Married… with a Useless Goddess 6
Disclaimers I don't own KonoSuba, please support any to all official releases.
There first week of school now finally coming to end, meant that everyone can go about in doing either the things they, study up, or just lounge about at home.
For Kazuma it meant for him to go to work today after school, as he his work clothes packed and set aside ready to be put once the final school bell rang.
Just another 2 more hours of this, and we're off, thought Kazuma as he rested his head on his desk thinking he can have a mental break and not having to deal with school itself, students asking him for advice, or possibly his wife bugging him.
"Oh Kazuma~" called Aqua as Kazuma grumbled in his seat, "What is it" asked Kazuma dryly as he knew it was probably something stupid.
"Kazuma, I was wondering if you could loan me some money since I plan to hang with the girls today after school" said Aqua as Kazuma looked behind her to see her friends standing.
The first friend was the picture definition of a gyaru, from the tan skin, colored hair, and having her school uniform modified to look more slutty, however Kazuma got to know this girl well enough to know she was more than a rebel who played the part.
Her name Ami Tenjou, and she was definitely the more adventurous type and even a risk taker since she has admitted to skipping school in favor of spending it at the arcade, and has proven to be quite the competent gamer, while she had to deal with faculty staff telling her to get her life together and be their star athlete again for softball.
While never seeing her actually playing sports, Kazuma knew she could out run him any day of the week.
The other student was an odd one since she was the picture definition of a goody 2 shoes, as she was friendly, had good grades, and was the president of the inventors club, and yet couldn't throw a dodgeball for her life.
Her name was Vanessa Shinoda, she's half American and had spent most her life back in the states up until her parents divorce where she and her brother moved back here to Japan with their dad.
Oddly enough, even though her and her brother moved here a year before Aqua and Kazuma arrived, she's been able to fit in well and was speaking Japanese fluent enough that you could hardly tell she was half gaijin to begin with.
As for her brother, more on him later as Kazuma had to deal with he pressing matter in front of him.
"How much you need Aqua" asked Kazuma as he really wanted to enjoy his quiet time, "24,000 yen should about cover it" said Aqua with a straight face as Kazuma glared at her over how greedy she was acting.
"Here's 2,000 yen, that should be enough for you to either get yourself a booba tea and cookie, or a cola while you spend the rest of it on arcade tokens" said Kazuma as he pulled the money out of his wallet.
"What the hell Kazuma, why are you suddenly being stingy" yelled Aqua, "Dude, we're both working part time now till we finish up school, so we can't be blowing our money away as if we're gonna die tomorrow" said Kazuma with straight face.
"But Kazuma" whined Aqua, "Aqua, go ahead and whine as much as you want I'm putting my foot down and sticking to my guns" said Kazuma as he crossed his arms and looked away from Aqua.
"Kazuma~! I don't want to mooch of my friends! You don't love me!" cried Aqua as Kazuma looked at her with his mouth gaped open that she would shamelessly spout such nonsense so openly like that.
"All right already, you win, just please shut up" shouted Kazuma as Aqua began to wipe her crocodile tears away and was expecting her man to hand his wallet over, but instead was handed another 2,000 yen.
"Kazuma!" exclaimed Aqua just as the bell rang, "Can't talk right now honey, class is back in session" said Kazuma with a smug smile as everyone went back to their seats as Kazuma patiently waded his way throughout the last lecture of the day.
Once over, Kazuma made his way to the front of the school and hopped on his ATV and road his way into town as he parked in front of the shoe store he worked at.
Hopping, Kazuma made his way into the back and changed into his work clothes, before walking to the front of the store and taking a seat in one of the many chairs as he let out a tired sigh.
"Sup Kaz, how's it going dude" asked a tired voice of the stores assistant manager as the man in question was tall, fit, and arguably handsome, but always has a tired look on his face.
His name was Brodie Bennington, and he was Vanessa's older brother who had his last name changed to his mothers name as a means to spite his father after the divorce.
And while he's not ashamed of his Japanese heritage, he wasn't going to change or deny the fact he was American raised and proud, so if it means he'll have to drop out of school and work at places like this in a pissant town, fine by him so long as he finds himself happiness.
"Schools out and I literally got about an hour to myself to take a mental break here while on the job before I have to deal selling shoes to fat woman again" said Kazuma as he buried his face in his hands.
"Could be worse man, could be worse" said Brodie with a smile as he took a seat next to Kazuma, and took out his phone to watch Rams vs Raiders game.
"So how's my little sister, you have actually met her or at the very least seen her" asked Brodie, "Funny enough, she's actually good friends with my wife and are in fact hanging out today after school" said Kazuma.
"Huh, that's awesome, thanks man" said Brodie before he got up and jeered over the fumble done by the Rams.
"Come on boys, we can't be getting our asses kicked east bay bastards" said Brodie, "Dude, is football really all that exciting" asked Kazuma as he's honestly didn't played on a sports team, much less cheered or watch any games in spite of his grandfather loving baseball.
"Dude seriously" asked Brodie as he raised a brow on Kazuma and was about to go into a passionate rant, but he knew he'd be abusing his authority at that point, plus he knew Kazuma was a nerd who didn't care for sports.
"Look, just don't be questioning the things I like, and I promise not to do the same thing to you" said Brodie, "Sorry, I meant no offense by it" said Kazuma.
"It's cool dude" said Brodie with a smile as they both continued to chill until the first wave of customers came into the store that evening.
Later
After departing away from her friends, Aqua made her way towards Kazuma's job just as they finished closing up, where he looked more tired than usual today.
"You alright there Kazuma" asked Aqua, "No, thanks to you and your big mouth, me and Brodie got assaulted big time by our classmates coming in about an hour after I got here, all of them asking for a discount on shoes" said Kazuma.
"Of course, I had to say no to all of them, which resulted in me getting bullied by the mean girls at my job, with one of them acting like a complete Karen, for no reason, with her threatening to talk to my manager in getting me fired" said Kazuma.
"So I told her to go ahead and do it, you'd be doing me a favor by getting me away from selling fat sweat again for the rest of my life, and from seeing her hooked nose face ever again" continued Kazuma.
"Then she burst into tears, and her friends started calling me Scumzuma and Kazutrash as they left the store, seriously I wish I could just sit down and drink a root beet already" sighed Kazuma as he began to approach their ATV.
"Come on, let's get some gas and food at the convenient store, I'm to tired to deal with any more bullshit today" said Kazuma as he and Aqua mounted on their ride, with Aqua remaining silent throughout the whole ride back home.
The Next Day
It was already 5 in the afternoon by the time Kazuma had finally got home to join his grandfather watching the big game in peace as they both drank root beer.
"God damn it, he was safe" shouted Grandpa Satou as he slammed his baseball cap on the floor, "Gramps the catcher tapped him out fair and square" said Kazuma.
"Who's team are you on" asked Grandpa Satou as he bent down to pick up his hat as Kazuma chuckled over getting his grandpa's goat.
Though their day was about to get more interesting as Aqua finally came home from work at long last as she had on the most annoyed look on her face that made Kazuma wonder if that's how he always looked like after coming home from work.
"Oh, how I wish I was a heathen wishing that their death by crucifixion was more faster and painless way to die" stated Aqua, "Everything alright Aqua" asked Kazuma.
"No, it wasn't and I'll tell you why, a fat woman came into the mall today and she had the choice to either leave today either through this wide gaping automatic gate or this itsy-bitsy turn style door" began Aqua.
"A line was forming, so naturally I had to do something, so I made my way over to the Tennessee Fried Chicken and ask them to give me all the butter they got, so I can lube this woman up, then I made my way over to the Star Wars store and had to hot wire the Millennium Falcon and sent it towards a galaxy far, far away" continued Aqua as she used hand gestures to help dramatize her tale even more.
"She goes flying like a fly ball during one of grandpas games, out of sight and out of mind, leaving me to clean up the mess I made to get her gone, seriously give me a reason to live people" sighed Aqua as she sat down in her chair before doing what her husband does and stuck her hands down her skirt while looking aimlessly at the TV.
"Boy, I think you might have found yourself a real keeper here" whispered Grandpa Satou as Kazuma looked at him bewildered.
"Anyways, thanks for reminding me Aqua, but Grandpa has a game to get ready for at the new baseball diamond Yusuke had invest in building, you kids should come and watch your old man play" said Grandpa Satou.
"No offense Gramps, but we're tired and find watching baseball to be boring for the most part" said Kazuma, "Suit yourself, though I was told Yusuke also built an ultimate concession stand that provides everything from hotdogs, to udon noodles, and something called churros" said Grandpa Satou as Kazuma and Aqua still remain uninterested.
"Did I forget to mention it's all free and on Yusuke tonight" said Grandpa Satou as this finally got Aqua and Kazuma to get up and change for the evening.
Time Skip
It was only the 5th inning to their game, and surprising everyone to see a bunch of old men play, they don't show any signs of tiring out or fatigue, as their spirit and energies were high tonight.
"Wow, I've never seen my grandpa this pumped in years" said Kazuma, "You should come and see him and my grandfather when they practice, they give it their all and have been anticipating for this day to arrive" said Ozu as he stood next to Kazuma as they waited in the commissioner office his grandfather also built.
While not as big as an actual office, it was enough to fit anywhere from 8 to 10 people without it feeling cramped, and had it's own accommodations from a bathroom to even it's own liquor cabinet, the latter of which Aqua got to know very well.
"Ah, nothing sooths the soul than booze" laughed Aqua as she began to take a long drink from a bottle of rum as Kazuma looked at her with disappointing eyes.
"My wife, who'd have guess she's a raging alcoholic" said Kazuma, "Come Kazuma, don't be a square, besides I'll make sure none of us do anything stupid before the game ends" said Ozu as he handed his friend a glass of whiskey.
While not one to turn away free booze, Kazuma learned from his first time with Yusuke that whiskey was not his poison.
Still it would be rude to refuse, so Kazuma pinched his nose and took it all in one go as he began to cough and groan.
"Dude that was meant to be drink slowly, not down the hatch" chuckled Ozu, "Shut up, this shit burns" groaned Kazuma as Ozu went and fetched him some water.
"Listen man, thanks for actually coming here today, if anything I wanted to ask you something" said Ozu as he handed Kazuma his water.
"What's up" asked Kazuma, "Look I know better to ask you about any sort of dating advice, but honestly man I could use your help" said Ozu.
"Look man, I think you know this, but I'm not some lady killer who got lucky to marry Aqua using charm or money, I was… sick and she happened to save my life and this is how I repaid her" said Kazuma.
"I know, it's just… please man, I really could use some help" said Ozu, "Come on Kazuma, help your friend out" giggled Aqua as she wrapped her arms around Kazuma in her still drunken state.
"Dear god, you smell like a brewery woman" jeered Kazuma as he pushed Aqua off him, "Party pooper" said Aqua as she went back to stuffing her face and drinking tequila.
"Look, I don't know if my advice will help, but go for it man, tell me what ails you" said Kazuma, "So it's like this, there's this girl at our school, a transfer student from America, her name is Penny and she's an upperclassmen" said Ozu.
"Penny, is she that one girl who stood in front of everyone during lunch period that one time and flashed everyone her boobs while shouting 'To the victor' in order to instill a food fight" asked Kazuma.
"Yeah, that's her" said Ozu as Kazuma looked at him skeptically since he found them being a couple to be a very unlikely parring, considering how Penny is that stereotypical party girl from America that no body likes here in Japan.
"Dude, I don't know how to say this but… really you got the hots for Penny" asked Kazuma in confusion as he was trying to wrap his head around it.
"I know what you're thinking, Penny is loud, wild, and hyperactive, yes, while I'm just shy and nerdy, and socially awkward, but that's kind of the reason why I like Penny, she's not afraid to come out of her shell and be herself, plus she's a lot smarter than she looks" said Ozu.
"Really now" said Kazuma as he felt like he can beat her in tic-tac-toe without even looking, "She is the Vice President of the school" said Ozu as Kazuma went wide eye over the news.
"You know what, I'm not gonna even ask, just tell me what do you need help with" said Kazuma, "Well… how do I ask her out to get her to notice me" asked Ozu.
"Dude, I think the best way and easy way to go about this is honestly be direct with her, I mean she seems like the type of person who prefers the straight answer, plus you said you admire her for being bold, maybe you can impress her by being bold for once" said Kazuma.
"I… ok, I'll do it, I will do it, next Monday I will ask Penny out to go out with me" said Ozu, "Woohoo, you hear that people, Ozu is gonna ask Penny out" cheered Aqua as she came behind handing them both more shots.
"Come one boys let's toast to Ozu finally getting the nerve to ask Penny out" said Aqua as they cheered and drank the night away.
The Next Day
By the time Kazuma had got up, he realized he was 4 hours late to work, and felt like shit.
"Groan, what happened" asked Kazuma as he got up and realized he was naked sleeping next to Aqua, which was not unusual, except this time they were drunk, but also that there were a few new things surrounding the floor of their bed.
Rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things, Kazuma was left curious to know what the hell did they do last night as he saw pink tiger stripped fuzzy handcuffs, a vibrating egg, and a grapefruit with 2 holes and a hollowed center.
I don't know if I should feel scared, angry, or happy, thought Kazuma as he regrets not knowing what kind of kinky play he and Aqua did last night.
"Mm, oh Kazuma, you're an animal" mumbled Aqua as she had a perverted smile on her face, reassuring Kazuma that it was at the very least kinky last night.
Getting on his sweat pants on, he walked his way into the living room to realize that the house was empty and that his grandfather wasn't around.
Weird, thought Kazuma as over the well being of his grandfather, as he went to fix him some coffee for him and Aqua.
Just as he finished brewing the pot, Kazuma heard the front door open, as he saw his grandfather returning home in his underwear no less.
"Grandpa, what are you doing!" exclaimed Kazuma, "Heh-heh, sorry there boyo, but me and the guys may have partied a little to hard last night after the game, sorry if I worried you" said Grandpa Satou with a nervous smile.
"I'm just glad you're alright, now could you please go get some clothes on" said Kazuma as his grandpa rushed to his room as Kazuma was thanking the gods for his dumb luck.
Once back in his room, he saw that Aqua was awake and rubbing her eyes as she let out a yawn.
"Morning Kazuma" mumbled Aqua, "Morning Aqua, here got us some coffee" said Kazuma as he handed her a cup as she gladly drank from it.
"Mm, thanks" said Aqua as Kazuma sat next to her, "So, how are you feeling" asked Kazuma.
"I'm feeling good, better even, especially since my dear husband here was an animal last night" said Aqua as she rested her head on Kazuma's shoulder.
"You remembered what we did last night" asked Kazuma, "No, not really, but I can assume it amazing" said Aqua as Kazuma sighed in relief before drinking his coffee.
"Hey Kazuma, I'm sorry" said Aqua, "For what" asked Kazuma, "For telling all those girls at school about not only us, but where you work, I know you had it rough on Friday".
"Sigh, it's cool, I mean I did manage to sell a lot of shoes still, more so I get paid in commission per ever pair I sold, so really I should be thanking you" said Kazuma with a smile.
"Well if you want to thank me you can always buy me some sweet bubbly" said Aqua, "Not gonna happen" said Kazuma as Aqua pouted for a minute before smiling.
"Well… you could always take your pants off and do to me whatever we did last night" said Aqua with a smile, "Aqua, we can't, grandpa just got home from an all nightery" said Kazuma.
"Did he came back home in either his clothes or underwear" asked Aqua, "His underwear, why" said Kazuma honestly.
"Than he has no right to bug us and will gladly leave us alone" said Aqua as she set their coffee aside and pulled Kazuma under the covers to start their day right and in high spirits.
Woohoo, another chapter down, and just before Valentine's Day, really hope you guys are liking these chapters so far, which granted I do know thanks for your guys awesome support.
Until next time, be safe, be good people, and please support your local fandom communities.
This has been your Humble Narrator and official author Tobi Yaza. =3