July filters through with a blazing heat as Danu realizes that it had now been exactly ten weeks since the war. Ten long, lonely, terrifying weeks she had been cooped up in this hospital room, desperate for Severus to wake. No one had a solid answer for her as to why he was still lying unconscious; some said exhaustion, others believed it to be psychosomatic, Danu, however, had begun to fully blame herself. She panicked and administered the anti-venom too late, or perhaps had given him too many Blood-Replenishing Potions. Whichever it may be, she was certain that she was fully to blame for his current condition. Severus had begun flexing his fingers more frequently, occasionally acting as if he were trying to squeeze her hand but didn't quite have the strength. His mouth would fall open at least once a day, and a deep groan would escape, giving her hope that he would, in fact, speak again someday. His eyes though remained sealed.
Four times a day a healer enters the room for the millionth time to check Severus' vitals and administer strengthening potions, twice daily they preform mobility exercises to prevent his muscles from becoming too atrophied and his joints from seizing up once he wakes. The healers had taught Danu the techniques, and so it became a twice daily ritual for her to massage the muscles and work the joints on his right side, while a healer mirrors her movements on his left as the two of them slowly make their way down his body until they reach his feet, where they each massage the arch of his foot, rolling his ankle in a tight circle, then placing his foot on their shoulder and bending his knees forward towards his chest several times. She had learned how to prop pillows under sections of his body as to move him every hour, had mastered washing his hair in a basin without soaking him, became an expert at sponge bathing him every evening without his skin prickling with goosebumps, and was confident enough to position him to clean his teeth without water and toothpaste sliding down his throat. Three times a week she shaved his face the exact way she had seen him do nearly every morning the two of them were together. While the healers insisted she did not need to be the one to administer this level of care, she knew Severus would not want a stranger performing many of these duties for him. Five weeks in, Danu asked whether she could bring Severus home to Spinner's End and care for him in private where she believed he would be more comfortable, after much debate, the head healer's all agreed that St Mungo's was the best place for him to be until further notice.
Harry still came often, though not as frequently, which meant Ron, Mister Weasley, and Hermione also came less and less. Harry had proposed to his girlfriend, Ginny Weasley, at the end of June, and the two were busy planning the wedding for the following summer. Draco stopped by at least once every two weeks, though his visits had become shorter each time. Danu did not blame any of them, they had their own lives to live and a type of peace and freedom none of them had ever experienced before. McGonagall was the only one who kept up their frequent visitation schedule, though, she still did not speak to him. She would look down at him, a look of pain in her eyes before patting his hand motherly and slowly leaving the room. Even the reporters had stopped showing up outside of his door, and for this, she was thankful.
A brown haired healer named Jean, Danu's favorite of the day-time healers, finishes administering Severus' morning potion and turns slightly to smile at her, her que to begin the massage routine. Danu attempts to stand, when an overwhelming bout of dizziness consumes her, nearly sending her to her knees. She feels herself pale as she begins to sweat profusely and dry heave. Jean was at her side in a flash, she holds her by her elbow and steers her back to her seat before reaching over her and placing a warm, wet rag on her forehead. Danu holds the rag as her hands shake and her heart pounds.
"Oh, deary. Wait here, I'm going to get Madam Rosemarie."
"No, no. I'm all right, really. Just stood up too quickly." Danu tries to assure her, but as she turns towards the door, she finds Jean long gone.
A few moments later Jean and Madam Rosemarie return, Madam Rosemarie pushing a wheelchair. Madam Rosemarie, one of the four head healers, is a middle aged, plump, motherly type of woman with whom you did not argue. If Madam Rosemarie told you to do something, you listened. Danu allows Jean to help her stand and sits complacently in the wheelchair for Madam Rosemarie to whisk her away.
"Black Cat Fever. I guarantee it. The outbreaks start earlier and earlier each year. Back in my day, you only saw it in December, now we get folks coming in with it as early as May! Can you believe that?" Madam Rosemarie jabbers as she backs herself and the wheelchair into a room.
Danu allows her to run her wand over her body, checking for fevers, ailments, and infections. She takes a potion, relieves herself into a vial behind a curtain, then watches as a diagnostics potion is poured into the vial of her urine before Madam Rosemarie holds it up to the light to study. The potion turns clear, a good sign, no infection. Danu knew this from her years in Severus' Advanced Potions class. Madam Rosemarie cocks one brow, furrows it, then tosses the vial into a basin. Danu watches as the woman taps her wand on the edge of the bed in confusion, tisks, then disappears behind a curtain.
"Hmm…I wonder….." Madam Rosemarie mumbles to herself as Danu watches her shadowy figure move behind the flimsy curtain. She returns a moment later, several vials gripped between her fingers. "Well, it isn't Black Cat Fever. I don't see it being Dragon Pox, you would have spots by now."
She runs her wand over Danu's body once more and freezes a moment. She raises her brow, and gasps. She dumps the vials she is holding before disappearing once more behind the curtain, once she returns, she has two partially full vials, and an empty one. She gives her the mustard yellow one, watches closely as she downs it, and shoves the empty vial into her waiting hand. She feels her bladder fill instantly as she slowly makes her way behind the curtain to fill another vial. Danu passes it to her and watches intently as she drips four drops of the deep purple liquid into it. Her urine in the vial turns a dark magenta color as the color drains from her face and her heart stills in her chest.
"Congrat—"
"No."
"Well," Madam Rosemarie begins, holding the vial up to her face and shaking it slightly. She takes out her wand as she lies Danu back on the bed, she runs it over her lower stomach as Danu squeezes her eyes shut and clenches her fist at her side. "Ten weeks gone, I'd say."
This can't be happening, Danu refuses to accept it. She took the potion! Not at once, obviously. After following Severus from the room and finding his letter, she didn't have time to stop and think about a contraceptive potion! She asked for one the next night, after they had arrived at St. Mungo's, and she was assured that Severus would live. It couldn't have been too late! She wasn't even sure she wanted children, and Severus had made it perfectly clear that he did not. She hadn't noticed her monthlies hadn't come, she had far too much to concentrate on.
"I can't—I can't have it." Danu admits as she sits up, she looks Madam Rosemarie in the eyes sternly.
"I'm afraid it's too late for that, love." Madam Rosemarie says, a look of pity etched on to her face.
"There are potions." Danu spits, anger and bile seeping from her stomach and into her throat.
"Yes, there are. What I meant was, you are too far along. Had you come to me three, four weeks ago, I would have given you one, if it was what you wanted. However, it is simply too late. It is too dangerous."
"What do I do?" Danu pleads.
"The best you can, deary." Madam Rosemarie whispers as she places her hand on Danu's shoulder.
Danu drags her feet, slowly making her way back to Severus' room, terrified, despite the fact that he was still unconscious, of what Severus would think. She had failed him. She knew that he did not want this, knew that he wanted the Snape name to end with him, yet she messed up. She had ran right past that damn contraceptive potion on her way to get her wand! She could have stopped for a second, taken the damn thing, and she wouldn't be in this situation right now!
As she approaches Severus' door, she meets McGonagall coming down the hallway towards her. It isn't her usual visiting time; the woman always keeps a very precise schedule. Danu raises a brow at her.
"My dear," she begins. "I was wondering if you could meet Mister Potter, Mister Weasley, and Miss Granger at Spinner's End? We've gathered all of you and Severus' belongings from the Headmaster's Office and would like to deliver them there for you. We wouldn't have asked, but we know how private Severus is and didn't want to barge into his home without your permission. I have come to sit with Severus while you are away."
—
Danu slowly makes her way through the boxes Harry, Hermione, and Ron had delivered; hanging clothes, putting away potions and ingredients, finding a place for the countless books, and trying to decide just how all of these belongings could possibly fit into this tiny house. A house that was about to become even smaller.
Despite their protests and desire to help, she had sent the others away. She wanted to be alone, to process the being growing within her and the fact that not only was Severus not legally her husband, but he may never wake up. She didn't want them intruding on Severus' home. If he woke, he would have no more peace, no more privacy. Everywhere he went, people would whisper, reporters would flock again the moment they received word that he woke. Their home needed to be theirs. No one needed to know the color of their walls, the books they kept on the shelves, what type of dishes they owned, or whether or not their bedroom was carpeted. This was their sanctuary, their own private island.
Towards the bottom of a box filled with quills, blank parchment, matchless-socks, and her own personal hygiene products Danu stumbles upon a warn leather book. There are no markings on the cover besides a deep gouge where the leather had splayed open, she had never seen it before. She flips through the pages, an attempt to see whether it should be placed in the pile for the bookshelves, or the pile containing Severus' classroom items. The first page she reads in the middle of the book was the beginning of a letter of sorts, whether it's writer had changed their minds, or simply became lost for words, no one would ever know. All it said, it tight slanted cursive, very similar to Severus' own was,
Severus,
My boy,
Eileen had started this letter to her son, the date unknown. Knowing what she did of Severus' late mothers life, her heart sinks for the poor woman. Her life was destroyed by someone who should have loved and protected her. The only thing she had was her son, and in the end, she lost him too. If only she knew that Severus had held up his promise to her; he is a good man.
Danu glances around, afraid of being caught despite being the only one in the home and continues flipping through the pages. There are miscellaneous lists; things that needed to be done, items to purchase, how much money she had hidden away, and dates in which bills were due. Several pages contained potions; Bruise Balm, Burn Balm, Wart Remover, Callous Softener. Finally, on the final page, is the answer to Danu's prayers.
The potion Eileen had brewed in the memory Severus had shared with her, which was titled Utero Emundare.
Danu hurls herself from the floor and rushes to the kitchen where she had lined all of Severus' potions ingredients on the counter. She knew that he had all, if not most of the ingredients listed in the book she had tucked beneath her arm. She pushes everything that she doesn't need aside, and stands back to stare at the six out of seven ingredients lined before her.
Calendula and Comfrey to prevent infection, Mentha Pelegium and Mugwort to expel the contents of her womb, Feverfew and St. John's Wort to prevent her from ever conceiving again. Arisaema Triphyllum was the only missing ingredient, but since it also rendered its drinker sterile, she was sure that she could omit it without any repercussions.
Danu follows Eileen's carefully written instructions, and finds note at the bottom of the page that some of the ingredients may be omitted, she sighs with relief. Further down, she gets the impression that this is a potion of Eileen's own creation. Once the potion had finished its short brew, she brings the ladle to her lips, just as she had seen Eileen do in this very house so many years ago. Danu closes her eyes and drops the ladle. She picks it up again, tries one more time, and again, drops the ladle. Pacing the small room, a thousand thoughts run through her head.
Severus did not want this, he explicitly told her that he did not want children. She didn't know how to be a mother, could not care for a child while sitting twenty-four hours a day at Severus' side. However, if Severus never woke, this would be the only living piece of him. Danu pushes that thought from her head; this life was not Severus, would never be Severus, and she refused to have it be his substitute so that she did not live a life of solitude without the man she loved.
Danu bottles the potion, clears the cauldron, and places the vial in her pocket. She needed only a few more days to fully think this through.
—
Danu takes her seat at Severus' side, rests her elbows on the bed, and cups his hand in hers before bringing it to her lips. For twelve weeks now she had sat next to Severus, for twelve weeks she slept on a small cot next to his bed. Danu closes her eyes and leans her head against their joined hands, when Severus' finger begins to flex against her lip. Jean stands on the other side of his bed, recording his vitals and preparing to give him his restorative potions, that so far had done nothing to restore him.
Looking up, she is met with Severus' mouth slightly open, his tongue flexing in his mouth as if it were dry, and his Adams apple bobbing in his neck. His brow is slightly furrowed, his eyes moving behind their lids. Jean quickly moves into action taking a dropper and dripping little drops of water into his mouth, evidently she also was under the impression that his mouth was dry. Danu sits still, her eyes glued to Severus' face while she still holds his hand against her mouth.
"Severus," Jean begins. "Can you hear us?"
A soft moan escapes his throat, then another. Danu stands suddenly, doing her best to ignore the raging light-headedness, and moves to Severus' side. Her hand reaches out and smooths the hair from his face, the other remains clutching his hand, the finger still flexing.
"Can you hear me, Severus?" Danu asks, her heart full of hope that he will finally wake.
Severus tilts his head back slightly, two more fingers on his right hand begin to flex within hers, the moans become deeper as his brow furrows more. Before long, the moans seem to be sounds of pain as Danu removes her hand from his cheek and stands helplessly over him. Jean rushes to the door and shouts for Madam Rosemarie, who comes barreling into the room before Danu can even make sense as to what is truly happening.
"Is he in pain?" Danu asks as Jean pulls her away from his side.
More healers rush into the room, crowding around his bed, blocking him from her view as his moans become near screams. Danu slides down the wall and presses her forehead to her knees as she clutches her legs to her chest. The sounds coming from him reminding her of his screams the day he was bitten. As quickly as the sounds had started, they come to a stop. Everyone in the room lets out a collective sigh of relief.
"Don't try to speak, Mister Snape." Madam Rosemarie begins, her voice strong and clear above the bustle of bodies in the room and scratching of quills as each healer takes their own notes. "You are at St. Mungo's; we are taking care of you. If you can understand me, blink once."
Danu jumps to her feet, desperate to see whether he was awake, but no matter how she stretched or positioned herself, could not see around the crowd of healers surrounding the bed.
"Good job, Mister Snape. You're going to be just fine, you're in good hands. You seemed to be in a bit of pain, so we gave you a Drought. Can you point to where you were hurting?" There is a long pause as Madam Rosemarie makes sounds of approval. "Your head? Anywhere else, love? Your throat or your neck? Blink once for your throat, blink twice for your neck."
Another long pause as Danu leans against the back wall trying to keep herself upright. She couldn't believe it, it felt as if she were dreaming. Severus was awake, he was communicating, he is alive!
"Did you mean to blink three times? Yes? Does that mean your throat and neck hurt? Alight, love we'll get you something for both, don't worry. It's so nice to see you awake! You've got someone just over here who's going to be so happy to see you."
The crowd parts, Madam Rosemarie extends her hand towards Danu. All eyes are on her as she slowly makes her way forward. Her legs feel as though they can't support her, her heart hammers in her chest, terrified that this is either all a dream, or Severus will immediately sense something off about her and become angry. Finally, she makes her way to him, and with shaking hands, reaches out and cups his cheek gently. He has a hard time keeping his eyes open, his pupils are fully dilated, and the lids are slightly swollen. A tear falls from her eye as she watches his hand move in a slow, jerky pace to cup her own cheek.
"You're finally awake." Danu murmurs as she leans into his touch and swallows every ounce of fear and anxiety that had risen deep within her.
—
It has now been fourteen weeks since the war, four weeks since she had learned of the life growing within her, and two weeks since Severus had woke.
Severus was weak, but more or less healthy. The wound on his neck had finally begun to stop weeping despite the skin long since sealing itself, he was able to take short laps around the room with Danu and Jean each supporting him, his hand movements were less jerky, and he seemed to have more control of his limbs. His eyes were clear with life and determination and burned into her with an intensity she had never seen before. While he had not said that he was angry, or upset with her, she sometimes caught him narrowing his eyes at her and would shrink slightly as she did when she was a first year and he would antagonize her from across a cauldron. As soon as he would catch sight of her watching him, his eyes would soften and the crease in his forehead would smooth. Soon, it was determined by Madam Rosemarie that he was not narrowing his eyes in anger, he simply had a hard time seeing anything that was not right in front of him. Weeks of lying unconscious with his eyes closed had weakened his retinas. Madam Rosemarie assured them both that with time and patience, his vision would return. Severus did not speak often, only using his voice to ask for her or water, the sound of it deep and raspy, his face would scrunch in pain each time he attempted to speak, but to her, it was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. He would, at last, be returning home with her in just a few days' time.
As Danu had suspected, the reporters had once again flocked to St. Mungo's the moment word spread that Severus was awake. They had grown restless and brazen, often shouting spells at the door to force it open and attempting to push their way through when someone would enter the room. After one of them had opened the door and shoved a camera through the crack, Madam Rosemarie placed a charm on the door, not allowing it to open for anyone not permitted inside.
Kingsley Shacklebolt, accompanied by Harry, visited Severus every evening, despite the fact that Severus could not speak, Kingsley needed to question him to find out exactly what had happened over the course of nearly two decades. He would ask Danu to step outside and used Legilimency to view all of Severus' memories. Kingsley assured Danu that Severus would not serve time in Azkaban, but he would likely have a trial being as most of the population had demand it. The public, much like the reporters, were growing antsy. They had Kingsley and Harry's word that Severus was on the winning side, but they needed proof. This is why, with Severus' permission, Kingsley and Harry would be holding a press conference and releasing all of the information that had been gathered from Severus in hopes that it would ease their fears and they would stop demanding a trial.
"You know," begins McGonagall as she stands between her and Hermione, the three of them on their way to the fifth floor tearoom for a coffee while Severus was questioned by Kingsley and Harry. "Severus was desperate for you to be named Head Girl."
"Me?" Danu asked, surprised by this, considering she was not even in his house.
"Oh, yes! He tried for weeks to convince Flitwick and Dumbledore that it should be you." McGonagall announces proudly. "Had you been a Gryffindor, I would have listened to him."
"Why me though?" Danu asks surprised, her face turning slightly pink.
"Severus said that you would be perfect for the job. You are intelligent, loyal, hardworking, and kept to yourself. Flitwick, however, said that it was because you kept to yourself that he needed someone else. He wanted someone who got along with all of the students. Not that you didn't, he simply was worried that they wouldn't respect you."
"Oh." Danu replies as the three women take their seats around a table, each cupping their coffee in their hands.
Danu pulls the bottom of her shirt out and places her clenched fist beneath the bottom seam to keep the fabric from clinging to her swelling lower stomach. She was still small enough that she could pass the swell off as bloating but did not want to take any risks with a hospital full of reporters dying to snap a photo of her. The vial of Utero Emundare still rested securely in the pocket of her jeans, which she now had to expand with a charm as the button no longer closed. Several times she brought that vial to her lips, each time she lowered it before the liquid within reached her tongue. She wasn't as strong as Eileen had been when she drank it herself, the difference being, her child's father, Eileen's own child, was a good man and partner. Severus would not harm their child, he may not want it, he would possibly send them both away, but she knew he would never raise a hand to it. She had not told anyone of her condition and did not want word reaching Severus. She knew Madam Rosemarie would not tell anyone; the secret was safe with her. Danu allowed her to examine her once a week, which to her surprise, especially due to her lack of care for herself most days and her unyielding exhaustion, the creature within her was growing just fine, and apparently was roughly the size of an orange. Some days she didn't eat at all, as the nausea she was now experiencing was relentless. Madam Rosemarie had assured her that it would subside shortly, but it was only raging more as each week passed. Her sleep was more or less nonexistent at this point as Severus would often wake howling in pain at the intense headaches he was now prone to, which caused her to sit by his side stroking his hair until he would finally drift back into a restless sleep. The child was due in late January, which now gave her twenty-six weeks to find a backbone and tell Severus.
"Severus will be going home next week, no?" Asks McGonagall as she lowers his mug from her lips, the steam from which fogs up her glasses momentarily, making Danu smile.
"Yes. Tuesday or Wednesday they say, so long as he keeps doing well."
"Wonderful!" McGonagall and Hermione both say in unison the joy of the news reaching their eyes as they smile brightly.
"I really need to go tomorrow while Kingsley is here to get the house in order. No one has really been there in a year now. Severus has bad allergies to dust, even if he won't admit it. I want to clean up, change all of the bed sheets, make sure there's food."
"I'll go with you." Hermione volunteers.
"You don't need to, really. It shouldn't take long."
"It will be quicker if we work together. I can do the downstairs while you do upstairs, Ginny can do the linens, and we can send Ron and Harry to the shops. We'll have it done in no time."
"Really, you do—"
"I insist, we will meet you there at noon and we'll be done before you know it."
—
Mister and Missus Weasley, their daughter-in-law Fleur, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione all squeezed into the tiny home on Spinner's End; Harry had remained behind at the hospital with Severus. Missus Weasley brought a wonderful lunch of roasted chicken and so many sides she thought the poor woman's wicker basket would explode, despite the expanding charm placed on it. Danu picks at her plate and excuses herself upstairs to vomit with the excuse of having a large breakfast, while everyone stood around her tiny kitchen eating, as there were not enough chairs to offer everyone.
Ron went off to the shops with a short list of supplies she would need, Mister Weasley and Ginny tended to the gardens, Fleur took care of all of the linens, Missus Weasley cleaned the kitchen, Hermione dusted the parlor, and Danu took care of the upstairs. Danu watched as each of their eyes scanned the room as they stepped foot inside, surveying everything within the home, undoubtedly shocked that it was indeed normal. Incredibly cramped and dusty, but normal.
Danu finds herself finishing up with the bathroom. She had made sure the bath was scrubbed clean and Severus' soaps were lined on the edge within reach, the towels were clean, and the toilet paper was well stocked. She makes her way back to her and Severus' bedroom, where Fleur had left a pile of folded linens on the edge of the bed. Downstairs, Mister Weasley, Ginny, and Fleur call up the stairs that they were each heading out, leaving her with Ron, Hermione, and Missus Weasley. Danu peaks her head around the corner and thanks them for their time. In the front parlor, she hears Ron sneeze as Hermione finishes dusting the endless books on the shelves. Missus Weasley shuts the final cupboard in the kitchen as Danu turns her attention back to the bed to begin making it. Before long, she hears footsteps outside of the door, but does not turn to greet whoever is there as she stuffs the mattress corner into the fitted sheet she is handling.
"Are you pregnant?" She hears the accusing tone and whips around to find Hermione standing there, Eileen's notebook turned to the final page held up in her hand.
"Where did you get that?" Danu asks breathlessly as her hands tremble.
"Missus Weasley just brought it in to the parlor. I was about to put it on the bookshelf when I looked down and saw the ingredients. It was already opened to this page when she brought it to me." Danu scoffs at herself. She had forgotten to put the damn book away when she brewed the potion. She had left it out, the cover folded back, and the page opened while she brewed.
"Did she say anything?"
"No, I don't think she actually looked at it."
"Good." Danu relaxes slightly as she sits on the edge of the bed and buries her face in her hands.
"You are, aren't you? I heard you vomiting earlier, but you said something about eating too much so I let it go." Hermione says. Danu lifts her head to see her staring intently at her midsection.
"Yes." Danu whispers. "Please, don't tell anyone."
"You know, this potion would have been really dangerous."
"I know." Danu admits.
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know. I don't know how to be a mum."
"You should talk to my mum," A voice sounds from the doorway making Danu jump slightly. There, leaning against the door frame eating a chicken leg was Ron. She hadn't even heard him come up the stairs. "She's had loads of kids. She'll know what to do."
"Ron!" Hermione exclaims. "Keep your voice down!"
"Why?" Ron asks, genuinely surprised by the request.
"Because she doesn't want anyone to know!"
"Know what?" Missus Weasley asks as she pushes her way around Ron to enter the room.
"I—I'm pregnant." Danu admits, her voice low and shaky. Everyone would know soon anyway; she couldn't hide it forever.
"Isn't that just great?" Missus Weasley sneers at her before turning from the room and stomping down the stairs. Hermione chases after her, Ron remains standing in the doorway, chicken bone in hand, staring at her.
"She's not mad at you, you know." Ron begins as he wipes the chicken grease from his mouth with the back of his hand. "She's had a real rough go at it since Fred died. Hasn't been right since. A lot of people died, people we knew. She just needs someone to take it out on, and well, Snape was who she was mad at since George lost his ear. Since she can't take it out on him right now, you're the unlucky one."
"Yeah." Danu breathes, she can understand Missus Weasley's uncertainty regarding her, regarding Severus.
"Really. She likes you and all, now at least. At first, she thought you were, you know….like him. She knows you aren't to blame. She just needs to get it out is all."
Ron turns and slowly makes his way down the stairs, leaving Danu sitting there on the edge of the bed staring down at her feet. Her mind was blank, her body numb. She sits here for a while, finding relief in the solitude and silence. Before long though, Missus Weasley returns to the room. She sits next to Danu on the bed and pats her hand kindly. She wishes she could feel guilt for not wanting the life within her, but just can't seem to find the energy to summon it.
"I would like to say that I am sorry." Missus Weasley whispers.
"Don't." Danu begins. "You don't have to say anything, I understand. Thank you for coming though. Thank you for helping today."
"I know that you are a good girl. You don't deserve the way I have treated you."
"It's okay, really. I'm sorry about Fred and George." Danu looks up to see Missus Weasley's eyes closed, a tear escaping them. "How did you do it? All of those kids? I don't know what to do. I don't know the first thing about any of this."
"You think I did with Bill? He's my oldest. Arthur and I were terrified!" Missus Weasley chuckles slightly as she tries her eyes with her fingers and pulls her in to a hug. She is pump and warm and smells like dust and dish soap, but Danu buries her face in her shoulder and lets out a long shaky breath. "You'll be just fine dear. Just fine."
Missus Weasley holds her tightly for a moment, then pulls away and grips her firmly by the shoulders and looks directly in her eye for the first time.
"Don't worry about a thing, love. You let us handle everything. We'll throw you a baby shower, get you nice and set up, and then when the little one arrives, I'll be right here to help you."
"Severus doesn't know." Danu murmurs, her heart suddenly picking up speed at the thought of having to tell him.
"How far gone are you?"
"Fourteen weeks yesterday, according to Madam Rosemarie."
"Oh," Missus Weasley's brow furrows slightly. "You'd best get a move on, then. Men are different, they need more time to get their heads around that sort of thing."
"I need more time to get my head around it, too." Danu admits with a slight exhale.
—
Severus had been able to return home on Wednesday, twelfth of August, just as they had been promised. Despite the fact that Kingsley Shacklebolt himself forbade reporters from flocking to their home upon their arrival, they were still greeted by at least half a dozen cameras flashing in their faces.
Kingsley and Harry had picked them up from St. Mungo's in a Ministry car, which looked just like an ordinary Muggle car, except it was able to squeeze through tight spaces and travel twice as fast as an ordinary vehicle. Danu sits in the back with Severus, who was wearing dark sunglasses to protect his sensitive eyes from the sun, while he gripped her hand tightly. Each time they took an exceptionally sharp turn, he was not able to keep himself upright due to his weakened muscles, and would crash into her side, nearly sending her in to the floor. When they finally reach Spinner's End, Kingsley pushes the reporters back as Harry helps to navigate Severus into the house and onto the sofa in the parlor.
Later that night, the two of them sleep side by side in the same bed for the first time in four months. While this should have filled her with joy, she instead lie tense and anxious next to him. Severus had pulled her close, wrapped his arms around her, and rested his head on top of hers, one hand on her thigh, the other across her ribs. If he moved them, felt the swell of her lower stomach, he would know.
Severus still needed help grasping things, he could hold items perfectly fine, but the initial grasp was still difficult for his stiff, jerky hands. Once she places his coffee cup in his waiting hands the morning after their return home, Danu turns and removes his scrambled eggs from the frying pan, when an intense wave of nausea overcomes her. She swallows hard, closes her eyes, and holds her breath as she places the plate before him and offers him a fork. While still dropping quite a bit of food in the process of eating, Severus had gotten much better at feeding himself over the course of a week, which is precisely why all of the healers agreed to allow him to return home after his lengthy stay.
As Severus eats, Danu makes her way into the parlor to gather his long list of potions. A drought for his intense migraines, one for the soreness in his throat, another for his stiff joints, two to help aide in the regrowth of his muscles, one for the upset stomach he now got from consuming semi-solid foods, three that were purely vitamins, and a final Blood-Replenishing Potions for safe measure. There were also the drops intended to improve his eyesight, another that was to help with the sensitivity, and a balm for his neck wound that seemed to burn at random. Reaching behind a book on the shelf, she retrieves the vial of Utero Emundare which she had stashed there for safe keeping Sunday after everyone had left her alone in the house and shoves in in to the pocket of her pajama bottoms.
Back in the kitchen, Severus had finished eating, and was wearing far less of the eggs she had prepared him than he usually would. Danu cleans the bits of food from his lap, and sweeps the table clean on to his now empty plate. She fills a glass with water and begins uncorking each vial and passing them into his waiting hand. He swallows them each carefully, his face contorted slightly at the taste and feel of them touching his tender throat, then accepts the glass of water to wash them all down. Afterwards, he allows her to help him to the bathroom to brush his teeth, comb his hair, and dress for the day; she had helped him bathe the night before. Once safely back downstairs, Danu helps him into his favorite chair, props his feet up on the ottoman, and goes back to the kitchen for her own mug of now ice cold coffee; her lower back already aching from all of the lifting and bending despite it only being eight-thirty.
Danu pulls the vial from her pocket, turns it over in her hands, and does her best to ignore the pounding of her heart at what she is about to do. Severus is just where she left him, a book open on his lap as he mindlessly flips through the pages. While his eyesight had improved slightly over the course of two weeks, she doubted he could even make out the small words in the book, but it gave him something to do with his hands. With shaking knees and sweating hands, she walks forwards and places the vial between the pages of the book opened on his lap. Severus slowly raises his head and lifts one eyebrow at her in question.
"I—I didn't take the contraceptive potion in time. I took one, I swear I did. It was just too late." Danu begins as she paces the parlor, unable to meet Severus' eye. "I messed up, it was my fault, and I am so sorry."
Danu stops pacing and timidly turns to meet Severus' now furiously narrowed eye and shaking arms as he grips the arms of the chair so tightly it looks as if his fingers will snap.
"That," Danu nods towards the vial still in the book on Severus' lap. "Is Utero Emundare, the potion your mother brewed in the memory you left for me. I found it in one of her notebooks. I wasn't snooping, truly! I found it while I was putting away our things from Hogwarts and had never seen it before, so I was trying to figure out where it belonged, and I saw the potion in the back. I brewed it with every intention to take it….But I couldn't. I don't know why; I don't want this, and neither do you."
Danu finally stops talking and takes a deep breath, Severus' face is the color of a beet with pure rage, his fists clenched even tighter than before.
"I will take it now, if you want. Or I can go away, find a family. You told me that you didn't want kids, and I messed up. I should have stopped for a moment and taken the damn potion, but I didn't! Everything happened so quickly that night and I was only focused on finding you. It's my fault this happened, it's my fault you were in a coma for three months! I panicked and I didn't give you the anti-venom in time!"
"I…I was…supposed…to DIE!" Severus croaks, his voice shaky and hoarse, his face contorted in rage.
Suddenly Severus releases his clenched fist, hooks his fingers beneath the book and sends it flying across the room. Danu jumps slightly as the vial shatters against the wall and the book takes out a candle situated in the windowsill. Severus stands, his legs wobbly, and stalks from the room faster than she had seen him move since he had woke. The garden door slams against the kitchen wall, shaking the dishes in the cupboards, as Danu crumples to the floor and tears begin to stream down her face.
—
Word travels fast, even in the wizarding world. Draco stops by late in the evening as the sun begins to set. Danu and Draco sit at the small kitchen table, a mug of tea in front of them both, but neither touching it. In the center of the table is a small, well used pewter cauldron that Draco had brought by. Severus' childhood cauldron, the very one he used to teach Draco with.
Severus had refused to come back inside, wouldn't let her even come near him. Draco had tried to get Severus to come inside, but even he had failed. Instead, he brought him his potions and a glass of water and helped him grasp them the way Danu had taught him before he stepped out into the garden. He stood outside with Severus for a while looking up at the stars in the sky, neither of them speaking. They had not seen one another since Severus had woke. Danu watches in the faint glow of light spilling from the open doorway as Severus places his hand on Draco's shoulder and squeezes it slightly before walking away in the opposite direction to stare down at his mother's grave.