat not too far away from the dock and what she thought were people taking their picture. But then Beca distracted her again and her eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds and when she opened them again the cameras were gone. She must have been seeing things so she let it slide.
"Damn," Beca sighed sitting back, "I'm kinda speechless right now. That was one hell of a kiss."
"Better than sex?"
"Almost…" Beca opened then closed her mouth then shrugged, "I was going to insert a pretty dirty pickup line here but yeah my mind is all cloudy still."
Chloe giggled giving a quick peck, "Save up your flattery for later."
"Because it'll get me everywhere?" Beca asked hopefully then dodged a light smack.
"Possibly…" Chloe's eyes searched her girlfriend's flushed yet completely relaxed face, "We should've done that a long time ago."
"I wanted to do that after our non-date date thingy and about every day since," Beca happily sighed letting her hands trail up and down Chloe's thighs. "Then you were such a tease last week after the obstacle course."
Chloe leaned forward and placed her lips next to Beca's ear, "That's because I wanted to dramatically build the tension," she repeated making Beca chuckle and wrap her arms around her. "There's so much more I want to do to you though."
"Feel free to do whatever you want," Beca leisurely answered, "you won't hear me complain."
Leaning back Chloe pecked Beca's lips then smiled, "You're still the best kiss I've ever had."
Beca's eyes locked on clear blue ones, "You're still my best everything, you're the love of my life Chlo…" Not hesitating she added, "I love you, I never stopped loving you even when things were rocky and all we did was argue."
"I never stopped loving you either," Chloe sucked in a ragged breath, "but I'm sure as hell glad I got the chance to tell you again."
"I can't quit on you or us," Beca honestly said, "because you own my heart Chloe and have since the first time I saw you. You've helped me grow so much as a person and as a girlfriend," reaching up she ran the pad of her thumb over Chloe's bottom lip. "I made up my mind that I want to go through hell and back for you because you deserve to be happy, we deserve it. And I want to be the one who gives you the world, not anyone else, me," she tapped her heart, "because I love you Chloe."
"I love you too and thank you," Chloe bit her lip, "thank you for letting me show you that I hadn't given up on us and for trusting me again."
Finally, it was like a weight had been lifted off Beca's shoulders, the most important thing happened, they finally said I love you again and it was everything she needed. And the best part was Chloe had said it first this time, which kind of blew Beca's mind, but in a good way. She knew Chloe loved her, she could feel it, but mainly she could see it in the loving and caring actions Chloe displayed on a daily basis even when they had their roughest days.
"I'd do anything for you," Beca winked craning her neck she whispered, "because I kinda love you a whole lot." They briefly kissed again and it felt like they had smashed through that remaining roadblock preventing them from fully moving forward. Pulling back they smiled at each other, "We're like insanely good at kissing even though we haven't been practicing much lately."
"Oh I fully intend on making up for it," brushing their noses together Chloe reveled in how great it felt to be doing couplely things again. "Get your Chap Stick ready baby, we're going to be smooching all day long."
"Seriously? Smooching?" Beca scoffed trying to hide her amusement, "You're such a weirdo, I swear! I can't even with you sometimes." Chloe just beamed that bright heart stopping smile while drumming against her shoulders, "What have I gotten myself into?"
"You'll just have to wait to find out," Chloe wiggled her eyebrows enticingly, "surprising you with my wit and charm is half the fun."
"You are such a nerd!"
"You love me!"
"More than life itself," Beca grinned. Watching Chloe stand and stretch she reclined against the seat, "Beer me Beale!"
"On it," flipping around Chloe bent over the cooler and immediately got a light smack to her backside. "Hey," she chided with a giggle, "no inappropriate handling of the goodies."
"Sorry I just can't resist," Beca smugly replied, "that ass."
"You know can tap it later," Chloe seductively shot back over her shoulder and Beca's eyebrow shot up, "and that's a very open invitation. All of this…" Standing, she enticingly ran a hand down the front of her body making Beca's eyes follow. She was tired of playing the will they won't they game, it was time to spell out exactly what she wanted from Beca, "All of this is yours whenever you want it, do I need to explain further or am I clear?"
Beca dumbly nodded before sitting up straighter and clearing her throat, "Crystal…"
"Good!" Turning back to the cooler, Chloe snapped the top shut just before she was pulled unceremoniously back down into Beca's lap and kissed again. After breaking away she joked, "I'll take that as my tip any day."
"You know I hate not tipping, especially when the service and view are exceptional," taking the two beer bottles Beca used one to pop the tops of both at the same time then handed the extra one over. Tossing the caps in the beach bag at her feet she took a sip, "Thanks for always getting my favorite my love."
"Anything for you…"
"Any preference on what you want to do next?" Beca asked taking another sip while Chloe lightly swung her legs.
Chloe shrugged as the hand holding her in place lightly patted her ass, "Billie and Giz are at home alone in a strange place, so I don't want to leave them to long. How about we dock back in town, there's a cute little antique shop I wouldn't mind roaming around."
"That works for me," Beca agreed.
"And because you're the best girlfriend ever," Chloe tapped Beca's nose with her finger, "I'll stop by the grocery store and grab everything we need to make those wild mushroom and blue cheese stuffed hamburgers you've been begging me for?"
"Awesome! I can make those seasoned fries you like," Beca offered and Chloe readily nodded, "and a salad. We can stop and grab one of those board games from the main lodge and play it while we eat dinner."
"I love it when a plan comes together!" Chloe said from behind her beer bottle. "I'm totally gonna kick your ass at Qwirkle."
"I don't know what that is, but I can assure you, you won't…"
"I love you…"
"I love you too…"
"Well, let's get going sexy!"
When Chloe tried to stand, Beca just held her girlfriend's waist tighter, "Oh no you don't gorgeous, it's time for you to learn how to drive a boat."
"Nope," Chloe struggled to move, but Beca wasn't letting her budge, "Your sexy hidden boat driving talent is hot, so I just want to watch."
Leaning over Beca set her beer in the cup holder then situated Chloe on her lap so she was facing the wheel, "Chill out dude and relax," she kissed a shoulder, "I'll be right here to take over is anything goes wonky ok?"
"I can't believe you just used the word wonky," Chloe tried to deflect, "now who's the nerd."
"Whatever…" Beca laughed. Grabbing her girlfriend's hands she set one on the wheel and the other on the throttle, "Now the first thing you need to know is a boat handles a little different than a car…"
As Beca gave her the rundown of how to safely handle everything Chloe just blindly nodded and tried to take it all in. The mechanics seemed logical enough, push the throttle forward to go faster, bringing it back to ninety degrees puts it in neutral, and then pulling it backwards puts it into reverse. She was a little sketchy on the trim buttons and some of the gauges, but Beca said she'd watch them so she just focused on the basics. She just needed to remember that other boats coming from their right always had the right of way and when turning, she needs to look behind them so she doesn't hit anything.
"Ok babe you ready," Beca asked turning the engines back on.
Chloe flexed her fingers on the wheel and she looked around the lake. When her eyes landed on the same boat as before she froze, their pictures were definitely being taken. She had a better angle and view then before and she recognized the high powered camera with a telephoto lens because it was similar to what she'd seen in the photography department at Rolling Stone. They were still a pretty good distance away, so the only comfort she got was knowing that their pictures would most likely not be that great. However it didn't mean that they wouldn't get sold to the highest bidder, she found that out all too easily with Rolling Stone.
Slightly turning with her back to the photographers Chloe said, "Bec…"
Glancing up from the gauges Beca smiled, "What's up?"
"Umm," Chloe bit her lip, this was so awkward, "people are taking our picture."
"What?" Beca's head snapped up and she frantically looked around, "Where?"
"To your right, the shiny black boat close to the dock," Chloe tilted her head, "there are maybe five people."
"Fuck!" Was all Beca said as she killed the boats engine.
"Baby," Chloe calmly started placing her hands on top of Beca's nervously tapping fingers, "its ok I'm not mad. A little surprised, but not mad."
Beca let out a huff, "But how can you not be? I am…that's like a total invasion of our privacy, we were totally making out ten minutes ago. Those pictures will be online by the time we get back home."
"Oh yeah," that was a little unfortunate, but Chloe knew all they had gotten was a couple pictures of them kissing, none of their conversations were heard. "Well on the bright side they're keeping their distance."
Beca thought she saw people taking her picture a couple days ago when she rented the boat, but she just chalked it up to fans because she had signed a few autographs while they've been out and about in town over the last few weeks. This was a low key tourist town so she really didn't mind, because most of the time people stayed away and let them do their own thing. And the retreat was lock tight, she knew paparazzi couldn't get in, hell guests can't even get past the front gate without a reservation, but that probably didn't stop the other guests from commenting in Facebook or posting Instagram pictures saying she was there.
How could Chloe be so cool about this? This was what Beca was most afraid of, this is what Rolling Stone Magazine had capitalized on. Beca had pretty much resigned herself to the fact that people would want her picture and to talk to her whenever and wherever they wanted and for the most part she was cool with it. But this, she despised this and it was just fueling her anger.
"But I've been so open and honest about me and my life since my name came out," Beca spat out then pounded her fist against the seat. "Each and every time I go into the studio I stop and take pictures or give a few autographs and I chat with the person making my sub at Subway." She felt herself getting worked up and she hated herself for it, but she also couldn't really stop the rant, "I mean, I very seldom ever turn a fan down."
"And I've seen that and not very many celebrities are as gracious as you."
"So how can they do this to me when I've been so nice despite how things went down?"
Placing a gentle kiss to Beca's lips Chloe tried to put a positive spin on this, "Your celebrity status is still new. Even though your cute face," that got a little laugh from her girlfriend, "is out there, you're still a mystery to all your fans."
"But I'm so boring," Beca whined, although she did see Chloe's point. "My only redeeming traits are that I have a hot girlfriend and an adorable dog."
"Maybe," Chloe snickered, because Beca was anything but boring. Beca kept her on her toes and made life interesting. Tucking a strand of brunette hair back in place she locked their eyes, "What I'm really talking about is all those things I initially fell in love with. You're sexy and smart, but you're also down to earth."
"So are you saying I need to be more of an asshole?" Beca cracked a smile.
Chloe just rolled her eyes, "Right, I forgot to add smartass to my list."
"See another redeeming quality!" Beca laughed.
"See that's exactly what I'm talking about," linking their fingers Chloe joined in the laughter, "it's how you read the room, you just know whether to be awkwardly adorable or charmingly brash or a complete and lovable dork, especially with kids. People like all that about you because they can relate."
"What you're really saying here is that I'm kinda an awesome person," the smugness and arrogance just made Chloe laugh and all Beca's worrying washed away.
"Yeah you are," Chloe sighed smoothing out a wrinkle on Beca's shirt with a growing smile, "but at the end of the day I'm the one who has to deal with you hogging the covers every night, leaving half drunk coffee cups around my house," she swears she finds at least three on any given day, sometimes multiple in the same area, "and you're always, always, asking that Amazon Echo device the stupidest questions. Like what the meaning of life is. So you're not that awesome," she stressed.
"Excuse you," Beca gasped a hand clutching her heart in shock, "but her name is Alexa and that bitch is super smart. She answers all my questions. Except the one about working for the CIA, which is…strange…if you ask me." She firmly believed that Alexa was the best invention ever, "I've even bought some of those things for all over my house. Did you know you can connect them? So now if I'm in the kitchen and you're upstairs I can be like yo Alexa call Chloe's art room and then bam we're chatting!"
Chloe knows she should've never showed Beca how that device worked when she ordered it on a whim a few months ago. Since then whenever Beca is over she's asking that damn thing the most ridiculous questions ever. Granted when Beca does the whole 'see you later alligator' and Alexa responds with 'in a while crocodile' while she's leaving, Chloe ultimately thinks it's one of the cutest things ever and forgets all the stupid shit Beca has asked it before.
"Because it's a computer tied to the internet," Chloe deadpanned.
"It's like Google, but without hands," Beca responded.
Pressing a kiss to a cheek Chloe just laughed, "You're just lucky you're extremely cute."
"How do you do that?" Chloe just pulled back and looked at Beca with questioning eyes, "How do you know the right things to do or say to take my mind off things and calm me down?"
Chloe just shrugged, "Because I get you and you do the same for me."
"It's just frustrating you know, I'm here with you and it's our time, but other people want to know what I'm doing," letting out a long slow breath Beca looked back at the photographers then away.
"People knowing who you are is still a novelty and that hasn't worn off yet," Chloe doesn't know if she'll ever get used to Beca's fame, especially people wanting to know about their life together, but if she wants to be with Beca, she needs to learn to live with it. "Plus, with you being a guest professor at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music, that just heightens people's interest in you."
Yeah it sucks and Beca knew this would happen once everything came out, but that doesn't really make it any easier. She really needed to consider Gail's suggestion of doing an interview. It might help shake off some of the more lingering questions and fascination people had about her and it might just calm the media frenzy. Except outside of her music she still really doesn't think her life was all that interesting and she didn't know why people would want to see that.
"Damn Chlo, you're always right," tracing a pattern on Chloe's palm Beca thought about all that, "why do you have to be so right?"
Sitting up just a little straighter, Chloe proudly smiled, "Because I'm one awesome girlfriend!"
"Fuck yeah you are," Beca laughed.
"But seriously," Chloe softened her expression, "I've also thought a lot about your fame and celebrity status because it affects me too. Yeah it makes me nervous because I've never dealt with the whole world wondering about me or us. So," she took in a deep breath hoping this came out the right way, "I want us to be available and open about our relationship," Beca's mouth popped and she giggled pressing a hand over it, "but only to a certain extent and with what we feel is appropriate."
"People are curious about you," Beca commented after removing the hand.
That was an easy acknowledgement because Beca has been following the comments on some of her pictures on Instagram that have Chloe and random fans would ask about her when she was signing autographs, but she'd always sidestep away because she didn't know how much Chloe wanted them to know.
"So don't be afraid to talk about me if you want, I'm tired of hiding who I am. I'm with you and I want people to know I love you and that you make me extremely happy and quite honestly, we're cute together. And I love hearing you tell stories about us…" They both lovingly smiled at each other for a few seconds and then Chloe said without hesitation, "I'm not afraid to be pictured with you or even to answer questions if I'm asked. But I don't want to be a completely open book either, I still want the majority of our relationship to be private and off limits. And I think we both can agree to that. Besides once this whole teaching thing starts, I think you'll see you'll be followed less and less and you and I can have a normal life the majority of the time."
Wow, was all Beca could think, she really has the best and most understanding girlfriend ever. Not many friends, let alone a girlfriend, could handle the type of scrutiny they will possibly have to face. Chloe is truly amazing, she could've bailed a long time ago, but she didn't. And now she is willing to live a part of their relationship in the spotlight without hesitation and Beca doesn't really know how she ended up with a girl like this.
"That's such a mature outlook Chlo," Beca eventually said, "I wasn't expecting that."
"Well, I've thought a lot about it and discussed it with Dr. Worthington because at one time I was scared of how the press would handle my situation," Chloe said in one long breath, trying to get it out before her voice broke. "And I don't want me or us to be a hindrance in how you interact with your fans. Just answer what you're comfortable answering, I trust you."
Chloe knew everything about her family would probably come out eventually when people got desperate, but she didn't have anything to hide anymore. Her family's death wasn't her fault, she accepts that now, and it took a long time to begin moving past issues in her life and she wasn't going to allow lowlifes to push her backwards.
"You can trust me," lightly placing her hands on Chloe's face Beca made sure they were looking at each other when she said this, "People can talk about me all they want, but I will never let anyone hurt you."
"Thank you," Chloe answered resting her forehead against Beca's and held their joined hands a little tighter, "we're in this together right?"
"We are and I'm not going anywhere…"
"Good, because I love you so much," Chloe gave a quick kiss.
"I love you too."
Sitting up, Chloe wiped under her eyes then plastered on a big smile, "Now with all that being said, I don't think we should alter any of our plans for those," she pointed directly at the cameras, "people."
"Hell no!" Twisting Chloe around in her lap, Beca kissed a shoulder then said, "And by the way, you did a really great job at trying to get out of your boat driving lesson."
Looking up to the sky Chloe groaned, "Damn it!"
Taking one of her girlfriend's hands Beca placed it back on the wheel and the other on the throttle, then started the engines again, "Now remember, once we start picking up speed the bow will lift up and out of the water for a few seconds so don't freak out and slam it back into neutral. That's a quick way to get hurt."
"Got it," Chloe nodded letting out a tense breath, "what about this dial?"
"That's the engine RPMs, don't worry about it, I'll watch it." Kissing the corner of Chloe's mouth Beca smiled as she adjusted her girlfriend's hat back into place, "You've got this babe! Just concentrate on going forward and keeping it straight, once we get out and away from all the people we'll practice turning and shit ok?"
"Ok…"
Placing her hand on top of Chloe's, Beca closed their fingers around throttle, "So when you're ready slowly give it a go." The boat jerked forwards then slammed back into neutral, "Easy, I told you it's sensitive. Don't be afraid, it's just like a gas pedal, the minute you ease up on it, it's going to slow."
The second time was better and soon they were cursing along at a pace Beca equates to a teenage driver who just got their learners permit. But Chloe was so cute; her face full of concentration with her bottom lip tightly pulled between her front teeth. Beca couldn't tell if Chloe was having fun or was scared to death. Either way, Chloe wasn't complaining or nervously shaking anymore so Beca's going to go with fun. And she was having an equally fun time just watching and helping.
"See I told you, you'd make a great teacher Professor Mitchell," Chloe yelled over her shoulder.
"Eyes on the water Beale," Beca playfully reprimanded. Using her right hand she helped ease the throttle forward so they were moving a little faster, "Now, see how we're sitting high in the water and bouncing around a little?" She used her hand to show the boat angle, "let's trim the boat down for a smoother ride…"
"I need to hit this button right?" Chloe's thumb rested on the bottom red button on the throttle and Beca nodded. She pressed it for a few seconds and the boat slowly lowered back into the water, "How was that?"
"Good, but pitch it down just a little more, it's still kind of bumpy," Beca took her hand off the bottom of the steering wheel and rested it on Chloe's thigh, letting her girlfriend completely take over. "Awesome, see you're smooth sailing now. Make sure you keep your hand on the throttle in case you need to slow down. Otherwise it's all you!"
"Got it!" Chloe yelled then settled in and concentrated on her task. She was definitely nervous, but the longer she drove the more confident she became. Twisting back to look at Beca she asked, "You sure I'm not gonna hit the bottom?"
"Positive," lifting her hand Beca tapped a digital gauge to the left of the steering wheel and noted it read almost twenty-two feet. "This tells you how deep the water is," she secured her girlfriend's hat back in place when it lifted off her head, "you're good.
Kissing Beca's lips, Chloe turned back to focus on the water and navigate past the other boats and head across the huge lake. Once they were out on their own she picked up the speed a little more and Beca showed her how to successfully turn without losing much speed. For the most part she was comfortable with just going in a straight line and taking wide, sweeping turns, as for the more complicated process of docking or negotiating through other boats, well she decided to leave all that up to Beca. It was totally fun just running back and forth along the water for a little while. She was far from being a pro, but Beca was a great teacher and made it seem easy. Beca even got comfortable enough to move over and take a few pictures of her which as soon as they docked and were heading to the antique store she found herself tagged on Instagram with a couple of cute hashtags; #captainintraining, #loveofmylife and #couldmygirlfriendgetanyhotter.
Thanks for reading!
Liked it, loved it or hated it? I want to know your thoughts, so drop me a review or shoot me a PM and let me know what you think.
See I told you not to give up on Bechloe and to have a little faith! Let's just keep having faith over the next few chapters...
On another positive note, I've got the next chapter completely written and I have already begun to edit it so with any luck I should have it posted and it'll be longer than this one...I originally had this chapter and that one combined, but I didn't want an excessively long chapter. Although something tells me you guys wouldn't mind ;)
Oh and I want to wish everyone taking any type of final in the next few weeks good luck!
Until next time...