While we were talking, a lot of time had passed. So much time in fact that we were called for dinner. "Okay, I have to go to dinner now, what are you gonna do?" "I can't miss that" Right, the homeless instincts. "If you follow me, people will know you're there and that would probably violate some rules, but rules don't really matter here" "I don't like that" "You don't like the absence of rules? Why?" "When there's rules, you know what people will do. When you know what they'll do, you can make plans. When you have plans, you can handle situations better. Without rules, that doesn't work" "Sure, do you want to come or not" "Of course, I don't know when I'm gonna get food next" "Okay, just… try to act older. There are some people who like to pick on everyone who is different. In theory, I am at the peak of the school's bullying hierarchy, so no one is allowed to bully you, but just in case you should be careful" "Of course. Just in case"
We walked down to where we'd have dinner. Like the rest of our school, it was obvious that only the troubled kids were put here. There was graffiti all over the walls, paired with foods that hadn't been on the menu for months. When we walked in, I saw the four former biggest bullies. I put my arm around Annie's shoulder and gave them a look that said "She's off limits to you" Technically, everyone was off limits since they had forfeited their bullying rights almost a week ago, but Annie was more of limits. The protection instinct that always kicked in when I felt that Annabeth was in danger was made even stronger by the fact that she was now a small child.
Sure, she was perfectly capable (well, at least mostly capable) of fending for herself, but I still liked to protect her. Maybe I was a bit overprotective, but that wasn't as bad as it might seem because, as you could probably tell from the previous conversation, Annie really liked being protected, and the same thing applied to Annabeth and most other system members, so it wasn't an issue.
We got our food and went to the nearest table. When Annie sat down, her chair collapsed under her. Just in time, I caught her plate and put it back on the table. Spilling food everywhere could have way too many consequences, from injuries due to it being hot to a seven year old panicking because she had wasted (in her mind) precious food. I looked around but no one seemed surprised, so this was probably a common occurrence. I hadn't seen it happen before, but I had only been at this school for a week, so that didn't really mean anything. After a moment of silence, everyone started clapping. Apparently, this was a tradition here, proving that collapsing chairs were a common occurrence here. I looked down at Annie and saw that she wasn't really moving, meaning that she was either knocked out from the fall (very unlikely, the body has been through worse) or this was a switch occurring at an extremely inconvenient time (I went with this explanation). "Is everything alright over there?" someone asked. "Yeah, she just… needs a moment" "Are you sure? I could call-" "No, she's fine. Sometimes she just needs a moment to process things" Just a few seconds later, whoever was out came back up. "Ouch, that hurt" The voice sounded weirdly similar to mine. I had only heard it once before, in the lake, about two days after Gaia had died. Back then, I had decided it was just a consequence of the higher pressure under water, but this couldn't be the explanation here. He grabbed a new chair, sat back down and took the plate I had saved. We didn't talk much during dinner. Whoever was out didn't initiate a conversation and I respected that choice.
When we had finished and were on our way back to my room, I broke the silence "Uh, you're not Annie, right" "What gave it away?" "Well, mostly your voice. You don't sound like a seven year old girl. Also, I've never seen Annie be quiet for this long" "She can be very excitable. Well, I'm Thalce. I think we've met before" "In the lake, Annabeth had a flashback and you came out. Well, someone who's voice was similar to yours was out, so I'm assuming it was you" "The lake you say. I don't know where exactly it was, just that we were in an air bubble" "Yes, that's what I meant" "So, your name was…" "Thalce" "Like Thalia's nickname?" "Yes, but with a ce at the end" "How did that name happen?" "Long story" "We've got time. We have to stay up for a while" We had reached my room. I opened the door and sat down on the bed. "So, what's up with your name? Or are you not comfortable telling me, that would be fine" "No, there's no problem. So, do you know what an introject is?" "No" "Basically, anintroject is an alter who is, to some extent, based on a real person" "And that person is me?" "Partially. It's a bit more complicated than that. Allow me to elaborate" "I already asked you to elaborate like thirty seconds ago" "Right, sorry. My story begins a long time ago. Long before you even came to camp half blood. Before we came to camp half blood. You probably know the story. Annabeth runs away, she's scared and alone, Thalia shows up, things get better. Back then, Annabeth saw Thalia as this strong and powerful protector. And I was, I mean, she was. Out of all the alter types, introject is probably the one that results in the most identity confusion. So, Annabeth saw Thalia as a strong protector. She though that if Thalia was always around, she would be safe. Because of this, she obviously had this desire for Thalia to be there. I guess this desire became much stronger after her death. At some point, it got so strong that it created me, Thals. This time without the ce, that came later. Are you still following?" "Somewhat" "Good. After Thalia died, her protector role became but a faded memory, especially since eventually, Annabeth got older than Thalia had been at the time of her death. Because of this, my job of protector and my origin as an introject of Thalia became less… compatible I guess. But then one day, a random twelve year old stumbled into camp half blood, a Minotaur horn in his hands, and passed out on the porch.
You two began going on quests together and from the beginning on, you conveyed one message to Annabeth: 'You are safe'. You gave her the same things she had seen in Thalia, things she hadn't gotten from anyone else. The old feeling of 'If Thalia is here, I am safe', the same feeling that had created me and that had slowly faded until it was basically non existent, that feeling was now revitalized as 'As long as Percy is here, I am safe', and before long, I began to change. In my core, I stayed the same. After all, embodying a certain set of traits Annabeth liked about Thalia was the same as embodying a certain set of traits she liked about you since those traits were the same. But something wasn't right. I wasn't made to be Percy, I was made to be Thalia. Also, about a year after you showed up, Thalia came back, so the comfort that Annabeth had found in her was restored, which brought me back to my old self. But then, Thalia joined the hunters, which made her lose her regained protector status again, so suddenly, the title went back to Percy. In theory, that should have meant I'd switch back to being like you but that didn't happen. I guess the constant changing was too much for me, so I sort of split apart.
One morning I woke up and, okay, I have two separate strands of memory here, so this might get a little confusing. So, one day I woke up and I was back to being like Thalia again. One day I woke up and I had never been Thalia. Before, I should tell you something about introject memories. Since we're based on an origin, we can have their memories. More specifically, whatever the system thought the origins memories were at the time of creation of the introject. Because of that, an older version of me had what Annabeth thought were Thalia's memories. So, one day I woke up and had Percy's memories. Back then, I was Perce. Like, as a nickname for you" "I've heard that nickname like twice in my life" "I guess it had to fit the pattern. Thals, Perce, sounds the same" "Not sure if I can follow that logic" "If it wasn't complicated, it wouldn't be DID" "Again, not sure if I can follow that logic" "Well, it's a complicated disorder where everything has a reason, but none of these reasons are obvious. Alter names are a complicated thing, and for introjects it's probably even more complicated. Sometimes they have the same name as their origin, but sometimes it can be a variation or something completely different." "Whatever" "So, back to my backstory. Thals and Perce kind of coexisted for a while, handing the protector job back and forth depending on whoever currently gave Annabeth the most comfort. I'm not sure why it happened, or when, but a while ago I began to exist. Thals and Perce had somehow fused together and became me. That's where the ce at the end of my name comes from. Are you still following?" "Dude, I gave that up a long time ago. Wait, are you a dude?" "I'd say yes. Fusion, like being an introject, causes a bunch of identity confusion, and this also applies to gender." He was quiet for a few seconds. "Yup. I was just thinking about getting changed, which would obviously involve seeing myself without clothes and I can confidently say that I am not a girl. Somehow after the fusion, I ended up as a boy. I don't know why, but it's stupid and annoying. Percy, why did you have to be a guy." "I don't know, ask my mom" "Well, technically, it'd be your dad's fault because your mom can't pass on the Y chromosome she doesn't have. That could only come from your dad" "Are you sure you are based off of me? Because I don't say things that are this smart" "Like I said, I'm just based on you, not a perfect copy. By the way, you mentioned staying up, why was that?" "Oh, there's this sandbox on the school grounds, but for some reason there's no sand, so Annie decided that we needed to fill it up once again." "And you agreed" "Yes, under the condition that we'd do it when everyone else was sleeping. I was concerned about such a young girl staying up this long, but she told me it was okay" "And you believed her" "She told me that children only needed a lot of sleep for biological reasons, and she's only a child mentally" "I guess that makes sense, and I say that as the alter responsible for making sure nothing bad happens to us, like sleep deprivation." "But this is okay, right?" "I guess. Missing a few hours once won't kill us, we've had worse" "Good, because I don't know how I'd tell Annie when she comes back out" "If that happens" "She was super exciting to restore the sandbox later, I don't even know why she's not here right now" "The collapsing chair scared her. She found herself in a dangerous situation, which is a trigger for me" "Good to know" "Why is that good to know, so you can trigger us?" "What is this, an interrogation?" "Sorry, you know, trust issues" "You exist specifically because Annabeth trusts me, but you don't trust me? Forget it, trust issues aren't logical. No, it's just good to know because it'll prevent me from accidentally triggering you" "That is a valid reason" "Also, 'good to know' doesn't always mean 'this knowledge will benefit me', sometimes you just say it to acknowledge that you understood the other person?" "Good to know" We both laughed. "But seriously, I don't think enough people realize how important that is. Not triggering people I mean" "Don't worry, I'd never do that" "You did. Like, a bunch of times" "When?" "For example, on our way to the acropolis, you reminded Annabeth of the heart of Tartarus. Why?" "Before you assume malicious intent, always consider the option that stupidity might be the culprit" "You triggered us because you were too stupid to realize that mentioning one of the most traumatic moments in our life, which at that point was less than three weeks ago, could be triggering?" "Yes" "You're lucky that only Annabeth is allowed to insult your intelligence." "Yeah, that was dumb. The situation reminded me of that other thing and sometimes I just talk without thinking" "Which I've heard tends to get people who really shouldn't be angry at you angry at you" "That tends to happen. When I was twelve, I fought Ares" "I know. I remember everything you did that Annabeth saw, which leads to some weird fragments. Like, I remember once jumping out of the Gateway arch, but I have no idea what happened next, or only very vaguely." "Makes sense. Annabeth saw me jumping down, but everything else she only knows from what I told her and since my attention span is approximately one jiffy, I didn't tell her a lot" "And how long exactly is a jiffy?" "I don't know, my attention span wasn't long enough to find out" "Annabeth probably knows. She knows approximately everything" "I see you also absorbed some of my opinions" "Not necessarily. I think being surprised by her knowledge goes back to when I was just an introject of Thalia. I kind of miss that time, no identity confusion and no dysphoria. Well, it could be worse. I don't really notice anything unless I get changed, shower, or do something else where I take my clothes off, and I rarely front long enough for these things to become inevitable" I checked the time. "In that case, you have around half an hour to switch out for someone who is comfortable with getting changed" "I was actually in a similar situation just a few days ago, and it led to an annoyingly long switch because there was nothing triggering someone other than me" "So right now, you'd need that trigger?" "Yes, you have my consent and all that schist" I started talking louder. You know how in bad movies the protagonists sometimes tell each other lies very loudly in the hope that the antagonist will hear them and believe the lies? That's how I was talking now. "We have to turn off the lights soon and when it gets dark, you know what sounds fun? Cuddling with a child. And after that we can steal a bunch of sand and restore the sandbox here" "It's working. I'm dissociating and Annie is definitely close" "Hey Annie, want to come back out" "What if I get hurt again?" The voice that asked that was a strange mix of Thalce (who himself was a mix of Percy and Thalia) and Annie, meaning that she was probably very close to front if she was able to talk like that. "Don't worry, there's no unstable chairs around and you still have a lot to do today" "Okay" I watched the switch happen. It was pretty standard; eyes looking off into the distance for around two minutes, head falling forward a bit etc. After the two minutes, I saw a grin spreading on Annie(?)'s face. "Percy, I'm back! Sorry, the chair scared me a bit, but now I'm here again" "Good. First of all, it's lights out in a few minutes and we still have to get changed" "Come on. Every school I go to they have this stupid lights out rule. Why can't I just stay up as long as I want?" "Every school? As far as I know, that would only be two schools in total" "That's still more than one" "fair" "Why couldn't Thalce get changed?" "Because he doesn't like this body" "Okay, that makes sense. He looks very different inside. Then I guess I'll take care of that now. Why don't people just invest clothes that are comfortable enough to wear at night but also strong enough for the day. We have those in the inner world. Wait, did Annabeth actually take anything with her?" "No, but when I packed the stuff I'd need at school, she made me also pack a few things for her 'just in case'. Well, that case is now. Let's see if I can find anything"