Can we fall?
Kristin let out a sigh when she finally made it home, hanging her bag on the hook she tossed her badge in the bowl beside the door. As she walked through her house, she followed the voices that she could hear in the sitting room. She had forgotten all about the plan for today, Lizzie was finally bringing the Weasley family over to their house. Letting out a sigh she figured she at least go say hello, it was the polite thing to do after all. And wasn't like she had anything against the Weasleys, Fred and George were always around the house since Lizzie and George started dating about a year ago. Kristin and Lizzie were even friends with them starting from an accident in their shop that brought them to St Mungo's a while back. Just after the day she had at work, going to socialize seemed like an extra task she just didn't have the energy to do. But nonetheless she walked into the living room with a smile on her face to the sea of people smiling and laughing as they turned to look at her.
"Krissy!" Lizzie yelled a smile on her face as she jumped up from her spot on the couch next to George and walked over to her friend. Gently grabbing her arm Lizzie pulled her further into the room. Letting herself get dragged along till she was standing in front of everyone. "Meet the Weasleys, well ones you haven't met. This is Arthur, Molly, Bill, Fleur and Charlie. You obviously know everyone else from school." Lizzie told Kristin, pointing out the new Weasleys like she didn't know who they were. Everyone now knew of all the Weasleys at this point in history and probably for much longer as their names were already going in history books. Besides them Fred, George, Percy, Ron and Hermione were also taking up various spots in the sitting room.
"Hi. I'm Kristin Travers." She introduced herself to the group, giving them a small wave. "Sorry about the mess." She said waving over her appearance, her light green robes were a mess, despite the fact it was her second pair of the day. Magic could only do so much cleaning of clothes, her once neat hair was frizzing out of her ponytail which she was too tired to even care to much, her Mother would have been disapproving of her right now. But like she said it had been a day.
"Oh! You are perfectly fine dear. You work at St. Mungo's like Lizzie, right?" Molly questioned her giving her a kind smile from her place on the couch.
"I do. I just started practical training with her not too long ago." Kristin explained, giving the lady a small smile in return. Both girls knew they were going to be healers at a young age and started studying early in their Hogwarts years. Madam Pomfrey would take them in on weekends to even get more experience during their later years.
"My girls are just so smart." George said, throwing his arms over both of lizzie and Kristin pulling them close to him.
"Since when am I your girl?" Kristin laughed looking up at him, her and George had gotten pretty close since they met each other. All four had actually been hanging out almost everyday for a while before Lizzie and George started dating. It took all of Freds and Kristin effort to actually get them together instead of one them shying out of making a move. Eventually Lizzie finally found her courage and asked him if he was going to ask her on a date or not.
"Always have been, you are Lizzie are a packaged deal. Can't have one without the other." George explained roughing up her hair even more.
"Glad to still be included then. But I am going to shower." Kristin laughed as she ducked out from underneath George, giving the group a small wave as she headed out of the room and towards her own bedroom. The portraits on the wall said nothing but the distrain was clear on their faces, they had learned long ago that if they were to comment on her attire they would find a place in the dark basement for a lifetime. Mother started it after she took a job after father was imprisoned after the first Wizarding War, women in the Travers family were expected not to work and be housewives and mothers. Nothing more.
But mother couldn't stand sitting home all the time when Kristin got older, so she opened a clothing boutique which then expanded to multiple stores all over the Wizarding world. Her Mother planned for her to take over the company when she came of age but still allowed Kristin to continue with her studies for being a healer because it looked well during the war. How could the women of the Travers family be guilty of anything when they own a clothing store and learning a job that helps people? Even as Mother passed no one could quite figure out where the women of Travers family loyalties lie. The past family members were not happy with Mother and her taking up jobs for any reasoning were very looked down upon. Mother excuses were useless, they would have wanted her to remain staring at an empty house all day along. And Kristin just didn't care too much about a bunch of old dead men that no longer mattered.
It only mattered when Father came home and decided that Kristin taking advanced training would be helpful for the cause. So even he didn't mind that his wife stayed loyal to him and his daughter was learning to stay neutral and let her continue. The only agreement was she was to keep the family name and pass it down, with the wealth it brought in, plenty of others were more than willing to comply. She was glad the war ended when it did, she was almost married off to a terrible man that was ten years her age. Sadly or luckily he had died in the Battle of Hogwarts alongside her mother and father, leaving the family wealth to her. Another thing the portraits looked down upon, the family line falling to a women despite the fact she still would continue the family line, was a stain on the family name. But there wasn't much they could do besides sit in their frames and glare as she walked by.
Shaking her head of the thoughts she took a long hot shower to clear her head. Plenty of people avoided going to Healers during the war, too afraid to be seen or whose side they were on. Despite stating that St Mungo's was neutral in the war the trust wasn't there. A lot of people needed basic care that they had avoided and Kristin, with Lizzie, being in beginning practical's, they was the one that tended to them. It was a never-ending amount of people all day every day. And she loved it. But it was tiring to say the least. Figuring the Weasleys would still be here she threw on a pair of jeans and a comfy sweater, drying her wet hair with magic before throwing it up in a ponytail and making her way to through the kitchen.
Tops was busy with the dishes, his magic cleaning up the dinner that he had made for the guest. But by technicalities Tops was a free elf. Mother had given him clothes long ago refusing to let someone in her house to be dressed how he was. Not once did Tops try to leave, in fact he enjoyed Mother finding and fixing up new clothing for him. Mother treated him like some sort of doll and he stayed to help take care of the house and raise Kristin. Father was upset when he found out but he was in Azkaban at the time and when he was free, Tops had proved his loyalty. At that point there wasn't much Father could do, after all Tops came from Mothers family. And being around Mother for so long, Tops was a great help with the boutiques when Kristin had too much on her plate with her training. He was family at this point and Kristin wouldn't have been able to make through any of the last few years without him by her side.
"Miss Kristin!" He exclaimed, smiling as she walked into the room. "I have a plate for you." He told her waving his hand towards the dinner on the breakfast table, magically kept warmed up for her. "The others are just finishing up dinner but I thought you would like to eat it out here alone for a bit."
Kristin grinned at Tops. "You know me all too well. Thanks Tops." She told him when he went back to the dishes. Kristin slowly ate her dinner in content silence nothing but the plates clanging around as Tops cleaned them. Once finished she brought her dinner to the sink apologizing to Tops about giving him another dish while he just scoffed at her and told her to go.
Kristin found the large group in the dining room, their plates already disappeared, a large floral centerpiece sitting on the table being talked about. Gorgeous purple and white flowers spilled over the sides of a vase. Kristin rolled her eyes knowing exactly where they came from and Lizzie's smirk just confirmed it. She had been receiving flowers once a week for the past four years, she didn't even know if Draco Malfoy remembered that he still had someone sending her flowers. It was silly and dumb and Kristin won a bet she couldn't even remember what it was but she ended up receiving flowers for years. And she wasn't going to complain too much, they were gorgeous.
"They were just complimenting your lovely flowers here. From the one who got away." Lizzie teased her best friend. Kristin just glared at her, sure Draco and her had something but she knew exactly where Draco stood proudly at the beginning of the war. And Kristin stood where she was to stay alive and tried everything to get away. It was just too much of a difference in beliefs for it to ever be more. "Oh shut it. Draco is not the one who got away. Not even close." Lizzie rolled her eyes at the denial, Kristin forgot that Lizzie was around all the time and saw the two of them.
"You know Malfoy?" Hermione said quietly from her spot on the chair, giving her a quizzingly look. Kristin nodded her head at the girl unsure where the conversation would go, it was still a rough topic to talk about.
"I did. Our mothers were friends that worked together, so we spent a lot of time growing up together. I still write to his mother once in a while, since I own my Mothers business now but I haven't seen him since the end of the war I think." Kristin explained shrugging her shoulders, she sat down beside Fred curling her legs underneath her.
"Lizzie here thinks that we would be good together if he grew up and became a better person, of course. And wants me to try and get ahold of him." Kristin told them rolling her eyes, she did miss her friend but only half of him. She never liked the fact he would bully people and thought so little about others, she was raised the same way and yet she still didn't have the same beliefs he did. Sure she may not have had her death eater father around all the time but the ideas were still there.
"Malfoy will never change." Ron scoffed at the comment causing Hermione to glare at him, gently pushing his arm at the comment.
"I think he has. He apologized to me. And it seemed genuine. And he also tried to talk to you but you just didn't let him. Even Harry heard him out and let the past lie. I see him late at night in the Ministry, he helps families that lost everything in the war. He has paid for a lot of Hogwarts reconstruction and relief funds for wizards who lost everything in the war. I don't think he has put his name on anything but I know what offices his going too. I think he is trying to make up for his decisions the best way he can." She exclaimed. Some of the other Weasleys nodded along with her, like they all knew this fact. Kristin gave Lizzie a look which Lizzie just smiled at the girl like she had somehow won.
"They say Lucius and Narcissa haven't left their house since, at least not Lucius. No one will work with him in the ministry anymore. They were even thinking of selling the home and moving to America." Mr. Weasley added to the conversation, causing shocked faces across everyone in the room. Everyone knew how much the family home means for pure-blood families, even Kristin couldn't part with her own home despite not believing the family values anymore. It just explained how bad life was for them. They did deserve it after all, but it was still a sad thing to think about the people who she grew up with.
"Oh Arthur, no need to gossip." Molly said place a light hand on her husband's arm. "You said you own your mother's business. What type of business?" Molly asked Kristin to redirect the conversation somewhere else. Kristin thought that it was sweet that no matter what Molly still didn't want to talk to bad about others. It fit everything she heard about the women over the years.
So the night went on like that until the Weasleys left and the girls and George headed up to bed for the night. Of course the Weasley didn't know George stayed the night but it was a small fact that they didn't really need to know. They approved of Lizzie which was the only thing that really mattered, not that anyone was actually worried about it too much but with the past it was a bit harder to predict.
Kristin ran a hand through her hair, letting out a sigh as she looked at the charts before her. She decided to pick up a shift to help out a friend, she didn't mind much it was just another busy day. The Healers said their duties should die down soon; appointments were going down finally. They just needed to get through the last stretch of it. Putting on her face she walked out to the office space and grabbed the next chart from the assistant, flipping through to get to the name. Pausing slightly she made her way out to the waiting room, she turned around to find the blonde-haired man away from everyone hiding in a large hoodie trying his best to not be seen. Instead of calling out his name she walked over to him causing him to look up at her, his eye widened at the sight of his long-ago friend.
"Come with me?" Kristin asked gently giving him a small smile. Nodding his head he got up and started to follow her through the quiet halls.
Quickly stopping another Healer in the halls to call someone else to the room since she couldn't actually help Draco since she knew him. They continue walking to his room to wait. Peaking quickly behind her back at her old friend, he looked much better than when the last time she saw him after the Battle of Hogwarts. His face that was once hollow had filled out again, he no longer had his permanent dark circles under his eyes. He looked like his old self again just a bit older version of himself.
"I figured you wouldn't want me to call out your name." Kristin said softly. "I'm just bringing you to your room.
"I appreciate you not. Thank you. How are you liking being a healer?" Draco asked, trying to diffuse the awkwardness between the two of them. "I know it was your goal and clearly you did it."
"I kinda love it. I feel like I'm really doing something with my life." Kristin told him quietly. "How have you been doing?" She asked him softly. Draco went to say something but quickly turned his head down while facing the wall when they passed a group of people coming out from one of the waiting rooms. They walked in silence for a bit until they got to the room they needed, Kristin led Draco into the room telling him to sit down.
"Here you are. The healer will be in shortly, it shouldn't take too long." Kristin told him which he just nodded his head at. Both of them were unsure what to say to each other, she wanted to yell and scream and hug him at the same time.
He was the boy that she would play with toys with, the boy that ran through the gardens playing tag. When she was having issues with some older Slytherins he stood up for her and made them stop. When her Father came home and he was the run, she started freaking out how everything was going to change. Yet he was also the guy who picked on younger students, who said vile things and joined a group that their purpose was to kill and under some illusion that they were better than others. Even with him changing sides near the end doesn't mean his beliefs truly had changed on the matter.
Kristin didn't know how long they stood there watching each other but a knock at the door bought her out of her thoughts. Healer Scott walked in with a smile on his face, nodding to Kristin and turning to face Draco. Saying her goodbyes, she walked out of the room and made her way to waiting room again to grab the next patient.
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months before Kristin saw Draco again or even heard his name. The only time she thought about him was when the flowers were delivered but her mind soon turned to other things. It wasn't till the rumor of Malfoy house transferring to Draco then gifted to the Minster of Magic and created to become an orphanage that Kristin had finally thought of him again. Draco wasn't there to hand it over in the Daily Prophet, he wasn't there for the opening, he wasn't there for any of the events, he was just a unseen benefactor that provided for it apparently. The only quote or photo from him was to tell them to fill it with happy memories, and a photo of him closing the door in the face of the camera. Kristin and Lizzie and three others were heading to Mystical Manor for a checkup of the boys and girls before most of them were sent to Hogwarts in a couple weeks. Walking through the gates they could easily see why the kids named it Mystical Manor.
You couldn't tell when the gates were open but as soon as the gates closed behind them the true garden appeared. The once pristine gardens were overgrown with bushes of magical animals, moving as the children played with them. Dragons that blew leaves at the children when they walked by, Demiguise that would disappear and even the Hogwarts mascots were wrapped around a giant castle playhouse weaving around the slides and towers. Children were running around and playing, older teens were relaxing under a tree near the fountain with the newly placed benches.
The Manor itself seemed like a whole new place. Of course the base of the of the Manor was still there but that was about the only thing that was the same. The rooms were now brightly lit, walls filled with bright art and photographs. Even art that the kids must have made was taped along the walls in the entrance way. Long gone were the dark portraits of grumpy old people that glared while you walked by, no matter who you were. There was a small desk with a wizard sitting at it in an alcove off on the side, telling them to go through once they had written their names down and checked in their wands.
Even the drawing room was so much more different than the last time she was here. Kristin was worried about what the memories of entering the home would be like, but she didn't have much of a problem as the room was filled with even more toys for the children. Kids laughter rang through the halls as the caretakers wrangled the kids but mostly let them burn off all their energy. Any dark thoughts or memories of the place were hard to imagine with so much joy filling up the space.
A couple of the doors off to the side held plaques of what was inside, the group made their way towards the one labeled infirmary. Inside they found the everyday healer getting them all set for the day to help make it easier for them. And then for the next couple hours that is how their day was spent, starting with the oldest and working through the last of the children as it came close to lunch time they were invited to join. Needing no direction Kristin and Lizzie went to the old Malfoy ball room, the room was filled with tables that reminded them of Hogwarts. Rows of tables lined with kids of all ages filled the room, house elves that found themselves free or without master's to serve were placing food on the tables or dropping off plates to the smaller children.
"This is where I had my first kiss. That corner there. And where you and Draco rudely walked in and yelled at me!" Lizzie teased her best friend when they made their way to the caretakers table.
"Oh! Have you been here before?" Maddy, one of the caretakers that had been giving them a hand throughout the morning asked her while they sat down beside her.
"When I was young. They were..err..family friends." Lizzie said awkwardly, realizing her mistake of words. But Maddy didn't flinch and just continued smiling at her which eased any tension that could have built.
"For the record... I was shocked and didn't expect to be walking in on face eating. I just wanted to see if you guys wanted ice cream. Innocent me." Kristin defended herself laughing at her friend rolled her eyes at her.
"Clearly one of you had your priorities in order." Maddy giggled.
"And it was me." The girls said at the same time, both looked at each other and burst out laughing with Maddy joining in.
"I never saw it before all the changes were made, muggle-born, but they say it has completely changed. I mean clearly more people live here now but it is still such a gorgeous home itself. I don't think they could have changed everything about it."
"I think the ambience of the place is what really makes it seem like a different place really. It was so dark and gloomy growing up. Sure it had wealth but it didn't have the love and joy that it now has." Lizzie explained to her.
"I get that. I think the greenhouse may be the best place for that. They were debating taking it down but it's so lovely. They decided to keep it and start to grow food and herbs to sell, maybe give the kids some fun skills to learn."
"They didn't take it down?!" Kristin exclaimed, joining the conversation again. Narcissa, her mom and her would spend hours in the greenhouse growing up. Both women teaching Kristin how to be a proper lady, or when her and Draco would sit at the table and do their lessons. As their mothers' teas turned to late night wine. The adults giggling with each other as Kristin swung happily on the little porch swing at hung down from the ceiling listening to them gossip or talk about the business. It was the only place that the war never seemed to affect. There was never talk of anything sad or dark in the greenhouse, only happy thoughts about pretty things. "Would I be able to go see it? I understand if I can't."
"Oh no you can. It should be empty. Only the older students are allowed in and they have classes next so no one will be there."
Kristin beamed at the idea, nodding to Lizzie she quickly finished the food on her plate and led herself towards the back of the house, passing the now classrooms and out the grand door in the back of the house that led to greenhouse. It was like nothing had ever changed. The flowers bloomed, colors everywhere in an organized mess as she followed the winding stone path towards the gazebo where her old lessons were held. The porch swing was still there. Stepping up she remembered all the good memories left behind all the innocence that stayed in the gazebo as they grew.
"You can drown in all the memories here." A voice said behind her, spinning around, she saw Draco in a black causal suit, his jacket thrown over his arm as he watched her.
"I was just thinking the same thing. I miss that time. I miss her." Kristin ended quietly. She felt guilty speaking the words aloud as the tears started to fill her eyes. It was hard to keep it together. She knew her Mother was wrong and on the wrong side, but she loved Kristin endlessly and Kristin loved her. She didn't know how to separate the two from each other. Was it wrong to miss her? Or was it okay?
"I do too." Draco told her softly walking up next to, they made their way to the swing and lightly pushed it as they sat in silence for a while.
"What are you doing here?" Kristin asked her old friend as he seemed lost in his thoughts as she was moments before.
"The director was wondering about an outdoor classroom; we were mapping it out. I also sometimes come to help with the kids." Draco told her softly, his cheeks turning the slightest bit of pink as he brushed his untidy blonde hair out of his eyes. A style that Narcissa would have never allowed him to have his hair, it wasn't a proper look.
"It's very kind of you." Kristin told him, turning to watch her feet swing instead of looking at Draco.
"It's the least I could do. Most of them are here because of what I joined." Kristin snapped to look at Draco, his jaw was clenched while he glared in front of him. Her eyes wide as she stared at him unsure how to reply to it. It was true of course but it wasn't something she expected him to say. "Sorry." Draco mumbled as he finally looked at her expression.
"It's alright. It's honest." Kristin finally spoke up as they stared at each other. "How have you been doing?" She asked him.
"I can walk through the streets now without causing a scene. So that's a good thing. I just don't know what to do now honestly." Draco told her honestly. He worked so hard in school to actually become something; he knew he was smart. Even getting rid of the huge ego he had in his childhood he knew he had top marks in school, only having to fight against Granger for the top place. But everything he had done seemed to erase anything he could have possibly done.
"You wanted to be an alchemist, why haven't you followed through with that?" Kristin asked him, she remembered how he would pour over the books over the summer while she would sit beside him in her own books.
"I wasn't sure if I would be able to or wanted." Draco spoke softly giving a small shrug, looking at Kristin she could see how defeated he looked.
After years of friendship and whatever happened between them Kristin could read Draco behind the pure-blood mask that he had been trained to put on. She could see how broken he was, he was definitely better than he was during war time but his eyes still had light dark circle underneath them which was covered by magic. His eyes seemed haunted and shallow, but they were glossed over with unshed tears. He did look worse than the last time she saw him at St Mungo's but he had looked worse. His mask also breaking as he sat beside his friend. This was the person who they shared their darkest secrets too, the two would hide away from Malfoy Manor and wished how they could get away from the war. Ironic they would find themselves in the place they would try escaping from as much as possible.
"You won't know until you give it a shot. You are earning your place back. With good intentions." Kristin reached out to wrap her warm hand into Draco cold one. It was a simple gesture that they had done a million times since childhood, a sign of comfort between the two of them whenever it was needed. Even years later they still found the easy comfort within each other, even if everything else between them wasn't even close to being okay.
"I feel like I'm coming up with excuses. I'm sorry I don't mean too." Draco mumbled.
"I don't think you are. I think you have valid concerns. It's not like there is a guidebook to entering society again."
"Would make things easier. I'm still not sure if I have the right to come back. I was wondering if I should have gone with my parents." Draco confessed squeezing Kristin hand tightly.
"That wouldn't be smart." Kristin told him. "You already started to become a better person now that you can make your own decision. If you go back, you will just be throwing everything away again. You'll be running from your problems." Kristin said trying not to roll her eyes, she understood that it was easier to run away but after everything that he had done why would he possibly want to go backwards. You couldn't go backwards with the past that they had. Draco still had so many options open to him if he was just willing enough to see them, instead he wanted to fall back. Kristin couldn't stand it.
"Kristin! Time to go." Lizzie voice rang through the greenhouse before she popped up on the other side of a flower bush, her face breaking into a smile when she saw Draco and Kristin sitting there together. It didn't take long for Lizzie to forgive Draco after the war, her and Kristin got into it soon after they brought up the conversation. Kristin understood where Draco was coming from but it didn't mean that she forgave him for everything. "Hiya Draco." She said giving him a grin, leaning against a pole of the gazebo staring at the two, her eyes glancing down to where their hands were intertwined but didn't say anything. "Nice to see ya. Sorry for having to take Kristin here but sadly we must go back to work."
"Of course. It was nice to see you both too." Draco gave her a genuine smile, trying to casual slip his hand out of Kristins without Lizzie noticing. Of course she did but Draco didn't need to worry about that.
"We will have to get together sometime. Look for my owl." Lizzie grinned leaning off the pole she grabbed Kristin hand and pulled her up next to her, placing her own against her arm before she dragged her friend off. Kristin gave a wave to Draco as she allowed herself to be dragged along knowing that Lizzie would follow through with having him come to visit.
"Draco?" Lizzie asked raising her eyebrow as they quietly made their way through the walls not wanting to interrupt the classes in session.
"Sad conversation." Kristin told her shrugging, later tonight she would tell Lizzie more details but there wasn't much to say. But Lizzie knew her as well as she knew herself sometimes and so she wouldn't have to say much for her to understand. They already spent hours going over her and Draco during Hogwarts years that Lizzie knew how confusing it was for Kristin to be around him.
It was about two weeks later when Lizzie was running late coming home and Draco on his way. Tops was preparing everything of course, but Kristin was going crazy. She tried to help Tops but she was causing more damage to his dinner than actually helping so he shoved her out of the kitchen. So Kristin found herself puttering around the sitting room, constantly readjusting things that didn't need it, just to do something. It had been forever since they all had a planned hang out time, and seeing Draco a couple times randomly didn't help her nerves. It was Lizzie idea to have Draco over and she was supposed to have a half day but found herself stuck and unable to leave work. Kristin completely understood but didn't mean she couldn't be upset at her at the same time.
A knock on the door let her know that Draco had arrived, letting Tops know that she would get it she made her way over. Fixing her shirt nervously before swinging the door on putting her best pure-blood face on.
"Draco! Hello." Kristin greeted him, glad he was dressed as casually as she was. Kristin was unsure if she should have put more of an effort in her outfit choice, but this was Draco and her simple jeans and t-shirt seemed to go with his very muggle look of blacks jeans and a bomber jacket over a black t-shirt as well. His whole look would fit in muggle London without a second glance. Kristin was definably impressed by the change; she had even started to mix muggle clothes into her store which seemed to be a big hit.
"Hey Kristin." Draco gave her a small smile, a pair of slippers dangled from his hand causing her to laugh. It was stupid, Mother complained how much she hated coming home from work only to feel like she was still at work. So when you came into the house you had to change into slippers, the rule followed even when Father came home and she demanded he followed it. Kristin own fuzzy green slippers warmed her feet.
"Come in. Lizzie is running late but she should be here soon-ish." Kristin informed him. Both of them made their way into the perfect sitting room. Draco looked around the room, Kristin wasn't sure what memories filled his head while she watched him as he made his way over to the photo wall.
While most of the house had photos of the past generations in serious portraits Mother wanted a wall of happy memories. Kristin had a hard time even going over to look at the photos, so many were her and her Mother growing up. Friends that were no longer around. After all this time Kristin wasn't exactly healed from everything. Draco didn't have the same problems as a soft smile played across his lips while he looked at the photos, plenty had him and his mother along side them. He stopped at one in particular.
Kristin moved forward to actually see it and stood beside him. You could barely tell it was a wizard photo, the subjects in the photograph were completely still. Draco and Kristin had fallen asleep on one of the couches in her home, their legs were intertwined while they were curled up together. Kristin head was on Draco chest her hands gripping Draco shirt was they slept on. Narcissa took the photo and her and Mother gushed over how cute the two of them looked. Because you couldn't tell that the people in the photograph had red rimmed eyes, you couldn't tell that Kristin was holding onto Draco for dear life because she was trying to stop the panic attack he was falling into and she was desperate to keep him grounded. His hands wrapped around her tightly as she cried into her arms after seeing the mangled bodies of the family death eaters had attacked earlier that day. But sure, they were cute.
"This was the first night I confessed to anyone that I messed up, that I choose the wrong side." Draco said reaching out toward the photo, his fingers running lightly across the glass.
"It was the first time I said the words aloud. I think it was the only few times I trusted enough that my voice was safe." Kristin said nodding to him.
Draco turned to her; eyebrows furrowed while he looked at Kristin "What about with Lizzie?"
"We didn't exactly ever speak about it, we just kind of… knew we were on the same wavelength. I think we were just too scared. We were playing neutral in a war. I thought I was going to be sent to Azkaban after the war ended, Lizzie too. That's what we talked about." Kristin shrugged confessing to Draco, trying to shrug off the secret.
"Why would think you guys would ever go there? You never did anything wrong."
"But yet we were around the death eaters. We were touching the dark side instead of actively fighting against them." Kristin told him. She could understand if they did send them to Azkaban, in the end it was McGonagall and Pomfrey that stood up and fought against the idea of sending them. And once Harry Potter stood behind them and defended them, they knew they were finally safe. Children of war, born on the wrong side.
"You were just trying to survive." Draco exclaimed. "No one should have that held against them."
"Your life doesn't equal another. You can't hurt someone to save yourself and it still be right." Kristin told him.
"But you never harmed anyone."
"I healed ones that went on to kill people. Guilt by association."
"In that case almost everyone should have been sent away. You shouldn't hold any guilt for any of that." Draco spoke turning to face her, his hand reaching out towards her. Kristin grabbed it without really thinking about it once again. Their bodies closer together then before as she looked at him, she always almost as tall as Draco was, reaching her free hand to move hair that had fallen into his eyes away.
Kristin knew she should pull away. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears. The way her hands were clamming up. She couldn't still have feeling for Draco, she buried them long ago and focus on things she could control. They spent years wrapped around each other both in to much pain and broken to be able to hold themselves up, yet alone support another person but both needing each other to keep it together. They had went on their separate ways, they didn't need each other anymore. But the more Kristin stared at him the more realized how much she wanted him. How much she wanted to close the space between them and place her lips against his. She knew the feeling well, how many times growing up they had been in this exact same place.
But something felt different this time, Kristin couldn't figure what it was but she needed Draco. Wasn't he always her safe place, when he was cruel and arrogant to others, he was sweet and protecting to her. And now that the cruelty seemed to be replaced with a sense of kindness and understanding and maturity, Kristin shouldn't have to battle with herself to be allowed to like him.
Draco hand rested on her hip pulling her close, their bodies touching while he looked Kristin in the eyes asking if this was okay. Nodding her head slightly she moved closer, so their lips were barely touching. Then they heard a small 'oof' a crash and a string of curse words that pulled them apart, looking towards the doorway where Lizzie sat on the floor, the side table toppled over and half of the objects that were on the bookshelf lay around her. The two promptly burst into laugher while Lizzie glared at them but soon joined in. Draco helped her out of the mess while Kristin pulled out her wand and started placing everything back and fixing what had broken.
"I tried sneaking away." Lizzie complained.
"It didn't work out so well for you now did it." Kristin teased, giving Draco a smile chuckling to herself. Her heart still racing unsure what she was thinking.
"Damn table got in the way."
"Misses Lizzie! Just in time for dinner!" Tops said merrily popping up like he didn't just hear the commotion that was going on.
"Well least I get food for my pains." Lizzie said shrugging and she walked towards the dining room.
When they made it the dining room the newest set of Dracos flowers were sitting on the table like they always were, this time a group of yellow roses and baby breath. And at the end of the table sat three place settings and a over the top dinner planned by Tops. Kristin rolled her eyes at the complicated dish but long since learned better than to tell him how unnecessary it was.
"Aren't you joining us?" Lizzie asked Tops raising an eyebrow. They all turned to look at the small house elf.
"Tops can't today." He told them shaking his head, his ears flopping to the sides. "To much to do. I ate already and I must go help Hogwarts." He informed them. Tops often went to help the other house elves in Hogwarts, while most of the school was back to its pre-war days not everything was back up to par. And since the House elves fought in the Battle of Hogwarts some didn't make it out alive despite their magic Hogwarts was a big school. Add on to the fact that they were working on two memorials, one outside Hogwarts ground and one inside to stand for the ones lost.
"Well say hello to Winky for us please. And if we don't see you by the time we go to bed, good night."
Top nodded his little head and with a pop he was gone. The girls turned towards each other and placed themselves at the table with Draco following suit. They sat in silence for a bit as they loaded up their plates with Tops chicken and about seven different side choices. Not including the pies, he had further down clearly meant for dessert. Guess they knew what they would be eating for the next couple of days.
"Bright." Draco mumbled staring at the flowers on the table, his fingers playing against some of the pedals. "I don't see you guys' as yellow people though."
"Not really. But these are the flowers from the bet." Lizzie said shrugging. Yellow may not have been their favorite color but they were still pretty and made the room look nice.
"The bet?" Draco questioned giving her a look.
"The bet you and I made about something a while ago and I won. My prize was you sending me flowers weekly." Kristin spoke up, right about the fact Draco had no idea that he was still sending her flowers. She didn't know if that upset her or not, she couldn't blame him when she didn't even know what the bet was about.
"Oh yeah! The jumping out of the tree." Draco burst out laughing at the apparent memory.
"Jumping out of tree?" Lizzie gave Draco and Kristin a quizzed look when Kristin seemed to finally remember.
"We were arguing about who would be braver about jumping out of the tree we were in. Who would climb the highest and jump. Kristin won." Draco said smiling.
"I broke my leg!" Kristin yelled. Now remembering that the focus was on the broken leg part of the story. Draco had wanted to run to the house to get his Mum but Kristin face was full of tears and she wouldn't let him leave her alone on the ground in the woods. Draco had carried her all the way to the house, her face in his neck at each movement sent pain through her leg. It didn't take long for Narcissa to heal her leg but Draco stayed with her and when Kristin woke the next morning a small bunch of handpicked flowers sat on her night table and the flowers never stopped.
"Children!" Lizzie mocked shaking her head at the two of them.
"Yeah.. we were fifteen." Kristin said her cheeks were pink in embarrassment about how dumb it really was. Honestly, she could have fixed it herself but they both had left their wands back at the manor without thinking about it.
"Okay idiots then!" Lizzie laughed at them, causing the other two to join in soon after.
"So…How have you been doing Draco?" Lizzie asked once the laughter stopped and the room became silent, not an awkward silence more of the fact they we focused on their dinner one.
"I have been good. I start vocational school to become an Alchemist next month. I have been out of practice so I would like to recatch up on those skills."
"I never got how you found that class enjoyable. I wouldn't have been able to get into it If I tried and it just seems way too hard."
Draco laughed at the comment. "Lizzie.. you want to be a healer. You are actively becoming one right now. It's just as hard!"
"Not even close!" Kristin argued back. Sure, being a Healer did take a fair amount of brains and skill to become but it had nothing compared to what Draco was going for. Where the girls would be training and learning for years to come, they could be in the field. While Alchemy you had to just study alone for years before you ever could think of actually putting your skills into training. It took so much knowledge that very few people could successfully go into as a profession and even less came known for it before they fizzled out.
"Seriously! I don't even think I could do it in a daydream yet alone spend a lifetime doing it. I would simply give up and live in a box." Lizzie yelled laughed at them.
"A box?" Draco asked a soft smile on his face when he watched his friend nod vigorously.
"Oh yes. Maybe a nice cardboard one that I could pretty pictures on after I have a mental breakdown from the amount of stress I would have." Lizzie agreed, giving him a smile as she sat back pulling apart a roll.
"From the daydream of doing the job?" Kristin wondered aloud.
"Daydream of course. I would be a permanent resident at St Mungo's if I worked with it."
"Well I'm glad that you are safe from harm with your healer career choice." Draco said, his face in mock seriousness when he stared at her before all three started laughing. Kristin was shaking her head at them, remembering how much it was just like old times.
"Me too. Plus we get to travel soon. Which I'm excited for. I haven't been able to do all that much since practical's." Lizzie informed Draco, her excitement clear. Lizzie travelled around a lot before she started working. Her mom would take her for summer round trips to every country, they even found themselves in the muggle parts adventuring throughout the years.
This picked up Draco interest, he loved hearing Lizzies stories about the world when she would return. He never really got to go many places as his parents went to thrilled with the idea. "Where do you get to go this time?"
"America, New York to be more exact. There is going to be a convention of sorts. New practices and spells that could work better in the field." Lizzie explained to him.
"That sounds exciting."
"Your parents moved to New York, right? How are they liking it? I have only talked to you Mom a little bit and mainly about business." Kristin asked. They had a conversation over owl before she moved over there, they agreed that she can gladly take over the shops and be the main person in charge for them. It was a great stress reliever honestly. Where Tops was helping, Narcissa having to take a step back and training Kristin found herself running thin the last couple years trying to keep up.
"Bit of a change but they are adjusting well enough. Mum is running your boutiques over there obviously and from what I gathered is that she loves wizarding fashion over there, so she is fitting in nicely and really happy with what she is doing. Dad is just supporting her with it right now." His eyes filled with a sort of sadness when talking about his mother. He clearly missed her and with her being so far away Draco didn't know how to take it. After everything that they had been through it was a loss of security that she was so far away. For him and for her. Draco couldn't be sure that his Mum was still okay at the end of the night with her so far away. And he still cared for his dad. But where his mum had cared for him and never truly followed the Dark Lord his dad sunk deeper in himself when everything ended. Where he was terrified of the Dark Lord since he wasn't on top this time around, he still believed in his ways. The only reason he wasn't in a cell was because of his son and wife but Draco found it harder and harder to be around him when his values started to change. It wasn't the same man he looked up to as a child, he was weak and feeble now in his eyes. He was almost disgusted by his father now. And his mum had to help take care of him. He understands she did it out of love for his father, but he couldn't stand around and watch for long.
"The stores are doing really well since she moved over there. They defiantly needed a full time person to make them thrive."
"I'm surprised that you didn't go with them." Lizzie spoke up, not realizing the tension in the question that she asked. Kristin and Lizzie never got around to having the conversation about the day at the gazebo, they had been working opposite shifts so there was never a good time.
"I was debating it, but someone said it would have been running away from my problems." Draco said looking over at Kristin, who just shrugged with indifference. She stood by the statement that he needed to work on things over here before running across the ocean to just start new.
"Of course, she did." Lizzie said rolling her eyes at her best friend, she would see it that way.
Draco raised an eyebrow at the girl, the two girls almost always agreed on everything. It's how they got through the war together in more than less one piece. "Don't you think so too?"
"Nope. I think starting over is never a bad thing. You ended your ties here with dignity and redemption and you are just moving so you can create a new path for yourself. I think that it an incredibly brave thing for a person to do. Not running away at all."
"Saying sorry to a few people doesn't equal redemption." Kristin spoke up, her voice short and sharp when she rolled her eyes at her best friend.
"No but meaning it does. And that was only a start for what he did." Lizzie said defending Draco like he wasn't sitting across the table from her.
"I'm not sure what I was doing would be enough. I wasn't quite sure what I could do to make up for my crimes." Draco spoke up he wasn't completely sure how to right his wrongs, but he tried to find the things that was possible for right now.
"There will always be people you think you can't be forgiven no matter what you do." Kristin told him, she didn't mean for it to sound so harsh but she didn't know how else to word it.
"I don't expect everyone to forgive me. I am aware of the things I did to people." Draco told her to defend himself.
"I never meant to apply that you didn't." Kristin said trying to correct herself but at the raised voices clearly she wasn't doing a very good job at it.
"Sure, sounded like it."
"Well, I didn't."
"Does anyone want another roll?" Lizzie asked, her eyes widened as she watched the two of them, trying to defuse the tension in the room.
"I'm sorry that I got that impression then. Maybe it was just how it was said or how I took it."
"I'm sorry that it came across that way."
The tension in the air was thick between them, Draco and Kristin had identical faces glaring at the plates in front of them. Lizzie let out a little giggle at the time they both reach out to stab a piece of chicken and then both roughly put their forks down before picking up their wines and taking sips. They mirrored each other exactly.
"What?" Kristin asked, still glaring. Lizzie threw her hands up in a defenseless position and had a huge smile on her face. "Oh, I'm not involving myself in this."
"In what? Dinner? You are the one who planned it." Kristin argued back, raising her eyebrow.
"Do you want me to leave? I never meant to interrupt your life. I will go." Draco said, his ears turning a light shade of pink as he got up from the kitchen chair.
"Of course, I want you here Draco. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be. I just meant that Lizzie planned the thing so clearly she involved. Plus we are all friends here."
"We were friends. Things could have changed since then. Everything else has." Draco brought up.
"It wasn't on us that those things changed." Kristin spit out. She didn't know what was wrong with her. It was like she wanted to fight with Draco. The tension building in her and all the anger that she had. He was one of her best friends and he left her behind for some man who was evil reincarnated.
"How many times do I have to say I am aware of that. Why are you one of the people who can't see that I have been honest? Out of all the people in my life you are the hardest to prove that I have changed! You are the run I came too telling you all my secrets and how much I regretted my choices." Draco spoke, his voice rising out of anger or defeat or something he didn't know what it was exactly.
"Oh I'm out of here." Lizzie mumbled before slipping out of the room quickly.
"Because you chose the wrong side! And it wasn't by force. It wasn't because you had no choice. You truly believed in all of it. Every last thing that was said about blood purity and how we were somehow better than others because of it! And not just my blood but there was power and wealth too! Others switched sides, people whose whole lives were filled with hate and yet they rose above it. And you gladly stood by."
"I know that! I know everything I did wrong. Not just in the war but the years of Hogwarts and even before then. I was an arrogant little shit. I am trying to make things right and I know some things can never be fixed but I am trying to fix everything I can. Why can't you see that?"
"It's not that I don't see that. It's the fact that it should never have been a thing in the first place. It took you straight up trying to murder someone to see that you were in the wrong. It should have never gotten to that point. You weren't just trying to stay alive; you stood proudly on that side with that stupid little smirk on your face. You would play sweet with me and Lizzie and then just do a one eighty and become this awful person. So which was it, who are you? Because they were always so fucking different! I never knew what feelings the real thing or who you really were. Just constant whiplash."
"Both. They were always both me. It wasn't black and white, everything I said to you and all that we felt was true. The cruel side was there too. But I'm not the same anymore. I grew up. I put myself in an awful place for some sort of power and learned how wrong I was. You had always made me want to be better, a better student just a better person in general. And I was too weak to carry that out when you weren't around me. It took me far too long to see that who I was around you, was the person that I wanted to be all the time. I hated myself and how you would look at me, I could see how much I was hurting you every time I switched to the other part of me. And for a while I couldn't figure out why until I finally realized. But I couldn't rely on you to make sure I stayed on track. I had to do it for myself or else I was never going to become who I wanted and it would have always been on you. And that wouldn't have been fair."
"Well good for you! I'm glad you did." Kristin knew that words were coming out as spiteful but she really did mean it. "But how do you know that you won't start believing it when time has passed and the war isn't fresh in your thoughts. When you realize that you miss the faux power you had over people. How do you know that you won't become like the old Draco?"
Their faces were red as they screamed across the room at each other, both unsure if they were actually saying anything at all or just letting the build up of anger and stress consume them. Kristin hands were in fist, as tears of anger spilled over. Each time they yelled at each other it would pull them closer, never had they ever let out this much anger. Raised to speak rationally and calmly to others and never show this much emotion, it was almost unheard of. And yet here they were screaming at each other.
But the way Draco hand reached out and wrapped around Kristin waist and pulled her against him and crashing their lips against each other. It wasn't sweet like a first kiss should have been, it wasn't like how you would imagine such a build up like theirs would be. It was wet as Kristin tears were staining her cheeks, Draco's rough hands on her hips pulling her as close as possible. His anger and hurt pouring into a kiss as she kissed him back. Even Kristin hands were pinned between them unable to move them. It wasn't passion that led them to this. And yet it was exactly how it should have been.
It was a comfort in a strange way. The fact that could be releasing their fears and anger with each other and still have them to come back to. It was a lifetime of secret late-night talks, hiding out in the woods, to quidditch games and balls, to the trauma of a war and the fear of death. Healing from everything they had been through to becoming better people for themselves to find each other again and still be the safety net for each other. It was years of falling for each other but always being just out of reach.
Draco pulled away only slightly to rest his head on her forehead to look into her eyes. Their breathing labored, chest falling fast as they stood together trying to get air. "You believe in me." Draco told her. "Just like you always have but now I get to prove it to you. Let me prove it."
Once again a click interrupted them, Draco hands stayed around Kristin when they turned their heads to where Lizzie stood a camera in hand.
"What?! You are going to need it for the wall. The first kiss needs to be in the love story." Lizzie defended herself causing Kristin to roll her eye but the way Lizzie smiled she could tell how happy she was for them.
Kristin knew that they needed to work on things still, everything wasn't magically healed with one fight and a kiss but it was a start. And she was more than willing to figure it all out with Draco finally.