Chapter 11: Self-Disgust
Before Dionysus' 10th birthday…
The saltwater suffocated Dionysus' lungs. His limbs, now drained pieces of pine, weighted his bones. Vines soaked around him. Heavy ship debris drowned with him. Porpoises swam as fast from the drowning demigod as they could.
Dionysus hated himself.
Hated himself for veering away from the retinue. And for what? Just to nap on one of the Roman Riviera beaches? He made himself easy bait for the Tyrrhenian pirates.
He tried everything, like Silenus had told him if he'd ever gotten kidnap. Claiming to be a commoner with stolen fancy clothes. Crying his brains out. One of the pirates had kicked him to shut him up.
The captain smugly told the child that they'd get a fine reward when he was delivered in chains…
Dionysus had lost it…
He blackened out. All he could focus on was the agonizing, Titan-size pain going through him… and the satisfaction of the pirates' comeuppance…
And what great satisfaction it was! Pops and his brother would never know he drowned in the Mediterranean Sea. Poseidon was unheard of for years, damning the Mortal Realm to uncontrolled sea storms. Dionysus felt torn apart as the currents dragged him like a ragdoll.
Nyx's darkness overwhelmed him…
Mommy…
Dionysus was going to die. He never got to meet Semele.
The darkness felt heavier.
Seven stars glowed in the darkness. Was Dionysus joining Ouranos in the eternal sky? Two suns shined at him. When did Helios get a twin?
The stars lifted him from the darkness. Dionysus unconsciously coughed out water.
He couldn't hear the specific words being addressed to him… He couldn't separate the odors… Who knew how much time he spent unconscious?
It started to smell like hay.
"WAKE UP, YOU DORK!"
The slap on the cheek? He felt that!
"WHA…" Dionysus sat up in shock.
For one, he was relieved to be out of the sea. He wasn't sure how to feel to wake up in some sort of subterranean chamber reeking of dried mud, hay… and mortal blood.
Dionysus squinted. He still felt drowsy…
"No, no! No more sleeping!" Two hands slapped his cheeks again. "WAKE UP!"
"EESH! What is wrong with you?" Dionysus grabbed the girl's wrists to keep them away.
He loosened his hold when his chaotic eyes met her golden ones.
Golden orbs, constantly shining like the Sun despite the underground chamber's darkness. Dionysus had seen those eyes…
"You got pretty eyes." Dionysus spoke too fast.
"Ari got pretty eyes." Someone slightly taller than Dionysus and the girl stomped inside the chamber, a basket filled with fruits and bread at hand.
Dionysus crawled back when the chamber's sole torch illuminated the child's golden-locked bull head. "Oh, I am SO drunk and dead!" He exclaimed. "Did I die with a bull head as well?" He pointed at the girl. "How come you don't have one?"
"Ari got horns. Only out when Ari really angry." The creature stomped and slouched, clumsily dropping the basket. "Aster sorry."
"It's OK, Asterion." The girl picked up the food. "Why don't you check on the labyrinth? Make sure the guards didn't notice you getting a basket from Phaedra?"
"But Aster want say hello to fertility god."
Dionysus felt like he was still drowning in the sea.
He tried laughing it off. "Me? A fertility god? That'd be my best lie!"
"Your best lie would be if you think I was stupid enough to not see right through you." Ari glared at him. The white in her eyes reddened, leaving her golden orbs to shine more… As if the Sun still shined in a red sky… Dionysus remembered why Nysa's foliage concealed the Sun's view. Why Silenus made sure Dionysus was cloaked if the retinue moved on sunny days in Greece. Sun gods in other pantheons, Silenus tolerated, but he never wanted any Greco-Roman sun god to spot the young fertility god.
"Please don't turn me to Zeus…" Dionysus whimpered.
"Why would we do that?" Ari tilted her head.
The demigod cowered further against the wall.
"Ari scaring god," the bull-headed child spoke up.
"But I wasn't trying to!"
"God don't know we're Minoan."
The 'Minoan' part caused Dionysus to calm down a bit.
Even in Nysa, Silenus couldn't explain the true nature of the Minoans. Other pantheon deities couldn't put a pin on the roots either. From the stories Dionysus had heard, Minoans were primarily in the Aegean islands, the biggest population in Crete. Greek mortals rudely called them 'Minos' kin'. Like King Minos had branded a civilization in his name. Egypt knew the Minoan people of Crete to be a solar empire. Asia Minor and Persia were positive that the people were their descendants: while Minoans had the Greeks' mortal brown skin, Nyx had blessed her darkness onto their hair.
"Am… I in Crete?" Dionysus crossed his legs as he sat up.
"No, Ithaca." Ari snarked.
Dionysus stared at his well-bandaged arms. He then saw the bruise underneath Ari's golden eyes.
"What happened to you?"
"Minos beat Ari. Ari don't cry when Minos hit her."
"Why would the King of Crete hit a kid?"
"Did you grow in a rock?" Ari pointed at her eyes. "You know nothing about King Minos?"
"I heard he's a bitch?"
Ari bit her mouth.
"Uh… obsessed with his beard?"
She bit her lip harder.
"Apparently his dick's filled with bugs?"
He heard the stiffened laughs behind her closed mouth. Dionysus stretched his arms out and tickled Ari's stomach. The giggles exploded out of her. Asterion just snatched a fruit from the basket.
"Don't do that!" Ari's giggles shifted into a frustrated, serious one. "OK! I'm serious!"
"Angry much?" Dionysus smirked.
"I can break your bone…" She clutched her fingers.
Asterion looked upward. Keeping the fruit in his mouth, he grabbed a nearby staff and used it to prop down a small, circular trapdoor. A small, round opening with small moon rays passing through the bars. Dionysus stumbled out of the hay bed to get a better look. Asterion caught him when he tripped and helped the demigod see. The small opening was big enough for a rabbit to fall in, perhaps larger if a mouse fell through the bars. The opening showed some sort of… cavern. A cavern with hundreds of doorways. The moonlight shined on the hanging skeletons.
"You're sure I'm not in the Underworld?" Dionysus asked.
"In Labyrinth." Asterion soke sadly. "Aster's room."
"Your… room." The demigod enunciated.
"Minos' 'special suite' just for Asterion," Ari sounded spiteful. "Asterion got into the habit of keeping his meals' bones."
"Skeletons are only friends," Aster said.
"Asterion, we talked about this. You can't be friends with the corpses of the people you eat."
"Time out!" Dionysus made a T-shape with his hands. "I need context, 'cause, I'm still confused. Why is Minos bullying you guys, what happened before I woke up, why am underground, and WHO are you people?"
"You really don't follow the news." Ari flicked his forehead. "Answer for first and last questions: the royal family is messed up. WE are part of the royal family."
"Aster's mommy is Ari's mommy." The bull-headed child ate his fruit.
"He's my half-brother. Minos offended Poseidon, so his wife Pasiphaë got active with a bull… Divine revenge."
"Mommy gave birth to Ari, Phae, and Aster."
"Asterion's known as the Minotaur."
"Ari REALLY good at magic. Doesn't show it to her family."
"Asterion started to eat flesh, so Minos had Daedalus build this nightmare of a Labyrinth. Keeps Asterion from leaving AND traps Athenians for Asterion to eat."
"Da not too mean. Ari give Da gold, Da give Aster lower level lower than underground labyrinth level. Lower level private. VIP!"
"Minos won't let Asterion leave the maze and my parents don't like that I visit him."
"Mommy can't move walls like Ari." Asterion trotted away. "Aster need to check labyrinth. Case Minos sends guards. Way past Ari's curfew."
"Try to eat just one guard. You ate a whole squad."
Ari's lips blew a kiss. Dionysus thought she was blowing it for her brother. Asterion's words made more sense when the wall by Asterion opened up where Ari's kiss touched it. Asterion galloped into the new pathway, the stone wall closing behind him.
"I still feel like I'm in the Underworld."
"You'd actually be there if the waves hadn't dragged your body and the debris of the pirate ship."
Dionysus tensed. "They're not here, are they?"
"Relax, Minoans can't speak porpoise." Ari snorted. She pushed another wall. This time, daylight could be seen from the small opening. "You're awake, so you can get out. You need to leave Crete."
"Wow. Great xenia."
Ari grabbed his wrist and led him down the path. The stone steps turned into an uneven pathway of rocks that led straight to an open-air grotto. Dionysus recognized the saltwater smell.
"You REALLY can't stay in Crete. I don't want my parents to find out that I healed a fertility god AND a son of Zeus in the labyrinth." Ari let go of him.
"Seriously? How'd you come up with these fantasies?" Dionysus ran after her, desperately trying to keep up a lie.
"Dork AND an idiot? My mother's Pasiphaë."
Dionysus just stared at her.
"Circe and Medea ring a bell?"
"Well, EVERYONE knows them! Fake host transforming men and serial royalty killer."
"Yeah, the fake host transforming men is my aunt. The serial royalty killer is my cousin. Her dad's my mother's brother, but we don't talk about him…"
"Circe's your aunt…" Dionysus realized. "That explains so much! If Circe's your mom's sis, that means Helios is your grandpa! Your eyes explain so much! I was told sun deities could see everything. Is that how you found out?"
They stepped out of the grotto's entrance, right into a beach leading straight to the Mediterranean. Ari quickly checked the sky. Dionysus almost wondered what she was scouting for. Then he saw Helios marching in the west, probably heading to Rome.
"Do you need a boat?" Ari asked.
To answer her question, Dionysus shifted into a purple seagull.
"Showoff."
He gasped at her scoff. "It impresses everyone!" He turned back into his usual form.
"I've seen anything. Your once-in-a-lifetime only performance doesn't impress me."
"You sure are a critic, Angry." The demigod snorted. "Angry's a better name for ya than Ari."
"It's short for Ariadne." The half-Titan glared.
"Angryadne! Even better!" He laughed and shook her hand. "I'm Dionysus!"
"More like Dorknysus." She slapped his handshake away and pushed him towards the sea. "Seriously! Leave! Go back to wherever you're supposed to be!"
"Hold on!" Dionysus pushed her back.
"What part of 'you can't stay in Crete' escapes you?" Ariadne exclaimed, her hair burning up. Descendants of sun gods always had that solar glow, but Helios? Ariadne's wrath gave her dark locks the flares of a supernova. Bovine horns emerged from her locks.
The sudden heat made him sneeze. Whatever pollen Crete had, it caused him to merge it with his sneeze. Ariadne's flames got blown away. Thousands of small purple petals floated around.
In his sneeze, Dionysus accidentally summoned an amount of crocus flowers. Such an amount could decorate a bull for a festival. Ariadne looked at all the flowers.
"Uh…"
"I'm really sorry!" Dionysus brushed the crocuses off Ariadne. "Extreme heat makes me sneeze, I caught some pollen, I didn't mean to do that, and you looked awesome and cute before and after my sneeze!"
"I'm fine…" Ariadne scooped up some crocuses in her hands. "No one's sneezed flowers onto my fiery hair."
"Good thing you're still not on fire! You'd smell like smoked saffron!" Dionysus sighed. "I'm sorry… I know you want me to go, but… You and your bro helped me. I just… It's not…"
Why is his chest heavier than usual? Making friends is like cake to him!"
"If I… try to see you in a month from now, to… To show I'm still alive… And taking care… Would you want to hang out?"
Ariadne frowned. "No."
Dionysus pouted.
"It's not personal." Ariadne's fingers fidgeted with a crocus. "My mother… My aunt… My cousin… The witches of Helios' legacy have no good experience with men. They get easily…"
"Great Gaia, I'm not even ten yet!" Dionysus nearly ripped his cheek's skin off. Leaves puffed out of his hair.
Ariadne tilted her head. "I was gonna say 'they don't stay'. Trust me, my parents' marriage's sucks, my aunt's sole crush was already dedicated to his own wife, and DON'T get me started with Medea's ex!"
"Uh, no. I've heard enough about that trash." Dionysus fidgeted his fingers nervously. "Still… CAN I see you?"
She frowned at him.
"Well, what could convince you that I just want to see you again?" He leaned in. "That I have no tricks, no cheating, and no anything that could hurt your feelings? Because I REALLY think we can be friends, and if I turn out to be a moron, you can curse me as you please."
Her eyebrows slightly arched.
"Maybe I could send you something from wherever I am? Like a plant!"
"A… plant?" She enunciated.
"Yeah! My Pops' retinue goes all around the Mediterranean, with some detours to the Celtic lands! We were by the Roman Riviera when the pirates snatched me. We usually make it back to Nysa in time for my birthday, but, you know, delays. I'm still bummed that we haven't gotten to…"
Ariadne slammed her hand onto his mouth, shutting him up.
"I can't convince you that coming back here is a bad idea, right?"
Dionysus nodded. She pulled her hand away just to poke his nose.
"One month from now. Samaria Gorge. Don't be late."
Dionysus squealed.
"AND!" Ariadne reached behind her neck to unclasp the necklace tucked underneath her dress' collar. The golden pendant shined from its carving of Helios' halo. Combined with the twilight glow of the centered nazar, the pendant gave off the beauty of sunrays at sunset and sunrise. Ariadne whispered something against the pendant before pulling it off her. Its glow disappeared once it left her skin.
"The Sun will always give you light with this." Dionysus felt her fingers go behind his neck, clasping the pendant. "The real Sun. Not the faker."
"Your… family's heirloom?" Dionysus touched the pendant, feeling its warmth. "Won't you get in trouble?"
"No, we have several. Besides their family-only glow, the amulets come with shielding magic to the wearers when given willingly by the original owners," Ariadne said. "Since I'm giving it to you, it comes with a protection spell."
"Why would you give me a protection spell?"
"Because solar deities or people blessed by them can see right through auras. Revealing true natures. No one could tell you're a fertility god while you wear it."
"Besides you."
"Besides me. Now go!"
…
Back to present
Ariadne's pendant stuck against Dionysus' skin as she stepped out of the bath. She sat down on the toilet, hugging herself with a towel. Persephone knelt down, prepping a pad for an underwear.
"You sure you're OK with getting your necklace wet?" Persephone asked.
"I'm OK." Dionysus opened her legs to have a peak. She gagged in disgust before slipping on the now protected underwear. "Huh. I feel like a baby in those fake greeting cards mothers get from their suck-up friends!"
"It's just to make you comfortable. It only happens once a month… Unless you get the male thing. Hades can help you with that." Persephone wrapped the demigod's hair in a towel to help it dry. "We also did some clothes shopping."
"Uh… Is this the part where you try to get me to embrace a gender by…" Dionysus almost knew what to expect… until Auntie Persephone led him out of the bathroom and into her and Uncle Hades' room. The first thing he saw was the pile of clothes on the bed. Shirts, dresses, pants, leggings, jackets, accessories… A clothing junkyard on the royal bed. "OK, now I'm confused, and I'm the king of madness."
"Exactly!" Persephone waved at the messy pile. "It's a HUGE mess of mixed expectations and magazine brainwashing! And I have NO idea what to do with it!" She pulled out a black, long-sleeved dress, the kind mothers forced their daughters to wear at teatime. "I mean, look at this! I don't even think you'd like long-sleeves!"
"Uh, no!" Dionysus scoffed. "I'd only do one sleeve!"
"Exactly! And these leggings?" She waved some lavender-colored leggings. "I thought it was your color, but I couldn't find any green-and-purple leggings! You think we can tie dye?"
Dionysus noticed the sewing kit by the bed's foot. He slid and grabbed it. "You should get out, Auntie Persephone. I need to fix this mess."
"Good! Because this mess will become part of you!" Persephone grinned. "Ruin the rules of fashion, you make YOURS!"
"Auntie," Dionysus warned, a pair of scissors at hand.
"Those are sharp scissors," the goddess said in a sudden calm voice. "I can't exactly leave you unsupervised with it."
Dionysus snatched the black dress off Persephone's hold. In one snip, the whole left sleeve fell to the ground.
The purple leggings got the left leg cut.
A dress was ripped to shreds, sparing only the embroidered flowers.
A tacky jacket with leopard spots endured an enchanted color swap, becoming black while the spots became a gradient of green and purple.
A white shirt was ripped at midriff level. Some of the embroidered flowers Dionysus had spared earlier sewed themselves around the shirt in snake patterns as if to constrict the wearer.
"You're really creative!" Persephone applauded. "You make clothes back at Nysa?"
"Eh. You learn to patch a few tunics and fur skins, foreign textiles, and clean stains after bacchanals." Dionysus dug through the remaining clothes. "I'm also a bit of a drama ruler."
"Hm, I wouldn't say you're a drama ruler… A bit excitable…"
"I meant a literal drama ruler, Auntie Persephone." Dionysus tapped her hand over her chest. "I make mortal theatrics better! Tragedies, comedies, the occasional music numbers, AND costume designs!"
Dionysus suddenly realized the coldness on her skin. She glanced downwards…
"Have I seriously been going through one of my creative crazes in only an underwear?"
Persephone laughed in her nod. Dionysus slipped on the white shirt with floral snakes she'd just made minutes ago. Curious, she looked at her reflection in the nearby mirror. The white fabric transformed into black glitter once Dionysus' reflection grimaced. Dionysus hugged herself, the embroidered flower snakes transforming into vipers with embroidered crocuses. A crown of black grapevines grew in her purple locks.
"Dio?" Persephone got up.
Dionysus turned to look at his aunt, his hand scratching his cheek.
"Are you concerned about something?" Persephone asked.
Great Gaia…
In the mirror, Dionysus nearly thought he was hallucinating the past.
A past that wasn't even his…
Yet one that brought so much pain…
His fist shattered the mirror.
"Dio!" Persephone gasped. "Why would you hurt yourself?"
"Hurt myself…" Dio chuckled. He could only imagine how his sudden laughter lacking any childlike innocence could shock the Queen of the Underworld. "You're worried about me hurting myself… I find it SOOOO… FUCKING amusing, in my most sarcastic way, how you are such a wonderful goddess… and the bitches who've caused you so much strife are still waltzing around." He waved his arms, his eyes becoming the vortex of ecstasy boiling in him. "I mean, FUCKING PHOEBUS! STILL waltzing around like a golden boy! After everything! Where's the consequences of his disrespect?"
Persephone gasped.
"It was you…" She shook her head. "Dionysus… why would…"
"I mean it on the River Styx, Auntie Persephone, I didn't mean to hurt you on live TV," Dionysus looked sadly at his auntie. "But… the purple doodoo made it personal before I even met you. Then he made it worse. He's never met me… he's gonna wish he never did."
"You got… the information from the Fates…" Dionysus saw how Persephone stared at his grapevine crown. Her eyes turned red. "You bribed the Mistresses of Destiny with your wine?"
"It tastes better than the Olympian manufactured crap." Dionysus shrugged. With a wave, the clothes on the remaining pile transformed into his preferred wardrobe. "Besides, they expected me to bribe them."
"And AURA?"
"I'm full of tricks." For fifteen seconds, the Naiad AURA stood where the demigod should be. Dionysus then transformed back into herself. "I guess it's a thing I got from Zeus that the purple doodoo clearly never got."
"And your idea is to bribe the Fates and shapeshift to reveal information on live television?" Persephone shook off her wrath. Her arms held out to the demigod. "Dio, I don't want you to get in trouble because of me!"
"I know you don't… but until the purple doodoo's properly punished… and until good ol' Zeus admits he was wrong…" Purple and green pollen floated out of his hair, trailing towards Persephone. She coughed in the floral cloud, fainting on the bed.
"Best you don't know… for now." Dionysus inhaled the pollen cloud away from Persephone. "I'll tell you later."
Persephone's eyes fluttered. "Uh…"
"Auntie Persephone, are you OK?" Dionysus gave a believable gasp. "You suddenly fainted!"
"Did I?" Persephone looked around.
"It's probably my fault. Pops says I can be very overwhelming…"
"Oh, you're not overwhelming, sweetie." Persephone ruffled the demigod's hair. Dionysus felt her guilty stomach tightening. "Maybe I got a bit overexcited as well. It's getting late anyway…"
"Maybe I should go home…" Dionysus lowered her head.
I'm really disgusting…
Persephone gently wrapped her arm over Dionysus' shoulders. Both walked closely back to the others. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
Tell her anything? I LITERALLY just wiped the Queen of the Underworld's memory about my obvious guilt!
"Well…"
Retribution on the purple doodoo feels like honey to the fucking vinegar I just pulled! Me and my screwed up mind!
"You're not still mad at your brother, are you?"
Oh Gaia, did it not work? Wait… WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK ME THAT? WE BOTH HATE HIM!
"When Silenus told me what Pan said…"
Dionysus blinked. "Pan? What about Pan?"
"Well, from what your Pops told me, your brother… might have said something about a friend of yours not liking your… new identity." Persephone gently placed her hand underneath Dionysus' cheeks. "If you're worried about it, just ask your friend. I really hope your friend appreciates you the way Hades and I do. You're a really sweet child…"
The pink goddess quickly got replaced by a mortal shade. The pearl bands holding her hair together broke apart as her ghost tried to hug Dionysus lovingly.
Dionysus felt his heart on override.
Black grapevines started to emerge throughout the Underworld again.
He stumbled into the living room. Hades, Silenus, Pan, and Hestia looked up from their card game.
"Dionysus?" Silenus got up.
The demigod just backed away from the immortals nearest him.
All he could hear were the echoes.
"Kore, what happened?"
"I don't know! I just talked to him, and he suddenly got terrified!"
"Pops, I think Dio's freaking out!"
"Is Dionysus alright?"
Dionysus felt his breathing get heavier. His heartbeats louder.
…
Dionysus let the green flames consume him.
Nyx consumed him until she spit him out in a cloud of ash.
He landed on the cold floor. Her body left ashy stains as she tumbled. His coughing was stifled by the thunder coming from the outdoor storm.
He couldn't hear the muffled voice. He felt the cold water splashing against him.
"What are you doing?" He looked up, recognizing Ariadne's golden orbs. "It's not Sunday! Why are you in my room?"
The ashes darkened Dionysus' tears. His arms wrapped around Ariadne, startling her with his sudden hug.
"What?" The Cretan princess was confused.
Dionysus felt her breathing leading to concern. "Dionysus… are you alright?"
"No." Dionysus pulled away from Ariadne.
"You smell like death… Wait, you're not dead, are you?" In a panic, Ariadne checked his pulse and his heartbeat. "Jeez, I almost thought I went crazy! You realize I'd fall into deeper madness if you died?"
He weakly whimpered.
"Dionysus?" Ariadne asked. "Why aren't… Why aren't you your usual chaotic self? What happened?"
"I'm disgusting… and a mess." Dionysus sniffed. "I know it's not Sunday, but… Can I stay with you tonight?"