Tobin's Spirit Guide

by Enigma618

John Horace Tobin is one of the most famous experts on ghosts. Now a ghost himself, the pompous poltergeist is writing a new version of his eponymous Spirit Guide, telling you stories about the most famous and bizarre entities in the Ghostbusters mythos, and injecting his own witty remarks throughout.

1. An Introduction

Greetings, o puny fleshbag. Ahem, my deepest apologies, hello there, my new human acquaintance. My name is John Horace Tobin, and this is my Spirit Guide. I do not know how my updated, wondrous, and oh so spectral tome has fallen in your unworthy hands, but I suppose I will allow it for the sake of a fellow lover of the paranormal. Here you will find a myriad of entries on everything from ghosts to demons to gods. Again, I do not understand how you have come to possess this book, but if you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness Monster, and the theory of Atlantis, then this hefty book is for you. Ah, but before we press on to learn about all the bizarre spirits and specters haunting this world, I believe there is an introduction needed. Who am I, and how did I come to be one of the most renowned denizens of the ghost world?

From my youth, I fancied myself an intellectual, and acquired much institutional and educational acclaim. However, I chose to direct my mind towards the research of something no other genius wished to learn about: the world of the dead, and all that comes with it. I spent years studying the supernatural, documenting all types and Classes of ghosts around the world. I have seen it all, and I wrote my findings in perhaps the most important book in the history of human writing: Tobin's Spirit Guide! Alas, no human lasts forever on this mortal coil, and not long after completing the First Edition my life came to an end. It was a peaceful death, I assure you. However, I found myself even more deeply fascinated by the ghosts of the world once I'd joined their ranks. Spirits and ghouls can be quite dangerous, and some have the potential to end the world, but they are not all bad, I say! I make it my job to assist ghosts in getting a handle of their new existences, mastering their powers. I help keep the physical and spectral worlds in balance. Life's no fun without a good scare! And so, though my fleshy body has long turned to bones, I continue to write and learn in the realm of the dead. That is how this newest edition of the book came to be, written through my new perspective on life and death.

I suppose since the human world can at times intersect with the ghost world, my work finding its way to a mortal is not too unexpected. In fact, you've probably heard of the world famous Ghostbusters, haven't you? They seem to come in many forms, but without my work they would be hopeless! So thank the Ghostbusters for keeping your world safe, thank me for providing the knowledge on these strange beings in the first place, and… well, you just lay back and read on. Enjoy this new and updated edition of Tobin's Spirit Guide!