Quote of the Chapter:

"No-one understood. No-one. Least of all - me."
― Malorie Blackman, Noughts and Crosses

Chapter Forty-Five: You used (to love) me

Movie night. For a week Elizabeth had been dreading tonight, hands shaking more and more at the keyboard on her desk every time she realised that the dreaded deadline kept getting closer and closer. One month had passed since she'd last attended movie night. One entire month had waxed and waned in the time it took her to finally be roped into seeing all of her friends again - friends she couldn't face after everything that had happened with Meliodas.

Ban, King, Elaine... they had been people that she had considered family. Whenever she felt lonely, lost in the pits of an evening that was Meliodas-free, Elizabeth would always find herself hanging out with one of them. Now Elizabeth actively avoided them all. No longer did she visit the Wildflower Cafe; King was always bypassed with a shitty excuse; Ban... he knew she needed space and never pushed to breach that.

Yet, despite Elizabeth's constant dodging, Movie night - their sacred weekly tradition - had not been discontinued because of that. Diane, always trying to nudge Elizabeth into returning, had laid down several hints to everyone's hopes that she'd return. Every week, every moment, Elizabeth could tell that her best friend was dying for her to return.

Neither Elizabeth nor Meliodas had made an appearance at movie night ever since the truth had come out. Neither of them wanted to face the music. Neither of them wanted outsider intervention.

Everyone, at least in their friendship group, had probably pieced together what had happened. Ban always struggled to keep his mouth shut whenever his alcohol and concerns mixed a little too well; Diane had always been too damn perceptive to ever keep a genuine secret from; and King and Elaine had always had the uncanny gift of being able to read people - like a book.

That was why Elizabeth had been avoiding them all - well, except Diane. Unlike everyone else, Diane was impossible to avoid, a permanent fixture in her everyday life whether Elizabeth wanted her to be or not. Diane would always be there for her.

"You look fine," Diane, impatient as ever, huffed as she watched Elizabeth fiddle with her hair, flattening it under the intense heat of a straightener. For the past hour she had been fussing about what she should wear, tempted to arrive in her usual casual gear but knowing that she owed her friends to at least try and make a proper night of her return. "We're only going to movie night."

"I want to make a good impression," Was Elizabeth's argument, batted back absentmindedly as she set down the hot device and brushed through the freshly straightened locks. Yep. A mistake. Nothing a good ponytail couldn't fix - even if she didn't get the half-hour back. "Plus it's been a good while since I've seen everyone. Might as well make it a special occasion."

"If that's what you wanna believe," Diane responded, not at all believing Elizabeth's words as she returned to mindlessly scrolling, hanging upside down from Elizabeth's - well, her - guest bed.

For the past while Elizabeth had been staying at Diane's, a small, cosy place that wasn't nearly as far of a commute as Jericho's flat in Lewisham. Since King was still in the doghouse - kicked out and staying at Elaine's - there was tons of empty space and loneliness to fill. Plus, Diane did make a good bargain when it came to being roommates: they could relive their university glory days.

So far the most amount of partying they'd ever done was trying the cinnamon challenge in Diane's tiny kitchen, laughing as they failed tremendously at the task. But tonight that trend appeared to have changed. Even Diane, as blase as she was, had made sure to try and dress up for the event. It was, after all, the welcoming of a new initiate into their inner cult circle. Plus they had a Christmas theme.

"You think we're doing too much at once?" Elizabeth asked, switching off the socket that connected her straighteners of the mains. Letting out a sigh, she plonked down next to Diane, not caring if she creased her fur-trimmed santa dress. "I mean, it is Mael's first time going to movie night, but is it really that big of a deal?"

"You made me dress up for my first time," Diane shrugged, now sitting upright as she pat down her head. Luckily there were no flyaways, just the soft ends of her tinsel-tied pigtails. "Plus it's an excuse to look pretty. We don't get many of those."

"No, we don't."

All too soon they were heading out, their meeting spot with Mael being decided while they walked over to the massive Tesco's right at the end of Diane's road. While they browsed through aisles, throwing packs of popcorn and other sugary, processed foods into the basket, Diane kept regular updates going on both the movie night venue and Mael's impending arrival.

As they were checking out, Mael made his appearance, just as dressed up as they were for the event. No doubt Diane had made a little invite and everything, keeping up the gag of everyone's first movie night. All newcomers always had to show up as if they were attending a red carpet event - a joke between the oldest members and a hint to the origins of the tradition.

Years had passed since Elizabeth had first dressed up for the red carpet. So many years that she was no longer the same young woman, excited and starry-eyed as she waited with her friends to watch the grand premier.

Those years seemed to have melded into a blurry reel of seconds, the car ride to Elaine's house - the venue - being much shorter than Elizabeth ever remembered. When Elaine opened the front door, a flurry of a tight hug and a light peck on the cheek, Elizabeth had to check that she was dreaming as she shrugged off her jacket and mechanically made her way inside.

Everything was like she had remembered it. Lovely. Warm. Homelike. Ban gave his usual greeting wave from the kitchen, something chocolaty floating in the air - no doubt her favourite, strawberries dipped in chocolate. An attempt to soothe her. A silent way to say: you don't have to share it yet, but we're all glad you're here anyway. Even King, the usual grinch of the group, seemed lighthearted, warming up to Mael as they shook hands and he explained how exactly he became friends with Elizabeth and Diane.

Warmth always permeated through the atmosphere of movie night. On the most horrible of days, Elizabeth used to find herself looking back at these moments, thinking of all the good they gave and how it all overshadowed the bad.

Now she was barely present. Curled up in her corner, cradling a complementary hot chocolate, she was trying to keep herself sane, calm, before the true storm arrived.

"You know Christmas must really be a miracle because both you and Meliodas are coming tonight!" Elaine, sweet and lovable Elaine, had spelled out doom as soon as Elizabeth had crossed her threshold. Of course Meliodas would be returning on the exact same day that she would; of course he would choose today to show up out of a million others.

Maybe it was some kind of divine torture. Perhaps it was fate simply seeing if Elizabeth Liones would stick to her word, would truly keep herself severed from Meliodas King. If that was the case, then she was going to prove fate wrong; she was going to keep her distance.

When the doorbell rang everyone else was still socializing, hanging about the glowing archway of the kitchen, hot chocolates in hand and all commenting on how Ban really outdid himself with some 'Start of the Holiday Season' gingerbread men. That must have been why none of them heard it. Why Elizabeth found herself grumbling as she got up, socked feet feeling colder the closer she got to the door.

"With my luck it's probably Meliodas," The snarky remark couldn't be helped as she took in a deep breath, shaking her head as she closed her eyes and tried to steel herself for whatever happened next. If tonight devolved into an argument, then she would be the one who emerged from it unscathed. If he simply ignored her, then she would remain unaffected.

Cool, calm, collected: those three Cs were what Elizabeth was raised on. Remaining cool meant that you could think under pressure; being calm meant that you could make logical decisions, be empathetic when needed and yet harsh at the same time; then, being collected... it meant having your shit together. That meant she couldn't let Meliodas dazzle her. At all.

Even if part of her wanted to be.

"Merry Christmas!" Much more timidly than she would have liked to have delivered it, Elizabeth announced the stupid greeting as soon as she threw open the front door. One could only imagine her surprise as she came face-to-face with a familiar set of green eyes - and no, not the ones she had been wanting to see.

"Oh, hi Elizabeth," Zaneri Istar. One of the last people Elizabeth had thought she'd ever see today. Scratch that, ever again.

"Oh."

And, right behind her, was Meliodas King, the culprit of the evening, sheepish smile in place and a hand scratching at his scruffy blonde hair. Guilty. Caught in the act. But Elizabeth would act like it didn't bother her. Above all she would remain cool, calm and collected.

Even if no-one truly understood what the fuck was going on. Not a single soul. Not anyone. Least of all - her.