Chapter 2

"My neighboring Kingdoms we are gathered here today…"

I stopped listening. It wasn't salient to my existence, I had heard that speech more than once. I could recite it, which was a relative good. As future queen of Brittanica, I would have to give that speech after I wed the insufferable prince. The prince's mother was foreign; she didn't get to keep her throne when King Ernest had died. As soon as the prince married me, he would be eligible for the throne and his uncle, the regent, would be rid of. Possibly, the only positive thing that would come from our forced union.

To entertain myself, I decided to look out the window. It was still snowing; it had been snowing all week. Even safe havens had their imperfections. When the first founders based the castle, they chose this mountain because there was a view of everything. Any attacks would be clear, the only alternative way in was through the sewers but unless you had a shovel and an eternal torch, there was no way anyone could make it across, let alone an army.

Clapping and cheers interrupted my contemplation.

Were the fireworks set off?

I looked around to find an expectant crowd. Their focus was on the Brittannican convey. It was time. Mother must have shortened the speech to give space for the engagement announcement.

With a fervent anguish, I watched Antonietta de Guise raise her goblet to capture attention.

I could have cried when she started speaking.

"If I could have the attention of all that join us" She paused and made sure people were listening. Her accent slipped the louder she talked "After my husband died, I was heartbroken; my life was empty without my husband by my side. I would have to raise our two children on my own. Thankfully, my husband's brother was elected as Regent and I could concentrate on the welfare of my family… but now my son is of age… but to become a king he must wed. He must marry someone that would not only compliment him but also his country"

She sounded utterly ridiculous,

The dethroned woman outstretched her goblet toward my direction. How unnecessarily dramatic.

"Princess Roan fits that description-she is the woman that will take a throne that has been vacant for far too long"

I wanted to puke or run out, to race into the snow and disappear in it. All at the same time.

The clapping and cheering from before returned, only louder and merrier.

Of course. They are getting a tax break, how could they not be happy?

The whole night, I had been avoiding Prince Newt. I would not look at him; I would not be in the same side of the room as him. Now, I searched the crowd for him, I wanted to know if he was as resigned as me.

I found him quickly; he was next to his sister. I could recognize him from previous ceremonies. I had only ever exchanged greetings with him.

He was drinking from his goblet, drowning his sorrows, I would assume. His hair was a honey colored blond, his skin was pale. The brown of his eyes always made me feel insecure and his tall stature intimidated me.

My heart was beating from me, I felt it push my ribs and pump blood relentlessly. I felt weak and dizzy. If it were not for the cold seeping from outside I'd be sweating.

In my current state of emotional turmoil, all I wanted was to go and hide out in my room but Mother warned me not to leave until after people started dancing. Courtiers expected a feast or some sort of meal before said dancing.

I would puke if I ate.

Forcing my nerves to rest, I sculpted a fake smile and started to move throughout the crowd to find Thomas. I needed a distraction.

My head was spinning; I didn't know where I was going.

Eventually, I crashed into a courtier; I had no idea who it was. I apologized and kept moving. The room and the people all merged and spun in a colorful unyielding cycle. The music felt numb in my ears and the voices overlapped and ran into each other.

Tears threatened to burst, if the court saw me crying, Mother would disown me.

Claustrophobia nipped and scratched at me. I could not breathe, the corset and the room were working together to suffocate me.

I was too depleted too care and I couldn't find Thomas. Disregarding my wellbeing, I rushed out of the doors and through the dark hallways. I ached to find a way outside and into the storm. I wanted to feel a winter blizzard on my skin before I left it forever.

I followed a cold breeze to the nearest door. It was bolted in and I ripped the skin of my palm trying to push it out. As soon as I unlocked the door a gust of wind opened it for me. It pushed the door with a force only the mountain withstood. I picked and lifted the hem of my dress, I ran through the thick snow. My feet skidded as I ran, I made it most of the way before I slipped. The blood from my hand stained the snow in a scarlet print.

As hard as I tried to keep them in, the tears slipped and ran down my cheeks, the howling of the wind drowned out my sobs. I just needed to get the feeling of encasement off my chest, if only for a little while.

I cried into my hands until my toes started to burn from the cold. I had stayed where I had fallen but it was time to go back inside. Feeling not as morbid but still afraid, I followed the holes I had made in the snow back to the castle. I could get lost in my own home with a blizzard like this one.

Once at the door, I found it to be closed.

My heart sank and I started to hit the door with the palm of my good hand. It took a while before it opened. A guard stood, a look of fearful shock sketched itself on his face when he recognized me.

He apologized but I held up my hand and ignored him. Torches had been lit and I could see what I was doing. I trudged, a dark and impenetrable cloud latching on my shoulders.

Somehow, I found my way back to my room. There I threw of my shoes and struggled until I got my dress off by myself. I took the clips that pinched my scalp and I pulled the blanket of the bed and covered my head.

I cried well into the night before I got some rest.

The next morning I woke with a headache and a purging hunger. I rung the bell beside my bed, Agnes was already at the door. She brought the tray to my bed before starting to pick up the mess I had made last night.

Without regard for manners, I hastily ate and forgot to use a fork and spoon. When I finished, a new maid came in and took my leftovers. Agnes had already taken out my dress. Obviously, chosen by my meddling Mother.

After much prompting, I got up and let Agnes dress me. She got a bandage for my hand at some point. I told her not to pin my hair up only to braid it. My head still hurt even after eating.

I left Agnes to her chores and quickly navigated the hallways. I wanted to get to the castle library to get my mind off my impending nuptials. I was researching different type of seeds that could grow in a mountain environment. There was a tribe much farther from here, precariously dependent on herding and fishing. They had sent a letter asking the castle for help. Mother did not deem it worthy of her attention and handed me the task.

Thankfully, the courtiers and visitors were still sleeping. The hallways were empty and I didn't have to waste time curtsying.

A light chill seeped through the windows making me move faster. The library was always warm. Books were good insulation.

Scholars were already at their tables, reading books or scribbling math that I would never understand, into square chalkboards. I envied their dark robes. They signified extreme honor and prestige. In this hierarchy, the scholars only ever came second to royal blood. They could also marry whomever they wanted.

I needed to get through the only guard at the other side of the room. Mother was punishing me for my crassness by attempting to keep me out of the library. Her motive and means had an inverse relationship.

Nervously ducking my head, I sped through the rows of books until I found what I was looking for. Some book from the old world had lengthy detail of a mountain tribe. I was looking into to it to see if I could find anything.

I could not go and sit at the tables in case the guard saw me. The wooden floor was my only option.

I would not be able to tell anyone how long I was in there. When I finished the initial book, I looked for more and more. I had a feeling that after today, I was not going to get much reading so I was trying to research as much as I could with the allotted time. When my stomach started to hurt from hunger did I stop. The guard was still there but he was sleeping when I slipped out. The kitchens were two floors down and past the throne room. That's were all the courtiers were. I wasn't going to make it past there unnoticed so I would have to take the long way. Finding the servants staircase, I stuck to the wall to stay out of the way and rushed down.

The kitchen was full of servants carrying or moving something. Regardless of my presence, they kept on. They knew I liked to make unsolicited trips down here from time to time; I found the pantry and took out the biscuits left from yesterday's tea. I stuffed one in my mouth and the rest I carried.

I was going to pay Janson a visit in his laboratory. He was working on some new pulley system to make his skiing trips easier. He hated walking up the mountain. Trying not to look suspicious, I strolled through the relatively empty halls. No one ever used this wing; they got scared because if you get close enough to the window you could see the edge to where you would fall if the structure broke.

Finding the large door, I walked in without knocking; after all, it was still my castle. Janson was not in the main room so I fed his bird before moving into the workshop.

"She's a sensible girl but she can get very irritable …"

Janson stopped talking when he saw me. He knew I caught him red-handed.

He was there, talking to my tutor. Thomas was also there but he was not important at the moment.

I watched Prince Newt pale.

"Princess Roan I was just telling these gentlemen all about your wonderful qualities."

"Yes, Irritability is quite the virtue." I retorted, crossing my arms.

"Where were you this morning?"

"That is none of your business Thomas."

Thomas shook his head and sighed.

"Princess Roan, I do hope we have not upset you by conversing about your character. I just wanted to know more about you since…"

My brain struggled to compute. The terrible, terrible horror had just spoken to me.

Trying not to stutter like a fool, I responded. "It seems reasonable but next time I would like to be present to defend myself."

I shot a glare at Janson.

Thomas eyed me inquisitively "What happened to your hand?'

Hoping my panic did not betray me, I examined my hand attempting to appear nonchalant.

"Oh this. Lousy bolt, you know these things happen"

He narrowed his eyes "No they do not. Valets usually open those for you"

"Do not be difficult Thomas; it is too early for that"

"Not at all. Lunch is to be served and I am positive you haven't eaten."

"But I-"

"No, no, too early for excuses. Come along."

Thomas moved from behind the table and came to push me out the door.

"Newt? Janson?" He called. I hoped they stayed.

Janson claimed he still had work to do and Prince Newt tagged along behind us. I tried to ignore his existence as best as I could.

"Now that Janson's not around to report you. Where were you this morning?"

"I was in the library. Honestly Thomas, if I am not in the workshop I am going to be in the library"

"You Mother forbid you from going in there yesterday at tea." Thomas claimed, taking a turn.

"She did say that didn't she?"

I left them behind after that. I was not going to be near them anymore then I had to. Why was I even going to lunch? I was only going to be judged by everyone.

Courtiers snickered as I walked by. They had probably come up with some licentious rumor about my disappearance last night. It did not bother me, they were all half-brained hares.

I paused in shock when I reached my sear, this was not acceptable.

A duchess was occupying my chair. Did she not realize that's where I sat?

"You're over here, my lady."

A servant girl stood beside me and led me to the other side of the table. To the Brittons.

I hadn't even gotten to the altar and I was already sitting as one of them. A valet pushed in my chair and bowed his head when I thanked him. I was around strangers.

Tears wanted to burst again but I was done crying. I gulped them back and sat up straight.

No one had time for theatrics.

The empty chair to my right worried me. Princess Rosemary was to my left so there was only one candidate.

It didn't take long to have my suspicions secured. Prince Newt sat next to me, from the corner of my eye I could tell how nervous he was.

To my surprise, I only felt a twinge of annoyance.

"Delighted to make your acquaintance. I'm Rosemary, Newts sister."

The girl beside me was stunningly beautiful. Her blonde hair was lighter than her brothers, it was almost white but yellow streaks paved the difference. Her blue eyes held a bright glint, her wide and perfect smile made her look innocent. Her pale skin blended into her light pink dress making me envy how perfect her complexion was.

"I'm Roan. Pleasure to meet you"

"Are you exited for your wedding? I sure would. Newts a nervous wreck. He did not get a wink of sleep the whole way here. You should have seen him when Mother told him he was getting married. It was quite a surprise…"

I nodded my head as she talked. Most conversations outside private rooms usually went the same way.

Noble women always liked to talk about themselves before they asked you what you thought. The princess kept talking about how she was planning her dress for the ceremony.

The thumping of the scepter interrupted her. Silence followed its echo.

My Mother and Father both entered. They both appeared on opposite sides of the room and imperiously walked in. Their backs straight and their chin's as high as the mountains.

When they sat down, the food started to appear. It was a five-course meal. Each plate was set to represent one of the five's kingdom. Besides the food, everything was dull. I was tired of dullness.

As soon as lunch finished I stood and left, forgetting to excuse myself. I got an earful for it later.