Fight 67: Price and Value
"Zuko, we're having a child." Chenlian beamed at him. Even though she was pregnant, she was twice as lovely as usual. How could that be? She was radiating happiness. The first problem was that another man was tightly holding her shoulders as she said that. The second problem was that metal bars were separating Zuko from Chenlian. "I won't be coming here anymore as this is no place for a child. Don't worry, ********* will be a wonderful father, just as he is my wonderful partner. He's the man I chose after all, and he's so much better than you in every way. So surely, you'll bless this child." She cutely tilted her head while Zuko had been desperately gripping the bars and shaking his head, overwhelmed by panic and denial. He had been shaking so fiercely that he suddenly woke up with a start, dripping with sweat.
"Good morning." Chenlian replied from the dressing table.
"...It would have been a better morning if you had woken me up earlier." He retorted a bit sulkily.
"Oh my, were you scared of a little dream? But even so, I didn't want you to wake up just yet. I would have liked to finish my business first." She chuckled slightly, sounding mocking but not in a mean way. The young man stood up, washed his face in the basin and looked at his lover filing her nails, and much to her surprise, asked to do that for her. "No. Nails can be used as weapon and to play the pipa. I know how it must be done. That has nothing to do with you."
"Yes it does, just ask my back." He replied as he brought a chair over, sat next to her and took the file and her hand while she had frozen in place, the blood having rushed to her face.
"Never heard of a prince who knew how to do servant work, and would actually do it." She shot back.
"Prince or not, I'm a man who wants to take care of his girlfriend. What's wrong with it?"
"I don't like being pampered."
"Get used to it. You're not alone anymore. You're my girlfriend now. So I'll pamper you whether you want it or not."
"But-" Her objections were silenced with a kiss.
"You protest too much. I love you so you should let me take care of you." Zuko gently held one of her finger and took over. Chenlian giggled.
"That reminds me, didn't you used to say that since I was your girlfriend, you didn't want me to smile or be friendly with other guys... in a forest, or a certain village with an ice spring... Many things happened since then, huh? There are times when my back itch too..." She smiled at him. Ah, there she was prodding him, testing him again, like she was stoking embers or stirring a knife through a wound. What value do your words have? Even though I decided to trust you from now on, the past cannot be changed. Don't think everything will be resolved like nothing happened just because I returned to you. There are scars that take years to disappear, and some never go away... Even so, are you ready to wait? Will you make the efforts? You don't have to if you can't. But the moment you give up, everything will be over. So what will you do? ... was what she was silently asking. However, while of course he still felt guilty, he was no longer the man who would despair to paralysis over it. Of course, he also intended to fully pay for the damages he had inflicted on her and the treatment she needed. As her occasional jabs were a sign of her insecurities, part of the cure was to accept them and assuage her fears. For her to rely on him, to trust him, he would endure. If he easily quit, she would never understand and believe how much he loved her, how important she was to him.
"... You're right. A great many things happened since then, to you, and to me. We're no longer who we were at that time. I used to be haunted by the past and terrified of the future. But you gave me the courage to face myself and my surroundings. If I am here now it is thanks to you. I'm not scared anymore. I know I'm still not that reliable, and it might take some time but I'm in the process of growing strong enough to protect you and support you... at the very least enough so that you too stop fearing the past and a future with me. I don't have the confidence to say I won't hurt you ever again, but I know I won't ever give up. And I decided I would be the one to heal you, no matter how long it takes, because I decided to spend my life with you."
"...Since when have you had such a way with words?"
"When it comes to you, I'm always desperate so I learned on the on the spot. To be accepted by you, I need to communicate how much I love you, how important you are to me."
"And since when can you so smoothly deliver such corny lines with a straight face?"
"I'm just being honest. I won't ever be ashamed or embarrassed by my love for you, not anymore. Besides, I like seeing you embarrassed, flustered, blushing." He playfully justified himself. Chenlian glared at him. "And there's no way I'd let that happen... you at the arm of another guy, with his child growing in you, showing you off as the most beautiful, radiant, alluring pregnant woman and you two kissing in front of me... I won't allow it..." He muttered in a low voice. Chenlian asked what he was babbling about but he kept insisting it was 'nothing!'.
"Oh my, did my words about my arranged marriage and other men taking better care of me affect you this much?" She started snickering, a hand on her mouth.
"Are you joking?! You don't even know how deeply they hurt me! How angry and scared I was! And I couldn't even say anything back! And... STOP LAUGHING!"
"Sorry, sorry, I'm just pffft..." The unrepentant girl burst out again.
"How can-" But then he stopped himself. It might be at his expense but it was not a spiteful laugh. Rather, it was starting to resemble the cloudless smile she used to have as a child that had drawn him to her. Zuko kissed her again, silencing her once more. "Laugh if you want, but now that you've returned, I won't let go ever again."
"Is that so?" She questioned innocently. The young man's lips touched her neck. She stiffened. He withdrew after a moment.
"Yes, and you have the mark to prove that you're mine." The prince grinned victoriously. "Short hair is really not bad after all." He passed his fingers through her mahogany hair. So he said, but there was still a pinch of disappointment in his expression. Then he leaned in for another, deeper kiss.
This morning, Aang trained with Toph while the two firebenders trained together. Chenlian also gave Sokka some pointers on swordbending and let him figure the rest on his own. She had learned that it was not good to constrain him too much. The afternoon, she and Zuko passed Aang through the wringer. They would normally not be this harsh, but they really lacked time. Well, Aang was being quite the obedient and diligent child so it was good. At least for the time being. She could tell his attention was starting to wane and that the leash they had him on was soon going to snap. They would have to do something to have him refocus when it did but for now it was still fine.
During break time, Katara asked Chenlian whether her family had their own summer house on Ember Island. She was from a prominent noble and military family so she should have one, right?
"Yeah. It's actually quite close from here. I passed by the place last year after escaping when I was on my way to join you guys." She answered, prompting a flood of requests to see it. Their eyes were sparkling with curiosity. "I don't mind, but it's become quite derelict." They didn't care though, so they all made the trip.
Chenlian played the tour guide and told them stories about her childhood and family. As expected they were very excited about it. After all, she had never told them about the happy memories she had. Some things were totally new for Zuko while for others he had heard or taken part in them, so he participated in the conversation. With time, his handsome face clouded though, notably when she mentioned her surprise that the mansion hadn't be razed yet. It belonged to a renowned traitorous family. It would have been well within expectations if people had burned it out of spite. Her friends spoke about how sad it would have been if all these memories had gone up in flames. However, Chenlian was not of the same mind.
"You think so? Even if these relics disappear, as long as I don't die it should be fine, since the important things will always be here." She placed a hand above her heart. "Besides, it's sometimes better not to have keepsakes. Those things can keep you chained to the past, unable to look forward, unable to move forward..." At these words, Aang, Katara, Sokka and Zuko looked down. Their meaning resonating deeply within them, all the more so for Zuko, who was clutching his chest, or rather, an object that was stored there; and Katara, who was touching her necklace.
Without this necklace, would her memories of her mother, and the hatred she felt for her killer have faded with time? But maybe because she always had it around her neck, everything was still vivid to her. And it also made her miss her mother terribly. Would that pain have also faded? But even that pain and hatred were important to her. She needed that necklace to keep her mother alive in her. If having pain and hatred were necessary for that, then that was a price she was more than willing to pay. It was also because of those feelings, because of those experiences and losses that she could connect so deeply with Chenlian.
"I agree the future is more important, but that doesn't mean the past should be entirely rejected. That past, those emotions we had then, even the negative ones... it was all necessary to make us who we are. Because we had them, we could overcome them, and grow up. We could relate to each other, connect, and that's why we're all together now." The waterbender declared. There was a silence. Then, she was suddenly punched in the arm. "Oww! What was that for, Toph?!"
"That's what you get for being cooler than me."
"Well, as expected of our all-knowing mom." Sokka added, shrugging, looking away, clearly trying to hide how moved he had been (that is, his teary eyes and quivering mouth). Suki and Aang were smiling.
"What I mean is, Chenlian, I'm really happy we got to see the place where you grew up and know more about you and your family. Just hearing things is different from hearing AND seeing... and I hope one day you'll take your children and grandchildren there so they'll know about their family, about their roots too." Katara took her hands in hers.
"Now, now, aren't you looking too far into the future? Don't put the carriage before the dragon moose. First, we need to win this war, or there will be no future for us. And we won't be able to win if we don't train some more and build our strength, right, Aang?" She grinned at the Avatar who recoiled in fear and weakly assented. Break time was over. Chenlian had thrown everyone back on track. Or she had deftly escaped by shifting the topic of the conversation.
They made their way back. Zuko had been quiet since Katara's speech, yet kept glancing at Chenlian, or down. He had burned the photo of his own family so he would stop clinging to fruitless hopes that would never materialize. This past was gone forever and he had to accept it. Chenlian had given him her hairpin as a memento. Had she truly intended to dispose of it and show him it was entirely over, she could have just melted it away, right? But she had given it to him. Did she truly believe he would be able to throw it away, even though he kept returning to her? Or did she actually wish for him to remember her? Or was she testing him, his resolve, to see what he would choose? If she hadn't given him that hairpin, would he have been able to forget about Chenlian, to accept the loss, leave her behind and move forward with Mai? Did Chenlian herself even know which it was? He stared at the girl walking at his side.
"What?" She asked, having noticed his persistent gaze. After a moment of pondering, he shook his head. "What is it?" Chenlian asked again, aggravated. But he still did not answer and lowered his head. So she sharply turned away from him.
This time, Zuko looked at her mahogany hair. This hairpin was what had saved him. Because he had something physical to cling to, he didn't drown in despair and darkness. It was true he had once thought of those feelings for her as a shackle that kept hurting him. But once he had accepted them, they were on the contrary the bond that pulled him out of the maze. The only painful, shameful thing was not the love they shared but his past self that had hurt her out of fear. Certainly, remembering could be painful, and mortifying. But that was not everything. With time, the good things grew stronger than the bad ones, because he would keep being good to her. And at the end, they were laughing. His heart had always been set on Chenlian, though it had taken him this long to realize. He had also understood that there was no escaping this reality, nor did he even want to try anymore.
However, what about Chenlian? She still loved him, yes. But it was also a fact that his own blows had significantly weakened that love. It was just hanging in by a thread that he had finally managed to reconnect after backbreaking efforts. Zuko had burned that picture of his family. But he didn't want her to do the same. Unlike him, she had such a wonderful family. He had always wished to be part of it. But they were gone because of his father. Still... there was still something he could do...
"Sorry, everyone. You guys go on ahead. I still have something I need to see with Chenlian." The prince looked up with a determined expression and tightly gripped his lover's hand. The others did not understand, but also did not feel the need to ask, and merely allowed him to go with a smile.
"Zuko, what is wrong with you? Where are you taking me to?" She questioned Zuko as he was dragging her back up the path.
"I forgot that I have something I absolutely need to report to your parents."
"But my parents are..."
"It's the heart that matters, right?" He asserted. As she had said the same thing just a bit earlier, there was nothing she could retort to that, so she let him lead her away. They returned into the house, and stopped before a picture of her parents. "Zhong, Biyu. First, I'm sorry for everything my father did to you, and your family. I'm sorry I didn't have the strength to believe in you after you treated me so well. And I can't apologize enough for all that I, myself, put your beloved daughter through despite claiming to love her." The proud Fire Nation prince prostrated himself very low in front of the picture. Then he stood up, wrapped his left arm tightly around Chenlian's shoulders, pulling her to him, while his right hand squeezed her left. "I unfortunately can't promise I won't hurt her ever again. But I promise I will do everything I possibly can to right the wrongs my family and I did, to become a wise and just ruler worthy of your service. And I swear to properly treasure Chenlian from now on. I will support her during the good and bad times just as she did me. I will not be asking for your blessing yet as I still don't deserve it, but please, watch over us." Zuko lowered his head, indicating his respect and sincerity. "Now, we will take our leave. But we will definitely return." He concluded the meeting with Chenlian having kept quiet the entire time, unable to say anything. He took her away just like this and the couple returned to their friends.
Chenlian was lying awake in bed. From his steady breathing, Zuko appeared to be fast asleep. He had been pressed against her back, an arm draped over her until just recently when he had turned around. However, he seemed intent on touching her no matter what, even when sleeping, as she could still feel his back against hers instead of his front. Was he seeking some sort of reassurance? Was he insecure? He had always been touchy-feely, but she didn't remember him being this clingy. Not like she hated it though. That warmth was comfortable. But would it be truly alright for her to indulge herself again? What if she once more got complacent? The young woman exhaled deeply, as if expelling the negative emotions that were trying to take hold of her and reset her feelings. Zuko was doing this much. She saw the effort he was putting in reaching out to her, in atoning. She saw the firmness of his will, his intention.
She recalled his words to the picture of her family. She had not been able to say anything then, in his favor, or in opposition. It was still too soon for her to fully trust him, forgive him, accept him, and let bygones be bygones. But she also could not deny her love for him and hope. She was just being entirely passive. Even the fact that she was his lover again was simply because she had stopped resisting him. Certainly, he needed to put the effort into it. That was the very least he could do. But was it alright for her to be this passive, inert? No, it just wasn't like her to just sit by and do nothing. At least, she wanted to show him proof that she was properly watching him, considering him. It was time for her to steel her resolve...
Chenlian opened her determined amber eyes, silently stood up, prepared herself, and after one last glance at Zuko, left the room. She finished packing what she needed and left a note: I'm going to fetch back something I dropped. I know who picked it up but as I'm not sure where he's at, I'm borrowing Appa to find him. Sorry, and thanks. Aang, keep practicing as you've been. I WILL notice if you slack off so you better not... Chenlian.
Then she exited the house and went to where Appa was resting. The bison woke up and grunted slightly. The girl petted him. She threw her bag over onto the saddle, but right as she was about to climb onto Appa's head, a sharp and reproachful voice surprised her.
"Where do you think you're going in the middle of the night, and on Appa too?"
"Zuko!" Chenlian turned back, without answering his question... and saw he too was ready for a travel. She frowned. "Right back at you. I don't know what you're planning, but you'll have to wait for Appa, I'm taking him first." She turned again and extended her arms to climb on the animal's head but Zuko wrapped his arms around her midriff and pulled her back.
"No you won't. I've had enough of you slipping out of my bed in the middle of the night to go see another man." He half-joked.
"Don't make me sound like such a faithless, shameless woman!" The girl angrily barked back at him.
"Last time I let you go, you came back with a wound on your neck. Who knows what will happen this time? So I'm coming with you. That guy is too dangerous in far too many ways."
"Maybe for you, but not for me."
"Have you forgotten how he tricked you? He hid his identity from you, and allowed Azula's presence too..."
"People trick others. We too are tricking others and hiding our identities. I should have been more careful. As for Azula, I understand he used her to test us. It's certainly not the best feeling, and I do resent him as I could have better protected everyone had I known. Aang might not have fallen to her. But I'm still grateful. I woke up before it was too late, before I got too deep into the dream, and we all realized where we stood and what we wanted."
"Without Azula, I would have fallen for you even harder with time. And I would have become able to chose you instead of my family."
"That's only your hindsight-based opinion. No matter how much time had passed I'm sure you'd have still chosen Azula and your father. Because you still had hope, because you wanted to believe in them... you just had to go down to the end of that road."
"..." Zuko did not reply to that, knowing she just would not budge on this. Although no matter how confident she sounded, what Chenlian was saying was, at the bottom line, also nothing but speculation. Well, that held true for him as well. He was also irritated by how she seemed to trust Senya too much, so much more than him. What truly upset him though was that she had once more decided things on her own and left without a single word to him and was about to settle everything all alone. And she was talking like it had nothing to do with him. She truly made her lack of reliance on him painfully obvious. No, well, he had himself to blame for that. But still. "In any case, I'm going with you. I understand him and his feelings much more than you think I do. Circumstances have changed since then. And I'm not about to let you leave me behind again. This time, I'll protect you whether you want it or not." He also threw his bag onto the saddle. Then, before Chenlian could react, he lifted her and flung her over his shoulder, and while she was still surprised and confused, climbed up with her, put her down onto the saddle, and, ignoring her protests, went to the driver's seat. A moment later, Appa was flying through the night sky.
"Well... since you so confidently took the driver seat from me, you must have an idea where he is, right?" Chenlian questioned a bit resentfully.
"Not yet."
"Hey!"
"He's always keeping tabs on you somehow, so if you're looking for him he'll send some sign. But I think the quickest would be to go that inn in the town where he contacted you for the first time. Ba Sing Se is under Fire Nation control so we can't go to his house but I'm sure he's made arrangements for you to meet him when you want to." The prince replied with self-assurance. And for some reason, she could not deny him. She had to admit though that this devotion made her somewhat uncomfortable given the reason why she was going. No, but she had told him time and time again that he should not expect or hope anything from her. But she also knew that the heart could not be reasoned with.
They landed a distance away from the town and walked to the inn. It happened exactly as Zuko had said. When they inquired about the young master of the Qi family, Senya, they were taken to another room and given a hawk that would guide them to the one they were looking for. The bird took them to the mountains just south of Ba Sing Se, not too far from the ferry/train station, and landed next to a shack built against the mountainside. There were a few trees, a self-sufficient garden, and a well. A poor farmer and his wife seemed to live here. The woman lacked an arm, and the man had a limp, plus the whole left side of his face was bandaged. However, their disabilities barely seemed to hinder their daily lives at all. More than that, they moved like seasoned warriors, alert and perceptive. The older couple saw Chenlian and the hawk perched on her shoulder and took them inside without a word, deep into their house. The man stopped before a wall, and made an opening through earthbending, revealing a clearly artificial tunnel lit with evenly spaced glowing crystals on the ground. The earthbender went inside. After entrusting Appa to the woman, Chenlian and Zuko followed, but the lady stayed behind, and closed the 'door' after them.
The three reached a wider tunnel with a mini monorail and a sort of cart with a bench. The young couple sat on the bench. The disabled man went to stand on the platform before the cart and started bending. The vehicle sped through the tunnel. When it stopped, the firebenders climbed down. Two dai li agents came out of a room to greet them and take them to a wall where they bended another opening. Inside was a spiral staircase that they climbed. At the top, the dai lis stopped before another wall. There were three lamps on that wall. He moved each in a different way. The sound of a lock clicking was heard, and he easily pushed the wall open. Chenlian could guess that if the lamps were wrongly moved the lock would not open, and might even trigger some trap. That hidden door was actually part of the wall of a parlor-like room where the guests were made to wait. A maid kindly served them tea and snacks.
Then, Chenlian alone was taken away. Of course, when Zuko had heard that Linshen would see Chenlian alone, he had bolted upright, threatened everyone, and made a racket. So she placed a hand on his shoulder, holding him back. It might be suspicious that he won't come meet them himself, but they couldn't do anything about it. If he won't come, they had to go. This estate was truly like a maze. They'd never reach Linshen without a servant. And even if they firebended everything in their way to smoke him out, he'd just escape while sending soldiers to stop them, without forgetting that they'd draw unwanted attention. Even putting all that aside, this was their ally's house, and they had come to ask him for something. Being rude or violent would be plain nonsense. How did he intend to make up for it if she couldn't meet Linshen after coming this far? She understood that he was just worried about her, but she wasn't about to let him waste the time and efforts they took just because he couldn't behave. So the Fire Nation prince reluctantly and sulkily sat back down, his arms crossed. Well, although she chose not to mention it, Chenlian had expected something like that to happen.
Chenlian entered Linshen's room and approached him before suddenly pausing. His complexion really wasn't good. Despite that, he was drinking. And it didn't seem to be tea or water from the smell. His disheveled hair and clothes were the very picture of slovenliness. His innocent smile was met with her disapproving frown. The sheer beauty, allure, and sensuality he exuded would have been more than enough to make women faint on the spot. But while she objectively and readily acknowledged his attractiveness, discipline was too ingrained in her for her to be overwhelmed by his seductiveness. So Chenlian sighed and started chiding him. What's with this appearance when he knew he was receiving guests?! And drinking so much even though he was sick! Did he he have no intention to heal even though he had so much to do?! Just how lazy was he?!
"Are you worried about me?" The man smiled a bit wider. Chenlian's tone and phrasing were as misleading as usual but he wasn't fooled.
"Of course!"
"Then, will you do my hair and brew me tea? I would also like to hear your pipa. It's been so long."
"I am no longer your lady-in-waiting."
"It's no good if it's not you."
"...Fine. It will be the last time." Chenlian combed his glossy, silky hair that many women would kill to have, and gathered the top part that she tied in a bun before inserting a hairpin. She also arranged his clothes. He was unusually quiet though. He must be feeling really unwell after all. "I'll only give you hot water though." She warned him. He insisted that he would prefer tea she lovingly brewed but she bluntly turned him down. "No. Who knows what will happen if tea mixes with that."
"Come on. You've come because you want me to return that ribbon to you, right? You decided to give him another chance and reject me. Isn't it alright to let me savor one little bit of sweetness since it's the last time?" He was looking at his reflection in a hand mirror, admiring her handiwork. Which she was grateful for as his words had made her jump and freeze. After a time the firebender took a deep breath and started heating the water.
"Here. Make do with this. Rest well after that." The girl placed a steaming cup in front of him. He stared at the warm water she had given him, then at her again.
"You're as kind as ever, to think you'd be this worried about me. Then, I'll take it." He obediently drank the water after just a moment of hesitation. "See, I drank it. So this time, I want you to brew tea for me, I don't mind if I get more ill as a result. It's the last chance I'll ever get, so... "
"...I told you no." She replied after wavering a few seconds.
"I'll die if you don't brew tea for me." Linshen desperately pleaded, taking her hand.
"Look, you..." Chenlian sighed heavily. "You've decided to step up in the world, so isn't it time to stop acting like a child? More importantly, will you really return it to me?"
"Of course. But I'm sure you are quite busy lately training the Avatar, so come back once everything has settled."
"No, give it back immediately." She retorted, taking the prepared pipa and sitting down. "If you understand how busy I am, you should return it now so I can quickly go back to Aang."
"Don't shatter my dreams so easily." He chuckled slightly, barely showing bitterness. But then he seemed to realize something, his fingers touching his lips in surprise. His smile grew more self-derisive. Chenlian freed her hand and started playing. After a time, a guard called and Linshen excused himself for a time.
"Sorry for making you wait." Linshen greeted Zuko. "I brought what you asked for." He placed a small bottle on the table. "Still, to make me bring the poison you intend to make me drink... And you even suggested a gamble, with our most precious thing on the line, to make me drink it... that's quite a bad personality you've got there..."
"And you're the one who accepted it, and brought the poison... Besides, it's not a lethal one, it's only to dangerous to leave your thinking abilities intact, if you truly agreed to my request that is... You know how devastated she'll be if either of us dies. You won't put her through that, will you?"
"Won't I...? If you trust me so little, why did you even propose this gamble?" The swordsmaster gave orders to the servant and placed a 6x6 grid on the table. Thirty-six cups of liquid were prepared as well as a bowl with two dice, one for the abscissa, one for the ordinate.
"That was the only choice I had. We ARE in each other's way." Since he was the one who suggested it, Zuko threw the dice first. Linshen handed the cup that the prince drank. The beverage burned his throat but he tried not to show it.
"...You're right. Although I do think it's unfair since I'll be the prime suspect if something happens to you." The Earth Kingdom noble tossed the dice. Zuko handed the cup. Linshen coolly drank it. "You know how she'll resent me then."
"Consider that payment for the care you've shown me." The scarred young man shot back, dripping with irony. He was obviously referring to when Chenlian was imprisoned, and then supposedly dead, and Linshen had regularly come to torment him for free. He drank and placed the cup down next to the other.
"Oh my, even though that was payment for the care you had earlier shown Chenlian... Isn't it really unfair? You have a princess whom you love and who loves you back even after everything you did... But she's not the only one you care about. Didn't you choose your father, your sister, and Mai over her? There's also Ursa and Ty Lee, and now Aang, Katara, Sokka, Suki, Toph... But it's different for me. I never had anyone. There's only Chenlian. That's why I decided to give her my everything. And that's why I don't want you, who have other people and didn't even treasure her, to interfere..." It was his turn to drink.
"...I'm actually very selfish. I've always tried to take everything I could, without choosing anything..."
"But because you got too greedy, you lost sight of your true desire. It spilled from your hands, and you left it behind."
"That's why I will grow into a wiser man, able to see and choose what's truly important, and protect them. I will become a just ruler worthy of both her service and love."
"Humm... for me, it's enough if I have her, since she's all I care about. If I can't... well, it's enough to fill her thoughts with me... make sure she won't forget me... And there are a number of ways to that end..." Despite the shadow of sadness and self-derision on his face, Linshen was still smirking, eliciting dread in Zuko's heart. They had each taken five or six cups... time to wrap things up...
"Have you returned the ribbon to Chenlian or not?"
"I have."
"Then it's good enough. No need to keep the farce up any longer. You will let me win this bet." Zuko stood up in a clatter and unsheathed his broadwords, having failed to detect his opponent's lie.
"You must be joking." Linshen coolly replied, his chin resting on his hand. The prince swung down in response, slicing the table in half. The cups flew and fell, shattering on the ground, their liquid have spilled everywhere. The young head of the Wang family though had effortlessly evaded, jumping backward. He backed to the wall and reached for one of the decorative swords. Zuko roared and charged. "As hasty as always, I see." He quickly unsheathed too and blocked the second strike.
"I wouldn't put it past you to poison all the cups."
"As expected." Linshen kicked him away. The two recovered and took a proper stance. "I had prepared a tasteless, odorless poison, but did you not also take measures so you wouldn't lose? Isn't that a little cowardly of you? Was it Chenlian who ensured your safety because she didn't trust me? Or was it left behind by your mother? You're so loved." He spoke coolly but envy, cynicism and bitterness edged his voice.
"Who would risk their life with you as opponent? That you're still moving about like this means you've also taken a neutralizing antidote beforehand."
"Not at all. It's just that to kill time, I've tested many poisons on myself and built up a resistance."
"Damn you, monster!" But right as he was about to attack, Zuko staggered. His surroundings seemed to be lurching. He planted his sword in the floor to steady himself and dropped on one knee, hardly able to move.
"Are you alright? You seem to have quite a strong stomach, unexpectedly. I was sure a sheltered boy like you would fall after the first sip. I tested it on a number of people and even the heaviest drinkers would pass out on the first or second cup. Yet, you only became dizzy after taking a number of them and exerting yourself physically. What sort of body do you have? Or is it the strength of your will?" He pondered. "It's a pity that I have to say farewell, but I have somewhere to go so I shall excuse myself. You just stay here and rest some more." He raised his sword to strike. Zuko shut his eyes in fear, bracing himself. However, it wasn't him that was struck but the lights. The prince suddenly found himself in the darkness. He heard a mocking chuckle. "If anyone is to win a bet against me, that won't be you."
"I'll die if you don't brew tea for me!" That guy had truly looked and sounded desperate. Just what was wrong with him?! He'd always behaved like an attention-seeking child with her but still, wasn't that too much? And when was he going to come back? He still hadn't returned her ribbon to her. Good grief, what was that stray cat prowling about for when he looked so sick? While Chenlian was pondering, she heard the playing of a pipa. It was the song a certain young master requested the most often. As she was hearing it from outside, she left by the window after a moment of hesitation and headed towards the source of the noise. But the more she ran, the more dread filled her heart. As she raced through the garden, the girl looked up. It was a moonless night. The song suddenly stopped but she knew she was close. Chenlian burst through bushes and stopped when she saw Linshen sitting against a tree next to a small stream. She was panting but that didn't stop her from chiding him.
"What the heck are you doing in such a hard-to-find place?!" However, she gasped and rushed to him when the pipa fell over, like he no longer had the strength to even hold it. "Wait, you..." She took his arm and tried to move his hand, his fingers... And then she saw the blood on him. The woman looked up at his face again and red was flowing from his mouth, down to his throat. And a dark stain was slowly growing on his chest. He had to be cut somewhere! Chenlian tore a piece of the man's droopy sleeve and dipped it in the water. However, after cleaning his neck and opened his robes, there was no wound anywhere. "So you were THAT sick?!" She fiercely glared at him out of desperation much more than anger.
"...I'm returning your precious thing, just like I said..." He took her bloodstained hand and placed the ribbon Zuko had gifted her in her palm.
"There's no time for that! Stop playing me for a fool and tell me where you hid the medicine!" Obviously starting to panic, she searched around his other sleeve, chest, belt... He started chuckling again. "What are you laughing about you total idiot?! Where is it?!" She yelled angrily. At this, he had a pang of regret. He always made her angry even though he wanted to make her smile. But then he noticed that his sight was blurring, and darkening, and a moment later, he could not see anymore.
"I want to hear your pipa again." His hearing was all he had left.
"Quit messing with me! Enough! I'll call for help!" But he grabbed her wrist as she attempted to stand up.
"You... in the end you only gave me hot water..." He interrupted her in a weak voice. In that hot water he had actually put a slow-acting poison against which he had not developed a resistance. And he had chopped the antidote in all of the tea leaves at disposition. He had been thinking of revealing everything to her, that it was all because of her. Then she could never forget him, and he could become special to her. After meeting her he had thought for the first time about what he could do for people other than himself. And he also knew that at the end, he would never be able to let go of this source of warmth he had found. There was no telling what he could have committed to obtain it. So he had decided to act before things boiled down to that, while he still retained some rationality, and while he still had some place in her heart. This hot water and tea test were his final gamble. Would she indulge him? Would she stay true to herself, to her caring nature? She had easily overcome it and won the bet.
"So that's it..." Chenlian gasped as she realized the truth. "It's my fault... because I... I..." She held her head in her hands. Her voice was quivering. Her body was trembling.
"...Don't they say that beauty and a happy life rarely go together? It's standard for a deadly illness to strike the ideal man." He spoke lightly, trying to pacify her, but the regret and self-mocking of his expression could not be fully hidden. Even though he had not intended to tell her, right at the end, because of his weakness... she had guessed the truth. "I love you, your pipa playing, the tea you brew... everything about you..." As he was pouring his heart out, Chenlian balled her fists, her nails digging into her palms, like her teeth deeply bit her lower lip. Then she glared at him and slapped him.
"I won't let you keep dodging the subject like that! And I won't let you die after saying all you wanted either! I won't let you! Since you won't tell me, you just stay here! I'll call for help. You hear me, don't move from here!" The girl bolted upright, letting the ribbon fall, and ran away. Linshen picked the ornament and felt it in his hand.
"...The person who won my gamble was you. You really are special. I've always thought I would die without regrets. But I wanted to hear your pipa more. I wanted you to brew tea for me again. I wanted to kiss you more. I wanted a lifetime at your side... I wanted to hear you say you loved me..." He kissed the lotus decoration and his arm dropped to the ground.
When Chenlian returned with medical officers, guards, and attendants, Linshen was gone. Only her ribbon had been left. She fell on her knees and cursed him, punching the ground. Then she recovered and ordered them to look for their master. But she never got to hear word from him again, ever. She returned to Zuko who had been given an antidote. They waited together for a day, but as expected, they did not find him. Chenlian had been so shaken then that she had told everything. He had hugged her and stroked her head, but still, she did not cry. And then she even pushed him away and faked a smile. Then, the two left Ba Sing Se the way they came, back to the farm. They thanked the couple, and went back to Ember Island, to Aang and their friends who were waiting for them.
The journey was very quiet. The prince was on the driver's seat again. The girl was resting in the saddle, staring at the stars. Chenlian was being considerate of Zuko and not showing it much, but she had taken a very, very hard blow. She might have retrieved something, but she had lost someone precious. Was it worth it? She knew she had to make it worth, to make her relation with Zuko work. But right now it was really too awkward to be with him and rely on him. Zuko wanted to comfort her but doing so would feel too dishonest, like he was taking advantage of her weakness, callously enjoying victory. Chenlian was not just some trophy. And Linshen had not been just an enemy to defeat. There was also the fact that he was far too involved in the matter, and given his position, there was no way Chenlian would rely on him. Things were a lot more complex. The Fire Nation prince sighed. There would be no choice but to rely on Aang for help.
They arrived at the Fire Lord's residence on Ember Island the next evening and were greeted by everyone. Though it didn't take long for them to notice the dark atmosphere and that it wouldn't be good to ask too many questions. She had retrieved what she wanted, but Linshen likely died as a result. That was all she said before going to the forest. Of course, her friends were unsatisfied but she did not feel the need to go into details as it would not change a thing. So it was Zuko who explained everything, and told Aang where to find her, asking him to comfort her. He also requested that the others did not mention Linshen anymore until she healed.
Aang finally joined Chenlian who was sitting atop a promontory. After a moment spent in silence, he hugged her, saying it was so she wouldn't get cold. She raised an eyebrow at him.
"You think I of all people would get cold? Even though blizzards or Coolers are nothing to me?"
"Won't your heart get cold if you keep bottling your tears?"
"..." There was nothing she could retort to that.
"Nobody can truly know what goes on in other people's hearts. It is also difficult to predict what people do from their hearts. You knew about the darkness and danger lurking inside him, that he could very well end up destroying the world if he did not have what he wanted."
"...So what? That's nothing but speculation. I... I killed him!"
"Yes, maybe. His death was not confirmed after all. But let's assume that's the case." He knew that any half-hearted or sugar-coated words would be harshly rejected. She needed kindness, but firmness as well. "While it was for his self-satisfaction and all-or-nothing nature of his that he chose to disappear now, in this manner, you were the one who made him choose. Just like he had made you choose. You were the only one who he would allow to save or kill him. That's also why you're the only one who can cry for his sake. No, it's your duty to cry."
"...If you say it's my duty to cry, then I'll cry! But I won't allow any complaints if your clothes get ruined!" And so she wept in the Avatar's arms, so much that she fell asleep. Some time later, Zuko arrived and picked Chenlian up.
"Thank you Aang. It would have been difficult for me to comfort her given my position in this situation..."
"You're welcome. After all she's my friend too."
"...But I still feel jealous that she cried in your arms and not mine..."
"...errr... sorry about that."
The three returned to the house. Zuko, being especially considerate tonight, had arranged for Katara to use her healing powers on her 'sister' so she would not have puffy red eyes and a headache the following morning.
Chenlian woke up in Zuko's arms. Sunlight was leaking through the cracks of the shutters. She stealthily left the bed, washed her face, and open the shutters. As she stretched, taking in the morning light, arms suddenly wrapped around her waist from behind, surprising her. She looked up to her right. Her lover was gazing at her concernedly. She smiled at him. That puppy expression was just so cute. The young woman placed a hand on his cheek and rubbed it with her thumb. His whole face lit up, like a puppy running after a ball she had thrown, his tail wagging furiously. Really, just too cute. He cupped her left cheek with his right hand, tilting her face more and holding it as he leaned forward and kissed her, her forehead, her eyes, nose, cheeks, and finally her lips. Lips that he licked and nibbled until she allowed him in. Zuko tightened his loving embrace and deepened his amorous kiss. When he pulled back though, his golden eyes somehow reminded Chenlian much more of a wolf than a puppy...
Author's note: I'm starting this new year with this story. Hope you spent a good time with your loved ones last year and that this new year started well for you. Another chapter that isn't part of the canon. I couldn't find a better title so yeah. I'll soon be posting another one titled 'Advent of the Phoenix King'