Married… With a Useless Goddess 5
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It was the night before the first day of school, Kazuma was on his way back home, Grandpa Satou was out drinking with his friends, and Aqua was left home alone setting not only her uniform but Kazuma's as well.
Yes it was a pain in the ass, but Aqua officially has her documentation in order and was quite excited to start her first day at school, especially since she found home life to be boring like every other house partner.
Yes she intends to find work soon, but only because both love having spending money, and mama has expensive taste.
"And done, clothes perm pressed and clean, sigh, I wonder when Kazuma will get here" asked Aqua out loud as if on cue, Kazuma finally came through the front door.
"Oh how I wish I was a damn egg and the world was a skillet about to smash me like some old 90's PSA commercial" said Kazuma as he began to take off his jacket and shoes.
"How was work today Kazuma" asked Aqua as she had his root beer ready in hand and the remote within arms reach so he could start his ritualistic rant.
"You want to know, I'll tell you, a fat woman came into the shoe store today, a regular of course, and this time she brought with her, her annoying brat of a child, who only seemed to serve the purpose to help further fuel and stress her out" began Kazuma as he walked his way towards the couch.
"Thankfully the little punk actually helped speed up the process of our usual bickering, and even helped me get the last laugh when he asked his mom to get him a balloon, so I pointed out to him that he already had a balloon, a 4 appendage red dress big mouth balloon filled with more hot air than a hot air balloon. Seriously I've no idea why I torture myself like this" said Kazuma as he sat down and stuck his hands down his pants.
"I'm sorry to hear that Kazuma, but hey on the bright side, you're only have to go to work only 3 days out of the week now" said Aqua with a smile as she handed him his root beer as Kazuma began to play Viva La Bam.
"Speaking of any luck in finding a job" asked Kazuma, "Yeah, I actually got hired to work as a greeter for the local strip mall on the other side of town" said Aqua with a smile.
"Nice, happy for you" said Kazuma as he took a sip from his root beer, " Thanks" said Aqua as she planted a kiss on Kazuma's cheek as they chilled for the rest of the night as their next milestone to their journey starts tomorrow.
Morning
Even though they had an ATV parked outside and their commute into town was severely cut into a mere fraction now, the couple had gotten used to getting up at an early hour, meaning it had given them enough time to get ready and look presentable.
Already fully dressed, Kazuma had finished not only making him and Aqua breakfast, but also their lunch, while Aqua was finishing getting dressed and grabbing her iPhone.
"Aqua, breaky is ready, so come and get it" called Kazuma, "I'm here" said Aqua as she finished sliding on her socks, before rushing her way to the kitchen table.
"You got everything you need" asked Kazuma, "Yeah, got my phone, school bag, everything I need" said Aqua as she began to pick at her egg on toast as Kazuma handed her bento box.
"Alright, and I've already got the keys to the ATV here" said Kazuma as he jingled said keys before pocketing them away and eating breakfast.
"Glad to see you and your wife taking charge boyo" said Grandpa Satou as he sat to join them for breakfast.
"So what have you got planned today Gramps" asked Kazuma, "What I do every day, enjoy my retirement in peace" said Grandpa Satou.
"Alright grandpa, also please don't forget to prerecord the new episode of the Walking Dead they're showing this afternoon" said Aqua, "I won't forget, now enough talk about zombies, you 2 need to be talking about school and school work" said Grandpa Satou.
"No worries grandpa, we'll be on top of it" said Kazuma, "Good boy, now let's hurry up and enjoy breakfast" said Grandpa Satou as they continued to eat in peace before it was time for them to go.
Once outside, Kazuma handed Aqua a white biker helmet while he put on some warped goggles over his eyes.
"Hang on tight" said Kazuma before Aqua nodding in agreement, before Kazuma started his drive into town and enjoyed the scenery.
Once they were about a mile away from the work, Kazuma pulled to the side to have a last minute pep talk.
"Everything good Kazuma" asked Aqua, "Yeah, just needed to tell you that please, and I mean please don't do anything stupid" said Kazuma bluntly.
"Excuse me" said Aqua as she felt really offended, "Please Aqua, just listen to me, and just think before you speak, that's all I'm asking you, this is not only a chance for us to continue on with our lives, but also my second chance of trying to have a highschool life, so please don't ruin this for me" said Kazuma as he whined a little towards the end.
"Whatever, my gracious presence is what got you to get your life going" said Aqua, "You know well as I do we're in this committed union because you happened to shot yourself in the foot with the other gods, and that's another thing, don't be telling people you're a goddess" said Kazuma.
"Kazuma I have enough common sense than to give away my identity as a holy deity to a bunch mortals" said Aqua, "Good, now let's hurry up, I want to figure out where our classes are and scope out the school grounds so we don't get lost" said Kazuma before finally driving them to school.
Time Skip
After having introducing themselves to the school faculty, Kazuma was low key hoping he and Aqua would have different classes, and yet was glad they didn't since he could ensure she behaves herself.
At the moment they were waiting for their cue to be called into the class and introduce themselves to the people they'll call their classmate for the next 3 years.
Please god of gods, please make sure this useless goddess you have me commit to doesn't screw the pooch on the first day, thought Kazuma before their sensei called them in.
"Class I'd like to introduce 2 of our newest students, Satou Kazuma and Satou Aqua" said their sensei as instantly the students start to talk.
Come on Aqua, don't let me down, please don't do anything to garner us unnecessary attention on the first day of school, thought Kazuma as he slit his eyes towards Aqua who notice this as she gave him a smile and a reassuring nod.
"Hold on, both of you carry the same last name, what are your guys' relationship" asked one of the students.
"Me and Kazuma happened to be married" said Aqua in a matter of fact tone and face as Kazuma face palmed.
God damn it, thought Kazuma as the whole class roared in a symphony of 'eh' that could be heard across the whole school.
KONOSUBA
Needless to say Aqua's answer to the question of the day has lead to everyone in the school knowing how the 2 new transfer students happen to be married was the talk of the school.
For better or worse, Aqua and Kazuma had been hounded by their fellow classmates and students from other classes about how they met and why they chose to get married.
At this point, Kazuma chose to answer all these questions, and told a lie saying how after Aqua had saved him from freezing to death, and nursing him back to help, her crazy family literally held him at gun point for a literal shotgun wedding, and how he got stuck with her, because in his hay fever sleep he told her he'd marry her if he got better in front of her father no less.
Granted this sounded like a far fetch lie, but once Aqua blabbed about the truth, all the students decided to believe in Kazuma's lie to be the truth, much to Aqua's frustration.
Still, Kazuma was able to avert any further crisis and unnecessary attention, as he just wanted to get these next few years of school over with, but this was proven difficult as girls were gossiping and giggling about Aqua's experience being married with him, as the boys hoped to get some pointers as to how to get a girlfriend and what do girls like.
"Come on Kazuma, be a pal, I could really use some advice" said one student, "No way man, I'm trying to take my relationship to the next level without screwing it up, I need the advice more" said another student.
"You noobs are just hogging up time, let us single guys get some pointers first" said a different student as they all ganged up and argued in front of Kazuma who wish he could find a way to escape.
Fuck this, might as well be bold about it if you want some peace around here, thought Kazuma as he got up from his seat.
"What's up Kazuma" asked one of the students, "I gotta go drain my lizard, so please stand aside" said Kazuma as he walked past the group of boys surrounded him and ignored Aqua who was eating up the attention.
As Kazuma continued to walk towards the boys room, he felt the presence of someone following him and chose to ignore it up until he stood outside the entrance of the restroom.
"Whatever you want, it better be good" said Kazuma as he turned his head to face a timid looking boy as he had short black hair on the top as the side of his head was cut short, as he had yellow eyes, and a scrawny built.
"I'm sorry but, you wouldn't happen to be Satou Kazuma" asked the student, "So what if I am" said Kazuma as he was tired of being pestered for love advice since he honestly doesn't have any to give.
"It's just that your grandfather and my grandfather happen to be good friends" said the student as he had Kazuma's attention.
"My name is Ozuburo Ryo, but please call me Ozu if you like" said Ozu timidly, "No kidding, you're Yusuke's grandson" asked Kazuma.
"Yeah, that's me" said Ozu, "Ok then, sorry for snapping at you, just having an eventful day here" said Kazuma.
"I completely understand, I know that you and your wife are hear attending school together in the same class no less" said Ozu.
"Yeah don't remind me, cause honestly she makes me want to cause a scene myself" said Kazuma.
"Sorry, anyways I was hoping that if you're not busy, maybe we can hang out, if you like" said Ozu as he was clearly shy and pushing himself out of his comfort zone, but so far he's the only guy who has reached out to Kazuma not asking for dating advice.
"You know what, that sounds good to me, come back to our class during lunch time and we can chat" said Kazuma as Ozu looked at him surprisingly before nodding to Kazuma in agreement.
From there school went on with boring lectures, and notes to take, but Kazuma wasn't going to argue about it since this gave him the solace needed to not get hounded.
Finally the lunch bell ring and as Kazuma was ready to meet with Ozu, he forgot how he packed a lunch for Aqua who was in the same class as him.
"Come on Kazuma, let's enjoy our lunch together" said Aqua as half the class either squealed in joy or roared in cheers over seeing a married couple eat.
"So romantic" yelled most of the girls, "So bold" said half the guys in class, "So jealous" hissed the rest of the students.
"Aqua" whined Kazuma, "What, you made this lunch for me, the least I can do is sit down and eat it with you" said Aqua as she began to unwrap her lunch.
"Wait, you're husband was the one who made your lunch" asked one of the girls, "Yeah, he may not look like it, but Kazuma knows how to cook" said Aqua as she began to unbox her bento to reveal the lunch he had made her.
"Wow, you're husband made you this, I'm so jealous" said a different girl, "You should see him whenever we cook dinner at home" said Aqua as students were taking note of this.
"Aqua, you're so lucky, you have a husband who cooks, while my man only ever takes me out for lunch" said another girl, "Yep, Kazuma does it all, he cooks for me, he goes to work, and treats me" said Aqua as now the whole class was in an uproar, including their sensei.
See Kazuma, without me being here, you wouldn't be as popular, and I can already think of a few ways for you to thank me, thought Aqua as she began to eat her lunch before realizing that Kazuma was not liking how this situation turned out.
On their first day of school, Aqua and Kazuma had managed to their class into a damn circus, and while he should be happy to be popular and even in the center of attention in this light, for him it felt hollow.
He wasn't this smooth playboy who managed to bag himself a beauty during his high school year, he was just a regular guy, granted he was a shut in and is an indefinite otaku, but that's about it.
While he was in a way happy to be married with Aqua, and is taking charge to be responsible for providing for them and having a future, he does this cause it was an agreement from his grandfather, but also deep down he knew that this was the adult thing to do in life.
He's not doing this to flex and show Aqua off as a trophy as she lives the easy life at home, that was far from the truth.
So the fact she was painting him to be this Superman that men want to be him, while women want to be with him, as she's viewed as spoiled princess doesn't feel right.
He wants to say something about, but how can he without ruining his social life in school and to that extent Aqua's since the last thing he wants to do was for her to ever felt like a pariah and be socially outcasted because he chose to speak out and lay down the truth these kids who know nothing of adult responsibility, action, or grit.
He wanted to tune them out and hope something or someone would intervene as he slowly turned his head away, only to Ozu approaching him.
"Hey Kazuma" said Ozu as the whole room went silent, "Hey, Ozu" said Kazuma as instantly students began to back away and even bow at him respectfully as he made his way towards Kazuma and Aqua.
"Hey Kazuma, who is this guy" asked Aqua, "This is Ozu Ryu, he's the grandson of Yusuke" said Kazuma.
"Oh my god really, me and Kazuma totally owe your grandfather big time" said Aqua, "It's no big deal, really, that's what he said" responded Ozu as Kazuma began to take note of the situation.
Ozu was by all means a celebrity of this towns community, as he was the grandson of one of the few micro clans that still exist across Japan, so needless to say, people would have learned to not only behave themselves, but also distance themselves be it out of fear, respect, or both.
In truth, this was exactly the answer Kazuma needed to help him out of his situation as he began to smile and unwrap his lunch.
"So Ozu, do you watch the Walking Dead" asked Kazuma, "Yeah, I actually love that show, especially whenever I see Glen on screen" said Ozu.
"I love seeing either Daryl or Merle Dixon on screen, like they're just awesome to see" said Aqua, "Well I personally like it whenever I see Rick in action, or you know Michonne" said Kazuma.
"Yeah, you like her cause you have a thing for samurai booty" said Aqua as she stuck her tongue out, "You're the last person I want to hear that from, especially since you're crushing on Daryl as well" said Kazuma.
Even though their first day of school was quite eventful, Kazuma could admit he had a good day as much as Aqua as he now made a friend who could help give him the personal space he wanted as while Aqua could still retain her new found popularity.
In short, Kazuma got what he wanted when he agreed to go back to school, a fresh new start without any attention buzzing around him, plus he didn't have to worry about his girl leaving him for another bad boy, cause if there was one great positive trait of Aqua, it was her committed loyalty to him.
How's it going guys, as promised a new chapter starting in the school lives of our favorite couple, and there's more to come I assure you.
Once more thank you all for your continued love and support and if you're new and you liked it, please be sure to fave and follow, and leave me your guys' thoughts in the review section for you thoughts about this chapter or any of the other previous chapters.
Until next time, be safe, be good people, and please support your local fandom communities.
This has been your Humble Narrator and official author Tobi Yaza. =3