Married… with a Useless Goddess 2
Disclaimers I don't own KonoSuba, please support any to all official releases, and against my promise, and by popular request and demand, I shall provide you guys with a traditional 3-shot, but then I have to get back writing my other fic's, now to the story.
Morning had broke and the suns rays were beaming on Kazuma's face, causing him to wake up and start his day early.
Turning his head, he was expecting the same reaction from Aqua, his new wife, but no she was still soundly asleep and the way she slept was a sight to see.
She slept with her mouth open, she had drool on the corner of her mouth, she had kicked the blankets off her as she slept with her legs wide open and one hand scratching her belly as she mumbled about eating food.
Something tells me she was a bum before a goddess, thought Kazuma as he was already starting his day judging his wife.
"Hey Aqua, get up" said Kazuma, "No, no please I couldn't have another bite, honestly" mumbled Aqua as Kazuma let out a huff and continued to nudge her.
"Hey Aqua, it's time to get up already" said Kazuma a little louder, "Hmm, what, what time is it" asked Aqua as she began to sit up and rub her eyes.
"Morning, now let's hurry up and get ready, grandpa is awake and has probably started making breakfast" said Kazuma as the word breakfast got her motivated.
Getting up, the couple decided to openly get changed in front of one another without a second thought, and halfway through getting herself dolled up, Aqua looked at the alarm clock in her room and went wide eye.
"Kazuma, it's not even seven in the morning, why are we getting up so early" exclaimed Aqua, "I told you, grandpa is awake and is getting breakfast ready, and probably has our day planned out already" said Kazuma.
"It's not even seven and we're getting up this early" whined Aqua, "Hey, grandpa has always been known to get up even before the ass crack of dawn as far as I remember, so seriously quit your bitching and get changed" said Kazuma as he was hit over the back of his head with Aqua's pajama's.
Turning his head around, Kazuma looked at Aqua menacingly as the goddess began to back away upon seeing the look Kazuma gave her.
"Hey Kazuma, listen I'm sorry for doing that alright" said Aqua trying to reason her husband from either committing his first act of domestic violence on her, or worse his sexual assault on her as the latter thought got her to hug herself tight as Kazuma continued to approach her.
"Please Kazuma, please be at least gentle with me, I at least want my first time to be romantic" cried Aqua as she was instantly greeted by the sudden feeling of her cheeks getting pinched and pulled so hard she was at her husband's mercy.
"Seriously, don't be blathering stupid crap like that first thing in the morning, you useless goddess" said Kazuma as he would not let up his assault, "I'm not useless you meanie" cried Aqua.
KONOSUBA
Once they finished getting changed, and Kazuma decided he was done bullying Aqua, the 2 joined Grandpa Satou for breakfast as he had already laid everything out.
"Morning boyo and my darling little granddaughter, about time you 2 got here" said Grandpa Satou, "Sorry about that grandpa" said Kazuma as he and Aqua sat down and began to enjoy breakfast at long last.
"So what have you planned for us today" asked Aqua, "Well, we're gonna go and hit up a few friends of mine to help my boyo here get his life back on track, cause so long as he remains dead legally on paper, his life is already harder, not mention he got married on the same day" said Grandpa Satou.
"Alright, so what do you need from me" asked Kazuma, "Take a shower, change into something presentable, so long as it's a button up, and make sure to bring you any to all documents regarding who you are boyo" instructed Grandpa Satou.
"What about me" asked Aqua, "Same thing, my dear" said Grandpa Satou as he drank some fresh hot tea before he realized Aqua grimaced a little.
"Something wrong" asked Grandpa Satou, "Yeah, the thing is I actually don't have any documentation, other than our marriage certificate" admitted Aqua as Kazuma was caught thinking of the same realization.
The realization being is that they're both married somehow, with one of them being legally dead, and the other without any form of documentation, not even a student ID.
Granted everything that did happen to them in these last 24 hours were true, with Kazuma dying and being given a second chance by the gods, and his wife being said goddess and both reluctant to get married to one another.
But still without any hard proof of evidence and in accordance with Aqua saying that they won't help us once they return back, than this is a recipe for disaster.
Damn it why couldn't I be reborn in another world, or hell that this shit happened to me with my death going unnoticed and my wife is a sexy badass like in those shounen anime, thought Kazuma as he felt that this was already a mountain of impossibilities.
"Hm, that maybe a bit of a challenge to our day" said Grandpa Satou as he thought about it for a minute before shrugging it off and going back to eating his breakfast.
"Not to worry, we'll figure things out" said Grandpa Satou with a smile as neither one bothered to ask what and why on the matter.
Once they finished breakfast, Kazuma and Aqua readied themselves to looking presentable, with Kazuma wearing his old school uniform and Aqua having been asked to wear one of Grandma Satou old kimonos.
Once they looked presentable, they all got together and took a cab into the other side of town, where it was mainly nothing but miles of small farms before reaching their destination.
Said destination was a large compound with the name 'Ryu Clan' written in gold could be read outside on the walls of the compound.
"Grandpa" asked Kazuma as he looked at his grandfather, "From here on don't be asking any unnecessary questions and only speak when you're spoken to" said Grandpa Satou as they all made it within the compound.
To Kazuma's surprise he could see mean in suits stop what they're doing and bowing their heads towards them, or at the very least his grandfather, but he doesn't know why since he was never in that Yakuza or any criminal syndicate for that matter, right.
Eventually they came inside the main household itself as a maid had lead them through to sit before a man who was roughly Grandpa Satou's age as he had a big smile.
"Kazama you old bastard, it's about time you came by to visit me" said the man as he began to pour them some whiskey instead of the stereotypically depicted Sake.
"Greetings Yusuke, it has indeed been a while my old friend" said Grandpa Satou as he sat down and shared a glass with his old friend.
"So how's business doing" asked Grandpa Satou, "Business has been doing great actually, just got the city to pass my plans to turn that old vacant lot into a new baseball field, construction should be starting soon" said Yusuke.
"Wow, it seems our dream of having our own town baseball may finally turn out to be true at long last" said Grandpa Satou with a smile as the energy these 2 gives wasn't either former employee or even business partner, but bros for life.
"So I know you came down here for a favor, what can I do for you old friend" said Yusuke, "Yes, well it's a bit of a challenge, but I need your help in order to get my grandsons life back on track" said Grandpa Satou.
"Is that who that boy is behind you, I thought he look like you, but who's the girl" asked Yusuke, "That would be his wife" said Grandpa Satou.
"Before I could agree to anything, this girl wouldn't happen to be related to any big wig politician or hell daughter to another clan now is she" asked Yusuke as he raised a brow.
"No, she's not" said Grandpa Satou as he turned to his grandchildren and waved them to get close to join them.
"Tell me son, what is your name" asked Yusuke, "My name is Satou Kazuma, and this is my wife Aqua" explained Kazuma with a bow.
"Nice to meet you, so tell me Kazuma, what exactly is the problem that's stopping you from going on and live your life" asked Yusuke.
"As of yesterday, I have been deemed and labeled as officially dead, in fact if you were to search up my name online you'll find it on the obituary" explained Kazuma.
"Ok, I see where this is going, is there anything else I should know" asked Yusuke, "Yes, on the day I 'died' was the same day that I got married, which I should mention now that my wife has no other form documentation regarding her existence" explained Kazuma.
"Wow, this sounds like a tall order indeed" said Yusuke as his eyes widen a little, "Please, we're willing to do anything if you could just help us out" said Kazuma as he bowed his head down alongside Aqua to show sincerity.
"Lift your heads up you 2, no need to grovel before me, for I agree to help you by any means necessary" said Yusuke as the couple looked up with a smile.
"Give me a few days to gather up the necessary connections for you son, and you can resume back to being 'alive' if you will, as for your wife, if you want I can give my personal physician a call, she'll be more than happy to take your wife's physical and wait to give us enough time so we can have her identification in order" said Yusuke as he decided to pour them all a drink.
Lifting their glasses up they shouted cheers before swigging the contents down to seal the deal.
Once they bid farewell, a limousine was waiting to give the couple a ride into town for Aqua's doctors appointment and finally a chance for Kazuma to ask his grandpa the big question.
"So grandpa, your friend is he…" trailed off Kazuma, "Yakuza, no, far from it actually" said Grandpa Satou.
"Yusuke is but one of the 4 micro clans that exist around Japan, and while not as powerful or as influential as the other 5 remaining ones, he still has some connections" said Grandpa Satou.
"So how do you know him" asked Aqua, "Me and him grew up and went to the same nursing school, all the way throughout high school, and to this day we remain as brother in arms" said Grandpa Satou.
"He was there for me and my family shortly after my father passed away from cancer, and I was there for him in making sure the prevention of his own clans abolishment" said Grandpa Satou.
Hearing this was fresh news to Kazuma as he has never heard nor was ever mentioned of Yusuke from either his grandfather or his father throughout all this time.
"But if you were friends with someone like that, why hasn't dad" began Kazuma but was cut off when his Grandfather answered the question.
"Why hasn't your father reached out and used his connections, he did try several times behind my back, but many times Yusuke would tell me of this and I would tell him not to comply with anything, simply because your father had no interest in making friends with him or ever paying him back, instead wanted to use the man's kindness for his own selfish gain" said Grandpa Satou as he frown a little at the memory.
"Promise me something boyo, don't be trying to take advantage of that man's kindness even after my death" said Grandpa Satou as he looked at Kazuma seriously.
"I promise" said Kazuma, "Good" said Grandpa Satou as they finally made it to the hospital.
KONOSUBA
After their visit from the hospital, which was a bit weird since the doctor insisted on giving Grandpa Satou a check up as well, they decided to walk around town and saw how this little community was striving in its own way.
While nothing like the big city, the town had its own game store, book shop, clothing store and thrift shop, but many of the businesses were mom and pop shops that either catered in food or clothing wear.
"Alright gramps what's for lunch" asked Aqua, "Now hold on my dear, we got one more thing to do before we can enjoy ourselves some good old barbecue" said Grandpa Satou.
"And what's that" asked Kazuma, "Listen to me boyo, I have no problem letting you and your wife stay and providing any necessary accommodations you may need, especially since I expect you to get back into school" said Grandpa Satou.
"However, you must get a job and learn to work for the things you plan to earn in life, cause grandpa ain't gonna be around forever, so it's best that you get a job now" said Grandpa Satou.
Hearing that he had to go back to school was something Kazuma had mentally prepared himself for, but work made him grimace.
"Sigh, all right grandpa what did you have in mind" asked Kazuma, "You're choice boyo, you can either work as either a construction man, work at the local bar and grill, or be a shoe salesmen" said Grandpa Satou.
Giving it some thought, Kazuma knew that construction just wasn't the job for him as he considered it as a last choice before hitting rock bottom, and so it came to working at either working as a busser or shoe salesmen.
Now working as said busser may not be so bad as he just needed to wait on tables and possibly take orders, but on days it got busy he'd probably panic.
As for working as a shoe salesmen, it doesn't seem all that hard as he'd probably get an hourly pay plus possible commission towards the amount of shoes he sold.
So it was obvious for Kazuma as he went to find the place his grandfather had arranged for him to work as he would start his first day as a shoe salesman tomorrow thinking it be an easy job, but more on that later.
After having a nice lunch, the group took a cab ride back home, where they all changed back into their normal clothing ware as Kazuma chilled in his room alongside Aqua.
"Hey Kazuma" said Aqua as she laid on the floor, "Yes I'm Kazuma" said Kazuma as he was setting up his gaming PC.
"I was just thinking, since you plan to work as a shoe salesman for the time being, I was wondering what I can do to pass the time" asked Aqua as Kazuma stopped what he was doing and thought on that for a second.
"I'm not sure how to answer that, why do you want to work" asked Kazuma, "Well it's not like I got anything better to do, plus I guess helping you make some extra money does fall under my requirements in helping you as your wife" reminded Aqua.
"That's true, plus I probably won't be making much bank once I get back into school, huh you know for someone who's been a major pain in the ass for the most part, you've got a good idea where your head is at in terms of our priorities" said Kazuma as he was impressed of Aqua thinking about the bigger picture for once.
"Hey I have you know that I'm always filled with great ideas with even greater intentions, even if they fall short sometimes" mumbled Aqua towards the end as her memories of the trial still remain fresh.
"I'm sorry, what was that you kinda mumbled towards the end" said Kazuma, "It's nothing you NEET" said Aqua as she stuck her tongue out.
"Whatever do me a favor and hand me the blue cable with the 2 HDMI cords on it" said Kazuma as Aqua went to grab the blue cable and handed it to Kazuma before he looked down and grimaced.
"I said the blue cable with the 2 HDMI cords on it, not the 2 Jax cords and aux" said Kazuma, "Oh sorry" said Aqua she went back to grab it, but as she was bending down Kazuma couldn't help but admire her ass.
"Here you go" said Aqua, "Thanks, also do you enjoy going commando or what" asked Kazuma as Aqua look offended by the question.
"What kind of question is that you pervert" said Aqua with a look of disgust, "Look if you want to go free lipping that's fine just don't be going out around that in public much less in front of the old man" said Kazuma.
"I'll have you know that I can turn my panties invisible from peeping eyes who think they can enjoy a free panty shot from someone as graceful as me" said Aqua.
"Yeah, well from a certain view point anyone can easily see your bare ass and then some" stated Kazuma, "I'm fine with that" retorted Aqua with a huff.
"Well I'm not, so do me a favor and either put on some pants or undo that spell already" said Kazuma, "What's the point of trying to undo a spell that's not even activated right now" said Aqua.
"Not even- wait a minute are you saying…" said Kazuma as he felt this conversation was pointless, "Yeah I'm actually not wearing any panties right now" said Aqua as she stuck her tongue out.
"Can you at least put on some pants than" huffed Kazuma, "I actually don't own a pair of pants, other than my pajama bottoms" said Aqua.
"Then here put on my sweats for the time being" said Kazuma, "No way, it would totally class with my current aesthetic" said Aqua.
"Than put on the tracksuit jacket" said Kazuma as he was getting tired of this conversation now, "No way, than I'll look like from goddess to boring old average countryside school girl" said Aqua.
"Hey that tracksuit isn't boring looking, it's stylish" defended Kazuma as this tracksuit is considered to be a part of him at this point, but Aqua turned her head away to ignore such an illogical lie.
"Damn it, put on some pants already!" exclaimed Kazuma as he grabbed the tracksuit pants and attempted to slide it on Aqua, who was fighting it from happening.
"No, I don't want to get pregnant" cried Aqua as she literally began to cry over the situation, "You're not gonna get pregnant and don't be shouting stupid shit like that, the old man might get the wrong idea" said Kazuma as he got Aqua to stick her feet in so far.
Unknown to the couple grandpa was hearing everything and had indeed got the wrong idea but seemed to smile at the thought of meeting his great grandchildren someday.
All right so a lot of you guys wanted more here's the second chapter for all those who want to enjoy it, next one will come shortly after yours truly experiences, voluntarily mind you, the definition of insanity.
Until next time, be safe, be good people, and please support your local fandom communities.
This has been your Humble Narrator and official author Tobi Yaza. =3