Chapter 1: Making a Splash

Treat your cardboard box with care. Take care of the box and it'll take care of you.

- Solid Snake

M.S. Solar - Cargo Hold

"…!"

Lea struggled in the claws of the monster crab which scuttled on the cargo hold, her hands straining to break free of the vice grip with which the crab lifted her in the air.

Her heart pounding wildly with panic as it roared wildly in triumph, her eyes wide as she tried to twist her face away from the blue faced man floating in the air, who stared down at her with a superior grin.

The Blue Man bellowed, throwing his hands in the air,

"And there we have it! The Master of the world teaches the peasants where they truly belong!" He gave Lea a sinister smile, "now off with you, to where you truly belong-"

"I've heard enough of your yammering!"

Lea saw Captain Jet flying in the air, a missile launcher over his shoulders and smiled with hope.

Oh yeah!

Boom!

Blast!

The digital smoke cleared to reveal…

The Blue Man smirking back nonchalantly, his orange robe raised before him and which'd morphed into a solid and metallic black.

Captain Jet blinked in shock before glaring, "what in tarnation? The payload would've disintegrated all Instant Matter." He growled, "what are you?"

Lea gulped as she saw the madman throw his head back and laugh.

O-Oh crap…

"A valiant attempt, however," sneering with contempt, the Blue Man declared, "the armour of the Gods cannot be pierced by mere mortal weapons-!"

Bzzt!

The Blue Man frowned at that sound of Matter being materialised, he looked up, saw a sheet of brown getting closer right above him and-

"Gah-!"

Bonk!

A cardboard box hit him smacked right into his face. Slamming straight into him, dragging him down along with it and-

Thwack!

Crashing him to the deck along with it, with the man buried underneath and struggling to get up.

"C-Cease this blasphemy!" The Blue Man squawked, decidedly sounding way less threatening when buried under a cardboard box. "H-Hrrk! Displace yourself from our person!" He said, straining to push himself off the ground while under the box.

Captain Jet frowned, muttering as he floated via jet pack, "what in the seven seas?"

And feeling quite ignored, and oddly miffed that she went from the star of a kidnapping to the audience of whatever this was, Lea wiggled in the crab's claws and called out, "H-Hi!"

Rescue? Any day now?

The Blue Man growled and threw his hand at the Crab, "Beast of War! Perforate and remove this offensive utility from upon us!" His glasses gleamed, "active the invisible implements!"

"RAAAAWR!"

The crab raised its free claw, all colour drained from it as it hardened to a thick black, and then with a swift thrust, it let loose its claw upon the cardboard box-

The Blue Man smiled with malice as the claw sailed for the Box-

Swipe!

The Blue Man stared in horror as the Box hopped back and held him sitting up as a shield - his back sticking to the Box as if held by tape - The Blue Man sputtered at the advancing claw, "n-no, wait-!"

Bam!

"Aaaaah!"

He roared sailing away like a rocket, chunks of his Instant Matter falling off from that head on collision with the claw.

Lea tilted her head, giving the Box an impressed look.

Box got the moves.

While Captain Jet grumbled about clowns messing on his ship.

But the Crab wasn't done yet, with a roar it pulled back it's claw for another thrust-

Tug!

Its arm didn't budge as it tried to pull it.

Tug! Tug!

Nope, still didn't move.

Peering closer, Lea saw long rope-like trails of tape coming out from the Cardboard Box's small rectangular air-hole near its top. Tape which was tightly bound to the claw and holding it close to the Box.

"RAAAWR!"

"H-Hiiii!"

Lea yelled in fright as the crab decided to throw the claw holding her at the Box! Her face flinching as wind rushed at her as the claw swung at the Box.

Hop!

Box jumped right at the moment of impact! The claw missing it by an inch!

Slash!

The Box spun in the air, its edges scraping against the limb between the claw and the arm-

Thump!

"H-Hii!"

Lea yelped as she unceremoniously tumbled to the ground and rolled to a stop. Shaking her head and sitting up, she blinked as her hands rose free, no longer bound. And when she saw what lay about her, her jaw dropped.

The claw which'd been holding her… was torn off the crab in a clean slash. Disappearing into the ether as digitised cubes.

The Box wasn't done yet, as it continued spinning on the rest of the limb towards the Crab, each spin slashing off more and more as it advanced.

"RAAAWR!"

Throwing all caution to the wind, the Crab, hurled itself off the ground, its legs bending and launching it towering over the Box to crush it beneath it-

Schiiing!

And then a sword slid out of Box's hole, launched up, stabbing the Crab right in its midsection and throwing it up the air, and passing out the other end.

Snap!

A roll of tape caught on the crab and swung Box to rise above the Crab, grab onto it's sailing sword before it flew away, hold it in it's slit of a hole and then-

Plunge!

Crash!

Box stabbed the Crab, splitting it into two clean halves and-

Boom!

They exploded into bright fumes right as Box landed on the ground, vanishing as the Instant Matter dissolved into data streams.

Hesitating for a moment, Lea cautiously made her way to the Box, becoming more at ease as the sword disappeared into itself. Stopping a few steps away, she gave it a cautious smile,

"Hi?"

Thanks for the save?

Box turned to look at her, the slit appearing like its eyes to Lea. Staying still as if mulling whether to respond, Box finally rose back and fell back down, its end rising and falling in an imitation of a nod.

Lea grinned, and crouched before it. Putting her hand out for a shake.

"Hi!"

"I'm Lea!"

…Bump.

Box lightly wiggled forward, bumped against her palm and then looked away in disinterest, staring at the sea.

Lea blinked.

…ooh. How can a box shake your hand? She smiled and drew her hand back. Oh well, fist bumps were cool too. She stared back at Box, following its gaze, curious what it was looking at and-

"H-Hi!"

She yelped and jumped back to her feet in fright, because what she saw was-

"BOOOOX!" An enraged roar screamed with a Blue Man, falling to bits as unstable Instant Matter hung off him, rushing back to the ship, flying over the water and glaring with fury, "It's not over yet!"

"Carla!" Captain Jet snapped, looking at the woman, "get the player off my ship! Now! "

And Carla quickly gathered Lea and began dragging her away, with Lea resisting a little as she glanced back at Box who just impassively sat there despite the danger, before Carla reminded her that she was the reason for the Blue Man's attack, and getting her away was the quickest way to get rid of him.

After seeing them leave , Captain Jet glanced with Box with a scowl, "my weapons are ineffective. Lend me a hand?" Box stayed still for a moment before hopping back and down, nodding. Captain Jet flew down to ground, and grabbed the bottom of the Box, grunting with effort as he tried to lift it, "grh! I'd charge you a pretty dime if you ever stowed away on my ship! How heavy are ye! Tch, waste of rocket fuel." He grumbled as the jets began humming behind him again, "I hope you know how to swim."

Box shifted, as if blinking.

"BOX!" The Blue Man erupted up the ship, flying before them, "we shall school you-"

"Only school for you is with the fish!" Captain Jet roared, his knees tightened, and the rocket-jet blasted from behind, "hrah!"

And he flipped Box into the air, right at the Blue Man, who stared and,

"Oh, give us a break -" Thud! "Gaah!"

He screamed as Box went down on him again, this time, pulling him down over the ship's rails and into the ocean!

"W-We will not forget this insult-!"

Bzzt!

And he dematerialised the moment he went underwater.

Along with Box.

Captain Jet immediately jumped over the railing himself, splashing into the ocean. To retrieve the one who'd saved him a lot of trouble.

But after he went under, seconds turned to minutes, and he splashed up again, taking a huge gulp of air and glaring through the water trickling down his hair. "Where the hell did it disappear to?" He grabbed the transmitter on his chest and barked into it, "I lost visual! Find Box with the underwater navigator!" Snapping the back to his chest, he stayed afloat for a few more moments before he began swimming back. Wondering if the Box itself was Instant Matter too.

Whatever the case, he'd like to have a sound word with it.

For jumping onto his ship without permission. Or more importantly.

Clearance.

Elsewhere - Rookie Harbor

Splashing up the water and tumbling onto the beach, Box, now a very wet cardboard, inched its way up the sands, shuffling forward with small hops.

And then, a sharp beep sounded from within.

Followed by a rough, dour voice.

"Command, reporting my status. I've successfully arrived in the simulation proper, and I've managed to avoid drowning."

A beep, and another voice said,

"Good job, Rai-"

"That's not my name… Whoever that was is dead, means nothing to me now. Just call me… Cardboard Box."

"Um… one moment." Some shuffling and muttered whispers, "Snake, are you sure this is healthy? …What do you mean trust the box? Sitting in cramped spaces is not therapy. …Oh yeah, sure, we know how well you turned out. That's not very convincing, Snake."

Box, growled,

"Otacon? I can hear you."

"Yeah, yeah. Good job, Cardboard Box. Your cringe hasn't slowed you down one bit."

"Whatever. I'm continuing the investigation."

"Want me to go over our objectives again, Box?"

"I know the drill. It's what we're always chasing, the bane of our lives."

Box hissed.

"Metal Gear."

Author's Note:

Yeaaaah. I know. Hah, where do people like me come from?

Let me know your thoughts on the chapter.

Take care.