The Vow of Flowers

by Annick La

To fulfill her duty, to complete the mission and please the Elders, Sakura invokes an Uchiha tradition older than the village itself. The bonds that bind them can never be broken.

20. Line 19: Fern

Line 19: Fern

"in time of all sweet things beyond whatever mind may comprehend"

In times of Daffodils

Line 5

-E.E Cummings

---

"Decades ago, two clans whose historical differences kept them at war set aside ambitions to ally and laid the foundation for the village we call home. Senju Hashirama. Uchiha Madara. Men who saw beyond the immediate to secure a future for their predecessors. They raised the mantle for neighboring countries. Today, Senju blood runs deep in our veins as the Will of Fire, an innate desire to protect those we love at all costs. We may never comprehend the sacrifices of the bravest men and women willing to give their lives, how bravery they fought, how fiercely they loved..."

Sakura is drawn out of Kakashi's speech when Itachi grips her hand tighter. Underneath the excess of her kimono sleeve, she rubs delicate circles across his knuckles.

Everything will be okay.

He doesn't let up, and she doesn't stop.

While Kakashi waxes eloquently about the foundations of Konoha, she's reminded that it's Itachi on display here. Whether out of some morbid curiosity, genuine support, or malevolence, the people want to see the anomaly that is her partner.

The last Uchiha, dead but alive again.

The medical jounin who saved his life and gave away her love.

One false move or wrong blink, and the crowd could tear apart everything they've built.

It's like Kakashi says. None of them watching truly knew about the blood that runs under the ground and secrets gluing the walls together. Sakura's soul churns with happiness and sorrow in equal measure. They have no idea. Which means they've done their job correctly. She's happy about that, sure. It's hard not to be proud of knowing her hands contributed to the threads holding the fabric of Konoha together. But easy to recognize that her sacrifice pales in comparison to others.

"...hold on to bitterness, strife, and discontent. We will never see the truth in front of us. Regardless of our reservations or hesitations, we are always presented with a choice. A choice to do what is best for Konoha or what is best for ourselves. Whatever you do, recognize that a divided mind will eventually end itself. I've made my choice. Uchiha Itachi has made his. Our cooperation reflects the Will of Fire that drives us all. Through our partnership, this building behind me becomes more than a place of tragedy, but a symbol. A symbol of overcoming tragedy and re-writing history. We celebrate the Clans who safeguard Konoha and the shinobi who reside only in our memories. Will you join us in tearing down the walls of the enmity and reshaping the foundation of Konoha's future?"

Cheers erupt, and claps abound. Itachi releases her hand and bows to the audience. Sakura folds her hands flush against the front of her kimono and joins him in showing gratitude, bowing to the sounds of elevated enthusiasm. As the crowd reaches a fever pitch, it wraps Sakura in infectious relief of a well-executed plan coming to fruition.

Sakura whispers enthusiastically, "We did it!"

Itachi cants his head her way, eyes wide with surprise at her statement. She bites her lip to withhold her smile and says the phrase with much more softness but equal pride.

"We did it, Itachi."

The words gradually register. Itachi scans the whole of her face before his eyes soften as well. He smiles at her.

"Yes, we did," he agrees and turns away to watch the ground. His bangs brush over his face, hiding the rest of his countenance but not the quiet trail of words nearly muted by the crowd. "We did it together."

Weasel gets their attention as several other shinobi do crowd control. Itachi and Sakura move closer to the Uchiha Compound, just behind the barricades that separate them from the larger ones keeping the people at bay. Under Shikamaru's directives, some twenty shinobi press against the wall and apply enough chakra to fissure the stone.

The second wave of shinobi ready hand signs, stirring the air as a wind release looms on the horizon. For about a minute, everything and everyone goes still. Kakashi steps forward, removes his hat, and then hands it over to Shikamaru. Sakura can't see his hand signs. She's not sure what his plan is, only that the stir in the air grows warm, and clouds start to roll above. Blue light illuminates from Kakashi's direction towards the Uchiha Compound. She clenches her purse, and the wind carries her bangs and chimes in pins in her hair. Maybe because of the reverent silence as their Hokage sets his words in motion, Sakura's chest flutters with anticipation.

The clouds turn the sky into an ominous gray. Flickers of tiny blue chakra balls seeming glow in the increasing darkness. Thousands of them sail through the air toward the Uchiha Compound. When lighting crackles above, Sakura gasps. Before she can catch her breath, the entire Uchiha Compound ignites in a display that rivals fireworks.

The lighting penetrates the fissures, cracking and splitting in thunderous shockwaves. Pebbles, rocks, and gravel explode into blue pellets, get quickly gathered by wind jutsu, then thrust into the sky. The ground trembles. Sakura flinches, prepared for the rocks to rain down on their heads.

Itachi puts his arm around her and says, "Look up."

Sakura does and then quickly turns to Naruto. The sky tints are orange and red as Kurama's chakra shields all of them from the falling rocks without blocking the view of the colorful blue display above.

He lied! She thinks and then laughs at his idiot grin! Not one rock touches anyone as it bounces and evaporates into Naruto's chakra shield. The most she feels are stray dust particles that kick up with the wind. But she's so caught up in the colorful display that the dust hardly impacts. The Uchiha Compound walls virtually disintegrate before their eyes, lifted away into the sky and swallowed up by the Nine-Tails chakra.

"You knew about this!" she accuses Itachi.

He keeps his face skyward. "It's my job to know these things."

The entire ordeal lasts for about five minutes. When the dust clears, crevasse marks where the wall used to be, the only thing separating the place and the people. Larger rock chuckles stick out of it at various points. Sakura follows the trail to the only remaining structure: the compound gate. A true testament to her sensei's skill and prowess. Several inches of wall jaggedly protrude from either side of the pillars keeping the doors upright. Above it, the Uchiha crest marks the entrance of what is no longer a compound but the new Uchiha Cultural District. No longer a symbol of death for power but of possibilities and preservation.

It's almost too beautiful for words.

"You're happy." Itachi's voice reverbs against her ear.

Sakura bites the inside of her cheek. "I guess so. I'm hopeful as well, you know. Everything Kakashi said and all the stuff we've seen and gone through for years. We never thought people could change their minds. But look." She gestures all around them. "They're all cheering for us. It's such a relief. Like the last few pieces of an intricate puzzle are finally coming together."

Sakura pauses, curiously observing Itachi gaze at the shinobi secure the area and remove any hazards.

"What about you?" she questions and dutifully warns him. "Be honest."

Itachi blinks slowly, and she assumes he frowns. It is such a momentary change in expression that Sakura could have imagined it.

"Why would I lied?" he challenges.

Why would he lie? Itachi isn't one to fib for himself. She knows that. But she also knows he's not one to readily divulge information. Or to impose.

"Because," she declares with a knowing smirk. "You'd rather deal with things yourself than to see me worry about you."

"You do that already, there's no point in fighting a losing battle."

Sakura pokes him and pouts. "You're stalling."

"You're right," Itachi counters, and Sakura manages to get a semblance of a smile out of him. But it follows a sigh and flexing of his jaw. Then he's back to staring impassively at the Uchiha District.

"What do you want me to say? I watch the walls of my home crumble to nothing. There are not many sentiments to select from in that instance."

"Which one did you choose? One of them? All of them? Are sad? Angry?"

"I'm not angry," Itachi interjects.

Sakura encourages him to keep going. "Are you sad then?"

Itachi takes his time with words. But his eyes vary in size, from slightly wide to aimlessly drifting about, assessing things. Finally, a resignation that idles the ground and makes him frown.

"I am," Itachi admits. "Just not as much as you would expect."

Before she can ask him to elaborate, Weasel interrupts with directions on how to get around the pressing crowd. They take a long way around. Sakura lets Itachi guide them as they cut through the field near the large lake and then back around to the grand opening of several businesses.

Red and white lanterns hang from every awning flanking the path, leading the way back to the main festival street. Sakura keeps her hand secured in Itachi's hold as they stop to sample the food on display.

"It's okonomiyaki balls," one vender explains. "It takes all of the goodness and compacts into something smaller for on the go."

Sakura is all too happy to give it a go. Itachi has to talk the man into letting them pay for the meal. It doesn't work in the end, as the vendor insists on giving it to them for free to honor Itachi's generosity.

It's the same story at the bakery and the small jewelry stand.

"Please, Uchiha-san," the woman blushes and bows, "You are a patron customer for giving our little business a chance."

Itachi quietly laments, setting his features in a way that shows his exasperation. Sakura stiffs a chuckle, secretly patting his arm and stepping forward to convince the woman otherwise.

"Maybe we can give a donation?" she suggests, "To show our continued support for your shop."

"This building is a donation enough! It's right at the entrance too. People will have to pass through this way. That guarantees a profit. Besides, we made these pieces specifically for you, Uchiha-san. Take it! We humbly insist."

"For us?"

"Hand-crafted," the seller ensures, "We've been working on it for several weeks now."

"Oh…"

Even Sakura finds it hard to turn down her bubbling enthusiasm. The objects in question are two necklaces bearing the Uchiha crest. Sakura may not know much about gemstones, but the glistening red and opaque white stone screams expensive.

They take it. With careful maneuvering on Itachi's part, they avoid other people presenting them with free stuff. Back on the main path, the lanterns change from red and white to red and gold that weave and cross, dangling precariously from a web of gold strings. As dusk settles into the night, the lanterns dance with a cooling wind. Itachi bypasses the competitive games and goldfish ponds, making promises to return to owners that try to call them over.

"I'm in the mood for something sweet," Itachi mutters.

Sakura makes a face and then rolls her eyes because she can guess where he's taking her too. "You already know what Daichi's festival dango tastes like."

Itachi remains wholly unfazed. "I fail to see the point in that statement."

"Festivals are for trying new things."

"It is a new recipe."

"Yeah, for literally everyone else. You were the first person to taste them." Sakura accuses.

Itachi, however, only smiles. A soft smile, one that rarely shows on his face and can disarm her even from jokingly teasing him. She looks away, huffing for lack of better words. Dango makes him happy. Daichi's dango specifically seems to put Itachi in a good mood all the time. Considering all of the sidelong glances and gracious offers are thrown their way, Sakura reasons they need to find something familiar.

Daichi is too willing to oblige, waving them down once they spot her family's booth.

"We've been waiting," she says, "I'll cook you up a fresh batch right now!"

She gives them warm green tea in the meantime. Itachi offers Sakura the one stool next to the booth, which she takes gratefully. She uses the tea to warm her fingers and the short reprise to give her feet a break. It's been a while since she's worn anything but her usual heels, and she finds the change problematic to walk in. Especially in her current dress, which restricts a lot of her steps. Sakura sighs happily, sliding her feet out of her zori as much as possible without being seen.

Itachi grabs the tray of dango from Daichi when they are done. Sakura reaches up to grab the goods Itachi's handing down when a noise that sounds suspiciously like their names catches their attention. She groans, sitting with the tray of dango on her lap. They just sat.

This is beginning to be overwhelming…

"Hiashi-sama?" Itachi says in disbelief. "Is he coming here?"

"Hiashi-sama? As in, Hyuuga Hiashi?" Sakura asks, having most of her view blocked by him standing over her.

"Yes. Him, Hinata, and Boruto, to be exact."

Sakura blinks and leans over, trying to see for herself. Sure enough, Hinata's father walks a short distance behind her but definitely in the same direction. This could either be really good or really bad.

"Greet Hinata for me," Itachi instructs her, handing over his precious dango to meet Hiashi-sama a step before he makes it to them.

Sakura scrambles to put her shoes on and hold all of their stuff. "Wait…!"

She leaves the tea and food on the seat and catches Boruto before he can get too far away from his mom.

"Woah there," she teases, snatching the young boy up and holding him in her arms. "Not so fast, little guy."

Hinata smiles gratefully and breathlessly. "Thank you, Sakura. He's started walking, and it seems like he never stops."

Sakura gives her catch a tiny tickle. Boruto chuckles while trying to stay away from her fingers. "No problem. Where's Naruto?"

"Getting us some food," Hinata explains. "Father wanted a word with Itachi-san, and I asked to come."

Sakura can see that, eyeing the two men exchanging a bowed greeting.

"What kind of word?"

"Oh," Hinata's face reddens, "It's nothing bad, Sakura. He wants to congratulate him formally. My father is extremely traditional about Clan to Clan matters. He'll appear serious, but he's very excited about the district's development."

Sakura observes her husband again. It doesn't seem to be a hostile meeting. Hiashi's giving off the same intimidating air as he always does. Itachi counters it with his veneer of calm. She may not know all of the nuances of clan culture, but she knows Itachi. His demeanor settles Sakura's heckles to step in and mediate the matter. I'm sure Itachi knows what he's doing.

Their meeting lasts a few minutes before both men join them. Boruto's restlessness drags them away from dango. Not before Itachi orders more for their growing group.

"Perhaps a walk around the festivity is in order," Hiashi-sama suggests.

They get as far as Boruto's fleeting attention lets them. Blue eyes wander to the lights and ribbons, then to doting people, and finally to impressive prizes decorating the shelves of the festival games.

"Do you want to stop here, Boruto?" Itachi asks.

The boy nods with enthusiasm. When Itachi looks to her for approval, she finds it hard to hold his gaze.

"If Hinata is okay with it," Sakura concedes.

Hinata wearily eyes her son, while Boruto bounces with too much energy. The pregnant woman sighs. Itachi beams. Boruto knows his mother's face. As soon as she waves them off, the little boy catches Itachi's thumbs in a stranglehold of his tiny fist.

"Alright, which game do you want to play?" Itachi asks.

Sakura assumes he'll go for the most outlandish one, too big for someone his size. But no. Boruto eyes a humble little goldfish scooping stand, a sharp contrast from the more competitive stalls.

Boruto points at it. "...Can I try that?"

"All You Can Catch Until your Poi Net Breaks," Itachi reads the game description aloud, then watches the stand owner whose face is covered in an hyottoko mask. "I suppose your parents will be okay with a few extra mouths to feed…?"

Hinata laughs, leaving her a little winded. "He can play. I think I will wait here for Naruto."

Showing genuine concern, Hiashi gets a little lower to be eye to eye with Hinata. "Are you in any pain, daughter? Should I find one of the doctors?"

"No, no, nothing like that. I only mean I need to take a longer break before moving again."

"Itachi can take Boruto," Sakura offers, "I'm sure he wouldn't mind entertaining the whims of a little boy for the next twenty minutes or so."

"Only if it's no trouble," Hinata states.

"It's no trouble," Itachi assures and digs into his sleeve to retrieve coins for the game. The boy takes it and Itachi drags him along to be his guide for the game. Sakura stays back with Hinata and Hiashi, finding several stools nearby. Both she and Hiashi help Hinata get settled, which she graciously accepts along with a cup of water.

"With the baby, I've been having a hard time staying hydrated," she admits, "The doctors insist on more and more water, but I can't do it."

Sakura has lingering thoughts about Hinata's doctors and their insistence on keeping her away. While she has the chance, she gives Hinata a soothing little chakra massage with her spare hand. Using it to inspect what little she can from the woman's back, healing minor sore spots. Judging from the contented sighs, Hinata's enjoying the relief.

Sakura smiles, happy to help in such a small way. "How far along are you now?"

"Well into seven months. This baby is a lot bigger than Boruto was. I've gained more weight too."

"Are you hoping for another boy?"

"I don't have a preference. I'm just happy to carry this child and give Boruto a sibling. Naruto would like a daughter though."

"Naruto?" Sakura asks, surprised at the knowledge. "I never pictured him as a girl dad."

"Oh he does," Hinata gushes, "He's very taken with the idea of having a daughter that takes after his mother, red hair and all."

"Not after you?"

"That would be his second choice."

They both laugh together. Sakura keeps her smile until Hinata interjects a wholly unexpected opinion.

"I can picture Itachi-san as a girl dad. He seems like he would be gentle."

Sakura almost chokes, reddening at the words. "I suppose so."

She watches Itachi get down on the ground in all his finery to be at Boruto's level and help him catch fish. Laying a hand over the much smaller one, Itachi gingerly lowers the poi in the water, smoothly following the fish. Rather than chase after any fleeing fish, Itachi keeps the poi still in the waters.

He coaches Boruto through the process. Laughing at the young boy's exclamation when it does not work the first time. Soothing his wounded pride and reassuring him to try again. He rolls up his sleeves and gets one hand just as wet while the other rests confidently against the boy's back.

"I got one! I did it!"

Itachi's delight is just as palpable as Boruto's excitement. Deep, wise eyes spark with pride as if the achievement is both of theirs.

Sakura sees what Hinata sees, and every other woman casts covert glances at her husband. She sees it now.

When Boruto waves his new pets around in their clear plastic bags, Sakura gets caught up in the thrill, clapping when Bourto brags, then offering food as a reward for catching more.

"I think both of you earned yourselves a special treat from my friend Minami…"

Now Itachi's staring at her with the same dazed amazement Boruto held just moments ago.

"Don't just stand there or I'll change my mind!" she threatens with no force, leaving Hinata's statement unanswered.

That's where Naruto finds them, eating their second cup of pudding fruit desserts with a bag of four small little fish. Minami is all too happy to have more customers. Itachi brags about her shop, inciting genuine curiosity from the rest of the crowd. When Ino and Sai join them, Boruto and Shikadai ensure they don't stay still for too long.

After two more game stations, several stops for food, and the promise of fireworks, Sakura's zori reminds her that she's more used to her shinobi heels than traditional footwear. Itachi offers her his arm when Sakura stumbles slightly on her feet. Naruto suggests they watch the fireworks from the Hokage Monument. She thinks she hides her pain well. A second misstep has Itachi discreetly pulling her away from their growing group.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

Initially, she thinks to brush off his concern and a small pinch sends tingling shocks in her foot. She hisses, lifting her hem to get a better look. Itachi gets down to inspect for himself. Judging by the way he smacks his teeth, her foot must look as painful as it feels.

"You're bleeding."

Sakura blinks in surprise. "Am I?"

Itachi taps the spot where the sandal separates her big toe from the others.

She winces. "Ouch. Ouch!"

"We should go home," Itachi declares.

"What about the others…?"

He eases the hem of her kimono down, then stands to face her. "They will be fine. You may not be, and that concerns me more."

She laughs dismissively. "I'll just go change and heal this on the way. You don't have to leave the festival because I have a bit of brush burn."

"You'd walk all the way home on two sore feet to keep the rest of us satisfied?"

His snark leaves her somewhat lost for words. Sakura guilty shifts her weight. "...you haven't seen the fireworks yet. I think they would be beautiful from the Hokage Monument."

Itachi takes a long time to consider her words. His answering reply is to turn around and offer his back.

Sakura quickly tries to stop him from picking her up. "You don't have to carry me."

"Is that the same thing you said when Shikamaru carried you into the festival?" he counters.

"As a matter of fact, yes, it is."

Her partner wiggles his fingers impatiently. "He carried you regardless. You let him do it."

"Itachi are you… offended that I don't want you to carry me?"

He dodges the question. "We'll miss the fireworks if you don't hurry."

"I'm only agreeing because I don't want to miss them," Sakura declares, inching closer.

Her mind changes when Itachi's hands wrap around the back of her thighs. Sakura grabs his shoulders when he hoists her up, then hides her face in his hair when they exit the alley. Highly embarrassed, she doesn't stop hiding until the wind catches her hair. Itachi jumps from one building to the next, barely jousting her in the process. Sakura relaxes a little, loosening her death grip and leaning into him.

The view of the fireworks is the third most spectacular thing of the night. The first is watching years of mistrust and resentment come crashing down, creating something new and beautiful. The second? Feeling Itachi's pulse beneath her hands as a rainbow of reds, greens, and yellows explode above them. Just as erratic as the bursts of fireworks hidden behind the calmest veneer. Itachi tilts his head up, watching the sky, lips slightly parted, and eyes wide open, full of something that makes her hold onto him tighter.

---

Itachi waits until he knows Sakura's fully asleep, then leaves the house in the late hours of the night. He considers explaining to her where he's going, but he knows it will make very little difference in the grander scheme. Sakura will worry whether he stays home or comes here. She was right in guessing that he doesn't want to diminish her spark worrying over his troubles. Even more, Itachi has yet to reveal how, where, and why Shisui died.

So he leaves knowing she will wonder about his whereabouts but rightly conclude that he needs space. It is true enough that he's content with chasing his answers in the one place he can hear everything and nothing.

The mind has a weird quirk of drawing parallels and making connections to tiny threads. When things seem hard with no clear answer, Itachi only thinks of the waterfall. Perhaps because he and his friend often had those hard conversations here. Or because of its air of secrecy and seclusion.

The Uchiha meanders through high trees in a thick forest right at the edge of the village. It's so dark that moonlight barely gets through. But Itachi's walked this route many times. Most Uchiha knows the way. He's the last holder of this forest's secrets. Just as much as this place holds some of his dearest regrets. The place where the rush of water drowns out any other sound in the area.

At cliffs between an impasse, this particular formation of nature is imposing, godlike in how it takes over the stretch of the hillside. Yet, despite the loud crashing against rocks and the river below, the waterfall peacefully cascades into the stream below, then floats lazily towards the ocean.

Itachi's been here many times, and his level of awe has yet to diminish. The juxtaposition of calm and wild, still and rushing waters dancing together, gracious enough to drown his thoughts.

Itachi takes a seat on the ledge, using his chakra to keep him from being blown into the abyss. He props one leg up and drapes his arm across his knee while the other balances him in the grass. He closes his eyes. He takes a breath, filling his lungs with the revitalizing wind of nature. Immediately his mind clears. He sinks into his seat, descending almost instantly into a meditative state.

Flecks of water stroke his bare arms, thicker in weight than before, resting on him like a fog cloud.

That was quick.

Itachi dismisses the goosebumps, keeping his eyes shut, body relaxed and calm. He came here to clear his mind, not to further cloud it. So he slows his inhales, ignores the subtle touch against his neck, and forces his attention inward.

"We can play this let's pretend the other isn't here game for as long as you want."

The makings of a frown tug at the crux of his lips.

"You are not real," he replies to the voice in the fog.

"Yeah? Is that why you're too afraid to open your eyes?" Izumi teases him and leans against his back.

Seconds later, another brush slowly draws his eyes open. From his peripheral, the outline of a shinobi stands next to him. Hand, arm, legs, and torso. He knows if he turns his head, it will go away. Itachi shifts his eyes forward and sighs.

Now both of them want to show up?

"Get out of your head for a minute will you?" Shisui demands this time.

Itachi almost smirks, relaxing more into his position now that Izumi props him up and Shisui stands at his side. The irony of Shisui's words is almost laughable. Despite the physical manifestation, Itachi is well aware that he is the only one here.

"If I did that, you would disappear." Itachi casually responds.

Shisui laughs, and the foggy phantom sits down next to him. "What? You admit that you summoned us here with your gloomy gaze. Mind if I sit?"

"Izumi didn't ask. Why should you?"

Shisui is already sitting. There is no point to the question. But Itachi hardly counts seeing his dead friend, whose body made its rest in these waters, reality. Why be surprised at nonsensical questions, or statements for that matter?

Itachi lowers his gaze to the base of the falls. "I was not expecting both of you. Izumi made it seem as if I wouldn't need you anymore."

"Those were his words," Izumi sternly corrects. "I wanted to be with you every step of the way. But Shisui made me leave."

"Which you disregarded anyway," Shisui condemns. "I was right. You're doing fine on your own. Which begs the question, "Why are you here, Itachi?"

The question has many answers.

"I have a lot of things to think through. I can't find answers," Itachi says slowly, carefully, as if the words weren't quite right but also not wrong. "I've lost one home and found another. I'm shrouded in the sadness of the past and expectations for the future in equal measure. They both pull me in different directions. I don't know what to do."

"You're stuck between moving forward or staying still," Izumi adds. "But time isn't standing still for you, Itachi. Eventually, the walls would fall, whether by nature, war, or whatever. The Compound wouldn't have lasted forever. You knew that."

While Izumi takes the gentle approach, Shisui isn't as nice. "Are you going to go through this cycle with every choice you make?"

"It's not just the choices," Itachi defends himself, finding strength when Izumi lays her hand on top of his. "The walls fell, and I'm…"

"Not falling to pieces?" Shisui finishes. "Not drowning in misery?"

Itachi frowns fully and challenges the idea. "Can ghosts see into the soul of a man?"

"We are souls ourselves. It stands to reason that we would be able to see the souls of others."

Itachi smacks his teeth at Shisui's sarcasm. "You don't understand."

"What's wrong?" Izumi beseeches him, much softer than Shisui. "We came because you called. We want to help you."

"If I had the answer to that question, Izumi, I wouldn't be here. I feel as lost as you do."

"More like you lost something," Shisui edges closer. "Wanna know what you lost?"

Itachi flexes his propped fingers in a show of indifference. "Say what you want to say."

"Sound a little excited about it, will ya!" Shisui pouts. " That's your problem. You've lost your childishness."

Izumi bursts into laughter. Itachi outright snorts, glancing obliquely at his friend as if he talks nonsense.

"I've never been childish."

"Childhood, then. Pick one. I don't care which."

"Those are not the same."

He feels more than sees Shisui cross his arms. "You've lost what children have and often carry with them into adulthood: the ability to be selfish."

Now Itachi knows this ghost is off. Black eyes narrow further, heavy with skepticism and doubt. I've summoned him for nothing.

"Ugh! Didn't I tell you to get out of your head? Are you listening to me, Itachi?"

"I hear you," Itachi answers. "But your words make no sense. Childishness. Selfishness. Losing these things is a great virtue. You say it as if I need them. You're annoyed that I'm ignoring irrational logic from a dead man?"

"Yes. Because you're not listening. You're analyzing, subjecting my advice to an invisible standard. That's your problem, your reasoning. How many masks are you gonna put on for reason's sake? How long are you gonna ignore your needs because logic demands a sacrifice?"

A chill draws goosebumps and makes him shiver. Itachi balls his free hand into a fist. He gazes silently ahead for a long while, thinking.

How long? What else is there than logic and duty? I am obliged by who I am.

"Are you still afraid, Itachi?" Izumi hedges.

"I don't know," Itachi answers immediately, furrowing his brows at the truth. "There are things I think should be that aren't."

Shisui leans back on his elbows, legs outstretched before him. "That's a lot of 'things' and 'thoughts' and 'this's' and 'that's'. If I were you, I'd be freaking confused too."

"I am lost , Shisui."

His friend sighs tiredly. "Lost something."

"Then help me!" Itachi challenges, "I don't know how to get these things back. I don't know why I need them at all. Childishness. Selfishness. How are they supposed to help me?"

Shisui huffs in equal frustration. "How did you turn out to be so dense? I swear I raised you better. Use that damn genius brain of yours. The thing you keep getting confused by is your own heart. Not because you don't know but because you do. You know exactly what the 'things', 'this', and 'that', are. The problem is, you constantly fight against it as if it's wrong because it's selfish. Duty isn't everything. What do you want, Itachi?"

"I don't want anything."

"Oh? " Shisui challenges, "And we're here because of a whim?"

"Don't be mean to him, Shisui," Izumi jumps in. "He needs us."

"He doesn't," Shisui disagrees. "He needs to honestly listen and stop trying to answer a call that no one is sending out."

Itachi inwardly groans, closing his eyes to tune out both voices. What does he want? Why does it matter? His wants have no place in the grander scheme of things. Getting hung up on one's desires usually leads to unpleasant ends. Itachi has seen the effects of selfishness and self-preservation. It is the reason his clan no longer exists. Selfishness only leads to destruction.

"I want what is best for the village."

"That was…very pragmatic," Izumi speaks up first, leaning her head against his shoulder so her voice is close to his ear. "I think what Shisui is trying to ask you is what do you think is best for your heart?"

Itachi twitches. "That does not matter."

Shisui throws his hands up. "You may be the first human in history who lacks empathy for themselves. Do you want my help? Stop ignoring your soul. What do you want, Itachi? Indulge in selfishness just for the moment. If it helps, no one's here to see or hear you say the things you want. Just try."

The Uchiha teeters mentally. The challenge is met immediately with a flood of long-held desires. The rush of emotions would have floored him if he had not already been sitting and Izumi hadn't held him tighter. He ducks his head, feeling all, wanting everything.

He grits his teeth, fighting to hold on, fighting to let go.

"I can't have those things."

"Why not?" Shisui questions.

"Any decision I make seems like an insult!" Itachi raises his voice, squeezing his eyes shut to stop his troubles from coming out in tears. "If I hold onto the memories, then I insult the life I have now. If I let them go, does that make you all meaningless to me? Forgiving and forgetting are easy when death is imminent. The longer I am alive, the more I wish I hadn't killed my family. What about Konoha, then? What about the pride of a shinobi, knowing I protected generations?"

When the final words fall, Itachi curls in on himself, unable to hold back. He grabs the side of his face as his eyes water.

"I want so much," he whispers to the wind. "And I can have none."

"Why would you say that?" Izumi questions. She moves from her seated position to wrap him in her arms. "Why do you think you can't have all those things?"

"You are dead," Itachi says plainly. "Shisui is dead. Sasuke is dead. Okasan and Tousan. My aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends. I want the past. I want to forget the past. I want a future with all of you in it. That future doesn't exist. Yet, I still want to live."

"Yes, that's true. That's all true. What's stopping you from remembering us? Do you think you can't hold us in your heart while also rebuilding the Clan? Are those dreams so different?"

Itachi shrugs. "Chasing after one will leave the other behind."

Shisui sits up a bit straighter. "Is all this because you saw the walls come down, and it didn't destroy you like you thought it would?"

Itachi shrugs again, uncertain.

"Did it ever occur to you why you weren't sad? Think, Itachi. What changed?" Shisui dares.

"Everything changed."

"No, no, no," Shisui warns, "Don't give me that generic crap. Really think. What's different now?"

Itachi clenches his jaw, chest tightening slightly. From aggravation at the nonchalant way, Shisui replies, or fear of uncovering the truth, Itachi isn't sure. He glares at the base of the falls, wishing he could look at his friend directly and do the deed.

What changed?

It's automatic and without effort. Itachi sees Sakura's face, blissful and in awe as the walls came down. Her elation shone brighter than the sun. She was so excited. So hopeful that, for that moment, Itachi believed that the future was his too. His walls would come down, and he could take steps forward.

And that scared him. Where would his hopes lead? Once he was there, who would he have to leave behind? Was he strong enough to do it alone? Without her?

"Itachi," Shisui's voice pulls him from his reverie, but Itachi silences it with a shake of his head.

"I know," he admits. "I know what it is. I can't burden Sakura anymore than I already have."

Much to his surprise, the mist lifts lightly, playfully Shisui inquires, "Did you ask?"

"There would be no point in purs-"

Izumi pointedly cuts him off, "Did you ask? You started this whole thing by saying you lost one home and found another. You found another one."

"That's not my place to take," Itachi reminds them and himself. "Sakura was never supposed to be that for me. That place is meant for my brother. I vowed to give her all the happiness that I took away. I can't go back on that to chase my own."

"Logic. Logic. Always with logic," Shisui waves his hand, dismissing Itachi's reasoning. "You'll talk your way out of anything. If Sakura's heart was so full of Sasuke, how could you have possibly found a home in it?"

Itachi opens his mouth, then closes it again, deflated. The tightness returns, raw and burning. He exhales to rid the sense of heaviness, but it doesn't give. Closing his eyes, Itachi faces a much more devastating reality. In a lowly voice, he addresses the more genuine problem that Shisui so wittingly unveiled.

"Maybe I've deceived my way inside?" he mutters to himself, staring into the abyss. "Sakura is kind. She can only hold grudges for so long before her compassion takes over. I've sorted through a lot of things trying to find balance in this life. It's true. I do miss all of you. It's hard to watch the remnants of my life slip away for a second time. Sakura sees that and wants to help as she does with so many others."

"She's that gullible?" Izumi asks. "Better yet, do you believe you're that cold?"

"I've already admitted wanting something that should belong to someone else."

"You'll let a ghost outcourt your choice?" Shisui dares.

"She was not chosen. I was preparing Sakura as a go-between, not the object of my affection."

Shisui laughs outright and nudges him with a misty cloud. "You may not have prepared her for that, but people stumble into these things all the time. If not to the level of courtship, add her to the list of your important people. It just so happens that she's the only one of us that's alive. Do you think Sasuke would hate you for taking her away? Do you think your parents would say, 'No, Itachi? You aren't allowed to chase happiness?' Or did you forget that you vowed to rebuild your clan when the Hokage asked you to? It was okay when it was a mission but not okay when it was a desire of your own? Didn't you want to find someone on your terms? Someone who you could learn to love? Someone important?"

Did he want to rebuild his Clan with Sakura? Could he learn to love her? Did he covet these things and neglect them for the mission's sake?

"You say these things as if they are definite and if Sakura has made a decision."

Much to his annoyance, Shisui smirks. "You still haven't asked ."

"We'll always be a part of you, Itachi," Izumi adds. "You are our clan now. I think you know that or are slowly realizing it. In case you haven't, let me make it very clear. You have space in your heart for both. The past and the future. You don't have to choose. Whatever becomes of the Uchiha will be because of you. How do you want to continue our story? Does it stop with a plot to overthrow Konoha? With the bravest of us making the ultimate sacrifice? With regrets? Or with revival?"

Itachi lets her word sink in, even Shisui's cheeky jabs. It's not that his answers are any more definite. But Itachi does feel weight lifting, the guilty of slowly moving past years' worth of bottled-up pain.

He can't say with certainty that he won't be sad the minute his feet touch the scorched earth where the walls stood. There are no promises that he won't cry when opening the doors to his parent's room. There's a high chance he will have all those things.

But what Izumi says is true. What happens what the Uchiha now is up to me.

Itachi sits with that truth and his ghost until the morning sky turns pink and blue. Then he sneaks back inside before Sakura wakes up and notices he's been missing for hours. He changes his wet clothes to something more appropriate for a mindless task. Quietly, he goes to the closet near the back door to grab his garden tools.

Itachi tends to his small patch of greenery, knowing he won't be able to in a few days. It's the type of hands-on work that isn't too taxing. It gets all his muscles involves, lifting mulch, removing debris, and trimming stray branches. It's also the type of work that requires little thought. Itachi's worn himself out with thinking all night long. Instead, he removes the remains of crocus flowers and winter weeds. He waters patches where new buds will bloom in the coming weeks.

After treating his home garden, he packs several buckets and prepares them for transport. He leaves a note for Sakura's sake and takes his garden tools to the Konoha Cemetery.

The sun beats him there, peaking through leaves of evergreen trees, trailing behind him as he shuttles water back and forth into the Uchiha section. He fills about four buckets in total, then pours the water into his watering pot. Itachi starts with the grave closest to him, managing the flowers he planted months ago, and removing any unwanted growth before watering the ground. The water cleans and nourishes, removing any tiny bits he may have missed while giving the earth what it needs to survive.

When it's done, Itachi wipes excess dirt and grime from the gravestone that gathered over winter months. Then he says the prayers, bowing before his brethren and informing them of what became of their home.

He gets down on the ground, hands on his knees in a somewhat submissive position.

"The walls are down," he tells them, "Kakashi was careful to preserve the integrity of the gate with our crest on it. I'm…grateful for his efforts…"

Itachi pauses when his breath becomes uneven. He grabs his knees, closing his eyes to focus on the sensations around him. The earth under his legs, wind gathering under his clothes. The smell of freshly manipulate grass.

Behind his eyes, Itachi sees the spectacle from last night. Watching the final piece of his past fall away for good. As a child, he hated that wall. He hated the way the Uchiha were kept apart. There were plenty of unanswered questions from people disinclined to talk, let alone to a child. But Itachi heard whispers and saw the glances of the Elders whenever an Uchiha roamed the streets. They weren't trusted, maybe even feared. All young Itachi wanted was to keep his family whole and his village safe. Those walls stood as a reminder that Konaha would rather keep his clan contained than cooperate.

But Itachi has fond memories of that place. Scaling the walls with Shisui, running along the edges while aunties and uncles yelled at them to get down. Watching Sasuke walk home. Spying Izumi leaving her cousin's store. Getting freshly made dango and anko buns on the way home from the Academy. Watering the gardens with his mother. Holding Izumi's hand for the first time that night they climbed the wall together. Training with his father by the lake. Watching the stars from the porch with his parents. Carrying his mother's freshly baked goods to neighbors and friends. Ferrying messages to his father from the Uchiha leaders.

So much of his life happened inside those walls. Experiences and moments he will never have again. He shutters at the thought, anchored by sadness but sprinkled with peculiar expectancy.

Itachi doesn't cry this time. Tears gather at the corners of his eyes and stay there. He sniffs and sighs, holding his hands together in a prayer position.

"Find rest now, brother," Itachi says. "I will do what I can for us here. Guide me with wisdom until we meet on the other side again."

Itachi does the same to the next grave and the one after that until it's well past noon. He leaves his parents and Sasuke for last, coming to the row where Izumi's grave lays. Itachi stands over her in silence.

I know you've forgiven me already, Izumi. That doesn't make the guilt disappear. I wish I could have given you much more than a genjutsu. Thank you for permitting me to let go.

Carefully, he tends to her grave while lingering in imagination and memories. He considers adding orange blossoms to her grave. A small token for sure, but a show of his affection for her nonetheless.

When he gets to his parent's grave, the tears return. This time they fall, several droplets as he makes his promises to them. Kakashi finds him brushing dust from his father's headstone after saying the prayers.

The Hokage keeps his distance and back to the scene out of respect."Sakura told me I might find you here this morning. I waited for as long as I could."

Itachi stands to greet him, surprised to find a bag dangling from his wrist. Kakashi must have spotted his staring because he raises his arm to show off the contents.

"I was also asked to give you this. Although, I suspect whatever's in here may be cold by now."

Itachi takes the parcel without a word, opening it to see what's inside. There's the blanket Sakura often uses when reading on the sofa and a canister that's still warm to the touch, probably filled with his favorite tea.

Itachi ties the bag, holding it close to his side before addressing Kakashi. "Is there something you needed me for, Hokage-sama?"

"Just a mission update," Kakashi informs him, reaching into the pocket of his utility vest. "Gaara informed the other Kage's of updates to your mission. We added two days to get you prepared. Your new departure date is in three days. You'll need to get a physical done in that time. Though, I suspect you may not have any trouble in that department."

"Would I need to meet with Tsunade-sama as well?"

"Not as far as I'm aware," the Hokage hands him a sealed envelope with Suna's emblem pressed into the seal. "She was the one who approved of the extension. My guess is, she thinks that will be sufficient time for Sakura to tie any loose ends."

"Sakura?" Itachi questions.

The Hokage nods. "Well, yes. She's been spending most of her time with you these last few weeks. She hasn't been in her lab or at the hospital. I'm not abreast of the particulars of what medics do. But I can wage a guess that getting months' worth of medication ready may take some time."

"I'm assuming you spoke to her about that already?" Itachi asks and moves away from his parents' grave to sit the packed bag next to his gardening utensils.

Kakashi agrees. "She's at the lab as we speak."

That explains her current disposition. He watches Sasuke's grave for several seconds, discerning as much of Sakura's chakra as he can. Subdued. Focused. Calm. Itachi gives time to listen, and a bemused grin gradually grows on his face. Sakura's so different when she's dealing with medicine. Not the chaotic whirlwind of emotions he's come to associate with her these past weeks. Although, to be fair, so much happened that could cause someone to be internally compromised. Whatever she's doing now, there's no uncertainty or hesitation. Sakura knows this very well and is quite confident in herself.

"I think she enjoys the change of pace," Itachi remarks, oddly warmed at the realization that his partner doesn't have outside forces muddling her thoughts.

"Oh? How do you suppose?"

"A feeling," Itachi answers honestly, okay with leaving the Hokage somewhat puzzled at his mood change.

They linger together in the grave site for a minute or two before Kakashi gives him space. Itachi goes back to tending Sasuke's grave. He reserves a dry spot to sit with his back to his brother.

Itachi carefully unpacks the bag Sakura prepared for him. He doesn't need the blanket but wraps himself in it anyway. The tea cooled considerably. He drinks it regardless, savoring the taste while leaning against his brother for support.

"I'll be leaving soon, Sasuke," Itachi speaks to the air. "This will be my last visit for a short while."

Pausing, he thinks of his conversation with Izumi and Shisui. How could I bring this to him now?

He leans his head back with guilt. "Sasuke, I should also say that I'm sorry. I've made many promises to you that I haven't kept. Would you believe me if I told you this one was not what I planned?"

He chuckles humorlessly. "I only meant to give what I took. In the process, I may have given too much of myself. And I–,"

Itachi stops himself, sensing a change in Sakura's mood. He gives his attention to her chakra, then bolts upright as it grows stronger. Is she here?

Before he can wrap his mind around her train of thought, or the latency at which their connection alerts him, the genjutsu wavers in places. Sakura's heels click along the walking path. She maneuvers gracefully between the graves, surveying his morning's work. The sway of her lab coat shows off peeks of red from her traditional attire and adds just enough color and life to the cemetery to not be offensive.

A strange and familiar pull settles in the pit of his stomach. Itachi ducks his head, suddenly discomforted by his confusion. Should he stand? Should he greet her? Apologize for leaving so early in the morning. Thank her for the blanket he doesn't need but uses because she took time to pack it for him.

She stops in front of him, Itachi keeps eye contact with her ankles and the small bandage on two of her toes. He remembers carrying her up the Hokage Monument. The way she held tight to him and how fast his heart beat at the sheer elation wrapped around them.

"Hey," she greets him, shifting her weight somewhat self-consciously.

"You didn't heal those," he points out, grabbing at something so simple, easy to talk through.

"Huh?" she lifts her heels, and Itachi lifts his eyes to watch the inquisitive expression on her face. "Oh, yeah that. Well…I figured it could heal on its own."

"They may leave scars."

She brushes it off. "Not all scars are bad scars."

Sakura's smile is light though her chakra seems to bounce between two moods. Itachi nods for lack of a better response. Why would she want to have brush burn scars on her toes, he has no idea. Maybe the scars will be small. If it scars at all. If it did though, they would be visible to anyone paying attention to her feet.

But he lets it go because, between those moods, Sakura seems happy about it. Itachi realizes that the muddled confusion he keeps sensing is mostly from him, not her. He doesn't know what to feel just watching her stand over him. Itachi shifts prepared to fix at least one thing.

"You don't have to get up," she extends her hand to keep him still, then reveals yet another bag from behind her back. "I figured you'd still be here so I brought you something to eat. It's not as cold as I thought it would be today. Curry was a good option. There's also some croquettes in there and a castella cake."

She holds out her hand and Itachi hesitates, then leans forward to take it from her hands, careful not to touch her.

"Thank you," he responds. "Also for the tea and blanket."

Her soft smile turns bright. She takes in his current position, glancing at Sasuke over his shoulder. "Did Kakashi tell you where I was?"

Itachi nods. "You've been at the hospital all day."

"I might be there all night," Sakura admits. "There's a lot of things I need to catch up on, and then get some things ready for your mission."

"Should I wait to make you dinner?" he offers

"No, it's okay." Sakura glances at Sasuke again and then back to him. "You've got a lot to do before your mission too. Don't wait up for me. I'll grab something to eat on the way home."

"I don't mind," Itachi says and, honestly, he wants to. "I'll be out for a while today. I can grab some things."

Sakura's chakra flickers a little. He realizes she's probably holding back for his sake.

"Alright," she tells him, then awkwardly clears her throat. "Only if you don't mind."

"I don't mind. I do have a favor to ask if that's something you can do."

"Depends on the favor."

"If possible, I want to see Kai before I leave. I hoped to see him at the festival and ask if he wanted another sparring session not attached to his medical condition."

Sakura's enthusiasm gives her aura new light, vibrant and dazzling. It's nearly infectious. Itachi's the only person caught in the crossfires. It sweeps over him, almost as enchanting as the way her eyes twinkle, and she squeals with joy.

"Oh my God, Itachi, he's going to love that! I can swing by his house on the way back to the house. Actually," Sakura checks the watch on her wrist, "I think his mom should be home now. I'll check and then let you know when I get home, okay?"

Itachi nods in understanding and Sakura leaves with a spin in her heels and a pep in her step. He didn't think she'd be so excited about a whim gesture. That somehow makes him feel proud. He smiles to himself, watching her walk away in a small hurry. Only when she exits does he start to eat his curry.

In the back of his mind, Sakura's mood makes it hard to feel somber. Sakura's been so careful with him lately that he's honestly glad she can still express the much lighter side of her personality.

When he's done, Itachi cleans his garden tools. With one final farewell to his brother, Itachi gathers his tools and returns home. He goes through the motions of cleaning himself up. He has to meet Shikamaru one final time before his mission. Itachi finds he moves more freely while dressing to go to the Uchiha District.

The switch clicks on, and everything he felt in the Cemetery this morning gets boxed up and stored by late evening. Shikamaru's already at what remains of the gate. Itachi flexes his fingers inside of his cloak because the crew moved fast. The tiny remnants of rock from the night before are all gone. Electrical fences block off the gate, while several new layers of dirt fill the crevasse.

"They've moved everything to where you asked," Shikamaru reassures him once he's close enough.

Itachi absently nods, listening to him but far more focused on what feels like a vast emptiness inside. "And the village planner?"

"Should be barreling this way soon. Those plans you signed off on for the Musesum were approved. Now, we just need to start on the new building."

Itachi takes to walking around the pillars, peering down at the new dirt. "Did you include the provision about the garden?"

"Yeah," Shikamaru confirms, keeping in step with him. "He promised the garden would remain intact and possibly expanded. He can explain it better, but he wants it to be an extension of the Peace Gardens."

This draws Itachi's attention away. His brows raise in curious confusion. "Those gardens will be closer to the lake area downhill."

Shikamaru's face falls flat. He sighs and then digs for one of five rolled scrolls stuffed under his arms. He unravels the scroll, flexing the paper in his hands to hold it straight, then brings it closer for Itachi to view.

"Then the plan is to have two walking trails," he juts his chin at what looks like his home. "Your old house is here right now. This place will be the visitor center and main entrance to the museum and the gardens. Following the first path out of the door, the guest will have signs directing them to the left, a winding downhill path that leads to the gardens. On the right, the original path will lead to the newly built museum. The planner wants to use those trees behind the building to extend the garden. Several flowers matching those of your back garden will also be planted to create homogeny. That's the way it was told to me."

Itachi scans over the plans that somewhat mirror the ones he approved of. The museum itself is the same. After some deliberation and the agreement of several clans to donate towards the cause, the museum needed to be bigger. As a workaround, his home would act as a visitor's center and a brief overview of the Uchiha Clan. Itachi requested his mother's gardens remain. The villager planner agreed and suggested covering the path with an awing to accommodate weather conditions.

The diverging path to the Peace Gardens was an addition not previously discussed with him. Not that he's against the idea. On paper, it looks phenomenal. But it also looks nothing like the home he's used to.

I suppose that's a good thing.

He leans away from Shikamaru. "When are they going to start this?"

Shikamaru rolls the scroll and tucks it away again. "Later this week. Now that the walls are down, the crews will switch to clean up and construction. We're trying to maximize the time and be finished with everything by the end of the year." the man pauses and then quietly adds, "Your house will be accessible until you leave for your mission."

"Who told you…?"

Shikamaru tugs at his earring. "It was a special request from Sakura."

Itachi blinks slowly, sighs, and turns back towards the door. "Of course she did."

He hadn't planned on coming back here after today. Itachi assumes distance will do him good. Apparently, Sakura seems to think otherwise.

The village planner meets them for a short time. Itachi keeps his promise to Sakura by gathering items for their dinner. He chooses hamburgers to stop by the meat vendor and Minami and her Oji-san one more time.

Itachi requests to have their usual pick-up prepared since he will be gone for a while.

"How long is your mission going to be?" Minami asks while weighing tomatoes.

"I'm hoping for something shorter than three months. Travel times can vary depending on the weather," he answers her.

"I'll be sure to tell Oji-san you didn't just fall off the planet. I know it might be a lot to ask but, is there any way you can give us updates? He may not seem it, but he worries about you and Sakura-san as he worries about me."

It does seem it and Itachi smiles knowingly at the thought. "I will keep Sakura updated as much as I can. I'm sure she'll spread the news to those who want to hear it."

She adds a couple of things that he doesn't ask for to the bag, then hands it to him without ringing it up.

"On the house," she tells him. "We'll take good care of Sakura-san while you're gone."

"Thank you, Minami-san. I'll be counting on you to do that. Please send Oji-san my gratitude."

Sakura does stay at the hospital for most of the night. Itachi lays in bed alone with his thoughts until she comes home. She's quiet when she comes into their room. Itachi pretends to sleep while she covertly does one of her medical checks. It's unnecessary really. He has a physical tomorrow anyway. But Itachi lets her do as she pleases.

It does please Sakura to take care of him. Itachi listens to her unspoken will and the way she relaxes when he seems fine. The sigh that leaves her when she's finally in bed. Itachi listens until she falls asleep, but finds himself unable to do the same.

---

"Did you get anything for dinner?" Sakura asks him, adding the final numbers to his chart.

Itachi eases off the medical table to grab his shirt. "Are you wanting anything in particular?"

"Something like that." Itachi furrows his brows at her deceptively cheery mood. "I may or may not have talked Temari into grilling some meat for us."

Itachi slips his shirt on and pulls his hair free. "You may or may not have?"

"There could have been a discussion about a first official mission party. And Temari probably said something about sending you off. I may have encouraged that line of thinking, which could have resulted in us having plans tonight?"

Sakura glances at him over her shoulder. Itachi eyes her, intentionally saying absolutely nothing. Inch by inch, tension builds. Sakura certainly wanes into self-consciousness.

Her shoulders droop until, finally, she adds. "Please?"

Itachi walks over to her, lightly bopping her on the top of the head in mild chastisement. "What time should we be there?"

Sakura's emerald eyes shift and soften. Itachi looks away, suddenly self-conscious.

"She said around 7 pm."

He takes a purposeful step back and pivots away to find his shoes. "Should I bring anything?"

"An empty stomach!"

Itachi decides to get dessert for them anyway, not wanting to show up empty-handed. Shikamaru guides his dish to the kitchen when they arrive.

"Sakura, come help!" Temari calls from the living room. Leaving the men to grab drinks.

"Ino might come by later," Shikamaru informs him while choosing the weakest drink in their collection. "I'm not dragging her home for a second time this week. Better safe than sorry."

Shikamaru pauses, staring into the cabinet with an assortment of alcohol. Finally, he adds, "If you need something stronger, I can keep the women away."

Itachi shakes his head. "I'm not fond of getting drunk."

Shikamaru accepts his answer with a lazy nod. "It's been a crazy couple of months. If you change your mind, let me know."

Itachi has no intention of drowning his sorrows. As perennial as they may be, he wants to go through the motions when they come.

Ino and Inojin do come by, with Sai joining shortly after. The children occupy themselves upstairs after dinner. The parents drink on Shikamaru's back porch. Once the moon's high enough, a few deer graze near the small crowd.

Temari excitedly gathers biscuits for them to feed the inquisitive creatures. When she gets to him, she steers him to a particular one that looks older than the rest.

"They say deer horns have magical properties," Temari states. "They can grant wishes of good fortune to people they think are worthy. If you give him a little rub, maybe he'll make sure you get back here safely. "

The deer does bow his head to him. Itachi indulges in the practice and gives the animal a gentle pet before feeding it a treat. At first, he doesn't sense anything different. After a moment, a tingle of warmth skirts over his skin. Itachi looks up, catching Sakura's bright smile under the moonlight. She also gives her deer's horns a careful rub. While he can't quite hear what she whispers to it, he knows that her thoughts are only for him.

Kakashi pulls him and Ino the next day for a more formal briefing of their mission. Itachi stands in front of Kakashi's desk while Ino perches on the side of it, legs crossed at the knee and arms folded. The scene is very different from when he last received a mission outside the Village walls. The Third Hokage was still alive, and he was quite old.

Kakashi watched the likes of Ino and Sakura grow up in the Academy. Even Itachi finds some familiarity with their current Hokage, which lessens the distance between them.

Still, he tries to maintain a respectable posture and demeanor. Ino, however, has no such reservations. She grumbles loudly, leaning on the desk to peek at the notes Kakashi keeps flipping through.

Ino appears surprisingly sober for someone who snuck her way into Temari's stronger wine the night before. He wonders if his wife may have played a part in her sobriety or if Ino possesses the same healing skills. He vaguely remembers hearing about her being in his nurse rotation after his battle with Sasuke. Should that be true, he suspects her companionship on his first mission is considerate and convenient.

It seems Kakashi designs a lot of missions that way. It is anybody's guess whether Kakashi's ingenious or indolent behavior fuels his choices. As he observes the Sixth Hokage flip through notes of their mission, yawning in intervals at every turn of the page, Itachi believes it can be both. Lazy? Sometimes. Clever? More often than he likes to portray.

"Did you find it yet?" Ino asks, canting her head to the side to get a better view.

Kakashi's forlorn sigh indicates he lost the briefing for their mission somewhere in the stacks of papers Ino moved to the other side of his desk.

"They're here somewhere…," Kakashi scratches his chin while staring intensely at the rest of the items on his desk. "Or they're there. Maybe."

"Did Shizune take it?"

"Not likely…"

Ino scrutinizes him for a second, though Kakashi seems wholly unphased by her evident displeasure for his forgetfulness.

"Are you sure you wrote it? I could step inside your mind to verify."

Itachi cuts his eyes in her direction at the accusation and the solution. Kakashi lets out an empty laugh, smiling sarcastically behind his mask.

"Now, Ino, we both know you couldn't survive a fraction of a millisecond up there."

She doesn't deny it and skips past his concealed chastisement to a different point. "Well, do you remember the important bits?"

"Let me think," Kakashi laces his gloved fingers and rests his chin on them. He finally makes eye contact with Itachi. "Just a reminder of what the two of you will be doing. Yours is a mission to celebrate peace between the five nations."

Ino nods in agreement, turning to Itachi as well. "The hard part is done. This is mostly just formalities, right Hokage-sama?"

"Why yes," Kakashi agrees. "We'll have visitors from other Villages pass through to see where we established our garden. Itachi will represent Konoha to the rest of the world. Ino will be there to smooth over the changing of the guard, so to speak. She will accompany you on your first trip to Suna and share courtesies with the Kazekage. After that, your mission ends, Ino. We'll need you here to work on the garden. Itachi, you will go on to Suna's closest neighbor and so on until all Four Nations greet you. Any questions?"

"Are we giving them anything?" Itachi asks. "Gifts, perhaps?"

Kakashi holds up a finger, pulling open a drawer. "Each Village gets a storage scroll."

He lays the small items on the table. "They're marked for easy recognition. It's nothing big this time around. We've done the grand gestures already. This is just a small thank you. You can take these with you today, Itachi. Any other questions?"

"Any time limits for me?" Ino asks.

Kakashi considers her question, leaning back in his seat to think. "I'd say about a week. Gaara's a gracious host. He'll offer for you to stay until you've rested. Take his generosity. Speaking of,"

Kakashi folds his fingers under his chin. "Should either of you encounter delays of the unsavory sort, I'm requesting you minimize but not neutralize. Escape, then immediately notify me and your next destination. I don't want an international incident to be misconstrued."

Itachi and Ino nod in agreement. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Perfect. With the more formal stuff out of the way, I can address one last thing," Kakashi announces. He reaches into a different drawer closest to him, opening it slowly. "I've met my ceremony quota for the year. I didn't feel the need to make this a public process. It is a special occasion though. I encourage you to celebrate how you see fit, Itachi."

Kakashi places a rectangular wooden box next to the scrolls. Itachi has his guesses as to what it is. An unsettling inclination keeps him from reaching for it right away.

"You're dismissed," Kakashi announces.

Itachi bows respectfully while Ino hops down from the desk. Only then does he reach for the items. He gathers the scrolls and the box. It's cool to the touch, weighty for its size, and leaves his mouth somewhat dry. He takes time organizing the items so they won't fall while listening for Ino to step out of the office. As soon as she does, Itachi speaks.

"Thank you for doing this, Hokage-sama," he says low enough so as not to be overheard.

"Some things are better celebrated in private," Kakashi responds with a genuine smile. "You've earned that, Itachi. When you get a second, pick up your order at the mission desk. We had some extra shinobi equipment and several flank jackets. I took the liberty of adding them, just in case. Return anything that doesn't fit."

Itachi expresses his gratitude with another bow before taking his leave. He holds tight to the box, walking out into the hall where Ino waits for him a few steps away.

"Any idea what it could be?" She asks when he catches up to her.

"I'll see once I'm home." Itachi gently dismisses her curiosity.

Ino laughs then hums, bumping his hip with hers, "Fine, fine, let Sakura see first. I'll just ask her when I see her in passing tomorrow."

His jaw flexes, almost embarrassed at the way she says it. Itachi has other reasons for waiting, but still. Was that thought so obvious?

Itachi watches his blonde companion out of his periphery. Ino preens in her assumption, confidently strolling next to him as if he has no rebuttal to her statement. Which is true but still perturbing.

A true Yamanaka, I suppose. As observant as they are talkative. The few times Itachi interacted with Ino's father left a lasting impression. The man was equally pleasant, perhaps not as smug as his daughter. He playfully used his skills, making jokes that seemed harmless. Closer consideration revealed a man far more cunning than he let on. Ino is quite the same. She seems like a careless gossip, beautiful by many standards, whose only talent is talking her way into getting people to talk.

There in lies a talent in its own right. Even with a reputation for spreading information, people still confide in her. Itachi will bet that Ino ascertains a lot more from nonverbal communication than anything else.

Everything I do is under assessment.

Ino keeps her gaze ahead, hands clasped behind her back, a contented hum in her throat. When they step outside, she suddenly pivots and cuts off his exit.

"Alright Uchiha," she leans in a little, a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes."What time should we meet? I'm taking a backseat on this one, so you set the pace."

Her immediate surrender of power confounds him. Itachi manages to cartel his reaction because of years of training. But he imagines Ino playing on her unpredictability to force the truth. By all accounts, she may outrank him on this mission. It stands to reason that she should lead the trip. The fact that she doesn't want to feels like a setup.

He watches her guileless expression, trying to find any signs of a farce. But Ino is a mask of innocence, which isn't encouraging in the slightest. He will bet that she is studying him just as much as he is studying her.

Although his interactions with Ino are few, she probably knows more about the inner workings of his marriage than anyone else. Perhaps not the most important bit, but she's been Sakura's crying shoulder for years. Something warns him that this fact will come up at some point on their trip. Ino's presenting his options most indirectly.

Set a hard pace, and the conversation will be brief. Set a medium to light pace, and she will extract as much as she can.

Itachi ventures to meet her in the middle. "I'm willing to consider your thoughts on the matter."

"Aw, how sweet. Personally? I'm fine either way. We'll get there when we get there."

"What time did you leave for your last mission to Suna?"

Ino straightens, giving him some breathing room. Her blue eyes drift to the side. "About eightish in the morning. Morning routines on mission days take a bit longer these days. I have to make sure my boys are well taken care of before I go."

Itachi takes her comment and steers the conversation towards her interest, not his. "Any time before that wouldn't work for you then."

Ino's bemused expression raises Itachi's defenses considerably. "I wouldn't say that exactly. I could get up and be ready for a mission earlier. Do you want to leave Konoha so early?"

Itachi sighs through his nose, knowing she's toying with him. "Six should be sufficient to get there."

"Six in the morning? So soon!" Ino exclaims. "I guess I can work with that. If you're that eager, I won't stand in the way, captain."

"I'm not a captain."

Ino ignores his comment with a wink and twirl. She leaves him there wondering if he'd made some grand admission to a truth he should have kept secret. It's hard for him to tell when Ino's playfully prowling or on a serious pursuit. They don't spend much time together without Sakura present, meaning this mission will be the first time they will be alone.

I feel I need to prepare for sharing a mission with Yamanaka just as much as I've prepared for the mission itself.

Itachi turns in the opposite direction to collect the items Kakashi reserved for him at the mission desk. He remembers the way well, noting the small changes like the walkway and new security holdouts. Even with cosmetic upgrades, nostalgia reminds him of his first mission and his last one.

Deja vu increases along with the amount of attention on him. Itachi hesitates only a moment before resuming toward the service desk. There are eyes everywhere, covert and overt, watching him walk in for the first time in over five years. If a breeze blew, it would sound like a rush of a tornado with how quiet the entire room gets. Itachi feels himself holding his breath because even that seems too loud. For five uncomfortably long seconds, Itachi walks the four or five steps toward a large counter where a young woman registers the sudden absence of noise a bit too late.

He almost feels bad for her, watching as her eyes track those watching his careful approach. She seems to understand that he's causing a silent stir in the building. Now, he's bringing the drama to her. Itachi tries to break the tension and make it easy on her by cutting through the stillness with a simple greeting.

"Excuse me, I'm–"

"For Uchiha Itachi, right?" She's already on her feet. "The Hokage told us you'd be coming by here soon. Wait right here. I'll go get your bundle."

He nods in understanding, though the woman bounces off before she can see it.

Their brief dialogue does set the world back into motion. People move along to their respective destinations. Inwardly, Itachi sighs at this increased interest in his life. It took five years to dim the curiosity of people wondering about the happenings of the last Uchiha. Itachi managed just fine, with a few bad actors and glares along the way.

Those things didn't bother him then, and they hardly bother him now. I have to make adjustments again. He huffs softly, sitting the box Kakashi gave him down on the service desk counter. No amount of trying will afford me a quiet, routine life.

If Itachi had his way, he'd stay under the radar as much as possible. With half of Konoaha gawking at him because of Kakashi's inspirational speech at the Haru Festival, there's no safe space outside of his home.

Itachi leans against the desk just for something to touch, trying to sway his internal dialogue towards the better part of his fame. Namely the part it played in allowing Kai's mother to let him see her son today. That and some carefully placed words by Sakura. The woman didn't approve of the idea of sparring, something Itachi felt bad about. She did agree to supervised visits in a neutral environment, someplace she could get to quickly for peace of mind.

Itachi's brows slowly furrow, still trying to sort out the woman's reservations. He hums, thinking perhaps a mother's instincts to protect their child from harm increase when that child is sick.

Kai is strong. He reasons. The boy obviously dislikes being coddled as much as she does. He sees the way his mother's presence diminishes Kai's personality. It's not my place to tell her how to parent. He is not my son.

The thought occurs to him that there's a chance one of his children may contract the same disease. What would he do? How would he handle the complexities of a child's zeal and the life-threatening chokehold of some unknown defect? He's mapping out possible outcomes in his mind when someone approaches. Itachi blinks slowly, lazily, refocusing on his surroundings at the sudden intrusion of his personal space.

"Uchiha-san," Konohamaru leans his folded arms against the counter, greeting him in a respectable but casual tone. "Are you picking up mission equipment for Sakura-san?"

Itachi acknowledges him with a passing glance, assessing his stance before dismissing it as relaxed. "No. For myself."

Konohamaru's brows shoot up in shock. Itachi watches several questions fleet across the young face. After a moment or two, he cools his features into a gentle smirk. He eases back into pleasantries.

"I don't know why I always assumed you retired." Konohamaru laughs a bit, shaking his head at himself.

Retired? Is that the impression my probation gave?

Itachi taps his fingers on the counter, thinking for a second before replying, "Being at peace with other nations seems to have lessened the load for all shinobi."

Konohamaru grunts a little, sagging his shoulders. "Yeah, I know. I've been volunteering at the Academy a lot these days."

The boy slouches and Itachi wonders, confused at his almost disappointment at being less busy. "You don't enjoy being at the Academy?"

"It's not that," Konohamaru quickly amends. "The kids are fine, half of them remind me of me. Too excited and cocky for their good. I kinda like watching them learn new stuff and goof off when they think nobody's looking. Less exciting work. But, still feels good to do. Honestly, I'd rather have moments of being bored like I am now than fighting because we have no choice."

"There's merit in having moments like this. The world slows down and we grow to appreciate the mundane."

"Like picking up microphones for D-rank missions." Konohmaru jokes. Keeping his tiny smirk in place, he blinks at the door opening, rests his cheek in his hands, and lowers his voice. "I'm glad you're on our side again, Uchiha-san. Keeping us all focused on those mundane things," Konohamaru whispers.

At that moment, Itachi sees remnants of Lord Third in his eyes. Bright with understanding and compassion are well hidden by a respectful but nonchalant attitude.

"Here you go!" The woman finally opens the door. She carries his flank jackets in their sealed plastic covers in her hands with a bag dangling from her arm. "It's a bit heavy. I put everything in a bag for you. I didn't want to mess up your jackets, so I kept them out. Did you want me to pack them away too or…?"

"Did you get my stuff too?" Konohamaru adds, crinkling his eyes in a way that very much resembles Kakashi.

Her playful eye-roll shows that they must go through the motions like this a lot.

"Wait your turn!" she yells at him, then switches on a smile for Itachi. "Uchiha-san, should I packet your vests?"

"Yes, please," Itachi answers while reassessing Konohamaru. The more he watches, the more he sees all the main influences in his life.

He has his grandfather's demeanor, Kakashi's expressions, and Naruto's cheekiness. Put together, Itachi imagines he will be a fearsome opponent in battle but an equally great teacher should he take that route.

Konohamaru grumbles, peeling himself off the counter in a dejected fashion. "Aw, man! You always treat me like a second-class citizen when my grandfath–"

"...Your grandfather was the Third Hokage. We know. "

She reaches down under the counter and gets an even bigger bag. Itachi watches their cheeky exchange, a hint of memories on his mind's horizon. Good things to be sure.

When the young lady finishes, she slides both bags across the counter as well as the sheet for Itachi to sign.

With all official documents signed off on, she says, "Good luck on your mission, Uchiha san!"

Itachi nods to her, glancing at Konohamaru nodding in agreement.

"Good luck," he says as if their conversation moments ago never transpired.

He has the potential to do many great things.

With a brief head bow, Itachi grabs his belongs and leaves both of them with a promise he very much intends to keep.

"I will do my best as you do yours."

The woman looks to Konohamaru for guidance. The young man bows as well and, much to Itachi's surprise stays that way until he starts to walk away. A show of both respect and recognition.

Truly the grandson of a Hokage.

Itachi also stops at the flower shop to replace the hydrangeas on Sakura's office desk. The girls at the shop know his face and smile to themselves when he steps in the door.

"Itachi-san! It's been waaay too long since you came by. Too famous for us peasants now?"

"Not at all," he answers, easing the door behind him, so it doesn't slam. "Things have been busy."

"Mhm," she rolls her eyes playfully, stepping over to the book of arrangements already opened near the register. "I'm willing to bet you got a stern talking to about the lack of flora in the house. I'm willing to help you make amends. We have some new arrangements you might like."

"I only need hydrangeas today," Itachi explains.

The young girl scans the display case. "Don't think we have all hydrangeas in there. I'm pretty sure I can cut you some fresh ones in the back."

"How long will it take?"

"Ten minutes?"

Itachi sits his things down on the ground. "I can wait here while you work."

She bounces away towards the back. Itachi scans the wall for a clock, hoping Kai will not mind waiting a bit longer.

The young girl tells him ten minutes but she's done in eight. Her face's nearly obscured when she comes back with a dozen blushing pink hydrangeas tied together with a pink and white bow. Her accomplished expression leads Itachi to believe her color choice isn't an accident. He adds one more request to his order, pays then takes everything with him to the hospital.

The receptionist tells him Sakura took a break in the third-floor lounge. He nods, detouring to her office to replace the flowers before carrying all of his shinobi equipment with him to the lounge.

Kai's mother only mentioned no sparring. She hadn't said he couldn't show him things. Itachi takes advantage of loopholes in the conversation, knowing Kai would enjoy the experience.

Usually, the staff lounge buzzes with activity. But when Itachi turns the corner, he only hears Sakura talking a mile a minute, probably trying to keep Kai entertained.

Itachi slides open the door with the two fingers that aren't wrapped around the bag handles.

Sakura looks up from the table she and Kai sit at, just as the boy turns around at the sound.

"Itachi-san!" Kai's out of the chair and near the door before Itachi can close it properly. "We've been waiting for ages."

"Fifteen minutes," Sakura corrects, standing but keeping her distance. "It may as well have been ages, though."

Itachi lets the lounge door close, smiling apologetically at the boy waiting expectantly. "My apologies, Kai-kun. I needed to get some things for today."

"What kinds of things?" he tries to peek in the bags, hesitantly scanning what little is visible before Itachi moves on towards the table.

"Come and see." Itachi invites him and Kai scrambles near, getting on his knees in the chair to see.

"Now that you're here, I can go check on some things in the lab," Sakura declares. "Be on your best behavior, boys."

She gives his shoulder an encouraging pat before leaving them alone to explore the contents of his packages.

Once she closes the door, Itachi turns to his company. "How have things been for you, Kai?"

The boy shrugs, plopping his chin in both his palms. "Boring and boring and more boring. I go to school and go home. Maybe see friends if I get the chance."

Amusement pulls Itachi's lips into a slow smile. He taps the bag, drawing light into Kai's dejected gaze.

"Do you like school?"

"It's alright. Probably not as exciting as the Ninja Academy though."

"Most students start out learning the same things you are."

Kai wrinkles his nose and shakes his. "I've seen them carrying around ninja tools and stuff like that. It's nothing like the civilian school. All we do is history and maths. Bleh! Mom won't even consider sending me there."

Itachi hums and Kai gruffly sits back on his heels.

"Don't be so hard on your mother," Itachi gently chastises, "She sees things that you don't."

"Like what?" Kai grumbles.

"Well, being a shinobi requires constant sacrifice. Your time and body do not belong to you anymore. You do what needs to be done to protect the village. Unless you are willing to give your life for everyone whom you love and those you don't, perhaps reconsider your dream."

Kai seems to take his words in, but Itachi sees the thoughts processing. It's similar to an expression most people who have little knowledge about shinobi life have. Itachi doesn't write him off, though. Although young, Kai seems to want to understand and tries to reason with his limited knowledge.

The boy sets his jaw, then crosses his arms over the table. "Sakura-san told me you're going on a mission."

It's a statement with a lingering question, and Itachi pulls a chair to take a seat and listen.

"I am," he confirms.

Kai eyes the bags still on the table, then boldly asks. "There's a chance you might die?"

Itachi withholds his answer to assess, noting the stiffness in Kai's shoulders and the sudden hardening of his features. Scared? Worried? Defiant?

"There are always risks," Itachi answers diplomatically. "We are trained to minimize them."

"Are you going to kill someone?" Comes the quick retort.

"No. This is a peace mission. I'm going to talk."

"For two months?"

Itachi nods beseechingly. "Talks take time and are arguably more important than fighting. They can save the world or destroy it. Do you want to see what I've brought?" Itachi calmly changes the subject, "You may find some of them quite familiar."

The spark comes back into Kai's eyes. Itachi prides himself on an easy diversion, something less somber to cheer the boy up. Itachi decides against showing any weaponry, focusing instead on the utility vest and kunai pouches.

"Can I try them on?" Kai asks.

Itachi helps him into a vest, then secures a weapons pouch around his leg. Itachi gives him space to eye his reflection in the window, sitting back in contemplative thought.

"Have you been to the Hokage Monument before?" Itachi asks.

Kai turns to face. "I see it every time we go outside."

The older man smirks, getting out of his chair to cross the room. "Let me offer you a different view."

Kai obeys without hesitation, climbing onto Itachi's back.

"Hold on tight," Itachi says, then opens the window to the breakroom.

The boy fists the top of his shirt, panicking when Itachi perches on the window seal. "We're gonna jump?"

"Yes."

"Out of the window!"

When Itachi lets go, Kai's scream gets muffled by the rush of wind. He clenches his arms and legs around Itachi as tight as he can for the first few seconds. Itachi takes a light pace, jumping casually from building to building until the boy calms down enough to open his eyes.

"Holy crap!" Kai exclaims. "We're flying!"

Itachi smiles triumphantly, purposely picking up speed to match the boy's expectations. Kai goes from screaming in terror to fist-pumping the air with one hand. They get to the Hokage Monument in just under ten minutes.

"Hold my hand or you may fall," Itachi instructs while easing the boy down.

Kai does as he's told, grabbing Itachi's hand while they inch toward the edge.

"This is so cool," Kai says. "I can see everything from here."

"Hnn."

"Never knew Konoha was shaped like a bowl."

"It doesn't look like it from the ground," Itachi agrees. "The mountains and trees keep us protected."

"And the shinobi," Kai adds.

Itachi nods. "Add the shinobi."

They lapse into respective silence. Itachi watches the goings on in the Village from above. They won't have much time, but Itachi's willing to linger for as much as the boy wants.

It seems Kai takes his time working up the courage to open his mouth. He clenches Itachi's hand first, then tugs to get his attention.

"Itachi-san," Kai's voice lowers with seriousness. "Do you remember what the Hokage said at the festival about the shinobi who fought for us?"

Itachi watches him from his periphery, but Kai keeps his eyes ahead. "He said a lot of things. Which part are you referring to?"

"The part about the ones in memory."

"I remember."

"Okay, good." Kai holds on a little tighter. "Don't be that."

Itachi gripes him just as strongly. "I won't be. Not this time."

They stay awhile longer before Itachi brings him back to the hospital. Sakura finds them as he climbs through the window. She covertly warns him that Kai's mother is on the way. Itachi hustles the boy out of his shinobi gear and is ready to present to his mother when she comes.

"Make sure you use your vest," Kai warns him. "Talks can be dangerous too."

Sakura gives Itachi a confused glance. Hajin encouragingly pats Kai on the shoulder. But Itachi nods, taking the boy's advice seriously.

"I will," he responds.

When Kai leaves, Sakura leans into his field of view, a cheeky smirk on her face. "Pink?"

He huffs, keeping his eye on the hallway. "It was the girls."

"The girls, hm? Guess I'll have to tell them to thank you. Are you going home?"

Itachi lifts his bags. "I need to pack."

"Already?" Sakura's shock at the inevitable twists his blood.

Three days came and went without a blink. Itachi senses her dismay. But, he sagely nods and repeats her words.

"Already."

"I guess I should start packing your medicine…"

"Are you going to bring it home or leave it here?"

"Home," she says, stepping away from him. "It'll be easier that way. No extra stops before you leave. Go ahead. I'll get everything ready here."

Itachi grabs her arm before she can walk away from him this time. Sakura's eyes grow and he wishes her expressiveness would remain. But it's only a slip before she hides it again with a fake smile and unsteady laughter.

"What?" she questions.

Itachi scans the whole of her face, wondering what and why she's hiding. "Are you alright?"

Sakura's smile grows. "There's a lot that needs to get done. Maybe I'm just tired. But go pack! I'll be home before lunch probably."

He lets her go because she wants to be let go. Itachi has no desire to aggravate her by insisting on things he only speculates. When Sakura waves him off, he goes home knowing she's lying.

Itachi carries his bags to the bedroom, then lays out the contents on their bed.

They give him four flank jackets, two in black and two in green. Itachi places each one next to its respective color, noting the changes from the multi-pocket style in exchange for a smoothie style reminiscent of those worn in the Cloud Village. There are five pairs of pants, two in deep gray and three in black. Itachi lays them out in one section followed by the five shirts, all black with long and short sleeves. Two new pairs of shinobi shoes with their accompanying bindings, two utility pouches and a cloak complete his outerwear.

Itachi's a bit surprised Kakashi adds the cloak considering its association with the Akatuski. He holds it up close, brushing his thumb across the seamless embroidered Konoha symbol on either side of the collar. A subtle grayish white against the dark inky black makes his affiliation clear. On the back, a sizably embroidered Uchiwa fan. The same clan emblem decorates the back of all his shirts. Upon closer inspection, Itachi notices a smaller Uchiwa fan on his utility pouch, on the velcro straps of his gloves, and on the straps of his rolled weapons cases.

He must have planned this well in advance.

To have all the stitching done to such a high level of detail and quality, Kakashi couldn't have recently commissioned his order. Laying down the clothing items, Itachi reaches for the familiar rolled bundle. It's heavy, maybe a good thirty pounds of weaponry. He bounces it once in his hand, testing the weight. The rich metallic scent of high-grade craftsmanship mixes with the manufactured scent of durable fabric. It's a smell that reminds him of youth and excitement. Itachi moves items so he can sit on the bed. Resting the pouch on his lap, he reverently unrolls it as if he's never opened a packet of new kunai.

Unlike the first time when he excitedly laid out the gear that marked him as a shinobi, there's no thrill here. Every unfurling of the fabric reveals a new kunai and a deeper longing that blossoms into memories carried by the smells that describe his childhood.

His father was the first person to give him a punch like this. He's the one Itachi misses the most while brushing his fingers along the hilt of all ten kunai. In his mind, he sees himself doing the same thing at one of the low tables in the meeting rooms while his father explained their usage. Itachi knew those things already. They'd taught him in the Academy. He watched his father plenty of times to get the gist of how to use it. But he sat there and listened for the sake of hearing his father's calm, even voice explains in great detail. Itachi asked questions that he knew the answer to just to keep the conversation going. Then they practiced all night until his mother forced both of them to go inside because it was starting to snow. His hands were calloused from gripping the leather binding too tight. His wrist hurt from throwing them at the same target over and over again until his father deemed it acceptable for the day. As sore as his body was, those were some of the happiest moments of his life.

Now, they seem like some of the saddest, tainted and undercut by plots and pride.

A sharp pain shoots through his lungs. Itachi reaches up to touch his chest. His heart's racing. Mentally, Itachi wrestles with pushing it aside or letting the feelings run their course.

He chooses both. Moving the case back on the bed, Itachi stands and removes his clothes. One by one, he dresses in his mission gear. Black long sleeves, black pants, leg bindings, and shinobi shoes. Every new item compounds the grief bubbling to the surface. His eyes water but nothing falls. His nose runs but he snifts it away while wrapping his wrists and hands in tape. All of the moves are as innate as breathing. He's done this a million and one times before, in a life that used to feel like a long time ago. But the past is right before his eyes. Once Itachi clips the fastenings on his new flank jacket, there's no hiding anymore. He steps around the bed towards the full-length mirror on Sakura's side of the room. A full fledge shinobi looks back at him with a straight face and vacant eyes that try not to overthink.

Itachi does try to not overwhelm himself, choosing which memories get permission to resurface. The last time he dressed anything like this, he was thirteen years old Now, well into his twenties, nothing's changed yet everything is completely different.

I've grown, he thinks with a hint of sarcasm. Timewise, he's very much an adult. But, in many ways, all Itachi sees is the thirteen-year-old boy, carrying the weight of the village on his shoulders. If he turns his face just a little, he sees his father. An older man, wiser in the way that comes with scars, a silent force in the background of all the noise. A tilt of the chin and there's his mother, proud and kind who loved her family as much as she loved her clan.

They're all there, watching him.

Itachi balls his fists and rebels against the thought that it's not fair. He closes his eyes to find something solid to stand on. Starting with his toes pressed against the ground, the tight bindings around his ankles, and the brush of fabric against his legs. Itachi tracks up to his chest when the familiar buzz pushes its way forward. The bedroom door slowly opens and his mind begins to settle. He slowly opens his eyes, catching Sakura's face in the mirror.

"Hi," she says sheepishly. "I came to tell you I packed your medical bag and came home early. I thought we could have lunch together. I guess not."

"I haven't started lunch yet." he manages but in a tone as sully as his thoughts.

Sakura's nod comes slowly. She doesn't say anything for a few seconds, cutting her green eyes towards the bed and then back to him.

"Okay," she finally says. "Minami made us some pickled vegetables and other stuff. You don't have to cook. Eat it whenever you're ready."

Sakura closes the door before he can answer. Itachi watches the empty space for a long time after she leaves the room. Her chakra registered so clearly before she opened that door. Now, it's as if someone sucked the life right out of her, just like in the hospital earlier. She's still in the house. He knows that. But everything that makes Sakura Sakura, that vibrant flare of irrationally vocal emotions diminishes to a dull hum.

Itachi realizes with stunning clarity that he hates this watered-down version of her. While he understands Sakura's motivations, this person only adds to his misery. This person, like everyone else important to him, seems out of reach, closed off, gone.

And that Shisui was right. Sakura is an important person to him. He's just as off-kilter by her reservations as he is about seeing himself in full shinobi gear. It seems that's all he's been for weeks now, treading in some limbo.

Itachi paces towards the bed, realizing that he needs to sit down. Propping his elbows on his knees, Itachi covers his face with both hands. Not knowing what to do is half of his frustration. It's not as simple as a mission. These are intangible things that have no real step-by-step answers. He takes a deep breath, remembering what Izumi told him. It's okay to miss them. It's okay to regret. It's okay to feel that he should not have to suffer for a selfish man's deeds. It's okay to love watching citizens thrive because of his hard choices. It's okay to want to be comforted when nothing feels okay. It's okay to mourn the past while wanting a future.

"Itachi?"

He doesn't even hear her come through the door, nor does he lift his head. Itachi gives a noncommittal reply, half-listening to her to focus on everything else. Sakura's footsteps draw closer and then away. He hears the rattle of the bag, and his pulse jumps uncontrollably.

"I think you forgot something," she says. Something clicks open, and then a soft, "Oh…"

Itachi doesn't have it in him to see. He knows what she's holding in her hands. When she steps in front of him, Itachi braces his core for the brush of fabric against his forehead.

"Lift your head but keep your eyes closed." Sakura instructions.

Itachi blinks behind his hands. "Why?"

"It's a surprise."

"I know what it is."

She huffs. "Just…trust me okay?"

Itachi does trust her more than any other person on this planet. Slowly, he lifts his head, eyes closed as she asks. Seconds later, fabric touches his cheeks and then covers his eyes. Itachi sits up straight, confused when she blindfolds him. "What are you doing?"

"Earlier, it looked like you were struggling with what you were seeing in the mirror. So, maybe it's a good thing not to see anything for a little bit."

Itachi isn't sure what to say. She's not lying. He was struggling. Being blindfolded? It's such a simplistic way to solve his problems.

Darkness is an interesting thing, one he is both familiar with and fascinated by. Unlike the looming blindness from overuse of his Mangekyo, Sakura believes this darkness will be his ally. Without eyes, he can only rely on the sounds, smells, and sensations around him. Sakura's fingers brush against his hair as she ties the hitai ate. The scent of fabric softener from her shirt. The occasional touch of her knee against his leg. Her almost too quiet breathing. And a very noticeable absence of sensation.

Physically speaking, she is quite close to him. So close that she creates a shadow from the light. Or Itachi can stretch his hand and touch her without hyperextending his arm. Inside, however, chakra coils tight. Without his eyes, Itachi sees the slow dimming of her aura.

"There," she announces, "When you're ready, you can take it off again."

Sakura takes a step back physically and Itachi reacts just as quickly. He grabs the wrist closest to his face. Under his thumb, Sakura's chakra comes alive for a fraction of a second. Itachi feels her again.

"Come back," he whispers.

Sakura's pulse skips erratically. She struggles to keep that tight lid on her chakra. Is that what he needs to do? Touch her? Itachi glides thumb over her skin, gently beckoning her closer until her knees hit the bed between his legs.

"Don't go. Please."

Sakura holds completely still. Her chakra skips and twists, trying to find a balance again.

"What do you want me to do?" Sakura's voice quivers just a little. Is she nervous? Did he scare her?

Itachi switches tactics. He let go of her wrist in favor of laying her hand against his cheek.

"Stay with me," Itachi requests, willing to let go if she asks him, "I…your chakra soothes me."

"Yeah, you've said that before…" she mutters.

"Does it bother you?" Itachi asks.

Sakura doesn't answer right away. Her finger twitched beneath his own, smaller and stiff.

"That depends," she starts. "Am I just a walking chakra blanket to you?"

In quiet tones, he admits the truth. "Not at all. Everyone else that's important to me is beyond me but you. I don't want you to hide from me."

After several seconds, she caresses his face. Her chakra unfolds one tendresse at a time, overwhelming the darkness, and giving him something to hold on to. Not the past but the here and now. Without his eyes, he can't see the world around him. He can't see his reflection reflecting his sins to him. There are no ghosts here. Just for a minute, he wants to stay.

"I didn't want to intrude physically or mentally," Sakura's other arm circles around his head, cradling him against her. "I don't want to make you suffer more by being away. Tell me what's wrong."

Itachi exhales in gratitude when she holds him tight. His shoulders sag and he lets the full weight of his confusion rest in Sakura's embrace.

"You held back," he admits into her shirt. "I couldn't sense you anymore."

Sakura holds him tighter. "Sorry."

Itachi lifts his hands and lays them back down, unsure if he should or where he would hold her. "It's easier to think and to feel."

"Are you feeling a lot of things? Like you feel overwhelmed, lost, and back where you started?"

He shudders at the truth, and she soothes his prickled feathers with gentle strokes. Itachi lifts his arms again, fingers flexing before he sighs and drops them to his knees. He doesn't want to impose on her physically any more than he already has. But, Sakura does it for him, letting him go to bend over a little. She takes his wrist and wraps his arms around her waist. It forces him to sit up straighter. When Sakura pulls him back to her, Itachi tenses at the softness that touches the side of his face. She presses him against her chest with her arms until her heartbeat and breathing are the only two things he can hear and feel.

"You know, there's no right or wrong way to grieve stuff. We can't pick and choose what triggers our memory. If sadness was some streamlined process, people would have perfected it by now. But, it's not. It's an ugly, messy process that jumps between phases on a whim."

"How did you survive it?"

She chuckles and shakes her head. "I went through it. Wanna hear a secret?"

"If you want to share."

Sakura lays her cheek on the top of his head and confesses her secret into his hair. "I didn't just withdraw because you looked like you needed some space. When I opened that door, I saw Sasuke standing where you were. It was only for a second, but that was enough to remember everything. Crazy right? All those childhood dreams and girly desires to have a moment just like I had today. To come home, open the door, and see Sasuke standing there waiting for me. Every once in a while, I get these tiny reminders of what I had to let go of to save everyone else. It's nothing compared to what you've given up. For me? Sasuke was such a huge part of my life that it still stings sometimes. Seeing you there stung a little."

A small layer of discontent falls over him and makes him frown. Hearing Sakura acknowledges that Sasuke still sparks strong emotions deepens his guilt.

'Did you ask'? Shisui's words ring in the back of his mind. Itachi almost rebels against it and wants to refuse. Does he have the right to ask? Should he?

"Sakura," Itachi's glad his face and eyes are hidden from her view. "Do you still love him?"

Her heartbeat skips. Sakura hums in deep thought.

"Do I? Not like I used to, and that's the best thing for both of us," she admits. "Sasuke was…an idea, a dream that lacked vision. I wanted the Sasuke I saw in my mind, not the one in front of my eyes. I wanted to change him. But, I couldn't fix his pain any more than I can fix yours. It took him dying and me having hatred in my heart for a long time for me to realize what Sasuke needed from me. It wasn't the kind of love I was offering."

"Hatred for me?"

Sakura hesitates, then takes a deep breath through her nose. "Yeah."

He knows this already. Sakura never hid her sentiments from him in that regard. Yet, Itachi keeps pushing, hoping for a more favorable answer.

"Do you still hate me?"

There's another long pause. He tenses at thoughts that flutter by. Sakura's chakra deepens to a pitch he's not felt. She mumbles something he can't hear, then holds him tighter.

"Do people that hate each other hold each other?"

"In treachery, yes."

"Lucky you, I'm not a traitor," She laughs a little bit. Itachi hears the change in her mood, feels the nuances in her chakra, and it reassures him."Turns out, I was very wrong about the person that you are. Then, I needed to fix the person I was becoming after Sasuke. And now..."

"And now?"

"That would be two secrets. I'm not ready to give that one up yet. We'll Enough about me. How are you feeling?"

"Cheated," Itachi admits and she laughs for real this time.

"How are you feeling about yourself? Still sad? Still need to cry?"

Itachi tries to answer her question, pushing aside his curiosity to focus on the torment from minutes ago. He finds it easier to touch Sakura in his arms. Is he sad still? Only a little. Does he need to cry? Not like before, but there's this lingering sense of dread that ramps up if he moves his face and the weight of the headband shifts against his eyes. He's still in full shinobi gear. Itachi imagines himself looking in the mirror. Although there was no ghost, the past felt like it was standing right in front of him.

"I think that maybe I'm afraid of starting a future because of the past," he confesses into her shirt.

Itachi's grateful for the blindfold keeping the shadows in his eyes from reaching Sakura. She stays quiet, rubbing soothing circles from his head to his shoulders. Like a mother comforting a doleful child, one hand stays wrapped around his head at all times while the other caresses with fingers and nails. Soft and light touches, but the arm that holds him is firm. Itachi clings for as long as she will allow.

"Can I ask something?" Sakura asks.

"Anything."

"Is it hard being a shinobi now? Do you despise it?"

He takes time to think about it. "Being a shinobi is not hard. Being the only shinobi of my kind, the last Uchiha is challenging. When I look in the mirror, I see them. They're watching me with expectation."

"Then they see just how great you are and how hard you've been trying. I bet if Shisui were here, he'd say they're cheering you on from beyond. They're watching for your success and not your failure. They know that if anyone could embody the Will of Fire and the pride of the Uchiha, it's you."

Itachi almost laughs, knowing that Sakura's right. "I miss them."

She agrees. "I know you do."

"I don't want to choose the wrong thing," he admits.

"You won't. And you didn't before. Don't let yourself believe that lie. You saved your clan's pride and kept Konoha safe. Someone else took advantage of that but that's not your fault. That's their delusional mindset. Now you have a chance to show us that Uchiha are resilient and they love Konoha just as much as every other clan. I know you loved your family. Look at you, torn up inside because of them. You loved them so much. They know. Trust me, they know."

Itachi stays quiet for a long time, listening to Sakura's confident breathing. When he's ready, he lets her go. Sakura gives him space to pull his hitat ate up from his eyes. She's the first thing he sees when his vision adjusts. Green eyes wide with expectation.

She smiles at him, then pats his arm. "Ready now?"

Itachi looks down at her hand and what little bit of his shinobi gear he can see.

"Almost. Thank you."

Later that night, Itachi turns off the last of the lights downstairs. Sakura kept him company for the remainder of their day for as long as she could before needing rest. Itachi insisted she takes it, cleaning up after them and unpacking the rest of the goodies Minami gave them.

Now that the night is still and his house is dark, Itachi follows the hum of serenity guiding him straight to their bed.

Sakura's half-buried under covers. She's sleeping. He can tell by the peaceful stillness in her chakra. It's a gentle ebb and flow and beacon in the darkness. Itachi has half a mind to activate his Sharingan to keep this moment in his memories. A silly, irrational thought, he knows. It's not as if she will disappear when he closes his eyes. He's the one that's leaving. Now that everything's slowed down, the weight of his mission rests heavily on his shoulders.

He pans his gaze toward the packed bag with his mission gear. In the dark, the shiny reflectors flicker in the moonlight. He crosses the room to ensure everything he needs tomorrow is where it should be. All is where it should be, so he sits on the edge of the bed instead. Behind him, Sakura shifts a little. Her soft, sleepy grumble reminds him of why he can't sleep yet.

Itachi is past the phase of overthinking about his family. She walked him through that earlier today. But they had not got around to discussing being apart from each other. Apparently, according to his restless, that is equally as important. He can't blame these ideas on Sakura. Because she's asleep, and he's staring into dark corners of the room, remembering the time they shared space on the sofa.

Itachi's problem is that he wants to try that again because he thinks it will help him sleep. Would she understand? How would I explain?

Itachi has no intention of violating her trust, but his request is quite personal. That one time seemed like a whim. His mindset was slightly different then. Sakura willingly gave up her personal space to ease his troubles. This time, he'd be the one asking.

Or maybe he should go for it? Maybe they work better with whims? I should ask, or I will be up all night.

Itachi glances over his shoulder. Sakura's curled on her side, facing away from him. It seems so easy to reach over and wake her up. But Itachi goes back and forth in his mind, turning away from her and then looking back again before he finally decides to try.

He lays down on his side of the bed first, keeping as much physical distance as possible to show he means no harm. A feather-light touch of Sakura's bare shoulder sends a jolt to his soul. It takes all his willpower not to hold on to her right then. For as long as he can, Itachi exercises restraint, touching, nudging, and trying to get her to wake up. When it doesn't work, he whispers loud enough to be heard.

"Sakura."

His near-silent plea makes her stir.

"Itachi?" she calls, aura awaking with concern.

He doesn't want to lose the calmness from earlier. He doesn't want to make her worried. So Itachi reacts by keeping her from turning, easing his arm around her waist and pulling her towards him.

"Itachi," sleep gone, Sakura tilts her head. In the dark, those green eyes find him. "What are you doing?"

It is a good question with a simple answer that Itachi yields willingly."Being impulsive."

"You're never impulsive."

"You make it easy for me."

Sakura stares openly at him. Her lashes flutter. Itachi, caught in how they soften her gaze, falters in his pursuit. He's more aware of their closeness now that he sees her face. All the things that made sense before he decided to do this have Itachi shyly hiding his face against the pillow. When she giggles at his sudden reservations, it only worsens the moment.

"Maybe I should ask why you're being impulsive at," she pauses to check the time. "One in the morning?"

Itachi grumbles his reason into her pillowcase. "I can't sleep."

"Is it the mission?"

He nods, unable to see those eyes.

"You need me to relax you?" she clarifies, and he nods again.

"One last time."

Much to his surprise, Sakura accepts his explanation and closes the remaining distance until their bodies curve around each other. Itachi adjusts for better reach, enveloping her in his arms, then burying his face in her hair.

He's going to miss her. Not in the way he'll miss his favorite tea or dessert. He could learn to live without those things. This is different. Desserts don't smell like fruity shampoo and lotion. They don't settle his nerves or quiet his thoughts. When Itachi closes his eyes, the world narrows to only them. Sakura lays her arm on the one around her waist. She intertwines her fingers with his, holding his hand while he holds her close. Sakura's aura allures him as close as they can get, then pulls him under until the worries that kept him up all night melt with sleep.

Sakura's bravery lasts for as long as dreams keep her under. It's only when something rumbles her stomach that she unfurls like a cat, stretching her arms and legs long, that she realizes what the hell happened last night. Then she pops straight up after that, heart racing and hair caught against her eyelashes. She blinks several times, checking the other side of the bed and then glancing anxiously at the door.

She can still feel his arms around her waist, his tickle of breath on the back of her neck. You make it easy for me.

Sakura squeals into her hand, kicking her feet under the covers. What the hell? What The Hell! On his last night here and he leaves me with butterflies!

Sakura throws their covers off and then hides in the bathroom for as long as she thinks she can. It takes some chanting to herself to muster up the courage to venture downstairs.

The kitchen door's slightly ajar with muffling sounds coming from inside. She doesn't need to see to know. The waft of seasoning from warm food drifts towards her, confirming that Itachi's in there making breakfast.

Sakura wipes at her face, combing her fingers through her hair to give her hands something to do. Swallowing her silly nerves, the medical jounin walks to the kitchen and then slides open the door.

There Itachi is, like he is every day, assembling their breakfast and his mission lunch with practice ease.

Maybe it's the trick of the sun fully beaming through the window, mixing with the overlight shining down on their little wooden breakfast table that has the space feeling brighter. Or the sight of her partner rapidly tapping his writs with one hand while holding a skillet, trying to get the rolled eggs to slide closer to him that garners a sense of normalcy. It could very well be Itachi in an apron, his usual deep Uchiha blue pants and high collared shirt, hair pulled back and dangling against the red and white Uchiwa fan that leaves Sakura with an odd sense of comfort.

Everything is different, but it also isn't.

There is him. There is her. There is steamed mackerel, rolled eggs, and rice for breakfast. Tea for him, juice for her, chopped fruits, and chopsticks. And it feels like any other day before it. The remnants of Itachi's medicine lay on the counter. There are broken eggshells and a half-emptied bottle of orange juice. A set of two bowls, two cups, and two sets of utensils on a table, his and hers.

Sakura thinks perhaps she should be panicking more, being more anxious about his leaving this morning and cuddling in bed last night. On some small level, she reckons, she might be panicking. Itachi can read her like a book. Except he hasn't even turned to acknowledge her standing at the door. He's just trying to get the eggs out of the pan. It's so simple and so normal that Sakura sort of laughs at the absurdity of it all, grabbing her partner's attention in the process. She waves off Itachi's inquiring gaze, helping him out by cleaning up the eggshells and putting the juice away.

Itachi cuts the rolled egg into cute little circles. Sakura settles down at the table, chin in hand, watching him cook. When he sits, she doesn't know where to start or if she even should. It's their last breakfast together for a while. She should say something.

Sakura clears her throat, keeping her voice light and her emotions as neutral as she can manage.

"What time are you meeting Ino?"

Itachi spears a piece of fruit with his chopstick, keeping his eyes on his work as he casually carries on the conversation. "In about an hour or so."

"Are you all packed?" Sakura asks.

"Yes."

"The medical bag from yesterday?"

"I haven't gotten to that yet."

Sakura picks at her rice, realizing for the first time in a long time that this is truly happening. Itachi is leaving. She won't see him for months. No more cuddles, I guess.

"Are you coming with me?" Itachi interrupts her thoughts with a quiet request but loud enough to get her heart beating fast again.

Sakura silently stutters for words, grateful that her partner is too busy polishing off his fruit to catch her fumbling with such a simple request. She needs to get it together because Itachi doesn't need to see her face to know she's all over the place. Sakura tries to reel in her flicker of happiness, disguised by embarrassment at having such hope in the first place.

Sakura douses the coldest water she can think of onto her pathetic little flame by injecting doubt into the situation.

"Are you sure?" she comments, going for the rolled egg. "I don't have to if you'd be more comfortable alone…"

"I want you to come."

Sakura's mouth snaps shut as Itachi adds more fuel, bypassing her lame attempts at quelling her fanciful expectations. She could refuse. But there's no reason to say no and every reason to say yes. It would be more logical to say yes. But god help her if the thought of being wanted isn't doing ridiculous things to her emotions.

Sakura reminds herself that Itachi leans on her for reasons other than trying to make her blush. Even last night, they only cuddled because he couldn't sleep. Now is not the time for mixed signals and confusion.

Be helpful. Be a friend.

She forces a smile. "If you want me to, I'll be there."

"I want you to be there," Itachi affirms.

Sakura nods slowly, chewing on pieces of egg that go down a bit too rough. She sits her chopsticks down, having finished her breakfast, or as much as she can stomach her current state of mind, which is all over the place. She feels all over the place. Uncomfortable but not uncomfortable enough to stop, just to the point where she doesn't want Itachi to notice. But she keeps fidgeting and forgetting words and blushing like she's twelve years old again. Even after breakfast, she finds it hard to look him in the eye or openly acknowledge that he looks damn good in his shinobi gear.

So Sakura offers to clean and pack the last of his things. Partially out of kindness but mostly to give both of them some time apart. Sakura pitterpatters around until she literally can't avoid him anymore, or else Itachi will be late.

He holds her hand the entire walk. They move in silence though Sakura wishes she could say something, anything. Every time she thinks of the night before, her throat closes, and her face heats up.

Ino and Sai are already at the front gate, checking in with the guards. Itachi lets her hand go to check in as well. Sakura lingers near the entry, watching the exchange while holding his lunch. When all of the information passes, Itachi goes back to her.

"Everything okay?" she asks.

He nods. "We're clear to leave."

"Okay…" Sakura hesitates, looking down and her fingers gripping his wrapped bento made from the vegetables Minami packed for them.

"I guess I should give you this?" Sakura jokes, lifting it for him to take with a tight smile.

Itachi takes it from her hands and adds it to the small bag on his back.

"Make sure you take another shot in a few hours or if anything feels off," she adds.

"I will," Itachi confirms.

"Ino's a decent medic. If you need her to do a quick scan, she can."

"I'll remember that."

"Don't be afraid to take breaks either," she rambles on. "It's just you two and this is your first long-term mission in years. So, you know, be careful…"

Itachi steps a little closer, and Sakura's words falter. He glances at the guards pretending not to watch. Sakura follows his line of sight and then over to Ino and Sai probably overdoing their goodbyes.

They're watching us. She realizes a second after Itachi does. With the need for pretenses, Itachi draws her into a firm embrace. She stumbles into it, holding still while his weight increasingly sinks onto her. Her cheeks blush when Itachi's heavy sigh ruffles her bangs.

"I will be fine. You made sure of it," he tells her.

Tentatively, her arms go up. Her partner adjusts his stance. Sakura slips her arms through the opening of his cloak, burying them and herself inside his outwear. Holding him as tight as she can.

The last time Itachi hugged her like this, Sakura wasn't sure of what to do. Truthfully, she's still a little bit uncertain about her actions. But this is the kind of thing couples do when one is leaving. Even in peacetime, there are always risks. So goodbyes are often riddled with nervous promises of return or well-concealed tears.

I still don't think he's ready. A break could do him some good. There shouldn't be any ghost following him halfway through Cloud country. It'll give him time to come to terms with everything.

Sakura sighs with a heavy heart. Knowing what she knows doesn't guarantee that Itachi won't just push everything aside for the sake of the mission. He'll come home more closed off than he already was. Then we'll be back where we started. He'll disappear in the middle of the night, chasing Shisui all around the Village...!

"Sakura," Itachi interrupts her thoughts, "Perhaps you should calm down some."

"Right. Right. Sorry. Chakra connection and all," Sakura mutters guiltily into his clothes, leaning her forehead against his shoulder. "Should I let go?"

To her surprise, Itachi holds on tighter. "No."

Sakura bites her lip, once again at a loss for what to do. "Are Ino and Sai still saying their goodbyes?"

Itachi turns his head a little. "They are."

"Okay. How are you feeling now?"

He sighs softly. "I don't know how to truthfully answer that question without startling you."

She blinks several times at his confusing response, thinking perhaps he's messing with her to call her nerves.

"Are you planning to set the village on fire as your final act of vengeance?" she jokes, trying to lighten the mood as well.

Itachi does laugh a little, the tiniest little rumble in his chest. He brushes his cheek against the side of her forehead. "Then where would we live?"

"The citizen would probably be evacuated–"

"Not them," Itachi quietly interrupts. "Us. Where would we live if Konoha is gone?"

Sakura flusters because it sounds like one thing, but she doubts Itachi realizes the undertones of his statement. In this stupid little scenario, Itachi would burn Konoha down but save her.

Only her.

"Wherever you want, I guess."

"Hn," Itachi pauses, and Sakura pointedly ignores the unintentional touch of his lips against her temple. "I'd prefer if you choose. Where would you like to go?"

Sakura nervously toys with the inside of his cloak, taking one slow breath so as not to get overly shy. He's so close and playfully talkative, which is unlike Itachi. But she likes this little banter.

"Maybe the forest?" Sakura ventures quietly. "Find a small little town at the edge of Fire country. We could live off the land. If the neighbors get too suspicious, we could move to a new place."

"Survive on the run? I could, but I doubt you have the resolve."

"I'm not the one burning the village down."

Itachi tuts at her short-sightedness. "You are my accomplice now that you've discovered my plan. I can't exactly let you leave with that information. The risk is too great."

Sakura subtly tilts her head, giving him more of the side of her face and neck. "Arson and kidnapping, you won't make it past the sentries."

Itachi leans in, and the teasing quality of his voice gives her goosebumps.

"A moment ago, you made it seem as if you'd come willingly. I've snuck away in the middle of the night before, what's one more time."

She almost says she'd go with him. Sakura stops herself from indulging in a fantasy of them being outlaws together. She'd never abandon Konoha. The thought of her and Itachi against the world conjures scenarios that she probably shouldn't be entertaining right now. Particularly because Itachi will know that she's having erogenous thoughts about them.

Isn't this supposed to be Itachi's send-off? Why, then, is her gut in knots with a hollow sensation making it hard not to take deep inhales? Focus. Focus.

"No running away," she states. "Who's Daichi going to get to test her wild dango recipes if you're not here? Minami will lose a valued customer. Temari will have to find a new cooking partner. Shikamaru may need to teach Naruto how to play shoji. Imagine that disaster! No running away or setting villages on fire, okay? There are people here waiting for you."

"What about you?" Itachi challenges, then reach up and caress her hair. "Don't discount what you do for me."

Sakura's almost standing on solid ground, but Itachi pulls the rug from under her feet.

"I didn't do–"

"You did everything," he insists. "You encourage me, push me not to hide behind the facade forced on shinobi. I've not gotten to the place where I can touch these things fully without being overwhelmed. You keep me steady."

You keep me steady. These words she never thinks will come from his mouth. Now that they have, she sways with her untold wants and truths.

Sakura knows that these desires that leave her somewhat breathless when she pulls back are more than that of a partner, and deeper the friendship. Perhaps that's why her eyes water and the tears that come carry old wounds. I've wrapped my heart around an impossible situation, again.

"You're just as strong without me," she declares, trying to put things back in the proper places. "You're the bravest person I know, Itachi. I'm so proud of what you've done."

She resigns to being his mental support, with no expectation of Itachi returning anything other than kindness.

Except Itachi takes her wet cheeks in his warm hands. He wipes her tears and catches new ones before they can fall. Blood thumps hard and fast in her ears. Itachi tilts her head higher and leans down until their foreheads touch.

"You're always crying for me," Itachi whispers.

Sakura chuckles. She tries sniffing her tears away, but it doesn't work, "I'm working on not crying so much. Shinobi shouldn't cry at the drop of a hat."

"Don't be a shinobi. Be Sakura. That's the person I need most right now."

Behind her, Ino and Sai utter their final goodbyes. Time winds down, and she can't think of anything else to say to delay his departure.

"Are you guys done?" Ino calls.

No, please. Sakura presses her eyes closed, exhaling helplessly. It takes a second to swallow the lump in her throat and put away the fears of him being attacked while vulnerable. Ino will be with him. She's checked and double-checked his lungs this morning.

"Don't just stand there, Sakura," Ino teases. "This is the first time you've been apart in five years. Give him something to think about for the next few months."

Sakura's eyes grow wide. To her horror, Itachi blushes at the words being yelled across the path. She can't even think of a comeback. Her brain stops for several long seconds. But when it starts again, Ino's words sink deep and ring with possibilities. Leave Itachi with one thing to carry him through the next few months. One thing that says everything without using words. Maybe it is cheating a little because they have to save face for the guards in the tower covertly watching them and her best friend standing several feet away in expectation.

Sakura considers giving him one final hug to satisfy the masses. But would it satisfy her? She shifts her eyes towards Itachi who's watching her closely. Something about the way he watches her gives Sakura more courage.

Itachi's always jumping in, taking the lead, and saving them both. When they are in public, he almost always initiates any actions. This time, the burden lies with her. Itachi seems to sense as much. What would a wife do if she saw her husband off on a mission?

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Itachi reminds her.

Sakura almost snorts because, really, her partner is too stupidly kind.

"I know that," she says.

He's already so close. His face is right here.

"I know that," she says to herself, quiet and truthful.

If Itachi is going to leave her with thoughts of being held through the night and running away together. She's going to leave him with something too.

Itachi starts to make a move. His hair touches the side of her face. A sudden tension heightens her desire. She wants this. She wants to do this. The way her heart drums in her chest lets Sakura know she's going to do it. When Itachi sucks in the air with such anticipation, it makes her decision easy. Sakura pivots, a dangerously seductive tilt of her chin that brushes their lips together. Itachi tenses for several seconds then the hand on her cheek slips to the back of her neck, tangling in her hair.

It's a short kiss, feather soft and tender but wrought with as much feeling as Sakura can muster. Don't get hurt. I'll be worried. I'll miss you. He eases her worries with gentleness until their one soft kiss turns into several little ones on her lips and at the corners until Sakura smiles and giggles because it tickles.

When he pulls back, Itachi's face is just as rosy as hers.

"Come home safe, okay?" it's all she can think to say.

Itachi places one final chaste kiss on her forehead. "I've always come back to you. Always. If that's not enough, I still owe you a reply. Wait for me a little longer?"

"For as long as you need," Sakura promises.

Itachi let's go first. Sakura takes several steps back, remembering they are not alone.

Ino eases her way up to them, all cheeky smiles. "Ready, Itachi?"

He nods once, giving Sakura one final glance before turning his attention to the opened gate. She and Sai stand side by side, watching their partners disappear into the forest. She fights against crying all over again, hiding her clenched hands behind her back.

'You keep me steady'. Itachi said. So Sakura tries her best to be strong.

Sai offers to walk her home, but Sakura chooses to go alone. Once inside, the place is unnaturally quiet.

She scans all of the things that make this place home. The sofa. The coffee table. The mantle of pictures. Little knick-knacks and decorations add color and liveliness. Itachi's neatly packed shoji board resting on top of one of the end tables. The remnants of breakfast and her rushing out of the house.

For all the things that make this place homey, Sakura can tell that something's missing. It's not even been thirty minutes, and I miss him already.

She wraps her arms around herself, drifting through the downstairs portion of their home. It's too early to start moping. Itachi made his choice. Now it's my turn to do what I can while he's gone.

Despite her uncertainties, Sakura does her best to cheer up. She cleans the kitchen, putting away dishes, sweeping, and mopping until the smell of breakfast gets replaced by household cleaners. She has work in the hospital today, her first official day back on the medical floor.

Honaka will be there…

She remembers while walking upstairs to get changed. A wave of selfish convictions puts Sakura on the defensive. So caught in her and Itachi's moments together that Sakura forgets how all of this started. They grew closer because Itachi taught her how he would court Honoka. Is he still considering going through with it?

Sakura pauses at the top of the stairs, staring at their closed bedroom door. Their bed is in that room, the same place Itachi wrapped her in his arms all night. Where he poured out his fears and failures, then confessed that she was important to him. Important how? Important enough to put the mission aside?

The medical jounin groans and then pivots to lean against the wall. No fair, Sakura. Itachi was ready to do the mission as is. You're the reason Honoka became an option in the first place.

She reaches up to touch her lips. Itachi gave as much as she did. Even though it wasn't a passionate kiss by any means, it felt genuine. Like Sakura merely caught him by surprise. Like this was something they did all the time. Hold each other, and talk nonsense like running away from Konoha together. It felt real. Some part of Sakura hoped they weren't pretending. While another part recognizes the responsibility associated with being with Itachi.

Do I want kids now? I'd have to make the choice now because our mission only gives me a handful of months to get pregnant. Two months of which Itachi won't even be here! My whole life would change by the end of the year.

Sakura's stomach knots and she tilts her head back to stare hopelessly at the ceiling. That's so fast. I've barely wrapped my head around the fact that I have feelings for Itachi. All of this is assuming Itachi cares about me like that. He'll do it for the mission. I know that much. Would he do it because he wants to have children with me? Too much, too much, too soon! It's too early to be thinking about kids and love. I have two whole months to figure myself out.

She grins her back teeth, trying to tilt her thoughts in a less romantic direction. It's not as if Honoka knows. I don't need to be weird around her at work. Just...be nice. Be nice, Sakura.

Having her mindset affixed in a less romantic direction, Sakura pushes off the way, opens the bedroom door, and startles at the assorted bouquet sitting on her nightstand that was not there last night.

Holy shit.

She checks behind her to make sure no one else is around before realizing she's home alone. Placing a hand on her chest, she inhales.

Why am I nervous? It's just a bouquet. We've done this before.

At some point, before they left, Itachi replaced her wilted sweet pea and chrysanthemums. He added new fern leaves and the same hydrangeas on her office desk. He even bought a new vase, clear with a pinkish tint when hit by the light. Sakura takes tentative steps toward the colorful bouquet. As she gets closer, something else sticks to her.

"What is this?"

She mistook it for a chrysanthemum. Once the vase is in her hands, Sakura knows what it is. Next to a blushing pink hydrangea is a pure white daisy sending a simple message. Sakura holds Itachi's secret, and he's grateful to her for it.

She lays her nose on the flowers, inhaling their earthy floral scent. He's so sweet sometimes.

When she lifts her head, the flowers shift a little. A flicker of white peeks out amongst the green stems.

What, wait?

Sakura carefully digs through until she feels the petals on her finger. With a gentle tug, she pulls up two craftily concealed daises.

Two secrets that have yet to be revealed.

Sakura has a sneaking suspicion that one is his and the other is hers.

---

A/N: Originally, I planned for this to be two separate chapters. But, then I was like, no! My babies waited long enough! Honestly, Itachi and Sakura waited long enough as well. Twenty chapters in, and they FINALLY kiss. It's like watching a K-drama with all the build-up to a soft smooch. Give our traditional boy some credit. He's making peace with himself, leaving bouquets around the house and whatever. And Sakura's a little too nervous to fully commit her feelings. Don't worry, my dears, our traditional boy will make himself very clear in the next few chapters. Line 20: Pink Camillas will say it all!

As Mikoto said in her journal in Line 11 "For best results, arrange for pink Camillas to be sent during missions so she knows she is missed."

Ferns-Home/shelter

-CeCe^^

Word Count: 24,792 (longest chapter by far!)

Musical Inspiration: "Shelter" by Ray Lamontage, "Flower of the Universe" and "The Safest Place"- by Sade, "Past lives", no idea who sings this song.